We see it everywhere around us.
"It's been a hard day. I'll just have a few drinks, sit on the couch and watch tv."
"I have no energy to cook something that sticks with my diet plan. It's a good day to order a pizza and skip the gym"
"My girlfriend dumped me. Probably my fault. I should quit self improvement and take a 3 month depression vacation from my life"
And we all know that group of people who will be there for us when we're down. They're always available to wallow in each other's misery.
Self destructive people always find an excuse for bad behavior. They put their goals on the back burner and lower their standards every opportunity they are given. I'm sure there's some scientific explanation of why stress lowers our inhibitions and creates cravings for carbs, alcohol and nicotine, among others. The dopamine hit from binge watching television. That doesn't matter because we can control these actions. If you really want the best out of life, you need to create structure in your life that fights this effectively. You are supposed to be working towards your goals, not living like a drug addict seeking instant gratification.
The cells in your body give exactly zero fucks about excuses. They just do their job of processing whatever shit you decided to feed them. If you are feeding them protein and vitamins, they will grow muscle. If you are feeding them garbage, they will build a garbage body for you. The human body is like a car. A car that needs premium gas to run properly. Would you try to explain to your car that you were upset one day, got drunk and took a piss in the gas tank? No it's fucking stupid. Stop making excuses for doing the same thing to your body. You can't go out and buy a new body when it breaks down.
Your mind is no different. Stop feeding it garbage. The effects are not something you can pick and choose. Neural pathways are formed and reinforced without your consent. The subconscious mind will fuck you indefinitely. You may be fully aware of what you should be doing but can't stop.
Every time something shitty happens to you, use it as motivation to become even stronger. Don't give in to the voice in your head that says "It's ok, just one little fuck up today.. Everyone will understand.. You earned this" <- Most dangerous part.. You EARNED it. You earned the right to mistreat yourself, to set yourself back.. Instead of working on your education or your business or whatever you really want to do, you "earned" the right to sit on the couch with crumbs on your beard watching someone else live life? Ok, just remember what you earned, when three months from now you have not accomplished your goals.. And remind yourself how it's okay because a lot of other people do it too...
Every bum on the street is not there because they lacked talent or intelligence or ambition. The local bar is full of regulars who had dreams and goals. If you ask them, they will assure you that they still do. Something happened to them and they used it as an excuse to reward/punish themselves with cheap highs or needed to kill the pain instead of facing things head on. Over time the habits take over. If you think there is some huge gap between them and you, you're mistaken.
It's small choices that separate losers from average, and average from winners. It's a series of seemingly insignificant decisions that add up over time.. They sneak up on us in the span of years.
Do you really fucking want it? We all say we do, we all want that next level lifestyle. Then life throws a curve ball and it can either be an opportunity to rise to the occasion and prove yourself worthy of what you want or justification for why you lost.
This does not mean never enjoy life. Or never take a break. The point is to be aware of temptation and Decide to make better choices that are in your long term best interest so you have something to show for your trouble, in spite of your problems, instead of another sad story.
This is great motivational material for people giving only what's necessary to make it, to go the extra mile.
Of course it won't work for people with severe addictions (=diseased brain that can't be simply reverted solely with will power).
Yes
Unfortunately will power is one of the first things to go with severe addiction, which changes the actual structure of the brain.
This is more of a wake up call for the rest of us. Your average, functional brain will chase short term dopamine release instead of long term fulfillment and goal realization. It will use any excuse and things that are socially acceptable against us. We have to be vigilant not to fall into the traps that set us back
And will power can be built again. For the last two days I didn't sleep well and didn't feel like going to the gym at my usual early morning time. So I got off the bed, sat in the chair. Then I got up to Switch on the big white light in the room. Then I told myself to go to the bathroom. Then I told myself to just put on the gym clothes. And then to walk to the lift, press the button and lo and behold, I was on the ground floor.
