tl;dr - Men aren't reared correctly. As a consequence of this, most men are simply boys that are extending their adolescence for as long as possible. This means that women are surrounded by low value (unattractive) men. This is driving up their urge to regulate the sexual behaviour of men through society-wide compliance tests. All men are failing these tests, even men in the anti-feminist camp. The specifics of this are not talked about or understood correctly at all, and it's important that men understand this. I implore you to read this full piece so that we all understand what's really happening.
Women are the gatekeepers of sex, men are the gatekeepers of commitment.
Men want sex, women want commitment. If a women gives you sex immediately, she gets labelled a slut. If a man gives commitment away too easily, he gets friend zoned. Keep these general rules in mind whilst reading this piece.
Men offer two things to women, value and comfort. Value is how attractive you are. It is your number out of 10. It can be summarised as the traits you have that indicate that you have the potential to move up a dominance hierarchy. The dominance hierarchy is the social structure that men formed in hunter-gatherer societies, and it was roughly based off of who could add the most value to the tribe. Men formed this hierarchy, and women mated with the men who were at the top. This ensured that only the right men would propagate their genes. Only some men all throughout human history were allowed to pass on their genes, which makes perfect evolutionary sense. If there are 10 men and 10 women in a tribe, why would you have each individual man mate with each individual women? Why not just get the man who has the highest value (ie. can add the most value to the tribe) to mate with all the women? That makes the most sense from a purely evolutionary perspective.
Men of high value are men that can move up dominance hierarchies. The traits that these men have are usually centred around risk-taking behaviours, and an ability to maintain your composure under these high risk situations. If I balance on a tightrope that's one foot above the ground, that's quite impressive. If I do it between two buildings, that's 1000x more impressive. If the wire is the same width, then that means the level of balance I'm displaying is the same, so the reason for why it's immeasurably more impressive when performed at a greater height is that the risk is greater. People who can partake in risk-taking behaviours, and maintain their composure whilst doing so, inspire awe and admiration in people. The men who were willing to venture into the unknown and conquer it were greatly admired. We formed hero myths centred around such behaviours.
How men test each other
Let's say you're an alpha male in high-school, and you see a dweeb walking down the corridor. You get a sudden urge to shoulder-check the dweeb and shove him into the locker. Why do you get this urge, and why do you laugh with your friends whilst doing it? Why do adolescent boys enjoy such behaviours? Well, it makes sense from an evolutionary perspective. If you and me are in the same tribe, and you're not acting right, then our tribe is going to suffer. We have women and children to protect and provide for. If you're acting in a way that indicates that you're weak, I will get the urge to toughen you up. I will get the urge to treat you poorly, to indicate that you're low down on the dominance hierarchy, and to force you to become stronger. Men bully and give each other a hard time to test each other and make each other stronger. Young boys will often wrestle each other. Male adolescents will tease each other mercilessly. Male bonding usually involves a lot of rude jokes that poke fun at each other. We usually enjoy these behaviours greatly, we call it 'banter'.
Let's say that you're insecure and experience a lot of anxiety. You would most likely walk around with your head down and hoping that you just don't get noticed. You don't want people to look at you, you probably just want to stay invisible. You would feel this way because if you're insecure, having more eyes on you ramps up your anxiety levels greatly. Giving a speech in highschool would fill you with dread. You would rely on your notes entirely and most likely shake during the speech. Being insecure and not thinking highly of yourself puts you in your head. You're anxious about your future, you feel regret about your past, and insecurity about your appearance. You're not in alignment at all. You're using up brain capacity on all these different things, and so you lack the ability to just focus on the present moment and act forthrightly.
Alpha males and their ability to play social games
The alpha male is not in his head, he is in his body. He is not thinking, he is just acting. He wouldn't need to rely on notes whilst giving a speech, he could just free-associate instead. Why is he able to do this? Because he thinks highly of himself. He's not dwelling on the past, or anxious about the future, or insecure about himself. He's able to have his thoughts, words and actions line up. Fighters will clear their minds before a fight, because if they're too busy thinking then that means that they're using up their finite amount of brain capacity that could be better used for fighting. If you want to achieve a flow-state, you can't be thinking, you just have to be acting. So high status men are able to act in the world in a forthright manner, and low status men are more inclined to stagnate and live in their heads instead.
