Into: Men everywhere are undergoing transformation. Some are stagnate in their growth and choose to believe they are, "Fine just the way they are". Other's (like many of us here at TRP) are working hard daily to push ourselves over that obstacle, climb that next mountain, and face the next challenge in our lives. As our success grows many of us may feel like we need something to anchor our self worth down to something; our accomplishments, our women, our possessions, etc... Attaching our self-worth to such things is like anchoring to a wave or tide (if such a thing was possible). Leaving some of us looking to solidify our ego into something unshakable.

Internal vs External Anchoring of the Ego: Basing our self worth on external factors will only lead us to search for more. If I base my self worth on my possessions I am only valuable as long as I have them. For example if I base my ego on my car, when it is new I will feel good about myself, but if I crash it or it gets old my self value will will disappear along with my car. This applies to any external element (House, Finances, Women, Friends). Even accomplishments and performance are external. If I anchor my ego on my performance, for example: I have a bad week at work, or fail an assignment at school in return I am bad, and I have failed. Even if we are satisfied from anchoring our ego externally, it will always be fleeting us. We must always best ourselves to remain valuable. Once we cannot live up to our own expectation of ourselves (didn't fuck x women this week, didn't make x amount of money this year) we will disappoint ourselves with our unreasonable expectations.

Anchoring the Ego to the Deepest Part of Yourself: When a car is towed does is it anchored by the plastic bumper? Or perhaps the windows? Maybe the roof? Of course not. It is secured by the strongest, most sturdy part of the vehicle, the frame. What makes you who you are? What is the most unchanging part of yourself? Where are your strongest points? What is your frame? This I cannot show to you, each person has built themselves differently, but I can show you some of the things that compose my frame:

  • Stubbornness/persistence/determination - unwillingness to give up, especially if others suggest I do.
  • Independence/Freedom - strive to do things independently, remain dependent on no-one, and yearn to be as free as possible with as much control over my life as I can
  • Drive - to do the best I can, Make the Most out of myself, Perform at my peak as often as I can for as many things as I can
  • Skills - The skills I have developed that no one can take away from me (without maiming me or killing me)
  • Knowledge/Wisdom - Know what I Know, but always be aware there is more to learn, "A fool thinks himself a wise man, a wise man knows himself a fool."
  • Creativity - In my life, Music, Writing, Relationships, Romance, Photography
  • Search for Danger - To feel alive by living close to death
  • Belief in myself - I can do what I want and achieve my goals with the proper amount of effort

My point in listing some of the deepest parts of myself is to give you an idea what some (unchanging) parts of you could be.

Remaining Unshakable in the Face of Hardship: When our Ego is anchored to our Frame, even during the hardest times in our life we will remain true to ourselves, and still know ourselves to be valuable. In the first example if I anchor my Ego to my Car, if I crash it I am worthless. On the other hand, if I anchor my Ego to my Frame, even without my car I am still valuable. When we anchor our Ego correctly, even if we are facing hardship we can remain optimistic, "Life may be challenging right now, but I am still the same person and I will work my way through this and overcome these obstacles." vs, "I crashed my car/lost my job/got divorced/lost a family member or friend/ and I am worthless now."

I hope that this can help everyone who reads it find true value in themselves. Good luck fellow TRPers.

Edit: Man cannot remake himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculptor.