I am thinking about writing a book and this is my outline. I’d like some feedback and help. Thanks.
In the wild, an alpha male is a violent, selfish, narcissistic, evil, psychopath. Although the alpha male is a terrible thing and nobody should strive to be one, women have a subconscious attraction to the alpha male, one that oftentimes contradicts their rational mind, other emotions, and what is objectively good for them. The key to success with women is to subconsciously communicate to them that you are an alpha male while simultaneously being “nice” and making them feel good.
The term “alpha male” is one of the most misunderstood, misused, and cringy concepts in the internet. It is used by tons of armchair psychologists who have no idea what it means. The term “alpha male” has basically become “any man I think is good” or “any male traits I find positive.” This is understandable: gender and psychology are incredibly difficult and complicated concepts, and the manosphere isn’t getting much help from academia or science. In this article I try to explain what an alpha male is, why you shouldn’t try to become one, but why you should try to adopt some alpha traits.
My most important point here is that the alpha male is evil and represents the worst traits that a human being can have. You shouldn’t strive to become an alpha male, partly because it is impossible and even if it were possible, it wouldn’t be a good thing. Instead, you should strive to live a life based on rationality. Sometimes that will involve displaying alpha traits or putting yourself in the emotional mentality of an alpha male, but you shouldn’t try to be an alpha male full time. Furthermore, women’s attraction is completely irrational and actually a VERY BAD THING, which is why both women and society try to deny it. To woo women, you should emit alpha emotions while staying in the boundaries society has created.
What is an alpha male?
“Alpha male” is a scientific term referring to the dominant male in a group of animals. Apes are the most prominent example, but lots of animals have alphas. Apes don’t live in democracies–they live in hierarchies, where sometimes every ape has a ranking (i.e., #1, #2, #3) and lower-ranked apes must obey and defer to the higher-ranked ones. In scientific terminology the “beta male” refers to the #2 ranked ape, so he is still pretty badass. The ape at the bottom of the hierarchy is referred to as the “gamma male.” Despite the fact that the proper term for the bottom feeder is gamma, I will use “beta” here to refer to the bottom feeder to stick with accepted usage.
The alpha gets the top position because he is the best at fighting, and his reward is access to all the women and food. Because the alpha’s ability to fight and his lock on the resources, the other apes evolved to obey the alpha and to cower in fear because of him. Women evolved to be sexually attracted to the alpha because he has the best genes and the best chance of protecting them and their babies. Some scientists think that one of the reasons for depression is to stop the lower-ranked apes from challenging the alpha after he beats their ass, lest there be endless war. Similarly, one of the reasons for anxiety is to prevent lower-ranked apes from doing anything that might upset the alpha male lest they get kicked out of the tribe and left to die alone in the jungle. Scientists have even measured higher levels of cortisol, the stress hormone, in lower ranked apes than the alpha. Scientists have observed other apes moving out of the way when the alpha walks and even bowing to him. It’s serious shit.
The alpha male, in the wild, is evil. Manosphere dudes use the word “alpha” to describe a generally confident, successful, powerful guy. That is not what an alpha is in the wild. An alpha in the wild is a selfish, self-absorbed, narcissistic, insane psychopath who is also a sexual predator. No human being should strive to be an alpha male. We may want to adopt or mimic some alpha traits, but generally, the “alpha” is a character we play to get women, not a true persona we adopt. Remember the alpha male in the wild is an animal who is completely irrational and has no respect for human decency or anything like that.
While the lower-ranked apes obey the alpha, the alpha obeys nobody. Nor does the alpha care about or even notice anybody else. He has not empathy, compassion, decency or manners. Sometimes the alpha has to defend his title from challengers, but if he does so successfully, he gets to do whatever the fuck he wants.
In human terms, the alpha male is a completely selfish, self-absorbed, narcissistic, evil, psychopath. He has no compassion, empathy, or humility. He is also a glutton, a womanizer, a bully, and an asshole. And it is THIS motherfucker that women evolved to be attracted to.
