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I decided I’m never going to tell LTR I cheated.

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Red-455
November 12, 2018
72 upvotes
askTRP

It would accomplish nothing make her feel like shit, it’s my load to bear. The problem is I feel like shit around her now because I know she trusts me so much and we live together so I’m around her all the time. It’s hard to look at her. I just feel shitty for betraying someone’s trust. Can anyone speak from experience as to how it gets better?


Post Information
Title I decided I’m never going to tell LTR I cheated.
Author Red-455
Upvotes 72
Comments 183
Date 12 November 2018 03:36 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/53930
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/9wag99/i_decided_im_never_going_to_tell_ltr_i_cheated/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
cheatinglong term relationship
Comments

[–]Bruchibre126 points127 points  (51 children) | Copy

Never confess cheating, even under torture.

It would accomplish nothing make her feel like shit, it’s my load to bear.

Exactly. If you don't have what it takes to cheat, then don't cheat. It's about you not her. You'll forget about it with time. Worst case, break up with her for petty reasons. But never confess.

[–]Red-455 1 points [recovered]  (17 children) | Copy

I hope I’ll forget about it, I know girls are replaceable but I’m an empathetic guy and it makes me sick, just hoping I’ll get over it before our lease is up.

[–]Bruchibre27 points28 points  (0 children) | Copy

What she is oblivious to can't hurt her. You did nothing bad to her directly. Accept it.

People say that the truth always surfaces but I'm the living proof that it's not true. Depends on how good you are at keeping stuff for yourself.

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (15 children) | Copy

She's probably done the same thing to you.

[–]omega_dawg938 points9 points  (8 children) | Copy

AMEN!!! this is the truth, but as expected, you're getting down-voted.

AWALT!!! remember that, motherfuckers?!?!?

all women, if they haven't cheated, have thought about it and likely gotten very close to cheating MULTIPLE times while being, "in love, in an LTR," etc.

bottom line: "it didn't count," is REAL in female world, and as long as she breathes oxygen and is affected by gravity, she has had LOTS of chances to cheat and likely has. they convince themselves that... using a condom, oral only, anal only, didn't cum inside, just a handjob, 'it was just a fuck with no emotions,' etc. are all NOT cheating. "it didn't count!!!"

GTFOOH putting ANY woman above what MOST women have done. AWALT! they're human and they cheat just as often as men do; they're not 'innocent' or special... just cheat for different reasons, and THEY'RE MUCH BETTER AT HIDING IT THAN MEN.

​

source: i have 3 sisters and they all have lots of friends. i was the young brat brother who saw how they operated (AND STILL OPERATE) when they lie about how much dick they service. video footage from a bachelorette party would likely make 80% of you guys cry or throw-up in your mouths. women love to fuck... think about it all the time... and when the time (and available chad) is right, they fuck. get over it.

[–]mountainbiker1784 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

When you're with a girl who treats you right, a voice in your mind tries to convince you she's a unicorn, which is why what you're saying is always necessary to remember!

[–]omega_dawg935 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

true. but my girl knows i know about the true nature of women and she keeps it real with me.

she knows that i know she and her friends get dick offers all day every day... and that she's free to do whatever the fuck she wants... good or bad. I'm not in the business of controlling female behavior.

all she needs to know is that her behavior has consequences and if she disrespects me, we are done. she's free to choose knowing i will move on without a care.

[–]redvelvet_oreo-2 points-1 points  (5 children) | Copy

You sound like your stuck in Anger Phase. If you play your cards right and be an actual man chances are she is less likely inclined to cheat on you. Is it always a possibility yes but this is not your focus. Knowing about AWALT and the hamster wheel just makes you aware of what can happen and what’s considered normal female behavior. Being Red Pilled means you also have or slowly are cultivating a abundance mindset. If one woman decides to cheat on you oh well her loss. The only thing worth dwelling on is where did you go wrong and how to correct it next time. Sometimes you can do everything right and shit just happens. You just find another chick or use another plate if you have side dishes. That’s all. There’s plenty of women in the world. There is no reason to stay an angry asshole over female behavioral traits. You understand them and have to accept it for what it is.

[–]omega_dawg939 points10 points  (4 children) | Copy

save the preaching... 50 yrs old and been red pill aware before it was even called red pill.

my sisters red pilled me by showing me true female behavior before i was 20yo. there is no anger phase just, "that's how they are" phase.

they lie, cheat & manipulate... deceive all day every day. i watched it... saw guys cheated on daily. saw fake tears on command etc. it's all a game to them.

and yes they fuck a lot.

if I'm mad at anything it's guys holding themselves to some high moral code and expecting women to do the same.

they can't. they won't. they don't. nature doesn't allow them to when a better deal (man) is giving them attention.

