What nobody tells you about marriage, from a married man

Yourmamasmama · 2018-09-01T13:16:02+00:00

Hmm OP, it seems like you just don't like interacting with your wife. When most people marry, they marry for the personality so that they won't have to be old alone.

You fucked up by marrying the pretty girl for the sex.

[deleted] · 2018-09-01T15:27:37+00:00

OP is gonna fuck around and his wife is gonna cheat on him and leave him. Keep being a miserable asshole of an entitled husband. She’s gonna seek out acceptance and validation somewhere. And best believe she’s gonna find it. Even if she’s as bad as you say she can still pull triple the ass you can on her worst day. That’s a fact. How would you feel if your daughters bf or husband talked about her the way you have? Me? I’d knock his fucking teeth out.

My wife had amazing tits and a rocking body. We didn’t have kids until our mid 30s. Her tits got wrecked and she gained a little weight. We both did. She got a boob job and tummy tuck and has lost most of the rest. Her self confidence has gone back up and that benefits me. She’s still sexy AF and honestly I feel like our sex life is better now than before we had kids. More sex, new stuff for us because we communicate more (throating, anal, etc). You need to be supportive of her and both talk about what you want to get out of this thing. Otherwise your marriage is on a countdown clock to d day. Then you’ll be paying out the ass in child support and only seeing your kids every now and then. Is that what you want?

Viking_RnP · 2018-09-01T02:00:11+00:00

Is her company valuable to you at all?

dartandabeer · 2018-09-01T10:36:16+00:00

You sound like you married for looks and didn't even bother getting to really know her personality

You're also both young. She'll be immature and so are you.

You either piss her off now or wait it out and see if you guys sort it out.

murt98 · 2018-09-01T18:49:46+00:00

I feel sorry for her and not you.

notamouse418 · 2018-09-01T09:01:45+00:00

you sound like an asshole, and it's gross as hell that you can only value the woman you married by how fuckable her body is to you. You should get a divorce, because no one deserves to live their life with someone who hates them the way you seem to hate your wife.

cigar1975 · 2018-09-01T11:37:33+00:00

I don't want to come across as a troll, or rude. I just don't understand what the fuck you think YOU deserve. This woman gave you a couple of kids, and all the while you can only think of your goddamn self.
Perhaps you can sort your goddamn issues out, talk to the mother of your kids and try to work past what seems like your petty goddamn issues. You said she had a quick mind and is funny, but her body is getting older. Her pussy is stretched out, what the fuck do you expect after she popped out a couple of kids..

Do you know how many people get fucked over, left by their wives and saddled with child support for kids that may not even be theirs? You come across like a fucking self centered egotistical cunt.

I don't mean to come across like a dick, and I know I do. You had kids too early, you should have waited a few years, but that shit happens. Try to ease into talking to her about the issues you have with one another, i'm pretty sure she might have some issues with you that are leading her to feel the way she does. Try to find the spark that lead you to marrying her, and both of you try to fall back into love with one another. I do have sympathy for you, but I have more for her from the way you come across. Communication is a beautiful thing, when you stop having it with each other, that's when issues pop up. That's when the cheating starts, and I hope she doesn't turn to someone for a connect you two appear to have lost.

I do wish you the absolute best, and I hope you remember why and what you fell in love with. Try to grow a bit as a man, and as a husband. Good luck!

redd_reality · 2018-09-01T01:25:40+00:00

You know, op, I read all about how your wife got worse with age in every way and how that is a detriment to you. But, what I did not read was how you progressed down your life's path during these years.

Your wife fulfilled her evolutionary, biological life's purpose. Did you remain on track in your growth and development. Did you continue to learn who you are and never stop striving to be better?

Maybe your wife had kids, lost her youthful body and became a bitch. But maybe her nagging, bitch attitude was brought on because, while she turned into a human baby making machine, you remained the same person in every way. Maybe she unknowingly resents you for not being all you could be in your role as her husband, in your role as a man?

Do you think, maybe, if you were continually developing yourself and discovering new, meaningful ways to be, live and love, she would inevitably continue down the hag path?

I don't know, but there is always two sides to every story.

CaptJohnLukeDiscard · 2018-09-01T02:35:14+00:00

The only chance a woman has to have a decent body post baby is if she lifts weights, as in real lifting with programmed complexes. Cardio bunnies become flat asses and flappy arms.

Maintain frame, set the example, point your woman to the squat rack, and thank yourself later. Or send her to Crossfit. Those bitches are hnnnggggg.

Source: dude with a lot of kids and a wife with a soft 6 pack

scissor_me_timbers00 · 2018-09-01T03:10:08+00:00

Beauty for a women with age depends on genetics mostly, but also how well she takes care of herself. I have a friend who is 50 and still looks like she’s mid 20’s. She exercises, eats healthy, and is always in a good mood. She told me after her fifth kid that women at church would belittle her and tell her “why do you keep trying, just stop worrying about looks, you’re a mother now.” That’s the kind of mentality that is disgusting, when lazy people drag you down out of jealously.

karmicillusion · 2018-09-01T00:57:02+00:00

I think there’s something to be said for marrying a less attractive or slightly plump girl if you’re going to get married. Of my friends wives, the most pleasant and beautiful now are the ones that weren’t as hot to begin with. They still appreciate you more and feel like they’re lucky to have you, because they know what looks like to be staring loneliness in the face. They also don’t feel like they cashed in their chips for you because they’re not accustomed to the feeling of unlimited spending potential that copious amounts of male attention from all directions can create.

zephixleer · 2018-09-01T05:25:57+00:00

TRP has become this dumping-ground for absolute trash. Crying about how your wife doesn't look the same as she did when she was 18. No shit?! And she calls you names? Sounds to me like she hurt your feelings and you got on here to talk shit about her.

TRP should be telling you to man the fuck up and take control of your marriage. Either do that or divorce her with a good lawyer. Stop being a child and crying about her on the internet.

TRP mentality about marriage, assuming you're in one that you filtered through red-pill theory, should be to be a damn man and control the marriage. Apply what you've learned, your status of being awake to the ways of women, your mental fortitude and your fitness; apply those to keeping her in line. If she's bitching at you about being lazy, there's something wrong and it's absolutely your fault. Either you've been a lazy ass and she's calling you on your bullshit, or she's being a bitch for some reason. Either she has a mental disorder or she has some legitimate issue that you, as her husband, can fix. And if you cant, again, get a good lawyer and move on. No, it's not easy but it's better than devolving to some trash-person who belittles her on the fucking internet.

ImportantWords · 2018-08-31T23:50:17+00:00

I am married currently. And I have to say, never again. Complete 180 once she got that ring. Relationships should have a shelf life.

macalpinerules · 2018-09-01T18:04:59+00:00

IDK man, everything you've described sounds like a standard marriage: wife loses shape after bearing multiple children, sex drives goes down, she becomes annoying etc. A responsible man has to know this will happen and make a tough decision on whether or not the difficulty of marriage is worth the prize of having your own family.

IRunYourRiver · 2018-09-01T00:08:22+00:00

How old is your youngest? My wife bounced back big time when our youngest turned about 5. A lot of other fucked up shit happened simultaneously, but her body found its full woman form. The sex is getting better, but lots of other things aren't as good. Which is why I'm on TRP, lol.

Given that we haven't completely destroyed marriage yet, I think it's wise to be realistic about the advice on this sub. The RP'd ones have a huge advantage, but more than likely they will experience the messed up things about long-term companionship too. The difference is how they may be able to respond and keep their expectations in check.