Alpha males among humans
Because of our capacity for rational thought, human beings are much more complicated than apes. We have also evolved culture, society, etc..., so our “nature” is somewhat obscured. Science cannot tell us for sure whether humans have alphamales because you can’t run scientific experiments on humans – you can never have a control group or control very variable. Feminists rely on this uncertainty to argue that male-female differences are all cultural and not inherent.
All that said, common sense and observation tell us that human beings probably have the same emotions regarding alpha males that apes do. For centuries, humans have organized themselves into tribes or groups with one male at the top with complete power. The concept of God could even be seen as worshipping an alpha male. And as we all know, women seem to have a thing for the alpha male.
In the human world, however, there are no true alpha males because there is no one man with complete control over everything. The president or a rich investment banker has a lot of power, but he isn’t an “alpha male” the way an ape is because the law constrains what they can do. A UFC fighter can beat other guy’s asses, but society doesn’t give him any power. A lot of guys carry around alpha traits, but there is nobody that is a full alpha male.
This is a big point of confusion for a lot of people, including red pillers. People want to soften the definition of “alpha male,” probably because they want to believe that an alpha male is an actual thing a human being can be. They want to call a good looking, tall, successful guy that stands up for himself the alpha. THAT GUY IS NOT AN ALPHA. He is a human being with a few mildly alpha traits. People also want to soften the concept of an alpha male because they don’t want to accept the true horror of what women are attracted to.
Should you be an alpha?
First of all, unless you’re a billionaire dictator with an army who can also physically kick anybody’s ass, you CAN’T be a real alpha male in the scientific sense. More importantly, being selfish, narcissistic, violent, etc… is a good way to end up in jail, dead, hated by society, etc… Humility, compassion and selflessness are some of the most important traits a man can have.
However, as you guys know, our society is emasculating and feminizing men, so many men’s emotional makeup is that of the beta male. For this reason, you should strive to adopt some alpha traits and emotions, but tempered with logic and reason. For example, let’s say one of your friends does something disrespectful to you. The “beta” response is to just take it and not fight back. The “alpha” response would be to kick his ass until he submits, even if it means killing him. The correct response is a somewhat alpha approach tempered with rationality, which might be to confront him calmly and rationally and tell him to not do it again or else you will end the friendship. At the end of the day, all of your actions should be guided by rationality – alphaness is just an emotional boost.
In real life sometimes its better to do the “beta” thing. If your boss disrespects you, it might be better to just shut your mouth for the time being. We are not living in the jungle and you are not actually an alpha male and you don’t need to defend your turf at every turn. Sometimes you need to be strategic.
Being an alpha male can be thought of as having a particular emotional state, or engaging in particular behaviors. Ideally, you will understand the emotional state of the alpha, but also be able to switch to other emotional states when necessary. But at the end of the day, as a man your actions and emotions should be governed by rationality. Trying to be a full time alpha male is stupid.
I do encourage all men, however, to occasionally adopt the alpha emotional state. If you are ever feeling timid, intimidated by society and the universe, weak, indecisive, bored, anxious or depressed, “be” an alpha male for a limited time to clear up those emotions. Imagine yourself in the jungle with infinite power, nobody and nothing to hold you down or stop you, or nothing to inhibit you from satisfying your every emotion, no matter how base or carnal. Think of yourself as the king of the world, an intimidating figure that strikes fear in the heart of everybody, not just rationally but emotionally. Think of yourself as invincible and able to do anything, even fly, alter time or read people’s minds. Think of yourself as a vicious killer, an egomaniacal narcissist, and a lone wolf. Anxiety and depression are traits that are wired into beta males, and you can clear those up to an extent by “feeling” like an alpha male. But like I said, don’t actually act on those emotions – you should act rationally.
What women want
Women desire a complicated mixture of things in a male that often contradict each other.
If you ask a woman what she wants, she will probably tell you the normal shit that pop culture and betas tell us women want; a nice, loyal, compassionate, caring, loving, sensitive guy who is not arrogant, mean, violent, or a douchebag. And women are right – that IS what they want. No sane human being wants to be treated like shit. Also, women, like all human beings, are wired to seek pleasure. A woman addicted to cocaine would rather be with a “beta” that gives her coke than with an “alpha” that just wants to watch TV. But on a subconscious level, women are ALSO attracted to the alpha male.
