[X-post] "I dont WANT to be a gold-digging girlfriend"

ANGRY_ATHEIST · 2016-07-06T14:23:26+00:00

I think you're missing the big point in this. Man holds frame, has his boundaries and standards.

Notice she isn't mad, she's trying to get the herd to tell her what to think here. Everything is hedged language. If the girls give her a 'dude should spend money, what an ass' that's what she will do. if it's 'you go girl, dont need no man money' she'll go that way as well.

Let her talk, it's just talk. She isn't leaving, and if anything, she'll put on her big girl panties and start aiming higher. Good. He's leading her, as he should. Most guys don't see how the sausage is made here, you're seeing how she gets herself to a place where his standards were 'her idea' all along.

Relationship is stable, no one leaves a high quality man because they hate paying rent.

Except an emotional, tear jerked 'I cannot afford this' speech at some point, begging him to take on a bigger portion of the expenses. He will buckle (which opens the floodgates), or not (and they will live normally), or he will offer it to live a lifesttye he prefers (best case for him probably)

This is why frame is important. Can he hold this message through emotional manipulation? Is he abundant enough that if she weaponizes sex to get her way, that he can go find it elsewhere?

long-lostfriend · 2016-07-06T14:19:56+00:00

Cohabitation is dumb. Especially if a guy is as financially well-off as she claims he is.

sumdumbullshit · 2016-07-06T13:11:09+00:00

You left out some other important bits.

> He has also mentioned recently wanting to move to a nicer apartment in a nicer part of town. He has even toured a few places and leaves print outs on top of my lunch for work. While I could technically afford it, using that high of a percentage of my income for rent makes my head hurt. It goes against every fiber of my being. I've told him if he was willing to split it a bit more like 60/40 instead of 50/50 I would be willing, but he refuses.

In other words, she's being financially responsible and realistic about what she can afford, while he's being passive aggressive and expexts her to finance what he wants. If I made so much more than my girlfriend (well, I do), I would demand that she contributes equally in the relative sence, not the absolute sense - and I'd definitely pay for stuff I want that she can't afford (assuming I wanted her to go with me).

gjs628 · 2016-07-06T15:34:26+00:00

I can't comment on their relationship, only my own. My wife and I are 30 and had dated since we were teenagers, moved in at 18 together. Over the years, I've earned more, she's earned more, we've both earned the same, and as of now I'm jobless and she's earning a LOT, just enough to support the both of us while I find work.

We have ALWAYS split everything 50/50 unless one person insisted on buying something. So, she wanted to spend Â£300 on a TV, I wanted a Â£730 TV. I said that since she will also benefit, she can pay Â£250 and I'll cover the rest because that's only fair, why should she pay for my insistence on luxury? She wants a a new bed set and I like it, I'll offer half; if I hate it, she can pay for it. At no point have we EVER argued about money. Not once. We don't have a joint bank account either.

When we eat out it's always 50/50. It's NOT her fault that she earns more than me; my earning is my own problem and a year ago, by the time we split bills equally, she was left with loads of money and I had next to nothing. But that's my own issue for being in the job I was in. If I wanted more I should earn more.

I did sometimes think it should be proportional, so, if she earns twice as much as I do, she should cover 2/3 of the bills for example, but then I thought that I wouldn't be happy if the shoe was on the other foot and that would NOT motivate her to improve her salary. If I run out of money and I need clothes for work, for example, she's happy to buy them, and I'm happy to cover things for her when she needs them but can't afford them. We are happy to do this because we don't idolise money and make it a "thing" in our relationship - money is a means to survive and enjoy life, not a measurement of personal happiness.

I realise that I am very lucky to have a woman who has a semblance of fairness and objectivity. Her reasoning is that she loves having me with her, and I help her in so many ways (especially with her own work, when she has difficult letters to write to difficult clients for example, she'll ask me to write them) so spending money isn't an issue because it isn't one sided.

