I am beta as fuck! Just discovered this, this is my awakening.

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April 22, 2020
206 upvotes

So some back story, I’m 32, got two children who I have every other weekend. The mother and I broke up around a year and a half ago. I didn’t give a shit then, and moved on with ease.

Since that time I met the most amazing woman, she had two kids as well, a loving family, and was simply everything I could ask for.

The kids got on great, we fell in love fast, I loved her kids like my own. I thought everything was going great, not so much.

6 weeks ago, she wanted a break. I was so fucking weak, I tried to change her mind over the next few weeks.

It got to the point of being completely blocked. I took this as a sign that it was done. She unblocked me though, and I tried again on the phone. She didn’t have none of it. On that phone call she asked me “how did you like my hair?” which was just weird.

That night I drove to her house as something was up, I could feel it, and sure enough another dudes car was parked on her drive. I couldn’t believe it, she said she wanted a break.

I’m a fucking mess, I know I acted like a fucking weak, pathetic, beta bitch and I need to change my mindset right now.

I would even take her back, that’s how fucked up my mind is atm... no self love, no self respect, but I can’t get this woman out of my head.

It doesn’t help that I’m going through this, missing her kids, can’t see my own kids due to this virus, and stuck inside 24/7.

It’s easy for people to say just get over it etc, but I literally can’t. I need solid advice, on what I need to do.

Last time we spoke she said there is no chance and to move on.

I slept with a woman, 35, four weeks after the breakup, in the moment it was great but just made me feel like shit more tbh.

I’ve got a good job, just about to launch a business, am in good health, and would say I’m probably 7 or 8 out of ten, but I’m just fucking down.

How do I man the fuck up, I realise I can’t continue like this.


Post Information
Title I am beta as fuck! Just discovered this, this is my awakening.
Author cryocai
Upvotes 206
Comments 206
Date 22 April 2020 07:12 AM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/655529
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/g5wkjg/i_am_beta_as_fuck_just_discovered_this_this_is_my/
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Comments

[–]SteveSan82120 points121 points  (25 children) | Copy

Haha asked you about the hair. I fell for something like that before. When a woman ask something like that it means she’s interested in another man which your instinct seemed to have picked up.

Read The Rational Male. It will make you forget about that used up bitch.

Single mothers are damaged goods. There is a reason they are single and a reason you are divorced from one.

Women can never love you the way you want them too. You begging and crying like a bitch only confirmed why she dumped your sissy ass.

If you acted like you didn’t give a fuck she’d probably be eating your load right now. But if you take The Red Pill you wouldn’t even want her used up cunt near you anyways.

A lot of us here have been through similar things, but once you understand female nature and their mating strategy, you will Not obsess over a woman ever again.

[–][deleted] 34 points35 points  (23 children) | Copy

That last paragraph is where I want to be.

Just wish I’d discovered this stuff earlier but it’s never too late!

[–]SteveSan8223 points24 points  (22 children) | Copy

I only discovered this last year and I’m still learning.

Listen to Richard Cooper on YouTube. He explains why you need to stay away from single mothers. He confirmed everything I experienced with my own soon to be ex wife.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (18 children) | Copy

Damn, you married yours?

In all probability, seems I dodged a bullet.

Do you think the same goes for women dating men with kids, even if they only have them some of the time?

[–]SteveSan8211 points12 points  (4 children) | Copy

Yeah I was a stupid blue pilled bitch but my wife was actually really cool until we got married. Her changing so dramatically Is really what had me start searching for information.

[–]Arnoux1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Did she change because you two got married? How?

[–]RanaMahal13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

women get fucking insane after they get married. all effort goes out the window cuz now they’ve got you. don’t do it. ever.

[–]inco20197 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Comfort is the death of attraction.

[–][deleted]  (11 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (8 children) | Copy

I really hope so, I mean I have a good job, nice car, am working out, just need the mindset now

[–]babybopp8 points9 points  (7 children) | Copy

One mistake though you seem to be making. Ducking someone else will not make you instantly alpha. I would rather you take monk mode for a while on this one. Read about it. Find yourself again. Use this time to start lifting reading books and get a hobby. Absolutely do not contact this woman again unless you are recording her or through lawyers. Let any discussion be about the kids only. Then later, start gaming again.

And once again, even if she comes wrapped in a bow, do not ducking take this woman back or fuck her again

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (6 children) | Copy

Amen to that.

Thanks for your help dude, it’s all really helped me to see it for what it is.

She isn’t worth the time.

One question, through all the begging, pleading and trying again talk with her, which I regret so much, how do I get my dignity back, I can’t help look back and cringe at how pathetic I was.

[–]babybopp8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

It happens to the best of us. Now what you need to get back is learning to control frame. Do not break frame at all. It is easy because you learn what your triggers are and work on them. It will be better with time but read about frame control, shit tests and stoicism.

Here is the thing, from now it is all about you, not her. You are not doing this so that some day she can come back and see what she missed out on, you are doing this for you. Don’t even be mad at the other dude, he probably will be over her soon. He doesn’t drive a nice car because he keeps single moms of two for very long. Don’t fall for her coming back and apologizing. She will just need comfort until she can branch swing again. Read the sidebar ten times and still those tenets into your head. Get rid of Facebook. And block and delete her from all your social media. It will help you not obsess about her.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks man you speak wise words.

Writing this post and receiving all this advice has been a turning point for me.

[–]CrazyNicholad1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Frame is hard to regain, sometimes impossible to regain. Going by your description I'm going to go with it being gone. So what you do is this - focus on your frame going forward. There's nothing you can do about the past, it's done. You are going to have to learn to live with the cringe. Simply, no more cringe going forward. Stand up straight, talk clearly, and look people in the eye when you talk to them. Consider your self respect and dignity when you engage with people who may try to test it.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I have no problem with confidence with new plates or people, I just have a lingering thought of what the fuck was I thinking. I couldn’t care what she thinks, I’m never speaking to her again.

It’s just I, myself, knew I stooped to that level, guess I just take it as a learning experience and never repeat

[–]redpill_aware1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

a women in her early 20's isn't thinking about a dude with a good job and stability, she wants a good looking dude to figure shit out with as they party.

How many girls in their 20's do you see walking around with 30+ year old boyfriends beyond the wealthy party goers?.. I am talking about the average 30+ year old with a good sense of stability dating a 20 year old. Why would a girl want to date someone 10 years her senior?.. Would you date a woman 10 years your senior? Let's be real here.

[–]mugatucrazypills-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Only if I have an assistant who can take out the trash in the morning.

[–]SteveSan820 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'd talk to red pilled fathers about that one. I don't know anything about that.

[–]TheBlockedUser0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Just a side note:

That advice about staying away from single mothers is generally for men who are childless themselves. Otherwise, take what you want.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]TheBlockedUser0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

When you have kids, your options decrease, especially with childless women.

