So I just graduated high school and I realized that I was heavily Blue Pilled. I’m talking like I’d “respect” woman and almost be submissive(?) to them (for a lack of better words), I would put them on a pedestal, and basically treat them differently and would was a nice guy (I was never a jerk or a dick to them).

So now I’m going off to college. I’ve never had a first kiss or sex before. I downloaded Tinder, OKC, and Bumble. I don’t have trouble on those apps. I would say I’m not ugly, but I’m definitely not a 10/10. I don’t have confidence problems at all, I have a high self esteem and don’t give a shit about what others think of me.

As for the TRP: it just seems so unbelievable to me how girls want to be treated like this. Like I understand that you need the looks for this to work (you can’t be a 3/10 and expect to negg and be a “dick” expecting women to like it). I’ve been blue pilled so hard to where I just can’t believe it. I WANT to believe it but my upbringing is clashing with it. I want to get girls in college and was just trying to get Red Pilled. Side note: I’m on the skinner side (6’0, 142lbs) and I’m lifting 3-4 times a week and eating ~3k a day. I want to make myself even better looking because I don’t think my face is the problem. It’s my body.

Whenever I walk past a group of girls or a hot one, I can keep my head held high, but I feel my body like weaken and a put forms in my stomach. Almost I feel beta to them. I think this is partly due to the fact that I don’t like my body. I have no problem taking my shirt off (I’m a lifeguard) but I just feel like I lack muscle and that makes me feel weak.

This turned into a rant, but I hope someone of you can just relate/help me improve and to help me believe that the Red Pill is true.