Alpha males are able to actually enjoy giving each other a hard time. They don't take it seriously, and they actually enjoy the banter. They're capable of free-associating and having thick skin. They're able to play this social game. In high school, they give low status men a particularly hard time simply because it's fun to them. If you asked them why they're doing it, you would get a response that's something like "Don't worry, we're just having fun." That's all it is to them, just fun. They enjoy the game. They enjoy the test. They know they're good at it and so they welcome the challenge. They don't shy away from people, they're capable of partaking in these social games we play and winning whilst having a fun time. Evolution made men enjoy these games because we use it to structure the dominance hierarchy. We figure out who's the alpha and who's the beta based off of their behavioural characteristics. We don't create resumes for each male and measure their ability to add value to a hunter-gatherer tribe, we just make subconscious assessments of each other based off of our behaviours and act accordingly. The dominance hierarchy is very much linked to who can banter and free-associate and who cannot.
Social games and Shit tests
We're all aware of what a shit test is. It is tool that women employ to test a man's value. The shit test will involve her saying or doing something that's designed to see whether or not you're better than her from a value perspective. Women are hypergamous, so they're only attracted to men that are of higher value than they are. That means that they mate across and up the dominance hierarchy. If you greatly admire someone, you're more likely to qualify yourself to them and pedestalise them. You want their approval, so you try to prove yourself to them. If they insulted you in some way or indicated that they don't really like you, it would affect you emotionally and it would hurt. Likewise, if you were around someone who you didn't really care about, then you wouldn't qualify yourself to them. If they insulted you or indicated that they didn't really like you, you probably wouldn't even remotely care. We usually only want the approval of people that are better than us, or are of higher value in some way.
So when a woman gives you a shit test, your reaction to the test will indicate whether you think you're better than her or not. Qualifying yourself or backtracking when hearing a shit test means you're pedastalising her and wanting her approval, and therefore you're not engaging her hypergamous instincts. Likewise if you react with indifference, you're indicating that you think highly of yourself and that you don't need her, and inspiring attraction in the process. Responding to the test with a counter-test, or a playful insult, is the best response. Think of the shit test like an invitation to play a game. Flirting usually involves playful banter and light-teasing. The pickup artists called it 'game' for a reason. It's a social game you're playing, and people who aren't in their heads but rather are in their bodies and think highly of themselves are particularly good at playing this game.
How societies create men of high value
Every culture all throughout human history gave their adolescent boys a rite-of-passage. They would send their boys into the woods for a month, or into a dark cave, or something similar. They did this to transition the adolescents from boys into men. Young adolescent boys are indecisive and need decisions made for them. They don't like responsibility, they're easily afraid, and worst of all they're insecure. Insecurity sets in around that age. You start to become really self-conscious and dwell on all your short-comings. From a hunter-gatherer perspective, you're useless and not able to add value to the tribe.
A rite-of-passage would fix that problem. Being thrust into the unknown forces you to become decisive and courageous, otherwise you won't survive. It forces you to stop thinking and instead start acting. It forces you to stop dwelling on your short-comings, and instead focus on what you're actually capable of. You would exit the rite-of-passage with a new found confidence. That experience would be something that you can point to to justify having high self-esteem. If you survived it, you would now have a reason to think highly of yourself. You would now have the behavioural characteristics that indicate that you can add value to the tribe.
How modern society fails men
We have no rites-of-passage in our modern times, and as a consequence men are extending their adolescence for as long as possible. They indulge in all sorts of short-term gratification instead. For example, they indulge in:
Video games which are a life achievement simulator.
Podcasts, youtubers, online forums which are a social life simulator.
Porn which is a sex-life simulator.
These three things are simulation versions of what men of high value get. Men who are acting correctly in the world are admirable, and so they get a social life and a sex life and they most likely experience feelings of accomplishment. What we've done is create digital versions of these social rewards and made them accessible to all men everywhere so the incentive to grow up is greatly diminished.
We also have a schooling system that doesn't allow young boys to form the dominance hierarchy correctly and prevents men from learning how to act right. When you get bullied, the way to stop the bullying is to indicate that you're a formidable person who isn't weak. They're testing you to see if you're valuable in some way. You're meant to figure out how to be fierce, and you're not meant to get help but rather develop the behavioural traits that command respect.
Running to the teacher and asking for help indicates that you're not formidable and not self-reliant, and yet that is what is taught to young boys. They're taught to not fight and to not be boisterous. They're meant to just sit still and submit to the teacher. They're taught to ignore all their biological impulses and not help each other grow. As a consequence, the dominance hierarchy stays static and doesn't move. The dominance hierarchy exists to make men grow, and to ensure that the men at the bottom aren't always the same men. The boys at the bottom stay on the bottom throughout their entire school lives, never being taught that they need to grow strong and become formidable. Men go to very dark places when they stay at the bottom of the dominance hierarchy for years on end.
