What's that you say? You're afraid to cold approach? You're afraid to escalate? You shouldn't be, and here is why.

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December 16, 2016
TL/DR: This post is two fold. Firstly, I want to talk about why you are afraid. Secondly, I want to tell you something that will make you want to go out and cold approach today.
Actually, this post is three fold. For those of you that caught on, I have unnecessarily lead you down a rabbit hole. This is sort of a click bait post. Even my TL/DR was the start of good advertising. Did you feel yourself get excited? Well, that's because I am using a well known weakness to draw you in. I know that men are scared to approach random hot women. And, this is actually to prove the extra point I added on.
I know you're afraid because society has made it this way. It's part of your blue pill conditioning. You fear entering into an unknown social setting. Society has created a stigma. And my ability to hop on that bandwagon and exploit your weakness is in ecssense exactly what makes it worse. I have seen so many webpages, forums, and more do just that.
But, there shouldn't be a stigma associated with it, this is point 1/3. And you shouldn't be reading anything else on the subject. You ready for your answer? Okay... here it is: tomorrow morning, you will find what you consider a 7/10 or better, you will not hamster it up, you will not question whether she is a 7, you will know. You will slowly walk up right when you see her, introduce yourself with your first name, and smile. You will then proceed to pay her a specific compliment. Do not say she is pretty, pay her a compliment on something in particular. Her hair, her boots, it doesn't fucking matter... what matters is that it is particular. You will not make a big fucking deal about it, because it is not a big fucking deal. You will then lose yourself in the conversation, all your worries will become non existent and you will talk to her like you've known her forever. You will tell her that you have somewhere to be but it was nice chatting and you will close her and get her fucking number by also saying, "you seem fun, let's get a drink." Or a cup of coffee or whatever the fuck you want to drink.
You will do this tomorrow and you won't make a big deal out of it before hand. Because it's good for you to challenge yourself in this way. And if you fail, and you stumble your way through the convo, then you do... and you'll get that shit out of your system. Because you will spend way too long not doing this if you don't do this tomorrow.
There are no exceptions to this. There isn't, "I just need to lift a little more." No! No! No! You go out and do this now because while you build your muscle you're also going to build your social skills. You have only one response to memorize: if she says she has a boyfriend, you respond, "are you allowed to talk to guys without his permission?" She will go on the defense. Don't move a muscle just let her react and qualify herself.
If your mind spits out excuses a minute before hand, let it. Just remember you've got to get this over with. And you're going to do it without talking about your job, or the weather, or how Donald Trump is president. You're going to talk to her like you have nothing to lose, because you don't, this is point 2/3.
And finally, point 3/3, something to make you want to go approach a woman. I appreciate science, I really do. A recent study I read by a woman named Meridith Chivers, included participants shoving a camera in their vagina that measured blood flow.
During the study, women became arroused by the thought of sex with a partner or with a friend... but nothing made their holes engorge with blood more than sex with a complete stranger. Moral of the story, nothing gets a girl wetter than pure excitement and the unknown. Be that excitement and go close a girl tomorrow morning, she's out there dying to have her vagina tell her what her mind cannot process.

Post Information
Title What's that you say? You're afraid to cold approach? You're afraid to escalate? You shouldn't be, and here is why.
Upvotes 799
Comments 85
Date 16 December 2016 12:49 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/65380
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/5ilbgf/whats_that_you_say_youre_afraid_to_cold_approach/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
hamsterliftthe red pillthe blue pillclose

[–]TryHardDaily133 points134 points  (0 children) | Copy

One of the best posts I have read on this subreddit in a long time. A+ on the marketing tactics.

[–]Ozymanberg52 points53 points  (6 children) | Copy

Have been approaching more women lately. They've gotten nowhere, to be honest, but it's something that gets easier as you do it more. I want to get to the point where I'm relaxed and can just let go. This definitely pumped me up more. Nice post!

[–]TheInkerman26 points27 points  (3 children) | Copy

They've gotten nowhere, to be honest, but it's something that gets easier as you do it more.

Like many other things, it's basically like a muscle. Initially you're weak as shit and can't lift anything heavy (terrified of approaching), but the more you lift the stronger you get (approaching, saying hi, flirting, getting a number), and with enough time and practice you're fucking huge (kiss closing HB9s).