Women’s desire for the alpha is irrational and emotional. You can’t reason with it, talk to it, ask it for compassion, or work around it. It’s not going to make sense, she won’t necessarily admit to it, and it will often produce bizarre outcomes. It’s there, and it’s fucked up, and it’s not going away.
Of course, women have a lot of rational reasons to desire a physically strong, confident, dominant guy with a lot of money and power, but because women’s desire for the alpha is emotional, they are oftentimes attracted to losers who give off the alpha emotions rather than actual good catches. There are a lot of guys that are great on paper but can’t get women because they don’t FEEL like an alpha. Conversely, there are guys that completely suck at life but have figured out how to emit the alpha emotions so they get girls.
Because women’s desire for an alpha male is subconscious, women oftentimes don’t realize that they have it or how deep it is. Furthermore, because this desire oftentimes contradicts their rational thoughts and other emotions (their desire for love and compassion, for example), women are oftentimes forced to deny or hide this desire like a dirty little secret. Women are also socially conditioned to avoid the alpha male because on a rational level the alpha male is usually very harmful to the woman. The social conditioning point is very important because, as Freud recognized, social pressure oftentimes becomes an “emotion” in a person’s mind, so even if you don’t rationally agree with society’s laws, you still “feel” constrained them. I like to think of social pressures as similar to an alpha male in a woman’s mind– it’s an all-powerful being that must be obeyed and in return will give you protection and other things. So when acting like an alpha male around a woman, you must be careful to not violate her social conditioning.
Because women’s desire for the alpha is so horrific, the alpha male is public enemy #1 in most society, and every society sets up “rules” to keep women away from the alpha male. For example, rules about courtship (i.e., the man has to ask the girl out and pay for dinner) are designed to keep women away from the alpha male. Most of those societal rules are dying and women no longer feel enslaved to them, but you still need to be aware of them.
Don’t get me wrong: women also have some ability to think rationally. They do it all the time, especially in the workplace where they are given rational tasks that they need to accomplish. Society teaches women that narcissists, violent guys, assholes, and selfish people are bad and that they should stay away. However, science has shown us that although human rationality is a powerful thing, it often melts away and becomes a complete non-factor in the face of emotions. A human being is about 99% emotion and 1% rationality so you can only use your rationality when your emotions are quiet.
This dichotomy between rationality and emotion is very important to understand. For all of history, men have been perplexed by the “mystery” of women – sometimes women seem emotional, weak, confused and submissive and other times they seem cold, independent, rational, and cunning. Sometimes the same woman will switch between these modes several times in the same night. The difference is when the women’s emotions are activated. If a woman is emotional she will give in to the emotion, but if her emotions are not activated she will be able to think clearly and rationally. When women’s emotions are not activated they oftentimes see men as instruments to get what they want (oftentimes, money, safety, etc…) and when their emotions are activated they feel in love. A woman will oftentimes be attracted to the “alpha” characteristics of a guy, but if he stops emitting those emotions and/or does something that awakens her rational mind she may run.
Here is the most fucked up part: not only are women attracted to the insane alpha male, they also want to form a deep emotional connection to this motherfucker. This is almost not possible because the alpha male, in his truest form, is incapable of giving a shit about anybody else.
And that, my friends, is the whole complexity of women and the difficulty of game. Women literally want two completely different, contradictory things from guys. This is why women act so irrationally and bizarrely and why both men and women are oftentimes so miserable in relationships. Having “game,” as I see it, is figuring out a way to resolve this contradiction and deliver women both sets of emotions. It’s incredibly difficult, and most men have no idea how to do it, which is why most men land squarely on one side of the ledger. They are either “douchebag” alphas that treat women like shit or they are firmly on the “beta” side of the ledger, and only focus on making women feel good. The whole point of RP is to tell guys to be the alpha, but if you completely ignore making a woman feel good then she will leave you. And like I said earlier, it is practically impossible to actually be a true alpha male all the time.