Most young men also have parents that don't push their sons enough. Fathers should routinely encourage their sons to go out into the world and conquer it. Fathers should also stop the mother from coddling the son too much so that the son can enter the world and take risks and grow as an individual who doesn't need help. Parents need to foster independence, and they aren't doing a very good job of that in recent years.
How men make women feel
When Justin Bieber or Brad Pitt go onto a talk show, every woman in the audience screams and loses their minds. When one direction roles into town, women chase them and throw their panties at them. Whereas when Jessica Alba or Ariana Grande goes onto a talk show, the men just sit and clap. Women view the top percent of men with reverence, they throw themselves at them. But the corollary to that is that they view the bottom percent of men with disdain and contempt. The reason for this is simple if you look at it from an evolutionary perspective. Women are the selectors. They decide who gets to propagate their genes and who doesn't. Nature is that which selects, and women select, hence the term 'Mother Nature.' If women run for the hills from low value men, and throw themselves at high value men, that ensures that only the right men will have children. This is why women are the gatekeepers of sex. Women are the egg, and men are the sperm. Men can have hundreds of kids a year (ie. Genghis Khan), women can only have one (barring twins etc.). It makes complete sense that they're brutal when it comes to selecting men.
It also explains why women care way more about sexual assault and sexual harassment. This is a very important point. If I'm on a train and I feel a hand on my ass, and I look over and I see a women who's around my size groping me, I most likely will feel flattered and just laugh. I may even tell my friends about it and brag about it. From an emotional perspective, I won't care. However, if I'm a woman on a train and I feel a hand on my ass, and I look over and see a man of identical size groping me, I will feel violated. I will feel scared and humiliated. It would be a horrible experience. The reason for this difference in reaction is because women decide who gets to have sex and who doesn't. They're the gatekeepers of sex. This is exactly where their power lies. If you override who ability to select you and just grope her, you just took her power away from her. It isn't just the size difference between men and women that explains why they care more about sexual assault, it's the fact that they're the selectors. Men are apathetic towards ugly women, but low value men make women innately uncomfortable at a cellular level. Remember this fact.
Comfort and what women want
Earlier in this piece I mentioned that men offer women both value and comfort. Comfort is your willingness to commit and be monogamous. It is your ability to provide for her and protect her. Women have a desire for comfort because in hunter-gatherer societies they would die without male protection, especially during and after pregnancy. But men who offer women comfort right from the start get friend-zoned and never get laid. Why? Because value and comfort are roughly inversely correlated. Men game women for sex, and women game men for commitment. A women who gives you sex quickly is less likely to get your commitment. A man who gives his comfort too quickly will get a woman's time and emotions (ie. be a shoulder to cry on), but no sex. Men of high value have options, they have multiple women that they can seduce and sleep with. The more options a man has, the less likely he is to commit to one girl.
A women's fantasy is to get the guy that all women want, but he wants just her. She wants to get the commitment from the guy that has options. That's what Twilight is. The handsome vampire with impossibly high value that all women want, but he just can't get this Plain Jane out of his head. He lusts after this boring Plain Jane. She's not like other girls. That's a woman's fantasy. That's what 50 shades of grey is also. Handsome billionaire, impossibly high value, infatuated with a Plain Jane that all women can project themselves onto. She's wants to have to game him by being desirable and feminine to secure his commitment. Women love feeling feminine. They love feeling petite and submissive. They want to feel desirable. But they can't just snap their fingers and induce this feeling within themselves, they require a high value man to evoke that feeling from within her. If she has no high value man in her life, then she won't ever be able to feel truly feminine, desirable, submissive etc. Without high value men around her, she won't act in a way that's desirable to men.
Women test a man's value with shit tests, but they also test comfort. They test comfort by giving men compliance tests (AKA. comfort tests). Compliance tests are far more nefarious and harder to spot then shit tests. They are far more pervasive. But they must be understood because they're more relevant now then they've ever been. Let's say that you're a guy who works out, works hard at his job, has a lot of cool friends, and has a lot of cool hobbies. You're an in shape, ambitious guy with a great social life. You're a catch. You then get a girlfriend. She will begin to give you compliance tests in order to test your comfort. Here's some examples to illustrate what compliance tests are.
