tl;dr: How much support, loyalty, understanding do you get from your wives in bad times, when you struggle? Is it a blue pill dream to not see them as just another thing to manage?

Hi,

Im not married, but in an LTR. Im an expat living in a western country , have a local as a stable gf. Im having a bit of a rough patch right now- my close relative is fighting for his life in hospital in my origin country, and I cant be there to support my family cuz of Covid travel/quarantine restrictions.

My girl is working from home. Because of the Covid the only human contact she has is me when im not working ( and im free once in a week and on weekends). She isnt dealing well with this isolation, i normally dont mind dealing with her emotions, dramas, etc. shes a girly girl and a fairly delicate one so its part of the package.

This Saturday I get grim news from home that the health of family member took a dramatic turn and only a miracle can save him, made few calls to my family and everybody is in bad shape. I call my girl to tell her that i received a phone that my kin is dying, and that i wont be a good company for her to stay over, that shes welcome to come over for a bit but nothing more. Her reaction was 'yh, but you kinda a knew that already', she calls me 5 minutes later crying saying that she understands that im dealing with shit, working hard etc but she is lonely, she was looking forward to the weekend, etc etc etc - me, me , me generally.

She came over for dinner, I dealt with drama, she got into chirpy happy mode again and I kicked her out.

Now I know that females and males work differently. That girls struggle with empathy. That for her Im basically what I can provide, what value, which utility I give. She got her fix, she got her rock, some attention and felt better. I got a crying child to deal with when I really didnt need more on my plate. Plus she probably lost some attraction for me seeing that I can actually worry sometimes.

Now Im left a bit in a pickle. I am wandering how much AWALT is in this behavior. I saw generation of my mum (55+) soldiering through some really bad times like champs, holding families together, thinking about everybody else but themselves and this girl (25) behaved in a manner that astounded me for a second.

Is it a generational thing? Did I just discovered that my girl isnt a person who will be of help in bad times or is it just a normal thing and all women are to an extend the same and you look for support within yourself and in your mates.

tl;dr: How much support, loyalty, understanding do you get from your wives in bad times, when you struggle? Is it a blue pill dream to not see them as just another thing to manage?