But yeah, I agree with everything else.

[–]redpill_aware0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I disagree that if the op acted as if he didn't give a fuck, she would want him. This doesn't make logical sense. If she already has a guy she is cheating or seeing behind his back, she already wants the op out of the picture.

The strategy of not caring is the idea that you don't care because the op has other suiters lined up. Hence why women hate men's ability to sleep around etc. But if she is already seeing someone and not telling the op, it's because she like can't express that she doesn't want anything to do with him. By him not caring actually makes it easier for her. Like all human nature, she will likely wonder about him and check up on him for her own curiosity or she may be so happy with her current dude, she will forget or wish to forget or even joke about this experience.

[–]beingamannotadayjob108 points109 points  (20 children) | Copy

You will feel like shit about the next 8 weeks or even more. Often, insecurities like this lie deep inside of childhood traumas or other bad experiences that trigger when you are experiencing something new.

Don’t be her bitch, right now, you are her bitch that does whatever she wants you to.

Ground yourself by finding your identity, your true self. By this, no girl will ever push you over.

I would also read the book “No More Mr. Nice Guy”.

I don’t say that you should spin plates, but it may help.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (16 children) | Copy

It’s weird yesterday I felt fine, today I’m worse than I ever have been, literally dreamt about her coming round apologising etc!

I am in dating websites, but just not got the energy for it.

Thanks for the help.

[–]TheBlockedUser27 points28 points  (4 children) | Copy

Stop trying to force date and learn to love yourself first. That is the core of what red pill is - loving who YOU are.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

I’ve just got another date for next Monday, she invited me round her house for drinks and a takeaway. I’m in two minds whether to go or not.

After the last one night thing I felt like shit!

[–]TheBlockedUser19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy

Do whatever the fuck YOU want to do. If you felt like shit after the ONS, you have your answer.

Stop seeking validation through pussy.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

[deleted]

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is a good point, I’m going to consider it

[–]janaheyiloveyou10 points11 points  (3 children) | Copy

It takes alot of effort.. But its worth it in the end.. When you start working out and looking good.. It all makes you feel good on the inside... I only so a small 30 min pushups pullups daily... Just a bit of exercise.. Not as hard as gym routines.. And after 6 months I'm starting to look good and feel good.. Get in the right mindset and stop giving a fuck about women.. Have guy friends

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ye I’m working out, managed to buy myself some dumb bells.

[–]enjoiiiiii1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Man do a proper gym routine.

[–]thechaosz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Does it though? To forget about a bitch that completely betrayed you, went behind your back and found someone else before breaking it off?

Shits ez for me.

[–]TheDeadlyZebra2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You sound like me after my last divorce.

Some women were interested, but I just didn't have the energy or optimism to pursue them. It felt like everything was doomed from the start, so why bother.

It took a long ass time, but after moving twice I finally got out of the funk. I hope your problems resolve sooner. I'll always remember 2019 as the worst and hardest year of my life

But now it's 2020 and I couldn't be happier. Shit gets better (when you make it better I guess).

[–]guifawkes5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

Im not a huge advocate for spinning plates...especially if you're looking for a serious ltr. Spinning plates to keep yourself distracted and busy so that you don't care TOO much is crutch. It may work temporarily, but if you're struggling with abandonment issues that bring you anxiety, spinning plates may exacerbate that anxiety.

You have fears like everyone else, you may have worn that fear (of her leaving) on your sleeve, and so she did.

She hurt you, but don't let your pain be useless or in vain. Getting schooled sucks but if you learn from it, you'll eventually look back and be grateful for the lessons you learned and what you learned about your own strength in navigating through them.

I'm sorry you're going through it brother, but in this moment, you have to account for what you have to be grateful for. Those things are yours to be grateful for, no significant other can take that gratitude away.

[–]MonxtahDramux1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I disagree with your idea of plate-spinning. It is very different from cheating if done right.

It saves you from the oneitis hell which leads to reacting > which leads you to lose your frame > which leads you to lose respect > which makes you needy > which makes you beta > which brings you back here to ask similar questions like OP

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

My life story.

[–]thechaosz-4 points-3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think you're in the wrong sub

[–]bush28740 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Time for monk mode

[–]shyrix-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

I recently went thru something like this. Check your dms

[–]thechaosz2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

If she called him and said I want to marry, he would.

OP is hopeless right now until he gets to the real anger phase

[–]MonxtahDramux3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I came here to recommend "No More Mr. Nice Guy"!

[–]SilentSamNL1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

What this man is saying, focus on yourself and your kids for a while. Get yourself in check, go on with that business of yours. You have obligations to no one.

[–]biggerobrothero30 points31 points  (4 children) | Copy

No pedestals. Now that she's unblocked you, my advice is block her. Cut and run. And it's for you, not her.

Look at it this way, she's done with you.

Any move you make to get her back will just devalue you further in her eyes.

So you block her and one of two things happens:

(1) She's done with you. So the same outcome.

(2) She starts to get in her head about it, as you are now... "Is there something wrong with me", "Was I too hard on him", "Does he think something bad about me" ?

Who knows what runs through her mind, and who cares?

Now, what do you do in the off chance she comes back?

The answer: nothing. Say "bye-bye."

Now you have the pleasure of last refusal.

Now go and get a better one and use this refusal as a nice ego boost.

[–]kode202 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Couldn’t agree more

[–]babybopp2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Increasingly more men are coming to TRP AFTER women AWALT them. They come crying when they are hurt but surprisingly wont proactively follow the teaching. Then find them on relationship advice because they are desperate and weak. This should be a once in a lifetime decision..

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That won’t be me. I’m here to stay bud

[–]Oh_Debussy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Best response

[–]hoopingblob27 points28 points  (5 children) | Copy

You talk too much. Calm down, breathe and let those feelings get to you. If you can endure it you will get stronger if not you're destruction will mean its end.

Just look at an empty wall and let those emotions through instead of acting on them

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy

I’ve been told that before. I should take note.

I’ve acted on impulse so much, thinking I had to do something, to try and save it.

Should have just walked away

[–]hoopingblob6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Should've, could've, would've. Doesn't matter.

Do what I told you right now!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks man.

[–]_nein_danke1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I went through a break up that destroyed me but it created something far far better in the end and eventually became THE turning point in my life, it lead me to TRP too! I know it’s not cool to mention him round these parts but Jordan Peterson is good on this subject of betrayal and the way it makes you feel and the way it shifts you into somewhere totally different. Try and find it if you can, it helped me (but his teachings are definitely not all Red Pill so stick to that part for now).

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I’ll definitely take a look, with this quarantine I have all the time in the world to learn, better myself, and workout!

[–]svenfromaccounting27 points28 points  (2 children) | Copy

Buddy, the second you wrote something in the lines of "she has x kids who I loved like my own" you make yourself into a cuck. Maybe look into how the cuckoo bird leaves it's kids in the nests of stupid birds.

