You guys ever been in an emotionally and or physically abusive relationship with a female before?

I'd say a few of us have. I am no exception. We are here for a reason. And it isn't talked about enough in society.

I've had a female make me constantly second guess myself. Why did it work? Because I cared deeply about her, and the sacrifices and the work I put in for her wasn't satisfactory, I wanted to do what it took to earn her approval. I was simping really hard at this point and still believed in the idea of love. It made me HEAVILY suspectible to a charming, beautiful, and domineering woman who I valued way more than she valued me.

It started off wonderful. She was everything I wanted in a woman: the mind of a male and the incredible beauty and charm of a female. God she was pretty. Weird, but pretty. We had tons in common and conversations flowed effortless. She went out of the way at first to please me: buying me things, texting me like crazy. The interest she showed me was something I was never used to, because as a guy you do all the work. The fact that she was funny as hell to boot had me putty in her hands.

So, being smitten, I never took to heart the small instances where if I disagreed with her, she'd deflect and go for an emotional manipulative attack to logically disarm me. It was so well-done. Making me second guess myself using buzzwords while not actually addressing the issue itself. The leverage was obvious because I would care to try to compromise with her, while her goal was to get me to submit. Whenever I wouldn't budge she'd outright insult me or my things in conversations that weren't necessary, while propping herself up based on her narcissism. Because she was raised upper middle class, she felt entitled to anyone who would give and spend money on her, even though she was capable of making it herself(like I said, smart girl)

And yet, she had trouble beating me in arguments, even in subjects she majored in. (like Biology) She hated evo psych discussions with me, as well as evo bio because despite me not going to college, I studied it extensively as a hobby since finding out about the redpill. It pissed her off someone who never studied in college for such a thing knew more about it than she did.

Whenever a "friend" would come along who she clearly liked, whenever this person treated her like dirt, she'd come to me and bitch and moan about it. I said, at the time being a good friend and trying to make her feel better. "Let's go fuck her up. She hits you, you knock her ass out, I'll film it." I was saying it jokingly but I actually did want to hurt the person that hurt her. Her response, after two years of loyalty, I'll never forget.

"You interfere in my affairs, I'm dropping you like a bad habit."

It was....cold. Calloused. She gave me this look, which is how I knew it was serious. The implications, according to her, was that she told me something in confidence and that telling said "friend" would denote that confidence. What I got from the whole situation was different:

She cared more about this abusive person than me, and it was clearly because this person had WAY MORE MONEY than I did.

I was head over heels for her, so I simped...hard, and forgave her. Or, if I am to be honest, I tolerated it because I didn't want her to leave me.

I knew if I had any sense of balls, I would have left right then and there, as that shit was highly disrespectful. It's one thing to not want your dirty laundry aired. It's another thing to turn on your most loyal friend to protect your reputation. She immediately went back to the abuser in hopes to win her over.

Whenever I would try to get her to understand my viewpoint, she would try to override it with her own. She said that MGTOWs and MRAs are just a bunch of whiny neckbeards who couldn't get laid. She never knew I was a regular poster there. But she was nerdy hot. Nerdy guys bent over backwards to please her, but she wanted the tall guy who drives the Ferrari who was ALREADY MARRIED.

There came a point where if I were to complain about her lack of interest in anything I'd say, or her lack of communication, she'd immediately call me clingy and or would deflect and threaten to leave the conversation, and then proceeded to talk about nothing but herself. It was narcissistic and a put off.

I eventually told her that she was being shitty, and she told me, and I quote "You're making assumptions. Sounds like you're the one being shitty if you don't take the time to understand where I'm coming from."

In short, fuck your feelings. Let's talk about me. And this kept happening.

One day, she said that she's gonna be busy over the summer. Most of her friends won't hear from her and that communication would be sporadic. I agreed, because I was tired of fighting, but then I decided to check her facebook. Somehow I was no longer her friend on there but I saw her activities:

She had been exclusively hanging out with her abusive ex, who I just found out had just bought her first house. My "friend" in question had already wanted to move out of her roomie's place. I put two and two together and realized what just happened. Why? Because it was common knowledge among our group that her ex hated my guts.

So, I called her out on it. Stupid move. I put myself in a vulnerable position and got ripped to shreds emotionally. She told me off.

"You have been nothing but rude and selfish the past few months. Why the fuck would I want to be your friend?"

"You're clearly okay with being friends with someone who robbed you, abused you, and used you. You're at her house now."

"That's different. That's in the past."

"Only thing's different is that she suddenly got a better paying job and now she's got a house. She's still got a husband while still married to a previous one."

"Well she's been here for me while you haven't."

"You said you were busy with work. I gave you your space because that's what friends do. But it doesn't look like you're all that busy."

"Stop stressing me out or I'm hanging up. You don't know what I've been through and I don't have to explain it to you."

"Yeah, I'm stressing you out. I'm stressing out your meal ticket is what it looks like."

"What's it to you? You could never afford me?"

"Yeah, you're right. I could get better than a former junkie who is riding the coat tails of her richer ex. Honestly, you acted better when you were on drugs. Strong, independent female my asshole."

"Fuck you you bitter misogynist."

"This misogynist was your friend for years, and you threw that away for a bank account. I blame myself, last time I'll let a pretty face cloud my judgment.

"With that attitude you'll never get laid"

"Least I'll have people care about me as more than a sperm receptacle."

She gasped, called me a piece of shit, and hung up.

I cried for days. Felt like it was my fault. Wanted to run back to her and make things right. Then I ran into this piece on quora about men experiencing emotional abuse and it made perfect sense to me.

They start out as incredibly charismatic and attractive. They give you a sense of security and assurance by buying you gifts and giving you lots of attention. Once you're hooked they will make "power moves" by using gaslighting and verbal deflection to make you second guess yourself. Because you love this person, the more it happens to you and the less you speak up about it, the more you accept the abuse as normal.

I made a lot of mistakes with her, one of which that I went against my general rule of not being friends with a woman you liked. I had many opportunities to walk and I didn't.

Talking about incidents like this on r/MGTOW may help someone who is lurking on the sub, who is in the same sitch, find perspective.

No matter what the reason, something caused us to go our own way. Some of us are working on it, but here, on this subreddit, we can talk about things we aren't allowed to talk about outside.

Feel free to discuss.