Girls in general have it in their heads that they are entitled to be spoilt; men should shower them with money and gifts, because that's the Disney princess dream - all these other girls have their men giving them things, why shouldn't she also have them? And when someone feels like their happiness is dependant on how much of their boyfriends income is being spent on them, there are problems. Instead of respecting you and the things you can offer, it becomes about what you can buy for her instead, and it's a downward spiral from there.

trpthroway123 · 2016-07-06T14:06:44+00:00

I don't post most of my life on social media just because of this phenomenon. It's incredible how quickly a girl changes when she sees dollar signs. Conversations quickly go from what we do, what we enjoy, to what I have and what they want...

It's amazing how many girls invite you to come shopping after they find out you're well off.

2Bait4Me · 2016-07-06T13:25:31+00:00

[deleted]

tiorzol · 2016-07-06T12:48:12+00:00

I guess the question is, if she can't afford to go, do you value her company over your need to split everything evenly?

Eyes_Of_The_Dragon · 2016-07-06T14:27:35+00:00

My take: "I want to be a gold digging girlfriend, but I don't want people to think I am a gold digging girlfriend."

strps · 2016-07-06T13:33:48+00:00

[deleted]

HS-Thompson · 2016-07-06T13:50:16+00:00

This isn't a good example. I believe when couples split things they should do it roughly in some proportion to how much they have, and how important the activity is to each one of them.

He should be paying for the trip to his sister's wedding. And he should be rewarding her for being financially responsible and setting limits over what she can afford for a place to live rather than being passive aggressive about it.

He just sounds like a spoiled rich kid who doesn't really understand what money's worth and is oblivious to people who don't have as much. I've met lots of people like that, including women with money who act like this to guys, this doesn't seem really like a red pill thing it's an entitled rich kid thing.

UCISee · 2016-07-06T15:10:45+00:00

I wrote this in response to a comment but it will get buried:

This thread is a mess. He isn't being cheap, the reason he has money (more likely his pre ya have the money they do) is because they make wise financial decisions. There were red flags before the apartment and she even states she can afford it, she just doesn't want to. She was fine doing all these things when she thought he was poor, now she knows he isn't and she's mad. It was fine when she felt it was equally distributed relative to their financial worth, now it's not and she's mad. Nevermind that she uses half of everything and she lives there too etc. he's worth more than her therefore he should carry more weight according to her. OP you are 100% correct and this guy needs to get out quick. Also, all this bullshit in here about "He's a cheap asshole" and "Does he want them to die early?" . . . Are you guys fuckig serious?

Not your life/diet.
She was down with it before she found out he had money.
The way you keep money as a fresh grad is by not spending more than you make. It doesn't matter that he has lots of water in the bucket, if he drinks more than he replaces the water will eventually go away.

Again, the principle of the matter is that she was totally down and loved him for him when she thought things were distributed equally. Interestingly enough, they still ARE distributed equally. She expects him to pay more because she has found out he comes from money. That's bullshit. If you live in an apartment with a SO you split it 50/50 unless she cannot afford it, which she can. How are you guys hamstering so much so easily? The BB mentality is strong in this thread.

EDIT: After rereading the thread I have come to a further conclusion: he wants a slightly nicer lifestyle because he can swing it while she wants a much nicer lifestyle because she thinks he can swing it. They haven't had the money talk (or so it seems) but she has this idea that he can afford "Five times over" what she can. She's sly and words everything well, but she wants a nicer life because he can manage it, period. She specifically says "because he can afford it" more than once. It's annoying that he complains about groceries, so what? He's a tightwad that's making his chick pull her own weight. Has no one in this thread read anything in the sidebar? He's not being her betabux, he's keeping his money for him and if she wants to come along for the ride, well, that'll cost her. Good for him.

Metalgear222 · 2016-07-06T14:28:45+00:00

this the woman's side of the story yet people are rushing to her side like a true white knight. I bet there's more here that she isn't telling. Skip all of the solipsism and go straight to the dude is a dick and didn't pay for her ticket lol..

TRP confirmed blue?

Mahesvara-37 · 2016-07-06T16:08:53+00:00

Whats funny is that in the comments she says he cooks 90% of the times because she hates it, and he does her laundry sometimes.. Im like what the fuck thats like 80% of the house work and she still complains when he wants to split things 50/50!?