Having said all of that, I can't approach for shit still, something I am probably going to have to start working on soon.

[–]1TheProphetPhysiquiel19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy

probably going to have to start working on soon

Take your own advice mate. Build the muscle.

[–]king_of_red_alphas6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

No you don't "get better until you're kiss closing 9's" Jesus fucking Christ.

When will people stop selling this pipe dream?

Approaching is not like a "muscle"that gets stronger and better the more you do it. What works on one girl in one situation isn't necessarily going to work on another girl in another situation.

This needs to be measured in terms of how nervous you are, how much the rejection stings, etc. In other words, how outcome independent you can truly be.

Trying to climb some ladder to getting numbers from models is exactly how you will fail.

Trying to overcome your OWN individual fears, weak points and hang ups is the point.

Honestly, there is only one part of game in which there is a linear correlation between effort and SMV / Success - LIFTING.

Everything else is far more nuanced and unpredictable.

[–]TheInkerman8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

This needs to be measured in terms of how nervous you are, how much the rejection stings, etc. In other words, how outcome independent you can truly be.

Yeah. And you only get better at that by practice. Endless navel gazing about your own psyche isn't going to matter for shit if you aren't out there approaching.

A guy who has approached 50 girls and never even considered his own 'outcome independence' is far better than a guy who had never approached but repeats some 'outcome independence' mantra in his head.

You get better at what you practice. This is not fucking rocket science.

Honestly, there is only one part of game in which there is a linear correlation between effort and SMV / Success - LIFTING.

I'm not suggesting a linear correlation. I am simply suggesting a positive correlation.

[–]Luckyluke231 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

getting " nowhere" is like the first 2 years of game man. I'm still int hat stage and I've been going it for WAY LONGER than 2 years.

point is, you just have to keep at it and one day things will fall into place because you now FULLY understand all the concepts.

last night I got one of the greatest compliments I have received and I didn't even know it it was true until she said it AND THE COMPLIMENT REFERRED TO US MEETING 3 YEARS AGO.

I am " so money" i didn't even know it.

the thing is man, you will always be learning on this journey. it WILL happen one day, but that doesn't mean it's the first day. could be YEARS from now. I'm 27 in a month and I think by age 35 I'm gunna be a BOSS

( bit of a rant but yeah)

[–]theONE843663[🍰] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sometimes, we're so used to crutches that we subconsciously limit ourselves in certain situations. It could be worthwhile to add a crutch on purpose to get the crutch thing over with. I know this isn't a long term strategy and it shouldn't be; but might wanna try popping some 5Htp. Like 400-500mgs an hour before. Feel the relaxation and muddling of your anxieties. Feel chill, act chill, and try to go for a kiss close. Good luck bruh!

[–]blarggggggggggg33 points34 points  (4 children) | Copy

I've been spending time with one of the sexiest women in my history lately.

She told me the main reason she went out with me, other than just liking my general vibe, is that I very directly told her to give me her number so we could go out.

She has also done some shit testing based around her insecurity that I could easily go out and 'easily pull other women' as she said.

[–]Frenetic_Zetetic21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy

Now that I think back, every single time I've "had the balls" to just give a girl my number, it's worked out very well. There's definite presence and impression made when you just go for it. One of the girls even mentioned repeatedly how she knows I could pull other girls quickly if I wanted.

[–]Sir_rm3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

What you answered to the shit test? Ignored? Or said something like: yeah, I can and following to other subjects

[–]blarggggggggggg4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

One time I said something about how I'm a humble guy so I don't like to brag about it. Another I think I just smiled and laughed.

I'm trying to learn to not try and follow to other subject, just own it or bat it away. If she moves to another subject, I'm thinking it's a good sign it's just shit test/banter and she is a normal woman. If she doesn't move to another subject and continues to harp over and over on the same thing, it's a sign she may have deeper problems (like control issues or severe emotional manipulation behavior) and I should reduce involvement. This is just my own pet theory.

