Women operate on their precious feelings. This is no mystery. They want to feel alive.
Too often I head over to TRP and read something along the lines of - GF of 4 years cheated on me, and the peanut gallery shouts Hypergamy! OK great,time to replace the AWALT cheating GF, problem solved right? Wrong.
Yeah sure hypergamy plays it's role. But without asking the harder questions, no progress can be made. Why did she branch swing? What did she get elsewhere that she couldn't get from you? The answer is always feels. Upon digging into these posts a little deeper, I almost always find the guy saying something along the lines of.
"Yeah, I never lifted, played a lot of video games" Thats a problem, but not the killer blow.
"We basically just went over to each others place's and hardly went out anymore" Bingo
The relationship has become stale. It's predictable. She no longer has that feeling of wonder. That feeling of excitement. To sum up, she's bored. Sadly from what I've observed this is the state of most relationships I see. Cue Chad's arrival, who suddenly sparks excitement again, suddenly makes her feel alive again. So "it just happens"
Small disclaimer - You can do everything right and she could still cheat. However, a woman who's always guessing, always feeling a live, always holding the feeling of adventure and wonder is far less likely to look elsewhere for the feelz when she gets it in abundance from you.
There's always things you can do in a relationship, like dread. Or dark triad shit. To keep it going, however that is exhausting, and a sign that there's something wrong to begin with. In my experience you need little more than to evoke emotion in her. The relationship needs to be fun. She needs to feel that sense of wonder, that sense of excitement.
How do you do that? Well it's fairly simple.
Have fun. Live a life with her that she craves to be apart of. You have to lead. Don't ask her what she want's to do, tell her you're picking her up and taking her somewhere. Let her get tingles every time you pick her up because she knows it's going to be an adventure. When you're leading she’s comfortable knowing that you have her safety at heart and all she has to do is show up and have a good time. More often than not this will results in her spending her time thinking how she can add to the date - sexy lingerie, a surprise blowjob in the car etc. When you're a good leader, she'll become your number one supporter.
Take her wine tasting. Take her for a short hike. Take a day trip somewhere. Go to a gaming arcade. It's not the activity that matters, it’s how you do it. If you go wine tasting, fuck her in the vineyards on a tractor. If you go on a hike, smoke a joint and get lost in nature, also fuck her with an amazing view. Go day tripping and stop next to a lake that says no swimming and go skinny dipping. Go to a festival and get fucked up together. Go to the gaming arcade, cheat on all the machines so you get a bunch of tickets and get her a huge teddy bear (These are all things I’ve done).
I’m not advocating doing anything Illegal, most you'll get for these is a slap on the wrist. What I am advocating is giving her a thrill. A point of excitement. A rush. I’m advocating evoking emotion in her, going to dinner at your favorite restaurant for the 3rd time in a row and talking about your day isn’t going to do that. Try do something memorable every time you go out. Do it to the point where it becomes second nature to you. When you're having fun, and leading, inevitably she will too. It becomes a habit to have fun.
Women in my experience are naughtier than men. They'll be as game as you are(you leading). As time goes on you'll find that they are coming up with ideas and things to do on a date. They become so attached to you because they associate time with you with good feelings. Their mind connects thrilling, exciting emotions to you, this is what they believe to be "love". The higher regard they hold you in the more they want to do to please you. They behave where you set the bar. If you're very wild, fun, adventurous, they'll love you for it and feel comfortable showing their wilder side too. They take comfort knowing that you have their best interests at heart and let out their inner animal, just for you.
Most of the time people start off in a ball of fire but stagnate as the relationship goes on. People slip into comfort. Which has never made sense to me. Life is still happening, why should it be more boring because you've been together longer? You don't stop doing fun shit with your guy friends? Why should your relationship be any different. In the past I've been with a woman for 4 years and nothing changed. We adventured and explored and got up to all sorts of mischievous endeavors in year 4 just as we did in year 1, because it was fun. I was fun. And she wanted to be apart of it.
Don't do it for her, do it for yourself.
It goes for as long as it goes, and if it ends it ends, but do you want to look back on a relationship that deteriorated into a Netflix bingeathon and pizza(although that can be great on occasion) or do you want to look back on an endless list of memories that you've built up over a thrilling period in your life. Yes Hypergamy and yes AWALT but why would she look for a thrill, or excitement, or feelz anywhere else when she's so busy having a ball with you.
Oddly enough, I find that as I become more adventurous/fun/risk taking-I guess more Alpha in general, many of my BP friends and/or their SO will try to hop on my bandwagon to leech off of that excitement. They see me as an item to use, as an alternate lifestyle to emulate when they find appropriate. Ultimately, most BP men are simply just boring in thought and action
Can you describe me your lifestyle? I feel boring, although I do a lot of fun stuff. I wanted to hear what you are up to and how often, so I can get a few new ideas.
Feel free to ignore this.
Great post.
"Go day tripping and stop next to a lake that says no swimming and go skinny dipping." Sounds like the plot to a low budget horror movie.
Lol, Floridian here. Sharks, alligators and crocodiles. I’m good.
And mudcrabs depending on where you are.
If she gives you mud crabs, you should soft next her.
What generates more feels than getting your leg chewed off?
You’re not wrong. But that is the boring safe “dad” response.
Don’t be a dad, be a chad. Take risks.
I've gotten called "daddy" by two girls in the last month. Partly because I play a lot of things safe. Not all things, but still.
Never have I heard something more apt. Being too protective and fatherly gets oppressive and boring. My only saving grace has been my unstable side that keeps me chasing addictions and passion, otherwise I'd be wayyy too safe.
I do need to take a break on a lot of things though. Actual adventures can replace a lot of the indulgent bullshit I do though.
It’s a struggle I personally deal with.
I’m in a LTR with a girl 16 years my junior. She has said to me once in the past year and a half “ok dad” sarcastically, also said “that’s boring” to me once too. When she said the “boring” line to me it “triggered me” took my belt out of my pants, bent her over the bed and well, she hasn’t ever called me boring since (the thing is, she wasn’t even calling “me” boring, but my behavior WAS, and she’s such an open book it makes things easy on me. And on the other issue, I made sure that she understood that I might be her “daddy” but I am not her “dad” I’m only her boyfriend and if she ever disrespected me again like that that I would drop her ass and not ever think twice.
The thing is, it doesn’t matter how much of a chad you “think” you are, if you’re on Reddit, you’re more of a beta billy than the most alpha chad she’ll encounter in any given week, it’s inevitable. If you’ve got a job, if you’ve got responsibilities, if you’re going to drive the speed limit (mostly) those are not things that generate tingles, so you have to compensate for that in other ways. Which is ok, Chad is a goal, but no one is ever going to reach 100% alpha behavior all the time, nor would it even be “ideal” for life, because small amounts of civility, social order, rule following, works well to make your life better, which is (imo) the whole point of this red pill forum anyway, the discussion of how we can get the best (sex) life possible with unfiltered conversation with like-minded men sharing similar goals. Breaking routine, randomly having other girls hit on you in front of her, random schedule, there is never a dull moment with me, I’m glad of it, but that’s only because I recognize that dull behavior is repulsive to women and I want to maximize my rewards and relationships and my own life.
I'm gonna be 31 in a few month. Was just dating a girl who recently turned 21(that ended,) went out with a 23yo and thought I was moving up(ghosted,) and went to the bar the other day to have a woman call me over to say her daughter thinks I'm attractive. The absolute prettiest girl I can imagine was sitting there with her friends, then I find out she's with her fraternal twin and they were celebrating their 21st birthday. Somehow, I'm stuck on these young girls. I couldn't have possibly met a younger girl there unless she was working in the kitchen or waiting for a friend/parent outside. At this point, I just had to laugh to myself at the coincidence of it being her 21st birthday.
