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Hello, what is the right way to deal with old-friend beta that is been around for years and starting to interject in my realtionship with his ONEitis.

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Empirismus
May 10, 2020
72 upvotes
askTRP

I got a girl, everythings just fine and stuff, we were having a great time together, she told me once, that there is a guy, who is been around for like several years and she told me that nothing with him has ever evolved, meaning that they weren't intimate with each other and stuff because as she said "There is not turning point, we are just friends", and couple of stories such as, when she got fired from job, the next day she found a bouquet of roses next to her door apartment guess from who... So the point is that she texting him, like he is her personal diary to write everyday shit, including our relationship, for instance when we quarrel - the moment I knew that she is giving him updates on her life including that part where I am presented, I was mad, I told her that this is called a personal life shouldn't be anyones business.

​

The other day we were together and all of a sudden that personal-diary appeared, and I noticed that glance, guy knew me even before we met, he knew stuff about me and her, this is awkward a bit, but I pretend that I didn't know who he is, long story short, that ends up with phrases like: "You don't know her, you don't deserve her! I know her for years and she meant for better".

​

So my question is, what is the right thing to do here, beside kicking his ass? Should I insist that she ought end up with that guy? I mean I don't give much fuck about neither of them, but situation is quite uncomfortable.

​

What would you do?


Post Information
Title Hello, what is the right way to deal with old-friend beta that is been around for years and starting to interject in my realtionship with his ONEitis.
Author Empirismus
Upvotes 72
Comments 51
Date 10 May 2020 06:52 AM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/663849
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/ggwmib/hello_what_is_the_right_way_to_deal_with/
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Comments

[–]Batman-von-Pepe140 points141 points  (18 children) | Copy

Laugh at his blue pilled ass, he's her emotional tampon. Assign him a new nickname, "dear diary" whenever it's brought up. Don't share anything you don't want out in public with a women they can't keep their mouths shut, gossip is their favorite past time.

PS don't "kick his ass" that's the most beta mate-guarding shit you can do and is extremely immature.

[–]whatnololyea22 points23 points  (4 children) | Copy

I wish u/Batman-von-Pepe was there to give me this advice when something very similar this happened to me

[–]Empirismus[S] 3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

What is your story? How it ends up?

[–]babybopp43 points44 points  (2 children) | Copy

For starters... don’t mate guard her at all. Let he keep her emo tampon. Don’t show an ounce of jealousy to what she is doing. What you can do on your part is withdraw your attention to her when she excessively talks about him. This is why abundance is important. She needs to understand that if not her there is someone else. When she spends time with him she is essentially with another dude. Go get you someone else as well. That will put an end to that once and for all. That is poison in her ear every day and he will believe me do anything for a crumb of pussy.

[–]WeAintTheSame4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lmao I think I essentially did the same thing. My girl was a part of a club and had lots of guy and girl friends, and when she was gone I ended up getting close with another girl within a week who was super into me, but I never cheated. Just the fact that i was talking to this other girl and made friends was enough to freak my girlfriend out and made her really upset. In the long run, it made her more attentive to what I want because I showed how easy it was to find another option, without cheating. I wasn’t even intentionally doing this but it proved helpful

[–]Budfox_9230 points31 points  (0 children) | Copy

" Don't share anything you don't want out in public with a women they can't keep their mouths shut, gossip is their favorite past time."

This statement also applies to guys, sometimes I think guys are worse than women when it comes to this. Not all guys of course but I'm shocked how many guys just fucking gossip like bitches.

[–]djc_tech7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Best advice I’ve read in a long time here. I’ve been with women like this, bring up objections towards their relationship with this beta orbiter you’ll be seen as weak and jealous. Withdraw affection and call this man by his nickname. Keeping your mouth shut is never a bad strategy in regards to women. Don’t ever say anything to any woman you don’t mind being released into the public. Same goes for beta guys too, they’ll gossip as well. Most woman have beta orbiters, the one I’m dating has ex boyfriends and others texting her all the time asking if she’s getting her needs met etc...she shows me the texts and responds back she is. Don’t let it bother you and keep in mind the old saying that she’s not yours it’s just your turn.

[–]SICFJC-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Right but one day she’ll fuck him

[–]AbusiveFather1-3 points-2 points  (9 children) | Copy

I have to disagree, the idiot disrespected OP, this no longer has anything to do with the girl. The dude needs a reality check asap.

