Over the past few weeks I've been leaving posts here about how family court is a scam, publishing the full text here with a link to the article on my site.

On a high level, I wish to demonstrate that the family court system is a scam in the hopes that people like you and me stop using it, helping to bankrupt the system.

In order to make my point, I need to give details and those details unfortunately can get into minutae. How do I condense 7 years of court into an easily digestible post?

Below are excerpts from my latest article. You can read the full article here. These are just bullet points.

While reading them, think to yourself, if this is true, who should win custody? I'm focusing on facts, not he said/she said.

Round 1 – I file for custody of my daughter – 2009-2010

  • Mother has pending felony drug charges against her. Facing up to 20 years in prison.
  • Mother has not allowed father regular contact with his daughter.
  • Mother lives in Mississippi.
  • Mother does not have a job and relies on public assistance.
  • Mother did not name father on birth certificate — she named another guy. I performed DNA test before court and was determined to be father. I wanted to be listed as father on birth cert. Mother decided to fight me on it, while also demanding child support.
  • Father claims residence in Tennessee but works in California as a contractor.
  • After phone visitation was ordered by the court, mother allowed only certain “contact times” that were never in court order and never agreed to by father. Father called outside of one of these contact times and defendant’s family had father arrested and charged with telephone harassment. These charges were later dropped.
  • Mother and father both take court ordered drug tests. Father passes. Mother fails, but it was due to prescription drug, she claims. Mother never shows source of her prescription, and for some reason my counsel doesn’t think this is worth following up on.
  • During the course of the custody trial, mother gets married and pleads guilty to felony drug charges. Gets 3 years probation with monthly drug tests.
  • Court ordered mother and father to jointly attend class about not putting child in the middle. Father attended class on agreed to date. Mother did not. She attended later class, alone. No penalty for her.
  • Agreed Order: Mother keeps custody. Father, however, received one week a month of visitation, and he can have that visitation anywhere he wishes. He is also to pay $885/month in child support. Father also received 2 phone calls and 1 webcam per week. Father also received 2 weeks each of visitation in June and July. Mother cannot refer to anyone else as being daughter’s dad other than me. Father is officially to be listed on birth certificate.

Keep in mind that my entire case was never heard. I think we got to one witness. Everyone is part of the scam — including the judge. The judge “not wanting to hear the case” is code for, “If you exercise your rights, you will probably be punished.” After all, the system has better things to do than actually try your case.

Round 2 – Contempt charges against mother 2010-2013

  • Filed contempt against mother for denying me access to my daughter. At one point I actually purchased plane tickets for daughter and self to travel from TN to California. Mother knew this and would not allow me to take daughter. I requested reimbursement for tickets.
  • Filed contempt against mother for mother referring to other men as my daughter’s “dad” or “father” (which goes against language in our agreed order).
  • Mother counter complained that father hadn’t paid her child support and wanted father held in contempt. Turned out that mother moved and did not tell father what her new address was.

There’s some other minor stuff, but the main point was I needed to hold the mother’s feet to the fire. Well it turned into:

Round 2+ – Contempt charges change into custody dispute – 2011-2013

  • Mother accused me of molesting my daughter.
  • Mother accused a babysitter I used in California of taking nude photos of and molesting my daughter.
  • Mother contacted MS Department of Human Services (DHS) for assessment.
  • Mother took our 3-year-old daughter for 2 pelvic examinations. Both showed no evidence of abuse. Under oath, mother claimed that doctor told her there was evidence of abuse, but could not explain why doctor’s paperwork did not reflect that.
  • Court-ordered guardian ad litem (a lawyer himself) is appointed. He travels to California during a visitation to see how I live.
  • DHS testified that mother complained to them about all of the visitation time father receives. DHS also visited mother once per month. DHS did not visit father.
  • In January 2013 deposition, mother changes her mind and now says she doesn’t believe father molested her daughter.
  • In this same deposition, the mother said that she wouldn’t mind if the father called his daughter every day for phone visitation even though it wasn’t court ordered (and I have called nearly every single day since this she said this.)
  • The mother admits that our daughter calls me “da da” and her new husband “daddy.” Clear violation of our agreed order.
  • In court, sometime around April 2013, guardian ad litem says that he doesn’t believe that father molested daughter; he believes that mother made up allegations, but there’s not enough proof of that. He only has his “gut feeling.” Therefore, he recommends that mother retain custody. However, he believes mother should not be able to throw allegations like this without any proof. So in the future, he recommends that any allegations against father need to come with a $5000 bond, paid at the time of the allegation by the mother, for the purposes of father’s legal defense. He also said that this was a “very close decision. I’m talking the distance between my fingers close,” as he holds his fingers together.
  • Verdict: Judge allows mother to retain custody. Contempt allegations against mother are held in abeyance until we have review hearing in 6 months. The $5000 bond recommendation is not implemented.