LordThunderbolt · 2016-07-06T14:18:03+00:00

That post is troll bait and pretty old. Someone keeps reposting it every now and then. It's most likely fictional. Every few months it comes back to the relationship sub to rustle some jimmies lol.

Temperfuelmma · 2016-07-06T15:23:32+00:00

If girlfriend withhold sex in relationship she is Strong Woman â¢ and there as laws to protect her from the man pressuring for sex.

If boyfriend withhold money in relationship he is a cheap asshole and there are laws to ensure his woman gets half or more his money in a divorce.

There should be laws that prevent a man's money from being taken away from him by a woman he's in a relationship with. For example, if a man spends money on his girlfriend but later regrets it and feels like he was pressured into paying money then he should have the legal right to file a lawsuit against the woman for robbery.

redpillbanana · 2016-07-06T12:58:57+00:00

"But it kind of annoys me that we're living a poor, recent graduate lifestyle when we could be living so much more nicely with no real added expense to him. Is this unreasonable?"

How does this make sense? It would not cost him money and therefore be an expense?

MattyAnon · 2016-07-06T17:27:04+00:00

All of this is not a problem, **I guess**. I do think relationships should be equal.

I guess means "it's a problem". Relationships-should-be-equal is according to the feminist definition of equality: women get everything.

Women dont want to be gold-digger

They are what they are. And what they are is arrogant, entitled and opportunistic. When faced with an opportunity for digging that gold, it's what they do. What she wants isn't in the least bit relevant or true. It's what she is that counts.

Edit for the people calling him a "cheap asshole"

Noone on this sub I hope.

The general consensus of the comments seems to be that after being in a relationship with someone for 4 years they are entitled to your money.

That's the general consensus of society, yes.

The reality is that when faced with this sort of thing, the correct response of the guy is to backtrack AWAY from her... and say things like "yeah.. we've been together for a while... we should evaluate if this is what we want or not... if we're really equals.... maybe you need to earn more money ...."

The value of a relationship with a woman goes DOWN with time. She gets older, lazier, fatter, more entitled. You get richer, more experienced with life and less practised with girls. Being exclusive with a girl is a trap. You have to see the relationship as a depreciating asset and invest in it accordingly.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2016-07-06T12:51:02+00:00

Translation: "I want to be a gold digging girlfriend."

[deleted] · 2016-07-06T12:59:57+00:00

As the money grows, so does the amount of money she BELIEVES she deserves. Hamstering is one hell of a thing.

Women can rationalize anything. A prostitute could rationalize to herself that she is a virgin and BELIEVE it. To the extent that she would pass a lie detector. Women are great liars. So great that they can convince themselves that a lie is true.

Grimsterr · 2016-07-06T14:37:06+00:00

Troll post, sounds fun, you want it to be true, but it's a troll. Well done, but troll.

taracus · 2016-07-06T15:19:44+00:00

It's the natural order of things. Women expect men to provide for them, the same way you would expect your parents to provide for you when you were a child.

Imagine living a fairly "modest" (read: frugal) life style as a kid, only to learn later that your father was actually loaded but was hiding it from everyone. Wouldn't you feel somewhat cheated? It depends on how your parents raised you I guess. If you knew your family was rich and they told you straight up that they want you to learn to live modestly and be disciplined about money, you would probably be content. But if you always felt you were struggling with life and then discovered your father was loaded but hiding his money from everyone else, you will almost certainly feel cheated.

This shouldn't be a surprise at all.

It's only surprising if you've bought into the modern western feminist narrative.

EDIT:

It seems like the man in the OP is just being defensive with his property to avoid having her take half his shit under the guise of being in an "equal partnership".

He's basically saying, oh, you want an equal partnership? Here, have it.

HungryLikeTheWolf99 · 2016-07-06T16:01:38+00:00

Sort of unrelated aspect of this post, but: When you ask your unmarried SO to go to your family's wedding, you should pitch in for at least half of their travel costs. Cause they sure as hell don't want to go, let alone pay for going.

Again, mostly unrelated to the entitlement issue here.

Theotropho · 2016-07-06T16:42:15+00:00

I'll never give someone else access to my money.