Now that I am here, might as well make the 10 min trip to the gym. That's how I fool myself every time I don't "feel" like going to the gym.
How does one develop a severe addiction in the first place?
Video games - false sense of achievement. Live vicariously through your character's accomplishments rather than your own life. Waste your masculine energy by utilizing your competitive instincts, aggression and leadership to coordinate raids/PvP rather than in real life.
Porn - Same as above. Self-cuckoldry.
Televised sports - Wearing another man's name on your back? Saying "we" for your hometown, as if it was an actual group identity of people that cared about you.
Some men watch porn, sports, do video games without issue, but they easily become addictions for guys with no actual outlets for their masculinity (i.e. fucking and fighting)
Oxytocin addiction. Put it in quotes because that’s actually physiological. Same for brands.
Correct. it is so normal that virtually noone understands this. I never liked the bleachers. I'd rather sit on the bench.
Drugs like alcohol, crack, heroin, etc, make you feel good. Life is hard and things happen that make you feel bad. It’s easy to get severely addicted to anything that makes you feel good whenever everything around you is hard and making you feel bad. That’s why poor people suffer the most from addiction.
When you start escaping from your problems by engaging in shit that gives you a short term dopamine hit. Weed and cigarettes for me.
bs. shot dope iv for 6 years. quit cold turkey for grad school.
Echoing this because it’s a great point.
GF left me about 2.5 years ago. I was 260lb, depressed, and struggling to get my business off the ground.
The night I moved into my new place, I remember laying on the mattress (still on the floor because I had to put the frame back together) crying a little bit. Then the thought crossed my mind:
You have two options. Lay here and be sad or pick yourself up and go put your shit together. I got up, went to the living room, and put the new cover on the couch I bought.
From that night on, whenever I felt weak I just said to myself “remember what you did the first night. Do that again and again and again.”
Even when you feel fucking miserable, do the thing that you know will make your life better in the future. Be conscious of when you’re just moping around. Don’t beat yourself up, but don’t be a pussy—go get what you want out of life.
It’s been a hard road, but I’ve dropped 100 lbs, put on muscle, have a nice place, a new car, and my business is killing it.
Never, ever give up. Even for a night.
This is exactly the kind of thing I am talking about. Thanks for sharing
This is so relevant and everytime I go through a breakup (that is not my fault ---> infidelity/ghosting), then I watch this to get me out of the dumps:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmr3a7MTtGw
"Love is a 4 letter word, but so is curl"
"It's Gains'o'Clock Motherfucker!"
Made my Friday.
After swallowing the pill I was so angry and disgusted. I was such a naive people pleasing nice guy and an overly zealous evangelical Christian. I spent the ages of 17-27 giving 15-20 hours a week of my life to Christian activities. Doing things that I thought were valuable and making me into a man only to realize most of it was worthless.
I was angry and disgusted because I realized that I could’ve been using that time to make something of myself. I could’ve been in the gym, getting an MBA, etc etc etc. At the same time I recognized that there were a significant amount of deficiencies I would need to overcome (emotional, physical, etc) in order for me to become attractive to women amongst other things. Fortunately during my epiphany, I simply accepted the brutal truth/reality for it what it is and resolved to work and grow. My frustration was heightened by the fact it would take years for me to achieve this.
I moved to Brazil for work six years ago, about a year after I TRPed. The first two years were hell for a variety of reasons - isolation, no single friends, not able to speak the language. With that said after six years:
I am by no means “Chad the destroyer” or some magnificent “alpha male”, but ive made tremendous progress. My anger and bitterness have long since faded because I’ve made something of myself. I’m experiencing the fruits of hard work and discipline and it feels great. Part of me can’t believe I’ve come this far given who I was before hand.
Pain + reflection + ownership + hard work = progress. Anytime you’re “suffering” be willing to be honest about what you’re doing wrong or could be doing better and resolve to do everything you can to improve it. It may take five years, but if you put in the work you’ll be surprised at what can happen.