What should a man do
Given these facts, what should a man do to get women to like him? The key here is to take advantage of her selfishness. You see, you don’t have to love a woman for a woman to love you. You don’t have to form an emotional connection with a woman for her to form an emotional connection with you. So it’s a two-step process.
1) Be constantly emitting the alpha emotions so that her subconscious FEELS like you are alpha male.
2) Be rationally nice to her, but only to the extent it makes her feel good and/or is required by society’s rules. If she didn’t ask for it, and she doesn’t deserve it, don’t do it. Whatever you do, however, don’t stop emitting the alpha emotions or make her feel like she has any emotional control over you.
3) Demonstrate our awesomeness, but again, don’t do it as if you are seeking validation or trying to prove yourself to her because that would infringe on the alpha emotions that you are should be emitting.
Numbers 1 and 3 will cause her to become attracted to you and 2 will cause her to feel like you are willing to “accept” her in your harem so she will automatically form an emotional connection with you.
The alpha, however, must stay in the background. Even though women are attracted to the alpha, they consciously and rationally know that violent, narcissistic assholes will not make them feel good. So the key is to not tip off her rational and conscious mind that you are the alpha. The alpha male has to lurk in the background. He’s there, but he’s never front and center. In other words, you should emit the alpha emotions as much as you can, but temper your behavior when it is 1) wrong, 2) when it offends her rational brain in a dealbreaker-y way, 3) when it makes her feel like you are rejecting her, and 4) when it is creating negative emotions in her.
Let’s say you are a boxing reporter and you watch Mike Tyson viciously destroy a guy in the ring, fighting dirty and beating the shit out of him with no mercy. After the fight you climb into the ring to interview Mike Tyson and during the interview Mike Tyson is nice to you. Are you going to think to yourself “hey that Mike Tyson is a nice guy”? No! That would be stupid. You know he’s not. You will think to yourself “Mike Tyson is a vicious killer and he is only being nice to me because you have to be nice to the boxing reporter or else your career is fucked.” That’s how women should feel around you – they should feel like you are a vicious, psychopathic, selfish, narcissistic that just so happens to be keeping it together to be nice to her.
Here is another example: during the Vietnam War the North Vietnamese would torture American prisoners of war, but they would also force these same prisoners, under threat of torture, to get on TV and say they were being treated well. To avoid further torture, the American prisoners would do so, but some of them blinked with their eyes Morse Code that they were being tortured to secretly tell America what was happening (as a side note, the Vietnamese figured this out and tortured the American prisoners because of it). Men should do something similar to what the American prisoners did – they should act a certain way on the surface (i.e., a “nice guy”), but subconsciously communicate a completely different thing to the woman’s emotions (that they are an alpha male). The same way that the American prisoners wanted to communicate a different thing to the Americans than they were communicating to the Vietnamese, you should subliminally communicate a different thing to the woman’s subconscious than what you communicate to her conscious brain. That probably sounds bizarre, and that’s because women’s emotions are weird.
When women leave the house looking for guys, they don’t think “I want to find an insane narcissistic psychopath that is aggressively sexually.” They think “I want a hot guy who is intelligent, funny, etc…” When you see me hanging out with girls there is no indication that I’m trying to be an “alpha male.” I’m incredibly nice, gregarious, funny, etc… But underneath that façade, I subconsciously communicate that yes, I am that motherfucker.
The Emotional Persona of the Alpha Male
The first step is the hardest, which is to adopt the emotional persona of the alpha male, tempered by logic and restraint. You need to figure out “how would an alpha male feel and act in this situation.” This is a long, difficult process because no man is really an alpha male so you have to put yourself into the emotional shoes of a character that can’t really exist in our society. Also, many of you are programmed to have the emotional persona of the beta male so you automatically and unthinkingly do “beta” things. You need to reprogram yourself.
You can’t pretend to be an alpha male because women are EMOTIONALLY wired to be attracted to the alpha male. Women can “feel” what a real alpha male is and if you are pretending you just look like a try hard douchebag. The highest level of game is when you can emotionally make her feel like you are an alpha but rationally and superficially you look like a nice, fun guy.
