Summary: Focusing on yourself works big time but only after time and dedication. Below is a before/after analysis after fully embracing TRP philosophies.

Background: I’m a mid-30s guy, working in IT. At 7 years old I discovered what I wanted to do in life, and I’m still doing it. Being so driven to do what I love to do was in retrospect the only manly quality that got me positive female attention.

I’ve discovered TRP in May 2015 mostly through accident.

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Before 22 years old I was the biggest beta that you could imagine. For comic purpose I’ll list a few beliefs that I had (and nobody told me any of this specifically).

  • Girls are special snowflakes

  • Every woman is beautiful in her own way

  • Women are kind, caring and giving people

  • Even if you don’t like something, if it makes her happy, do it.

Sex and positive female interaction was literally a matter of luck. That’s actually how I got laid the first time. I was jealous, terribly insecure, literally cried once when going home after seeing my LTR because I missed her already. Those are memories that will never go away.

One woman told me literally word by word what I was doing wrong, what made me a pussy. But I was too much of a pussy to understand. And I’m actually one of the rational ones.

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At 20, after breaking up with a certain lady I hit rock bottom and somehow discovered the nascent PUA community. This changed me irreversibly, made a lot of things click. I understood jealousy for what it is, I started understanding people and better understanding myself. All my subsequent relationships were from a position of power with women that did some crazy shit for me but I was still experiencing severe beta behavior on occasion which led to breakups or rocky times.

My second saving grace during all this time was that I’m also extremely stubborn on some issues. If I really put my mind to it I can wear out anyone and don’t give an inch. Sure, this shit worked against me more than a couple of times, but we digress.

Last but not least I wasted a lot of time with procrastination, which put me in a spiral of self-hate. Watched a shitload of TV shows, played way too many video games when I shouldn’t have, fapped to porn when I didn’t have a consistent gf nearby.

Ok, let’s get to the TRP part:

Starting out:

Stats: 91 kg (200 lbs F.U.) 173 cm (that’s 5.3 ft) – 27-30 % BF. Couldn’t do pull-ups, chin-ups, thankfully legs were strong due to a back accident that forced me to do 1 legged squats daily for a month (ended up like this guy , but with legs ) . Short version: I looked like a tall fat hobo.

SMV: I got some attention, mostly by married women, single moms, desperate post-wall chicks. Never got opened. On dating sites the pattern repeated pretty much the same. Got along with 5-6s , the occasional 7 was rare

Lifestyle changes:

During this time I’ve basically gone monk. Female interaction was kept at that minimum healthy level (not 0 mind you, I’m not MGTOW)

  • Dropped TV shows – This alone saved me almost 8 hours a week.

  • Dropped fapping and porn – There’s one minor downside to this.. when you have sex with a woman after 1 month of nofap you will drown her.

  • Started proper nutrition – went through several experiments, including keto, cyclical keto, balanced diets (30/30/30) , eating clean at a deficit. All while counting calories and macros.

  • Intermittent Fasting – this thing works, however there’s one big caveat. You MUST do your sports either between meals or immediately after your last meal of the day or else you'll miss on gains.

  • Started lifting – 2-3 times a week , however severely busy schedule doesn’t allow for more because

  • Picked martial arts 4 times a week – Traditional martial arts + HEMA which is brutal and will leave you without fingers if not careful.

  • Focused on my own professional projects – learned new things, launched products, progressed professionally

  • Dropped most of the people that waste my time – either through toxic attitude or attention whores

  • Started asserting my expectations on people- getting positive results, but there’s still a lot to learn

  • Picked up meditation – and I wish I did this earlier. Been sleeping like a baby since I started, also noticed significant improvements on reaction times and focus.

Results: Current stats: 76.5 kg (165 lbs – dropped 36 lbs), around 16% bf, chin-ups, push-ups are now easy, pull-ups are still hard, but not impossible. I look virtually identical with my 20 year old self, plus some gray hairs.

I have a photo in my phone that I took at 20. Keep it around for reference. All my photo IDs look like the fat hobo which is funny when people look at them.

Dropped from large and XL clothes size to medium. Jeans size dropped 4-5 sizes. I’ll never be able to wear straight cut or skinny jeans because my calves don’t fit.

There’s some muscular definition, but nothing spectacular. Most visible parts are the forearms due to Popeye genetics.

SMV & Female reaction: This is the big change, and I want to divide this in two sections: acquaintance reactions and new people.

Acquaintances: basically anybody who knew me since before can be summed up in two anecdotes

a) My mother tried to fatten me up when I started losing weight. Kept calling me to visit, to eat some food and stuff like that. “Here are is some pie” she said. This only happened in the beginning. Now that she’s seen that I keep this lifestyle she comes and asks me for advice.

b) A lady that I’m seeing on occasion went through three phases: first she said that it’s cute and dismissed it like a joke. Then she tried to stop me by telling me that she’s attracted to dadbods and that she doesn’t find me sexy. Finally after doing the deed with the new and improved me (halfway through the time) we were standing in front of the mirror together and she said “You’ve lost so much weight that you make me feel bad… I need to lose some too” and she’s actually pretty fit.

New people or people that haven’t seen me in a long time:

  • I’m basically a new guy for everyone that used to know me. They seem more shy towards me somehow. I even get positive comments on looks from men that don’t swing that way.

  • Female reaction improved across the board. I get looks, I get WAY more friendly first reactions, smiles and the works.

  • Experienced women going “ga-ga” a few times.. getting busy around me, doing their best efforts to stay in my face just to get approached.

  • Got more invites to parties and social events

Tinder:

Just to test out all the fronts, I’ve made a new tinder profile (deleted the old one that I didn’t use anyways), new photos, new name.

  • Matches are all HB7+
  • No more single moms
  • Average age of matches dropped to 27 from 33-35. Before I wasn’t able to match with anyone under 27.
  • Got dates/digits in the first 10 lines of the convo.
  • Women opened me on match. Texts are longer and full of smileys on their side.

To do:

  • My approach anxiety is lower than before but I still need to work on this. Still got a lot of approaching and smalltalk to do.

  • Do a proper clean bulk and increase physical strength

  • Change wardrobe 2nd time

  • More of what I'm already doing

Lessons learned:

  • Be driven and relentless: once you find your goal follow it regardless of what other people tell you. They will try to stop you, shame you, they will hate you, but also in the end admire you. There are very few people in this world that have short term goals. People with long term goals are even fewer.

  • Looks matter: even if you’re genetically gifted, becoming a slob will work against you.

  • Don’t talk about your intentions. Just do it! Every time you talk about what you’re going to do you’re going to be met with some amount of doubt and skepticism. When you end up doing something people will only see results.

  • Your accomplishments will make people uncomfortable and they will try to stop you or even cut you out of their lives.

  • Stop wasting time: focus on your goals, cut the time-wasters, relax from time to time.

  • Cut out attention whores from your life: do you have a girl that’s always there to tease you or when she is in the mood but not when you are? Cut that shit out. Beta you will be devastated, but it’s ok. She never would’ve fucked you anyways.

  • Lift & move

  • Eat properly

  • Learn to Say No