What kind of business do you run?
That's a great story. If you haven't already written a more detailed account, I'm sure there are a lot of guys here who would like to hear more about how you were able to do it
There's not a lot too it. I was a bit fortunate in that I was given the opportunity to move to Brazil for work. That doubled my income and gave me some unique opportunities to experience/do things I may not do otherwise.
Other than that, it's just hard work. Diet, exercise, going out to meet women, trying new things, tutor for new language, etc. Boring stuff that just takes a long time. It's a process, the reality is that it may take you one, two, three, five years to get your shit together and figure it out.
You could figure that all out within a week
Yeah and then go back to jacking off. We're talking about actualizing here.
yo man if you're in Rio hit me up
only 15 women after 6 years and you say you pick up women with regular success? lmfao.
You're right, I'm a total loser. I'm going to lay in the fetal position in the shower and cry now.
It took a few years for me to figure it out. I had a few relationships, and I don't particularly care for/feel the need to go out and bang new chicks all the time. My n count certainly could be higher, I'm not interested for notches for the sake of notches but to each his own.
Any man with high testosterone loves to bang girls. Either you're lying out of your teeth to look like you 'daf' or you have really low T.
Low t, small penis, and I'm a mongoloid. Life isn't fair :(
as the goat arnold once said, and i paraphrase: "remember that when you're not doing work, there's someone out there working harder than you to take your spot"
Basically, be stoic. Be comfortable with uncomfortable things to grow a thicker skin.
Bad stuff happen to good people, such is life. When facing adversity we can either take it like a champ (because it’s an opportunity to grow and learn) or feel sorry for ourselves. It’s a matter of choice.
Good post. This kind of material is what draws me to the sub in the first place.
I wrote a post about it a while ago, but I completely agree. We need to embrace the struggle and pain this life is going to bring to us like strong, RP men should do, with decisiveness and a plan of action. Without that, or if you think life is supposed to be easy, life will destroy you. The first mental hurdle every man needs to overcome is that life is NOT supposed to be easy, or a cakewalk. How boring and un-stimulating would that be, anyways. Know that pain and struggle will come, and have a plan of action. Be prepared, and you are already one step ahead.
We need more posts like this on this sub and less about “what I learned by dating this girl” posts
If you enjoyed reading this I highly recommend the charisma myth. Helps deal with negative thoughts.
I'll definitely look into that. Thanks
The ramifications of this statement are incredibly important.
You obviously don't want to pour sludge into the gas tank of your car. But if you've been fueling your car with sludge for quite some time, and you suddenly decide you want to start using higher quality fuel, you have to somehow get to the gas station regardless of how shitty your car is running.
Maybe this means you'll have to get out and push from the back, through the mud and the muck. Maybe there's a hill in the way so you can't see the station yet.
Push anyway. Trust the process.
The whole being fully aware but unable to stop is what I have struggled with.
I switched up tactics to something a bit unorthodox and am a month deep into positive change. Was planning on posting about it in a month or two if my strategy holds and I have seen objective results.
Human psychology can be a bitch.
Got ghosted yesterday by a girl who promised she was going to come out to meet me for no apparent reason... Thanks for the post OP
Destructive alcoholic here: focus on yourself. Don’t judge people that struggle with self medicating. Quite frankly it’s a fight you’re not going to win, convincing people they can just get better with a shift in attitude. You don’t have to understand why people sacrifice everything just to feel some amount of happiness even for an hour. Just don’t act like it’s an obvious, easy choice to make when you’re in that situation.
I didnt hear it in that tone. More like he's remindig us of a way our brains trick us, giving us a tool to be more disciplined.
I don't know man, I think some people who are on antidepressants are looking for the short cut. Sure, some people require it to be able to function properly. But any true lasting change comes with taking bold action and accepting your fears.
As you and I both know. It's beyond that. And most of them are being handed out like candy by brainless bitches in schools.