EumenesOfEfa · 2018-08-31T23:29:47+00:00

I don't know what to say really, other than thank you for the warning. I will have my fun before getting married.

Rian_Stone · 2018-09-01T01:44:03+00:00

Usually in MRP we give guys one victim puke.

That would have been yours. Question to ask yourself. Why does she treat you like shit?

Either you are, or because you put up with it. You can work on both fronts.

n124up · 2018-09-01T03:56:50+00:00

This post made me realize how disgusting humans are.

Theguygotgame777 · 2018-09-01T02:33:44+00:00

In Japan, they used to let a man have one wife, but as many consorts as he could afford. The wife to have his heirs and keep his home, and his consorts to actually please him. They fucking knew about all this, but they just discarded it.

OPTIMUSL1ME · 2018-09-01T05:36:21+00:00

You are a fucking retard for one. Good on you for getting married and not ditching, raising your kids and the like, but this entire story - you're telling it like you were a passenger and not a driver. Did you want any of these kids or are you just pounding away mindlessly and then going "welp there's another one." I'm over here literally squinting my eyes and shaking my head because I am absolutely baffled at how you didn't realize that having kids is bad for women's aesthetics and then decided to have 3 of them. Then again it sounds like you didn't decide at all, she did. This whole post reeks of a need to reel in your woman, especially the part about her personality going south. Though, you clearly only care about this girl's looks and did from the start, so why did you do something to deplete that?

"I know what goes on here" do you? The entirety of TRP is more or less manipulation. If you are of the belief that you're a victim of circumstance, that you were cucked by an act of god, by mother nature, I give you the pity you were seeking when you wrote this post.

crazyfoxxx · 2018-09-01T16:58:55+00:00

I don't know. My parents have been married for 25 years now. Clearly both have aged but my Mom has aged quite gracefully. She doesnt drink. She does intermittent fasting regularly, and looks at least ten to fifteen years younger than women of her same age. She's not a person with a 20 year olds body but clearly better than most women her age. She did go under the knife for my Dad though and came out looking even better.

I would say their marriage is pretty good. They do fight, but I actually like having married parents in a reasonably happy relationship. Honestly if somebody told me that my life could be like my parents after marriage, I would consider it a good bargain even if my wife didn't look like a Playboy model when she was forty

Having said that, I can't see finding a girl like my Mom today though. My Dad clearly runs the show in our house. My mom cooks well and despite being well educated decided to put her career second when it came to raising me and my sibling. She lets my Dad do the manly stuff, run the home finances and consults him on all major decisions. I can't see today's girls doing anything she does for her man

When i think about that, it makes me a little sad. I see what could have been for me, but don't see it happening. Also I don't know if it is because of my family situation but I have slightly right of center political views. Maybe being brought up in what would be called a patriarchal family influenced my views?

As a kid, I am glad my Dad didn't just run from one pretty woman to the other and stuck with my Mom. I think he would have been a very sad man today if he had run after sex only. I also appreciate that my Mom kept herself beautiful within the boundaries set by nature and was a good wife to him

They have built a good life together and have raised us well.

RPDunkleBomb · 2018-09-01T02:41:25+00:00

Lessons Learned:

-The wall exists and it's brutal.

-Having children accelerates the speed at which a woman collides with the wall.

-Marriage is a no-win contract and human relationships have a shelf life of 4-6 years.

-There are no unicorns.

climaxingplatypus · 2018-09-01T00:56:04+00:00

If your daughter was never in the picture would you still remain with your wife?

MattyAnon · 2018-09-01T01:05:17+00:00

I think too many men are NOT aware of what pregnancy and motherhood does to a woman's body. It completelt fucks it up. Ruins it.

She didn't 'bounce back' anymore it seems

Especially if she packs on a few pounds of lard too. Alternating fat with dieting isn't gonna be too great for a body.

Behavior-wise, she got fucking mean

Yeah. Happens when women have security, options and control.

At thirty I look better than I ever did. I'm fitter, more in shape, more muscular and overall more attractive than I was when I first married. But my wife is but a shell of her former self.

And yet she's the one being abusive to you.

She does it because she can. You're loyal. You have restricted your own options with your loyalty - and she has lost all respect for you because of it. Not that you have any choice if you want to keep your children.

diffines · 2018-09-01T11:34:09+00:00

Ok, that’s your marriage. But let’s look at this another way. You guys stay together despite her skinny ass and low hanging fruit. You get a little older, you get fuckin cancer. Your wife takes you to your doctors, she cleans up your piss and vomit, she puts you to bed, feeds you, your kids help you up and visit you, they sit with you cause you’re so fuckin sick you just wanna die. They’re company. Versus- you divorce her skinny ass, you have a stroke, you end up alone, nobody gives a shit, no kids around, you fall and break your leg, you lie there for days and die there alone, but at least you didn’t need to see a bitch around that got a little saggy. You ain’t gonna be 28 forever. Maybe make it work. I know someone here is gonna say divorce and get a hotter younger bitch. I say- more baggage or just different baggage and the potential for worse shit down the road. Make it work. You can’t change reality all the time, or even most of the time.

grandmazboy · 2018-09-01T00:10:10+00:00

Thank you for your honesty brave man. Hang in there.

anticultured · 2018-09-01T02:28:54+00:00

Man, I got married at 50 for the first time. I’m 51 now. My wife was in the best shape of her life. Six pack abs and all. Has two grown girls, 18, and 21. Nice as can be. I really think it’s okay to get married at this age, I’m rounding third base and headed for home plate. At 20, way too young... I banged hundreds of chics in my 20s and 30s. Many tried to lock me down, but I always saw that trap, long before this website and sub existed. I have no kids, but I’m okay with that. I wish you luck. I say, separate if it’s what will make you happy. You only got one life.

ShimaRoosman · 2018-09-01T16:39:17+00:00

I'm surprised this has so many upvotes. Sounds like you're pissed at the world because your wife isn't as attractive anymore. What sort of a shallow asshat are you? Will you be mad at her if she doesn't like your receding hair line in a few years time?

Be a man, and get on with it. If you don't want to be with her, then get a divorce, but you can't bag on at her just because her body has changed after having 3 children. All of which by the way, you played a part in creating, you didn't have to keep sticking it in her and busting your load.

NormalAndy · 2018-09-01T07:38:27+00:00

My missus is a mean bitch who threatens divorce at the drop of a hat and has a body nobody is interested in anymore- including me. Great fucking cook though and she earns her own money.

It’s hilarious. I tell her she is free to go whenever she likes but she stays and does what I want instead. I am also free to pick up dates if I choose but, truth be told I don’t have the time these days and I’m not all that bothered either. Women are a pain in the ass a lot of the time from what I see of them. I enjoy the attention though.

As long as you are strong enough to take the abuse, marriage is a fucking joy! Still, when it is all over, that will be fun too.

flyalpha56 · 2018-08-31T23:59:14+00:00

Thanks for the warning cuzzo. Just focus on giving your kids the best life possible, don’t worry about the whiny bitch.

Some optimism for you... maybe when she hits 35-40 she will hit a milf stage and her body will come back a little bit.

The tits prob won’t get better without going under the knife tho... I fucked a 38 year old (i was 23) on a business trip last summer in San Diego and her tits were saggy as fuck. Nipples all wrinkled and shit... it was weird considering I had just recently graduated and went from fucking 19-22 year olds to that haha.