[–]redvelvet_oreo-5 points-4 points  (3 children) | Copy

Lol ok you bitter old man. Men do fucked up shit to. I doubt you been “red pilled” all your life and are still this angry at women. Sounds like you need some pussy in your life.

[–]omega_dawg931 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

lol. when people resort to personal attacks, they're done...

pussy fixes it all huh?

you have to be female.

  1. "men do it too" isn't equivalent to true female nature.
  2. telling the truth about female nature (hypergamy) has nothing to do with anger.
  3. last... the magical vagina can fix any man's problems. anyone heard that before? you're ain't special... none of them are.

you're delusional. do you even know what the red pill was before people started making $ off if it? Google "rosebud bitterdose" and hear everything you read about red pill... before it was red pill.

"i am the prize," and knowing that every woman is some guy's slut is old street game. STFU.

this shit is new to y'all... not me.

[–]redvelvet_oreo0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

What’s your point? You sound bitter and angry as fuck over women’s naturl behavior. If you been in the game so long why do you sound so bitter and upset about it all?

You think you would have worked out most of these things on your own by now being 50. Instead your here still ranting and bitching about the fundamentals.

Best of luck to you old man..

[–]omega_dawg931 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

if you think i sound bitter and angry that's on you. thats how you are feeling about what i typed. YOU are responsible for how you read and interpret what i type... not me.

i could be laughing and smiling about what i already know to be true. maybe the harsh truth hurts you. idk. idc.

yeah... 50 and working on 51 and healthy. don't get mad or jealous.,. you might make it here one day-if you're lucky.

[–]Bruchibre9 points10 points  (5 children) | Copy

She probably hasn't. You say that because you think that:

  1. he cheated = he doesn't love her = she doesn't love him = he cheated
  2. you believe in karma and want him to be punished

[–]friendandadvisor-1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy

Wrong.

  1. I don't believe in karma, and I do want him to be unstupided.

  2. If you think that I'm factoring 'her loving/not loving' him into any equation in this scenario, you are more confused than you can imagine.

You can't get a grasp on his situation, with all of the information that he wrote; yet, you think that you can properly interpret my motivations from what I wrote? LOL.

[–]Bruchibre7 points8 points  (3 children) | Copy

Well, yes. It’s called reading between the lines.

[–]friendandadvisor1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

LOL! In this case, it can be called 'Making Up Shit out of Whole Cloth'.

As I've demonstrated, your CSI:ASKTRP skills are faulty.

[–]Bruchibre-2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah my gf also often accuses me of making shit up.

This being said you haven’t demonstrated much. I might still be 100% right.

[–]omega_dawg930 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

and you still might be 100% wrong. vaginas don't make them 'innocent.' vaginas make them female human beings.

[–]ecchi_baka 1 points [recovered]  (10 children) | Copy

There might be a term for an individual who manipulates and lies to others with zero accountability and remorse... May all the important people in your life treat you with the same callous dishonesty. You must be lonely floating in your abyss of treacherous egotism.

[–]Bruchibre8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

There might be a term for an individual who manipulates and lies to others with zero accountability and remorse...

I would say either psychopaths or sociopaths.

May all the important people in your life treat you with the same callous dishonesty. You must be lonely floating in your abyss of treacherous egotism.

May all the important people in your life treat you with the same condescending tone when you will confess any of your flaws

You must be lonely floating in your abyss of treacherous egotism.

Actually I'm a social butterfly. I have lots of different groups of friends, have a very busy social life, a very cool girlfriend, a loving family. My treacherous egotism is my well hidden little secret.

[–]ecchi_baka0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

"May all the important people in your life treat you with the same condescending tone when you will confess any of your flaws"

Lol! You may have confessed to the degenerate behavior but ,again, You have shown no remorse or guilt and instead continue to defend your dishonest and toxic behaviors out of insecurity. That's not how you make amends or apologize. Didn't your mother teach you better? Try again.

Further more, what you read as condescension was me pulling my punches in an attempt to be civil with someone who does not extend the same considerations to others by their own admission. People like you sicken me, yet I still try to engage them with a certain level of decorum. You have made me regret treating you better than you deserve. Congratulations!

"Actually I'm a social butterfly. I have lots of different groups of friends, have a very busy social life, a very cool girlfriend, a loving family. My treacherous egotism is my well hidden little secret."

Do you really have so little self awareness? Sociopaths VERY OFTEN are extremely charismatic social butterflies with large circles of friends and admirers. They also VERY OFTEN hide their sociopath status or egotism as a closely guarded secret. And since we have already established you enjoy manipulating others for shallow personal gain without guilt or remorse... You're just flying down the list! And whats more, you seem to be proud of it. People like you don't have friends. They don't know the meaning of the word. You have living props you selfishly use to validate yourself. That's not friendship... Not even close. And by the way genius, I was using the "abyss" as a metaphor for your inability to connect to anyone because they don't actually know you as a result of your behaviors. So the fact that you interact with many people you call "friends" doesn't really counter my point. Kinda walked into that one huh?