It's not easy but it's a fight people don't realize they're in until it's too late. Like I said there's not much that separates us all in this matter.. little decisions. I've seen a lot of people die. I wish they chose alcoholism instead of heroin. But there's a whole spectrum. Over eating, procrastination, self sabotage. I'm drinking while writing this. It's not to avoid pain, though, as it once was
Yeah I know you’re coming from a good place man. Just tickled my self destructive pickle I suppose.
I will try. Negativity is one of my biggest vices.
Good luck to you as well
If you keep saying poor me...eventually you'll be saying pour me another drink
I don't write anything that isn't directed to myself, in one way or another
Thanks OP, I really needed this. 28 years old, and while I achieved my dream of becoming a registered occupational therapist and going through the challenges of grad school (failed out at 24, got back in a different program, graduated, and just recently started working), I realized I’m still not satisfied with my life. I’m not making enough money that I want, my body has lost 10lbs of weight but I’ve hit a plateau, I want to move out of my parents house ASAP, i want to get better quality girls than the usual land whale/thots on tinder. I haven’t been sleeping lately because I’ve been so dissatisfied. I’m constantly looking at places and crunching in the numbers so I can find a place to support myself while pay off my school loans, however I simply need to make more. I have always been an extremely motivated and driven individual, but since I’ve turned 28 recently, I’ve realized I need to actually start living my life the way I want to (make 6 figures, have a rocking body, and date quality girls). Any of the older red pill guys can feel free to give me advice.
Devote to your work so you can earn more from it. Become a good enough therapist that they have to pay you more
Guys, remember to upvote the posts that strike the chord well!
Good stuff.
Life is suffering and full of pain. It will knock you down. Do you give up and bend over to let life fuck you in the ass? Do you lay down and die like a bitch?
Or do you stand up, wipe the blood off your mouth, and move forward with courage in your heart and a grin on your face?
Up to you.
Best analogy I've read in a long time.
Good post. I got arrested six weeks ago for fraud that I committed half a decade ago. It was dealt with in civil court at the time and I have no idea why the police are now involved nearly 5 years later. I'd spent the past 5 years turning my life around, I retrained to a new profession, patched up my marriage and am working hard on my finances. Then this. After the arrest I spent a good month doing what you said, drinking, gaining weight and being average at work. The past two weeks though I've thought 'fuck it, if I'm going to prison I'm going to prison with six pack abs, a good mental state and with all my affairs in order'. This post is good affirmation.
Good luck with all that man. The legal system is a nightmare
Thanks man. I'm in the UK, we're quite famous for having a soft prison system so I'm not too concerned. Trying to chalk it all up to life experience.
That soft prison system can be a bad thing. I remember a documentary where UK prisons were very tolerant of inmates using drugs and that can be tempting, just for the sheer boredom of being locked up. You'll definitely need to avoid that shit like the plague.
Thanks man. You don’t know how many lives you have changed by just writing those words
You're welcome. And thank you for the positive feedback
The biggest lie that we've been fed is that suffering and discomfort are somehow 'bad' and pleasure is 'good'. The reality is very different.
They both have value and both are great teachers.
This is just what i needed to read. Thank you.
Great post. Thanks for this.
I needed this. Thank you.
Since my Internet has been off at home, I've been much more productive and my brain has been much more active. Ideas speak out to me better and the anxiety forces me to get shit done.
More Posts like this are needed here.
This is Jordan Peterson's core message to people in general but young men specifically. It explains why he's grown in popularity in the manosphere despite his blue pill mindset.
He is against economic socialism but favors "enforced monogamy" (sexual mating socialism). No, that's not how it works.
Also, I get that he resonates with a lot of people, but he's WAY out of his expertise and frankly knows nothing outside of a narrow field of social psychology. He wrote some articles on creativity, and, like most psychologists, he disagrees with a plethora of gender names for what is essentially sexual dimorphism, but that's really it.