It's good that you finally became aware. Never contact her again. Never.

Stop being a cuck.

Good luck

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

Oh I don’t plan to.

I’m going to learn this stuff down to a tee.

[–]svenfromaccounting4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

There's really nothing to learn my man. They need you more than you need them. Act that way.

[–]CrazyNicholad16 points17 points  (12 children) | Copy

Watch as much Rollo Tomassi on YouTube as you can. He's helped me out to keep or regain my frame when it's lost or in danger of being lost. I don't agree with everything that he says but damn near. The push/pull of keeping/losing frame is a constantly evolving game amongst men and women and it is an instinct for them, we have to adapt. We are now in the age of Advanced Modern Warfare. What mr_Tobbor said is correct, every time you give a woman a piece of you she takes it with her. That is unless you are a sociopath. Your best bet is to follow the RP principles as close as you can. Most would say read the sidebar but I find watching Rollo Tomassi's videos to be better. There was a good post about oneitis today that I thought, regardless of what others commented on it, was spot on. If you're going to solicit advice on asktrp be sure you can separate the wheat from the chaff. There are a lot of dudes here that troll for the simple pleasure of trying to humblebrag about how Alpha they are and to call other dudes cucks and simps given the most minute of opportunity. Do not engage them. Real Alphas don't spend their free time trolling others on social media for ego validation. Best of luck. Most of us have been there. Do what you have to do. Fuck whores, drink, fight, whatever. Get your testosterone checked. Stay off SSRI's unless absolutely necessary. Lift. Get this chick out of your head and build some iron self-respect from there.

[–]mejakejohnson8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Real alphas don't spend their free time trolling others for validation. Wow. 💯

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (6 children) | Copy

Never heard of Rollo, I’m definitely going to watch it.

I don’t plan on using ssri’s, working out should solve that!

[–]CrazyNicholad6 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy

He's the author of The Ration Male that will be recommended to you time and time again. It really is TRP Bible. I just like his podcast better because I can multitask and split RP topics up more efficiently. Disclaimer - He has neither the physical presence nor voice of what you characterize as an Alpha but...man. Some call him a cult leader, he has that strong a message and following.

[–]Frebaz1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

I am one of those. I recommend u/cryocai to read the The Rationale Male. Start there, nowhere else. Actually after reading this comment, go buy the book! Can't read? Get it on audible. For me the podcasts/youtube are like helpers, boosters. But the book is a work of art where Rolo put inside tons of hours and experiences.

[–]mugatucrazypills1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

The "Rational Male"/Tommassi is better than "No More Mr Nice Guy"/Glover NMMNG is actually fatally cucked if you read the whole book.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]mugatucrazypills0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

NMNG builds reader credibility by doing a rundown on the Rational Males issues, explains how modern marriage/society is utterly rigged, evolutionary bio/psychology defines her behavior, THen He just falls to well "do marriage anyways" because Godliness and Magic Jesus will fix it everything automagically when you enter NoFAP, NoPorn, SuperMonk mode and do a takeaway on the Unworthy Basic Bitch you ignored all reason and probability and married attached to anyways. Glovers' wishful/magical thinking is the opposite of being a rational male and he sprinkles enough truth in there that you can't see that his "prescription" is basically to double down on hope, hamstering and simping. I can see how it appeals to a demographic of readers(if I follow these difficult rules it will fix the unfixable) but it's damanging bullshit. If you're wondering about setting limits, read Rational Male and then Keeping your NUTS or such. (Non-Negotiable Unalterable Terms).

[–]disgruntledearthling3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Find him at therationmale dot com. Do NOT read current articles but instead study the "Best Of" years 1-3. That's all you need to know

[–]lunaluis0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Just curious, why do you recommend to stay away from SSRI’s?

I assume it’s like a cheat code to tricking your brain to be happy rather than doing the hard work required to be happy but then again I’ve never taken SSRI’s.

[–]CrazyNicholad0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Clinically proven to savagely drop men's testosterone levels in just about all cases.
Shortcuts are alright some times, especially when a medical condition is involved. No, it's simply the problem with SSRIs and testosterone.

[–]lunaluis0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Oh thanks for the info, I never knew that! I’ll have to read the research.

Does it happen just about with any SSRI?

[–]CrazyNicholad1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, as far as I understand. Lexapro, Prozac, all of them. Bad news for dudes. Clinical and anecdotal information all over the place.

[–]Naked-fox13 points14 points  (2 children) | Copy

This is the best thing that has ever happened to you. It’s because of this painful breakup you are now becoming aware of the red pill. You are about to improve so much, become so much more successful with woman and finances and you’re about to become a lot happier.

Soon you will laugh about this situation and be glad it happened. Because as much as it feels like the end , it’s really the start of something beautiful.

You’ll be okay bruv I’m happy for you

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Thanks man I really appreciate it!

Writing this all out, reading the replies, I’ve had people inboxing me giving me advice, this community is awesome.

I really am starting to view this as something great, a new beginning.

[–]volvostupidshit1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You still can't feel and see it today because you are still hurt, but trust me you will consider this as a blessing in the future. You will definitely come out of this stronger as long as you follow the basics of trp.

[–]JaydXThomas12 points13 points  (11 children) | Copy

You cannot contact this woman. You alsolutely cannot. If she contacts you, do not take her back. I would even tell you not to sleep with her because of how much of an attachment you have built. Block, ignore and pretend she doesn't exist. Against every fibre of your being, you need to do this.

She can go fuck herself.

Do you really want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you? Do you really want to be her bitch? She will walk all over you again. She has no respect for you. Pick yourself up and build your self worth. Focus on anything else but her. The only things that will feel right doing is doing the things that bring you pleasure. Engulf yourself in your hobbies. I know the pandemic makes it more difficult, but do something in the house that makes 5 hours feel like 1.

This woman used you. She cheated on you and she kept you on a fucking line in case the dude she's already fucking with dumps her. I've been through this. Don't move on to attract her, do it to make yourself fucking better.

You do not need to prove your worth to anybody. You do well for yourself, you're in your prime. Women need to prove themselves to you.

She doesn't care about you so she has no place in your life.

Something similar happened to me 1.5 years ago. I was the biggest simp, and I was fucking in love. My behavior turned my then girlfriend off so much that she was forced to dump me. I decided then, that very day, that I will change forever. I never contacted her again. Not once. 1.5 years later. She hasn't contacted me either but I don't care. I did this for myself - it saved me from losing the little dignity I had. I'm happy now, and I know that that beta shit will never happen to me again.

Keep strong. You can do this.

[–]mugatucrazypills2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

If she want to branch swing that's one thing, but .... Dude put his whole life out there with his kids and hers thinking this is the "one", and he got back "How's my hair for chad to cum on ?", think about the degree of psychopathy on her part behind that. Assuming we're getting any of the real story.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Oh it’s all true.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy

Those are some hard truths to hear.