Feel free to respond. I doubt I will reply to whatever nonsense you have to offer unless I'm feeling particularly bored or charitable. I make a habit of cutting manipulators out of my life.

Have a wonderful lonely life.

P.S. Just in case you are wondering, THIS TIME I was be purposefully condescending. Winky face!

[–]Bruchibre0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I have respectfully read your whole reply and don't really understand what you are trying to achieve besides maybe White Knighting or venting some personal frustration.

If you don't have what it takes to cheat, then don't cheat.

I'm practicing what I preach... I don't know why you think I came to make a mea culpa to you or should thank you for condescending on me.

You have made me regret treating you better than you deserve. Congratulations!

Thank you so much for your condescendance.

I doubt I will reply to whatever nonsense you have to offer unless I'm feeling particularly bored or charitable.

Thank you so so much for your charity.

I make a habit of cutting manipulators out of my life.

First you bring me in, then you cut me down. What an emotional elevator.

Maybe you are the one who is a manipulative sociopath...

[–]mattyiceheretoentice0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Might want to look up that word remorse before you use it in a sentence

[–]ecchi_baka-1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy

You mean "deep regret or guilt for a wrong committed."? Nope... Nope that's what I meant. But thanks for the advice. I'm sure you meant well kitten. Here is some advice for you. You might want to think twice before sharing your useless nonsense with the world in the future... Considering of course that isn't all you have to offer. K thanks.

[–]mattyiceheretoentice1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Might want to work on your reading comprehension skills then

[–]ecchi_baka-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy

Nope, pretty sure I'm good there as well. You haven't said anything of much value yet. Not to mention, my underlying message is solid and easy to understand even if I have overlooked some small error. So you might want learn to read between lines. Or maybe at least remove whatever uncomfortable object you have inserted into your nether regions. Your choice lover.

[–]mattyiceheretoentice1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Lol whatever you say homegirl

[–]ecchi_baka-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'm glad you finally agree that what I say goes. I knew you'd come around my little muffin top. I can never stay angry with you anyways. You're so cute when you're testy. ;)

[–]Bruchibre0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Solid burn!

You're speechless, you might want to hang out in Relationshipsadvice or Girlies subs instead... here isn't really the right audience for you.

Also do you delete your comments when they get downvoted to oblivious?

hahaha

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Exactly. Humans (especially MEN) were never born for Monogamy. You can pick up History books and nowhere Monogamy was common. We are born to reproduce and fuck as many women as we can in our testosterone driven Age. Just like putting age restrictions on sex is a modern government bullshit, put a Man on bed with a Hot 15 year old Naked girl. I bet my life the Man will get a raging boner. It’s common for us Men to cheat and fuck. Don’t listen to society’s fake monogamy bullshit

[–]Bruchibre6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for explaining, don't worry I'm quite fine.

I believe that humans follow in parallel two reproduction strategies: promiscuous and polygamous.

As a man: to have children, you might either want to fuck as many women as possible. But the kids might die of lack of care. So you might as well focus on one woman and provide for her and the offspring.

As a woman: you want the best genes for your kid to be strong and sharp, so you'd go for the strongest male. But the guy wouldn't stick around so the babies might die. So you might chose not the strongest but the one who has the most to offer and make sure he stays.

(I'm skipping the part when a woman has a baby with a strong and fit man and has another man look after and provide for it).

That's the evolutionary definition of AFBB...

[–]ChadTheWaiter1002 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

That’s so true. As much as any of us would say we’d be able to resist that sexy little minx, none of us would be able to resist if she reached for that boner.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Damn true. All these “illegal below 18” is a ton of government Bullshit

[–]ChadTheWaiter1000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Very fucking stupid if you ask me. Now the ones that look like they’re fucking 10 years old... of course we don’t want nothing to do with them. But some of them look over 20.

[–]CainPrice53 points54 points  (15 children) | Copy

If being with your current girlfriend fills you with negative feelings, just dump her and have sex with other women. Obviously, you're able to have sex with other women. And it's not like the world is going to run out of girlfriends. You'll find others.

[–]Red-455 1 points [recovered]  (13 children) | Copy

Young guy, escaped my parents cult religion, I signed a year lease with her since my tech job is in an expensive city. Stuck.

[–]ChadTheWaiter1000 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

What religion was it bredda? Mormon? Or worse?