Don't be a sucker for personalities and con-men. Science is a group effort, not a celebrity death match. (As an example of a leftist, don't fall in love with Neil Degrasse Tyson).
Seriously, asking Jordan Peterson for life advice is like asking your plumber how to explain BDSM to your grandmother: it's none of your business to ask, and none of your plumber's business to assume he's qualified in any way.
I'd go more personal with your heroes. Look at older generations of men, read upon history. Don't go for the rich kids (JFK) or the pre-selects (Obama). Go for someone who truly is a hero.
I have a few but that will take a while. One person I deeply respect is Gordon Parks, who eventually became well-known. But there are the helpers who are never known. I was in Spain once and I met a man who, by chance, was the most giving human I've ever met. Accept his politics or not, he made sure that a pregnant Algerian immigrant (sans-papier) would have a place to live. Two rough kids in the neighborhood, one of whom was in the military, lived in his tiny, rambshackle home. That main painted houses for a living, but he knew what really matters.
Figure that shit out too.
Just pointing out JBP's statements that mirror the OP's post. It's good advice regardless of who gives it.
Suggesting JBP is a con man is ridiculous.
He's not an expert in what he speaks.
Also, he's a socialist... when it comes to mating? "Sharing the wealth" sounds like socialism, if that's your thing. But he wants it for women. That's him.
Society has determined that Capitalism, at a macro level, is the best bet for the society at large. Despite all it's faults, which are many, it's still the greatest wealth producing mechanism we have that seems to work for the greatest number of people.
Society has also determined that a stable 2 parent household is our best bet that reduces conflict and increases stability in the long run.
Peterson has stated that socialism works at the familial level but capitalism works at the societal level. His observation that these are the empirical facts of long term human evolution has nothing to do with whether he endorses one over the other. He is simply pointing out human societal values that seem to work.
The whole 'enforced monogamy' explanation wasn't his idea, he was conveying the conventional wisdom of our learned experience from earlier human development pioneers.
These are observations, not endorsements.
All one has to do is look at the many posts on this forum that recognize the opposite phenomenon. Socialism at the macro level and feminism at the familial level has led us to a precipice.
Why does man seek mountains to climb when he's surrounded by plains? Because in his heart of hearts he knows that the day swiftly comes when he'll be surrounded by mountains, and the only options will be to climb or to perish.
"Every bum on the street is not there because they lacked talent or intelligence or ambition. The local bar is full of regulars who had dreams and goals. If you ask them, they will assure you that they still do. Something happened to them and they used it as an excuse to reward/punish themselves with cheap highs or needed to kill the pain instead of facing things head on. Over time the habits take over. If you think there is some huge gap between them and you, you're mistaken."
THIS*^^^^
I love the post, however different people handle their bad things differently, some have huge resilience while others don't. While resilience can be built, we should always be aware that our upbringing and other series of events could make us stronger or weaker, this is determined by chance. Life don't have the same difficult level for everyone. We should always strive for our best, but luck plays a giant role.
I'm writing this because bums are being discussed... I think these people faced a lot of hardships we just simply can't imagine. And imo, they are a good reminder of how lucky we are overall, because our lives are simpler and more problem free
This is absolutely true.. A person can be born with their mother's addiction, neglected as children, abused, convinced everything is their fault and feel worthy of nothing except pain before they even have a chance to know there is another way. We can't entirely blame people for where they end up or say "just be stronger". However, the majority of people outside of that reality need to be aware of how they react to negativity and take a more active role in making better decisions instead of giving up control so easily.
It's a great point. To be aware of where they are, but also perhaps to be aware of what those people can contribute. A lot of these guys would be perfect for the military, but criminal records prevent that. A lot of these guys would be out building bridges but we don't invest in our infrastructure.
Reality is not everybody is a book-nerd or internet-warrior. Some guys are made to fight and to lift heavy things, and to take risks. Those risks are necessary when we fight bears or in battles. Those risks are useless when we fight Facebook comments and stigma.
Enough ranting.