Gobraves44 · 2018-09-01T00:34:29+00:00

So what happened between kid 1 and 2/3? After kid 1 it sounded ok. Was it just age?

c_megalodon25 · 2018-09-01T10:35:03+00:00

I believe women have an identity crisis after kids that men will never truly understand. We are always up for sex. We are always wanting to work, and we are always interested in doing fun things. Being a father is simply another part of who we are just like taking up guitar (although definitely more important and permanent!!) With women, they fight with the identity of being a sexy and desirable woman and being a mommy. It completely stresses them out and they take it out on us even if it isn't justified. They hate their new body that is leaking milk, and has stretch marks. While we men will always like the perfect supermodel, we did knock up our wives and should be accepting of at least some changes...not gaining 150 pounds, but the normal shit.

They also seem to have resentments toward us about our different parenting style. They can't see that ours works too. They resent us for not being perfect parents even though many of us are pretty fucking good dads. Sucks, I know.

[deleted] · 2018-09-06T19:10:45+00:00

You're honestly pathetic.

Married man with children obsessing over pussy like a teenager. Jesus christ man.

Maybe if you weren't such a simp your wife wouldn't treat you like shit.

Here you are, whining about how much you hate your wife's body on the internet. Then you blame her for treating you like shit.

Act your age. You aren't single. You aren't 20 years old. Be a man.

And if anyone wants to say "blah blah TRP is about focusing on yourself!!!"

If you put your own WANTS ahead of your children's needs you are human garbage. End of story.

conflagratorX · 2018-09-01T02:27:07+00:00

At least you banged her through her prime years. Many men wife up post wall slut which gives her first birth during her 30. Which has even more disastrous effect on women looks.

triavatar · 2018-09-01T06:54:28+00:00

She hates you because she WAS hot, and your baby fucked that over completely. Do you blame her?

Do you think she doesn't realize that you think she's disgusting now? If she were to find your account and read this post. I bet you she wouldn't be in the least bit surprised.

YOU decided to have multiple babies with her. That's what cucked you, not the marriage.

edit: multiple babies, not just one. Jesus man.

MaximumSeven · 2018-09-01T08:29:31+00:00

The wall takes no prisoners

SeeminglyBlue · 2018-09-01T22:04:52+00:00

“love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind; and therefore is winged cupid painted blind.”

your situation is a result of falling in love with her body, not her head. trust me when i say that while her body changes, she does not. i doubt this will get better. your best solution right now would be counseling to see if you can sort this knot out, and if you cannot, then divorce. you will save yourself and her a lot of trouble later in the line. you are still young, as is she; there is an entire flock of birds waiting outside your nest. all it takes is a little push.

Bestoftherest222 · 2018-09-01T02:42:13+00:00

As a female loses her assets she lashes out. This is a common theme. She gets more and more miserable losing her only asset, and she gets mad at everyone else.

99% of women have no personality and only identify themselves on how they look. Losing looks is like us men losing our penis, money, and future all at once.

Luftiwaffe · 2018-09-01T00:41:03+00:00

one question: do you totally regret it?

ApostateAZ · 2018-09-01T03:55:17+00:00

People shouldn’t get married until they are in their late 20s to early 30s. People change too much before that age.

My wife had her body destroyed after our first and only child, but she is an amazing wife and pretty much has sex whenever I want. We have been together for over 10 years.

Getting her a tummy tuck next year, at her request, to fix what my son did.

Tannedmonkey · 2018-09-01T10:54:41+00:00

If you want I can fuck her for you.

kjlh9 · 2018-09-01T00:55:32+00:00

Does she go to the gym? If she puts no effort in i'd ask to open the relationship or bite the bullet and divorce. You're in your prime and as a great man once said, yolo

[deleted] · 2018-09-01T06:55:14+00:00

Uh what did you expect? Did you think she was going to gain 70lbs, shit out a 5lb baby two or three times and then go back to the original state? Lol.

Samatic · 2018-09-01T10:42:42+00:00

You state, "And yet I was cucked, not by any other man, but by Mother Nature itself." I can honestly say I'd never thought of it like this and thanks for mentioning it. I just hope that the first child was yours since you didn't get a paternity test then you would of been cucked by nature and your wife!

DonkeyD13K · 2018-09-01T14:13:52+00:00

5 love languages, this turned my marriage around after very, very similar circumstances.

newbornredditor · 2018-09-01T16:02:59+00:00

Hello OP. I'm very curious to hear what were the circumstances of the 2nd and 3rd pregnancy. Did you plan them or were they the "oops! It just happened" type of situation. Did you want to have more than just one child with that woman?

EnzoGold · 2018-09-01T21:06:17+00:00

Does she even go to the gym? Cause that's clearly a factor too

tiny10boy · 2018-09-02T17:34:52+00:00

A woman will only look as good and be as kind as is required by her environment.

JimmyJoeJr2 · 2018-09-08T21:02:01+00:00

Gotta say fairplay for telling it like it is and not holding back or sugar-coating.

bastardstepchild · 2018-09-01T03:31:32+00:00

Yeah - and the older and fatter they get, the LESS they appreciate that you keep putting up with their shit.

MasculineHapa · 2018-09-01T04:30:49+00:00

I think we should discuss the whole having kids thing wrecking a woman’s body more. You said it yourself, your first one wasn’t planned, what was the point of having the second?

187oddfuture · 2018-09-01T00:32:01+00:00

Wtf is this, the blue pill subreddit? Why are any of you retards in the comments saying: “Oh, great reminder oh wise 30-something. I’ll have my fun BEFORE I GET MARRIED.”? Fuck that noise. Don’t get married, period. Zero benefits. Zero. If you value kids more than you value your freedom and your livelihood, then I’ll show you your chains. Marriage is the worst deal you could ever take, and learn from OP. Don’t get married, fucking bloops.

DJTrapMatic · 2018-09-01T04:50:45+00:00

OP you need to stop having sex with a woman you’ve become unattracted to, Grows some balls and tell her no. If she asks tell her you can no longer become aroused when you see her naked. Sorry

rebelde_sin_causa · 2018-09-01T03:28:22+00:00

I recently dated a gal in her late 30s with 3 kids who has the body of a playboy model. She's a triathlete with fake boobs. Works out constantly. Great tan. So they do exist. But she's not fit to be anything better than a plate. Same old story. "My ex husband abused me." I have it on good authority some of the bruises she showed to the police related to that were put there by her.

Radkin007 · 2018-09-01T06:51:05+00:00

Attraction is paramount my man. If you or she is not attracted to the other, it is destined to fail. It’s not rocket surgery, it’s a pretty obvious thing. Most women actually don’t want marriage now a days as they have been masculinized by the female-social economic imperative. The best thing, psychologically for you would be to divorce before the pressure surmounts to a breaking point. The best thing financially would be to divorce when the kids are out of the house. Women can’t love the way a man sees love. They love in a weird pseudo-twisted way, relying on emotion in the moment, rather then past experience and memories as men do.

I have not fully deciphered this concept and I fear I may never, as I am not a woman and can not fathom how their cranium organ works to a fault, this is not to say they all work an exact way but rather a generalization.

alphatom63 · 2018-09-01T02:29:56+00:00

How old is she after the babies?

volvostupidshit · 2018-09-01T08:26:19+00:00

At least you did not marry a woman with BPD, OP. Lmao. You could have tripled your misery.

[deleted] · 2018-09-01T09:03:24+00:00

looks-wise you made a deal. you trade her good looks for your children. this seems a honest deal.

what is totally avoidable is her behaviour, this i cannot explain.

