From the New York Times.

For Online Daters, Women Peak at 18 While Men Peak at 50, Study Finds. Oy.

Imagine, gentle readers, the pain this will cause the Hamsters of the world. Lots of shrieking and gnashing of teeth. The Tout le Monde who go about, reading the ‘right’ books and periodicals, are seen at the ‘right’ places and believe in the ‘right’ things, express the ‘right’ opinions, and who believe in SCIENCE! have been betrayed by their god. SCIENCE delivers a shiv to the very heart of the Hamster.

If you haven’t watched “Nanette,” Hannah Gadsby’s fearless comedy special on Netflix, do that now. (We’ll wait.)

Don’t bother, unless you like butch lesbian comics in horn-rimmed glasses. I mean, she might be quite funny, as Amy Wong is and Sarah Silverman used to be, but I can’t be arsed.

In it, Ms. Gadsby takes on the fragility of masculinity

I am reminded that liberals and bluepills often project their own guilt on to others. Women hit their prime (supposedly) at 18, and men at 50, and yet when confronted with SCIENCE! it’s somehow the MEN that are “fragile”

LOL. I don’t fucking think so.

and at one point drills into Pablo Picasso, who, well into his 40s, had an affair with a teenage girl.

How did Picasso wedge his middle-aged cock into the very willing vag of a teenage girl? By making himself exceptional. Recall this is exactly the prescription of your Wise Uncle Vasya: Older Men, Younger Women: How & When It Can Work

Picasso, as a world-famous artist who invented Cubism. So he was an O.G. of the art world. That does make him an outlier, but still.

Ms. Gadsby, who has a degree in art history, recounted how Picasso justified the relationship by claiming that he and the girl, Marie-Thérèse Walter, were both in their prime.

Let’s break this down, piece by piece. First, Ms Gadsby has a degree in art history! Sacre bleu! And that qualifies her to criticize Picasso! That’s like saying some Poli Sci major who works as a theater usher is qualified to gainsay Thomas Jefferson!

Now in fairness to Ms Gadsby, I do think that teenage pussy can be over-rated. I think women really blossom at around 20. Maybe 19. But 17? Nah. They just have more “potential” at that age because their rendezvous with the WallSPLAT! is a couple years further into the future.

Seething, Ms. Gadsby said: “A 17-year-old girl is never in her prime. Ever! I am in my prime.” She is 40.

Let’s watch the replay….

Ms. Gadsby: [Seething]... “A 17-year-old girl is never in her prime. Ever! I am in my prime.” She is 40.

TRP: Good. Let the Hate flow through you!

Cut away to the Hamster, dying on its wheel

The researchers determined that while men’s sexual desirability peaks at age 50, women’s starts high at 18 and falls from there. In other words, not so far from the ages of Walter and Picasso.

Bloopers: “IT’S SUNRISE!!! WHERE’S MY COFFIN?!?!”.

“The age gradient for women definitely surprised us — both in terms of the fact that it steadily declined from the time women were 18 to the time they were 65, and also how steep it was,” said Elizabeth Bruch, an associate professor of sociology at the University of Michigan and an author of the study.

OF course it “surprised” the researchers – the female ones, whose gender blindness makes them think that men value degrees and cellulite over soft, supple, young flesh. Were there any male researchers? They are either maginas, or didn’t want to wind up as the punchline in a #MeToo story.

This study isn’t an anomaly.

No shit. Why would it be? In women value fertility and youth (because it implies fertility) and beauty (because it implies genetic fitness to be the vessel of the man’s seed.)The study results echoed data shared by the dating behemoth OkCupid in 2010, in which the service found that men from the ages of 22 to 30 focus almost entirely on women who are younger than them.

“The median 30-year-old man spends as much time messaging teenage girls as he does women his own age,” OkCupid wrote in a blog post at the time.

Bloopers: “SKREE! SKREE! SKREE!”

“The male fixation on youth distorts the dating pool,” OkCupid concluded.

No, the leftoid fixation on “Muh Equalizmz!” attempts to distort nature. Darwin never misses a tackle.

Michelle Drouin, a developmental psychologist who focuses on technology and relationships, was not surprised by the new study — in part because they “align with evolutionary theories of mating” in which youth suggests fertility, she said.

Feminist Grinchellas: “HOW CAN THIS BE SO?!”

Science Bish: “IT’S SCIENCE, BITCH!”

Dr. Drouin pointed out, though, that there are also theories that suggest that “men are just less interested in earning potential or power, and more interested in physical attractiveness.”

Did everyone see that bit of Hamster Trickeration? Science Bish just said the same thing in a different way, and pretended that it was different. Translation: “It’s not that men like young hot women, it could also be that they like hot, young women.”

Women want brains. Men care less.

Men don’t want brains because we have brains. Women want brains resources.

Speaking of earning potential, Dr. Bruch also found that a man’s desirability increased the more education he attained.

Female Hypergamy: Confirmed.

For women, that benefit ended with an undergraduate degree — and postgraduate education, in fact, made them less desirable.

“That law degree looks so sexy on you!” - Said no man, ever.

Why? Because those post-grad bitches be OLDER. And they tend to run their mouths a lot, and not in the fun way, like if they wuz tawkin’ durty.

Dr. Drouin said that educational dynamic might also be related to “beliefs that higher degrees among women translate into more work commitment and less relationship and family commitment.”

Science Bish: “Credentialed bitches be uppity and bitchy n’shit. No man wants that, so they are less valued.”

People aim high (probably too high).

Well, women, anyway.

“Little investment on the front end might pay out big on the back end — so why not opt for a chance at the biggest win?”

“Bet small, win small. Bet big, win big.”

-God Emperor Trump to then-Penthouse Pet Sandy Korn, who he had just nailed. But then again, the internet can’t read chemistry.

“In the real world, the woman with a graduate degree who knows your favorite Kerouac passage, speaks a few languages or discovers new ways to cure disease might be undeniably attractive,” she said. “Think of Amal Clooney.”

Riiiiiight. That was a life preserver tossed to the already-drowned hamster. Remember how I said that Picasso was an outlier? Guess what Amal Clooney is….

Fun Facts:

A. SCIENCE! motherfuckers….

B. Men age like wine. Women age like milk.

C. Really stinky milk.

D. Men prefer younger, hotter, tighter babes; Hamsters rage