Why do we call it resilience? That's a structural engineering term. Some shit you bend and it never comes back. It's different. I think that term is not correct unless you really think people can't change and return to some stable zero point.
I need tips guidance on how to become more resilient, after last break up I took 3 months of depression holiday. Which has now passed but still, I lose it when emotional pain becomes too much. How does one get strength to pull through shit like this?
Since then I've worked really hard, couple weed benders. But still it hasn't affected me too much, I admit 1 project got a bit of a hit in the sense of 1 week of progress lost.
First: don't call it by a medical term. It is not depression.
It is sadness.
Second, express it and remove any myth that this is meant to be fixed.
The French had this down pretty well: it's not genuis and madness, it's genius and hardship. The Blues. Listen to it. Make music. Hip hop is demonized by everyone but guess what: the people who make hip hop are talking about a reality nobody wants to hear.
Paint, draw, sing, and express and communicate that. And listen to other stuff. Whatever it is.
LOOK at La Guernica. Fucking brutal battle of the Spanish Civil War. During Nazi occupation, the Nazi asked Picasso, "did you paint this?" Picasso said, "No you did."
Paint it. It's called the blues for a reason. Write a book. Hemingway wasn't a wimp and he was miserable. Write poetry because guess what, that's manly too. Walt Whitman, or Bob Dylan. Sing that shit out.
There's a reason the powers-that-be want to define what "is" and "is not" acceptable art (and by that I mean all human expression, even fashion). Demonizing men for looking sharp in the inner-city, or by creating hip hop... that's gotta stop.
Cue a David Goggins motivational youtube video about how "YOU DONT WORK HARD ENOUGH, MUTHAFUCKA!"
Meh, that guy looks like he's selling something...
Look for the strength in a man who doesn't dress like he's ready to sell you supplements.
A fat man, a short man, a weak man. Look for that. Those people are stronger than this guy, who gets accolades for everything he has accomplished.
Here's someone to think of. You know the Arab Spring was started by one man? He was poor, weak, and would be called a "loser" by American standards as well. He set himself on fire. Not the wisest move, perhaps, but something that takes guts at least.
He's a alive and he should be recognized as someone that the powerful fear: one man, the weakest looking man, won't be the one who changes the world. There's a reason communists started killing men with glasses first. (Article in French: https://tambour.agoraafricaine.info/2017/12/17/17-decembre-2010-tunisie-mohamed-bouazizi-limmolation-qui-a-declenche-le-printemps-arabe/)
He ran a 100 mile race when his body checked out at mile 70. He's not some social media whore trying to sell something other than instilling drive and discipline in people. I don't get where you see this "he's trying to sell something" idea. He's a former SEAL who pushed his body to the limits. His whole story is what people love about the "rags to riches" theme. I simply love the fact that it was hardship after hardship and not some "final break through for all the hard work I put in" BS
Grew up in a family with an abusive father that made his kids work. Mother finally got away from the father and moved into a massively racist town he had to put up with throughout grade school. He never properly learned to read and had to teach himself as it affected his ability to get into the military. Even when he didn't initially make it into the military, he kept pushing to workout and overcome his "whoa is me" situation. He even gets in the military and then he has to deal with heart problems. The list goes on and on.
I'm 2 months into this, hopefully improving every day. Depression is not something you choose. I simply cannot eat, loss all appetite for almost 1 month and lost about 10 kg. Now I'm slowly gaining weight again. Exercise during this time was almost impossibly but I did it anyway to try to conserve some muscle mass.
Forget about the counting. Go do something. And get off the internet, lol. me too.
Let me ask you something, do you do cardio? Cardio is great for producing endorphins and stimulating appetite. It's never talked about on here.. Everyone just says lift. I've dealt with depression for years now and honestly there were times when I could have chosen to stop it or at least lessen the effects.. It doesn't feel good to try to stop, but that is the point of this. Sometimes the familiar depression is more comfortable than the unfamiliar pain of growth.
If you can't eat, get a high calorie protein mix like "muscle milk" and exercise as much as you can.. It is SO important for regulating our mental health. We are designed to be moving every day...
Also try taking Aspirin and Omega 3 fish oil. Inflammation is a huge factor in depression.
Dealing with depression via diet and exercise is one of the reasons I became a personal trainer
I don't think the people on the street are even losers. Read the Grapes of Wrath. You're adopting the "unmarriageable male" narrative.
RECLAIM the REALITY that the Common Man is the Winner, not the Loser. Losers tweet and CHEAT. Real men hang tough and keep it real.
Take the narrative of the down-on-his luck here. The comeback kid. Rocky (who didn't even win his match). The Fighter.
The Joads were "losers" in their society, outcasts by a cruel society and unforgiving heat (sound familiar). The heroes there were men (and women) who kept going, who found spirit, and you showed how to continue when you have nothing left to give. The last scene (excluded from the film) brought me to tears, but it showed strength.
We honor unknown men who died in foreign wars. Let us not forget those men who die fighting the wars against them every day.
Someone said about Bruce Springsteen that his music is about "losers." Good. The Common Man. Copeland write a majestic fanfare for that Common Man.
Cowboys, pioneers, panhandlers, even men stripped and robed of their humanity for hundreds of years (I'm talking about slaves but also many Native Americans)... these are not the losers, but the heroes we should worship.
P.S. Lo and behold... the elite youth are already doing what elites have always done: throwing the common man in the garbage bin.
https://www.thecrimson.com/article/2018/1/18/lutz-myth-of-the-common-man/
I don't look down on those people. I tried to illustrate how we have the same mental processes that can lead very easily to the same place in life.. That we are not much different from them.
However it is hard to write about reaching higher levels than other people, winning the battle against ourselves, with the attitude that there is no such thing as winning and losing in life, that we are all equal, and therefor what is the point of trying to rise above anything?
We can admire certain traits in others, but would never want to trade places with them.
I am far from elite. I have dumpster dived for food for years and everything I own is second hand. I have no pride in consuming or out competing others on superficial levels. This post was written to build people up, not tear them down
Read Camus. Read the stoics. Detached participation.
Do I sense a few Nietzschean undertones in this post, OP?
Possibly but I can't say I've studied him
The part describing the start of slippery slope reminds me the video GLO posted some time ago, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkSV4xyKkds
As a former heroin addict, you really have no idea what you are talking about. You have no idea how intense the pain can be. You have no idea how bad things can get.
You sound very priviledged, as if you have lived your life behind a computer screen. Go out into the real world boy and youll soon find out just how bad life can be.
Did I mention heroin in this post? I live in Allegheny County, PA. We've been hit as hard as anyone by the opiate crisis. I personally know at least a dozen people who have lost their lives to it. They were good, strong, hard working people. If it were easy to conquer, they would have done it. You are right, the pain must be unimaginable.
I am in no way qualified to write a "This is how you beat heroin addiction" post. There is a whole spectrum of self sabotaging and self destructive behavior that adds up over time.. Over eating and not exercising, smoking, procrastination, being around shitty people, underachieving, watching television, not sleeping, and yes, binge drinking.. There are plenty of people who are not physically dependent on alcohol but will throw away every Saturday being hung over because Friday is an excuse for getting drunk. And I've seen quite a few people I know get DUI's because of that. I've taken plenty of my own risks. These things can have snowball effects that ruin lives.
You sound like a typical victim thinking in addict, looking for an excuse to indulge in addiction again. Go check Steven Chandler audios on “owner vs victim thinking”, his other material, get some therapy.
Or shot another one and die.
Precisely what “privileged” OP writes about.
The only people I know who were successful in managing their addiction did it with help from others, using a program.
Did you go through a program, have a sponsor, go to meetings?
Were there not times when something happens and you wanted to use again but went to a meeting instead?