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Men in your 40s - if you can turn back time, what do you wish you knew in your 30s?

Reddit View
May 5, 2020

As a man in my mid/late 30s who fucked up most of my 20s and 30s, I want to share 3 lessons I learned the hard way:

  1. Don't waste time chasing pussy. Well, don't waste time at all. But pussy, in particular. Focus on improving yourself.
  2. Be careful of the relationship trap, especially when a girl has higher SMV. This is a big distraction from your goals. There are exceptions of course, but usually only if you are 'dating down'.
  3. If you are already in a relationship and it's great, that's wonderful, but if it's bad/toxic, stop trying to fix that shit or getting obsessed with it, just cut it out.

I'd love to hear from those of you 40+ and beyond. Do you agree / disagree with these lessons, and do you have anything else to add to this list?

If you can turn back time, or share advice with your younger self in your 30s, what do you wish you knew?

Post Information
Title Men in your 40s - if you can turn back time, what do you wish you knew in your 30s?
Author milkandweed
Upvotes 239
Comments 189
Date 05 May 2020 04:03 AM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Original Link
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
sexual market value

[–]diehard1194118 points119 points  (2 children) | Copy

I wholeheartedly agree. If I had the chance to meet my young self now, this is what I'd tell him:

  1. Focus on improving yourself and build a life that has meaning for you. Pussy comes as a byproduct.
  2. If you are in any kind of relationship do not be complacent. More so if you are with a girl with higher SMV than you. Keep on improving (point #1).
  3. Weed out toxic people from your life - friends or pussy - and nurture those that add value to it. Love yourself first and accept no disrespect.

[–]Dr_Van_Nosstrand7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've no reason to add or subtract anything from what you wrote. 100% agreed.

[–]babayega0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hmm I did focus on improving my life over the last few years, and I achieved a lot, but I also ended up being celibate. You definitely need to invest time into getting laid if you want to get laid.

[–][deleted]  (86 children) | Copy


[–]krusecontrol9131 points32 points  (0 children) | Copy

So glad I figured that out way early. Oh bliss


[–]Shakydrummer24 points25 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck marriage.

[–]Gordon-G21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy

Best advice right here gentlemen 👆🏾

[–]KillaJewels44 points45 points  (8 children) | Copy

Bro, literally had this talk with my dad (in his 60s), and he semi-agreed. This is coming from the biggest boss I know who always encouraged me to get married. In my late 20s and have no desire for marriage. Just seems like a bad deal.

Our tastes change with time, you get bored of your partner, and if shit doesn't go right or you realize fundamental differences, you're just stuck with this tight financial seatbelt. No thanks.

[–]LazerSpin13 points14 points  (7 children) | Copy

He agreed because he already had at least one kid. Plenty of people in their 60s who regret not having a child and now can't do anything to fix that other than adopting I guess.

[–]falconiawillfall8 points9 points  (6 children) | Copy

Yeah I want kids someday so I realize I'll have to get married. My goal is to get as much experience with plates as possible before then.

[–]1HurricaneHugues9 points10 points  (5 children) | Copy

Kids aren't conceived when you sign a piece of paper in some court house. Kids are born when you cum inside a girl. I don't see how your logic for getting married makes any sense. Explain.

[–]falconiawillfall12 points13 points  (2 children) | Copy

No high-value women will be willing to start a family with you without getting married. Even ignoring that, the best environment for a child is when both the father and mother are present so if you do knock up a chick, common law marriage will kick in at some point.

[–]izaacibanez974 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

also depends on your country and state though as far as common law. my state doesn’t have common law.

[–]1HurricaneHugues0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Common Law marriage isn't determined by time. If you don't present your girl to anyone as your "wife/spouse/bride" you'll be okay. By that I mean friends, acquaintances, professional relations, and even legal documents. File your taxes separately as 2 single people, don't let her take your last name, dont allow her to say that she's your "wife" to anyone. You stand clear of those and you'll ve good to go. Heck,you could even pull the 3000 IQ pro move by having her listed as tenant in your house. Have her pay you $10 every month for rent, and document it. That's extra protection.

[–]yvnglucifer1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Wouldn’t want to have a child go through split custody and not having a family environment.

[–]1HurricaneHugues2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

So let me get this straight: In your universe if there is no marriage, a man and a woman can't live under the same roof with their kids as a loving family? You're telling me that before a man can buy a house and have his girlfriend and kids living with him, legally he must be married otherwise he would be committing some crime or worse yet, breaking some natural law in the universe?

Did I get that right?

[–]tudor0713 points14 points  (28 children) | Copy

What if you want only one partner and kids?

[–]thefisherman196113 points14 points  (24 children) | Copy

Get a prenup. A woman who is worth having kids with that doesn’t want to get married beforehand is a unicorn.

[–]bouncedeck22 points23 points  (22 children) | Copy

Prenuptial agreements are really limited in scope, expensive to execute, and often get thrown out.

[–]thefisherman19616 points7 points  (17 children) | Copy

Limited in scope? Often? Please elaborate.

