Guy at my LTRs job is trying fuck her

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May 13, 2020
65 upvotes

My LTR of 18 months called me this morning saying she feels guilty. A guy she works with has been flirting with her. She said, she felt bad because she didn’t completely negate his sexual behavior and briefly entertained the idea at the time. She has brought him up to me before and she considered him to be one of the few people at work that she could be friendly with, since the place is loaded with overweight, snarky Karen’s. I asked her if she did anything with him and she said no, which I do believe right now.

She’s been working at this place for about 3 months and she told me about the guy from the beginning. I sensed it would come to this at some point. I laughed it off and told her “oh that must be your work husband.” She also told me he’s kinda fat and that I’m much better looking. If he’s working as a nurse, I also know I’m more financially stable than him. The guy does know about me and yet he continues to pursue my girl.

This man has an LTR and a child which he lives with. He told her that his girlfriend would be cool with it if they had a thing on the side and that his gf is also bisexual. I don’t know how she responded to him because I didn’t take it too seriously when she brought it up. When she told me about it, I said “I appreciate your honesty and I’m not gonna hold it against you.” “Is this guy texting you?” She said; “no he doesn’t have my number.” Then I said, “I’ve seen the type of guys that hit on you and I’m not worried about any of them lol.” She laughed and got slightly offended. My LTR is definitely the type to crave male attention from what I can see and I’m sure she was flattered by the fact that this guy pushed up on her.

My question is, am I going to have to demote this girl to a plate eventually? Is this a major red flag? What’s the likelihood she ends up fucking this dude? Do I have to go down to her job and fight this dude?

I’ve been way too available to this woman for the past 4-5 months. Taking every phone call on her break and spending all my free time with her. Should I start ignoring her calls and distancing myself from her more? I just setup some dating apps and I’m beginning to cultivate new leads on girls. Am I overreacting to this whole thing? What do you guys think I should do?


Post Information
Title Guy at my LTRs job is trying fuck her
Author drsherbert
Upvotes 65
Comments 138
Date 13 May 2020 11:18 PM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/664476
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/gjaaga/guy_at_my_ltrs_job_is_trying_fuck_her/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
long term relationshipplate
Comments

[–]TRPCops[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children) | Copy

See this comment:

https://www.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/gjaaga/guy_at_my_ltrs_job_is_trying_fuck_her/fql0f04

The absurd amount of "she's fucking him right now bro, hard next and kill her dog" that plagues asktrp is getting annoying.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev146 points147 points  (5 children) | Copy

First, stop letting your insecurity drive the bus.

Second, only go down to her work and beat the shit out of the guy if you definitely want her to fuck him.

Third, ask if the guys girlfriend is hot, and maybe you guys could trade up one night. That will put her on the defensive and make her a bit jealous. Also make sure to come off like your totally kidding except half not.

Fourth, if you were spinning three plates none of this would matter.

[–]LethalShade36 points37 points  (2 children) | Copy

His girl literally told him that she entertained the thought of fucking him and she's been talking about him ever since she started working with him, his relationship is done. I'd take Vasiliy's advice and at least fuck the other guy's girl if she's attractive, or have an orgy and at least get a cool experience out of it.

And never beat up anyone under any circumstance if you're over the age of 15, we're in 2020 now. That's a way of the past. You will get beaten up, get an assault charge/get arrested, or die. There are no positive than can come out of it.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev20 points21 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'd take Vasiliy's advice and at least fuck the other guy's girl if she's attractive, or have an orgy and at least get a cool experience out of it.

Hmm. Maybe the LTR has a sister or a hot mom? I'm not sure I'd leave that on the table on my way out the door.

[–]Nastynatee8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lol you're a fuckin animal bro

[–]1HurricaneHugues64 points65 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bitch has only been working there for 3 months and she can't even act respectable with a fat coworker who makes less money than OP. He's been on her radar from the start too. Give me a break man. OP doesn't need this bullshit in his life. Girl is just not LTR material.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This 100%

[–]skyrunner22102 points103 points  (9 children) | Copy

But wait! Theres more!

There is always more. If she dropped this on you for no reason and vomit all this crap, something must of went down. You dont have the whole story yet. Trickle Truth.

[–]TheDeadlyZebra39 points40 points  (2 children) | Copy

briefly entertained the idea

Which is when she began entertaining his cock

[–]69odin4208 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

most likely, if shes hot, otherwise shes trying to make you jealous because it might make you forget that shes ugly

[–]babybopp1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That girl has already raw dogged that dude. That confession is her way of easing her guilt

[–]TheBlockedUser23 points24 points  (1 child) | Copy

"Trickle Truth"

Most definitely. She is also trying to create dread but at the same time, trying to blame shift her inability to create boundaries.

