It took me two days to realize what had happened, but when I did, I understood why I got so pissed, but couldn't explain it.

A couple of days, while I was on Facebook, I had made a comment on a lesbian friend's post about Kate Beckinsale. I made a dirty joke about Kate on her page, to which she told me that while the joke was funny, her parents saw that stuff and it's best to keep it private, even if it was tasteful.

Not too long after, I got a message from her wife. I havent spoken to her wife in 2 years. The reason is that she got incredibly offended when I said her family, who she had admitted were acting trashy, were a bunch of rednecks. I said that after she explained their trashy behavior. Anyway...

It was strange for her to be messaging me out of the blue like that, but I decided to hear her out. She wanted to give me another chance and become friends. Her message, however, seemed passive-aggressive. She essentially said that the reason she hasn't communicated with me was because I was rude, uncaring, and a coward who never apologized. She actually said the word "coward." I felt insulted, but knowing I was a logical being, I wondered if maybe there was something to her words. So despite her insults, I responded, effectively...

"I had no idea that my actions had hurt you. It was a while ago and I was dealing with certain things at the time. I apologize for any trouble I caused at that time. Hopefully we can look past things and become friends, especially since I'm good friends with your wife. In order to do that, I'd like to know what exactly I did to upset you."

Which, I am. As far as females go, she is a pretty smart and creative one. I've enjoyed our conversations and she is empathetic towards my struggles.

After my response, this is what she said

"Sounds like an excuse not to own up to what you did. Why don't you man up and apologize for what you did?"

This was where I was at a crossroads. How to handle this. Do I go full on asshole and tell her to fuck off, knowing full well she's my friend's wife? Do I want to make her life harder because her wife was being a major cunt-a- saurus? Do I want to cause tensions with my friend and I? So I played along...I calmly explained to her wife that an apology with words is all I can offer and I am not sure what else she wanted.

All the while, i was screenshotting the conversation to show to my friend. Said friend must've told her wife because said wife has told me to stop sending her messages of our conversation.

She said that I was using an excuse not to admit I did wrong.

Now I know me, and generally, I'm a reasonable guy. If I get a complaint that I've wronged someone, if someone tells me why I did it, I try to rectify the mistake. So why was this woman saying I did the opposite? Moreover, why did she message me only minutes after I posted on her wife's wall, something that, up until that point, I never did. It didnt sound right.

So I did some backtracking into past conversations. Turns out, not only did I apologize for what had offended her two years ago, she never told me, my friend did. She was lying to my face and my friend's face. I should have known though, being that her wife is essentially the breadwinner in the relationship, though they both work, I couldnt just say "Hey your wife is a lying cunt" without causing even more drama.

This friend and I were working on a project together. I had to try to keep the drama down. Friend was trying to tell us we were both wrong, insulting me in the process. I felt betrayed, but then I thought for a second and realized the minute she got dragged into this, I was going to be thrown under the bus. I cut off the conversation and walked off from the drama.

Said friend called me later saying she had to take her wife'a side or else it was gonna be hell at home.

I asked her "Your wife tried to sabotage our friend, didn't she? Why?"

She took a deep breath and said "My wife has a huge problem with...masculinity."

Her wife's incredibly butch, by the way, so that statement is ironic.

"So she hates guys?"

"No, but she never liked you. She thinks you want me or something?"

"So she tries to make me look bad via Facebook? Where does she work again?"

"Dispatcher at a police department."

"The fact someone that immature and entitled is working there disturbs me. I don't mind working with you but I don't want to speak to your wife. And don't ever, ever sell me out like that."

"Fair enough."

I laughed "I thought you told me you were happily married."

"I am."

I thought to myself "When, happy you're not alone is more like it."

TL;DR: Lesbian wife of friend tried to break us up out of jealousy by trying to emotionally manipulate the both of us into doing her bidding by disguising it with a persistent victim mentality.

Holy shit, bitches are crazy. Marriage, doesn't work for gays, either.