Was going to say this lolol
Luckily I made it out of this one alive ;)
Many lakes have water quality below the recommended quality for swimming.
This may seem like a party pooper comment but he’s right. Swimming in lakes not designated for swimming can lead to some flat out disgusting side effects.
e.g. Naegleria fowleri. Fun shit
All this right here. Whether she's a plate or LTR, just take her out to do something new. I take my LTR on 2 random-ass dates a month. She stays fresh.
I was reading 30 days of masculinity (great book btw) and it says to take your girl on a picnic.
It rained that day so I ended up doing it inside. Laid a blanket out. Lit mad candles. Made all this good food and when she got home it was all ready. My LtR still talks about it to this day. Be creative and you don’t need to spend mad money either
fuck man thats a sick idea...
man i'd love to hear more shit like this and the post.
Fuck yeah, I even get her to pay for the dates sometimes too.
You know what, I should go out for a picnic sometime. I could use some more sun.
I think a better way to look at this is, I do cool shit all the time, and I bring her along for the ride 2x a month.
That's what I meant really, I just didn't get into specifics.
Date ideas are easy really... I see a lot of guys struggling to keep things fresh LTR-wise. One of the biggest things to keep things fresh is being an adventurous person, a lot of guys fall into routines. This is something even single guys should be doing
Going to a random show, ending up in random cities, trying the new restaurant that just opened up, engaging in a thrilling activity, doing/trying new shit.Really it's a destination with nowhere in mind; Having a fun, stimulating experience is what it's all about.
However, sitting on the couch, smoking weed and watching your favorite movie gets old real quick. Or going to your favorite restaurant, bar, club(you name it). There's nothing more exciting to my LTR when I invite her to a random festival/show.
I've offered this advice to so many guys where their relationship went stale. Just do something fucking crazy and random.
Doing girlfriend-boyfriend stuff with plate...? Interesting...
I understand if she is LTR or LTR candidate but with plate/FB...?
It's plate maintenance. Unless you're looking to fuck her only a handful of times.
Plate maintenance always feels weird when you're not exclusive and you know she's also seeing other people. It's a strange feeling implementing bf/gf/friendship stuff when you know she's also getting plowed by other dudes.
I know y'all gonna jump on me, telling me to become better at sex, but that's not the problem. She took me on vacay with her to her home country a month after meeting just so that she didn't miss me for 2 weeks. As a 6' brunette, career driven Italian diva she used to always be the Dom until she met me. Turned her around and showed her her true nature of being a good little sub, also outside of sex.
Fwb with no strings attached, only sexual meetings, but the sexual compatibility was too good. She developed feelings a few months in until I told her that I was also seeing other people. From that point on she was also seeing other people.
Not a problem for me as I'm emotionally detached. Only problem I'm having is plate maintenance since for me, her meeting others means demotion from friends with benefits to fuckbuddies.
It feels like this is the natural end of a sexual relationship when they inevitably develop feelings. Not being able to secure exclusivity, they resort to also indulging in their possibilities. They want to feel even, so that they can justify losing their feelings if you know what I mean.
This in turn slowly distances both from each other, usually around 6 months after meeting for me.
Anyone got any required reading for more advanced plate maintenance? I know it's easy to find other plates, but some plates offer benefits which are rare to come by (good connections for future jobs, a place to stay in a cool city, daddy issues without too much craziness,...).
Exclusivity is just a term. No matter what you guys are she could always be getting plowed by dudes on the side.
If a plate catches feelings, so what? Keep fucking her anyway. When things get too serious for you, dump her. You warned her it was no strings attached.
True, letting her to think that it's more than sex but I don't do that with my FBs. MLTRs are for that.
Who cares what your FBs think? Lol they can be overly in love, it doesn't affect me. I give zero shits about their feelings, they're just sex toys in a sense.
That's your Machvellian style of keeping girls around. I feel sorry for you but keep doing it doesn't bother you.
I prefer honesty even though it means that the plates drop earlier and I have to get more. I don't want to be lying and misleading little bitch which plays mind games. That shit belongs to womens toolbox.
I totally agree, the first person to introduce me to this concept was the late Patrice O'Neal
You dont even have to make her feel good. You just have to make her feel.
Having her angry or sad is better than bored.
Spot on. In my experience my life is far more peaceful and enjoyable with more positive emotions, but each to their own.
Make her love you or make her hate you. Just don't let her be indifferent to you
How do you cheat on the machines at a gaming archade?
Use a crowbar to pry open the machine when no one's watching and steal the quarters then re-insert into the machine for infinite plays...just bullshitting you. Have no idea myself.
Have someone stand next to the basketball hoop on the game and just alley oop the ball to them. Those 300+ scores you always see are never from actual shooting.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpyX5E1tARk
Did you forget Asians exist?
She'll definitely be feeling emotion as you are both being eaten/poisoned/electrocuted/drowned.
This...Where I live, a no swimming sign usually means a dam of sorts is sucking water under
Or in my locals case, brain eating amoebas.
This generates excitement and establishes your alphaness by showing your ability to fight against nature to save your girl. This creates the feelz.
I would rather fight stupidity then fight nature and get killed to give some lame ass girl her dose of feelz.
Haha luckily it was a protected National Park, but yeah, not advising it.
THIS. Thank you.
No matter how much you lift/focus on self-improvement it's unlikely to make you a more interesting person to your girl. Sure, you may become fitter, more "alpha" or whatever, but ultimately, that's all focused on you and not doing anything to address your attitude to the relationship. If a girl has the choice between two Chads, but one is a more interesting person who makes more of an effort in the relationship, she'll go for that one, no-brainer. I think lots of RP guys need to realise that lifting etc only gets you so far- sometimes it's as simple as making your girl feel a bit more excited and appreciated. Throw her some compliments, do something you haven't done before. That's hotter than just being a vain, self-obsessed, women-doubting Chad.
In terms of sexual strategy there's alot of focus on self improvement, lifting etc, which is great.
However none of it can make up for the lack of spark and emotion in a relatonship.
You can be the thickest, Richest, most bad ass man but if you're boring she'll still fuck Tony the Poolboy cos makes he knows how to get her feelz flowing.
and why will it stop with Tony the pool boy? if that 'drive' is in her, it will only be easier to cheat on you the next time... and the next, and the next.
she's the slut. let.her.go. you will NEVER keep her focused on just you if all she's worried about is her feels without giving a fuck about this thing called, "loyalty."
Hyperbole to make a point. But, yes, correct. This is why LTR's are generally not recommended and plate spinning is the best option.
If you do go down the LTR road however, vet vet vet vet, cant say it enough to avoid slutty woman.
If you want loyalty get a dog. There's certain things that will make her more loyal(like evoking feels) and certain things that won't (like not evoking feelz)
loyalty was in "quotes" for a reason.
I'm not going to live my life dancing and peacocking for a woman bc i need to help her excited... just so she doesn't do what her nature (and personality) drive her to do.
this is my life... I'm on my journey. if she wants to roll, join the party, but she's gonna be in my life like i want her to be... not how she demands. and i won't be driven out of fear that she will stray.
fuck her. if she wants to go... then go. life itself will create the drama she may need to get her feels, but it's not my job or purpose to keep her entertained bc she's bored.
start dancing... she'll keep you dancing.
Explained it multiple times but I'll do it once more. It's not for her. And It's certainly not so she doesn't cheat. It's for you. To enjoy your relationship more. To do fun shit that you enjoy doing, and make her a part of it. More of this leads to a happy, loving, caring woman, who is less likely to cheat.
I specifically said in the post that It's you who should lead. So exactly what you're saying, Your journey(you leading) and her being a part of it, and having fun together. Once again it's not to avoid her cheating. It simply comes as a result of this behaviour.
Agreed. I'm not implying to use this behavior to "keep" her. Simply to derive more joy for yourself.
Sure, but if you've decided to get into a relationship with her, the feelings she feels has a direct impact on her realtionship with you. Wether you decide to give a fuck about that is up to you.
Not if you lead, It's you dictating what happens, she merely comes along for the ride.
Lastly I'm not saying anyone has to do this, or even should do this not sure why people get so triggered.
Im simply saying what the results will be IF you decide to do. It's people on the internet, I truly don't give a shit what they do.
Thank you for this post, I don't understand why so many people on this sub put so much time and effort into stuff like how "how to evoke emotion in her". That shit is just pathetic. You do what makes you happy and what excites you. If you have drive and ambition and excitement and happiness, that will rub off on her. She lives in your world. Stop worrying about how to excite her and worry about what excites you.
Seriously this shit is so backwards from the RP I have been reading for a few years. It took a bit of scrolling down to find some reasonable conjecture.
This comment is an extremely hard pill to swallow
It is THE pill to swallow, though.
You are forgetting the key to a relationship in which you are putting forth effort. That is the fact its up to the girl to notice or realize you are putting forth the effort. You can do everything right but if she is insisting you aren't, then nothing can save you.
ahha such a disappointment to read this comment.
you started off well but lost yourself in the middle. You lift, work hard, read and all that shit for you. It doesnt take you anywhere. Its just who you are. There is nothing like more "Alpha" or less "Alpha". You just become a better person day by day.
So what actually happens is she is wooed by your outerself. Your frame , both physical and mental. As you start meeting her regualarly she starts dissecting every layer of your being. If at any layer she finds a weakness. She goes away.
Be a man, be who you are and that doesnt mean be an asshole that you are. Improve, every layer of your being should be interesting.
This will not only help you keep her but will make you the person everyone at work or school wants to hang out with.
THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS. THIS.
My cousin taught me this in a really simple way.
I visited him in NY and he took me to this really nice French bakery, super nice.
I offered to buy some macaroons or a cupcake as a gift since we were planning to meet up with his LTR gf. He told me no, but he said it in a way that made me think. He told me "We'll get her something else, I take her here all the time so it wouldn't be special to buy her a dessert from here"
We ended up buying some cheap oriental snacks from an Asian market for her (which she was super happy about). He knew that those cheap snacks would invoke more emotion and appreciation than a fancy dessert from a overpriced bakery she's been to many times before.
The key reason all this stops in an LTR is because guys start off doing anything to impress her and eventually get exhausted pretending. You should do the adventures you actually want to do and naturally find the girl that is compatible with this for a LTR.
This often takes more work and requires some discipline in the initial stages. When dating you may meet extremely attractive women that realistically you should next because she will not like your adventures.
If your idea of a fun adventure is ski mountaineering and hers is wine tasting it might be possible to introduce her to your world, but you need to be honest are you the leader she needs? Will one of you always be miserable or compromising?
Relationships should not be hard work. Everyone says they are because so many people don't shop for real compatibility.
This is what be yourself advice really means. Yes you must be the bringer of adventure, but make it your adventure.
men fall into comfort... women fall into bigger dress sizes.
men get 'lazy' and quit the "action dating," which is what you're advocating, women get lazy and get bigger and bigger... which can kill attraction. when they get comfy, the bj's cease and the eating begins.
it's good to get out and about, but the more you do it, the more she'll want. my true test for ANY woman is the following: without tv, movies, motorcycle rides, trips, etc., can i sit in a rocking chair on the patio and engage in a deep, meaningful conversation with her without getting bored or without wanting to pull my hair out?
You don't have meaningful, deep conversations with children. Women are children. You have those conversations with your closest boys, with smart people. You don't have them with the chick you're banging. Her "universe" is her phone: her top option being the sun, her fall backs are planets, and the asteroids and comets are her beta orbiters. Might want to stop projecting male values onto your women, it'll be easier to see who they are that way.
I'm familiar with the "women are children" mantra... in their behavior. but i don't consider an educated woman, with a master's degree, to be considered or treated like a child, when we are discussing our lives and/or other topics.
let's not act like women are childish & dumb and can't be logical when they need to be. some are highly intelligent and well spoken.
at the same time, let's not pretend that some of our male friends aren't boneheads that can't speak on anything except mud riding and deer hunting. a penis doesn't qualify anyone for being intelligent and being able to hold a conversation.
i don't deal with dumb broads just bc they look good. i can get any woman to satisfy my sex drive... but not many can stimulate me after the fucking has stopped. so i screen for intellect as well as physical.
you do as you please.
again... they are the biggest teen in the house, but let's not act like they're not to be expected to act above childhood behavior. when they go there, you either tolerate it, excuse it, or get her to act like an adult. i know it's coming... i think it's cute... but that's not an excuse for her.
I agree and I just have to realize now that the one I'm seeing now is a party girl and may in fact simply live to drink and go out and drink. I once I asked her a hypothetical 'what if' question and got the most meh ever. I asked her if she fell into a windfall of 2.5 million or 250 million dollars, what kind of business would she start? Her answer could have been any dream business, or even a non-profit which is technically not a business, but whatever.
The point was for her to proclaim her dream ambitions in the event that money was no longer an option. She just simply said that she didn't want to start a business. She simply said that she would just rather work and have just enough to live and have fun. Fine. Great. I wasn't asking because I think everyone has to want to use wealth to exponentially grow wealth. I was hoping to catch a glimpse into her enterprising dreams and interests. I wanted to see her creative juices flowing. Perhaps I didn't lead her into enough 'feelz' for her to answer in a more fun and imaginative way.
To be fair, the only time you should get deep with her is when you're deep in that pussy
ok. when it's time to talk about getting married, having kids, finances, where to live and work, where to retire to, who will i have those conversations with... bubba and big earl?
those are life changing decisions and they'll be discussed in-depth with the woman I'm spending my life with as a partner.
women are LIKE children... they aren't actual children. respect them as equals... treat them based on their actions.
I agree that it's what you need to do to keep them around but at some point you also have to ask yourself "Do I really WANT to do all those things, just to keep her around?" All that "going on an adventure" stuff is boring as fuck, if you ask me.
I would much rather spend 90% of my time with the boys (without her), workout (without her) and work on my career (without her).
I think the point is where OP says don't ask her what she wants to do, do what you want to do. The argument would be that if you can't find things you want to do that are exciting, then you are probably not a very fun person.
I say this as someone who falls a bit into the "not fun person" category as I tend to enjoy the simple things of life and have never really been an adventure seeker.
Spot on.
And that's fine, each to their own.
My best friend (Chad himself) and I learned a long time ago to never invite women out with us when we go chill. We never have nearly as much fun, as it alters the dynamic.
Also, once you've smashed a girl enough times, the thrill is gone and you realize that many women are very, very boring as compared to guy friends.
Good point here. It is important to spend time in a variety of ways with her, experiencing new things together, but you also need time to do your own things. I think women often get bored with guys who have nothing else going on in their lives. He’s always available, he’s not independent, and he doesn’t pursue anything outside of her. This kills attraction very fast.
100%, I didn't want to deviate too much from the point and wrote it assuming everyone is following/read the rest of the priciples on here.
But yes, this certainly shouldn't be all the time, aslong as it features somewhere in the relationship.