"You don't need to work out so much, I kind of prefer guys with softer bellies, it's nicer to cuddle with. Besides, you could hurt yourself at the gym."
"Why do you work such long hours? You're so tired when you get home, and we can never spend any meaningful time together."
"You always spend your weekends with your friends instead of me. It's like you prefer them over me. Do you not like spending time with me?"
"Kayaking is way too dangerous, you're going to hurt yourself! Plus it's so expensive. Let's find activities that we can do together instead."
Now a year later you're out of shape because you stopped working out, you're no longer ambitious because you stopped grinding, you no longer have friends, and you no longer have cool hobbies. And so now your girlfriend is no longer attracted to you. But the reason she's no longer attracted to you isn't because you're an out-of-shape loser with no friends, but rather it's because you failed her compliance tests. The compliance tests are designed to lower your value to ensure your commitment. She's taking away the things that make you attractive to increase your comfort. When you fail a compliance test by bending the knee, you're indirectly communicating to her saying "I'm not high value. I don't have options. I need you because I can't get other women. I will do whatever it takes to make you happy." Remember, we seek the approval of the people we pedastalise. And women are hypergamous, and aren't attracted to men that pedastalise them because it indicates that your value is lower than hers. So when you fail a compliance test, you're letting her control you because you think it will make her happy, but you're actually indicating a lack of abundance and by extension of that low value.
Now because you're no longer attractive to her, you no longer evoke feelings of femininity and desirability from within her. You once made her feel submissive and sexy, but now you don't. Only high value men can do that. She no longer feels how she wants to feel. She wants to dote on you. She wants to be cute and look at you lovingly. She wants to have a symbiotic relationship with you where she serves you and treats you amazingly. It used to bring her great joy to bring you joy. But she can't actually experience any of that unless you actually evoke those feelings from within her, and you can only do that if you're high value.
Compliance testing starts small, and only escalates once you fail. It will start at tiny things, like getting you to do some more chores, or letting her check your messages, or forgoing some activity in order to to some other activity with her. The more you yield, the greater the compliance test. After a while if you keep bending the knee, you're suddenly replacing sex with massages, doing most of the chores, giving up your drums because they're too loud, spending all your money on her, letting her not pay rent at all, letting her walk all over you. Women will act as bad as you let them, but they don't want to have to act that wayf They want to feel feminine and submissive, but only high value men can evoke those feelings. If you continually fail compliance tests, you will start to evoke feelings of disdain and contempt from within her. Why? Because women view low value men with disdain and contempt. And since you're failing these compliance tests, you're low value.
If you want your girlfriend or wife to act a right, then you have to act right. You cannot demand respect, you have to command respect. The feeling of femininity and desirability that you evoke from within her is how she games you. Remember, women game men for commitment. She games you by acting in a sexy, submissive and feminine way. She wants to have to act this way in order to keep you around. She will act as bad as you let her. Let her game you. She wants to game you. She wants to have to earn your commitment. Never forget this.
The consequence of a world filled with low value men
Most men nowadays are weak. They don't pursue meaning. They live from craving to craving. They bitch, moan and complain a lot. They don't have an allegiance to anything at all. They prefer to talk about their feelings rather than implement solutions. They don't take risks. They can't maintain their composure in stressful situations. They choose the simulation version of social rewards over pursuing the real thing. More and more men are low value. The number of high value men in western countries is diminishing very, very quickly. As a consequence of this, women are surrounded by low value men. They're surrounded by men that make them feel uncomfortable on a cellular level. They don't like low value men even looking at them, or getting any form of sexual gratification from them in any way at all. It repulses them. What they do want from these low value men is comfort. Remember, low value men give comfort way too quickly. Women expect low value men to be the shoulder to cry on, to be the beta male that serves them. To provide for her, but never get any sexual gratification from her.
The #MeToo campaign is a macro-level compliance test designed to regulate the sexual behaviour of low value men, and to also get low value men to regulate each others sexual behaviour. Women want low value men to provide comfort, without ever getting sex. This is ideal for them. They want to ensure that these men will ask for consent every step of the way, and be incredibly hesitant to ever escalate, and be hyper vigilant of ever trespassing against her sexually, and to get these men to monitor other men's behaviours so they can regulate each other. It's all a compliance test, but on a macro level. But remember, compliance tests start small and only escalate once the man has failed the first ones. Feminism is ramping up it's compliance testing because men continually bend the knee and yield to these tests. This is just the next level. And it won't ever stop. It never stops. Compliance testing never stops, even when you're a shell of your former self and are only used for the money you provide with no thanks, it still continues.