I did once and she blew through my savings and then started riding my ass to make more money. Waste of my life to spend time with that kind of bitch.

Original_Dankster · 2016-07-06T17:36:16+00:00

So here we have a wealthy man, and a middle class woman. He insists that she pay 50% of everything, she wants to pay less of a percentage. In this case, the man is judged as being callous.

Imagine the sex roles reversed.

Wealthy woman, and a middle class man. She insists that he pay 50% of everything, but he wants to pay less of a percentage. He'd be instantly judged as a bum.

[edit: not saying it's right or wrong, just saying it is what it is.]

StuttBuffer · 2016-07-06T17:37:35+00:00

This is the arrangement feminists claim they are ok with. I know several self-identified "feminist" women. All of them would feel slighted just like this one.

CaptainRaz · 2016-07-06T19:11:38+00:00

Sorry to crash in sudenly. (new to reddit as a whole)

I agree with what the top comments said, that her post was in general a more os "I'm in doubt, help me". She can't keep up with hers BF' familiy expenses all the time. And its tough to be in a group where everyone expects to everyone else to have "x" money when you don't have it.

That said, it is also true that she was, in the underline thought, feeling entitled to his money. Actually, I think this was more the case then she just wanting to belong in the group.

It would be perfectly reasonable to ask her BF for help if it is to do something that HE wants to do (like the marriage), but not in the other situations mentioned.

What I want to say is that I had a very similar problem with my last ex-gf. But sort of the other way around. I never had much money. Neither, because of my carrier choices (I'm a biologist, a sad profession here in Brazil, but I choose it for love of the stuff, not for money) will I ever have. I hope, of course, to have enough to have a decent life. To me what I call a "decent life" would be absurd to any kind of gold-digger whore (just the basics and plenty of time for happiness).

So my ex-gf seemed all ok with that. She was interested in my profession and stuff I care about. Then when we were getting to the end of our first year together, she started behaving differently. Dressing MUCH differently than the occasions demanded (much "better", and with "style" - rich style, glowing stuff and shit). Also she started to try to talk more and more about work, and kept nugging me toward one or other job idea (not even opportunities, and I wasn't unemployed or anything). She, on the other hand, spent several years trying public jobs (we have huge competitions here, increadibly hard to pass, that sometimes pay off these years of study... sometimes don't, ever) and doing volunteer work at her old college. She, like me, was nearing her 30's and when the year changed (2015 to 2016) I think she just snapped. She had just got very good results for the first time in one of those public competitions, but she wasn't happy with it (don't know if she ever took the job). It was some 4k/month in our currency, which is good for a first job in any carrer here in Brazil (she is a lawyer, a much better carrer than mine). But the year changed, or someone said her something, and she started giving a huge tantrum about money. She said that she "would not be happy" if she didn't have something like 20k per month (in our currency, something that is really A LOT of money here... most colleges professores do half of that, if lucky) to live with, and that my job (or my attitude) would never get there (for sure, since this was never my goal, neither do I believe money is necessary to be happy... of course, it is necessary to have the basics, but if you can't have the basics and be happy, a lot of money won't do you any good to be happy). Of course, after that, I broke up immediatly. Not sure if I can call her a gold-digger, but surely a queen complex. And the stranger of it all is that we were neve a couple to spend much or need much. People like that must be a really pain in the ass to live with, to build a life, a family, etc. If anyone wants to chime in about it, I'm here for it.

skipennsylvania · 2016-07-06T22:45:51+00:00

Yeah, this post is questionable at best. If the boyfriend wants a more eloquent lifestyle with his girlfriend he should expect to pay more than 50/50 so that she doesn't have to live outside her means, and so she can be finiancially responsible as well. Paying in proportions of each's income, for example, would be a good way to equalize costs. She doesn't sound like she wants his money, she sounds like she wants to remain finiancially secure with her own while maintaining the long term relationship and lifestyle her boyfriend wants.

Temperfuelmma · 2016-07-06T15:42:31+00:00

@mods

Too many feminists and betas have taken over this post. This post is a bad example for men newly introduced to TRP to be shamed into being in a provider beta role.

Please remove this.