TruthSeekaaaaa · 2018-09-01T09:36:04+00:00

For me, the scariest part is not the decaying woman but the thought of living a life along with a person you don't like anymore.

Hyper_Sonik · 2018-09-01T15:34:23+00:00

Sounds like my baby mamma to a T. But now she wants to be a "dancer" because nobody "pays attention" to her. Has a nasty attitude and high expectations. Thinks her shit don't stink. We're not together. Once in a while we fuck and last time I made her dripping wet. It was weird. It's cinfusing.
I think she thinks some "prince charming" is going to sweep her up and take on our 2 children. Or that her ticket to salvation and riches is becoming a stripper. Crazy because I've known her since we were 15. I'm 31 and she was always a "good girl"....I am reminded of rollos article "making up for missing out".

TryhardPantiesON · 2018-09-01T17:00:29+00:00

Hey OP, have you ever suggested she exercise or have a cosmetic surgery to repair her body? Like, a breast lift, breast enlargment, fix the saggy belly, etc. Maybe the reason she is mean to you is because she no longer feels attractive and she notices your lack of attraction to her.

Think about it, it's like investing some money on an old car that you want to keep for your whole life, to make it look nice.

Not white knighting, but you seem to have a solid relationship, just lacking lust for each other, so I think it would be worth trying to repair the relationship on that regard.

dobbekz · 2018-09-01T18:03:52+00:00

I think this happens in most marriages and it's not just the wife looking worse a lot of time the guy will look like shit to, once people have a partner and they get married they just get complacent and no longer put in the effort.

etherealembryo · 2018-09-01T19:34:50+00:00

I needed this. Good luck soldier the fight never ends.

casual_redditor_01 · 2018-09-01T21:53:31+00:00

Best read thread in awhile...

[deleted] · 2018-09-01T23:46:33+00:00

Thanks for posting. My mom once told me if you want to know how a woman ages, look at her mom.

JustinDell990 · 2018-09-02T19:23:40+00:00

Marriage/children is the biggest trap there is. You're a fool for falling for the hype.

Starfuckingman · 2018-09-04T01:25:27+00:00

Why don't you get her to workout and keep it as a lifestyle so she maintains at least half of her former self and not end up like this.

goldaxis · 2018-09-04T19:03:43+00:00

Why do you think she has become mean?

Raising kids really is tough. Losing your attractiveness takes a big mental toll on anyone too. You're never getting your perky little 20yo minx back, but you can have a better relationship if you can manage to cooperate and build each other up instead of showing such open disgust for each other. Get her in on your fitness time. Buy a really good home gym if you have to. TRP rules don't really matter after you have three kids.

makethemflaunt · 2018-09-05T07:50:49+00:00

Hey dude. I want to give you some personal feedback after going through a similar situation.

This really worked for me. Try it out and see how you feel.

I was also going through a phase of "oh fuck, what have I done?" I was no longer physically attracted to my SO at a level that I determined to be acceptable. So I developed a new goal. My aim was to build sexual tension in the relationship, even though I was no longer finding my SO to be that attractive. I rationalized that I needed that sexual tension in order to *want* to get better, to improve myself, and to look forward to sex, rather than to just do it because it was there.

I instituted a regimen of looking at soft porn (no penetration; no sex; just beautiful female models, a la FemAngels or FemJoy) for no more than 10 minutes each morning, and then not masturbating or having sex.

Within about a week, I was really amped up and starting to look at my SO differently, and starting to feel differently too. I could feel tension rise up within me. I used that tension within me to build sexual tension between the two of us. After about a week, I allowed sex again.

I kept up the soft porn viewing habit for several weeks and then naturally stopped. That was several months ago.

As I elevated the tension between us, she got more attractive both objectively (because she started to get more fit and more submissive, responding to the increased tension), and subjectively, from my own point of view (because I was hornier). The results seem to have lasted.

At last check in, there was a very pretty girl, about 10 years younger, who was presenting the opportunity for a one-time cheating. And I did not consider it for more than a couple minutes :-) My rel with my girl is too valuable to give up on at this point, when I weigh the balance of my particular situation.

However, all of that said, if you don't find your girl to be enjoyable to be with, because she's mean and you can't find your way to getting her back in line, then you're in trouble and you may need to get out. All the tools in this sub, however, should be able to help you get that under control, driving her to be both less mean and also take better care of her body.

But again, if the work isn't worth the effort, if you feel like you will get more meaning and satisfaction out of life not being in the relationship, like the world will be a better place for it, then god speed.

In either case, best of luck.

dDiegoDLV · 2018-09-05T15:59:19+00:00

You're with a gf that is both not attractive to you and a bitch? GTFO

Sounds like you're a good dad. Maybe you can get 1/2 custody. (Maybe there are social media posts form her talking about what a great dad you are? if so save them)

All the divorce stuff TRP warns about is real. If you are as unhappy as you sound in this post it is going to end within a few years anyway when you are so miserable you cant take it any more. Might as well plan your exit. Good Luck.

Lateralanouncer · 2018-09-06T08:29:47+00:00

Look bro. I went through This worked my but off and wanted to take a brake after slaving my ass off for a decade. She divorced me 3 months after. Woman do not give a shit about us men. She doesn’t value you, your time what you provide, anything you have to offer. She will drop you in a heart beat and be supported by everyone, while you are the bad guy. loose your job, what ever, your done, out the door sleeping in your car. My good friend broke both his legs and had to spend 4 months in hospital, his wife hired a baby sitter went clubbing and jumped on a few cocks while he was in hospital she didn’t care they had kids she didn’t work.

Other comments on this sub have advised u to suck it up u made the decision. I believe that is a double standard. You need to use your time wisely, be prepared for divorce and test if she will stay through a hard financial situation, assuming you are the man of the house and have your shit together.

Your life is your life.

[deleted] · 2018-09-07T01:29:13+00:00

Do not buy the entire Wal-Mart corporation because you like Wal-Mart brand cereal.

Do not marry because you want the sex.

TheCreatorOfCritical · 2018-09-07T18:00:17+00:00

So do you not like what's beneath her surface enough to justify her body being destroyed by children as expected? Seems like you just married a trophy wife with about as much personality as yourself if all you have to complain about is her looks? What about her? Is she a bitch or is she kind and loving? That's where the magic is. Every dime turns into a nickel man.

waverlyposter · 2018-09-13T05:08:39+00:00

Hint: Choosing the right women is THE most important decision you make in your life. Fuck it up and you will be in hell for a long time.

posyjosie · 2018-09-16T04:46:39+00:00

Imagine hating the person who helped give you your kids this much? Maybe that's why she's mean to you dude, she can tell you think she's disgusting.

StimulisRK · 2018-09-25T04:21:14+00:00

I can't imagine being this conceited and shallow lol. A small part of me feels bad for you - but most of me feels like you're a pussy who needs to grow tf up. I feel bad for your kids more than anything.

lucajones88 · 2018-09-01T06:28:06+00:00

Also 30 and have never looked better, I honestly can’t remember the last time I met a woman my age who was attractive.

They are out there, but their SMV is now so high because so many guys get shamed into dating women over 25 by hags that they are too much effort.

I’ll probably date <25yo until I’m unable to hook that shit up any more.