Here are some examples:
Let’s say you are at a bar and some guy tries to fight you. Most “fake alpha” guys in that case would get loud and do a bunch of tough guy shit to impress the girl they are with. But that’s not what a real alpha male would do. A real alpha male would very calmly and coolly defuse the situation. If absolutely necessary you would kick his ass, but that would also be done in a calm way – you would say “hey man, I would love to fight you. However, let’s go outside where we won’t break anything or disrespect this bar.” Remember – the alpha male KNOWS he can kick your ass, so he has no reason to get crazy or agitated. It’s the lower-ranked apes that are stressed and anxious – and women evolved to FEEL who is an alpha ape and who isn’t.
When you act super-calm like this both men and women freak out because they “feel” like you are the alpha male. I’m not a fighter but every time I am challenged I very calmly reacted like nothing weird or scary was happening at all. Every single time the guy has backed down. One time a bunch of guys tried to fight me in a bar because the girl I was with pushed one of them down the stairs (she said he grabbed her ass). I got surrounded by these three guys and I was terrified, but I acted completely calmly and I said “sure I’ll fight you. Let’s go outside first. I don’t want to disrespect the security here.” Despite trying to act tough, I saw their confidence melt away little by little until one of them said “hey we need to get out of here, this guy’s crazy.” I’m not saying this story to act like I’m a tough guy – I would have probably gotten my ass kicked. The point here is that humans communicate subconsciously and are wired to “feel” certain things from other people, and if you act like an alpha male would react, women will like it.
It is important for people to be able to separate out reality and human emotions. Emotionally, women want the alpha male. But in reality, that’s a bad thing to want and it is also a bad thing to be.
The traits of an alpha you can emulate
The following are some traits of an alpha you can emulate. This “traits” taken together are absurd and almost impossible to actually emulate on a full time basis. This is because this is how an animal would act – no human being can really be like this all the time in our society. But the closest you can “feel” like this creature, the more women will like you. These behaviors also work to make other men feel like you are the alpha male.
Calm When most people think of an “alpha male” they think of a loud, boisterous, roided up douchebag. That is not necessarily an alpha male – the most important characteristic of the alpha male is that he is calm. Remember, the alpha male isn’t ever stressed, anxious or depressed– the betas are stressed. If you want to be attractive to woman, you have to be calm at all times, no matter what is happening. This means, partly, that you should never put yourself in a situation that could create stress for you.
Selfishness First and foremost, the alpha male is selfish because he only lives for himself and has no compassion or empathy for anybody else. Nor does the alpha need anybody else or serve anybody else. For those reasons, a true alpha male is a full-time hedonist, chasing his own pleasures and ignoring everybody else. Of course, you shouldn’t REALLY be like that all the time, but around women you should emit the emotion of selfishness. You should only be worried about your own fun, and any fun the woman has should be subsidiary to your fun and only because she has decided to join you on whatever you are doing. For example, the ideal date is where the man does something he was going to do anyway, and the woman joins and also enjoys it. If the woman feels like you are sacrificing your own fun or happiness for her, she loses attraction because you are no longer the alpha male.
You may be thinking: isn’t it bad to be selfish? Not really. People only get angry at you for being selfish when your selfishness is hurting them. If you walk into a woman’s apartment and eat her last ice cream sandwich, she will be angry. So all you have to do is not hurt people with your selfishness. Your selfishness should be self-contained: remember, an alpha male doesn’t need anything from anybody so a true alpha male wouldn’t be eating her ice cream sandwich in the first place.
Granted, it is going to be very hard to be selfish around women. You have probably been socialized that it is the man’s responsibility to make sure the woman has fun. And just as a human being who has friends, you are naturally going to want to make sure that she is enjoying herself too. But in this case, you have to harden your heart and do the “right thing” because it is actually more attractive to women to be benignly selfish than to supplicate to them.
