To incel/MGTOW lurkers: I found the way out

brahmidia · 2020-05-07T20:59:46+00:00

FYI the fact that you've gotten a decent mindset and decided to work on yourself and your own happiness is the exact reason you probably will one day have a satisfying relationship. Much like how depressed people who seek healing from their depression naturally end up meeting new people and forming meaningful friendships. It's the negative destructive mindset itself that produces negative results.

Hellion_shark · 2020-05-07T22:12:51+00:00

Glad you're out OP. When you are happy with yourself others will pick up on it. The incel atmosphere is really as damaging to its members as it is to others.

MorticiaMason · 2020-05-08T22:27:29+00:00

I don't believe in "the power of attraction" type of stuff generally but, all I wanna say is that believing that you can't have a relationship is a limiting mindset. Believe that it is possible, without expectations, and then let it go.

I was a virgin til last year at 25 y.o and didnt have my first boyfriend til that point. The first step for me was admitting to myself that I wanted that experience, believing that it could happen, and then letting go of any expectations. I was depressed so I worked on myself, and I still am, but I'm finally experiencing things that I convinced myself I couldn't have. Honestly because I was scared to admit to myself that I wanted those things, in fear of dissapointment.

Don't know if this speaks to you at all, but your words reminded me of my own experience.

You sound like someone great :] good luck on your adventures bud.

1witty_username · 2020-05-07T22:40:28+00:00

I love most of what you wrote except the fact that you’ll probably be single forever. There’s no reason at all to think that. Keep working on yourself and you’ll go far.

Em42 · 2020-05-10T23:39:49+00:00

I know this post is a few days old. But I just ended up here by accident and I figure this sub probably doesn't get a lot of women hanging around, so as a woman, I'm going to tell you something, because you're probably around the same age as my son and you shouldn't believe that you'll always be alone.

Keep being who you are, stick to those beliefs that you've laid out here so clearly and I have no doubt that someday you will find someone who likes you and wants to be with you. You'll probably even cycle through a few times before finding that person who's really special. Try not to let that make you overly unhappy, it's okay to be sad for what ended, but your first or even ninth or tenth relationship probably isn't supposed to be your last one. You're supposed to learn things along the way, about how to coexist with another person, and things about yourself that maybe you can improve upon (we can all be better people). Things that once you figure them out often mean your next relationship will be better than the last one.

The biggest obstacle to starting any relationship is risk avoidance, the people who put themselves out there over and over, but don't get beat down by getting shot down, inevitably are the most successful. If you find that you like someone (not because of how they look, no good relationship was ever based solely on appearance, but because of who they are), just try asking them out, even if you think you know it won't be successful, the worst thing that can happen is that they say no, and you graciously accept that answer.

If you aren't bitter about that no, but instead keep looking, you'll find that someone will say yes. Also practice makes perfect, and after doing it more it eventually doesn't feel bad to be shot down anymore, you just say ok and move on. Like most of life, it's a lot about having the proper mindset. Just because this time you were shot down and a girl said no, doesn't mean that you will be every time, this time is just this time.

Good luck. You sound like a very nice young man.

GolfballEnthusiast · 2020-05-08T12:59:54+00:00

So I might never have sex or anything, and guess what! I’m gonna be happy nonetheless.

Honest question, is it weird that the thought of never having sex in my life terrifies me? I've had this particular thought brewing in my head for a long time, I've never been able to understand people who just could never have sex in their life and be happy regardless.

cb3nn7 · 2020-05-26T01:40:54+00:00

You don’t have to be red pulled to self improve. Self improvement will bring you the happiness you deserve within yourself, AND make females more attracted to you.

Everybody deserves to get laid. Don’t limit yourself by saying you may never get some ass ;)

IHAVETHEHIGHGROUND_3 · 2020-05-11T16:12:30+00:00

"bro just stop being depressed" 4head

safesapacereeditwhy · 2020-05-11T09:04:00+00:00

It's as you say, you are on path to become a grown-up.

Uncertain_Learner · 2022-01-01T12:50:01+00:00

I've had the same realizations when I was 19 (20 now) and having close female friends helped me in this regard. Thanks for sharing your experiences I hope more guys will have similar realizations about women, sex, dating, and life in general.

2020-10-07T20:27:55+00:00

This

2020-09-15T02:33:13+00:00

become a successful and attractive guy, You're not entitled to sex, but you sure will get more pussy if you are that.

redditor8874 · 2020-05-07T18:39:33+00:00

Not an incel or mgtow. I agree with what you saying. But going around and saying "you're not entitled to anything" is dangerous. I agree that you're not entitled to sex from any woman you want. But a little bit of entitlement in life is neccessary to keep your value - you need to ask for things in order to get them. Yeah, you have to work for them, but you have to let people know. I work hard in my job so you bet that I am ENTITLED to get a pay for my work. If boss came to me after long day of work, saying I'm not getting paid for my work today and just told me to suck it up because "no one is entitled to anything" I would have a huge problem with that.

Sorry if I triggered you or anything, but I just wanted to point this out.

BMXTKD · 2020-05-08T00:40:53+00:00

MGTOW isn't about women, it's about YOU.

Going your own way means you really couldn't care less about relationships. If women are saying something about you, guess what? You don't care. You're too busy riding your motorcycle to work. And they're taking up your time.

You're not really MGTOW if you care about what women who are neither your friends or family members say or think about you.

She calls you an incel? Ha ha ha. You're too busy mowing your lawn to care about having sex. You'd love to have sex. But that just means you're taking time away from building something in order to have sex with a woman.

She calls you a misogynist? You're too busy working on your neighbor's grandmother's car to care about what somebody says.

She calls you gay? It says more about her character than yours.

If you're concerned about going your own way, it's not about other people. It's about you and yourself. Going your own way is a healthy reaction to when you feel dating isn't right for you. But creating a cult based on your dating choice only makes you as pathetic as those tumblrinas.

Remember, MGTOW is short for "men going THEIR OWN way". It's not "Men Gainlessly Trolling Only Women".

Deathbysugar2020 · 2020-05-08T16:22:03+00:00

You're obviously confused. You don't know MGTOW psychology.

Women are people. Just like any of us. The thing is that the way modern feminism has worked causes any type of romantic relationship with women to be potentially dangerous to you.

She can divorce you and half of your possessions will be gone, even if she contributed nothing to the marriage and didn't look for work because she didn't want to. Not to mention lifetime alimony to "maintain the standards of life during the marriage". Why should anyone pay so that the other can enjoy their lives, when she should work?

Women almost always get custody of their children, and the man has to pay child support. You're paying to raise a child you can't raise.

She can accuse you of rape or harrassment, and even with no evidence you are assumed to be a rapist in the eyes of society. Your life would have been ruined by the time you proven innocent in court, unless you're convicted of course.

Feminism has also changed the mindset of people in horrible ways. A compliment to a woman or an accident could be perceived as harrassment, and again, same old thing. The justice system and society fucks your life.

Go on YouTube. You'll see hundreds of "prank" videos of women rubbing men's crotch and getting away. If a man did the same...

Did you know that they're about to legalize domestic violence against men in the UK?

The end concept is that you should not wait for someone to "complete" you. Create a name for yourself and maintain it. Life is too precious to risk losing everything you care about because of one entitled person.

2020-05-07T19:46:07+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	To incel/MGTOW lurkers: I found the way out
Author	throwRA2829
Upvotes	330
Comments	71
Date	May 7, 2020 5:34 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/gfb4ei/to_incelmgtow_lurkers_i_found_the_way_out/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/to-incelmgtow-lurkers-i-found-the-way-out.661629 https://theredarchive.com/post/661629