Valid points, for me it comes naturally to do a lot of these things, I find it entertaining, I end up enjoying the relationship a lot more.
I certainly don't do it with every girl I'm banging. It's more often than not women I enjoy spending time with (otherwise I wouldn't be FWB/LTRing her - Vetting process)
Ultimately it's not for her, it's for me, me wanting to do something (wine tasting, road trip) and having this little excited person to do it with. Plus I enjoy the results of having a loving, caring, sexual partner.
Personal preference. And nothing wrong with it.
If your hobbies are something that girls actually find entertaining that obviously helps you out a lot.
Do you actually like hanging out with women?
I haven't found one yet, that I actually enjoy spending time with outside the bedroom. I'm 33 now and have been through my share of women, so it's not like I don't have any experience.
It feels like I have to force those things into my life, which obviously makes them feel like a chore and in my opinion not worth wasting my time on, even if it gets me higher SMV women.
I'm 23 and I feel like I'm at that point where you're at . After a string of broken relationships and unending women cascading all through right from 16 has left me feeling like it's not worth the effort anymore.
Yeah sure, although I even take mine to the golf driving range occasionally, I put sexual things on the line if she holes putts, I do the golf teacher pervert thing and rub on her ass, golfs about as boring as you can get, but she's happy to be spending time with me and I make it fun. Sure I wouldn't want her there every time, but it's a fun day out.
Ultimately it's about being present and enjoying the moment with her.
On a broader scale no, I'd rather watch paint dry
But my LTR's are women I enjoy spending time with (thats how they made it to LTR)
And that's no problem, It's not a one size fits all, each to their own.
You forgot to mention, how came that you are unable to keep them for long.
Feeding her emotions is a must, but not enough.
And if LTRs are nothing but plates, then why GAF.
My goal is never to keep an LTR. I'm a horny bastard and simply can't settle with one woman/vagina. This has caused the breakdown of all my LTR's.
They were all very happily invested and still contact me to this day, often complaining how their current relationships are so dull in comparison.
Correct, its one of many factors
LTR and plates are different. I do it because I enjoy it, it's more fun for me, and ends up being more fun for her.
Emotions are like cocaine to women. A FWB and me compared the ranges of emotions we feel throughout the day, I told her my emotions dont often shift during the day, and I dont feel a variety of emotions. To this she responded "How boring!". Remember, women would rather (temporarily) feel "bad" emotions than to feel no emotions at all. Dont be afraid to troll her, pull pranks on her, put her in her place etc etc. Comfort kills tingles.
I disagree with the tone. This is too close to, "Be the best dancing monkey for her and she'll be so entertained she won't notice any of the other dancing monkeys." Rollo literally just did a post about recasting TRP for the feminine perspective.
Be the best you that you can be because it's what's best for you without regard to others. IDGAF.
She cheats because she isn't yours it's just your turn.
I think you missed OP's point.
"Be the dancing monkey" is putting your attention on her ("I will dance for you, so I keep the relationship fresh!"), while OP is advocating putting your attention on life, while your LTR/FB is just alongside you, sharing the experience with you.
Couldn't have said it better myself.
I appreciate it. Having said that, what do you think about men who are more introverted? Men who enjoy doing something more calm/easy going. They are not evoking emotions in their LTRs, so they are less likely to have LTRs?
I would recommend they go for a introverted girl.
Calm/easy going can still be fun.
Ultimately no one has to do anything, they can be calm introverted and will probably evoke less emotion in their women, but she may be fine with that. Anything is possible.
But on the larger scale the majority of woman going through a multitude of emotions will build a stronger attachment to their guy.
No one was born introverted. You have control over who you want to be in this life and your mind is always down for personality renovation just takes a change of habits and attitudes. check out james marshall.
I didn't miss his point at all, his ultimate point was not "be fun" it was "if she cheats, it's your fault." Yes, he makes other points as well, but that was the crux and selling point of his post. That is why he starts his post off with:
She cheats, because it's in her nature. Full stop. It is fundamentally wrong for men to assume responsibilities for women's nature. Attempting to do so is anti-TRP.
One of many advantages TRP has, is that it's trying to explain things. "She cheated because it's in her nature, full stop." doesn't explain the root cause of why she cheated. Woman's natural behaviors are such because they are (or were) needed to survive. So the next question, as you quoted from OP's post, is:
Saying "because it's in her nature" doesn't answer these questions (particularly the last one).
It's not assuming responsibilities, it's explaining their nature.
So it's a hate speech, huh? Where have I heard that before.
Hamster detected. Nice twist at the end
Feminism has this term victim blaming. Where a woman can basically go out in a thong to the most dangerous neighbourhood in town and if she gets raped, it's not her fault. It's wrong to blame the victim.
Sure It's wrong that she got raped, but we have to be aware that there was a ton of things she could have done to avoid getting raped. Like wear some clothes. Go to a nice neighborhood
So sure if she cheats it's wrong, but theres a ton of things you can do that would make her far less likely to cheat like...."be fun"
TRP is entirely about taking responsibilty for your actions and what you could have done differently.
Just going ah AWALT, Hypergamy and taking zero reflection on your own actions that led to that situation is anti-TRP
Exactly.. Show her that they are an interest of something more than her, life.
Never make your holder of happiness fall on a girl's lap. Show your you can have an exciting time with her or without.
Agreed. To a point. Imo there's a difference between being the dancing monkey and making the most out of your time with her. Especially if you're the type to ltr. Not only do you have a better time and have more stories and etc. But you become the bar by which she measures future engagements by. I know for a fact that my ex wife regularly compares her current husband to me and he is continually lacking. No real benefit to me directly, but endlessly entertaining when I hear about if via still mutual friends.
Not the message I'm conveying at all. I'm simply stating what behaviors yield what results. I do it for me, not her. Im certainly not saying anyone has to do it either, each to their own.
My LTR's are already people I enjoy spending time with (If not she shouldn't be LTR).
Commented further down but for me it comes naturally to do a lot of these things, I find it entertaining, I end up enjoying the relationship a lot more, plus it yields a woman who is loving, caring and sexual.
It's more of me wanting to do something (wine tasting, road trip) and having this little excited person to do it with.
TL:DR Of it is If your'e boring, she's most likely going to be bored too. Being with a bored woman is not fun(bad sex, moody etc), and she'll probably branch swing. If you're going to Invest time in a relationship, may as well have fun and enjoy it, while evoking emotion in her.
This is where I completely disagree. It's her nature to be hypergamous. However there's definitely factors that increase or decrease the odds of her cheating on you, not just because "it's just your turn".
This! It's important to do fun shit with her, but a man is his mission and his pursuits, not her entertainment center.
Tbh I think my best moments were when I was doing things I wanted to do anyway, regardless of her existence and brought her along which added to the experience.
True. Do fun things with her for your amusement, not for her and your scarcity mentality
Kinda depressing but the truth .. +1
Agreed. Saying this is anything other than planning activities for her is Hamstering, unless you enjoy things most women enjoy anyway, in which case you just go along with it and mess around.
How many girls would actually like to go work on a car for fun, build something, or participate in a LAN party or LARP? Lol
He cheats because he isn’t yours it’s just your turn.
Yeah, but remember the dynamics.
You need boring to notice exciting things. Only take her to exciting things occasionally. Majority of the time needs to be "boring". That's how you stay unpredictable and she values activities more when they happen.
My ex GF was incredibly happy and excited when I sometimes allowed her to come and spend a night out with me and my friends doing usual "guy things" like playing pool, maybe some poker and splitscreen multiplayer "party"videogames, see some gig etc.
Correct, this shouldn't be every time you leave the house, as long as it fits in somewhere in your relationship.
