Do you punish plates who cancel on you

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May 2, 2020

Fucking a couple girls right now with a couple new dates coming over this week, hoping to find my 3rd plate. My “main” plate agreed to hangout on Sunday night after some back and forth, after agreeing I quickly filled up Monday night with another girl and Tuesday with my other plate. Have had phone calls with 3 other new ones for later in the week/end too, so that’s busy. Now main plate canceling Sunday and suggested Monday. I said “no worries, hang with your friends, we can figure something out later in the week” and now she thinks there’s something wrong because i suggested so far in advance “are we fighting?” etc.

plate spinners pls chime in

Post Information
Title Do you punish plates who cancel on you
Author pilot333
Upvotes 52
Comments 51
Date 02 May 2020 07:46 PM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit askTRP
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[–]FinancialThanks1104 points105 points  (1 child) | Copy

The “hang out with your friends” can be perceived as butthurt. Take that out and you’re fine

I don’t punish plates but there may be an inadvertent effect of punishment when I point my attention towards more reliable pussy

[–]throwawayok27272849227 points28 points  (0 children) | Copy

IMO punishment is only for a BDSM environment or if you’re in a serious relationship. In all honesty why should OP, or anyone who spins plates, care? That’s why you spin plates to begin with! There’s no commitment, no emotional investment required.

The fuck is the girl going to care about “punishment”? She’ll view OP as butthurt like you said.

[–]Snowboard18145 points146 points  (15 children) | Copy

“She’s not yours, it’s just your turn.” Punishing a plate is basically saying she’s yours, so no.

[–]throwawayok27272849211 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

OP could go with this or just not give a shit

[–]TheBlockedUser11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

It also displays your desperation for pussy.

[–]TheRedPillRipper6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

it’s just your turn.

It’s just her turn. She can jump off anytime. Or kick her off. Either way; you’ll be just fine.

Godspeed and good luck!

[–]robot3000_017 points8 points  (10 children) | Copy

Stop repeating the trp cuck mantra. This is complying with the female sexual strategy of serial "monogamy".

[–]Snowboard183 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

What ? how is this complying with serial monogamy? This is saying the opposite.

[–]Ill_mumble_that2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Reading comprehension is his weakness

[–]Snowboard182 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Probably just another rolyplaying hardass

[–]ihateyouguys8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

He says, as he offers no alternative.

[–]throwawayok2727284923 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

The alternative is to not give a shit and invite other women who want your time and attention.

[–]Azshira-5 points-4 points  (4 children) | Copy

Get with the fucking times and adapt

[–]robot3000_010 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I have you idiot

[–]Azshira0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I doubt that.

[–]robot3000_01-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

You've got a -3 rating on your comment. I suggest you question your wisdom on women.

[–]Azshira-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don’t nor have I ever gave a fuck about points on this site. Reflect on how you post/what you post and tell me if it’s consistent with somebody that actually has sex. You and people like you on this sub are too fucking jaded to actually give good advice, all you can do is parrot around ‘cuck’ and other buzzwords without offering any real suggestions, because you have no idea what the path to even flirting with a woman would look like.

If you were a woman, you’d 100% be that unattractive fat friend that always tries to cockblock because “men are trash” (code for cant get any fucking dick).

[–]Tousen716 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]Tambamwham13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

No. That’s part of having plates. And you should be glad. It helps keep a certain distance.

[–]alphakari39 points40 points  (1 child) | Copy

I don't punish plates for being flaky directly, because if I do, then it implies I want her to feel obligated to show up. People in general don't like to feel obligated to do something, and it takes something away from what they're doing when they feel like they're doing something they don't want to do.

Indirectly though, I just register in my head each time they flake that I can't expect anything from them, and that passively leads to them falling down the pecking order. Similarly, if a girl is reliable I might even hit her up more often than the hot flaky chick, just because it's lower maintanence.

There's a temptation to assume a girl is flaky because of you. But it's just the nature of relationships with women that no matter how large the SMV gap, provided she has any self-esteem whatsoever she'll eventually get ungrateful for you to an extent. It's why plates are hard to spin the longer you spin em.

[–]MrAnderzon1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

So if you were to punish/speak up about her canceling/flaking. To you it’s saying that there was obligation.

And if there’s an obligation for her to show up. Than it’s not really her showing up but just fulfilling the obligation.

You want her to show up because she WANTS to and not because she HAS to.

[–]PhaedrusHunt10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

The only punishment that works is the withhold of attention. If that doesn't work, nothing else will.

Reward good behavior, ignore bad behavior, if it continues, withdraw attention after bad behavior.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

^ This.

Also, rescheduling in advance is not, to me, flaking. I would reply (at this point) "I'm not fighting. I'm simply jammed up on Monday. Sunday still open, btw. Otherwise, {Wednesday or whatever}"

[–]hiddenpersona19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just cancel and move on, that’s why you need abundance mentality.

If she does it again, don’t make plans next time. Just invite her when you have free time, no plans, nothing scheduled. If she does it again, move on, soft next.

[–]AshyLarry278 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

I text "Don't worry about it, shit happens."

After that, it's her move. If she wants to keep seeing you, then she will text first. If there are cracks in the plate, any evidence she is getting ready to move on, then she won't text you back. And that's okay. You don't get vindictive. You just move on to the other plates.

The reason she has to text first is NOT because it is a "punishment." It will instead give you an idea of how much she is invested in you. You don't want to directly or indirectly force a girl to keep hanging out with you if she doesn't want to. Women respond to their feelings in the moment, and their feelings for you can die out. It's human nature. You have to have had these relatable moments where you got tired of fucking the same girl I would imagine, so use that to understand where she is coming from to avoid getting butt hurt.