[–]MGTOW_BEASTMODE31 points32 points  (2 children) | Copy

"He... sniff sniff he.. MADE me sign that pre-nup, your honor, I'm just a poor helpless woman with a child to raise now.. sniff sniff"

Honor: slams gavel "PRENUP ANNULLED! "

[–]RoloThomazi622 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Best way to turn a feminazi into a 1950's housewife victim is a trip to family court

[–]MGTOW_BEASTMODE1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

"There's no feminists in a house fire." Bill Bur

[–]okuli9 points10 points  (4 children) | Copy

Prenup only limited to assets acquired prior to marriage. You can not make agreements regarding future earnings.

My lawyer said that if woman said during divorce that she felt pressured to sign prenup - it would be up to the judge if he's going to honor prenup. This varies in different states, but blue states usually have more pro-women position.

[–]thefisherman19611 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Prenup only limited to assets acquired prior to marriage. You can not make agreements regarding future earnings.

Untrue. If you live in a community property state then all assets acquired after marriage are automatically split 50/50. If you get a prenup then you can decide how to split property acquired after marriage.

My lawyer said that if woman said during divorce that she felt pressured to sign prenup - it would be up to the judge if he's going to honor prenup. This varies in different states, but blue states usually have more pro-women position.

But you said it happens often. How often?

[–]bouncedeck2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

This is subject to rules of it being "too lopsided" which can be litigated.

As far as how often, that varies by state I would say but there has been quite a few expensive and well executed prenups tossed recently.

Here are some examples of some more famous ones:

[–]thefisherman19610 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

All of your examples are of super rich guys. How about something a little more representative of middle class Millennials?

[–]bouncedeck4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

For your average guy, what can you cover? Not a lot. You can cover whatever average assets you might bring into the marriage, but getting a proper prenup done is quite expensive and she can still challenge it and you will have to pay to defend it. So unless you have pretty decent assets to protect and are willing/can pay to protect them, chances are that a prenup may not be worth it.

[–]bouncedeck2 points3 points  (8 children) | Copy

Scope - there are several things here but here are some of the big ones - Children from the marriage covered by the prenup cannot be addressed (which is huge by itself). Then there is a big are for "Provisions that are unconscionable or illegal." For example one party cannot totally give up their right to alimony. There is a big problem in this section. By itself you can have to re-litigate over terms that may or may not fall into this area.

Execution - You have to pay for your lawyer and typically her lawyer and they both and your potential spouse have to agree to it.

Prenups can and are thrown out - this is a big area and varies by state - but here in an explanation for why in Texas.

Here is a more general one:

Many prenups have been thrown out for being lopsided or claims of duress. Considering that you will be more than likely paying her lawyer to contest the prenup you signed, potentially in a state that is not friendly to divorcing men or prenups.

To circle back to initial answer, as you should be able to easily see by now, the simple answer "get a prenup" is not really that simple or really much protection unless you are bringing a really large amount of money into the marriage and are willing to pay a significant amount of it to potentially litigate it, and even then, it carries significant risk.

[–]thefisherman1961-1 points0 points  (7 children) | Copy

Children are going to be handled by family court automatically no matter what happens with the parents. There is absolutely no way around this if you want kids. So I don’t see how that’s relevant.

Both parties can waive their right to alimony. You also don’t necessarily need two lawyers to draft up a fair prenup that both parties agree to.

[–]bouncedeck-1 points0 points  (6 children) | Copy

It is relevant because kids from previous marriages can be covered in prenups, and no you cannot waive alimony in most states and even in ones that allow it, good luck with keeping that prenup valid, from my understanding that will likely fail under the fairness doctrine applied to these things. Maybe you can litigate it forever if you have the money, good luck with that I guess.

[–]thefisherman1961-1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy

Your source says that you can waive alimony though

[–]bouncedeck-1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy

No that is not what it says:

"You are getting married, you know you want a prenup, but you do not want to have to pay alimony in the event of a divorce. Can you waive alimony in a prenuptial agreement? The answer is yes. You can waive alimony in a prenuptial agreement; however, it must be done with the significant caveats and disclosures and there is never a 100% guarantee. The other party must be represented by an attorney, or a very solid waiver (which is still a risk)."

It says right there that even with all the caveats mentioned that it is still a risk. Then it clearly spells out why:

"However, if the waiver of alimony would leave the spouse needing government assistance, the court can and will set aside the waiver of alimony. At the end of the day, there is no guarantee and it will ultimately be up to the judge to decide whether the waiver is enforceable."

That is pretty clear. Good luck getting a waiver of alimony to stick even in a state that explicitly allows it.

"Facts and actions that occur during the marriage can also come in to play.

The best bet is to include a formula for when and how much alimony should be paid. This can be based upon the differences in incomes, length of the marriage, or any other factor you want to include, such as no alimony if the other spouse commits adultery. Allowing for some form alimony versus a complete waiver is just a safer route to go. At the end of the day, a prenuptial agreement is a contract and you can agree to anything so long as you meet the legal requirements for a valid prenup (blog to come on this topic), and the terms do not violate public policy or the contract contains terms that are illegal. But again, and I cannot reiterate this enough, if the prenuptial agreement is contested, it will be up to the Judge to decide and everything is fair game at that point.