NPK5667 · 2016-07-06T14:40:45+00:00

Ive seen this posted here before or something nearly identical

[deleted] · 2016-07-06T15:01:07+00:00

I don't want to be a gold digging girlfriend that asks for thousands to be spent on her. But it kind of annoys me that we're living a poor, recent graduate lifestyle when we could be living so much more nicely with no real added expense to him. Is this unreasonable?

Maybe the guy is paying off exorbitant student loans or putting money away for a nice house? Maybe he's starting some kind of savings fund for future children and college?

Typical chick logic right here "Oh his income is $1xx,xxx/year! He can afford that!" This frame of mind is why so many women can't even keep their home under control after they steal it from their ex husband in a divorce rape. Then the home gets foreclosed and mom and the kids have to move into the 3rd floor of a 3 family house.

I mean, I know a few women who are smart with money who are wealthy and self-made.. But they're few and far between, just like a straight-male hairstylist.

IMR800X · 2016-07-07T05:53:26+00:00

chooses to split everything 50/50, leading us to live a life below what I believe our means allow.

Not even married, and it's her money already.

Red_Pill_Raskol · 2016-07-06T18:55:14+00:00

I was on the dude's side until I read he wanted her to pay for half of his dog's expenses. That's just next level jewishness.

[deleted] · 2016-07-06T19:05:51+00:00

Wait, why does she have to pay for half the dog food?

Open_your_mind_Quaid · 2016-07-06T13:53:15+00:00

I would actually have to side with the girlfriend on this post. The dude has the means to take care of his own bills but is insisting she pay for half of all their stuff; now rent is understandable but making her split all the costs for his dog...? He had the dog before they were together and now wants her to pitch in for half of all of its expenses...nahh that's just reeks of being greedy there. It's hard to understand the full dynamic of her comments about the plane ticket but if it's HIS sister's wedding and he 'expects' her to be there it would be reasonable for him to help out or at the very least pay for the hotel. And dropping the not-so-subtle hints about wanting a nicer apartment on her is just ridiculous if he expects her to upgrade to a nicer place when her income is much lower than his. He reeks of being entitled and greedy with his [family's] money and not realizing that not everyone lives with the financial cushion he's on.

BluepillProfessor · 2016-07-06T14:23:30+00:00

Hmm... This is a complex one.

Why is he living down to what the girlfriend can afford? Seems weird.

He's obviously doing this to make a point that he won't spend money on a woman - not even his live-in GF.

Why not ditch the girlfriend and just live in a lifestyle that he can afford without the baggage? Why deal with the hassle at all?

When you are rich, getting laid is profoundly easier (if you have any game at all). Get a sweet bachelor pad and pimp - seems like a fun life if you ask me.

It could be that he is grooming this woman to respect the value of a dollar so that when (and if) he does marry her she won't sit back on her laurels, demand stuff like a petulant child and expect daddy to take care of everything.

Or... It could be that he has no plans of ever marrying her and doesn't want to waste his money on a chick who he sees having a limited future with.

Not enough information is presented for me to make an accurate determination - especially when presented from her POV.

Luzer606 · 2016-07-06T15:15:28+00:00

Sounds like the boyfriend is vetting her. He's living within her means to see if she'll stay with him or whether his money will become an issue. He's finding out if the money makes a difference now before things get so serious its gonna cost him half later.

HungryLikeTheWolf99 · 2016-07-06T15:57:41+00:00

Gives us some hints about how she votes as well......

PawnToKing · 2016-07-06T16:02:20+00:00

Where have I seen this before?

aazav · 2016-07-06T16:23:07+00:00

It seems like you're a little bit off in this one.

Do you want her to be financially independent or financially responsible?

We know that women want our money. We know this already.

[deleted] · 2016-07-06T16:58:21+00:00

The responses were laughably predictable

icecow · 2016-07-06T20:16:38+00:00

With the context of the story I think this is more of a human nature thing than a woman thing. The fact that she was such a good girl about it before and that she is doubting her own reasoning as she tries to process this whole thing suggests she has/had good roots.

I don't know how cool it was was for him to invite her to his sister's wedding when he can easily afford it but she's counting pennies.