[–]Red-455 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

Little bit worse than Mormon, they actively enforce shunning and sex before marriage is cause for shunning so I was celabit and turning down pussy for a LONG time, which is one of the reasons it’s so hard for me to keep my dick in my pants.

[–]ChadTheWaiter1000 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Incredible! I didn’t think there was anything worse than Mormon. Or was it jehovah witness? We’re you a handsome man? It’s very difficult for a handsome man to turn down good pussy.

[–]Red-455 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Jehovah’s wittnesses. I would consider myself a handsome man, however on the thin side.

[–]ChadTheWaiter1001 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You need to get your ass in the gym brother. Up the carbs. Pack on some real masculine mass.

[–]omega_dawg931 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

if he's under 30, he should be spinning plates and having fun any damn way.

when it's time to be committed and monogamous, do it AFTER the ceremony... not now.

have fun, date around, fuck a bunch of broads... because women today are having fun, dating around, and fucking a bunch of chads & tyrones.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev51 points52 points  (17 children) | Copy

Old guy perspective:

I know some guys who fessed up to infidelity, sometimes years prior, to "get it off their chest". They were then puzzled and distressed to find themselves getting divorced.

If you are in a relationship where you have pledged exclusivity, keep it.

If you fail to keep it, STFU and take that shit to your grave. You broke it, you own it.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you are in a relationship where you have pledged exclusivity, keep it.

​

Honestly, OP, this is as simple as it gets.

[–]omega_dawg936 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

that's admirable.

but do you really expect a woman who has cheated to fess up, etc.?

they NATURALLY keep their mouths shut until chad gives them a relationship... and then they just break-up or disrespect until you break-up with them.

when they come running back to you (after chad cum dumps about 10x), that's when they'll confess what happened. then, they'll admit they 'met someone right after the break-up' which is a lie.

branch swinging... to chad... for thrills... and your feelings don't matter while the word 'honor' isn't a part of her vocab.

you motherfuckers need to get as ruthless as women. and if you don't think women are ruthless, you're already losing.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

but do you really expect a woman who has cheated to fess up, etc.?

Nope. But I tend to be selective, within the context of "AWALT."

you motherfuckers need to get as ruthless as women. and if you don't think women are ruthless, you're already losing.

This is one of the reasons that I recommend maintaining sexual relationships with multiple women. One is not over-invested that way.

[–]omega_dawg931 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

it's not just about spinning plates.

women are ruthless in their deception, manipulations, lies, projecting, blame shifting etc. you need to be the same damn way. save your morals, honor, and integrity for dealing with men.

women don't play by the rules bc they don't care about rules. they only care about their feelings... and how they are perceived by the herd.

she flakes on you... check her and flake on her. she lies all the time... why are you so honest?

she makes you see someone she is not by wearing makeup. she does the same thing with her actions.,. showing you someone she really is not.

you need to show her a different you thru your actions... by being very unpredictable and shady when you need to be. don't wear any makeup. lol.

and no matter what... do not ever hesitate to walk away.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You don't have to be the "same damn way". What you need to be is the Prize.

save your morals, honor, and integrity for dealing with men.

I think you're arguing with someone else. The I have my own rules about what I do or don't do. I don't lie about things. I tell my girls that I'm not monogamous and they are either cool with it or they're not.

I don't expect women to be different than how they are. If they do something I don't like they're gone. Simples. That's waaaaaay easier to do if you're not cutting off 100% of your pussy supply, thus my recommendation about spinning multiple plates.

[–]The__Tren__Train102 points103 points  (27 children) | Copy

It would accomplish nothing make her feel like shit, it’s my load to bear.

lol.. you're so noble.. that's some female-tier hamstering right there.

im not saying tell her, it's your life.. do what you want.

but don't act like you're taking the high road.. because you're not.

you're deceptive and disingenuous.

[–]Red-455 1 points [recovered]  (20 children) | Copy

I’m aware of what I did, I’m aware of the morality of it.

My point is the only reason people tell their SO after cheating is a desperate attempt to clean their raging guilty conscience, not to “be honest”, which is a completely selfish reason, wouldn’t you agree?

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (3 children) | Copy

Your takeaway here is to not act like you're doing her a favor by not telling her that you fucked up. Another possible reason to tell their SO could be to own up to their mistakes like an adult and face the consequences of their actions.

​

I'm not here to tell you what to do. Do whatever you think is appropriate for your situation, but don't fool yourself into thinking you're doing it because it's the selfless thing to do. Lets keep it real - you fucked up.

​

Next time, avoid pledging exclusivity and sleep around all you like, or pledge exclusivity and keep your word.

[–]ChadTheWaiter100-2 points-1 points  (2 children) | Copy

It is the selfless thing to do. If a man cheats it is the man’s responsibility to bear that burden? Why hurt someone else? A man must accept the pain for himself.