On a side note, you cannot waive alimony in a post-nuptial agreement"

[–]LazerSpin-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy

really limited in scope

Not true. They can list whatever within bounds of reason and contract law.

expensive to execute

Sure, but so is anything when lawyers are involved. It'll probably cost 10-15k for two lawyers. Is this expensive? Well, if you have assets to protect then the answer is probably "no".

often get thrown out

Anything is possible in court. That's why you prepare as best you can in how you draft the prenup (she has equal representation, etc) and hope you did a good job vetting your woman.

[–]bouncedeck0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

No the scope is limited you cannot include anything pertaining to any kids from the marriage in question. Also in most if not all cases property acquired during the marriage is limited or not covered.

If you bring a house into the marriage then you sell it and buy another house, good luck.

[–]LazerSpin-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

You can even go so far as to update a prenup with postnup provisions during the marriage. This exists precisely to cover cases like what you describe (pre-marital money used to acquire assets during marriage).

If you got a hate-boner for prenups I won't change your mind, but you have to stop spreading lies.

[–]bouncedeck0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good luck finding a woman to agree to postnup modifications that remove her access to assets. It has nothing to do with me liking prenups or not, this is the reality of how prenups work. I am not lying I provided clear links in several other comments and quoted them.

[–]tudor072 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you

[–]beginner_2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Why do you need to marry to have kids?

[–]MGTOW_BEASTMODE0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Surrogate and get a dog.

[–]1HurricaneHugues0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Then do that. Explain to me how kids are conceived, and then define "partner".

[–]Lostfate0922 points23 points  (0 children) | Copy

Preach it brother

[–]BusterVadge18 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy

THIS! And Do not wait until you're divorced to start lifting. That was another of my mistakes.

[–]billyboy_1236 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

dont chase a whore and leave a real women for her i would say if shes worthy she will help you in building an empire if you go for dumb vagina she will ruin your life ask this to guy who lost his chance to be bill gates because his bitch dont know the basic rule of business and was arrogant and dumb asf

[–]billyboy_1230 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

first line is also valid for jeff bezos(founder of amazon) love affair

[–]ay-fuh-q2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is the right answer. Period.

[–]bluesnsouls2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

The one time my LTR bring up children's, I firmly said, "I don't want children's until I'm on my lates 30's, and I won't get married ever, if I get someone pregnant before that, the relationship would end immediately". After that she just adopted my posture like it's her own idea and whenever she's asked she defends with courage even to her parents that she's going to enjoy life on her 30's and maybe have children after that.

That's the kind of respect and reputation you get when you're congruent with what you say and what you do.

I'm still really cautious though, you can never know something for sure.

[–]tb1511 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

This....and to understand what narcissism is so I could identify it and the NOT MARRY IT.

[–]Fuk_Boonyalls1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

This can't be upvoted enough. All men need to know about about Cluster B personality disorders, the red flags you'll see at the start of any relationship that go with them and just how important it is to walk as soon as you see them.

[–]tb1511 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

unfortunately, no one will fully understand the gravity of this until they or someone close to them experience it

[–]Fuk_Boonyalls0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It’s really unfortunate. Given how common it is, and how easily is can rip your life to shreds, I’d say it’s the most important thing a man needs to learn if his looking to spin plates.

[–]Yashugan001 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–][deleted]  (17 children) | Copy


[–]ColossalEngineer19 points20 points  (14 children) | Copy

thats a terrible idea, you are too young to make such a decision

[–][deleted]  (13 children) | Copy


[–]ColossalEngineer2 points3 points  (12 children) | Copy


[–]Herdsengineers2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Guys, there's a procedure where a doc can stick your nads with a needle, withdraw semen, and use it to impregnate the woman of your choice. It's pricey, but not as pricey as kids with some woman you'd rather cut ties with. It allows you to get snipped young and still have a reasonable shoot at reproducing should you decide you want to.

[–]Lumby0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I got one at 24 and it was the best decision of my life. If you've got the savings I highly recommend cryogenically banking some sperm before the procedure. Doing that turned out to be the second best decision of my life.

[–]jackandjill220 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–]LazerSpin0 points1 point  (14 children) | Copy

Not even in your 30s? Not even if you want kids?

Problem is that you want a young (28-32, maaaybe up to 34) woman with whom to have kids to avoid genetic issues like autism. Also your sperm potency drops even as men age.

This means that if someone realistically wants kids their window of opportunity (due to biology) is pretty limited.

[–]1HurricaneHugues0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

How are children conceived?

[–]Socially Unbearablejzekyll60 points1 point  (12 children) | Copy

TRP gets a lot of the anti natalists from the rest of Reddit. TRP is Jewish propaganda to eliminate the white race.

