As a man in my mid/late 30s who fucked up most of my 20s and 30s, I want to share 3 lessons I learned the hard way:
- Don't waste time chasing pussy. Well, don't waste time at all. But pussy, in particular. Focus on improving yourself.
- Be careful of the relationship trap, especially when a girl has higher SMV. This is a big distraction from your goals. There are exceptions of course, but usually only if you are 'dating down'.
- If you are already in a relationship and it's great, that's wonderful, but if it's bad/toxic, stop trying to fix that shit or getting obsessed with it, just cut it out.
I'd love to hear from those of you 40+ and beyond. Do you agree / disagree with these lessons, and do you have anything else to add to this list?
If you can turn back time, or share advice with your younger self in your 30s, what do you wish you knew?
[–]diehard1194118 points119 points120 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Dr_Van_Nosstrand7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]babayega0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (86 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]krusecontrol9131 points32 points33 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Shakydrummer24 points25 points26 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Gordon-G21 points22 points23 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]KillaJewels44 points45 points46 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]LazerSpin13 points14 points15 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]falconiawillfall8 points9 points10 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]1HurricaneHugues9 points10 points11 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]falconiawillfall12 points13 points14 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]izaacibanez974 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]1HurricaneHugues0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]yvnglucifer1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]1HurricaneHugues2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]tudor0713 points14 points15 points (28 children) | Copy Link
[–]thefisherman196113 points14 points15 points (24 children) | Copy Link
[–]bouncedeck22 points23 points24 points (22 children) | Copy Link
[–]thefisherman19616 points7 points8 points (17 children) | Copy Link
[–]MGTOW_BEASTMODE31 points32 points33 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]RoloThomazi622 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]MGTOW_BEASTMODE1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]okuli9 points10 points11 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]thefisherman19611 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]bouncedeck2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]thefisherman19610 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]bouncedeck4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]bouncedeck2 points3 points4 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]thefisherman1961-1 points0 points1 point (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]bouncedeck-1 points0 points1 point (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]thefisherman1961-1 points0 points1 point (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]bouncedeck-1 points0 points1 point (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]LazerSpin-1 points0 points1 point (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]bouncedeck0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]LazerSpin-1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]bouncedeck0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]tudor072 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]beginner_2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MGTOW_BEASTMODE0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]1HurricaneHugues0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Lostfate0922 points23 points24 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BusterVadge18 points19 points20 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]billyboy_1236 points7 points8 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]billyboy_1230 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ay-fuh-q2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]bluesnsouls2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]tb1511 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Fuk_Boonyalls1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]tb1511 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Fuk_Boonyalls0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Yashugan001 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (17 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]ColossalEngineer19 points20 points21 points (14 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (13 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]ColossalEngineer2 points3 points4 points (12 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (11 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]anthero11 points12 points13 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[–]Helmet_Icicle4 points5 points6 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]anthero0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Helmet_Icicle2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Ed4all157 points8 points9 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]GiraffeOnWheels0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (2 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]KuroiSenkou2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]DanVRush1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Herdsengineers2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Lumby0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]jackandjill220 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]LazerSpin0 points1 point2 points (14 children) | Copy Link
[–]1HurricaneHugues0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Socially Unbearablejzekyll60 points1 point2 points (12 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (3 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]Socially Unbearablejzekyll6-1 points0 points1 point (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]Socially Unbearablejzekyll60 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]Socially Unbearablejzekyll6-3 points-2 points-1 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Socially Unbearablejzekyll60 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Socially Unbearablejzekyll6-1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (2 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]_nein_danke13 points14 points15 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev77 points78 points79 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[+]RedJem-11 points-10 points-9 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Razzoz68 points9 points10 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]RedJem-3 points-2 points-1 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]brngamer2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]RedJem0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]manfrombelow53 points54 points55 points (12 children) | Copy Link
[–]alphabachelor13 points14 points15 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]WolfofAllStreetz4 points5 points6 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]alphabachelor2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]WolfofAllStreetz0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]alphabachelor2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]nrjk0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]tacosattack0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]thesoloronin0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]alphabachelor2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Anciaki-4 points-3 points-2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]djc_tech25 points26 points27 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 13 points14 points15 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]watchguy450 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]secureMPC1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]tudor071 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]djc_tech5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]jackandjill220 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]RedPill_Dragon26 points27 points28 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (3 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]PebbleChunk2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]RedPill_Dragon2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]watchguy451 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]RedPill_Dragon2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Lostfate090 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]alphaonthecomeup0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt12 points13 points14 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Roto2esdios0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]skyrunner224 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]falecf434 points35 points36 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Blazer80827 points28 points29 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]WolfofAllStreetz4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SIR_SKINNYPENIS698 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]IAMB4TMAN35 points36 points37 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]tudor073 points4 points5 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]IAMB4TMAN9 points10 points11 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Roto2esdios2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Dr_Van_Nosstrand4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]pagenumberr5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]IAMB4TMAN6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Lostfate0920 points21 points22 points (17 children) | Copy Link
[–]Transport1279 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]HumbleTrees8 points9 points10 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]Lostfate092 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]HumbleTrees0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Lostfate090 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]jackandjill220 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]HumbleTrees1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]jackandjill220 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Shakydrummer1 point2 points3 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]black-cattle8 points9 points10 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]Shakydrummer2 points3 points4 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]black-cattle0 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Lostfate090 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]black-cattle0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]seducter0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]black-cattle1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]seducter0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]kireol10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 18 points19 points20 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]TheDeadlyZebra4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Endorsed ContributorUEMcGill8 points9 points10 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]le_wolfe1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]erottawa16 points17 points18 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MGTOW_BEASTMODE6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]sofferenzah3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]shyrix3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]buddhone4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]dutchgguy0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]lonelydude195 points6 points7 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]KingGerbz8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Pimpcool4207 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Dorqfish[🍰] 5 points6 points7 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]casual_redditor_010 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]watchguy450 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]H_Crush2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Gordon-G1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]coldestmichigan1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Herdsengineers1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]psychoduckly1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]z2a1-92 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]bumbuff3 points4 points5 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]le_wolfe5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]party_dragon0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Valyarian0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]LLL3peat-1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]fadadapple0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Filmguy0000 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]watchguy450 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Filmguy0001 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]watchguy450 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link