LTR says I treat her like she's replaceable. How to handle this comfort test?

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April 19, 2020
102 upvotes

LTR recently said she doesn't feel like she's emotionally validated and that I treat her like she's replaceable - that whenever there seems to be an issue, I make it clear that I'm okay to leave and do the same thing with somebody else.

She knows a little about my past and how I used to spin several plates, and she considers me very high SMV to the point where she's in my frame. She previously claimed it didn't seem like I missed her when we spent about 1.5 weeks without seeing each other.

How do I respond to her to make her hamster spin but also not shatter her ego? I feel like saying "yeah, to a guy like me everybody's replaceable, but the fact that I'm choosing to spend my time with you should show you I care about you", but unsure if this is too asshole-ish.


Post Information
Title LTR says I treat her like she's replaceable. How to handle this comfort test?
Author Specialcz3
Upvotes 102
Comments 45
Date 19 April 2020 12:19 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/654265
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/g46rgm/ltr_says_i_treat_her_like_shes_replaceable_how_to/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
framehamsterlong term relationshipplatesexual market valuecomfort test
Comments

[–]SplotBoi254 points255 points  (10 children) | Copy

“If you’re a good girl why would I replace you”, or ignore and show her more intimacy. Quit overthinking. If you are too cocky or player, you’ll fail the comfort test

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet61 points62 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is the correct answer.

OP, re-read my Guide to Training Bitches in the side bar.

[–]klasp10022 points23 points  (5 children) | Copy

That's what I say everytime my 2+ years LTR asks that kind of question. You frame that she is replaceable, but that good submissive girls don't get replaced that easily. That will comfort her knowing she has some agency over the success of her relationship with you, and also make her try harder to please you and be your obedient good little girl.

(Edit) : a word

[–]xDuelx5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy

Has she ever asked you about marriage?

[–]klasp10012 points13 points  (3 children) | Copy

Yes, many times. At first I kept saying it will depend on if she can show me that she is worthy and truely willing to follow my lead and submit. After some time however, I changed my mind and told her that it would not happen, but that I would treat her as my wife, and she would treat me as her husband, without me legally sanctionning it. After a lot of crying she accepted and went back to becoming submissive.

[–]helppc4938384 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

Wait how did you actually answer the marriage talk irl. Saying hey babe only if you follow my lead and submit sounds autistic

[–]klasp1000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No, you have to make her feel cared for. The thing I dislike about trp is that we focus so much on pushing aside "provider" behaviour that we alienate ourselves from something that girls actually appreciate a lot. Some provider behaviour, if paired with a "minimum baseline level" of dominance and leadership will actually help your situation more than anything. If you make the girl FEEL that you want to provide care for her, but that you don't want to put it on a legal paper because fuck society's ideals, you should get the outcome you're looking for if you weren't trying too hard to be alpha.

[–]klasp1000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Some of the things we unlearn here, caring for the girl/oneitis/falling in love/etc are things we need to relearn the proper way. We've been programmed since childhood and that needs to be undone. Afterwards, however, you need to reprogram yourself the way that feels right. Your protector and provider instincts are actually a turn-on for girls if you channel them the right way. Females want to feel the security and love of a strong leading male. If you gauge the right amount of love, discipline and sexual tension, the girl should fall into your arms. Do not forget to set strict boundaries, she will resist you at first but then love you for it. If you want a sexy long-lasting LTR, you can have it. The "she's not yours, it's only your turn" moto isn't an absolute truth. Yes, a guy twice as alpha can come along, but unless she's damaged slut raised by a single-mom and dumped by everyone of her boyfriends, the fact that you represent the authority figure that sets harsh boundaries and enforces them will create an aura of security that will make her highly insecure to break, even if the other is MegaChad or Mandingo.

[–]_DonDraper_7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

The only correct answer. Sounds like you're too cocky, but now that you know how much she cares, you can tone it down a bit. You gotta give her some glimmer of hope, especially since it looks like she did nothing wrong.

[–]thesoloronin[🍰] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

And is there a particular way in the delivery? Should it be Alpha Chad intonation or should it be toned down a little to a more Beta Dad Linda way of delivery?

[–]go_home_cook_rice85 points86 points  (3 children) | Copy

Successful LTRs are a combination of alpha/beta. You have to give some level of comfort or else your LTR will break because she feels like youre a robot.

