This is directed at the older wiser MGTOW, cause I need some wisdom right now.

WARNING: It’s a long one, and it’s about life and what will happen to me if I let one specific woman in.

WHY?: I don’t have anyone really smarter than me left to talk to right now about this. I've used my two trusted real-life resources.

I’m sitting here, in a crappy hotel room in my draws, after almost getting washed completely away by the PERFECT STORM.

But first a little mini-backstory to give the STORM merit:

ME: Never married, No kids.

I am Mgtow, was a swinger and an international booty traveler for a bit.

Settled into home. Rented a Nice condo. Getting old. 40+

Got a blue collar job, winded it down to MGTOW levels, just self-support and chill.

Zero Debts. Good credit.

Only Plan for Retirement: Buy a house and pay it off before D-Day and coast on pension.

Not really killing the pension because on MGTOW cruising.

Live in Vegas

Rent was $695. For a 2 bed condo, cheap and good. I chill.

I love no woman, but my grandmother. Parents gone.

Grandmother calls and wants to leave her expensive city and get a house together in Vegas before it gets too expensive here too. She wants only to stay in “room” of the house. Wants me to have something when she’s gone since I am the one with no parents.

Gives me $$$money. Like $$Money. Doesn’t want granddaughters to have it.

So I go to get a house. A DOPE HOUSE.

Location, counterintuitive. The DOPEST HOUSE on the bad side of town, but Vegas is expanding.

Hoe crashpad. Mcmansion. 2 levels. Only one room on bottom floor. 3 rooms up top including super dope master bedroom pimp pad.

Grandmother gets one room downstairs 10x10, but gets giant living room, dope kitchen, tiny ass Vegas backyard (backyards are tiny out here).

Washer Dryer upstairs, but Grandmother don’t stairs so good. I fear accidents.

I get all the way to sign the dotted line, AND I CHOKE!

I COULDN’T DO IT $32k down, $15 a month AND brand NEW CONSTRUCTION. DOPE!

I CHOKED. I FAILED! AND I AM FILLED WITH REGRET AND CAN’T GO BACK TO THE BUILDER BECAUSE I MADE AN IGNORANT SCENE AND THAT IS THAT.

I have nothing now but pure regret – I should have done it. Because I didn’t do anything when I could have.

I THOUGHT IT WAS OVER.

Just a little regret filled me every day. Failure.

Grandmother told me not to worry about it. And use the cash for ME

Didn’t want anything. Not even a new car.

Finally settled on $10,000 of Technical School training in my blue collar area so that I could work as an independent contractor and make 2-3x more money a day.

I paid for the schooling in advance,

THEN GOT HIT BY THE PERFECT STORM

  1. Got a tooth infection. New tooth and Emergency Surgery $3k

  2. Went to work right after surgery, 14 hour shifts

  3. Got a sinus infection>throat infection>chest infection>bronchitis>brachiates>

  4. Still worked 15 days straight for 10 hours a day taking micro baby steps and can’t breathe.

  5. Hospitalized, Expected to DIE. I Let go. I lived, 4 days, $70k bill.

  6. Bedridden for months, but have to go to Chicago to take a tech class bought and paid for.

  7. Lease renewal is coming up. Rent’s been $695 since 2013. Increased to $850 (Ouch).

  8. Unsure of renewal (big increase), I learn that renters paying $1095+ for same place.

  9. I Start to think about buying a house

  10. Before I can decide, I return from Chicago TO FIND AN EVICTION NOTICE ON MY DOOR, because while you were away, the owner decided to return and live in the property, sorry!

  11. Lies! They only want a rube who will pay $1200 a month and not fight.

  12. Leave 7/31/18 – Thanks for nothing. Took all my cash too! 5 years of $695 rent = 41,700. *Poof!*

  13. 35 days to vacate, I start to look for house. I remember grandma’s offer.

  14. Loan officer lets me know Las Vegas (magically?) has a new program. FREE 20k if you buy a shit house (not a shit house, but a normal house way out of town through 30-45 mins traffic, that ain’t “supa panty droppin’ dope”.

  15. I spin the wheel. Me vs. the clock to find a house, get it processed and signed before the 31st.

  16. I almost made it.

But there was a typo on the paper. The title company FUCKED UP. So I couldn’t close on time.

Now I’m spending the hot days in my no AC car with all my valuables just day’ living in my car. Catching a hotel at night. I love my car but she’s old. I can either run the ac or the engine. She let me know that. I know my car will die after this ordeal is over. She let me know as much.

I Keep wondering if It was a blessing or a curse. Is this a pause in the matrix for me to really get out of here before I get trapped in a 30 year mortgage with a 30-45 minute drive?

But this was my plan for retirement! It has returned to me a second time, with a free 20k.

But the title lady is an idiot and dropped the ball, and things are gonna take until tomorrow afternoon (so she says), buuttt….I booked the hotel room til Monday, just in case.

So here I sit in my underwear.

REGRETTING NOT BUYING THE SUPER DOPE PAD, because it was $1500/month and on the side of town nobody wants to live yet, so no traffic really. Close to stuff. No go invisilife.

WHY DO I REALLY REGRET NOT BUYING THE SUPER DOPE PAD? Because it was VERY un-MGTOW of me. That house was Exactly what I wanted, built from the ground up. I had to Reach to the sun in my mind to get it and keep it.

It reminds me of when I bought my current car. I drive a dodge neon, but I loved the charger! but the charger was $100 more, and I chose the safe route. 13 years later, I would have been driving that race car for 13 years! who knows what type of adventures I missed out on because of aiming down, now I feel like even with this gift of a new house I am aiming down.

Instead lies before me:

$20k free house, $5k down.

30-45 min commutes, but no bums where I would live. No more white boys in wife beaters riding bmx bikes looking for empty apartments to squat and sell drugs in.

No more begging for change when I go to the gas station. No more “hoe stroll”.

No super dope, pimp, “she dropping the panties at the door” house.

Just a house. $1500 a month.

AND my grandmother wants to come live. Enough space for both of us, first floor, 2 rooms apiece. Tiny ass Vegas backyard.

But she wants to help pay.

Already warned my grandmother about the nagging about me acquiring a “companion”. And oddly enough what is the first thing she veto’s? A dog!

She means a woman, not a companion, and she’s already butting in.

And I asked her “is this how its going to be?” because if it is, I am going out for a pack of smokes and not coming back

I don’t even want to live with a woman again, but my grandmother I do love and I offered to take care of her free of charge when she said she wanted to leave the city for the first time. Then all of a sudden money springs up out of nowhere and the rules change.

This is not for the super dope house.

This is just a house. I can't get worked up, I can't get hyped up. In my mind its just 2x the rent.

When she passes, it’s mine. No contest.

I check around at all the rents, 2 bedrooms starting at $1095-1200.

Might as well buy one for $1500. I regret with all my capability not buying the super dope pad.

I just think to keep driving and don’t look back and never answer the phone again.

But I can’t decide.

And I can’t stop regretting, and wishing I could turn back time to just 8 months ago and buy that super dope pad.

But I can’t.

So here I am in my underwear in a trashy hotel/casino.

Looking at all the perks, having yet to live all the negatives. 30 years? 30-45 min drive?

But if I don’t, what are rents going to be like in 10 years?

And no super dope house.

How can I stop the regret?

How can I make this decision?

PLEASE HELP GUYS.