There is a ubiquitous desire of men to have children. Many men in the US, is my impression, are aspiring to find a "good woman" and have kids. "Good woman" practically means the "traditional" women, i.e. women that exploit men the traditional way instead of the feminist one.

Why does a man want to have children? There are 7 bad reasons, and only one good one.

The Bad Reasons

a. "Traditionalist" bad reasons

1. To publicly affirm his potency and manhood, or for career and image reasons

2. To please his own parents (especially the mother)

b. "Psychological bad reasons*

3. To prove his love to his wife.

This is the most common, and most self-destructive reason. This line of action is never met with the appreciation which is expected, leading men to extreme frustration. Women think that having a baby and a provider for their needs is their birthright, never feel they owe a man a dime for it.

4. As a bait for emotional security from his wife.

Since women feel no appreciation, it's normal that they don't provide anything in return - emotional security not the least. Before the '70s they would just stay married and resent him, today they will just divorce him and resent him.

5. Self delusions of immortality

Your child is not yourself continued. When you die, it's game over.

6. Something for my old age

Children as a forced company and support for their old age. It's a good thing that the divorce rates and parental alienation are weakening this semi-unconsious reason. (This is also a major reason for women to have children. Served them right that their children often refuse to do it, forcing them to become whores at an old age - in Korea, at least (Google "The Korean Grandmothers who Sell Sex").

7. Children as indirect aggression targets

This is another favourite for men with low self-esteem. "Everyone thinks I'm an asshole. Well, I'll create a person on my own, who will be dependant on me, so he can't question my authority and my inherent value." Or "I can't slap my boss - here, slap, why did you spill the milk?".

The Good Reason

So, what's left? There is only one good reason to have children. It's when you have satiated all your hungers, lived a full life, had experienced sexual abudancy, have both time and money to support them (both time and money! - if you have to work 10 hours a day, being rich doesn't count) and the prospect of becoming a father excites you as much as getting to bed with a new and appealing girl.

So, don't be petty. Live your life to the full - your life, not your children's. Don't have children in order to serve your own insecurities.

Adam Leonas

(For a fuller discussion on this issue, read Herb Goldberg's The Hazards Of Being Male)