[–]The__Tren__Train36 points37 points  (6 children) | Copy

wouldn’t you agree?

nope. thats just more hamstering. if you really loved the girl, you'd let her have a chance to be with someone who will be faithful to her. instead, you're using deception to get her to stay with you (lying by omission).. THAT is selfish

that's the logic of the situation. but again, redpill is amoral... so ultimately do whatever you want to do.

[–]ComplicatedRick18 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed and not even speaking on morals imo it's not something a respectable man does. It's what whores and children do. I know a lot of people will disagree with me but to hate on whores for cheating and being sluts then to turn around and do the same thing you hate them for is immature.

If you wanna fuck lots of women don't commit yourself to one.

[–]omega_dawg934 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

when you learn the TRUE nature of women, you'll laugh at yourself for worrying about your "raging guilty conscience."

why do you think women HATE men that are red pill aware? we KNOW they're full of shit and always looking for the next, better guy. give her a few branches, and she'll swing, swing, swing until one feels (and makes her feel) better than you.

i hope your guilty conscience can handle her turbo-charged, NATURAL, hypergamous nature.

[–]HurricaneHugues-3 points-2 points  (6 children) | Copy

You're a scumbag through and through and now youre coming up with excuses to not tell the truth to your girl. When's the last time ou looked at yourself in the mirror with pride? I could wipe my ass and see your face on the paper. That's how low you are.

[–]Red-455 1 points [recovered]  (5 children) | Copy

I’m aware of what I’ve done, I’m hear for advice on how to fix it, your statement and insult adds nothing. I can only guess you’ve been cheated on your heart was broken, so now you lash out at anyone who makes the same mistake.

[–]HurricaneHugues3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy

Okay, so do what you're supposed to do. Don't be a weasel. Just be real about it. Tell her what the fuck is up, and deal with the consequences. It's not the end of the world dude. I mean, lool at you now. You cheated, you know you're in the wrong, you're on the internet asking total strangers on hiw to deal with your feelings, you feel like shit around your gf, you feel fake etc etc. Do I really have to spell this out for you?

Come clean dude. Own up to your shit and be real about it. Your relationship is over anyway. So why not do it with whatever dignity you have left?

[–]AlfredKinsey0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Come clean

Do not listen to this guy.

[–]HurricaneHugues0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Explain why not, with logic and facts please.

[–]AlfredKinsey0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

1.) It has a high likelihood of terminating a relationship that might otherwise be doing well, a relationship that both parties want to maintain.

2.) If the relationship is not terminated, it has a high likelihood of diminishing the quality and closeness of the relationship. In short: it can very easily ruin a good thing.

3.) In the case of a marriage, it might come with penalties for the cheater.

4.) Even if you aren't married, many people react in horrible way to being cheated on and you possibly expose yourself to revenge tactics.

5.) It is important that you don't reveal the infidelity in the interest of protecting your reputation. People don't like cheaters, so they will happily tell other people that you are one.

[–]HurricaneHugues0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you want to protect your reputation, don't cheat. It's that simple. All your reasoning is that of a liar and a crook. If your relationship was so great, you wouldn't cheat. It really is that simple. Don't commit the crime if you don't want to do the time. Yoir actions have consequences

And yes she should break up with you because you couldn't hold your end of the bargain. In fact the best thing to do is admit you cheated AND break up with her yourself because clearly a relationship isn't what you're built for. You cant want to have your cake and eat it too.

[–]markinsinz7-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

How lucky you are. You have problems of getting laid too much. Sigh

[–]1DonaldBaelish4 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy

Never expected moralizing from someone called the Tren train.

[–]bigkids0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Aaaaaalll aboooard!!! Treeeeennn Traaaaiiiinnnn!

[–]The__Tren__Train0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

i wasn't moralizing. i was correcting OP's hamstering

[–]clausternn0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Hey off-topic but did you ever have any really bad side-effects from tren? I would probably mainly be concerned about hair loss, man boobs, and bad acne.

[–]The__Tren__Train2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

hair loss is genetic

gynecomstia is mostly related to estrogen

i took accutane for acne, haven't had problems since

[–]clausternn0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Stop making me want to take steroids, you're a bad influence

[–]sadshark33 points34 points  (11 children) | Copy

Dont tell her why, but break up with her and never do it again.

If you wanna fuck around dont get into a LTR. If you get into a ltr, dont cheat.

Cheating is one of the least manly things you can do. It's succumbing to your emotions without ration. That shit is for women.

If you wanna fuck multiple women, go ahead but dont lie to them. Tell them you are not exclusive.

If you get into a ltr and feel the need to cheat, then break up before cheating because obviously the relationship is not working.