Jbug311 · 2018-09-01T04:53:32+00:00

Her body got wrecked having your kids. Do you love your kids? Or do you love yourself so much you simply don’t have anymore left for anyone else?You’re an asshole for talking shit about her to random internet strangers. Grow a pair and tell her exactly how you feel. Better yet, let her read your post. If you’re that miserable and she’s that awful to be around quit being a pussy and do something about it. You’re a great looking dude with a big dick right? You shouldn’t have any trouble finding some tail.

simplisticallysimple · 2018-09-01T04:33:16+00:00

Of course women want to get married by hook or by crook. It's her only way of still retaining her man once her beauty fades; you think she'd keep you with her charming personality? No. She'd use the power of the state and hold your wealth and income ransom, so you can't leave her even after she has nothing to offer you, not even her looks.

How many women are really confident of retaining a man's commitment just based on merit alone? This is exactly why so many women do a 180-degree face turn the moment you put a wedding ring on them. At that point, they've already achieved their goal, you're locked in legally with nowhere to run to, and they can now be as fat and bitchy as they want and be financially rewarded handsomely if you dare complain.

This is why I don't understand men who voluntarily submit to marriage. You're born free, yet you choose to sign up for lifelong slavery and work on the plantation, putting your signature on an agreement that protects another person's interests at the expense of your own. Not only are you financially boxed in, but you can't even date other women while you're at it, so no matter how rich or successful you become, you can never upgrade without seriously jeopardizing that very newfound success. In other words, whatever financial success you obtain once you're married belongs to her.

What kind of stupid man would work hard to succeed if they knew that whatever success that resulted from their blood and sweat can and will be taken away by another person? Why would he have the motivation to excel financially? So that his parasitic so-called "stay-at-home" wife can buy the latest Hermes bag just to compete with her girl pals who've all snagged professional (but romantically-inexperienced) spouses who're worked to death as it is?

This is one of those mysteries of the universe that I'll never understand. Rational human beings all strive to lower their income tax rates as much as possible, yet here we have a whole class of men who choose to work like a dog only to have the majority of his earnings be spent on anyone other than himself. We're talking easily a de facto 70-80% income tax rate. Might as well be communism at that point.

Tell me, how much of a married man's hard-earned dollar actually goes to himself? What's his REAL take-home pay? I think married men reading these don't even dare to think about these questions. It's mind-boggling.

You lot should be ashamed of how thirsty you are. You have no self-respect, no masculine qualities whatsoever, and no common sense. Happy living an entire lifetime of self-abasement and indentured servitude. You all deserve it.

VillagersUnite · 2018-09-01T00:34:50+00:00

Good shit on keeping in shape. You would've had a hell of a worse time than you are now if you didn't.

[deleted] · 2018-09-01T14:20:48+00:00

It’s really obvious that you don’t frequent married red pill. If you do then shame on you because your wife being negative is all on you. All of the readings teach it and with enough attention to detail you’ll see that your wife behaves however you let her. If your wife is negative to you it’s because she doesn’t respect you and that’s your fault for not being respectable. This wasn’t post a RP lesson. This was a glorified victim puke and nothing more.

ElloGovna_ · 2018-09-01T19:19:10+00:00

“My wife is ugly” that’s about all I got from this

Bojack101 · 2018-09-01T10:06:08+00:00

Does anybody actually believe this larp shit lmao

DTreatz · 2018-09-01T11:46:40+00:00

Question

" his is a big deal to a lot of men, myself included, and I'll share these things because I think too many men are NOT aware of what pregnancy and motherhood does to a woman's body. It completelt fucks it up. Ruins it. "

I want some scientific data if anyone has any because I'm not buying it, is there any data that says the weight women gain from pregnancy is any different than weight gained from overeating? I understand the hormones affect their biology throughout pregnancy and post-pregnancy for some time, but permanently after? I'm unconvinced, especially because I see women with kids who still look good post pregnancy, which convinces me it's more work effort, also stretch marks can be prevented if you maintain skin health throughout pregnancy

MasculineHapa · 2018-09-01T13:19:11+00:00

Thank you for your honest representation of what many of us go through. This forum is great for many things, and it’s sucks at a lot. But honesty for men is one of its great attributes. A lot of us didn’t choose the married life: the married life chose us. Fair to say that women and men have totally different goals for life, lots of times. It shows as we age, and if we marry her early in lives, as I did too, you and she will change, and often in different and conflicting ways.

However, the penalty for wanting to allow change and maintain a happy personality is court-decided, and punitive for men.

jinglebells89 · 2018-09-01T21:31:11+00:00

I think guys could get past the physcial if it wasn't for the f*cking attitude that usually accompanies it. Think about it. How many women have you looked at and thought "this woman is ruining such a good thing by acting like a cunt".

WhatRemainsAfter · 2018-09-02T19:26:15+00:00

If you think divorce is the way, you're wrong . You will be fucked for the rest of your life. Scars never heal properly. Forget about pleasures, you will long for a laugh a day 10 years down the line.

Stop thinking with your dick. You think like my rabbit who just wants to fuck. Be the captain. Take control. You can change her behaviour. Go on adventures together, try new things - esp in bed. If sex is not great then it is because you are boring. Not her. Stop playing the blame game. Your life is miserable because you are the cause. You change, life changes.

Good luck. Be wise. Don't let animal instincts lead you. Be human. We have the smartest brain in the whole universe. Use it for once. (;

ex_addict_bro · 2018-09-01T07:01:35+00:00

Can confirm about the body. Make pregnant while they’re young.

Can confirm about light switch effect and betaization. This is a built in mechanism, she leaves you and has children with someone else for bigger genetic variability.

Treat all relationships as temporary. Time or nature or another man, doesn’t matter. Everything comes and goes. Use the marriage and pregnancy example to gain perspective.

I’ve seen a meme yesterday that seems to be more true the more I think about it. “There’s only one gender. Women are property”. Perspective, aight

Youngyoda89 · 2018-09-01T03:32:26+00:00

This is something I’ve actually spent a lot of time thinking about. This is one reason why I’d be slightly worried about having kids. For me, I want to be with a woman for the rest of my life. Once I pump, maybe 3, babies into her; I’d like for her to still be attractive. I’ve been with her for 6 years and we have no kids.

Her perfect body has already slipped. She’s up 20 lbs if pure fat and on top of that lost all of her muscle tone and, I repeat, we have no kids yet. I can’t see her getting any better, but honestly I don’t want to leave her for that reason alone. I’m certainly not as attracted to her as I once was but I don’t have the heart to overtly tell her that. I’ve encouraged her to eat healthy and workout but it seems nothing works; so far.

My only thought is that after I get done using her body to bear my children that I pay for her to have some cosmetic surgeries. To me- it would absolutely be worth it.

xcrazytx · 2018-09-01T03:57:26+00:00

Ya I'm teetering between this one. I love the freedom of being single but having a life partner, if it worked out and she didn't turn into a cunt, would be cool. Just the depth of that kinda relationship

Luckyluke23 · 2018-09-01T06:26:26+00:00

I married a cute girl, she turned into a harpy. Her once sexy body quickly deteriorated

I was thinking, maybe it's due to the fact she knows she won't be able to get alphas anymore and YOU ( not be a fault) ruined her?

coffeecreamer06 · 2018-09-01T06:30:24+00:00

I don't think i want kids anymore... Fuck... 😅

Xornor · 2018-09-01T08:00:14+00:00

Ok. I am now even more happy that we did not produce any kids. That was the best decision in my life. Women are behaving nicely and are quite good looking even around age of 50 if they do not make kids.

My advice for younger men is that never marry and never make kids - you will be much much happier. Your SO will be good looking and kind whole your life. Your life will be better when woman thinks that you can leave any time.

[deleted] · 2018-09-01T13:14:21+00:00

So what do you suggest? That we don’t have kids? That we don’t stay married to the mothers of our children?