With all that said I'm not ruling out she's a few days away from blowing up to a full gold digger.

module_process · 2016-07-06T21:24:56+00:00

Looks like the 1st BDE, Downvote Chairborne Div. has found its way here.

topapito · 2016-07-07T01:06:49+00:00

I have all sorts of problems with this in so many ways.

1- Am I expected to live down from my means in order to live with a broke assed woman? Maybe it's just me, but I can't/won't do it.

2- Yeah, I pay for everything. Don't give a fuck, but the bitch on my arm is prime cut. Interchangeable like my cars. And never allowed to get too used to living the life.

3- No I will not meet your family. No you cannot meet mine.

4- You either pay her way or learn to like living at someone else's means. All human beings are gold diggers. From the guy who washes your car to the girl who cleans your knob to the, if so inclined, woman who feeds and diapers your children, their mother.

When you have serious money behind you, you're not worried about if a woman hits you up for an extra flight or a hotel stay. If you are, you are not alpha, not even beta, you are idiot material.

/rant

yomo86 · 2016-07-08T11:08:40+00:00

Iight get downvoted for this. But if a person expects me to come to his sisters wedding they better pay for my shit because I am not blood-bound to this family therfore I am not obliged to spend money on issues out of social conventions which do not apply to me. Otherwise yea she is a gold digger this whole post oozes that.

dracolius · 2016-07-06T13:34:53+00:00

[deleted]

taracus · 2016-07-06T14:53:30+00:00

This guy sounds like a clown and I don't understand your point of view.

He pressures her to go to a destination wedding, for his side of the family but wants her to pay all incremental costs and then some - that hotel room and rental car that he would need SOLO costs the same with or without her BTW.

Is this LTR advice that mutual living arrangements should never be anything less than 50/50 .. (if she had offered 55/45 on rent would you be equally offended? We are probably talking about $200 max delta here. This is for an apartment that he really wants and she is coming within throwing distance of 50/50.

Your conclusion isn't found in evidence here. She is worried about getting married and he building a life on 50/50 their income. This isn't what is happening here... they started a modest life at 50/50 and he is now wanting to elevate to luxury (with an inheritance - while still his money not really 'earned' to understand the 'value').

However, he wants to confiscate her paycheck because she can't meet 50/50 of his demands. Also, is this guy opposed to marriage, and if not, what is the difference here? Again, I don't think her fear is correct because if they did get married I think obviously he isn't going to die with a pile of money because of all the things they didn't buy at 50/50... my evidence is again in the apartment upgrade. He wants more expensive stuff but is going to her for half the bill.

What is YOUR advice? This guy is a cheap idiot. The best RP advice I can see here is don't get a live in LTR if you are not okay with someone that doesn't have the same income or family money as you, potentially causing ANY asymmetry in financial responsibility for various lifestyle elements pushed by the other person. If you have family money then might as well stick with girls from family money to avoid all this. Then both parties potentially could be clowns about the value of money and their lifestyles.

[deleted] · 2016-07-06T16:05:04+00:00

Actually with the girl on this one. Sure she's being petty (why girl is never petty?) about small things like having cold pizza instead of better meals. But I completely agree with her on the apartment thing.

Imagine you have a rich roommate who is tired of the quality of life he has living in an apartment you can comfortably afford. So even though you're happy here he attempts to pressure you to move into a "nicer" apartment that you can't. You say something along the lines of "Dude, I can't afford that shit, I'm sticking with the deal we've always had, you want to move fine. But I can't afford more than I'm already paying you."

He responds "Manipulative asshole, are you just trying to use me for my money? I want to move to a nicer place, and not only do you have to move with me, you're paying for half!"

See how someone could be frustrated by that? She was with him before she knew he was rich, she is no less attracted to him now that she knows he's also a reliable provider. (Not saying this guy is alpha, I don't know, but I don't think a beta would put a girl through this.) I don't think she is a gold digger bro.

That_Deaf_Guy · 2016-07-06T17:05:41+00:00

This guy shouldn't make his girl pay to travel to his sister's wedding.

He's also an asshole for making her cover expenses for his dog. Just sounds like a cheap guy.

