This is my first time writing a long post for TRP, I've lurked for a long while and recently I've been starting to come to terms with my own insecurities and be alright with them. This is one of the big steps towards loving yourself without being an egotistical twat.

Summary:

For the things that are fixable(physique, haircut, fashion, job, etc.) take the advice that is constantly parroted here. There's a reason everyone says to lift in every post. Fix what you can. For the things you can't fix, do what you can but realize that eventually you'll have to let go of the anxiety about those things (easier said than done, I know) and instead focus yourself on making yourself the best you can be with what you have.

Body:

Some background: At age 16, I stood at a towering 5'6" (167cm for nonAmericans), had struggled with cystic acne for a long time, was skinny, had a bad haircut (think knockoff version of bieber), and was not assertive or willing to stand up for myself. I looked and acted like an AFC. After I discovered Game at 16 and eventually TRP and the manosphere at 17, I realized that many of the things that I had problems with were completely fixable.

So, I cut off my bieber-esque mop of hair and got a stylish haircut. I started devouring every scrap of information I could find on Game (not necessarliy a good thing, don't be a theory nerd. Seriously, practice with five real women helps more than watching a hundred RSD videos). I started lifting, although I hadn't really started making serious progress until this past summer, when I pulled my head out of my ass and realized that the only way to make real progress is to have a proven program and EAT ENOUGH. Seriously, can't stress that enough. If you're skinny and not making progress on your lifts, eat more.

The biggest challenge for me was deprogramming my mind from sixteen and a half years of people telling me to "just be yourself" and that "one day, those girls will realize how great you are!" Yeah, when they're ready to hop off the carousel and suck the soul out of some poor bastard after they hit the wall. My parents had instilled in me the idea that if someone disliked me or was angry with me for anything, that I'd done something wrong and needed to fix it. NOPE. Confrontation is still something that doesn't flow naturally with me, but I'm getting over it. Interesting how A&A works for shit tests from both women and other men. Incredibly, once I stopped fearing the mild anger of others, it really allowed me to act how I wanted and discover my own personality, which I had suppressed for a long time.

What's the lesson so far? Identify, objectively, the things that you can improve upon in your own life. Then, work your ass off to improve them. Lift heavy and often, eat big, visit malehairadvice and malefashionadvice if need a starting point for improving your appearance. Don't be everyone's doormat. Read No More Mr. Nice Guy.

Now, the things that I can't fix. Everyone has these. Maybe you're short like me. Maybe you have acne like me. Maybe you're just plain ugly. Whatever it is, almost everyone has something that they don't like that they can't fix. The key thing here is this: Do what you can to mitigate it, but once you've done what you can, you have to stop worrying about it.

I'll use myself as an example. I'm shorter than average, and that bugs me. It makes me less physically intimidating so I have a hard time getting people to treat me like an adult (I guess legally I'm not) or someone who isn't to be trifled with. My "solution"? Wear shirts with vertical stripes for an optical illusion. I have inserts that I put in my shoes to add a couple extra inches. I lift heavy to make myself larger. But beyond that, there's no training I can do to make myself taller. So what? Nobody's perfect. If you want to be happy with yourself, you have to eventually say "Fuck it. I can't fix this, so I have to focus on being the best version of myself I can be." To use a hastily constructed analogy, say you're told to paint a picture but you're only given red and yellow paints. Maybe you wanted to paint something with blue in it? Tough shit, you don't have any blue paint. Make the best painting you can with various shades of red, yellow, and everything in between. Will your masterpiece have blue in it? No, but you can still make a kickass portrait with what you have. Love yourself and do the best you can with what you have.