This. I don't do fun and exciting things all the time. I bought my LTR a gift recently when I was on a trip and I couldn't believe her reaction when I gave it to her. It was such a small gift, but she was ecstatic at the idea that I got her something because I normally never do.
Yes, it's the potential which exites with occasionally unleashing it.
Like in poker, it's not necessarily the current raise which scares the other player. It's the huge chip stack and potential later raises which make other players think.
This is gold.
I WILL be applying this, starting now. It's common sense, but easily neglected. Thanks for the reminder.
With this advice, going to try one last time to rekindle things.
Go for it, good luck, and most of all enjoy the process.
Thanks. I think it just might work. I certainly want it to.
For all her faults (they arent many) she hates shopping, refuses to have a credit card balance, only using the one for a discount and paying it off each use. She works hard, makes very good money and will watch a Superhero/Action movie marathon over romcoms any day.
And she is both attractive, and intelligent. So maybe she is just bored. And that could be on me, to be honest. Time to get to work, before I give up...because I could do worse.
How about I just replace her with a new plate and skip a ton of effort and work that will have NO long term effect.
The best option, however if you do go down the road of being invested in a woman, this helps.
Although this is not meant to be a ton of effort. It's meant to be fun for you, and by virtue, for her too.
Invest in a woman.....Like alimony, palimony and childsupport those kind of investments?
No, an LTR.
An LTR by definition is being invested in a woman.
And statistically speaking you have about a 50% chance of having to pay alimony, palimony and or child support if you get into an LTR with a woman.
yOU CAN HAVE AN LTR WITHOUT HAVING CHILDREN. THEYRE PRETTY COOL
If you have kids yes.
Which is why I said best option is spin plates.
I so wish I could...
I just LTR'd a girl again. I had four active plates, two of which are hotter than the girl I LTR'd (by a half point or so).
I didn't want the LTR to happen, recognized the oneitis creeping up so that's when I added the hotter plates...
It didn't help at all and I still ended up in LTR anyway.
Why? I don't get it
wtf? How about you start by taking ownership of your actions and acknowledging that you agreed to be in an LTR with this chick. Wtf is wrong with you?
Right, obviously.
I'm saying why would I decide to LTR a girl while spinning multiple plates? I'm in a place in my life that being single is a lot more fun, so intellectually, I don't want to be in an LTR - but still did it anyway.
Everything here says the cure to oneitis is fucking new girls.. So I kept fucking new girls while still spinning the girl I just LTR'd but it didn't make a difference. It just started making me feel like a piece of shit to everyone involved.
well you decided because you've got oneitis. I'm not an EC so I can't speak on what to do if it's that bad, but you're pedastalizing this girl. LTRs that won't lead to marriage and kids (which they shouldn't unless kids are your goal) are completely pointless because they serve the same function as just plating your main plate. In an LTR it's understood that you have committed and therefore given up your agency, which is your most valuable resource and take away that made her attracted to you when you were a plate. LTRs are just main plate on hard mode, and marriage is main plate on suicidal.
I guess my issue is, doing this for yourself doesn't make sense if you have to lead her by the nose to figure out how to enjoy life. There's a breakoff when it stops being fun and starts being like trying to introduce a child to the world all the time.
I am pretty sure a great deal of guys on this forum have tried a variety of these things, and what happens is that the woman's expectation is that we always do that for now on, for ever and ever, to relive that first moment we drunk fucked, and her only obligation is to 'wait'...wait to be drug along. It's exhausting and makes the woman boring as a relationship can't ever grow if it's kept there with dragging one person around, and trying to kid ourselves that it's for us, or for me.
I suppose the answer is to move on when normal time isn’t enough. I agree. It’s why I have more of a MGTOW take on how much I want to invest in entertainment to keep a woman’s attention.
Does it ever stress you out to try and come up with some fresh and new ideas?
How does this balance, ratio wise, with the random days you just chill at your place or at hers?
Not at all, I literally come up with something I want to do, and then call her and tell her "Hey we're doing ....." on friday.
I do something fun at least once a week, sometimes more(Single or in an LTR im active once or twice a week doing something fun) and chill maybe 2 or 3 days
Even when we chilling it's alot of fun, we cook naked, drink wine, climb on the roof and catch a sunset.
But it's boring to go for a short hike. It's boring to go wine tasting. Definitely boring in a gaming arcade.
"It's not the activity that matters, it’s how you do it"
Yes, I know. Just pointing it out because I'm an asshole. Man, I hate wine.
In my whole life, I have known maybe 3 women who were worth going to all that trouble for. And they're all married.
By far one of the best posts/discussions on the RP. The main takeaway from this is to to chase success, do what the fuck you want to do, and bring her in to your world. If that doesn’t work, MOVE THE FUCK ON.
As you've said, the focus must be on you.
Don't sit wondering 'what would be fun, what would she like to do'? That's bullshit that puts the focus on the girl and bases your happiness and success on external circumstances. Do your own thing, trust yourself to have your own fun and if anybody's not into it, fine, they don't have to take part. There's no guarantee that she will enjoy what you enjoy, but if she doesn't - great. Now you can part ways and spend time having fun with someone more suited to you.
To paraphrase pook: Don't lose your inner child.
Your inner child.
Ok, I get it, and that's way I usually prefer MGTOW. I'm not a playground with infinite toys, nor want to be. If she want new and fresh things, she has to make her own plans. I'm not will spend my mental capacity just to stay with a fundamentally broken being. You know, I don't play video-games, bla bla bla. But if she only have fun for 2 years, of 1, or even 1 week or day, so be it. It isn't fault of anyone if someone see only boredom about the world. That's the point of spinning plates. Some will stay longer, some will not stay at all.
Just don't build moral and emotional barriers to restringe their desire or manipulate her will. This will just destroy your own sense of wonder playing psycho.
Diogenes, The Cynic, has a word here. Don't play more than a dog, don't create laws that only leave you further from the gods. Nomos is what people do to lie and stay in prison.
A masters in bullshit only takes 6 years to get, especially when all of the standards are waived because of your vagina. Women are not, and have never been, as smart as men and thus attempting to have some deep philosophical conversation with a child is fruitless.
This. So weird. Know some really smart women. They slip into solipsism soo quickly, even when discussing philosophical ideas.
Summary: Engage in spontaneous adventurous activities and bring the date with you .
Very good article. Women crave excitement and the things that are unexpected. Surprises like children hehe
This post was fire. LTR long game in a concise package.
This is a fallacy. The state of this sub... Oh boy.
What OP is saying? Yes, it's true. And yet, I want to warn all of you guys because a certain message has been lost in the transmission of the recent wave of posts:
The right choice (for yourself) does not always mean the girl will somehow be more loyal or attracted to you. It does not guarantee it at all. You might do everything right and she still shows you just how out of your control she REALLY is. It may not matter whether you think you did the right thing or not.
OP seems to suggest that if you 'like' this girl and do a lot of things for her to "feel alive", which in itself may be the start of a oneitis, you somehow get loyalty points. YOU DON'T.
You have to stay vigilant and remember she is never yours, it's just your turn. What instantly comes to my mind when I see OP is the old TRP classic that I re-read every few months to keep reminding myself that these hoes ain't loyal:
TL;DR
Don't you ever think that a girl will keep trying hard to stay loyal and not disappoint you, NOT EVEN IF YOU DO EVERY FUCKING THING RIGHT.
That's the reminder from me.
Big facts, these hoes ain't loyal, and the prevailing opinion these days seems to be that it's productive to go NAWALT hunting. That only leads to heartbreak and disappointment, it's futile. You have to go into every approach, every interaction, every date knowing "If she breathes, she's a thot." They can and will go feral at any moment. Stay safe.