RedSkeller · 2018-09-01T13:30:25+00:00

Long time ago I met a chick off tinder who was 21 (about 6 years younger at the time) who looked pretty damn cute. I had just begun my RP days at the time, only to find out on the first date she had a couple kids and gave them up for adoption. I really didn't care because I was thirstier than a cactus in summer after an extended bout of travel and isolation - I was ready to beat the breaks off some puss.

Then she got undressed - tits pretty destroyed, not horrible, just stretch marks. Had some decent amount of stretch marks around flanks, the usual collateral damage from pregnancy. Hemorrhoids from pushing those monsters out, you get the idea. I ended up looking it up later on Reddit and there were quite a few stories where the first baby absolutely ruined some beautiful women. Some women are just one and done - no amount of exercise will save them, and the only option is surgery so then you come out looking like a patchwork skin doll.

Needless to say, we didn't last long as she was a total headcase and when she started rolling her eyes at things I was saying I knew it was time to dip. Last time I checked she was posting on facebook about a guy who allegedly 'raped' her so I think I did well.

thatbrofoshow · 2018-09-01T13:31:37+00:00

I suggest having her see a hormone doctor to check up on things. HRT is just as important for women as men.

[deleted] · 2018-09-01T13:51:23+00:00

Can confirm this is exactly what happens to them they have a few kids lose the attractiveness they once had then moan and groan, I dumped mine and never looked back. moved in with my dad who by luck had just thrown my mother out.

xeroshogun · 2018-09-01T13:56:44+00:00

Dude just buy her new tits. Problem solved

safa61947 · 2018-09-01T14:17:10+00:00

Thank you for writing this post. You're right, most people don't talk about marriage this way. They usually tell how good is their life, and I, single, on my 30s, keep suspecting "wtf my life is a mess and they guys living this fairy tale?"

You stressed some negative aspects, I thank you deeply to put this so objectively, but maybe you were a bit dry with your own story and your wife.

I'm just a lurker here and I want to talk to the human here. I don't buy this TRP wholesome philosophy because I'm a free mind and I take what I want from packed ideologies.

Anyway, I know you didn't ask for advice, but I thought of stating the obvious and give some back since you're helping us single guys.

Just quick tips: stop having sex with her if you're not into her anymore. This will be a wake up call for both of you. I once read a real story of a guy who saved his marriage by asking his wife every day: "what can I do to make your day better?" He did it for a few months. The first day she asked him to clear the garage, and no matter how hard it was, he at least tried to make what she asked him.

I'm sure it's not all that dreadful, there's a bitter resentment in your post, you have kids and they're probably worth, you have a family after all. You said you were doing great but I'm sure you can improve in some ways. Girls do not care much about exterior appearance, maybe you can be nicer to your girlfriend-now-wife.

Not trying to teach you back anything, just giving some positive feedback. I think your post is really valuable for single men like myself.

alanpartridge69 · 2018-09-01T14:59:41+00:00

Sexy breasts I stopped reading.

red_matrix · 2018-09-01T18:23:48+00:00

OP most women I've met over 30 have cunty, overly entitled attitudes. Some of them keep heir bodies in check and exercise regularly and have those tight little yoga bodies - but their entitlement is off the charts.

Constatine7 · 2018-09-01T22:42:37+00:00

I'm quite an expert in physiology. I'm not going to prove it, take my advice or don't. Getting pregnant multiple times will put some stress on the body, but by no means will it fuck it up by itself. My guess is that her diet is a terrible fad diet, her lifestyle is terrible (doesn't workout enough, doesn't get enough sun exposure, which increases progesterone and benefits the mitochondria), and she is becoming hypothyroid which reduces all of the youth hormones such as progesterone, dhea and dhea-s, and pregnenolone. She is also probably consuming a lot of polyunsaturated fats (PUFA) which again leads to hypothyroidism, hormonal problems, and stress on the antioxidants system due to higher lipid peroxidation. Cook with coconut oil, olive oil, or butter and nothing else (coconut oil benefits the thyroid and has high antioxidant value so it's probably the best). Do not cook with veg oil. Eat a fair amount if carbs, if your wife is on a no carb fad that can be a reason for her deteoration. Make sure she doesn't under-eat either. Undereating is very common for older women as they try to keep their bodies but it just further worsens the problem. And have her get a good natural tan, sun exposure is very important for hormonal and mitochondrial health which prevents aging and improves body composition.

[deleted] · 2018-09-02T09:39:18+00:00

This is why I don't want to get married for a longgggg time and want to marry a much younger girl.

scissor_me_timbers00 · 2018-09-01T04:39:25+00:00

I think the question here is how well you’re doing in your job/career? Because if you suck out there, then from her perspective she gave up her beauty and sexiness and therefore power and potential for a loser or semi loser who has now proven to only be able to provide a mediocre life.

She’s well aware of her destroyed body and knows that her options are basically over in life now. If you are sucking, that explains her shiftiness.

However, if you’re doing well out there and providing a decent living for your family, then she is just taking out her shitty feelings about herself on you. Fuck her if that’s the case.

I know that for a man to go out and make a good living for his family is difficult to do, and is majorly taken for granted by women. So I’m not saying your responsibility to be some daddy warbucks. But the street does go both ways. Women can have some serious expectations on their men if they’re going to destroy their bodies to bear their children. It’s not just us having expectations on them.

John9249 · 2018-09-01T04:37:57+00:00

Damn I got lucky I guess. 3 kids including twins and my wife barely has stretch marks! Wieghs 95lbs breast are still perky but nips are a bit bigger. Has six pack, ab veins, and a great ass. 30 years old now barely works out and eats chocolate daily. She's just lucky. I on the other hand drive by McDonald's and gain 5lbs.

It all comes down to genetics and you can really never know (her mom was destroyed after kids) what they will look like after a few humans come out of them I guess.

Foobyx · 2018-09-01T05:08:36+00:00

Damn, thanks for your words man.

Chris9015 · 2018-09-01T07:39:56+00:00

Talk to your wife and work things out!

hihidolly · 2018-09-01T07:44:45+00:00

brutal. but damn... thanks for the honest post.

EdmondDaunts · 2018-09-01T08:24:01+00:00

I’ve been watching some videos about low carb and eating saturated fat. Low carb is good on your rest days and it’s a good change to try it. I’ve been doing it for a while now.

From the videos, the effect of women eating saturated fat is nuts. It actually restores lots of hormone imbalances and if done properly gets them to lose weight by having better satiety.

Get her lifting and eating right. You may see some changes. Why not?

gixxerthouguy · 2018-09-01T08:25:04+00:00

Bro check out Married Red Pill sub if you haven't already. I went there first, then here. Divorced twice, will never do it again.

menial_optimist · 2018-09-01T08:28:55+00:00

Lol my friends wife was the same way, but because of baby + junk food eating. I mean when they met she was healthy weight, cute little butt etc but let herself go once marriage happened (she pressured him for quite awhile) and gained and gained. The pregnancy only fattened her up even more. She must be 180-190 at 5"3. My buddy spent decades hating on fat chicks and how gross they are but now that his wife is one he still says in confidence he "finds her sexy naked" and that she turns him on. I think he's just trying to convince himself everythings a-ok and he's satisfied but he isn't.

konfettiboy · 2018-09-01T09:15:42+00:00

So you stay with her for the kids? Don't you think your kids will notice that you hate your wife and yourself?