[–][deleted]  (3 children) | Copy


[–]Socially Unbearablejzekyll6-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

Classic pussyshack. It’s weird, I can only pull black chicks and they fuck the life out of me, but it still doesn’t clean my mind of the fact that if I want white children I’ll be getting tyrones leftovers. Fml

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy


[–]Socially Unbearablejzekyll60 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My neighbor is a mud shark and she looks guilty as sin to be with him. I’m still not sure why of all the guys in this city she chose a brother but he’s 6’4” so maybe he’s the tallest guy around idk. She’s like 5’5” so she’s probably into being picked up.

That being said Idc what black women think I’m gonna do with them they pursue me and make my life easy and I can select for the hot ones and even virgins occasionally.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy

I’ve thought about this before and honestly there is some truth to it, redpill can absolutely lead to the degradation of the nuclear family... take what you can from here but find your own redpill.

I plan on having a lot of kids, but not until my late 30s- early 40s

[–]Socially Unbearablejzekyll6-3 points-2 points  (6 children) | Copy

Or just don’t be the soy husbands on the rest of Reddit. Don’t be afraid to slap the woman from time to time and if you tie her up forget about it and leave her that way. Or just pimp her out (but importantly, you choose the guys)

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Lmao don’t pimp out your wife bro

[–]Socially Unbearablejzekyll60 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

you Choose the guys

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy


You’re basically telling guys to choose the guys who get to cuck them.

Shut the fuck up

[–]Socially Unbearablejzekyll6-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

You can’t prevent being cucked. You can’t stop her from thinking about other men during sex. You can’t stop her from leaving or cheating short of tying her up. But you can get money from her.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Aight, you do you man

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy


[–]_nein_danke13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

I am in the exact same position brother. Read No More Mr Nice Guy again recently and it made me realise I need to cut it not constantly try to fix it.

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're never locked in a relationship. You're a guy. Relationships are what you provide for women - just as sex, service, and comfort are what they provide for you.

If at any point you are unsatisfied with what a girl is providing you, you have the power to break it off and find someone better for the job.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev77 points78 points  (6 children) | Copy

Life After 30: How to Be an Old Guy

-You have one life. Here's how to enjoy it.

[–]manfrombelow53 points54 points  (12 children) | Copy

All the years before you turn 30 should be (and must be) spent and invested in:

1- Building practical skills

2- Acquiring as much knowledge as possible by studying and reading and researching.

3- Pursuing academic degrees

4- Learning how to earn and keep money

5- Taking care of yourself, both mentally and physically, knowing the only person you can rely on eventually is nobody but yourself.

6- Hit the fucking gym

7- Instead of spending money on thots and pussies, invest it onto yourself.

8- Chase excellence and pussies will follow you. Chase pussies and you'll have nothing: No pussies, no excellence.

9/ Most importantly: BE REDPILLED, as soon as possible.

[–]alphabachelor13 points14 points  (8 children) | Copy

God, yes. All of this.

The only thing is missing is: Live frugally and invest the majority of money you save in the stock market. Buy index ETF's if you do not want to learn stock selection through security analysis. And turn on the DRIP.

[–]WolfofAllStreetz4 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy

Stock marker is a tough one for who jumped in 8 weeks ago. Oof.

[–]alphabachelor2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Take comfort in this image:

Are you holding index ETF's or individual stocks?

[–]WolfofAllStreetz0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

All my stuff is ETF and a target date retirement fund. (Vandguard 2045)

[–]alphabachelor2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You'll laughing then. I would contribute as much as you can during this mess.

[–]nrjk0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's all up from far.

I only went -5% at the worst part, sold nothing, and bought more shares of various stocks/ETFs. Back up around 15-17% now.

Always have cash on hand for dips.

[–]tacosattack0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don't think in terms of 'ooga booga number go up'. Think in terms of entry point and exit point. The coming 12 months are going to be bloody, and you should buy when there's blood in the streets. That's your entry point.

Long term (10-20yrs) will generally trend up, that's your exit point. Dollar cost average on the way down, then get time in the market.

[–]thesoloronin0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

What’s DRIP?

[–]alphabachelor2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

DRIP stands for Dividend Reinvestment Plan.

What this means is when you earn dividends on a stock, instead of getting dividends deposited as cash. They will be used to purchase more stock commission free if the amount of dividends earned is more than the individual share price.

For example: If you earn $115 worth on dividends on a stock and the current share of the stock is $50 then you would get 2 additional shares of that stock and $15 cash back.

This magnifies the power of compounding and you don't have to pay any commissions to buy shares through DRIP.

[–]Anciaki-4 points-3 points  (0 children) | Copy

The Is no gym in quarantine

[–]djc_tech25 points26 points  (8 children) | Copy

Divorced and 42. I’m in shape, make good money and get a lot of attention. Getting married isn’t the best option for men this day in age. I have a kid I see less than half the time (going to fix that), I am financially ruined from divorce and still trying to recover and of course your sex life isn’t the same when married. It’s not worth it, just don’t do it.

As for dating younger, I would agree it’s a fun thing to do but remember when you’re at that 35 and up range they’re looking at settling down. Women in their late 20s early 30s have started hurting that wall and will do anything to settle down. They look to older guys for that trust me. There’s something to be said for their desperation. Ignore it and play the field. For those who have done the marriage business like myself there’s no reason to ever do it again and those who haven’t gone through it don’t do it. It’s really not worth it.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (3 children) | Copy

The 40s... best years to bang 20 something girls

[–]watchguy450 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Is this actually true?