ScottishIslander · 2016-07-06T15:25:30+00:00

If HE wants to move to a nicer place then they should spend equal proportions of their income (i.e. 30% of his income goes towards rent/mortgage, as well as 30% of her income).

If SHE wants move to a nicer place, then he has the right to request that they split it 50/50, because he has the higher income and would be paying more if they did proportions of income.

It sounds like his FAMILY is rich though. Not him. So that doesn't translate to him being rich. If my parents were rich I wouldn't be asking for extra money so I could live a nicer lifestyle, though I would accept it if it were offered.

Canadaismyhat · 2016-07-06T15:59:46+00:00

This is one of the reasons why it's best to find a woman who makes around the same amount of money as you, for an LTR.

Canadaismyhat · 2016-07-06T16:19:23+00:00

Man, human beings do not have much in the way of moderation. Here we see OP get so obsessed with red pill thinking that he has to apply it to every situation, and is just itching for the opportunity to feel outraged. Just take it easy man, jesus.

bisjac · 2016-07-06T19:41:57+00:00

My last ltr ended on fights related to finding an appartment together. My only standard was some kind of indoor parking, i let her pick a place since she was all about her school and kid's daycare and job and life was to hard for her to overthink things. And i wasnt picky about location, knowing she wouldnt live far from all that.

But i said i would pay half of everything, so let her decide by her budget. She dumped me because i wouldnt pay more, because i easily could. She just wants to get out of her parents home at near the same costs (she lived free).

The official reason i was dumped is because im "a jerk".

Its been 2 years now and i remain single, but dating. probably for life. I feel more free, and happy then i ever imagined.

redditplsss · 2016-07-06T15:49:01+00:00

Sometimes this sub reaches way too hard which gives it a bad rep.

PaulAJK · 2016-07-06T15:28:42+00:00

The guy sounds cheap as fuck.

If he wants live in a classier place and his girlfriend genuinely can't afford it then he has to pay himself, not leave passive-aggressive notes in her lunch. And if he want's his girlfriend to attend his sister's wedding and she's broke, then he has to put his own hand in his cheap ass pocket.

You can be 100% sure that this bloke wouldn't only be a shiity tight ass boyfriend, he'd be a real miserly friend as well. He'd be the sort of guy who'd insist on others paying their way for beers even though they were skint, and then lead the group to an expensive restaraunt where he'd order steak while they had a side salad.

dracolius · 2016-07-06T14:23:09+00:00

This is why, if done right, it can be a good thing to date women who have more money than you and know it. Probably more true for guys who are younger or haven't decided what to do with their lives.

These girls often don't make the best financial decisions, why not funnel some of that wasteful spending toward yourself? Aren't you a more worthwhile expense than an extra pedicure or pair of shoes?

Adolf_ghandi · 2016-07-06T16:20:09+00:00

Now beta zoned guy does not want to give me his money but establishes clear boundaries.

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Arnoux · 2016-07-06T16:19:42+00:00

I have read the post previously. Call me blue pill, but I think the boyfriend is cheap. He can spend a little bit on the girl after 4 years, when he has much more money. This women is scared to be pregnant from the guy and she has all the reasons to be.

I don't even want a friend like this guy.

[deleted] · 2016-07-06T19:01:04+00:00

If I oversaw ten coal mining operations what kind of character would you guess me to have?

Instead of overseeing mining I now have 20 million in my bank account. What is the problem here?

Just like the loser who torrents shit he can pay for, having money without integrity makes you an unempowered brat.

These women are looking for the same virility that comes from being a leader and protector but aren't getting it because these guys are too shallow and apathetic.

This dude is not required to pay anything at all, but showing you love someone is done through your deeds and when you have wealth not sharing is the calloused and cruel way of telling someone they aren't really that special or important.

Title	[X-post] "I dont WANT to be a gold-digging girlfriend"
Author	taracus
Upvotes	176
Comments	268
Date	July 6, 2016 12:44 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/4riaha/xpost_i_dont_want_to_be_a_golddigging_girlfriend/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/x-post-i-dont-want-to-be-a-gold-digging-girlfriend.60557 https://theredarchive.com/post/60557