[–]Sir_rm0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for the share, my comment had the goal of trying to know your "pet theory" :D

[–]Frenetic_Zetetic20 points21 points  (8 children) | Copy

Another technique that builds good character is to chat up 7hb+ cashiers. Make eye contact, initiate conversation (especially if they seem shy/passive/pissy) and frame the mood. You'll get really good at controlling the vibe and steering conversation and flow. You don't even have to make it flirtatious; just be friendly and appear interesting in some manner.

See how the same techniques vary depending on the way you're dressed/groomed that day (this is HUGE IMHO). Find killer combinations that produce fantastic results for you. Let your mind relax and don't over think it; you're done bagging and paying in like, less than 3 minutes. Use it to practice. I've tested and tempered so much good shit from this sub using just such an exercise.

[–]jab10233 points4 points  (7 children) | Copy

Have you ever gotten a cashier's number? Let me know how, if so.

[–]askmrcia16 points17 points  (2 children) | Copy

Never a cashier but I have gotten a waitress number. She was beautiful too. We were chatting and as she handed me back my receipt I asked her what were her plans for the weekend (it was Friday). She said nothing but work.

I said cool, we should grab drinks because you seem pretty cool. She said Hmmm idk maybe.

I said "awesome, that sounds like a yes so I will definitely text you. I got your number right? "

She said no and put it on the receipt.

But yes cashiers and waitresses or any girl the works in service is a good idea because they are forced to talk to you. It's their jobs. Just don't be creepy about it and don't give a Damn if they reject you. When they do reject you they will not flip out because customer service.

[–]BackToTheDrawinBoard 3 points3 points [recovered] | Copy

Should grab drinks, is good, but whats with all the guys here having to explicitly justify why... "because you seem pretty cool" just feels a little bit beta

[–]askmrcia1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's just my way of saying things and it works for me. Wouldn't call it beta.

It's a soft compliment to them and it does not come across too thirsty. You don't have to say it.

[–]Frenetic_Zetetic8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

Actually, a few times yes. I've had three different girls write their numbers down without even having to ask (they wrote it on the receipt). I didn't do anything directly; they just responded to me. That was 3 out of like, dozens though.

[–]jab10232 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

That's cool. I was just wondering because I had a really cool cashier on Wednesday and kind of wished I would have gotten her number in some way (or mostly I wished she wasn't working just then.)

I don't usually crush on every cashier that chats, but I actually liked that one.

[–]Frenetic_Zetetic2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's all great practice! Keep at it, brother.

[–]RedVladimir5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I have, once. When she gave me the receipt I said, "Hey, something's missing"

She looked at the receipt, with a slight look of concern thinking she made a mistake. I said, "it's missing your number" and she laughed. Held eye contact while smirking and she wrote the number on the receipt.

Banged a couple of weeks later, was a plate for a few months but she moved away.

[–]recursoinominado14 points15 points  (2 children) | Copy

Really needed this, shit, i have to do it. For years I read about cold approach and for years I was too much of a pussy to do it.

[–]Htowngetdown6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

I still am a pussy about it despite how successful it has been the rare times that I manage to do it. We have nothing to be afraid of and these girls want us to approach them. It'll get easier with practice, like anything else.

[–]TheodoreRPelite21 points22 points  (3 children) | Copy

This post raised my blood pressure until I was able to get through it. I imagine that's how it's going to go tomorrow as well

[–]stawek15 points16 points  (2 children) | Copy

Did it raise blood flow in your dick, too?

[–][deleted] 42 points42 points | Copy

[permanently deleted]

[–]theONE843663[🍰] 28 points29 points  (16 children) | Copy

Why don't you add smell nice to that aswell. Little bit of good cologne goes a long way.

[–]our_guile24 points25 points  (2 children) | Copy

One squirt though, maybe, and I stress maybe, two.

Cologne is meant to be smelled while the girl is close in your personal space, not from several feet away.

[–]theONE843663[🍰] 11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly bro. That sets up the mindset. The splash on your wrist can easily be smell when you tousle her hair. If you got all other aspects proper (dress nice, good hygiene, good body, some form of peacocking like bracelets, earrings, cool watch whatever...), She won't mind when you tousle her hair and compliment on how good it feels. Tousling hair is so underrated when it comes to kino but so powerful if done right.

Personally, I like to use oil based colognes as they last long and isn't overpowering like alcohol based ones.

[–]Burrito_Capital[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Try Solid Cologne if you do not like sprays...