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Based on my own observations and the collective feedback of my peers yes. Assuming you are not ugly, lifting and taking good care of yourself you have no competition at 40. You are at the top of the food chain. Prime LTR material for any kind of woman.

Here are my assumptions:

  • you are seen as a mature man who got experience and supposedly his shits together
  • single, fit and handsome men in their 40s are few and far between, and scarcity drives value.
  • good looking 40 yr old guys are generally considered the most masculine and physically attractive among women. It’s reflected in the popular culture in many movies. Eg. James bond, george clooney etc
  • women will assume that at this age you want to « settle down »
  • guys in their 40s generally make good money, have professional achievements and more attractive lifestyles than younger men.

All these reasons contribute to making you a safer bet for many young women in their prime.

[–]secureMPC1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

No it's a lot easier as a guy their age.

[–]tudor071 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Divorced and 42

Where do you think you made a mistake that you ended up in this position and what did you learn from it?

[–]djc_tech5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

That they actually care about you. They don’t. If you’re facing an issue or a problem you’re on your own. Don’t every go or ask then for help, ever. Toughest thing I had realize is no one is here to help you through the tough times, you have to go at it by yourself and alone.

By and large women are the same. They’ll manipulate and try to bed the truth to their narrative all the time.

[–]jackandjill220 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–]RedPill_Dragon26 points27 points  (8 children) | Copy

I have more to add.

A) Continue going to the gym. Functional strength is entirely important for your future.

B) Women have no idea what they are doing and they are destructive. You will only become financially successful when you remove them from your life.

C) You are going to see a lot of women start hitting the wall. Don't pity them. You will see single mothers, many who are gorgeous, who are very enticing. Run away. Both of these groups will end up screwing losers and then asking you for help. RUN AWAY!!!!

D) Your career is everything. Only focus on that. Sure have hobbies but you need to work and specialize.

E) You might have a relationship failure. That's okay. Let her go peacefully and then go your own way. She is not worth it.
F) You will see other people start to have kids, families...etc. Don't envy them and wait. You will be surprised how many men will be divorce raped. You want to entirely avoid that. Many of these victimized men will be poor and will never have the opportunity to procreate again. You don't want to be in that boat with them.
G) Women post 35 are rather frantic to land a man. Laugh at them. You can watch them hit 40 without anyone and then see them truly suffer while you are still dating. It's beautiful.

H) When you are 39, you want to be lifting 2 - 3 plates with bench, squat and deadlift, have over 100,000 saved cash, have another 200,000 in a retirement account, and either have a mortgage or be in a position to buy a house where you want to live. Make sure that a woman is 100% NOT involved with any of this.

I) When you get to your 40s, you can easily date women 25 - 29 years old. Don't even date women in their 30s. There will be a slew of "reformed" CC riding Thots +35 who will try to say what kind of woman you should dating. Laugh at them and then ignore them. Honestly, they don't give a shit about you.

[–][deleted]  (3 children) | Copy


[–]PebbleChunk2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Cock Carousel lol

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy


[–]RedPill_Dragon2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I have met women post 32 who rode the CC hard and have the 1000 cock stare. They can barely pair bond and just want to get off. They are only interested in using men for money and that's exactly what they will do. Flee from them. Then, you get to the 40s and she is all regretful after spending a few years either being a pure pump and dump or not having any man at all. They go around talking about how they bring value to men and relationships and how they haven't hit the wall when obviously the wall defeated them so bad, France is sending them aid. They go around kind of quiet, just trying to see if they can have a date and it like never happens. I have, maybe 30 such female friends in my life? Something like that. And they all hate that I'm dating a 29 year old blonde. So, you don't have to settle, like keep on focusing on yourself. Make sure you don't make a kid however unless you are entirely 100% protected as many women will destroy you. I mean, I asked one of my friends about it.... like, how could you lay there allowing him to hump you while you were planning on taking his kid from him and getting child support? Like, how were you emotionally able to do that? She said that it was only 15 mins and a BJ every day for a few weeks and then she was financially secure 18 years so why not? Dude, you don't even want to be in that kind of position.

[–]watchguy451 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Is it possible to have this all squared away and still not have as many options with women as you would like?

I’m mainly worried about losing my hair by 40 and losing options as a result.

[–]RedPill_Dragon2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I went bald, still got massive options.

If you have your act together, you won't care about the women and your options will be much greater than teens -> 30s combined.

[–]Lostfate090 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What are you talking about bro, being bald doesn't make you lose options, being an insecure little bitch about it will however

[–]alphaonthecomeup0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I like this list a lot. Especially H

[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt12 points13 points  (3 children) | Copy

Don't get married.
Keep hitting the gym, but smartly.
Avoid fast food as much as possible.
Invest aggressively in tech stocks.
Minimize my spending on going out to bars by having a widget that brings people to me instead (status).

To be fair these are more things I wish from my 20s. By my 30s I already knew and was putting them into practice.