[–][deleted]  (8 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]checkmarks2616 points17 points  (3 children) | Copy

The wolf does not concern itself with the thoughts of sheep.

[–]Raizzen2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Happy cake day!

[–]checkmarks260 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Cheers mate, stay safe!

[–]AbusiveFather1-2 points-1 points  (3 children) | Copy

I disagree, we're all people, and we're all men. Any man reserves the right to demand respect, in my opinion. Maybe I'm old-fashioned.

[–]ihavenoaffiliation3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Uhh, is that why your name is abusive father? Good Lord, man..

[–]dharma_anon1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Seriously, that is fuckin weird.

Demanding respect is weak as hell. That's beta shit right there.

[–]Digital-Bionics0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Spot on Alpha dude.

[–]Guarnerre199538 points39 points  (2 children) | Copy

Bro, you dont want to have your frame attacked by that weak ass beta. Those men will wait years and do years of stupid shit for that 1 minute of pussy.

Just keep doing what you do, get a good fuck. Also from your story, I wouldnt go exclusive with your girl unless she respects you and ditch this beta dog.

But IMO dont go after that guy, angry or whatever because it WILL make you look insecure.

Also like I said, dont expect anything in this situation, because youll be mostly disappointed.

Take care

[–]thesoloronin2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

An emotional tampon at this level has like the same validation magnitude of a mating with an Alpha, so I guess that’s not happening.

Ditch her OP.

[–]babybopp3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is the right advice. One thing more is that she has probably pity fucked him a couple of times to keep him lapping her bath water

[–]1HurricaneHugues12 points13 points  (6 children) | Copy

He's never a threat until he is.

Don't listen to the other dumb advice you're getting here. For one, your girl has shown that what happens between you 2, actually happens between you 3. Call him beta or whatever, say he's a bp tampon or whatever, but eventually she will fuck him on some bullshit. It'll be one day you and her have a strong disagreement and she will need some jolt of positive emotion and he will shower her with so many compliments while bad mouthing you, and it'll work.

Just having to deal with this 3rd wheel isn't what mature relationship are about. Don't commit to chicks that have male best friends. The problem is that they've known each other for a while, her parents may even know him, her friends for sure know him. At some point if she has an "argument" with you somebody will hype her up with some "You always date assholes while (bestfriend) has always been there for you, maybe you should give him a chance. Maybe what you've been looking for has been here the whole time" or some version of some sappy bullshit like that.

Final verdict: She's not LTR material. This isn't about the guy. It's about her lack of boundaries.

[–]southflsup2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Probably the best point anyone’s made so far. Definitely take this guys advice OP.

[–]Empirismus[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good point.

[–]LethalShade0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I would've used to think your comment is paranoid nonsense but the literal same thing happened to me. My ex had an orbiter from HS that was her longest male friends that were this short unattractive dude that just liked her as a friend. They reconnected and hung out a few times and she was glad that she had a good platonic male friend to talk to. Then he brought her to a bar, bought 150$ worth of alcohol, and took her to a hotel because he was "too drunk to drive" and just needed to take a nap and fucked her and left her covered in hickeys when she was supposed to meet me at my place.

One of the most disgusting experiences of my life and why I think twice before disputing any RP advice these days.

[–]1HurricaneHugues0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Did she show up to your place with hickeys? And what did she tell you?

[–]LethalShade-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'll give props to her, she told me a few hours after it happened, didn't try to hide it. We had been through our ups and downs and this pretty much sealed it even though we were kidding ourselves and trying to make it work.

She was embarrassed to show herself with hickeys but I wanted to talk it out and I'll admit I simped and tried to give her a chance for a bit after that but it was beyond done and I could never really see her the same way afterward.

[–]1HurricaneHugues0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Tried to give her a chance with all those hickeys? Yikes

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]Empirismus[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This shouldn't bother you at all. Just make sure you don't tell or show her anything too personal. She's just a plate after all, treat her as such and you wouldn't have to worry if she narrates everything to him.

Good advice here! If I am not revealing anything sensitive about myself, nothing to worry about, although, how is that a personal life and relationship if girl knows me barely better than my coworker.

[–]Digital-Bionics0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You're a Alpha, if you want to keep the beta Pussy not in his place, do it, just be sure not to apologise or justify your actions, she'll be all over you for it.

