I had a couple comments from my post yesterday on Instant Gratification and the video I posted on my YT channel regarding it in which people mentioned they were struggling with smoking weed. I decided today I wanted to write and do a video about my time as a stoner.

It's a long write-up but an even longer video at 45 minutes or so. Today's video is posted here if you want to get a longer, more detailed account from what I have written below. Also I am not 100% sure this is the right sub but I think a lot of you might be struggling with marijuana... so take it from me a 34 year old ex-stoner.

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The first time I smoked was when I was 14. By the time I was 15 or so I was an everyday smoker.. multiple times a day. Smoking weed in my room even. Smoking weed on the roof of my house. I basically paused my own adolescent progress. I should have been chasing girls in high school. I should have focused on the band I was in. Eventually I was 'replaced' as the singer for my band because I was too unreliable. But that didn't matter. I had weed and the comfort it gave to me.

I was 1 of 3 kids, out of 450+ who did not "walk" at graduation. A major dishonor to my parents. And yet I didn't care at the time as long as I could stay high.

Not long after high school I got arrested for selling weed. I was looking at prison having been charged with a felony. I was able to avoid prison by following the advice of my lawyer and going into a 28 day rehab program (yes, for weed) and then living in a half-way house until the court case had ended. Having not smoked for 8 months during all this time, it is like the "play button" on my real life was pushed and the natural progress I should have made was occurring. I was finally building confidence and letting my libido guide me into asking out women. And wouldn't you know it.. in the summer of 2004 I had two flings with straight-up nympho maniacs. A good thing for someone like me who had just pissed away all 4 years of high school not even kissing a girl. I got to play catch up in that regard all summer long.

But then Prop 215 passed here in California and I couldn't resist. It was easy to find a "doctor", pay them $100 and now I had a card that was not only a shield from the law (and even worked while I was on probation), but gave me access to "cannabis clubs" as we called them... the retail stores where you could shop for weed. So I immediately fell back into bad habits and everyday, all day smoking.

I even had a couple run-ins with the law again, with the cops telling me straight up, "What are you doing? You are on Probation!" and me pulling out my "can't fuck with me, card" and it totally worked. The officers left me alone. Even having been caught smoking a blunt in a car with my friend.

During all this time I fucked around in community college for years.. only finally transferring to a four year school in 2009. In that year I met a girl and fell into 'puppy love' status and it really didn't help that she was also a stoner. The amount of weed smoked and money spent had doubled.

Miraculously in 2014 a few months after that relationship ended I stumbled upon The Red Pill subreddit and the seeds of complete change were finally planted in my mind. I read the side bar, over and over again. I started seeing the "code of The Matrix" like Neo does in the movie, everywhere I went. And I finally got serious about lifting weights. But I was still smoking weed. Still spending all my times smoking and playing video games, which to me go hand-in-hand as the greatest escape possible.

The ride didn't end until I had a kid in early 2019. I simply could not bare to be in a state of stoned immaturity, foggy memory and irritability with a son in my life. I am so grateful to be a dad but also grateful that his existence is making me take this seriously.

Side note: I had part-time and full-time jobs since I was 14. And smoking weed never made me late for work. I always had the right motivation to show up on time and do a good job. I say this to say that I was a functional stoner when it came to employment. However all the money I had earned in these jobs was spent on smoking weed. I remember I even had to borrow money from a friend once to pay rent and avoid eviction. Weed was a terrible drug for me. Yes it's not heroin and I didn't find myself living on the streets but it still hurt my progress for years.

Although I am successful today I can't help but wonder if how much more successful I'd be if hadn't completely given up on doing well in high school and in college for many years.

Obviously this experience I had won't describe everyone. Some of you are great at smoking once a week or month and not having an issue in life what-so-ever. But I have a very addictive personality and I am hoping to get in touch with others who would relate to this.

Lessons Learned:

  • If you have a problem with weed don't put it off for another 15 years to finally quit. Nip that shit in the bud right now. If you think you have a problem then you definitely have a problem. You are likely hurting your progress in career and the maturing of your mind.
  • Smoking weed made me always feel like a beta. With every hit the confidence in me would be suppressed. I always got a lot less tail when smoking times v non-smoking times. But that's just me. YMMV.
  • Spending money on weed is the same as taking the money out of your wallet and lighting it on fire. You're literally smoking your earnings away and getting nothing out of it.