Bottom line, cheating is for pussies. Be a man, take responsibility for your actions (without telling her) and break up with her and learn from this experience.

[–]DeusVictor6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Honestly man I agree with this most of the guys saying to stay with her and not tell her act exactly how they say women do and it’s so hypocritical since if they even see a sign of a girl cheating she’s a slut and a whore and to dump her but if they do it ooooh it’s because guys weren’t made to be monogamous and bla bla bla it’s so stupid they should stop acting like little bitches.

[–]AlfredKinsey0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's just logical advice. I would tell a female friend or a male friend the same thing. If you want to stay in an LTR, it makes so sense to reveal infidelity on your part. Hell, even if you want to leave it, there are no good reason for revealing the truth. It's pretty much just a shitty pain fest when it's out on the table.

​

[–]Aesthetik_14 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Cheating means: 1: you have options 2: you can utilize the chick with whom you cheated with for dread.

Lying about it is the best you can do if it never surfaces. The girl you cheated on will always rub it in your face at every chance if you confess. The relationship will take big hit if not fall apart right there and will either way never be the same again.

Being honorable and honest is a concept only other men can understand and appreciate in full capacity.

The only language women understand is demonstrations of value, status and power. Lose these and it doesn’t matter how honourable and good natured you are.

[–]Bruchibre-4 points-3 points  (7 children) | Copy

Cheating is one of the least manly things you can do. It's succumbing to your emotions without ration. That shit is for women.

says who? the Captain?

[–]sadshark5 points6 points  (6 children) | Copy

Found the pussy.

[–]Bruchibre-4 points-3 points  (5 children) | Copy

Found the pussy.

Yeah, found you.

[–]litolule1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

You have posted professionally taken photos of girls on reddit, which I’m almost certain you didn’t take. You are a pussy

[–]Bruchibre3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

You dig into someone’s whole posting history to answer a simple comment on an unrelated post on Reddit. You are a pussy. And you are Google Big Data

[–]Bruchibre0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Touché. I am a also a pussy. But well it’s a sub with Instagram links so I contributed by posting some other Instagrams... I’m not a professional photographer of models.

[–]litolule1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Okay pussy :)

[–]Bruchibre0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No problem pussy :)

[–]TatumBetterFultz6 points7 points  (12 children) | Copy

If you cant cheat w/o feeling guilty don’t do it

[–]Red-455 1 points [recovered]  (10 children) | Copy

I know that now, I thought I could handle it. Guess not.

[–]TatumBetterFultz0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy

I didn’t see the story anywhere, was it an accident/were you hammered?

[–]Red-455 1 points [recovered]  (8 children) | Copy

She was botching and having an emotional breakdown until 4 am while I layed ever with my pillow over my ears. Ex texted me to stay “why is your bitch stalking my social media” I said don’t know but she’s acting wild so it’s no surprise. Finally I just got up and left. My ex said she was in town and we should hang out. Guess what happened.

[–]TatumBetterFultz0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Hahahahaha that’s pretty classic. Good for you no harm done

[–]Red-455 1 points [recovered]  (5 children) | Copy

I wish. I can’t even look her in the face now that I’m home. We have a vacation and plenty of parties planned and idk how I’ll pull it off. This guilt is fucking me up and I really wish it wasn’t.

[–]TatumBetterFultz1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

You just need a different mindset then. It is what it is you just banged your ex it’s not like you killed her dad

[–]Red-455 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

Yes, but sexual loyalty has been a big problem for her in the last and I fucked the last person on the planet she’d want me to fuck, my ex she has a complex for. Pretty sure it’d break her.

[–]Garathon4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well, you did it knowing all this, so what does that make you? Is this the kind of man you want to be?

Learn from this in your next relationship.

[–]TatumBetterFultz0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Sure maybe it would but she’s never going to find out so nbd

[–]AlfredKinsey0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

hot

​

[–]Bruchibre1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

preach!

[–]BusterVadge2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'd suggest breaking up and pursing a non monogamous relationship for your next one. Judging by your comments this thing is going to eat you up inside and won't stop until you end the relationship.

[–]mrHappyPotatoe2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Remaind yourself that she wouldnt feel guilty nor bad if she cheated you.

[–]PepinoSF2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you feel guilt or sorrow for being unfaithful, confess to a preacher, repent, ask the God for forgiveness and dont do it again.

Do not confess to your girlfriend, unless you have dacided to quit the story. She will regard you as a weak pussy.

[–]mikeyp_883 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

You think she’ll tell you?

[–]q31 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

Years ago while listening to Dr. Laura she has someone call and ask this same question.

She said you'll never get over it, but it's your load to bear. NEVER tell the person and never do it again.

I don't know if I agree, but that call really stuck with me over the years.

[–]Red-455 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

I mean it makes sense. The only reason you would tell is to rid yourself of the guilt, which is a selfish reason because not only would she hurt because of you, but you still feel just as guilty for hurting her.

[–]Code3LI-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

I mean, it kind of makes sense. It is a shitty situation, especially if you have a heavy conscience like I do, but the damage it would do to them and the relationship wouldn't be worth it. If someone wanted to keep the relationship like OP, it is probably best to just bury it down deep and forgive yourself for it.

[–]htbf1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Read State of Affairs by Esther Perel right fucking now. It's gonna help you a shit ton.

[–]scroogemcdub1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Man, this is just sad. This girl probably has been nothing but good to you. Hamstering to yourself thinking you have some upper ground because you aren't telling her. Bull. Tell her, leave the relationship. You wanna cheat and sleep around, don't start an LTR. Be a respectable man

​

And I get people make mistakes, it's what it means to be human but you gotta control yourself. Exclusive should be exclusive, having respect for the person you are with.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're a piece of shit OP and you deserve feeling shitty for this. This isn't about you, it's about how truthful and sincere you are to your girlfriend. It's about how much she deserves you.

And right now you're proving she doesn't deserve you. Right now you're proving your lack of character and that you're not mature enough for a serious relationship.

You know what to do if you ever want to turn it around and become a man.

[–]DorkAssKid 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy

avoiding confrontation is a key trait in betas, well done you played yourself champ

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

feeling guilty about cheating is also a trait in betas. Alphas do what alphas do.

[–]Garathon4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Would an alpha need to cheat or would his woman accept having to share him out of fear of losing him?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Depends how you frame his sexual endeavours. Cheating or just having bitches on the side? It's all in the language and mindset. Betas cheat and then feel guilty about it. Alphas just have women on the side. That's the truth. They do not feel guilty because they have options and can replace their girlfriend anytime they want. That's alpha mindset. Beta mindset is being sad, feeling guilt and then showing it through their actions and women sense this that there is something wrong.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (12 children) | Copy

From experience it's not hard to get a girl to agree to let you fuck other girls if you have high value so cheating is stupid and low value and you shouldn't do it. It also makes you look dishonest and you should want to look credible to your LTR. So do it no more and just swallow this one.

[–]Bruchibre1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

It also makes you look dishonest

in the eyes of who?

[–]Garathon6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

In the eyes of people who believe in things like keeping your word and trustworthiness. If you can break it for something this important you'll have no problem breaking it and lying for lesser things.

[–]Bruchibre0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

In the eyes of people who believe in things like keeping your word and trustworthiness.

They would have to know all my dirty little secrets: disclaimer, they don't.

If you can break it for something this important you'll have no problem breaking it and lying for lesser things.

Well guess what, for some people it is not "something this important". Do you know the saying bros before hos? Two of my best friends know the things I do and they would still trust me with their lives.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Someone else responded for me. In my post I meant the eyes of the LTR. While I don't believe in giving a fuck what the outside world thinks, it is going to damage an LTR if the girl can't even trust what you're telling her to be true.

[–]Red-455 1 points [recovered]  (7 children) | Copy

I know, the problem once it was a moment of weakness on a whim, if I had time to plan I would have done that. I’m just asking other people to see if you eventually swallow it and can act normal around her again.

[–]KingSlapFight0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I’m just asking other people to see if you eventually swallow it and can act normal around her again.

We're not you. I wouldn't be in your situation, but if I were, I wouldn't give a shit. Who knows whether or not you'll ever stop fretting over your feelings. Guess you're going to have to be responsible for your actions and suck it up, huh?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Depends on your level of empathy. Personally I've fucked a bunch of girls while with my LTR and feel no guilt whatsoever about it. She does also know though. But I'm sure the mistake is swallow-able.

[–]Red-455 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy

The girls a freak and is used to sex 1-2 times a day every day for the last 8 months, thinking if maybe I withdraw for a while she’ll start to look somewhere else, worth a shot?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Why are you going to withdraw? Just act normal. "Withdrawing" does not sound like acting normal. Also you don't want to go around acting weird and sending red flags, cuz then she might snoop. And if she snoops...

[–]Red-455 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

Manipulative mode incoming.

She’s been a huge bitch lately, if I withdraw both physically and emotional she will consider it her fault and go into overdrive of both trying to fix it and guilt. On one hand this will cause her to be more understanding if I tell her why I did it, on the other hand it could make her withdraw as well, get some new dick, feel guilty and tell me, when I can tell her and be off the hook.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Or, better move: try getting her to agree to let you fuck other girls, then pretend when you fucked this girl that was already the agreement. If not, don't even tell her. It does her no good to know.

