I came across a YouTube Channel called 'The Delray Misfits,' and find myself increasingly drawn to this channel, not because I have any respect for these men, their behavior is kinda gross to me, but the show revolves around men lifting weights and having locker room talk and I believe I'm so drawn to it because it's some energy that I feel like I am missing from my life because my husband does not workout.
It's easy for him to get away with it since he is very tall and has a nice physic, but I know that won't last forever.
I want him to be big and strong to protect me. Its kinda sad when I fear that another man could overpower him since he doesn't workout anymore.
Partially, i feel like this is my fault, he did all of this stuff before the marriage and now with "the stresses of life and marriage," he feels too stressed to do it.
I really overcompensate with doing work around the house, cooking most meals and I also work full time as well.
I honestly have kinda accepted that he probably won't ever do this and I'll eventually end up completely repulsed by the idea of sex (I'll be older too so I won't want him to have sex with an old hag), I just kinda feel hopeless right now. Im 26 and he's 30.
Also, he is generally unhealthy, although he looks good he eats like shit, and in return, his ejaculation is not an attractive taste to me....this is TMI but I've been with other guys who id consider healthy and it was much more enjoyable to 'swallow.' Ugh sad to say but true.
I really cannot keep pretending to be attracted to him and I know the attraction is going to fade even more in years to come...
I'm afraid I already know the answers to these questions, that he won't change. I am just looking for some glimpse of hope...:(