I won’t contact her again. Ever.

She is used goods. Sure the feels are still there but the replies on this thread are making me see things in a different light.

It is her loss, this guy who has no kids is going to pump and dump as soon as it’s serious, and if not he’s a simp for not doing so.

Onwards and upwards for me.

[–]OracleofFl6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

One of the key rp truths is: "you can't negotiate attraction"

You can't convince her or any chick to be attracted to you because the very act of trying to convince them to "try it again" is incredibly unattractive to them. They are attracted to what they can't have or to what other women want (think about this. the entire fashion and consumer products industry is based on this.) Being a door mat is 180 degrees opposite to this.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

If only I realised this before. I literally cringe at how I acted and some of the messages I sent.

Lessons are learnt the hard way though I guess

[–]OracleofFl3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yes. Now get your career shit together, get yourself as physically attractive as possible through fitness, haircut, clothes, whatever and when she finds out you are sought after by other women, It will make her crazy with her thinking about what she missed out on.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly and I’ll be in a better place to tell her to fuck off!

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

[deleted]

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I like this train of thought. Thanks man

[–]mugatucrazypills-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is the better course if you don't want to end up eating strange mens jizz out of her pussy.

[–]JaydXThomas3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Also, go follow 'Alpha Male Strategies' on YouTube and binge on his content. It might just be what you need to hear right now. Find what's relevant to you and listen to what he has to say.

[–]Lostfate097 points8 points  (4 children) | Copy

Bro, You instantly go Ghost and never contact a woman again as soon as she breaks up with you or asks for space. Always

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

100%.

I’ve only had two relationships, the mother of my kids, and I didn’t give a shit when we split after 10 years, and this last one so I didn’t really have a clue how to handle this shit.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

That’s your problem. With enough experience you’d know this single mother you fell for was likely trash and lower RMV. When I never had relationships I fell in love with any woman who was nice to me - when you obtain true abundance your mentality and expectations flip drastically

Also consider yourself in a good space. A lot of people rush to marriage just to have kids and because they are scared of being alone. You have kids from your previous marriage, now you can take your time dating and finding people who actually bring value to your life

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I understand exactly what you are saying. I’m all for self improvement. I’m on lockdown so I’ve got a lot of time to read, I plan to meditate for 30 mins twice daily. I bought a road bike, I’ve got weights, I’m still able to work from home, I’m just starting a business going live in less than 7 days.

It really is her loss. I recognise where I went wrong, and acted beta as fuck during and after the relationship.

This community is awesome, just this single post has really helped massively.

I appreciate it man.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Glad you have the right mindset - that’s 90% of the battle

[–]inco20194 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Focus on building and scaling your business. Practice stoicism. And realize everything and everyone in life is temporary except family and your children. Also block her yourself from all social media. In future don't chase someone who initiates a break, it signals weakness and highlights scarcity mindset.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’ve learnt my lesson.

Break means I want to fuck other dudes.

Can’t wait for karma to strike and ill be long gone, I already am after reading all these replies.

Time to recognise my worth, I got this. I got great friends, great family, a good job, a business I’m starting, getting numbers, and going to get ripped!

[–]dunyakuboku6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

time to wake up. since you are here, now there's a chance for your survival. listen and follow the instructions I tell you and you will be able to come over this.

  1. She cheated on you, never take her back. doesn't matter what had happened between you previously, in terms of love, relationship and etc.
  2. Never-ever date a single mom. They are desperate and seeking a provider. You happily accepted this role, and even treated her kids like you. What she did? she fucked you, by telling you she needs a break. she was sure that once she has her fun with riding chads and tyrones you would take her back happily. change your attitude, act as a man. immediately stop contacting her, don't block her, it's a sign of weakness. however if she contacts you, pump her and then dump her like a bitch. after fucking her, tell her that go and enjoy your break we are done.
  3. if you are 7 or 8, you can land any girl. you are approaching your sexual prime, as your sexual market value is going to increase, while she's a used and a damaged good, and her expiration date has past. so remove the scarcity mentality from your head.
  4. that guy after fucking her, will get rid off her. normal men would never take care of single moms.
  5. she wasn't yours, it was your turn. break-ups hurt, but go to gym, take your kids to park and continue fucking other girls.
  6. under no circumstances take her back, she spit on the right side of your face, by taking her back you allow her to do it to the left side of your face.
  7. if you don't follow what I said to you. it means you aren't a man, and go to gay clubs, to get yourself pounded. Period

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Number 6 is a great analogy!

This is my turning point.

My plans are this:

Concentrate on my business and my day job

Workout like fuck!

Meditate

Learn trp

Read

Date

Time to man the fuck up

[–]dunyakuboku1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

killing the inner beta is a long process. however, the key takeover from your lesson is as much as hard it sounds, remove any romantic and sentimental BS from your mind. surely, you still want her back, because your emotions don't enable your mind to critically evaluate the situation. therefore, you made the right decision to ask for advices here. that said, your journey starts not with what you were told here, but how are you going to implement it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

So true

[–]RedPillAlphaBigCock2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Look up entrepreneurs in cars on YouTube

When dating a single mother you are lower than the dog

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Shit.

Where can I find some stuff on why not to get with a single mother

[–]RedPillAlphaBigCock2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

well, you don't need to find any stuff - you have experience now :)

You can read the sidebar or you can get punched in the mouth by life

Both bring you to the truth,

Good luck

[–]tyrantgrey3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Wow. She made herself pretty for him and asked you how you like her hair. Hahaha. What a cold bitch.

Honestly, its not easy to open your eyes when you have had them closed all this time.

I’m gonna tell you, to face you anxieties willingly. And don’t do what you are tempted to do. You’ll be tempted to, call her or contact her, whatever.

You’ll know that this is the wrong move. Listen to your instincts and not to your dick. You already have this in the oven. The key is to fuck off and not bother it while it’s cooking.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

What do you mean I have it in the oven?

I am 100% not contacting her. To be honest I’ve done stretches of 5 days before but then I have a drink and end up texting.

So for me no more drinking, which is also a plus!

[–]tyrantgrey1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I mean, if you don’t willingly fuck yourself over, you won’t come out of this worse than when you went in, at the least that is.

Life is pretty simple. Pretty much run on auto pilot. You just need to apply your effort to a few specific places.

[–]SpiderAlpha334 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Start focusing on yourself by building a better physique, improving finances, developing skills and learning a new language. As you transform into a higher value male, your SMV will increase. Naturally, you will find women you value you for who you are. If you still like the same woman, you will have a better chance. Women just want to feel safe, protected, loved, cared and like the bling. Some are shallow, some true, you have to vet them properly to know how many want you just for the goodies vs how many want you for you. Always be a self-made man and the women will be a by-product of your positive actions in life.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I guess it’s all about building a life first without a woman in it. That way they only add to an already awesome life. When I met her I had all that, but slowly I gave it all up, so got to rebuild now.