I thought I was losing my mind reading this post and most of the comments.
There a certainly things you can do that will make her more attracted and loyal, and there's certainly things you can do that will make her less attracted and loyal (This entire sub is based around that)
Ofcourse not, no one is suggesting that
True, which is why TRP proposes spinning plates and not an LTR, but if you do go into an LTR it's recomended to vet as deep as possible (another thing you can do to make her less likely to cheat)
Missed the point, it's not for her, it for you, the by product is her "feeling more alive
A term for newbies to not be so butt hurt about cheating.
Any EC will tell you that you need to take responsibility for your actions, they have a direct effect on the behavior of your woman (Again, a base point of this sub)
Well that's right. But certain actions will yield better behaviors from her and other actions will yield worse behaviors from her
Amen brother. I find myself visiting less and less, the quality of posts has gone downhill, it's infested with ignorant comments, upvoting and brigading, but mostly because the lack of real red pill posts and comments. Or maybe it's just too much noise.
While this post has some good points, it just screams "dance to her tune" too much. That if you just make her have emotions enough, you have nothing to worry about. If an NFL quarterback moves next door to you, and decides he wants to plow your wife, you can evoke all the fucking emotions in the world out of her, but it's still going to happen. Throw some dread in there, maybe not. And other options.
Great link, and excellent reminder.
Not going to lie, one of the reasons I dislike seeing all of these “fixes” to stuff. Is because it just seems like
1 spend more money 2 spend more time 3 lose more opportunity 4 learn more 5 focus less on you/career 6 lose lose lose....
halt for what?
Hard to not see these as massive effort, cash, and emotional pitfalls.. seriously what is the point of this again? To keep her interested? I have an LTR and I don’t necessarily agree with this.
Here is ... not a superior idea but perhaps a bolt on. Calculate and keep track of what you spend in time and effort, record shit tests, and cash spent. Her mind calculates on you, calculate on her... blowjobs slip, reduce dates, talking increases without her doing the things you want block her number for a day.
She breaks up with you, who cares. Actually, who gives a shit.
She tries to raise the price of flirting, sex, shutting her mouth and doing as you say in general...
Subtly reduce texts, attention, dates, cash spent, nights slept over, times you compliment her (if at all), and eventually loyalty - yeah fuck other women eventually. I mean, why wouldn’t you? You literally just read a post about how “it just happened” is what she thinks... so... be a man.. MAKE shit happen.
She subconsciously tries to raise the $ price... cut her the fuck down, slowly, while you smile.
Worth a shot.
I feel like the best point in this is the lost opportunities. We all know someone who gave up everything for their wife or ltr, odds are pretty damn good that relationship will not last forever or stay fun for both parties. Then what once you gave up all your weekends for your girl and haven't went out with the guys in years and got rid of your hobbies, you literally have nothing left. Great comment.
Thank you, you put it more succinctly than myself. I am finding it, over time, more “disturbing” that I am thinking of ways to keep things interesting-instead... wanting to not have this as a part time job and just work on me.
Yeah, OP's post seems like it is placing women above men and it is the man's responsibility to keep things exciting. If you start a relationship like that you can bet your ass if you go through a rough patch or life intervenes and you cannot keep up the excitement bar you set then you will get left asap.
Right thank you. I am operating from a strategy that is sort of like this “game theory” bet on you, grow you, she leaves you crush it anyways. Bet on you and your success and your strength, she likes it - great.. cool! She doesn’t ..then you aren’t hurt. It’s literally the only mathematically optimal choice I see in this whole marketplace/game. It’s the least risky... and has the most reward. Other strategies ie: be interesting and stuff... cost you.. and upside? Keep your own gf... sorry I would rather seek a better strategy lol.
Sometimes i feel like some old mathematician locked in a room writing formulas trying to figure out women. Good comment ty
Doesn't have to be, hikes, beaches, wine tasting all fairly cheap. The point is do something fun/exciting, that you'll enjoy and by virtue so will she.
Doesn't need to be more time, simply when you have time.
If you're not losing money and time you're not losing opportunity
Same as above
No, it's meant to be things you find enjoyable. She'll be be more interested as a result, not the reason for it though. Overall point is how to ignite her "feelz" which will leave you with a happier, more caring and loving woman. Never a bad thing.
I’m not disagreeing with you, so much as trying to add that... there is basically a baseline cost of her.. which is vomit worthy if she is not doing EVERYTHING you say.
Reality of cost: Post secondary education male**
Own place (20,000+ a year) Car... or cash to travel Career - cost in mind and soul Going out for drinks and dinners I’ve calculated it’s legit $200 a month or so, so 2400$ annually
Essentially concluding: -$40,000 just to be baseline “cool” enough to date. That’s roughly about it, which means you actually have to make far more than that (taxes). Also her eyes are what determines what is normal or cool, so you can light her fire by being a fun guy, but when it comes down to it if she sees friends getting married, having a nice house, or a dude who has more expensive things... she won’t “think about the money”.... but she will be more ‘attracted’ to these fun, and care free guys, who ... essentially can afford to be. I genuinely believe there is a certain “income level” where you shouldn’t date. There is no point you just can’t compete. Sometimes I consider myself just on that borderline or slightly above it. Either way it’s very exhausting actually.
So basically most of this is really just being wealthy enough to have a girlfriend.
If I want to save $$$ and work more which makes me a happier person- it logically concludes (unless you just dump or spin plates) that you just have to basically calculate and crackdown hard on her 24/7. But once again.. why do that? If you can return more cash $$$ for your time.
In the age of gynocentric laws at every level of government, metoo, and yes means yes, even remotely wealthy mean (80k/year+) shouldn't be dating. A plate or LTR can accuse you of rape, sexual assault, or domestic violence at any time, for any reason, and 9/10 times she's going to walk away with cash and prizes and leave your name and career in ruins. The richer you are the more likely you are to attract gold diggers who literally aim to do this. Gotta be careful guys.
Totally agree, 100%.. but what I’m saying is that if you are doing this, respect your damn self. Calculate shit. Guarantee your frontal lobes can hypercrush her “subconscious” calculators and frankly... it’s not that hard... and it saves you time. How much would you pay to save time? Trick question you should say “everything!”.
A spreadsheet doesn’t protect you from false allegations, having your name dragged through the muck by the media, and a conviction based on a case with no evidence and a willful lack of due process. Don’t need to crunch numbers to know that’s a dangerous prospect
Peform for your woman and she will stay. Dance monkey, dance! You dont want to loose her, do you Mr.Wanna-Be-Chad?
No. Just no. If a woman wants to be with me, she will. If not, screw her. I am going to live MY life, the way I want to live it. I am the prize, remember?
You are so deep in your girl's frame that you don't even know which way to go to get out. Have fun being your girl's little entertainment bitch. Ill be enjoying my time doing what I want.
On the one hand, good for you for trying to live life on your terms. On their other hand, enjoy being cucked by the guy willing to do what you won’t
Why do I give a shit who she fucks? If she wants to fuck someone else, next. She is just a bitch and there are plenty of new bitches out there.
Thing is that ich probably isn't even in an LTR in the first place because he should be spinning plates. If she fucks just him, fine. Five other guys? Who cares, as long as she's clean. Why's everyone so anxious to get into LTRs these days? The only functional purpose of LTRs is eventual marriage. Red Pill men don't get married, at least not in the West. You could make a case for Asia or Eastern Europe. So why bother with LTRs? With plates, you keep them for as long as either you or the girl is willing to spin them, and if they fall, they fall. Multiple plates naturally breeds an abundance mentality, reducing chances of oneitis and falling into the traps of LTRs. OP could literally get all of the dates he mentions in his post with a plate, and have the same amount of fun, rather than with his LTR. Hell, his LTR could just be his main plate rather than a committed GF. No point in being in an LTR if you aren't trying to have kids, it's just not efficient.
