I often post comments here giving my lifestyle with my wife as some sort of example. We're in a relationship where I date other women and we often have threesomes - but she's not allowed to be with other guys (so not an open relationship).

And often I get messages requesting how I set up an arrangement like this, so I'd like to make a post to guide anyone interested in this sort of arrangement.

Do note, this is from my personal experience, not some scientific study - so take it with a grain of salt and see what works for you.

 

Maybe some proof that I'm not full of shit

My favourite photo. I was starving, so I drove to McDonalds while my wife and the girlfriend "explored one another".

http://i.imgur.com/LgVEMH7.jpg

 

Some context

I like to mention my short stature so other "height-challenged" men don't get the impression that you need to be a Greek God to achieve something like this. I'm 165cm tall (167, 169, depending on shoes, hah).

I'm from Brazil, but I live 50-50 in Western Europe and Eastern Europe (business and depression in W.Europe, fun and happy in E.Europe). My wife is Eastern European.

 

Note on LTR and how easy it makes threesomes

I haven't had threesomes with girls that I have no relationship with. It's a hell of a lot easier to get a threesome when you already have a girl you are with, than to find two girls up for it.

With my wife though, we've had threesomes with 14 different girls in just over a year. This is considering that I am a workaholic who very rarely has time to find girls.

 

What kind of girl would agree to this kind of setup

I've found that virgins and sluts alike are willing to accept being the "third" girl. While this is different from being the main girl you are with that's accepting of other women, it's a small indicator that more girls than you'd think of would be willing to 3somes. I've had a few virgins that were more than excited about going on dates with my wife and I.

Don't expect a Christian girl who prays to the lord and goes to church to agree to you seeing other women though.

 

What you need to bring to the table

The higher SMV you have, the higher your chances of your girl accepting that you see other women. You've probably read here that girls would rather share an alpha than have a beta to herself and this is completely true.

One thing to add though which may seem somewhat ironic, is you need to be a man of honour, dependable, and someone who is trustworthy. If she can't trust you, she will likely not agree to anything like this. I'll elaborate on this below.

 

How to bring up the topic

Before I married my wife, I straight out told her that I'm not someone who could be with only one woman for the rest of my life. I gave her the choice to be with me or to leave.

This is something that the earlier you bring into the relationship the better. This will set the stage of what a relationship with you entails, rather than you bringing it up 3 years into a LTR.

It will also make it her choice of whether to be with you or not, instead of it seeming as if you're giving her an ultimatum after a long monogamous relationship.

When bringing it up, it's best to do it when you are having the talk about "making things more serious". Explain to her that she will always be the first and that if you are to leave her, it's because she stops being who you want to be with - not because of another girl.

Make it clear that you are together with her, she is the one you want to be with, etc. etc. but that you are simply a sexual man.

 

Trust

Trust is extremely important in a setup such as this. She needs to trust you that you won't break up with her the moment you stick your dick into something new. She needs to also trust you that you are not going to do things behind her back.

You need to let her know of the girls you are flirting with, the girls you are seeing, and the girls you are fucking. If she catches you lying about some girl, it will make her extremely insecure and it will make you come across as someone who is not serious about your relationship.

You need to understand that it may become very easy for her to feel insecure about herself and whether you will run off with another woman. You need to be more caring than usual towards her (without going overboard) as she needs to feel that even though you fuck other women, she is the one you really are with.

 

How to find other women. How your LTR/wife can be better than you

Tinder and going to clubs are always the #1 way to find other women.

Something interesting which I found though, is that having a LTR/wife makes it a lot easier to get other girls simply based on the fact that if a girl sees you with another girl, her interest goes up. I also found that a lot of girls are quite curious about being with other women, so my wife can very easily start chatting or making out with a girl, introduce me to her, and escalate things. Girls seem to drop their guards almost entirely to her.

So try going out to bars and clubs, and get your girl to chat up other women. Try not to look like a pervert with your dick in your hand waiting for your girl to find a prey, but be someone who is having fun that happens to have a wife who is into women.

When I find girls on my own, I usually take them to a first date alone, fuck them, and then explain the situation. I then give them the choice to stop seeing me. This hasn't been a deal breaker for any girl so far.

And ofcourse, the better looking your wife/LTR is, the much higher the chances other women will be interested.

 

How to bring it up to other women that you are "taken"

As I mentioned, I've never had a girl stop seeing me because I am married. I suggest you wait until you date her a few times and have sex with her first though.

From there, when the time of "what are we" conversation comes up, you can explain that you are in a LTR/married and that your wife knows, and you want to continue seeing her - but she is not the only one. It's her choice to continue or not.

 

Introducing the girls to each other

When I introduce other women to my wife, I tend to do it at home, after having sex with them. The first few minutes are always awkward as they don't really know how to react. I found it's best to leave them to talk for a bit and become friendly. Bringing out the wine also helps to get everyone more social and relaxed.

From there, it helps to take them both out on a date and somewhat set the stage for how things are. Preferably somewhere fun such as a bar, where they can flirt with one another and become more comfortable. From there, take them home.

 

Finally, the threesome

Most girls haven't really had a girl on girl experience. So it's important that you are the leader. Start by getting both of them turned on, and instruct them to "explore" each other. Depending on how much they get into it, it may be wise for you to leave them be for a little while.

During sex itself, it's the same about leading. You may need to instruct them on what to do, as they may not really be sure of how they should act/what they should do in such a situation.

You need to understand though, you should really focus on them enjoying it. The more pleasure they get out of it, the more likely they are to want to continue seeing each other and engaging in threesomes.

Also remember to make it fun - I often let my wife and the 3rd girl try to fuck each other with a strap on, simply because they don't really know the "rhythm" and it can be a good laugh :-)

 

Taking care of your LTR

After seeing a girl alone, or after a threesome - you need to be extra romantic and caring towards your "main woman". You need to show her that even though another girl was involved, she is still the one you want to be with.

A lot of times she will feel very insecure, specially after the first time you are with another girl. You need to show her that there's nothing to be insecure about, and nothing to worry about. Don't make a big deal out of it though.

Over time as I've experienced with my wife, she became so comfortable to the point that she's pointing out girls and talking about fucking other girls more often than I am - when initially she had quite a bit of insecurities regarding me dating other women.

Not every woman can handle the emotions that come with knowing that her man sees other women, but the more you show to her that "it's just sex", the more comfortable she will feel.

 

Other men

My wife has no interest in being with other men, and she knows that if she was to cheat - I would divorce her in a heartbeat. Of course, all women have the possibility to cheat, so I'm under no illusions - but from what I see, she is loyal (so long as I keep being someone she can respect).

I see a HUGE difference in a man being with other women, than a woman being with other men. If you are with other women, it raises your status. If she is with other men, she will lose respect for you.

So, make it very clear that it doesn't go both ways - and if she even suggests something like this, I advise you to consider the relationship over or that she will cheat.

Sometimes my wife does fuck other girls alone while I'm on the computer working (if I'm not interest in the girl, or if I'm just too deep into programming to bother). I feel no jealousy towards this and I even encourage it.

 

Conclusion

I don't know how well constructed my post is to be as useful as I hope it is. This half-open relationship has greatly strengthened my relationship with my wife and I have nothing but good things to say about how things are.

Being with other women gets rid of that "itch" you often get after being with only one woman for so long, and it can make you appreciate even more the girl you have at home.

All in all it makes life a lot more interesting :-)