[–]Roto2esdios0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Minimize my spending on going out to bars by having a widget that brings people to me instead (status).

Could you explain this? please

[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Think Great Gatsby/business owner/Hefner. It's all about the status. When you have it people will dance and sing for your attention, and in terms of women, it means peak abundance and them going gaga to be in your harem. That's how you get laid like a warlord well into old age.

[–]skyrunner224 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Was one of the subtle things mentioned in The Game that I rarely see mentioned for some reason. Was one of his epiphanies late in the book. That is how you play and win. You become the house. You make the rules, you run the show. When in that position, you ALWAYS win.

[–]falecf434 points35 points  (3 children) | Copy

"Don't chase pussy" as all lessons are about pussy...

What else you got?

[–]Blazer80827 points28 points  (1 child) | Copy

Learning about finance would be another good piece of advice. Do not go in debt to buy stupid shit, have a 3-6 month emergency fund, invest in an index fund ETF every month so you can cash in on that sweet compound interest until your retirement. You can calculate the benefits of doing that here.

Do regular health check ups so you can rather prevent issues as treating them will be a lot harder. Make friends, have fun, live long, prosper, that type of shit.

[–]WolfofAllStreetz4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Agree with the ETF or Roth Ira. Im self employed and fucked this up. I didn’t start maxing till I was 34, hopefully its not to late as Ill have a solid 30 years of investing.

[–]SIR_SKINNYPENIS698 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, on a subreddit dedicated to dating strategy. Who'd have thunk it? :p

[–]IAMB4TMAN35 points36 points  (6 children) | Copy

Everyone has covered the main stuff, so I'll stick to something subtler that you might not get now, but one day it might hit you, maybe it won't. Maybe fuck yourself.

Let it come, let it be, let it go. With all things in life, strive to be the initiator of the one letting go. With jobs, relationships, everything.

At a certain point, shit just won't work out, no matter how hard you try. If you're even in a position contemplating if something is going to work out, it's already broken. Let it go. Letting go of things is actually the most efficient strategy that will 'fix' things assuming 'it' was fixable to begin with. But as a young guy, you're too scared to be out there alone. Out there 'free'. But let's save this latter philosophical discussion for later.

[–]tudor073 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Can you expand this latter philosophical discussion? I really struggle with this one right now.

[–]IAMB4TMAN9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

Why are there so many men in dead end jobs? Why are there so many men in shitty ass relationships? You think they enjoy that shit? Plot twist: they do.

They love being in environments with rules, limitations, why? Because they need someone to tell them what to do. Because they are scared of agency. The cost of freedom is agency. But you have no idea how strongly most men will struggle to avoid it.

[–]Roto2esdios2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Interesting. That remembers kind of rule #1 from Rich dad. Poor dad: The Rich Don't Work For Money

[–]Dr_Van_Nosstrand4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

The book "The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck" by Mark Manson. really helped me with this concept. Highly recommend it to everyone. Cliff notes version: You only have so many fucks to give, choose wisely about what you give a fuck about.

[–]pagenumberr5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is some new age/self help philosophy BS. Be specific with your advices or don't give them at all. This shit is so vague i can't even know what you're talking about. "Let it be... You know... Those things come and go... You have to accept the present..." Nah bro cut that shit off. Not here.

[–]IAMB4TMAN6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

First paragraph, last sentence

[–]Lostfate0920 points21 points  (17 children) | Copy

Thanks for sharing, I've just turned 30, my main goal is to become financially independent through passive income before I'm 40

[–]Transport1279 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’m gonna turn 30 in a few months, and I have the same goal as you. Let me know if you figure out how to get passive income

[–]HumbleTrees8 points9 points  (6 children) | Copy

What passive income sources you looking at?

[–]Lostfate092 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

I rent two rooms out in my house at the minute which after mortgage payments and expenses gives me an extra £550 a month add that to the £700 i'm saving a month.

I've saving up to buy another house at the minute which i plan to turn into a HMO and rent four rooms out. rinse and repeat

[–]HumbleTrees0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Wait so you bought a house and renting out two of the rooms pays all your mortgage costs, and expenses, while leaving you with £550 a month in profit? God damn

Do you mind if I ask roughly which area of the UK and roughly what age you are? That's a dream situation.

[–]Lostfate090 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I live in Sheffield and I'm 30

[–]jackandjill220 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I've got a stock/cryptocurrency portfolio.

[–]HumbleTrees1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

You need a shit ton invested to ride on the 2% effective net gains

[–]jackandjill220 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I don't pay taxes. I use money laundering tactics; BTC mixers & DeepWeb P2P exchanges to increase my margins outside the watchful eye of IRS/government regulation, among other things. I also, bought in the dips during the stock market crash. So, when the market rebounds my gains will be quite substantial & I've started already.

  • My yield from my recent purchases are 2, 3x my initial investment & some have just leveled out to pre-recession/market crash highs. With a "Bull Run" you could be looking at substantially more.

[–]Shakydrummer1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy

That's literally where I'm at too hahaha. My plan is to learn E commerce

[–]black-cattle8 points9 points  (7 children) | Copy

I do ecommerce, own farmland and rental houses. Its awesome.