[–]2319Skew4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Rome wasn't built in a day. You can't detox years of bad habits and perspectives.

Keep reading the side bar. Let yourself feel things and don't act on feelings. When you are in a moment of clarity (not angry or sad) write a list of reasons from what you learned about hypergamy and your experiences.

When you remember how she looked when she was laughing or are turned on when you think about that one time you were fucking and she said you were the best or when you remembered how her kids gave you a card... Read that list.

Pick up lifting or some form of exercise. If you have the energy to do something like pick up the phone and look at text messages then you're not working out hard enough.

If you have the time to reflect or day dream about her then you're not busy enough.

As much as you want to make excuses for her or like the idea of her coming back to you, you need to stop. That is your beta fetish from your ego. You weren't special and if you were to take her back when she's done locking Chad's asshole and letting him tape it for his friends... Well you are no man for your children to ever look up to.

Your ego is bruised. Get over it.

For context I was married. So when I say shit it's not from trying to recite blind dogma but from experience. I have seen my marriage of 11 years (her first kiss, sex partner, boyfriend, husband, gave her a kid etc) erode and all my worse traits embellished and my good traits demonized so that her hamster can rationalize her light switch.

I have also fucked so, so, many single moms who are showing me beta husbands or boyfriends that are trying to make it work for (family, kids, history, love, whatever).

The first time I heard her tell me how much of a real man I was after I fucked her brains out in the kitchen next to some art project her kid made with her father. The father was dumped and he called her back trying to "make it work" she listened, said maybe (wasn't really paying attention) then came back, sucked my dick and we did rough anal.

She told me that I shouldn't worry about it. I was more of a man then he was. He was pathetic and gave me some bs reasons why it's ok that she's pushing him out. My eyes were opened when I saw a trend of with single moms doing this. After I ghosted her, I heard from a friend that she whored around for almost a year before she settled into a relationship.

Anyway, I am ranting. I just know that you're the blue guy that is on the phone crying about the kids while some dude is making her eat his ass.

I'll stop here. I'll recommend "rational male" on audible.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This has opened my eyes. How the fuck do I get my dignity back, just forget the messages and phonecalls and carry on. It was so fucking cringe I can’t believe I acted like that

[–]boy_named_su2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

  1. check out askMRP as well (married red pill)
  2. work on your fashion, malefasionadvice wiki Basic Bastard wardrobe
  3. lift
  4. learn to fight (you'll have to stick w youtube boxing during COVID)
  5. read the whole Rational Male series
  6. read Game by Roosh
  7. read Models by Manson
  8. read the Red Pill sidebar

[–]when_its_too_late5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Take a break from women mate. You seem to have tried to squeeze in to much to fast in that year and a half.

Take a break, relax, meditate, read, learn, observe, take note of your surroundings, and adjust accordingly.

[–]PachoHerrera01 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Congratulations, the best thing that could ever happen to you has happened. You will feel like shit for quite some time. You will use that time to build yourself. Then you will feel less shit. Then not at all. And by the time that comes, you will be a fucking badass. I envy you.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks dude.

I’m 100% committed!

[–]Besthater1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Start fixing your own shit. Make a list and start crossing shit off. Start with easy things. Clean your bathroom. Plan your finances. Build it up. Next meditate. Do it for as long as you can handle. But start small. 5 mins. Sit still. Think about your breathing here and now. When your mind wanders, push that thought away and get back to breathing. Here. Now. Make it a routine. Take a short break from others. Now is the perfect time. Focus on your ducks. Get them all in a row.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

No fucking way youre a 7 or 8. from this post id say youre a 4 or 5. This is some blue pill shit that made me cringe to read. Get a fucking mission and block that bitch. You went to her fucking house?! Youre a 32 year old man. Start acting like it.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I am at least a 7 in looks. Getting dates is easy, I just fell for the fairytale, and acted like a fucking bitch.

Glad it happened, otherwise I wouldn’t be here!

[–]brownsugar9951 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

You might not believe this now, but her leaving was the best thing that could have ever possibly happened to you. You will come back to this thread later and realize how lucky you are right now. Trust me.

Sincerely,
You in 10 years

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks man I sure do hope so

[–]DM021720191 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

First Off, Control Your Emotions. 2nd, Never Talk To Her Ever Again. 3rd, Focus On Your Kids And Not Hers. It’s Tuff, Yes It’s Normal To Feel That Way. Move The Fuck On .... And Smile 🤗

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't waste your time with women who don't reciprocate your feelings. Read "How to be a 3% man" by Corey Wayne.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

[deleted]

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’ve got a date Monday with some woman off of hinge. Single mum, but I know now it’s just another plate

Drinks and a takeaway at hers, that’ll be two on rotation with this virus going on.

[–]H_Crush3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Take it as a learning experience. Pain which will make you grow. You have a fault in you which compounded and caused what it caused. It will always be there until you fix yourself. You have to come on terms with yourself. Learn game and fuck many women if you want. Come to the point where you and your thoughts are #1 and everything else below it with women somewhere in the middle. Never fall for the trap of taking them seriously, even if you marry one and have more kids with her and don't do that unless from position of abundance and her doing everything to win you over, or maybe not win you over but rather completely submit to you and bring value other than sex to your life.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This sub is gold! I’m on a better path now. Cheers for the advice

[–]Domebeers1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

STOP BEING A FUCKING PUSSY

This is so sad. You've already been divorced, which means your game is weak as shit, and then you let some other used up hole with some other guys kids play you? The fuck man.

If you are a '7 or an 8', and bro no offense but the way this comes off you aren't, then start fucking acting like one.

Why are you even talking to girls over the age of 25? Why are you talking to girls with kids? Girls over 25 and girls with kids are not relationship girls, idiot, they are girls you pump n dump. Have some self respect.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I didn’t care about the divorce, I wanted it as well.

I didn’t want to get played, I just fell into her trap.

It’s hard to have self respect before I was even aware of trp.

Never again

[–]ay-fuh-q2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

So some back story, I’m 32, got two children who I have every other weekend. The mother and I broke up around a year and a half ago. I didn’t give a shit then, and moved on with ease.

I know this story.

Since that time I met the most amazing woman, she had two kids as well, a loving family, and was simply everything I could ask for. We were together for a year.

Fairytale. Sorry.

The kids got on great, we fell in love fast, I loved her kids like my own. I thought everything was going great, not so much.

Fairytale cracking. Always does.

6 weeks ago, she wanted a break. I was so fucking weak, I tried to change her mind over the next few weeks. Texting, ringing, etc, I thought it was working as she always listened and gave me maybes and we will see etc.

When a woman asks for a break (space, time, etc.), it always means the same thing. Interest in new guy or already draining his balls.

