How do I get my husband to workout and eat healthy?

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May 12, 2020
3 upvotes

I came across a YouTube Channel called 'The Delray Misfits,' and find myself increasingly drawn to this channel, not because I have any respect for these men, their behavior is kinda gross to me, but the show revolves around men lifting weights and having locker room talk and I believe I'm so drawn to it because it's some energy that I feel like I am missing from my life because my husband does not workout.

It's easy for him to get away with it since he is very tall and has a nice physic, but I know that won't last forever.

I want him to be big and strong to protect me. Its kinda sad when I fear that another man could overpower him since he doesn't workout anymore.

Partially, i feel like this is my fault, he did all of this stuff before the marriage and now with "the stresses of life and marriage," he feels too stressed to do it.

I really overcompensate with doing work around the house, cooking most meals and I also work full time as well.

I honestly have kinda accepted that he probably won't ever do this and I'll eventually end up completely repulsed by the idea of sex (I'll be older too so I won't want him to have sex with an old hag), I just kinda feel hopeless right now. Im 26 and he's 30.

Also, he is generally unhealthy, although he looks good he eats like shit, and in return, his ejaculation is not an attractive taste to me....this is TMI but I've been with other guys who id consider healthy and it was much more enjoyable to 'swallow.' Ugh sad to say but true.

I really cannot keep pretending to be attracted to him and I know the attraction is going to fade even more in years to come...

I'm afraid I already know the answers to these questions, that he won't change. I am just looking for some glimpse of hope...:(


Post Information
Title How do I get my husband to workout and eat healthy?
Author HumectantMenace
Upvotes 3
Comments 24
Date 12 May 2020 03:18 PM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit askRPC
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/663194
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askRPC/comments/gid5r8/how_do_i_get_my_husband_to_workout_and_eat_healthy/
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Comments

[–]Deep_Strength12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

You can't change other people but you can influence them.

If you're working out then invite him.

If you're eating healthy or cooking then offer to do that for him.

Etc.

Don't nag. Don't get butthurt. Don't respond negatively but only positively. He can make his own choices, and your positive behavior should influence him over time. Negative emotions and behavior only reinforce someone not wanting to do it.

[–]IsAllThisReal7 points8 points  (12 children) | Copy

Based on your posting history I am confident you are seriously mentally ill, so before you look to change your husband, you need to deal with your own problems.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (11 children) | Copy

And if we looked at your life history and the worst parts of your life that I anonymously confide in the internet, then we'd probably come to the same conclusion about you (:

[–]IsAllThisReal9 points10 points  (10 children) | Copy

No, you wouldn't because I'm not mentally ill. You are married and pregnant, while also posting about masturbating while using a menstrual cup, complaining in a literal incel subreddit, posting about how ugly you are and how you were abused because you were so ugly. You also say you find your husband incredibly sexy... but you are also not attracted to him, and believe he only wants 'Stacys'?

Let me guess, you are on anti-psychotic meds, you have panic attacks, and you're on again, off again depressed.

You are mentally ill and need to find some form of mental stability before you can tackle the issues in your marriage.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy

Low blow dude. Going through my posts AND comments. Definitely have therapy and past trauma, but I'm sure it makes you feel great to call me out for being mentally ill.

[–]IsAllThisReal4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

If you want warm fuzzy feelings and friendly comments, go to other subs, I'm sure the simps there will tell you how great you are and how evil and horrible your husband is.

The reality is you need to change the way you think. Everyone has bad things happen to them then they are young. Everyone has had people be mean, cruel, and sadistic to them. Everyone struggles with self-esteem, body image, and self-worth, but strong people overcome these struggles and weak people let these struggle destroy them.

The Delray Misfits are literally the laughing stock of the fitness world, the weirdest freaks in the industry. Why would you look at them and see any value at all? They're the worst example of retarded meatheads on youtube.

You sound like you have many mental health issues, these are what need to be tackled before you can start addressing issues with your husband.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Only reason I started watching them is because I live in the area.

[–]RagingMayo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You username checks out, man. Props for talking that real to her. She definitely needs help.

[–]CarelessBowler51 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

I started working out when it dawned on me that my wife was hotter than I was.

That was a consequence of my lazy lifestyle. Added discipline to my phsyique, diet, work, etc.

Now things are good.

If your husband is hotter than you, then it sounds like you need to raise that SMV.

[–]redwall921 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

I started working out when it dawned on me that my wife was hotter than I was.

This begs the question ... how did you come to realize your wife was hotter than you?

[–]CarelessBowler52 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Read enough articles on AWALT. Noticed she looked at other guys in a way she didn't look at me anymore. Realized she could get sexual attention if she wanted it. I wasn't getting any from anyone, even my own wife.