The idea behind having plates isn't just to look cool and and enjoy variety, it allows you to divide up and disperse your attention. If all you have is one girl, you are more prone to getting angry and butt hurt when she cancels, ends things, or outright ghosts. This is because all your attention is focused on her. If it is instead dispersed amongst diffrent girls, you feel less attatchment to one particular girl. This is especially true when new girls enter the picture because it's someone diffrent, who you don't know well yet, and it is just the "new" feel to it that helps take your mind off the old plates.

[–]lozboss0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good post

[–]_DeezNuts714_6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Simp. Chad wouldve just said “Aight”.

[–]riskyreelz3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

And after she’ll suddenly come over the same night, usually.

[–]catsdontsmile4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don't like when people change plans at the last minute, its disrespectful to my time. I won't get mad but I'll go indifferent and turned off by that person. Repeat that and I'm done with you. Its not related to punishing the other person, its about you and your time deserving respect.

[–]W_O_M_B_A_T6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Now main plate canceling Sunday and suggested Monday.

If she's trying to reschedule, then something serious legit came up and odds are low she's just blowing you off because there's a better party the other side of town.

Option 1) "OK, Come over Wednesday @6p. Objections?"

If she's going to flake on you last minute the cost of entry of your time and commitment needs to go up a little.

Option 2) "I'm busy on Monday", then leave things hanging for a few days while you invest your valuable time and attention in other plates.

I said “no worries, hang with your friends, we can figure something out later in the week”

Too much effort, you sound like you're butthurt but trying too hard to pretend you're all cool and cheerful about it.

Anyone would be irritated at being cancelled on. Let her be the one to do the smoothing things over. Don't lie about your feelings, but don't try to make your irritation her business when it isn't.

and now she thinks there’s something wrong because i suggested so far in advance “are we fighting?” etc.

Because you were obviously bullshitting her. It's a bad idea to try to beat a woman at this particular game of pretending not to be upset. They're masters at it.

Ignore for a couple days. Invest your valuable time elsewhere. Then tell her to come over on Wednesday or whenever convenient.

[–]Scorch66 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just tell her don't worry about it and change the subject.

She thinks you are mad at her, likely you let on some butthurt.
Your title also gives this away, you are a bit butthurt about the fact she canceled.

She can feel that too and now she is anxious. You don't want to driver her up the walls with this shit, that's needlessly cruel and will make her drop.

Just tell her it's fine, you just have a busy week. That's enough. You don't do this to punish her, you just can't make monday.
If there is any motive of revenge or pettyness at all, you need to cut that shit out.

[–]throwawayok2727284922 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don’t give a shit that’s why you spin plates. You don’t own her why try a “punishment”?

If she wants to hang, cool. If she doesn’t, cool. Just be cool man you care too much to spin this.

[–]BlaseJong5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, you sound jealous that she prioritized something else over you. You have other plates so it’s nothing to you. Act like it.

[–]atrejomtnz1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bruh just say, "Ok cool maybe next time."

[–]Zombiespire2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I would say only react if they cancel more than once, especially more than twice. One of those reactions can be next

[–]mrpleaser970 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I think you're probably still using Dial-up. This post is like 3 months late; how the fuck are you still meeting women in a time like this?

[–]hondusa01-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]AncientDragons-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]Pycnostyle0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Are you sure you're not overthinking this? You suggested later in the week because you already have plans earlier in the week. That's the whole point of spinning plates. You keep options so that you're not beholden to the fleeting whims of any specific chick.

None of this is punishment. It's just the reality of being with a high SMV dude. She needs to accept that you have a busy social calendar and not take it so fucking personally.

[–]RivenHalf0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Results may vary, entirely depends on why they are canceling, what they are canceling, how soon they are canceling. Like most things there is no one size fit all answer.

[–]idevastate0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She cancelled but immediately offered another day, that's good, it shows high interest from her. There is no reason to punish, and if there were, punishing is juvenile, women are like cats, one moment they're here next moment you gotta be cool when they back off, you wanna look centered, you never know when it's a test. Be vague, tell her you're a busy man, but would love to see her later on in the week when you're available.

And the idea that you're seeing other girls or might see other girls is good, no woman wants to date a guy that isn't successful with women, you are of course never going to bring them up to her.

[–]Flip_Angelo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I don’t fucking care either way

[–]Vyergulf0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No I don’t punish anyone, simply because that’s not who I want to be. Just let her cancel and move on. No fuss.

[–]when_its_too_late0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Should have said "sorry that was my only free day till _______ day _______ week"

[–]Foend0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The line you said makes it sound like she went out clubbing with friends instead of seeing you?

Can you explain why her coming back to your place to bang afterward were not an option.

[–]YourPapaLarry0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You wouldn’t punish your friends if they had to bail, why are you punishing a plate?

If one friend cancels on you , you just make plans with another.......

[–]hittincervix0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I don't know about "punishing" but if it feels like she tried me I put her on the bottom of the depth chart.

[–]MGTOW_BEASTMODE0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No punishment needed.

You just next to the next plate.

"Can't make it tonight? no worries!"

[–]MrBlack096-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah she’s figuring out you’re a player and getting suspicious

[–]NexusReflexX-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Nothings wrong, im busy the rest of the week"

[–]Demolitionerx-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Plate spinning is just a ticking time bomb for getting some chick you hate pregnant, lol. Don't fuck a girl unless you think she'll be a good mother.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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