It got to the point of being completely blocked in the end. I took this as a sign that it was done. She unblocked me though, and I tried again on the phone. She didn’t have none of it. On that phone call she asked me “how did you like my hair?” which was just weird.

Don't even understand that "hair question." Did she forget who she was talking to?

That night I drove to her house as something was up, I could feel it, and sure enough another dudes car was parked on her drive. I couldn’t believe it, she said she wanted a break. I’ve asked her and it was indeed a man and she has been seeing him for a few weeks now.

Stalkerish. I understand it, but still stakerish. Of course there's another dude. Never forget – the moment a woman asks for a break, she's already swallowing some new cum.

This new guy is 30, drives a better car, but he has no kids, I tried telling her he won’t give a fuck about yours, are you fucking stupid but she didn’t give a fuck.

Trying to prove you're the "better man" because he won't give a fuck about her kids is irrelevant. This is all animalistic. She likes to fuck this guy. End of story.

I’m a fucking mess, I know I acted like a fucking weak, pathetic, beta bitch and I need to change my mindset right now.

You did. Many of us have also done this.

I would even take her back, that’s how fucked up my mind is atm... no self love, no self respect, but I can’t get this woman out of my head.

If you take her back, she'll recognize the weakness you have. No self-respect. She can "take a break." Swallow other cum. And you'll be the doormat waiting for her to wipe her feet. You can expect even shittier treatment.

It doesn’t help that I’m going through this, missing her kids, can’t see my own kids due to this virus, and stuck inside 24/7.

Yes. The whole scenario is shitty. I'm sorry.

It’s easy for people to say just get over it etc, but I literally can’t. I need solid advice, on what I need to do.

You have ZERO choice. You need to get over it. Otherwise, you'll be tasting other guy's cum in her kisses while you jump through hoops for shitty sex. She already discarded you. Then she watched you beg and plead like a bitch. She'll never treat you well ever again, not that she did during the last number of months, I'm guessing.

Last time we spoke she said there is no chance and to move on.

She was honest. Accept that. Even if you "negotiated" getting back together, you'll never negotiate the desire she has for the other guy.

I slept with a woman, 35, four weeks after the breakup, in the moment it was great but just made me feel like shit more tbh.

This is your best option. Other women.

I’ve got a good job, just about to launch a business, am in good health, and would say I’m probably 7 or 8 out of ten, but I’m just fucking down.

Focus on you.

How do I man the fuck up, I realise I can’t continue like this. She has me unblocked, and I’m not contacting her, I guess that’s a start.

Realize this. If she comes back to you after all this, it'll be with STDs, no respect, and knowledge that she can discard you anytime to suck some other dick, because you'll "always be there for" her.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Thanks for the breakdown.

The hair question was her asking me how I liked her because the new man was coming round.

In my eyes that’s just fucked up

[–]ay-fuh-q1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She has shown her true self. THIS is her true behavior.

[–]cracksniffer6661 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

You need to get a hold of yourself!

Do these two women seem like the same type? Maybe it's what you're going after, and sadly, that means manipulative women that will cast you aside when they're done.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well baby mama was a scum bag, bad family, untidy, etc...

This last one was the complete opposite.

She didn’t really have a lot going for her, ye she was hot, sex was awesome, but she just had a shitty job.

I earnt 3x more than her, she had no ambition.

[–]cat_magnet1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Never ever LTR a single mother. She either scared off the father because she is such a terrible partner or she choose a deadbeat loser in which case what does she want with you? Single mothers have terrible judgement and it will always bite you in the ass.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

The father left her.

He left a mortgage, and his two kids, and her, to move back in with his mom.

Never found the reason as to why, but I always wondered why would a man do that when he had it all...

[–]mugatucrazypills1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah he did that for no reason. /s

Say you're done with the BS but you're still watching CNN everyday and telling everyone you meet that we have to stop Saddam Hussein and his WMDs before he attacks america again.

[–]zephenrage1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

It took me until I was your age to realize I was Beta AF too despite the obvious signs that I was waving. It’s been two years and I’m so much less Beta now. I’m not quite alpha but I’m so much less beta. My advice to you is to watch Red Pill content a minimum of 3 days a week. Watch stuff everyday if you can. Read books too. Read “the rational male” by Rollo Tomassi. Watch Rollo’s video “The 9 iron Rules of Tomassi” at least 3 or 4 times. Also watch Stefan Molyneaux’s videos on single mothers. There is a wealth of information in those videos. This woman that you’re dwelling on is a single mother. She’s a low-quality woman too. She chose a bad guy to have kids with because he left her to raise those kids alone which means that she has horrible judgment. The other possibility is that she had those kids with a good man but she was so awful that she drove him away. It’s one or the other of those scenarios in her case. And here you are getting ready to accept her and her kids. Which makes you suspect because your resources are finite but as a father you have to generate resources for your kids and yet here you are preparing to limit your own children’s access to your resources and split them with some other man’s kids in order to bang a low quality single mom. And you were also willing to bring such an irresponsible woman into your kid’s life despite the fact that you managed to split with their own mother so effortlessly. I’m not taking shots at you I’m just dropping red pill truth on you. It’s just as uncomfortable for me to say this as it is for you to hear it. Look man, on YouTube Rollo Tomassi, Rich Cooper (Entrepreneurs in Cars), and Stefan Molyneaux are my 3 faves. Watch their videos as regularly as you can. Donovan Sharpe, Coach Greg Adams and Rian Stone are good too. I hope that these resources will help you.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hey man I really appreciate the advice.

I think it was scenario 2, I’ve met the kids dad and he is a good father. I don’t know a man that would give that up to go and live with his mum.

Some more points I’ve reflected on. She had OCD, I don’t know if that means anything, but at the start it literally like she was obsessed with me for a good six months. Likely she is obsessed with this new guy now.

The new guy has no kids, as soon as she wants commitment he will dump, why would a man with no kids stick around when there are thousands of woman who have no kids his age.

I am definite no contact now. My plan is to self improve.

[–]kode201 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Been there bro, just some encouragement. You are a man, if you take care of urself your SMV should continue to increase untill you are 45-50ish. Shes a female, her SMV dicreases every day. If you work hard on urself theres no reason you cant be banging chicks on their twenties for the next 15-25 years. You could even settle with one if you are into that shit. The way i see it you are lucky, you got out of a declining SMV mate, and can trade her for a higher one. Work on your smv and you will be fine. And yeah i also acted almost as beta as you the last break up i had before TRP, you do get better though, on a LTR with a good girl right now, the difference is i understand my own smv and i dont have oneitis anymore. Seriously start lifting, as in serious 6 days a week, also do cardio and do yoga, helps a ton. Definitely get a social hobby, it helps alot with meeting chicks and making good friends Sorry for my bad english, hope you get through this stronger.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’m cycling, doing weights, got the protein and all that. Starting to meditate, and reading/watching everything on trp. I’ll get there. I’m starting to realise it’s her loss and not the other way around.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Glad to have you here. Welcome to the true world!!

