Summary: I have noticed that the red pill holds polarizing views on validation. On one hand, you're "unplugged" meaning that what society thinks of you does not matter. On the other hand, you go on this journey to making yourself a better man and whether you like to admit it or not, a part of it (small or large) has to do with you wanting people to respect you more. Even "SMV", something we talk so much about on here, is based off of validation. Whether we like to admit it or not, we're all on a journey to be Chad to an extent.

You came here partly due to validation:

Your wife or girlfriend left or cheated on you, you felt disrespected and as a result came here to do something about it.

You were the one who was not out on dates with cute girls in his school years or partying with the Chads, you came here to do something about it.

You were constantly in the friend zone, you came here to be the guy who gets in bed with her.

Deep down inside, it is every man's dream and desire to be a champion. No guy wants to be the one who is living in a cabin out in the woods all by himself, away from society. The guys who resort to doing this are losers who have admitted defeat. Almost every guy wants to be the one that other cool guys acknowledge, girls check out, and others praise. As a matter of fact, we went on this self improvement journey just so we can be that guy.

Now granted, chasing validation too much is a bad thing, your life cannot revolve around it. On the other hand, you cannot completely ignore it either because validation builds confidence. When others are telling you how amazing you are, acknowledging you, and giving you respect (whether or not it comes with the hatred) it gives you no choice but to feel good about yourself.

I'll tell you guys something about myself.

-- God Bless Social Media! --

The future is in social media young ones.

Going to an amazing party? Instagram!

At a fun place? Instagram!

On a cool vacation trip with hot girls and high SMV guys? Put those photos up on Instagram!

On a date with a beautiful woman? Instagram!

Watch as those who knew you see your rise and some fill with rage.

I have an instagram account with over a thousand followers and pics of me at fun places and parties with hot girls. So many of the pics I have on instagram are of me with good looking women. Due to losing a lot of weight and cutting, my facial aesthetics have come in (chiseled jaw and more visible cheekbones). Wanna know the kinds of comments I usually get?

  1. Most are friendly comments saying "you're my boy!" and "she's a lucky girl!".

  2. Others are more hostile comments like "aren't you too old to party" (I am in my late 20s btw), "oh you finally made it, good for you", and post wall women I knew growing up commenting saying "ya, some of us rather spend time with our kids and family though". After taking the pill, I know where these post wall women are coming from.

My life does not revolve around validation but both 1 and 2 are validation for me. 1 is validation because it flatters me that there are people out there who make me feel good about myself, a compliment can be amazing. 2 is validation that makes me feel even better because somehow, the revenge fantasy is finally taking place for me even though I try to avoid that narrative.

I know that so many of these people who married in their early 20s and now regret their decision as they get fat every day wish that they were in my situation. Hate to brag but I have to admit, it feels really good to know that the people who often looked down on you when you were younger now consider you a threat.

What makes me feel even better is that some of the guys who knew me growing up but more or less looked down on me are now trying to get in touch with me. The girls who are nearing the wall who ignored me a little less than a decade ago now desperately want to be a part of my life. Now I am the one getting invitations saying "wanna hang out sometime and catch up on old times?". The invitations come from people that never called me to their parties in college and high school, often ignoring me, now I get to do the same.

If you have ever experienced this, you know it is one of those things that just makes you feel alive as a man. The feeling that those who did not want a thing to do with you years ago now desperately want to be a part of your life, and the power to just tell them to get lost. If you haven't experienced this, you're in for a treat.

Lessons learned:

Don't make validation a part of your life or let your life revolve around it, but accept its power for what it is. Validation, in moderation, can be an amazing thing. Put up pictures on Instagram of you on a date with a hot girl as post wall women and washed up Chads fill with rage.