[–]secureMPC35 points36 points  (2 children) | Copy

Exactly, you just need to give comfort the correct way. Never give flowers if she's mad at you, do it if she has been acting particularly nice. Open up to her in bed after she has fucked you well. It's her actions that are keeping you around and the love is not unconditional.

[–]catsdontsmile16 points17 points  (1 child) | Copy

Exactly, you just need to give comfort the correct way. Never give flowers if she's mad at you, do it if she has been acting particularly nice. Open up to her in bed after she has fucked you well. It's her actions that are keeping you around and the love is not unconditional.

Holy shit, its conditional training, love it

[–]priapula0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

In my experience, thinking about it as conditional training doesnt work as well. When I actively think about punishing bad behavior and rewarding good behavior, things I do are just out of sync and unnatural. Idk how to describe it. Maybe it works for some people, but I adopt a different mindset here.

I just show it whenever I particularly like her. Like if she does something I really like, I will make it clear I like it. She'll realize quickly that she can make me like her more from her actions.

[–]The1ndex31 points32 points  (1 child) | Copy

Her hamster is already spinning. Is she really looking for comfort here, or is this a shit test where she’s trying to get you to explain your actions?

Don’t give comfort by explaining your past actions. If she FEELS that you haven’t missed her in the past, nothing you say today is going to change her feelings. And, saying that you did miss her would go against her feelings and any rationalization she is coming up with.

Give comfort through future actions and commitment - take her out and tell her how happy you are with her.

You’re in a good position.

She should know that she is replaceable, because you are the fun, and you are the prize. If she is to keep you, she must contribute positively to you life.

[–]TheBlockedUser4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

"She should know that she is replaceable..."

Best way to build and maintain dread as well.

[–]marcus8crassus17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

“Cmon baby, you know you pepper jacks number one hoe.”

[–]fannyfire6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

I tell my wife that everybody is replaceable, including myself. It shows that you’re humble and isn’t a direct attack on her.

[–]PiperBigBell29 points30 points  (1 child) | Copy

I tell all my girls the same thing. The same thing you want to say. Its the truth. Your truth as a man is far more important than her feelings. Women need truth from a man to function. But, if you really want to add the comfort, use something like what I say, a slight variation on what I usually say and what you want to say, "Everyone is replaceable, the experiences you have and share with them are not." Works for me if they keep pressing issues.

[–]TominatorXX0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Not bad. It also flips the script: "you're replaceable as am I."

Or, if you don't like this deal, we can break up and you find another guy who will replace me.

[–]MGTOW_BEASTMODE9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

"If you are a good girl I won't replace you"

[–]HurricaneHugues13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just poke her in the stomach and baby her. Don't take it seriously. Everything you're doing right now is what you should he doing. Don't chanhe your behavior.

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Of course I could replace you. Whether I want to or not depends on you."

[–]spedoid6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is honestly right where you want a woman. As long as you aren't being a dick or rude to her just for the sake of it, a little dread is perfectly fine. It's really tough to not be too cold and not be too beta. But if she respects you and likes you a lot it should be fine.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

She is replaceable.

[–]StannisBaratheon941 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don’t change shit. If she sees you as higher value than her then as Patrice O’Neal said, she’ll never leave you when you’re indifferent.

They only leave you when they’ve felt like they have totally cucked you and turned you into a bitch and emasculated you. Not when you’re on top and have the higher power dynamic.

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]cglehosit0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You sound like a bitch yourself

[–]Saladin196 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

LOL - you should tell her she most certainly is replaceable and end the conversation and order some pizza.. Unless you consider yourself super Red pill then maybe just get a vegetarian vegan pizza or a salad

[–]z2a1-90 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lol

[–]_DAMU_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lmao

[–]128bitworm0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"Yes, you are. Never doubt that."

[–]robot3000_010 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

" what are you on about? Ok "

[–]omega050 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I thought this situation was desired among men on here. So what's the problem?

[–]RStonePT-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

That anxiety is what makes you attractive, why are you trying to kill it? Instead, offer a pathway for her to secure your commitment. She's asking for guidance and you shouldn't be looking to deny her that.

Give her a kiss on the forehead and a big hug when she's spinning out of control, then remember to drop the things that she does that you like, she'll get the hint



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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