[–]Lo-G12 points13 points  (9 children) | Copy

No, cologne is detrimental. In my experience girls love the natural male smell. They're attracted to our pheromones, not to weird artificial smells.

[–]throwawayurbuns11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

As long as you're not walking round smelling of body odour

[–]lnTheRearWithTheGear9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Higher testosterone seems to register as "He smells good" in my experience.

[–]theONE843663[🍰] 7 points8 points  (4 children) | Copy

Actually, they did a trail on this you can check it out on YouTube where they used real pheromones, artificial pheromones, and aftershave. Girl picked aftershave Everytime. Trust me the pheromones can be smelt on top of cologne it's become more of a subconscious response in humans now. Cologne is anything but detrimental. Just like how we are attracted to chicks hair smell (artificial shampoo), chicks dig cologne aswell. We've evolved to like artificial smell we've been doing this shit from eons past.

[–]shitsintents3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

We've evolved to like artificial smell

This is bullshit. Artificial smells haven't been around that long.

[–]theONE843663[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well...not really physically evolved but our tastes have evolved tho. You could call flowers artificial smell wearing that shit has been around for a while. All I'm saying is humans don't have a sensitive enough nose to consciously detect pheromones...but subconsciously, it's happening and the nose sensors that pick up those pheromones will pick them up regardless of cologne or not. If you lift, eat healthy, maintain hygiene, the good pheromones are three cologne will not take away from that only make it better for you cuz whether you want to accept it or not, a man's scent is a part of his style.

[–]xinihil0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Yes, they have. And modern 'artificial' smells are meant to model pleasant smells anyways. You're just optimizing something that was already happening.

[–]throwawayurbuns0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

As long as you're not walking round smelling of body odour

[–]Frenetic_Zetetic2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

The "light mist and walk through" technique for cologne has never failed me.

[–]theONE843663[🍰] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Oh yeh that one but I used to do that with axe bodyspray from watching those commercials where the guy gets laid from putting that shit on lmao.

[–]Gearski4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

You should be doing this every day, even when you don't go out, to build the habit of being well-groomed/ready.

[–]2virusofthemind20 points21 points  (1 child) | Copy

"are you allowed to talk to guys without his permission?"

Fantastic stuff. One of the best approach reframes I have ever heard!

[–]stawek10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, using their feminism-brainwashed ideas against them.

Of course she is not allowed to flirt with guys, but damn if she admits it!

[–]twy3440 8 points8 points [recovered] | Copy

Question: why not take the pressure off by chatting up the hottest chick you see and not ask for her number? Let's say you see her at your bus stop at a certain time? Just chat and go. You will likely see her again, it increases the mystery without the pressure of asking for the number?

Can I also suggest having one good joke at your disposal? Just one. If you can make a woman laugh...

[–]askmrcia7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's up to you. If you think you will see her again, then yes you can just chat her up and get the number later. I've done the with co workers, girls in social circles and girls in my college classes. And yes it builds rapport and mystery. So that has worked out for me at times. This however can shoot you in the foot because the longer you wait the better opportunity for another guy can come.

But if you don't think you will see her again, like this chick I met at a holiday party last weekend, you go for the number on first approach.

[–]omega_dawg937 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

there's only 2 things you need to do:

  1. introduce yourself and talk to them as if they're you're bratty female cousin or sister.

  2. talk to and treat them like a woman you've fucked 3x already, i.e., "yeah, whatever..." type attitude.

if she doesn't respond, or is a bitch, turn around and walk-off... even if she's still talking.

[–]zezozio9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

she's out there dying to have her vagina tell her what her mind cannot process.


Instant classic! Sooooo deep, so true.

Probably TRP condensed in one sentence.

[–]warmbutteredbagel4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

whoa did you just cite a study from one of my old Profs? +1

[–]johnchapel3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I remember being afraid to approach before I got into this.

Now I'm just lazy and old and I dont wanna put any work in because they're usually a hassle and I'd rather drink and talk with my friends.

Do not become like me. I'm content, but I remember the prospect of having social power being exciting to me fondly, and I wish I still got excited about it.

[–]Nergaal2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Everybody should read this in relationship to the last idea:


[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Good post.