Of course, you shouldn’t ACTUALLY be selfish. If you make her watch a bunch of movies she doesn’t like, she will leave and find a guy she enjoys spending time with. Avoid hurting her feelings, making her feel bad, or depriving her of things that make her feel good. Let’s say you are enjoying a movie and she gets sick and needs to go to the hospital. Or she just found out her grandmother died and wants to talk about it. A “true” alpha male would tell her to fuck off and finish the watching the movie. Of course, as a human being, you should stop the movie and take her to the hospital or talk about her grandma. Whatever attraction she lost because you stopped being selfish is going to be greatly outweighed by the gratitude she will feel because you helped her. That said, if you are enjoying a movie and she just kind of wants to watch something else, you should maybe stand your ground. This type of thing requires you to read the situation and use your emotional intelligence, but you should always err on the side of selfishness.
We all know that women are attracted to men who will “take charge.” This is partly because the alpha male is naturally the leader of the back. Leadership is related to selfishness – the alpha HAS to be the leader because he doesn’t care what anybody else is doing – he only does what he wants to do.
Simply put, the alpha gives orders to women and other men, he never takes them. There is no easy way for you to get a point where you can boss around other men, but with women it is a bit easier. You absolutely cannot let women tell you what to do. Period.
Because women have a subconscious desire for the alpha, they will test your dominance by trying to get make you do things for them. You must resist, but in a way that doesn’t look like you’re resisting. If you look like you’re resisting, you may reawaken her rational brain and make her think you are acting weird or douchey. Here is an example: let’s say you’re on a date and the girl orders a drink and asks you to hold her purse. Now, even if she doesn’t know it, she is subconsciously testing your dominance. But if you say “no I won’t hold your purse!” you will look like a weird douchebag. You need to be more subtle. Depending on the situation, I may grab her purse but immediately put it down somewhere. Or I may grab her purse and go talk to another woman (if it’s appropriate). In any event, I am subconsciously communicating that I am the alpha without tipping her off that something’s wrong.
You may be thinking “there is no way to sustain a relationship for any length of time if I don’t ever do anything for her. At some point I will have to grab a drink from the fridge, pick her up from somewhere, give her something she asks for, etc...” You’re exactly right. But here’s the key: the alpha male doles out his blessings in return for subservience. In other words, you need to make her do things for you FIRST, and always make sure that SHE has done more things for you than you have for her. Anything you do for her has to be payback for something she did for you. If I was a computer, I would have a list of what each person has done for the other and make sure her list was longer than mine.
Ben Franklin had a theory that said that if you want somebody to like you, instead of doing things for them, you should get THEM to do things for YOU. I think his theory is correct, and it may be because if you do things for somebody, you will subconsciously feel like they are the alpha and everybody (men and women) is attracted to the alpha. Psychologists have also discovered that humans and monkeys naturally want to feel like things are “fair” and nobody is getting more than they deserve. Monkeys get angry if they see that another monkey got more grapes for them. Translated into the dating world, if person A does something for person B, person A will be more attracted to person B because subconsciously person A will feel like person B owes them something and will do something for them. Conversely, if person B does something for person A unprompted, instead of liking person B, person A will run away because they will subconsciously feel that they now owe person B something and they don’t want to pay up. Yes, human psychology is weird.
Here is an example of what I do: I go to a pool party. The first thing I do is introduce myself to the girls and guys there because that’s what people are socially conditioned to expect. Next, I jump in the pool and start having fun because I’m the alpha male and I do what I want. While in the pool, I will call out to a girl not in the pool and ask her to bring me my sunglasses. If I’m smooth and subtle about it, she will do it for me. And now I have officially gotten her to “obey” me and now she will be ever so slightly more attracted to me. Of course, I can’t make it obvious that I am trying to get her to “obey” me, because then her rational brain will kick in and resist because nobody consciously wants to “obey” anybody else.
Part of the fun of “game” to me is figuring out these puzzles, like how can I walk up to a completely strange girl in a bar and get her to start doing stuff for me? It takes creativity, confidence, and emotional intelligence to read the situation, but if you pull it off you will hypnotize girls.