[–]beachbbqlover1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I warn against Instrumental Convergence, focusing too much on one thing. TRP should not be a fad diet, but an influence.

I warn against adopting the lingo and walking like a gangster because you've read 25% of the sidebar and think it makes you cool.

The real idea behind TRP is that women's reproductive behavior is to find some proof of value, and the easiest way to succeed with them is to actually have that value without providing currency. Currency being consumable.

Become a better version of you.

[–]Kidterrific0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is the way.

[–]Gordon-G1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

No simp’n from now on. No free likes, validation, attention! They must earn it!

You as the man are the prize!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

True that.

I suspect most men act beta until something like this happens to you and you think wtf is going on and you search for answers.

So glad I found this sub.

[–]urbancore1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Block her immediately. When this dude dumps her, or she finds out he’s a loser, she will die to get you back. Best thing you can do is walk. Never look back. Do NOT ever talk to her again.

Focus on yourself and some fun friends of yours. Spend more time with your kids. Don’t forget to teach them with what you say, and more importantly what you do.

If you build yourself up, the best women will present themselves to YOU. That is abundance. Right now, you don’t deserve it, because you don’t believe in yourself. You don’t think you are the shit, cuz you know you aren’t. Build yourself confidence physically, mentally, financially, and spiritually. This is what attracts great women, and they are happy to be led. Women can’t be expected to do everything, they crave a strong man to drive the ship.

I would advise you to never get into a relationship with a single mom again. You dodged a bullet. There are plenty of great women without kids to date that don’t mind you have kids.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Thanks man

[–]urbancore-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Sure thing. Happy to help. You are best thing you got going. That and your kids. Take care of yourself first, then your kids.

“Put your mask on first” as they say.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Ye man I got this. I swear this post has made me see the truth. I’m worth so much fucking more.

[–]Cvevea31 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Everyones talking about how you should never see the girl again, thats jjst how girls are, how she branch swung, ect, but I want to touch on the kids aspect.

If you really do want to see her kids again and feel like you made a connection, then go get an abundance of women, don't talk to your ex for 3-5 months even if she hits you up first, then hit her up one time after the waiting period. Hopefully some of how beta you are will be forgotten, and you can start semi fresh. Make sure to only plate her this time around, and never ever commit to her because she will break up with you and tell her kids how bad of a person you are.

By the way, if she already has been shit talking you to her kids, it's not worth it to try and see them again. It's over.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

That’s a great mentality, but hopefully the love I have for her kids will fade if I actively see mine more and more.

I have her kid on my psplus account and wondering whether to change the password?

[–]Cvevea31 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yes, change the password. Don't let anyone in her family use you. Ideally, he tells his mom, sho then texts you, and then you don't respond to it. Easy way to show you dgaf anymore

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Password changed. It’s not his fault it’s his mothers. She can explain why he can’t play fortnight.

[–]alfred3111 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

All great advice has been told here, all I can say is your one lucky dude she leaves you before you impregnate her/lock you down and divorced you after a year and get all your money

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I swear she was on about kids the week before all this happened. This is why it took me by surprise.

I’m worth more than one woman who is clearly used goods, the advice on here has made me realise it.

This is a turning point in my life

[–]alfred3110 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Its no suprise when you understand women, hypergamy, branch swinging and all that shit, and dont worry all of us had been in your situation, damn hurts so bad, no pussy first until you are already able to sleep well, build on yourself first.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I already had a ONS. Thing is I don’t want anything from her and have just ignored, and she blew up my phone for me to come around again.

I never even knew this stuff, I think most don’t.

I’m glad I found the sub.

[–]alfred3111 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nobody does, until someone ripped your heart apart

[–]nigelmuk1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don’t date single mothers

[–]CochinoChingon1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Use the anger of betrayal as fuel to workout. Get ripped and show her the body she's never going to have again

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Amen

[–]alphakari1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Get it through your head that not only is she is not salvageable, but that if you remain able to contact her, she will drag you back down to her previous image of you. There is no fixing what you have with this bitch, and she will severely impair your ability to reinvent yourself even if she came back.

Burn the bridge with her, and her children. Remove everything related to her existence. No closure for anyone. That ship sailed when she went to go fuck another guy. They shouldn't be able to contact you without going to your house. If they come to your house, don't answer the door. If they don't leave, call the cops.

She isn't necessary for you to be happy, and if she was, you'd be better off cutting her out for that alone. Being beholden to something as fickle as a woman is pathetic. At least pick Jesus or some shit if you need something like that.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I was pathetic. No more.

[–]mrrooftops1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Hey car crash beta... hopefully this pain will be the final pain that will make you learn to not do this. Maybe give to yourself what you are so desperate to give to others.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Amen brother

[–]CaptainFajita1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Many of us here have been through what you're experiencing, and worse. Take heart; it will get better, but it may be take a while. Like the old saying goes, time heals all wounds. In this case you can speed that up quite a bit by reading and learning the sidebar, and do it more than once.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I plan to.

I’ve realised now this is blessing not a curse.

[–]manfrombelow1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

You messed up the moment you started chasing her and begging for her love. This is a game that you already lost. Save yourself some dignity and move the fuck on.

This is hypergamy at its best. Right now she gives zero fucks about you, and so should you about her.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

I think I lost it when she asked for a break, looking back now and what I know now, she was most likely sucking chads cock already.

Fuck her, I can do better. She a single mum of two, with a shit job.

My SMV is climbing, hers is declining. I’m bettering myself, she just gonna get pumped and dumped.

[–]manfrombelow1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

It didn't matter if she sucked chads cock or not, it didn't matter.

What MATTERED was the fact that, by asking for a fucking break, she no longer wanted you in her fucking life and wanted nothing to do with you anymore. Think about it: Do you really truly want someone who doesn't equally want you???

I know what you're going through because I have been there. We men have all fucking been there. I even know that you're torturing yourself with the "sweet and loving memories" that you had with her. But NONE OF THAT fucking matters right now because she gives no fucks about you right now.

So man the fuck up, stop stalking her, leave her ass alone, and move the fuck on with your life like a true fucking alpha that you were destined to be, motherfucker! You can do it!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Thanks man.

Seriously I want nothing to do with her. Reading all the replies on here has flipped a switch in my brain.

I’m learning red pill, not to bang loads of chicks, but to become a better man, and the chicks are a side product of doing that!

[–]manfrombelow1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Exact-fucking-ly. Your job as a man is not to chase after women but to chase excellence and let women chase you because you are the fucking prize.

I'd recommend these guys on Youtube that helped me tremendously with my life:

1- Coach Red Pill

2- Corey Wayne

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Thanks man I’m adding them now! Glad to be a part of this awesome place!