[–]CasaDeFranco1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She should be talking to HR or putting this cunt in line. But she's not, she's instilling dread on OP and naturally, it's working.

It's best for them to part ways.

[–]drsherbert[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

How does one go about getting more trickle truth? Should I go along like everything’s cool and let her guilt eat her up inside until she slowly spills the beans or is there a better way to get her to let loose?

[–]skyrunner221 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

This is where you spider senses need to always be on alert, watch for changes in behavior, a name pops up more than usual, etc. That will always give you a heads up.

For me, "play a fool to catch a fool" has always worked (this is how i operate from jump as this also works to get the mask off and find out hoe fax info). The topic should come up organically, women talk, preferably in person, over the phone can work as well. Play a fool and have them repeat story, ask dumb questions so they repeat multiple times. If you are good this comes up a week, a month later, if you are not getting the truth, there will be cracks.

Women tend to be much better than men when it comes to this type of stuff, they can cry on demand and play with your heartstrings, dig deep to find the simp in you. You got to be precise when you bring charges, buts thats only if you need to know 100%, usually by your in your discovery phase you know if you need to plan your exit or not.

[–]drsherbert[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Say I start simpin to get some deeper truth, wouldn’t I just be preempting some shit to happen, whether it already did or not, by acting that way?

[–]skyrunner220 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I didnt say anything about simpin. I would only recommend that if you want to become unattractive in her eyes so she can leave you.

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet35 points36 points  (2 children) | Copy

Is this a major red flag?

It's not a red flag. Women like attention, period. It's what they crave after. They need attention and validation only slightly less urgently than they need air.

Instead, this is a yellow flag. It's a signal of caution to you, that you need to step up your casual dread.

I’ve been way too available to this woman for the past 4-5 months. Taking every phone call on her break and spending all my free time with her. Should I start ignoring her calls and distancing myself from her more? I just setup some dating apps and I’m beginning to cultivate new leads on girls.

This is the correct approach.

You cannot give your woman an ultimatum. Doing so reeks of insecurity, and it will verify that you are weak.

Instead, you must bargain from a position of strength. Live with independence and dignity, and show your woman that if she fucks up, she is easily replaced.

Be just a little less available. Show just a little less interest in her. Disappear without explanation for periods of time, and let her believe that you are playing the field and receiving solicitations from other women. If she is invested in you, she will worry that she is losing you, and she will re-double her efforts to prove her trustworthiness (i.e. by shutting down work guy). If she's not invested in you, then you're saving time and ridding yourself of a bad investment. Either way, you win.

A woman who is truly committed to you will mate-guard herself and shut down the advances of men. You only need to get involved if he lays hands on her or poses a similar physical threat.

[–]1ANGRY_ATHEIST4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Jesus, where did all the endorsed contributors go around here.

"Some guy winked at my girl" -- "Oh yeah dude she's totally fucking him hard next bro"

/u/HumanSockPuppet here's advice is good, but it's pretty much run of the mill "you should be following this advice regardless of your situation" type stuff. In my experience, if a woman is cheating on you, she will not mention the guy. Trickle truth and lies will only come out if she gets busted.

This is probably a few things. She wants to humblebrag about how attractive she is, and she wants to see how you react to the news (shit test). If she was actually fucking this guy you would have never heard of him unless he was already in your social circle.

[–]TheMistakesWeMake8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nah man, they trickle truth this crap to ease their own dissonance. There's far more to this than she's letting on if what OP has stated is verbatim. She feels bad about something and is laying the foundation for deferring responsibility for it.

If she mentions him frequently, but in a negative/dismissive way, she's trying convince herself of something by convincing OP. You don't talk about someone you don't care about. Actions not words etc. etc.

[–]beholdthemaverick17 points18 points  (1 child) | Copy

When there is doubt. There is no doubt.

What drove you to post here isn’t just the fact that she’s talking to you about this guy (probably trickle truthing too), it’s that you’re wondering if she’s doing anything in the first place.

The reason you’re wondering, is because the way she has acted over time has given you the impression that she may or may not be 100% loyal to you.

OP, I’m not gonna say she’s definitely doing anything. But if you’re feeling doubt about the congruence of her words to her actions, that’s for a reason.