You pass a compliance test by not bending the knee. You maintain an abundance mentality, so that you won't be willing to completely change who you are in order to keep her around. You maintain a frame that indirectly communicates that if she doesn't act right, you'll leave because you have options.
What men need to do
If women see a low status male not bending the knee and is instead railing against women in some way, they see an unruly slave. They see a man not doing what he's supposed to do. They see a man that's attempting to demand respect, instead of commanding respect. What happens when a slave is unruly? The slave master cracks the whip even harder. A lot of the men in the anti-feminist camp fall under this category. Feminists are seeing what they believe are low value men who are refusing the bend the knee. This doesn't suddenly make these men value value, it just makes them unruly slaves. High value men don't spend their time arguing with feminists online, or watching feminist cringe videos, or anything like that. High value men are off acting within the world, not wasting their youth arguing with idiots. So when women encounter these anti-feminist men, all they see is a low-status unruly male not doing what he's told. The anti-feminist guys aren't really helping that much in regards to turning the tide around when it comes to feminism and all the chaos it's created. The only men, the only men, that can turn the tide around are men of high value.
When women see MGTOW, they don't see high value men that are refusing to date them, they just see low value men saying 'You can't fire me, I quit!' They just don't care. Low value men doing anything other then bending the knee just annoys women. It's not going to change their mind. Only high value men can do that. Only high value men can evoke feminine and desirable behaviours from women. Women will often imprint on their partners politics and beliefs once she's with a man that's she's attracted to. I once heard a quote that was something like "A woman won't have time for feminism if she has a hard dick chasing her around at night" and it's entirely true. Women don't act right unless men act right. You want her to be feminine and desirable? Well then you need to be a high value man. You need to be a formidable risk taker. You need to be able to banter and play the game well. Only then will you evoke that side of her. All women are fully capable of being both loving and doting partners and also cruel and emasculating shrews. The side of her that's brought out into the world is entirely dependent on the men she's around. What side have they earned?
Many men nowadays are railing against feminism. They don't like what they're seeing, and they try to fight back against it. But they're going about it all wrong. How can you expect women on a macro scale to act right if men on a macro scale won't act right? You can't demand respect, you have to command respect. It's should be self-evident as to why feminism is ramping up in recent years, it's simply because men aren't acting right. They're hardly men. They're boys. They're weak. And women are responding exactly how nature intended. The antidote to this is for men to recognise on an individual level that they need to do away with their Peter Pan syndrome and start behaving like their ancestors. I walk down the street and see men with glazed over eyes, who would have very little recourse if somebody decided to impose their will against them. These men don't deserve the loving, doting side of women. Only men who have tested themselves and become formidable and competent deserve that side of women.
In order for men to become who they were meant to become had they been reared correctly, the need to create a rite-of-passage for themselves on an individual level. Recognise that there's a part of you that's resentful and angry and wants to impose your will against others. Tame this side of you, integrate your shadow. Take up martial arts. You'll learn to control this part of you so that you can leverage it voluntarily if somebody tries to trespass against you. Approach women to test yourself against nature. Take social risks and practice maintaining your composure whilst doing it. Routinely do things where you don't know what the outcome will be. Stop using porn, podcasts, shows and food to run from all your negative thoughts. You have to accept your shortcomings that you have no control over, you have no other choice. You need to stop dwelling on your past regrets, and instead re-frame them as lessons that made you a stronger person. It's vital that men do these things, and stop being weak. We have no other option.
A woman's love, respect and loyalty is one of the most valuable things in this world. It's something that all men seek. You don't get to have it by default, you have to earn it. You have to prove yourself. You have to communicate that you're a capable individual, who can play the game well, who has brought themselves into alignment, and is acting how nature intended them to act. Without men acting right, women won't act right. You can't just complain about feminism and the current societal standards, you can't demand change, you can only command change. The more we fail these compliance tests, the further into chaos we descend. By and large, men get what they deserve when it comes to women. If all the men in the world started to act right, a lot of these problems would dissipate. The nihilistic attitude in this sub is a dead-end. It's weakness. It's an avoidance of responsibility. You're a node that's within a network, and so everything you do ripples out and effects the world in some way. You're going to meet a thousand people in your life, and they're each going to meet a thousand people. That means you're only one person away from a million people, and two people away from a billion. You have more influence then you think. Start doing what you know you should be doing.