[–]friendandadvisor1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

feel guilty and tell me,

LOL, no time for comedy, let's keep to the subject!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

You think she would tell you herself if she cheated? Hell no. She would get pregnant from cheating and would claim a baby is yours, because that's what women are capable of. They have no sense of honour simply put.

Don't stress about it, going on the side once in a while is a must for a man. Different genders, different rules.

[–]Garathon4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Is your goal to be a cheating, hamstering woman?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Happy for me, I am not a woman so I do not care what other people think, especially bloops on askTRP.

[–]TopOccasion291 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you're feeling some type of way and your guilt is eating you up from the inside then break up with her, Learn from it and move on. If she was amazing then why did you cheat lol. If you do tell her then;

  1. She'll either get over it and try to forgive you if she loves you. It depends on how she see's you. If you're her alpha then she'll try, but if she sees you as equal or inferior to her then you're screwed.

  2. She'll pretend to get over it and bring it up in later arguments and have revenge by cheating on you in the future. Remember, the Hamster never forgets.

  3. Break up with you on the spot.

How long are you gonna live with her for?...Try and break up with her for another made up reason when the lease is up. Goodluck!

[–]bakamoney1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sub talks about holding frame and what not.

Can't stop his dick the first pair of boobs he sees and so cheating is supposed to be legit now lmao

You made a commitment. When you couldn't keep it up was a huge hole in your frame. Fix it op.

[–]Fauxregaurd1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Just tell her. You want to. She’ll nut out. You’ll get the drama you desire. Everyone’s happy.

[–]Red-455 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

Then I’m stuck living with a crazy woman for 6 months. Good plan.

[–]Fauxregaurd1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

And that’s different from now how?

[–]theoracleofbromaha0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My two cents considering I’m going through the same. They can feel it on some level when you’ve done this but it’s on you to see if you want to say. Ultimately you did it for a reason. Now either you learn from it and never do it again or you just cut the cord. It’s your choice but do know if you tell her it’s pretty much over. Even marriages will be severely destroyed over cheating. Become a better man from it.

[–]binrobinro0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I don't know why people ever do.

You'll forget about it in time.

[–]CrazyKing0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Bummer man. From my experience where I messed up, I confessed (she kinda pulled it out of me) and then we broke up soon after. Granted, I had a sketchy past with her, but this was the last straw. 4 yrs, too. If you love her, you wouldn't have cheated. I've channeled my previous guilt into stronger fidelity with my current gf (which may or may not be right). Since your living situation makes you stuck ,I say hold it in but find a trustworthy friend to confide in so you're not bottling it up. PM me if you need an ear. Good luck.

[–]positiveredpill-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah if it's going smooth smooth don't mention it. You shouldn't have cheated anyways, dickhead.

[–]bosshawg5020 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Just eat it and move forward. Shove that shit down deep and bury it. Eventually you'll forget about it except for those random once a year nights where you get in the feels real bad. And that should also be your once a year "drink yourself into a coma for no reason" night

[–]RedHoodhandles0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes never tell and live with the consequences. Your brain will dissolve your cognitive dissonance in time.

[–]letmereadthatshit0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Look dude I know trp is amoral but men have standards and principles imo cheating is bad and if u cheat u have to be able to confess I know awalt and hypergamy and girls will cheat but that doesn't mean you to break your principles cheat as much as you want but if u feel bad you have to strong enough to confess

[–]masterduelistky0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Knowing you were cheated on is a feeling I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. It can actually destroy your sanity and trust. After my ex broke up with me and I found out she "cheated" it ruined my relationships, jobs, just because all I could all I could do was focused on how I felt betrayed. I actually wish I had never found out, I might have healed faster.

I've promised to myself that I wouldn't ever cheat on someone I cared about how I was, but I don't know the future. Just seems like even in this case, being honest with your partner will only cause them more misery.

[–]ArnoldBateman-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Genuine question: Why is it that when women cheat you guys say it's their slutty nature but when a guy does it you defend him and say he didn't hurt anyone directly?

[–]DulceDeLecheMardel-4 points-3 points  (1 child) | Copy

TRP doesn't cheat. You are a bitch. Take control of your life and ditch that sucker. Spin the plates, but let them know.

Asshole.

[–]RedHoodhandles0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

TRP is amorale.

[–]3chazthundergut-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

  1. Dont tell her. Like you said you accomplish nothing

  2. If you cant get over it then break up with her. Dont be in a guilty relationship it would be better to be single

[–]jeromeantoinecarter-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Confessing is a selfish act on your part, meant to make you feel better / relieved, with the result being devastation on her part, and a bad end to the relationship (likely) or worse, her staying with you, forever distrusting you and holding it over your head, quilting you at ever opportunity.

​

Maybe she's done the same, having similar thoughts.....



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