Exactly. But even if you have kids, you still shouldnt wife the bitch.
The kids will be fine, I am the product of divorce and can bench over 300lbs, deadlift over 450lbs, and squat over 400lbs. I get pussy. I make money. Im self sufficient. Its all good homie.
gonna have to disagree on the kids being fine with a single mom, just purely on statistics. But you're an outlier, like many others, so good for you! The wise man learns both from his circumstances and the mistakes of others.
Good point there. It is written on the sidebar though.
BTW, as you said, guys must understand that they can’t do this for holding girls. If you are already having fun and are determined in life, you will get girls.
I never do things to entertain people around me. Only if I want to have fun, they can join me or viselike. Never be a pleaser guy. I must be accepted as I am. Fuck NO other choices.
Stay rigid and do not bend according to women. Fuck their need of joy.
To some extent yes and to some extent no.
Most of the time you should do things because you want to.
However, if you only ever want to sit at home and go to dinner once in a blue moon you have to be aware that she'll probably get bored and branch swing to someone who does want to engage in more interesting activities.
So why to care about someone that just swaps guys when her enjoyment levels went down? I can’t see a shit personality there. AWALT is true yet she could tell that she is bored about relationship before cheating.
Exactly. If she branch swing as soon as shit gets boring, just let her go. She's not worth it.
Yeah, exactly this, if you're not concerned about losing her, it's a viable option.
Isn't the majour point of the TRP not being concerned about loosing her? Hence building the abundance mentality. Hence everything else. Oneitis it is. This belongs in a different sub.
I get your point but I don't see why all my thoughts should circle around how to be super spontaneous and exciting for her. If she can't accept and appreciate how the average me is on a daily basis, we're anyway not meant to be together for the long run.
Not for her, It's for you, read up in some of the other comments.
Also not meant to be a daily excercise aslong as it features in your relationship.
This is correct and goes for any relationship.
Just broke up with a girl over staleness. I cheated but we weren't officially "dating" yet either. Never told her but the feeling was mutual. Other plates cooled our temp. Was probably dumb on my part but that's definitely why it got stale.
You had me at fuck her on a tractor.
Its funny because girls also post stupid photos and shit that say "All I need is bae, netflix, and pizza" when the reality is that chicks don't necessarily have a clear sense of what they need. Emotional stimulation. Thank you for this post, super helpful.
Wow I have a lot of work to do I mean drinking coffee in a quiet cafe while watching a few cars go by seems fun to me hahahahahaha
How do you entertain a child? Make everything a game and blow it up to ridiculous proportions.
How do you entertain a woman? The same way you entertain a child
My OLTR texted me the other day, “Baby, you make my life interesting.” That’s possibly one of the highest indicators that I’m doing it right that i could have received IMO (aside from the dizzying BJs). We have adventure after adventure. We are always planning the next “big” one (typically trips) but I’ll spontaneously take her camping naked, on a motorcycle ride to fuck in the middle of a park, on an impromptu electric scooter scavenger hunt, etc.
Hell, even including her in the hunt for other woman thrills her. She likes to watch me game them and shares in the sense of accomplishment when I reel in a keeper. The respect and desire dripping from her expressions when our (my) prey hungrily leapt out of bed to gobble my cock... Wew lad. It was like my sperm contained the cure to cancer and her puppy was just diagnosed, and my girl’s face when she saw the new chick do that will be forever etched in my mind. “You clever man” she said in my ear before she resumed occupying her lips with mine.
Long story short bitches get bored of the same dick overtime, especially if they’re not convicted to the resources said dick provides, by being a mother to the dicks children.
Who do you think initiates divorces, and why? Women and because they're bored or found a better option. These hoes ain't loyal, and her kids don't mean shit because she can just collect all of her cash and prizes from her divorce and get to live in her house getting alimony and child support from her ex husband.
Well yeah that’s what my mom did basically. Had 7 kids ran off to be a cougar and get knocked up by a 22yr old at 35 before initiating a divorce. 10yrs later he’s long gone, now the house is being foreclosed and I’m stuck between living on my own or going to college. It’s what women do. Caused my dad to become a degenerate alcoholic earning 25% the income he otherwise would have, left me and most of my siblings down a path where we’ll only reach half our potential. Of course she’s always a victim in her own mind lmao.
POST SAVED. Recently took a plate to the stadium for a soccer game. We fucked inside the family restroom right when the game ended and let me tell you the thrill behind a bunch of people banging on the door waiting to take their kid to the shitter and their faces when we came out was priceless
Okay, but I am a doctor or surgeon. Some months and weeks will go where I work 12-hours-days. How can you always have excitement around real life responsbilities like that?
Doesn't need to be all the time. When you do have time with her, make the most of it.
I think you mean "a part", not "apart". :)
Great post btw. It's an alternative version of saying "I put myself first", and not having your girl in the center.
OP thanks for the great post! I mean it! All the best.
Find new and exciting ways to show her you are interested in her. Make a list of as many things you can. On my list is; canoeing, snowshoeing, crab fishing, day trip to interesting place, outlet mall shopping, bike ride, zip line, dance lesson, outdoor concert, mystery location, spontaneous trip, berry picking. Active things that engage. Forget the boring dinner and a movie. Even bowling is better. The Book of Pook covered this topic well.
OMG that's all I needed to read, thank you very much for this.
Hate to admit this but I needed to hear it. Thanks, mate. Excellent post.
You enjoy tasteful banter at the wine bar with GF. You are GAY!
What if you’re going long-term? How do you find that much stuff to do?
Always new things coming up, I'm very active so it comes naturally.
Look up online what things(activities/events) happen around your area, find some YOU will enjoy, bring your girl along.
Or just don't have a monogamous relationship.
How would any of you guys recommend implementing this within a married couple of 8 years with kids? Would it be as simple as doing the same but less frequently — due to concrete constraints such as having to take care of the kids.
Exactly, try take a day a week where you guys get up to something fun, just the two of you. Can be anything.
Damn this was a really nice post to read, great insight OP! Quick question though: how does a RP man develop a boss personality like you're describing?
That would take a lot longer to explain.
In short, I'm active and naughty by nature. Always doing fun things and getting up to wild things while doing them, I simply include her in this and she loves it.
I guess the best suggestion is to try it, the adventures, the naughty stuff(like banging on a tractor) if you feel alive and enjoy it, keep doing it.
I simply enjoy the rush and by virtue so does she.
So you're telling me women are children? Hmm. Nah she cheats shes gone, not my job to make her happy.
she cheats, you never find out*
Exactly what I needed man. I saw a LPG today that said to ask yourself a set of questions if something bad happened to you. First ask yourself if this is just something that came out of nowhere. Then ask yourself if you are responsible for it in anyway.
Today I found out my ex of 8 months cheated on me. I struggled at work all day thinking about it, was only able to finish half of leg day, and broke out the bottle.
I wish that I was more fun and more adventurous. I got in trouble a while back with the police and was on probation throughout my entire college career. I have stopped taking risks, and I just don’t know how to be the fun outgoing confident young man that I once was.
Thank you for sharing the ways how I can be more fun. I am still struggling with pmo, anxiety, and depression but I know that I can be better. I am trying to work on myself lately and not worry about women. I have no idea if what I am doing is right or wrong, but I have at least found my motive for life so that’s good.
Thanks again man. I needed this post.
