Okay so after spending 8 years side by side with a man that couldn't care less about me, I (f28) left and have started the journey of rediscovering myself. The main issue I'm running into is that I feel like I lost a lot of good years. I feel as if I'm behind other women my age.

I'm naturally very happy and bubbly. I smile and laugh a LOT. People generally really like me, but I think I have a problem with being classy and mature. I do NOT want to have to be boring. I want to feel like myself, but... Maybe a slightly toned down version.

I grew up a tomboy and I do comedy so I'm normally cracking jokes, and I can be a bit loud (blame it on slight hearing loss from working in a concert venue for years). Not to bring race into it, but I feel I should as I know what it can look like to other people. I'm black and I think I get judged a bit harsher than my friends because of the "loud black woman" stereotype.

So I guess the long question is, how does a Leo like me maintain my fun youthful energy and general vivacity, while still being ladylike and classy. A high quality woman. Finding the balance has been so difficult for me. And I can't seem to get past it. I'm starting to talk to men in their 30s now and I don't want to scare anybody off by being annoying and immature.

Last minute info

-I'm currently in the process of losing weight. 50lbs down 50lbs to go. Woo!

-I have a job that pays well and I'm on top of my finances.

-I've been delving into Buddhism, meditation and spirituality.

-I just went back to school to get another degree.

-I can cook well and I keep a clean home.

Thanks so much ladies. This has really been a strain on my mind and a slight hit to my self confidence.