Summary
Be strong. Be true. Be a man. Don't shit where you eat.
Body
I have managed 100+ people in my career in companies with <10 people to >100k people. You know how to deal with men. You DO NOT know how to deal with women. The opportunities and risks are very different.
Lady Boss
Very few women make good bosses. Yes they do exist, but you are unlikely to find them. You will find women who have been brainwashed into thinking that they need to be "strong" (bitchy) to succeed in a man's world. They mistakenly think that acting like a tyrant is being strong. They think that yelling at you when you are wrong/late/inaccurate shows leadership. When they feel pressure from top, they come straight at you and transfer the pressure at you. They think this is moving fast. They will follow BS corporate rules that do not make any sense because they think this is being a good corporate citizen.
Actually, many male bosses are like this too. The corporate world is totally fucked up. In small startups, its a bit better because the team is under 20 people feels like a large family and you need to treat everyone right. In a large corp there is a huge HR department that encourages women to complain about all manner of shit. Real life example: back in the day, there was a "casual friday" rule that allowed people to wear jeans on Fridays. One woman wore jeans on a wednesday and what did one of the other women do? Go and file an HR complaint. HR is jammed with BS complaints like this. Its totally shit -- Im not exaggerating.
To handle a lady boss, treat her exactly like a man. Don't worry, you will lose all attraction to her and she to you. The power relationship is inverted. Never be afraid to dissent. Talk calmly and state facts. Do not let her emotionally rile you up. Do not let her change goal posts.
Boss trick 1: Pressured Estimate
Boss: "Can you get this done by wednesday?"
You: "Friday at least"
Boss: "How about thursday?"
You: "Friday"
Boss: "Why does it take that long?"
You: "Thats my estimate based on experience"
She's trying to pressure you to agree to thursday. If you did and do not deliver, she will shame you/yell at you.
Boss trick 2: Pile more shit on you
Boss: "Hey, this came up urgently, can you do this quick?"
You: "Are you prioritizing this above the work for Friday?"
Boss: ...
You: Cause that will move to monday if I work on this now.
Subtle trick to get you to overwork. She knows you will try hard to keep your earlier commitment
Boss trick 3: Shame
Boss: (in a meeting in front of everyone) You said you would do this by Friday. I see you cant do anything on time.
You: I'll be more conservative in my estimates next time.
Public shaming is punishment.
Boss trick 4: Reduce your resources
Boss: Hey, I have put Jim to work on Project X. Our customer 54 million contract is dependent on it.
You: Do not interfere with my team without my prior permission (Yes, you have a right to say this!)
Again another trick to put more load on you.
The above are examples only. To generalize, you should enforce covenants and boundaries. That is what makes a strong leader, not bitching and trickery.
Lady Peer
First of all, do not ever think of fucking someone you work with. Do not flirt with her. Do not flirt back. Do not go for post-lunch walks with her. Do not have daily tea breaks with her. You can do all of these occasionally, but never regularly.
There was a woman who was flirting with a friend of mine at work. This dude would regularly go to her desk and make small talk/light flirting/banter. I'm a witness to the fact that she initiated this friendship (probably bored at work). Obviously the words they exchanged when printed on paper would sound innocent but it wasn't fooling anyone in the office. Obviously nothing was happening -- It was just regular conversation nothing more.
One fine day, the lady was called in by her boss to talk about underperformance. She immediately claimed that she was distracted because my friend was flirting with her everyday and it was making her uncomfortable and impacting her performance. The bitch basically sacrificed the dude to save her job. My friend underwent months of HR BS and sexual harassment training. Tough shit. Fortunately, they did not fire him -- just moved him to a different group.
Never, ever go to drinks alone with a female peer. This is just like a woman walking alone at night. Nothing may happen 99% of the time. But its the 1% that gets you.
It is best that all activities with your team are group activities. Avoid drinking heavily at work activities, no good ever comes from it.
Note: Hitting on women who are in a totally different team, preferably in a different building are safer but in a large corp, gossip will eventually reach HR. Any allegations of misconduct, even hearsay from jealous betas will result in a workplace investigation. This is required by law. If you start a thing with someone like that, make sure no one from work sees you together (Its also important for her reputation). Meet away from work, hang out and fuck at places where coworkers do not frequent.
Lady subordinate
A female subordinate and you will feel strong attraction to each other due to the power relationship. You should never act on it. The moment you do, you give up all power over her. She can challenge you, go to HR (again for BS reasons). You will forever be tied to her since any attention you give to another female will cause her to display change in behavior that will be obvious to everyone in your team. You will lose credibility and rumors of unfairness will crop up. Its total shit after that. If you break up with her, you better have another team that will accept her because working together will be awkward as fuck and everyone will notice.
However, while you dont act on it, you should understand that when a woman wants you, she will work very hard at her job. Do not pretend that she is a neuter person that just does work for you. She is a woman and acknowledge it. Always be a leader, understand that her desire for you makes a better work relationship. As long as you dont show/act on attraction, the power relationship is maintained and she will rave about what an awesome boss you are.
Extra
Do not flirt with your colleague's wives. The power you get from the support of your team is far great to endanger with such rash behavior
[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorVasiliyZaitzev50 points51 points52 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]no_face[S] 106 points107 points108 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]asa93[🍰] 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]no_face[S] 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]asa93[🍰] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 29 points30 points31 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]GuitarHero0711 points12 points13 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]bigk1234511 points12 points13 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]BreathOfDick4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]no_face[S] 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 10 points11 points12 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]no_face[S] 3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]PortiaOnReddit1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]scotFree6616 points17 points18 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Chrisganjaweed4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]eks912 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BreathOfDick0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]no_face[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]1SeemedGood7 points8 points9 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]no_face[S] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]xray777 46 points46 points46 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]no_face[S] 27 points28 points29 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]1SeemedGood14 points15 points16 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]aanarchist5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]sharp79 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Kardlonoc11 points12 points13 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]stemgang6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]thejesusfish10 points11 points12 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]RF-Guye3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]jupc2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]JamesK19737 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]goldnhorde5 points6 points7 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]no_face[S] 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]goldnhorde1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]jimmyjoejimbob1 point2 points3 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]goldnhorde1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]jimmyjoejimbob1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]goldnhorde0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]gkart28900 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]goldnhorde0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]VTMSCHVSVCTRY 7 points7 points7 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[+]1v1crown-22 points-21 points-20 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]thecajunone9 points10 points11 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]no_face[S] 14 points15 points16 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]thecajunone7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BreathOfDick0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Windryder6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]traversecity6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ronsoness6 points7 points8 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]no_face[S] 12 points13 points14 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]fcb982922 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]no_face[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]awrenj2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TyrannyVengeance1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BreathOfDick1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Fedor_Gavnyukov1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]bbmc7gm6fm0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]DrHolz0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]HonestyOverCivility[🍰] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]HeinousFu_kery0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 points1 points1 points | Copy Link
[–]mawnicker 2 points2 points2 points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 points1 points1 points | Copy Link
[–]alphaalchemy0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]1mr_nate_0 points1 point2 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]BreathOfDick1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]1mr_nate_0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]goldnhorde1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]1mr_nate_0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]goldnhorde0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Archimedean-3 points-2 points-1 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]BreathOfDick0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]rizzla4540 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Archimedean0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+]aanarchist-11 points-10 points-9 points (11 children) | Copy Link
[–]silverpilled7 points8 points9 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[+]aanarchist-15 points-14 points-13 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]forcevacum4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MontmorencyWHAT1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ronsoness4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]no_face[S] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link