Being a divorced but happy dad sounds like a better alternative to me.

ohyasurewhatever · 2018-09-01T12:39:37+00:00

If your wife read this what would happen?

NutmegPluto · 2018-09-01T13:05:52+00:00

Good goy, stop having children

SKRedPill · 2018-09-03T05:16:02+00:00

Question : Did you even TRY to get her to start lifting and yoga? Hint : She's not going to do it on her own because she'll be enjoying the rush of worrying about the process, kids, diapers, laundry, shopping, bills, what she imagines you think about her, disgusted that she's no longer pretty, fear of losing everything, overwhelmed by the thought that it might take years of working out to get her body back, and worried that all this worrying is going to ruin her day (yes worried about being worried) -- and yet she would rather feel the rush of emotion than actually recognizing that she can do something about it and better should.

TL : DR - the everything box.

Dude, you need to bring in some more masculinity to put her back in order. Negative thinking and emotions are a poison that becomes addictive nevertheless. What you eat to gain muscles is only one part of diet, the mental diet is just as important.

And what about your own body? Did you take a look in the mirror? You might be getting fat, having a receding hairline, you might have forgotten the whole art of attraction (of how you started escalating from a date and led it up to sex, whereas after marriage it's probably just do it like masturbating before sleep). By the way, how much do you sleep? Sleep deprivation and low energy levels is usually a big factor in all this.

What about your mind? Most people think 20000 thoughts in a day, much of which is negative BS and the same as yesterday. By that I also mean emotion, because feelings are just juicier forms of the same force - your mind.

Most relationships improve only when the man improves himself first and then expects his wife to step up rather than just letting her seethe in her emotions and make a lot of noise, but nothing else.

When your wife is too busy swimming in her pain and worry instead of doing something about it, there's no more room for Mr. Nice Guy. You need to become the drill sergeant that takes her shit and makes her turn it into manure for a better garden. She'll work out if she realizes there's no other choice. She'll be forced to think positive for a change if you insist on a mental workout every morning. She'll give you an epic resentment shit test. She will, like a truant child, say that you're oppressive and what not. When her body and her mood get back into shape, she'll one day tell her kids how strong you are that you won't take any shit and you should be respected. Sorry, masculine love has never been Mr. Nice Guy. It's always Mr. Leader who knows what's good for you. You've got to ramp up the strictness and take no shit. You don't ask her for how she feels about it, you order her to do it. And if she's worried about something, you will tell her what you're gonna do about that, but she's working out now, no excuses.

Women...they're just like kids. Without a strong masculine, they'll just sink.

JJ3314 · 2018-09-03T22:31:38+00:00

You’re making a decent case for (limited) polygamy in society. Not arab king style, where women are hoarded, but to help men who’s wives have hit the wall hard and early, but still want to maintain a home for the kids.

It sounds like elements to her personality don’t help—not that being a sweet, kind woman, suddenly makes a post-wall woman sexy, but a lousy attitude on a post-wall woman can make things worse.

Have sex with the lights off, so you don’t see her flaws so much. Don’t jerk off to porn—if you’re a bit more sex-starved by not getting release so regularly, marginally attractive women start to look better by the sheer power of male hormones.

Encourage her to lift, which can help work against gravity. This part is hard though, because she has to be motivated herself. You might have to bite the bullet and workout with her, and make it seem like a couples thing, as demoralizing as that sounds.

TryDoingSomethingNew · 2018-09-04T16:57:39+00:00

> And fuck a pussy I am disgusted by for the rest of my earthly days while those of my bro's who were smart enough not to get locked down continue to fuck hot twenty-something pussy and discarding it when necessary.

Sorry, my friend. Thank you for sharing.

Just curious, how bad is her cooch after 2 kids? Stretched out and very loose? I don't have a frame of reference so I'd love to know.

Tough situation, man. I hope you can maybe get her some cosmetic surgery or something.

adeptintact · 2018-09-05T02:44:02+00:00

Divorce her. Life is too short to be miserable.

[deleted] · 2018-09-05T10:21:56+00:00

Should have stopped after the first kid. Why have bunch of kids in a first place? One is more than enough. Kids do not happen in accident either. There's contraception and other stuff for males to make them sterile.

You got into this situation yourself and everybody knows that women deteriorate after pregnancy much faster. It is public knowledge. Just like divorce rape. Nowadays all men are aware of it more or less just that many men seem to not give a fuck until they get burned.

Sure she can work out and have nicier body but did she? She didn't. Reap what you sow. Your tale isn't a warning but seems like a blog post of how you fucked up. Good luck.

maeveko · 2018-09-05T20:32:15+00:00

Post like this makes me want to go child free and WGTOW

plascra · 2018-09-07T15:59:54+00:00

You clearly do not understand sexual polarity.

Your wife mirrors you. Container and water.

CulinaryKings · 2018-09-09T20:39:08+00:00

Interesting read...

If you stay in something like that then you're choosing to be a cuck honestly.

Not cause she's not attractive enough. Not cause she's mean.

But because he doesn't seem to respect the person he is if he's staying in that relationship.

Yes society might judge you. Something might go wrong with a divorce. Same if you try and tell her you want something different from the relationship. But there's nothing worse that becoming someone you can no longer respect.

And so there's nothing more important in life than managing your own actions and the ones of those around you to ensure you don't become bitter and resentful towards the world.

He's not helping the kid either. The kid needs to see that his father respects himself and doesn't let agonizing resentment chip away at his soul until the day he dies.

The kid doesn't need to see two people who hate each other stay together. And neither does society.

Back in the days it would benefit to society, and yeah a stable family life is very fucking useful for a kid.

But this sounds nothing like stability or a loving home for the kids to grow up in.

If you want to be of value to the world; your workplace, your friends, your partner(s), society then you can't be encumbered by this kind of toxicity.

It doesn't matter the reason, it matters how you feel.

It doesn't matter the consequences, only that you act with dignity and respect towards yourself and others.

Break the fuck up with her if it's messing with your head that much. Or negotiate an open relationship.

Anything but becoming a bitter and resentful old man.

MAGA_IowaPede · 2018-09-12T01:39:04+00:00

My wife is currently prego with out 2nd. Shit gets tough especially with her being moody and tired but that's what I signed up for. We were fighting a good deal a while ago so she pushed us to go to marriage counseling and it's really helped. The female therapist we have basically just listened and told us ways to fix shit day to day. Changed things 180 degrees and we've been doing great. Didn't take sides at all and just dealt with our points of conflict. Honestly 3 years ago I would call me a pussy for suggesting it but maybe invest a little time with a therapist. Couldn't hurt and could make things 100x better after a few sessions. I think the biggest benefit is my wife gets to feel like she's heard and the ratchets down the drama to try and get attention. Good luck

cconcha · 2018-09-13T21:40:29+00:00

Sad to hear my man. Do what truely makes you happy and talk to your wife because it seems their are a lot of underlying issues. Make the most while you're young fellas.

Anonymous-O · 2018-09-25T18:06:39+00:00

When you say you still have sex regularly, is it you or her initiating it? I ask because I want to know if despite her shitty attitude she still desires you.

brethrenelementary · 2018-09-01T03:51:05+00:00

Have you thought about divorcing her? It's not too late. You sound miserable and even though you'll lose a lot of money, it might be worth it for the freedom and happiness. I don't think things will get any better with your wife.

Constrictorboa · 2018-09-01T16:26:38+00:00

She's likely a harpy because she feels the same way about her body that you do. No woman wants to look in the mirror and see a crone. She's mean to you because she knows how you feel about her body.