[–]Noodlesoupe26 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Idk man do you want this loser knowing personal details of your relationship? I’d wouldn’t consider her a potential ltr if she’s going behind your back with another guy even if it isn’t sexual.

[–]Endorsed ContributorNightwingTRP12 points13 points  (2 children) | Copy

Your LTR has a orbiter. And you come to here to whinge at us? This is not an alpha beta story. This is a story of a beta and an omega.

[–]Empirismus[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I am not here to chase those labels.

[–]LethalShade0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Labels are there to clearly illustrate concepts that would otherwise take a long time to understand. You obviously have much yet to learn young one.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

d she told me that nothing with him has ever evolved, meaning that they weren't intimate with each other and stuff because as she said "There is not turning point, we are just friends",

Would she say "we are just friends" with her female friends? Of course not. It's "JUST friends". Not "we are friends".

So the point is that she texting him, like he is her personal diary to write everyday shit, including our relationship, for instance when we quarrel - the moment I knew that she is giving him updates on her life including that part where I am presented, I was mad, I told her that this is called a personal life shouldn't be anyones business.

Yeah, but women gossip.

Actually this guy sounds like her girlfriend, a weak beta emotional tampon.

You don't know her, you don't deserve her! I know her for years and she meant for better".

This is because she shares all the bad, and never the good. So of course he hates you. And he wants her, and she knows it, so she only presents the bad.

But it is a betrayal, understand that much.

I mean I don't give much fuck about neither of them, but situation is quite uncomfortable.

Behave like plate, treat like plate.

[–]LethalShade0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Which part is a betrayal to you? I got the same thing you did, he is basically her girlfriend that she vents to. Is it a betrayal because she shares her troubles with a man or because she vents negatively about her relationship in general?

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Because she's talking about him negatively behind his back

[–]mrrooftops1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She fully knows the score yet still keeps him around. If you don't like him around, you don't like her by proxy. I know girls like this (I am not the beta, natch) and when they find an alpha they SHUT THEIR ORBITERS DOWN. Up your game or go.

[–]jsphere2561 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The right thing to do is reprimand her for being so manipulative. For YEARS? Now that's just cruel.

I think the guy has suffered enough, no reason to punish him any other way than humiliation. Start looking for a new girl, dude

[–]TheChinkLord1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just beat his ass and then hang him up on a tree. Don’t forget the Christmas lights! Happy holidays!

[–]IXseed3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

It's none of your concern. Be more concerned about why you're getting thrown off center by some dude that ISN'T fucking your girl.

[–]babybopp3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is not good advice. She is investing her time with him and he essentially is her plate that she knows she can get to do anything for that once a year pity fuck she probably gives him.

[–]LethalShade1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're overestimating the amount of attention an average male orbiter dude needs to stay invested in a girl. It's way less than a pity fuck once a year.

More like a "You know you're a great friend right and I'm really thankful you're always here for me Tom" every couple of years.

[–]dutchgguy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck her harder

[–]LethalShade0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Are you under 18? You better be around 15 to even consider kicking a random irrelevant dudes ass, if you're over 18, you need to revaluate your whole life.

You're considering putting your freedom and future at risk to physically assault what she essentially considers to be an asexual emotional tampon.

[–]Free_Push0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You're giving this dude wayyyy too much power. Kicking his ass makes you look weak.

Normally, I'd say that you shouldn't worry about this beta fuck for a second, but anytime I hear "he's just a friend" that tells me there is some mutual interest.

If it were me (assuming this is a real LTR and not just some plate), I'd CALMLY, in a RELAXED manner, say "look, you giving this dude a second of your time is disrespectful to me. You can talk to him all you want, but if you keep doing it, you're not going to have a boyfriend anymore."

[–]AbusiveFather1-4 points-3 points  (4 children) | Copy

Kick his ass

Edit: some random guy you don't know talks to you like he knows you and tells you what you do and don't deserve? Drop him bro, please, for the love of God, drop him.
If that leads to the girl leaving then who the fuck cares, respect yourself

[–]mrrooftops2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is the most simp beta comment in here. She'll think you are wrapped around her little finger if you do this.

[–]ShittySoftwar31 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yep, shows she controls you and your emotions

[–]LethalShade0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Hell yeah dude, physically assault someone because he dared talk to you negatively. Break his legs too while you're at it, how dare an omega open his mouth in the general direction of an Alpha Commander?

[–]AbusiveFather10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You don't get it. Fuck all this alpha nonsense - were just men



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