So I was encouraged by u/Red-Curious after commenting on this post to go ahead and share what the Lord has convicted me of this quarantine. Please excuse any english or grammar mistakes, I am from Latin America.

Glad to meet you all, let me introduce myself :) I'm a 24 year old christian who grew up in a jewish household (other jews consider me a messianic jew, I identify as a Christ follower), so I always lived a "straight" life: behavior wise. Grew up in a God-focused home, shabbat every friday, modest dressing, no men in my life, apart from 1 long-term relationship, no partying, no drinking, etc. all the way up to 21 years old when I encountered Christ. The way my current life is set up, I don't have much space or time for "sinful" habits: Full time job, getting my masters degree, marathon training, I serve 2 times a week in church, am part of the media team and so on. I'm pretty busy...

But then, quarantine.

I did not realize how lazy, undisciplined, sinful, childish, immature, selfish I am until I got handed with 10+ hours of free time a day. My country is in complete lock-down, it is ilegal to leave your house out of your assigned day and time (1 hour), so I literally am stuck with my own thoughts and habits and boy, am I repenting. Like every hour or so.

I LOVE time with the Lord when my life is busy, its my sustenance, what I look forward to at 5:30 am, but as soon as I have the WHOLE day to be in His presence, suddenly Youtube, sewing, baking and anything but my prayer time seems to be super interesting. Where did my "spiritual discipline" go? It was never there to begin with, I just selfishly looked to the Lord for relief and not genuine relationship. I showed up because it benefited me, but now that im relaxed, stress free and entertained, I let go of intimacy with Him? Convicted. I'm owning up to my selfishness.

I am not as fit as I thought. Sure, I look fit because genetically I have a small waist and "womanly" body that keeps pretty trim, plus I work out a lot BUT leave me alone with food and no outside to run? I gained weight. 3 weeks into quarantine and I saw a 4 lb increase. Convicted. Since then, I discovered r/1200isplenty, have lost the weight and will continue to drop more, practicing discipline and denying myself. I'm owning up to my new-found-was-probably-always-there-laziness.

I've never been a big social media, attention drawing person. Heck, I just recently got an IG account less than a year ago and have like 100 followers... but Ive found myself jealously looking at other girls on social media these past weeks and wanting to post something for attention. I posted 3 times in 1 week... not even pictures of myself, just bible verses and what not but its still something I never used to do. So maybe I wasn't so "secure in my identity in Christ" as I claimed to be, but was just too busy to be aware of other people´s lives. My heart condition wasn't as pure as I thought. Convicted. I'm owning up to the attention seeking and vain intentions in my actions.

I've always said I'm "patiently waiting" for the Lord's timing regarding my husband. I am actively preparing for that role and am very confident in God's goodness (or so I thought). I've had like 5 panic attacks feeling like quarantine will never be over, I will never leave my house again, will not meet a man and will die single, wasting away the desire to serve a man that God gave me and the beauty + traits I have developed with His help. Ok... so you *werent* as confident as you thought, huh? Convicted. I'm owning up to the unbelief and impatience that fueled the panic.

Basically being "reign-free" and just doing what I want for a couple weeks showed me who I truly am when you take all the routine, business and occupying things out of my hand. I praise the Lord for His work in me during these times and have been doing a lot of introspection, honest self evaluation and taking note of the sin I had foolishly swept under the rug. Reading r/RedPillWomen has helped in detecting more bad habits I have to work on during this time. I don't want to "behave" like I'm set free and redeemed by Christ, I want to genuinely be set free from the deepest parts of my soul. I've been praying Psalm 51 over and over.

Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom. Psalm 51:6

So, thats my introduction and would love to read how everyone else is handling this quarantine. Have a blessed evening!