Simply put, an alpha male doesn’t need anything from anybody, ever. Even small things. Asking a girl out on a date is needy. Telling her you are in love with her is needy. Even texting her something that requires a response is needy. Of course, you need to do ask girls out and text them, but the key is not “feel” needy. That’s why PUAs teach that to ask a girl out for the first time you have to text her and say “I’m going to be at [some place], you should come.” That way, you don’t look like you need her there, you were doing it any way and you were offering the opportunity to come. Of course, even this kind of text can look needy based on the context. If you text her “I’m at X, you should come” every day she will know you want her there. Remember, it’s not what rationally happens, it’s how she feels about what you do.
You may object, “doesn’t this contradict what you just said, which is that you should try to get women to do things for you?” Yes, it does. Because we are dealing with emotions here, there will be a lot of weird, contradictory stuff because women’s emotions are weird and contradictory. But remember – it doesn’t matter what you actually say or do, but how it FEELs to the girl. As long as you don’t FEEL needy, you are fine. Going back to the sunglasses by the pool example, if I had stood in the pool and begged the girl like a child to bring me my sunglasses, she wouldn’t have felt like I was an alpha male. Your asking for things has to feel smooth and subtle.
In the ape world, the alpha male is “above” the other apes. But you have to realize that the idea of one human being “above” another human being is not real – it’s purely an emotional construct.
In the human world, this is best achieved by actually be transcendent. You should be smarter than her, richer than her, funnier than her, etc... Studies have even shown that women are attracted to men that are taller and wider than them. Aside from actually being transcendent, you should FEEL transcendent. The best explanation of this comes from this first chapter of the Bible. In Genesis 1:2 it says “the earth was chaos and desolation, and darkness was on the face of the deep, and the spirit of God was hovering over the face of the water. And God said, ‘let there be light,’ and there was light.” In our analogy, the woman is earth and you are God. You hover over the chaos but you are not part of it – you transcend it. You may offer your opinion, but you don’t go down and try to physically fix it yourself or become part of it. And importantly, you never let her control you or even know everything about you. If she could “figure you out” and know all there is to know about you, you would no longer be God.
The human brain has a quirk where it can’t handle uncertainty so if it doesn’t know something it will try to make up a story for it or fill it in with information it does know. For example, all human eyes have a small blind spot, but we never notice it because our brain usually fills it in with the stuff surrounding the blind spot (if you close one eye and move your finger where your blind spot is your finger will disappear because your brain will fill it in wrong). The same way, if a woman doesn’t know precisely how much money or power you have, you can trick her into thinking it is more than it really is. The key here is to never recite numbers or facts or figures to the woman, so she has this uncertainty that her brain will have to wrestle with. This is just a cheap trick, however, and not something you can build a relationship on. Because women have such a strong desire for these things, they are very observant and good at figuring out what guys have what.
Confidence Confidence comes from the Latin “con (with) + fidence (faith).” So a confident person is one who has faith. Faith in what? Faith that they can do anything they want. Your confidence should consist of your honest, deep-seated belief that you can do anything and you are allowed to do anything. That’s why the best way to “game” a girl is to just do whatever you genuinely feel like doing (within the bounds of what I taught you an alpha male should do).
An Awesome Life
All this sounds good in theory, but it doesn’t answer the main question, which is WHAT SHOULD A GUY ACTUALLY DO? Like, when I walk into a party, what should I do? The answer is: have an awesome mission or goal, both on a macro level (your life) and micro level (the party you are at). A rock star, a DJ, or even a bartender oftentimes “feels” like an alpha to girls because they are doing something cool. The act of doing something cool, which is alpha by itself, is compounded by the fact that to do something cool you oftentimes must exhibit alpha traits: selfishisness, dominance, non-needineses, calmness, etc...
The sad truth, however, is that making a woman feel like you are the alpha male is not all about how you act. At the end of the day, you actually need to have some level of power, money, physical attractiveness, etc... No matter how much of an “alpha male” a short, fat, bald, poor loser acts like, women still probably won’t be attracted to him. Also, while being an alpha male is an extremely important part of attracting a woman, there are other things women are attracted to: intelligence, humor, compassion, shared interests, etc... You can be an alpha male all day and the woman just may not like you.