She never cheated on me. Very loyal, conservative Christian woman, but sex to her was a chore back then. Now, to say it politely, things are much better.

[–]RagingMayo1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Sorry for being curious, but I am a virgin dude who wants to learn from your experience. Soo, did she get attracted sexually to you again, when you started working out and living healthy?

[–]CarelessBowler52 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

February 2019, it dawned on me that life was headed towards divorce. I found r/deadbedrooms and other blue-pill spots to comiserate with others.

Started seeing biblical counselor in Apr 2019. Honestly, not really that useful. I don't know that I would do that again if I could start over.

Early June 2019, found TRP & MRP. By the end of the month, I was tracking every calorie, working out, and practicing game.

September 2019, hired financial coach/counselor who specializes in helping Christian couples. A lot of it helped us get our act together financially, but the marriage advice didn't really fix my marriage. I was busy rambo-ing like crazy. I talked too much. In hindsight, I should have just STFU'd through this season more.

About then is when we started trying to have sex again. It was still negotiated. I had layers of covert contracts I hadn't dealt with. If I were to guess, by then I had lost all my chub-chub and started to build muscle. My weak frame kept spoiling the magic, though. One step forward, two steps back.

It wasn't until January 2019 that two things happened:

1) Traveling for work, had woman in a thong bikini basically invite herself to bed with me. I said no. Realized I regretted saying no. Raged about it on a text thread with one of the above counselors and my wife. Wife never confronted me about it. She *knew* that I was sexually attractive (cuz AWALT). To her it was (my paraphrase), "Well, duh, women want to have sex with you. I want to have sex with you. But I can't because ..."

2) Finally killed off my biggest covert contract. I wanted sex to validate my masculinity. I wanted my wife to have the same motivations for sex as I did (to validate me). But she didn't want sex to validate me. Those were my reasons. She had her own reasons for sex: She wanted to have another baby with me. I finally caved. I killed it (and I keep having to re-kill it). I had to give her the freedom to want sex for her own reasons, even if they were starkly different from the reasons I wanted sex. Over the next couple months, we got to the place where we have sex now nearly every day. Plus, it's not like it's the robotic "I'm ovulating, so I guess we *have to* do this." She jumped me the moment she finished her period this last cycle, long before ovulation. Pretty sure she's eyeing me for tonight, and I'm kinda not in the mood even.

Point is, I had to give up controlling her. It took about six months to become the kind of man basically every woman finds sexually attractive - including my wife (AWALT). Then, I needed to give her the space and freedom to have her desires for her own reasons. She wants to have my babies. Let me say that again: She wants to have *my* babies. I don't even need to game her before sex anymore (though the sex is better if I do); I can just tell her that I'll get things ready, and she meets me there.

Oh, she also went through her own transformation. She listened to a podcast from Love Honor & Vacuum that shared how wives - when they deny their husbands sex - are actually simultaneously denying themselves access to the kind of intimacy they really want in their marriage. Again, she wants things out of sex that are different from what I want. I had to come to a place where I was okay with that, even happy with that. My job is to become and remain sexually attractive - frame, mission, lifting, you know the drill.

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[–]redwall927 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

I agree 100% with u/SkimTheDross here:

Short answer is you can’t.

Anytime a guy comes into an RP sub with a question similar to yours:

  • "How do I get my wife to work out?"

  • "How do I get my wife to swallow?"

  • "How do I get my wife to clean house, lose weight, cook, dress better, wear makeup, wear lingerie, etc, etc, etc?"

Anytime a guy comes in with a controlling question he gets slaughtered ... and hopefully he walks away with 'YOU DO YOU' tattooed across his forehead from the 2x4 with which he got beat.

Sure ... there is some communication required in a relationship. Some ... hey, I like lingerie. Or hey ... how about we sort out the cleaning chores. Or hey ... I love what you did around the house or in the living room or with dinner or that outfit. Communication needs to happen at some level. But when it's the controlling type ... well ... get ready for the 2x4's.

[–]rocknrollchuck0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is a good word that effectively addresses the reason behind why the comments can sometimes feel brutal. Well said.

[–]ENTPunisher4 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy

[–]IsAllThisReal1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Based on her posts I would guess she is BPD or some other deal-breaker mental illness.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I don't get it lol

[–]ENTPunisher4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

The moral of the story is lift extra heavy so you don't end up with the woman from Ezekiel 23:20.

[–]Willow-girl4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Did someone page me? :-)

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Oh great. -______-

[–]SkimTheDross5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Short answer is you can’t.

But, YOU can eat healthy.

YOU can workout.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I do!! And im pregnant with my second. So like idk, if you are working out and healthy wouldn't you be more drawn to that?



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