Shaman6624 · 2018-09-01T07:43:13+00:00

Huh but why did her behaviour also become bad? She should do anything for you cause the SMV gap has increased so much and you're on top..

RedditForFreeSpeech · 2018-09-01T13:04:48+00:00

Only marry a woman of similar ethnic and cultural background. Make sure she’s under 25 and her parents are still married and her dad provided decent leadership for the family. Never marry a single mother. Make sure she’s healthy and can have children. See how her mother looks because that will be a sign of how she’s going to age. Marriage is first and foremost for having children and keeping a woman from becoming a childless feminist like Angela Merkel.

voomer53 · 2018-09-01T14:24:10+00:00

It's up to her to stay attractive. That's her end of the deal. You've got to keep paying, she needs to stay attractive.. to keep you satisfied and motivated. Contract broken. No entitled female free lunches allowed.

Karlore473 · 2018-09-01T15:47:00+00:00

stretch marks fade retard. and she was never hot if shes ugly at 30. but i guess strange things can happen to a woman in your head

319Skew · 2018-09-01T21:23:39+00:00

The state of mind bothers me. A woman that has given up on her looks knows that her man isn't going anywhere and her being a bitch to you is just reinforcing that statement.

Apply dread and start to flirt, tease other women. Be prepared to walk away from it all though and once gone, you'll be shunned but at least you'll be free.

However, if she notices that you're the masculine red pilled guy, you'll see that she'll come around and start to take care of herself. Don't negotiate attraction and never tell her what you want her to do but make it apparent that you still have options.

But know this, if/when she decides to test your mantle and you fail, you'll lose that chance and the balls on her court for taking the kids and half your shit. So weight that choice heavily when making your play and make no mistake it's up to you to take ownership and act on this debacle you're in.

Best of luck.

JazzonBH · 2018-09-01T10:48:44+00:00

This may be an unpopular opinion (hell, I don't even know if I fully stand behind it), but the way that woman age way worse than men seems to actually justify why the divorce system works so heavily in their favor (with them keeping the kids and the money and all).

It's almost like it's expected of a man to go seek out a more suitable partner for himself once his first wife starts getting saggy, while he remains fit.

Even as red pilled, it's important to see both sides of a story.

SasquatchMcKraken · 2018-09-01T19:30:50+00:00

As bad as this is, if and when she starts getting physically desirable again you can guarantee she's got someone in the wings. Don't just assume it's Christmas in July and she's finally come around to you. In fact I'd craft a divorce plan right now with the primary trigger in mind being infidelity.

SwagnumMagnum · 2018-09-01T07:00:04+00:00

Just cheat and keep in on the DL.

whitesocks2000 · 2018-09-01T03:51:59+00:00

Mommy make over 12 k maybe less, and everything looks good as new maybe better, and you should get a vasectomy. Poor person problem, if anything you young bloods should learn to either earn enough to get married and have kids the proper way. Or be evolutionarily erased and let the alphas breed.

victor_knight · 2018-09-01T11:39:57+00:00

Now for the rest of my life, provided we do not divorce or whatever (which, in some ways, would even feel like a release)

Divorced guy here (two boys). Yes, it's an unbelievable release. There's no going back, seriously. Marriage is off the table (for life). Even under the "best" circumstances with the "perfect" woman. Off the table. Amen.

Kizzou · 2018-09-01T13:28:38+00:00

Can you get her to start taking care of her body/health? A women can do this even after a few kids. Sounds like an excuse to me

[deleted] · 2018-09-01T13:51:55+00:00

OP, I understand where you're coming from, although I question your concern about the sex life. I know its probably frowned upon to say, but have you considered using an escort for her time every now and then to get your needs met?

Also, consider being the one to organise the counselling sessions, message (so you have it in writing) in a nice amicable way that you'd like to arrange for 3 counselling sessions. Say we'll do one session as a trial, and decide if we want to do 2 more. Ask her if she's OK with this?

The sessions will either help or not do much... but even if they don't help you will have in writing... written proof that you were proactively looking to help the marriage right up to the end... which will be useful for anything to do with the divorce.

But yea, its often frowned upon, but if you need some tight pussy for an hour, just pay for it, while you try to sort out your marriage... it will help keep you level.

[deleted] · 2018-09-01T18:52:26+00:00

In the same boat. Enjoy your freedom my dudes.

iamnotfromtexas90 · 2018-09-01T04:28:45+00:00

Jesus, this red pill has to be one of the harshest yet.

Jesus....

I'm still choking...

chazthundergut · 2018-09-01T12:18:24+00:00

Dude go get some side pussy. It is probably the best thing you can do for your marriage at this point.

And start saving up so your wife can get some minor work done. Youd be surprised how nice some of these fake boobs are now.

Ereuel · 2018-09-01T21:30:46+00:00

So attraction and love is purely physical to you? Really? This woman carries and feeds your children and all you care about is how hot she looks. Well, divorce her so she won't have to be with the immature idiot you are.

adam-l · 2018-09-01T09:17:11+00:00

faithful to a fault, dutiful

That's probably your worst mistake. It's not that you are faithful in practice, but that you are faithful in your mind. That way she becomes your only emotional outlet. And that's a suffocating feeling for a woman.

It doesn't matter how hot you become. She will always detest the feeling that she has to be your emotional anchor - and be a harpy in order to relieve herself of it.

Open up to the possibility of meeting your emotional (and sexual) needs elsewhere. Don't outright cheat, if you don't feel like it (do if you do), but at any rate start light flirting with other women. See how this goes with you.

[deleted] · 2018-09-01T09:35:52+00:00

Who says you have to be single? You can have a fulfilling relationship, just not be married?

whoareyou31 · 2018-09-01T11:05:22+00:00

Man I have such marriage phobia now thanks to this sub and others. I was gonna get married in the next 2 years but now idk wtf to do. Yeah yeah i know what yall gonna say: dont get married. Probably wont now.

shadowq8 · 2018-09-01T17:26:44+00:00

I thought you get married to raise a good family.

SigmaBusiness · 2018-09-01T17:37:35+00:00

Why did you not work on yourself in 20s and grind?

Why did you have kids in 20s? Don't get me wrong, kids can give you a lot of happiness, but it also comes with a lot of responsiblity.
The best investment is always investing on yourself.

The life expectancy is increasing every year and who knows, we will probably live almost till 100.

Life is a marathon and the you are only in the first quarter.

I am 25, but I am not having any kids until 40 when I am fully financially stable and in the highest SMV as possible. Marriage is out of the door anyways, kids are questionable.

MakeMenGreatAgain44 · 2018-09-01T17:57:37+00:00

Bro thanks for the very fucking useful insight into marriage. This is unfortunately a reality. One thing I want to mention is that women nag you and are mean to you when they are insecure. If she's getting fat and realises she has very few options but you and she's not getting much attention from men then she will be mean to you. That's why older women are generally very bitter and nasty. Also she's afraid you will leave her so all this toxicity is meant to make you beta. The more shit you feel the more emotional and the less clearly you think. It actually decreases your testosterone.

So maybe you can withstand this. Maybe for the sake if the kids. Maybe you feel like you have had enough. Why not separate with her and wait for her to file for divorce. You'll be legally married but you live freely as you want.

Title	What nobody tells you about marriage, from a married man
Author	MasculineHapa
Upvotes	890
Comments	485
Date	31 August 2018 11:14 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	TheRedPill
Link	https://theredarchive.com/post/52193
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/9bye5f/what_nobody_tells_you_about_marriage_from_a/