[–]Shakydrummer2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy

Do you mainly do dropshipping or print on demand? Right now I'm a career musician (mainly teaching for the foreseeable future, RIP hired gigs due to covid) but I'm re-learning drawing and illustrator to hit niche markets once my graphic design chops are passable. Kinda playing the long game but may as well learn new skills cause we're all on lockdown

[–]black-cattle0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

I manufacture my own products and FBM (fulfillment by merchant). Meaning we handle all the shipping and customer service too. Its alot of work but I am basically obsessed with it. It's a lifestyle business. I started out dropshipping. Not a huge fan of that but it taught me alot.

[–]Lostfate090 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Just curious but why do you do "FBM" I'm guessing with Amazon? rather than FBA?

[–]black-cattle0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I did some FBA in the beginning and it was ok. Alot of the products I was selling at the time were perishable (live plants) and it just worked better to ship them direct to the customer myself. So I was already shipping and just kept adding products.

Then Covid hit and all non essential FBA got screwed basically. I am SFP so that really helps too. I really think now is a great opportunity for people that are able to ship the orders. If you can handle the volume. Its a great business.

[–]seducter0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Anywhere you recommend looking into this, or books you read that helped you figure it out? I got laid off, am busting my ass learning new skills like programming and want to add some entrepeneurial skills too.

Thanks and keep it up!

[–]black-cattle1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Watched alot of YouTube videos. Read reddit forums for drop shipping, flipping, small business. Biggest thing imo is pick a niche and become the best at that. Put the customers first, providing value. Picking the right niche you can service is key. Enjoy!

[–]seducter0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks man you’ve inspired what I will be doing today! Keep up the great work!

[–]kireol10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

As time goes on, and you get older, your own mortality starts to set in. People around or just slightly older than you get cancer, die, etc. Because of this, you realize how short life is. So you start living each day with more impact. You waste less time doing trivial things like watching TV all night long. Start educating yourself more. Start doing more. Stop procrastinating. Use each day to its fullest. And, this may sound contrary, but rest and relax more. Just don't do it in front of the TV lol.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'd maybe change 1) a bit, and say, if you are going to waste time then you should be chasing tail as opposed to video games or netflix

TRP would say that women date up and across so not sure if 2) is ever possible.

[–]TheDeadlyZebra4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Number 2 is definitely possible.

Especially in cases where the man creates an illusion of higher SMV, or when he loses SMV over time, but his woman refuses or neglects detection of it.

[–]Endorsed ContributorUEMcGill8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

I never had a problem with girls. I've always managed to find a girlfriend or date when I wanted. But, I was a serial monogamist. I stayed in a few relationships that I should have ended way earlier. I gave some girls way higher value than they had. To that, I gave too many relationships value that they didn't have.

I probably stayed too long in a few jobs for the same reasons too.

I learned many hard lessons that the only person who will ever advocate for your needs is you. Put your mission first. If anyone tries to change the mission, eject them from your life. If anyone drags you down, eject them. If someone is sucking value from your life, eject them. Build the life you want or someone else will do it for you.

[–]le_wolfe1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Put your mission first. If anyone tries to change the mission, eject them from your life.

Sounds good to me. Applies to pretty much anybody in your life.

[–]erottawa16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

Drink less - it's fun to get fucked up, but it's also detrimental to your heath and goals if it becomes a frequent event. Chase natural hghs instead. Learn to surf, rock climb or some other adrenaline inducing rush. Much more satisfying.

Don't think you can beat the market - you are usually much better off just keeping yourself 100% invested in index funds and contributing a set amount every month and let time and compound interest work its magic. You don't waste time on trying to learn about individual companies (you wlll also be at a information disadvantage) and you get a higher % of your money invested. Warren Buffett suggests this strategy for the average investor, and that means you and me.

[–]MGTOW_BEASTMODE6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy


Letting her move in fucks with all your life plans.

[–]sofferenzah3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

As a 19 year old taking the year out redo exams for uni, I really appreciate this info from someone who has more life experience. Thanks for the priceless info man

[–]shyrix3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

40+ bachelor is prime right now. Tons of women going older since so many millennial betas.

Its a great time for age gap provided no baggage, kids or exwives around

[–]buddhone4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

I would find something I like to do and stick to it. Then make a job out of it. In my 30ies I was erratic with my interests, I had too many.

[–]dutchgguy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–]lonelydude195 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

What’s dating down?

[–]KingGerbz8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

I assume it’s dating women with lower SMV’s than yourself. Which sucks if you’re a 5, which is why we should all aim to become 10’s, become the prize.

[–]Pimpcool4207 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Less-attractive or otherwise less-desirable girl.