[–]manfrombelow1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Pain makes men. Remember that. From this lowest point, you'll climb up and become a better and improved version of yourself, not for the sake of chasing women, but for the sake of your own development as a high-valued man. Goodluck!

[–]Distractingyou1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You crave their attention because you have an unfullfilled need probably you feel like your ex fucked you up you will eventually learn how to not give a fuck and you will be free. Try to help someone or people in need that will keep you distracted.

[–]Arnoux1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

You are not beta, you are cuck. Her kids is not yours. Forget them. Focus and support your own kids, even if you can’t meet with them. Play some computer games during pandemic then try to get some other woman when you are allowed to go out. Ofc keep working out.

She is not sucking the other dude’s dick because he have a better car. Forget the car thing.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

I’m new to this what’s a cuck? What’s the difference between that and a beta?

[–]Arnoux2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Cuck is someone who is fine if his girl is getting fucked by some other dude, maybe he is even aroused by this. Also he is raising bastards.

Don't be cuck, your own kids that matters only.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Ok I get it now.

I definitely don’t like the fact she fucking someone else, it fucked me up badly. But ye I shouldn’t have prioritised her kids.

Thanks

[–]brownsugar9950 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Why was this post removed? It was so positive I don't understand.

[–]W4T3V3R0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Man up bitch..

What else you wanna hear?

[–]Fabulous-Craft0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Just keep rereading your post to reaffirm how pathetic you sound.

Put yourself in her shoes. Why would she want a man like you who acts this way? Unfuck yourself and for your own sake, stay away from LTRs for a LONG time.

[–]jackandjill220 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's a pretty humourous story especially her ignoring your warnings. Idk don't have any advice tho

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

[deleted]

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Haha maybe so, but I find it easy to get dates. I’ve got a good career, dress well, am athletic, have hobbies, starting a business, and I’m not ugly by any means.

It’s just keeping them is where I fail

[–]redpill_aware0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

As someone who can very much relate with your post, it's over man. The only thing that will save you from wanting her is the truth.

Women don't treat men they are physically attracted to like this. The hard pill to swallow is that she thinks she can do better than you. It could be the dudes car, maybe his job, etc etc.. But in truth, beyond being completely poor and dependant on her income, it's really because she believes the other dude is better looking than you unless he is incredibly wealthy. That's really all it comes down to. Women will sacrifice a lot for a better looking man.

It's really all it comes down to. It's not so much about your muscles either.. But more about your face, if you are balding, etc etc.. a toned muscular build won't do much. But after the face, it adds to the attraction like an amplifier, but the face is what she is actually rejecting and accepting here. IF it hurts to read this, it's because some part of you is hearing the truth.

Most women are like this. If they can get a better attractive man, they will. Then they will be disgusted by the other unattractive men she knows she can get. This is why women laugh at the idea of dating a less attractive man, because she secretly desires the most attractive man on earth even though she may not be a 10 herself.

The truth is bro, you unfortunately have to charge this to the game of life.. If you were better looking, you'd have more options and most likely not be on this reddit page. So that is your indicator that your results with women are not so much about your character, job, etc etc.. It's really about your looks and that's what needs your attention.. Then when you get attention from women in general, you won't be this weak again.. Because you know the truth.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Ye I guess you're right.

Thing is, my looks didn't really change over the course of the year, and she was all over me up until that break. I don't fucking know... I don't care tbh anymore. I did put on some weight, got a little complacent, but overall I looked after myself.

I do have a good career, I have a degree, athletic, I'm not balding or anything like that, so fuck knows.

I don't find it hard to get woman, I've had a ONS already and another set up for Monday, it's just I fell hard for this woman and the fairytale of it all and was completely blindsided by all of this. Way to emotionally invested.

I am going to use this for me though to change! Good thing is I've lost a shit load of weight since, and I've discovered this way of life now.

[–]L2diy-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Stop masturbating, check out no more mr, nice guy, start doing body weight exercises, cut out the junk, cut out the booze, and focus on your sleep. You’ll be better in no time

[–]thechaosz-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Jesus Christ. You sound like my brother.

I can't help you. We are from different planets. Hopefully someone else can.

[–]0ggles0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

If you are an 8, you should be attracting females constantly without much effort. Work on yourself and your life first. Don't date females past 26, most are damaged goods after that age.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Aren’t woman that age immature though for a 32 year old man? I mean at that age they can just flip, saying that she was 28 so I guess it don’t matter either way...

[–]0ggles0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No, the average age for a women to get marry is 26. So she is looking to settle down at 23 and 24. You need to learn how to vet out females. If you want a stable relationship, just figure out her values and look into her family history.

[–]mr_Tobbor-2 points-1 points  (4 children) | Copy

If you want to be a player you will have a lot of unpleasant reactions of lots of girsl that you bang or don't bang. It would be soul-destroying. So, I advice you don't be a player. Every ex dispatch you and kills a piece of your psyche.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I don’t want to be a player by any means.

Looking back I acted beta in the relationship, at first I was confident and all of that, towards the end I was a fucking simp.

It’s not knowing what the future holds, and the rejection that hurts the most.

[–]mr_Tobbor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Every ex dispatches you and kills a piece of your psyche.

Unfortunately every broken relationship short or long term hurts us. So the best we can do is to find someone compatible with us, get married and have children. So even we divorce we have the kids to add value at our lifes. This is the only advice I can give you. I take it from a wise man who I meet in my life.

[–]janaheyiloveyou0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Do have the player mindset tho.. Its really healthy to have and gets you results... Even if you don't want to fuck bitches.. A player is someone of high value.. Hes a player because he gets girls trying to fuck him all the time.. Its a goal you set up for yourself and aim high for... Definitely something i wish my friends would do..

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I’m going to really invest in this stuff!

Don’t get me wrong I can get girls, that isn’t the issue, it’s once I have them I start fucking up

[–]dzungmac-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm happy for you that you've definitely come to the right place for advice. Second thing I want to point out is how painful this experience is for every unplugged man AT ANY AGES. I guess I'm grateful for discovering TRP at teenage years.

[–]plxxx-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

The best advice I can give you is just stfu. No more calling or contacting the girl. No more whining. Harsh, I know buts it’s the best advice I can give you. Time to lift, change your look up and focus on your mission. It’s good that you found someone to sleep with. You said it felt good in the moment, good continue seeking more of those moments until you can’t even pick the bitch out of a line up.

[–]4thAndLong-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sidebar

[–]MikeAlphaGolf-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Welcome to TRP.

[–]Ghoat1-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

My guess is you have never heard of Patrice O Neil?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

No who is this?

[–]Folknust-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dump her ass.

[–]playball2020-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

focus on your business. don't chase women. women follow success.

[–]cfbovernfl-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

No one cares. Reported for not asking a question, read the sidebar during your ban period. Cheers.



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