This mad great advice thanks.
Is that girl still with you?
I'm like this with all the girls I've been with, but yes I'm currently with one of them.
This is a really good post, been guilty of letting things get routiney and stale too. Corey Wayne also emphasizes on many points you told. Never let the courtship end as he says. Dont get complacent.
I think we should have a pinned post for commenting on all the fun stuff (crazy ideas) people do on dates and with friends . It could be a list to refer for next time you want to plan a dats or a list of adventures to do in life to make life more memorable. Since not everyone is creative in coming up with plans it might be a good starting point.
What do you guys think?
thanks mate, gave me some good ideas :D
While I agree this is accurate. This is also one of the problems with a LTR. If you really are constantly adventurous, then good for you. But at a certain point when you have a job, a house, etc. You usually can't be Mr Adventure constantly either. And the devil's advocate side is this: Aren't you essentially playing into her frame to keep her as a LTR? You're looking for ways to keep her from not being bored up keep her. Is it really that much different than taking her out to dinners, vacations, etc. etc? You're spending your money to keep her entertained so she "doesn't get bored" and fuck Chad.
Not sure if you read that in the post. It's not for her, it's for you. You're making her a part of your frame.
It's not looking for ways to keep her from getting bored, It's dong what you find fun and making her apart of it.
Keeping yourself entertained. The point is YOU shouldn't allow your own life to be a snore fest.(because then you can't really be surprised if a women doesn't want to be a part of it)
Don't have to do things that cost a lot, I'm sure there's plenty things you enjoy that don't cost an arm and a leg.
When you plan to do something fun, do you pay for her? Because it seems quite normal, since basically you invite her, but at the same time she is freerolling any activity and sound like BP.
A lot of the stuff I do is cheap, or cost free. Other than that we pretty much have a one for one system. She benefits by going on fun adventures, therefore she should pay too.
One for one system means you pay one time and the girl the next one? Sry for the language barrier and ty for your reply
I’ve never dated a girl who wasn’t exclusive to me. It just feels like a bold move and if I’m going to be spending time on worrying about who she’s fucking it better me, you know?
If you're the "right" color that is otherwise cuffs will get set in place over slaps.
I understand what the posts preaches, bu does this apply to first dates?
If we are talking about a girl you haven't gone out with yet, doesn't it seem needy to plan for such an adventure and put too much pressure on the girl? Why would she even go on such an adventure with a stranger?
From that point of view, just a coffee and a walk or moving around seems better (at least for a first date, I completely agree with the rest once you are "dating").
Would like to know your opinion on this OP.
I (23F) doing everything I can not to do my partner(25M) wrong... he doesn't seem to understand this. We have been together for 5 years. He treats me very good, cares for me, he is very responsible and trustworthy. He doesn't make me feel sexy at all, doesn't even try, he never wants to touch me... I ask if its me, he says no. Other men find me attractive... why cant he? It is getting to the point where I don't even want to put the effort in to make him or myself feel good. I feel myself getting lazier and lazier.. what is the point? My confidence is so low and it kills me to say it is because of my relationship.
edit:spelling
Been a while since I read such a good post with practical advice.
First use feels for your own advantage.
Second use anything that keeps a beta in a relationship against a woman ie sunken cost, comfort, irregualar meeting of needs.
Basically, become her jesters... Well, guess what, she can have that from someone else.
This simply show, she has not bring anything to the table. Did she ever evoke your excitement. Making you feels appreciated.
Tending her needs all the time. What kind of life is that.
My kind of relationship is where we both can build our own happiness from within, and we simply share that with each other.
And, we abide to our own promise to each other. If I profess my love towards her and she feels the same. That's automatically become a contract between two party.
Love is promise. A contract that bind two souls. This has been lost in the sea of abundance.
People make the option open so that's they can leaves. It's so insulting telling to your partner. Hey, right now, it's all you I can trapped, and of anyone better come along, I'm gonna leave you. That's not love. That's simply greed and cowardly.
And we found a blue pill lurker. Females are incapable of male love. Therefore, they are incapable of the love you want to see from them. Have you even read The Rational Male? Women love opportunistically, men love sacrificially. We'd take a bullet for our wife but she wouldn't do the same for us. Your woman is the first person to give you the knife when you're down. They leave at the first sign of trouble, at the first slip up. A young woman's options are always open, she can get fucked by as many guys as she wants if she's even moderately attractive. Even when she hits the wall, she can divorce rape her beta husband and live off of the exorbitant cash and prizes the state awards her. Women will always be in a position of strength in any intergender relationship in modern society. The trick is whether or not you can trick her and pull her into your frame, into a natural male/female dynamic. However, while this may work for a time, you can't pull the wool over her eyes forever. If you slip up, she'll immediately remember her position and start looking for options. She'll shit test more, and eventually set up the plausible deniability to cheat that we all know so well. AWALT, she's not yours, it's just your turn, and women are natural selectors. They choose who to breed with, the men compete with one another for status and resources in order to be picked by a female. They will ALWAYS have more options than a man in our gynocentric society.
Women always can get benefit from any era. Even under partiarchy.
Trick is that both men and women benefit from patriarchy. Men get women that are generally loyal due to societal controls on hypergamy and women get to raise kids and be taken care of once they aren’t fertile.
That's why under men, women will live better life.
They blame the abuse and misuse power in partiarchy. Which completely wrong.
Under partiarchy, women are protected and provided.
Rollo? I kid, but seriously, your words truly hit me like a slap in the face. Thank you for speaking (y)our truth.
Excellent advice.
This really leads to the next point of advice that I give people and has been covered here:
Would you date you? That's important to remember. If you're boring, girls aren't gonna stick around. Neither will dudes who like to go out and do things instead of sitting on the couch drinking/ smoking / gaming / whatever other sedentary activity. Partying every day in the garage is not gonna do anything for you. Get out there and do something!
Part of TRP training is to make yourself awesome. Always exercise and always do not be lame.
Similar to having a list of exercises to do at the gym. Have a list of cool shit to do that will get you out of the house. Even simply walking around releases endorphins. If you are able bodied, there is no excuse for being sedentary on a regular basis. You should have a menu of stuff to do.
Several girls that I have fucked became boring quickly because all they do is party. This shit goes both ways. If I am not mentally stimulated, I'm not sticking around. They still try to hang out with me often but they're usually a last resort if all my other plans for that day fall through.
Bottom line is being boring is unattractive to anyone. Don't do it.
Ironically, looking back on relationships, the ones that sting the most/invoke the most regret are the ones where we did the most cool shit and went the most places. So this entire plan backfires if the ship sinks, not good.
TL; DR- Why the hell invest so much effort in a naturally duplicitous creature?!
Definitely. Although you should never be in relationship with an end goal.
Be happy that you enjoyed the time together that you did, and be glad it was a fun time.
The alternate option is that you had a boring relationship that ended. That would be a waste of YOUR time.
You are correct. I also dont agree with the post. There is a hidden contract implied: "If I evoke feelz in her she will stay with me and be loyal and I will enjoy hot sex and blowjobs". We know of course that this doesnt work with girls and is no different than being beta provider of feelz (entertainer). I have seen many guys fall for this trap.
Not to mention, having protected sex is worse than having no sex at all. It causes you to risk bonding with the woman (via biological programming), but doesn't have any comparable effect on her (because hypergamy). If she's not willing to risk her only truly irrevocable gift for you, she doesn't love you and you're doomed from day one.
Damn dude. Girl here- definitely can verify. Ya figured it out boys.
This hit the nail on the head
Great fucking post man, delving deeper than the regular “Hypergamy. Next.” comments on these situations.