If you've got a less-attractive girl she might be down to do anything for you while you focus your attention on your own life and goals. Dating more-attractive women tends to require giving them more time/attention (or maybe it doesn't, but if your interest level is higher than hers then it'll end up that way)

[–]Dorqfish[🍰] 5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

As a 38 year old man,

I will absolutely resonate with numbers 2 and 3 ( ESPECIALLY IF THE FEMALE HAS A HIGH SMV)

After getting out of the military I thought a relationship with a high SMV woman was all I needed to grow old comfortably. 15 years later, My life is a mess from the divorce to her, And I Pay over a 1/3rd of my taxed monthly income to her so that I can have access to my children.. Because, YES, If you do not pay child support, YOU WILL END UP IN JAIL!

Don't get it twisted either, fellow RPs, I will proudly support my own children, But I Should be properly re-instated as the rightful legal authority over my own children and not just the court ordered fucking a.t.m. You will be Tooled if you get Married, Plain and simple.

Listen to your elders, ya young fire pissers. Focus on YOURSELF, Make yourself and your own life great! Even the most Amazing woman on the planet, in the end, is only going to stay with you for so long.

Why Should she stay longer when she doesn't have to? When the benefits of hopping are equal or greater! We, also, all know ladies spin plates gentlemen. And all "This" is what, I believe, our society gets for shitting on the institution of marriage for 50 + years.

So ,Gentlemen, focus on making yourself EPIC, !!

Because at the end of your days! YOU ARE THE SHMOE, staring back at yourself in the mirror. Not her.

[–]casual_redditor_010 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Damn. The last part.

Thank you for that.

[–]watchguy450 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Can you expand? What would you suggest I do do make myself epic?

I make great money with a good career, I lift , but no other hobbies. Prob will sign up for BJJ when this quarantine ends

[–]H_Crush2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

all good advices, but I think humans in general and most of us here even more are very stubborn and we can't learn from such advice unless we ourselves experience it. sometimes not even then

[–]Gordon-G1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Jay Cutler is going through the shit right now

[–]coldestmichigan1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

As a man in his late 20s im saving this post for posterity.

[–]Herdsengineers1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Select a LTR/mate that has values similar to your own. Have mission, the LTR/mate should share your values, see the benefit of your mission, and want to come along help accomplish the mission.

[–]psychoduckly1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Let "your Bros" go fuck themselves. Bros before hoes is meaningless. Both will drop you in a heartbeat.

[–]z2a1-92 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Do not get married ever, ever, ever under any circumstances or cohabitation

If you want to be a father, one kid max, there are plenty out there passing your genes so not a necessity

Be financially responsible, save money for a rainy day and retirement

Be a responsible father, brother, son, cousin, uncle, friend, coworker, citizen, etc. always lead by example and others will follow

Learn to get along with everyone

Always remain calm never let emotions get the best of you in any circumstance, its okay to walk away

Enjoy life, travel, and slay plenty of women by doing what is necessary to achieve that

Educate yourself and work hard always

These are a few for me, and while I've achieved some and missed on others of some of these points, that's okay because becoming a winner and learning from your past makes it worthwhile in becoming the man you want to be, game on younglings.

[–]bumbuff3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy

Get on juice and get shredded faster.

Honestly, 2 years of juice (and working out, duh) is probably equivalent to 7 to 10 years of natty working out.

Should have done it in my mid-20's to be honest.

edit: This is what I would have told myself. Your downvotes make little sense in this thread.

[–]le_wolfe5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Not moralizing or anything, but juicing doesn't seem like a good, healthy option from a long term perspective.

[–]party_dragon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

this. there's a reason your body puts on only so much muscles. joints and ligaments are way more important long-term and grow/strengthen much more slowly

[–]Valyarian0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

how long would you say you need to workout before going on juice, just recently starting working out frequently with Quarantine

[–]LLL3peat-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

You need to be training seriously for around ~5 before hopping on anything. Age plays a huge factor here too. Don't touch anything until you are over 30. Unless you're Big 3 are over 1300 (bench + squat + bench), I'd say it's pointless to hop on.

You need to be training seriously for around ~5 years before hopping on anything. Age plays a huge factor here too. Don't touch anything until you are over 30. Unless your Big 3 are over 1300 (bench + squat + bench), I'd say it's pointless to hop on as someone who isn't a true gym rat/dedicated before can make massive noob gains for the first 2-3 years.

[–]fadadapple0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I wish I knew how to turn back time in my 30s so I could keep turning it back until I get a full do-over.

[–]Filmguy0000 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

A guy in his 40s once told me what he did as far as fucking women. When he was in his 20s, he practiced game and started fucking women in their 40s. When he reached his 30s, he fucked women in his same age range. Then when he hit his 40s, he only fucks women in their 20s.

[–]watchguy450 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Lol why? What I the rationale?

[–]Filmguy0001 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

He described it as "leveling up" lol. In his 20's, he said, women at that age group were too hard to get for most guys. So he started practicing on women who were a bit older (40s).

Then when he did good with them he leveled up to women in their 30s. He claimed that the women in the 30s were easier than 20s but harder than the more mature 40 year olds. Women in their 30s can still keep their SMV high if they take care of themselves.

So by the time he hit his 40's, he had god-level game and could get the younger ones (20s).

I kind of like his method tbh. Older you get, the better quality women to fuck. Sounds like living the dream to me.

[–]watchguy450 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Love it!

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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