Round 3 – I file for custody of my daughter a 3rd time – 2015-2016

  • October 2014 – Mother shoplifts from major store. Gets charged.
  • January 2015 – My daughter has her 12th unexcused absence from school. The school system files charges against her. A warrant is issued
  • April 2015 – Mother pleads guilty to criminal shoplifting. The warrant for the truancy charges is still not delivered!
  • May 2015 – School fails my daughter in 1st grade due to excessive absences, per state policy. Mother protests it and because my daughter is smart (and teachers and admins don’t like doing paperwork before summer vacation), the school passes my daughter.
  • May 2015 – I file for custody of my daughter once again.
  • June 2015 – The state attendance officer is out of town for a scheduled court date on the child neglect/truancy charges against mother. She asks the criminal court to not have the hearing without the state present. The hearing is had and charges against the mother are dropped. I later track down the judge and ask about this, and he told me point blank that even if the state had shown up, the charges would have been dropped anyway because the school passed my daughter. Because the school passed my daughter, that means no harm was done to her.
  • August 2015 – The mother denies having sex with other men (even though she’s still married, just separated). The mother denies that she actively shoplifted. She says it was a misunderstanding where she left the store boundary holding merchandise. The guardian ad litem tells my lawyer in private that if we can prove that the mother has lied, he will award custody to us.
  • November 2015 – A man testifies that he had sex with the mother. A representative of the merchant brings a video of the mother’s shoplifting and shows it to the court. The video directly contradicts the mother’s testimony, down to the details of the alarm going off. I marry my pregnant fiancee, which means I will also have a real stable family home for my daughter to come to.
  • February 2016 – My daughter’s teacher testifies that my daughter is smart and her mother packs her “healthy Lunchables” most days.
  • February 2016 – I testify and do a really great job. I had a fantastic mindset and didn’t have to resort to badmouthing or lying or anything else. I focus a bit on my daughter’s weight, and provide pictures. One thing I testify to is that every time I have my daughter her weight goes down, and every time she’s with her mother her weight goes up. I testified that my daughter weighed 125lbs, the mother testified that she weighed 120lbs. She hadn’t even turned 8 yet. Even under conservative estimates by the mother, testimony and court documents point to my daughter gaining 15-20 lbs during the course of the trial itself!
  • February 2016 – All testimony in the case is heard. The last to testify was the mother, who admitted she lied in August 2015. Her lawyer actually asked her, “You are aware if you retain custody this time that this is your last chance. If we’re back in this court, you are not going to keep custody of your daughter.” That was HER LAWYER.
  • February 2016 – The guardian ad litem makes his recommendation. In Mississippi, there are 3 tests to modify custody. There must be a substantial material change in circumstances. The guardian ad litem says that plaintiff proved that. The second test is adverse effect to the child, and because my daughter is smart, is doing fine in school, etc., that even with the shoplifting and everything else that has gone on, it was a very close decision, the space between my fingers close, but overall, the father did not prove adverse affect.

Again, more details can be found in my article here.

Lessons learned: Do NOT go to family court, especially for custody. Cut your losses.

EDIT: Fixed a formatting issue.