It's this simple and it isn't. "Just be yourself" is actually good advice for getting women, but cold approach is a full circle journey and it takes time to get back to where you feel like you are just being normal and getting results.

You need to get to the point where doing an approach like in the in OP doesn't stress you out and feels like asking a stranger for directions or like introducing yourself to somebody at a networking event. To get there you need to approach a lot and you need to break down your approaches daily in a journal. If you are just starting out you will feel stressed out and it will be a big deal and you won't feel like you are acting like yourself.

Keep going and eventually you'll come full circle and you will just get chicks by going up and being normal and "being yourself".

[–]uhhthelonious1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

You must be careful with the phrase "just be yourself" because it is often used to tell people "don't try to be someone you're not" and convince them to give up their fight to kill BP conditioning. This is often used by close friends/family when they subconsciously realize a beta male is being unplugged. It is in fact profitable to experiment with different personality traits when approaching women, especially when unplugging, because we are trying to find the best version of ourselves. Self is fluid and ever-changing thing, so don't be afraid to play around with it!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's why I said it's a circular journey. You start out and try to approach being yourself and get harsh rejections because your body language, eye contact, tonality is shitty and you are nervous and lack experience. Then you try all sorts of gimicky, bolder, and more flirtatious stuff that doesn't feel like you. Then eventually you are able to just walk up without trying too hard and get results.

[–]we_need_more_lumber2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

"I appreciate science, I really do." - how come nobody caught this Trumpism?

[–]EsteraMC 3 points3 points [recovered] | Copy

No, I'm not afraid to approach and escalate. I just get shut down when I do.

[–]NibblyPig3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

And then you feel like crap due to shame, because thousands of years of evolution have made you that way. Someone posting a fantasy story isn't going to magically change that. OP is dumb.

[–]EsteraMC 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

And then you feel like crap due to shame

No, I don't. I don't have shame. It is an illogical emotion that prevents a person from achieving tasks that result in dopamine boosts. It is not shame or anything like that is bothering me. It is just the fact that I get so many rejections, which means lots of time invested and little return. I want to fuck.

[–]185poundsofhatredWIP0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thats because you do not approach with your heart... or like, whatever else would a PUA dude tell you.

[–]iamneptuno0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Easy. You're approaching from a wrong angle. Try 42.5 degrees.

[–]senorbiloba1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Great post. Thanks for the inspiration.

[–]Cantloginhere1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The one that is the most relaxed is the one in control. Always be more calm than them.

[–]Katavasis1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The ideal way to go about it,is to implement this to you daily life.

Don't put a certain time-window,were you have to go out and approach. Be stoic about it.Let it be natural.

If you have to stand in the streets from 5-7 and approach girls,this will put your mind in a negative state that breaks momentum.

[–]dafcio3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you. 1 addition that worked for me: she: i have a boyfriend me: do you want to have a lover? Of course said with solid lover frame. I'm not native English, hope it doesn't sound funny :)

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Should the approach be any different for a woman at work?

Also, just gotta say but this sub is amazing. I subbed to it a couple weeks ago and nothing else like this place has made me more confident in my natural ability.

I haven't tried a cold approach yet but I'm going to nut up and talk to this nurse at my hospital. She's a little out of my league because she's about 3 years older than me, but what do I have to lose?

[–]OprahIsHungry0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

It's been about a month since you posted. Have you talked to her?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I didn't, I was hoping to run into her while I was home from school but I've moved back to school since then.

Me hoping to run into her is probably just a cop out though because I was too chicken to just go find her.

[–]Mckallidon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I always just tell myself they're useless trash I should be polite too. No anxiety.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I've been approaching more women than I ever have. Most of them shut me down, but fuck, I'm not even bitter. If anything I'm much happier for giving it a shot. I'm mad at myself for not having approached women earlier in my life. Thanks Redpill!

[–]SlamSlask0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Why is it that specific compliments works better?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

We're giving this an A plus for marketing? It felt like a sleezy car salesman.

[–]iamneptuno-4 points-3 points  (16 children) | Copy

Cold approach may be a good way to exercise conversational skills, but it's the worst way to get females.

[–]postreformedpua10 points11 points  (14 children) | Copy

What is the best way then? Social circle game? Why don't you write a post about it?

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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