That’s your cuck defense check engine light blinking my guy

[–]drsherbert[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She hasn’t been incongruent in any meaningful way with me so far. She’s not smart enough to completely shield her emotions from me. I think she’s trying to make me jealous and perhaps seeking my approval to fuck this guy. She knows I have other women pursuing me. I could have a bitch up the road sucking my dick at a moments notice and she knows that. I think she wanted to give me a taste of my own medicine. I invested my time in my LTR because she was the prettiest and best in bed. Plus, she’s on the pill so I can go raw dog with her.

[–]TheGirlGetter9000115 points116 points  (22 children) | Copy

Man, if your girl is attractive at all, this kind of thing happens all the fucking time. Literally all the time.

In the past week alone, I went to make a purchase with my LTR. Because she didn't want to meet up one-on-one with a random guy from the internet. Know what happened? After she bought shit from him, he spammed her phone with messages asking if I was her BF, if she was interested, if she wanted to add him on social media, blah, blah, blah. And I was there and she said maybe two words to this man. I handled the transaction. And that was one of two times THIS WEEK something like that happened.

You're looking at this wrong. If you're with an attractive girl, THIS HAPPENS ALL THE TIME. Get used to it or start dating uggos. Stop fearing the competition--be above it. If you're with a hot girl, you should ALREADY be above most of the competition. It shouldn't matter. Treat yourself like you're #1.

There will be rare instances where you need to put a guy in his place. I've had to a couple times myself. But by and large, most of these scenarios you don't need to concern yourself with.

[–]LethalShade49 points50 points  (5 children) | Copy

Are you guys all missing the part where his girl not only mentioned this guy from day 1 she started working with him but LITERALLY admitted to entertaining the thought of fucking him? Homeboy's relationship is over and is all downhill from there, usually, RP is on point with this stuff.

Have you guys been watching too much Netflix, is the Notebook being advertised more than usual?

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (2 children) | Copy

She's fucking him. This same story played out verbatim with a buddy of mine. "Just talking to a guy at work" and they were fucking the whole time.

If she gets knocked up demand a paternity test

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev30 points31 points  (0 children) | Copy

If she gets knocked up demand a paternity test

This should be standard operating procedure.

[–]antariusz13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

classic trickle truth. She tells you she is talking to him because her hoe friends at work have seen her flirting with him. If she got caught fucking in the break room she would say she made a mistake and only kissed him.

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten-2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy

You fags are paranoid.

Reading into posts is for the relationship advice subs

[–]1DonaldBaelish-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I second that.

[–]CrackDaMarco24 points25 points  (13 children) | Copy

There will be rare instances where you need to put a guy in his place. I've had to a couple times myself. But by and large, most of these scenarios you don't need to concern yourself with

OP, if a man touches your woman without her permission in a promiscuous way, this is one of those times. Especially in your presence. Doesn't mean fuck him up necessarily, but put him in his place.

[–]beginner_23 points24 points  (12 children) | Copy

Wrong, your woman should put him in his place.

[–]send_it_for_the_boys8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

If a dude randomly walks up to my girl and grabs her ass I’m walkin up and grabbing his ass. And when he gets mad and says what the fuck I’m gonna wink and smirk st him and softly say you don’t like that much do you?

[–]CrackDaMarco13 points14 points  (7 children) | Copy

Yeah, if she's also carrying your balls in her purse. Of course some women are better at asserting themselves than others, but I've had it happen to me where I was out with my then partner at a club with friends. She was talking to a couple of new people with some of our friend group, and one of the dudes in the new group started copping a feel of her ass discreetly while I was stood right beside her (obviously unaware that she was with anyone), and he didn't think anyone would notice - she assumed it was me at first as my hand was pretty much married to her ass on a daily basis, until I put the little creepy prick in his place.

[–]Black_Jesup6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

I put the little creepy prick in his place

Howso?

[–]idevastate1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

What did you do?

[–]beginner_1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I accept that in your very specific scenario it makes sense that you react because she obviously can't of she thinks you are "groping" her.

My reply was more to the more common scenario when the guy is flirting and being touchy to her. Which is very different scenario than some creep groping around at a club.

[–]LethalShade-2 points-1 points  (3 children) | Copy

If someone did that to my girl I would grab him by the throat, just gently enough that it wouldn't count as assault.

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]LethalShade0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Who would charge you for that and what is he gonna say? "Your honor, he grabbed me so violently and I felt my life being threatened?" whereas if you attack him and he can provide photographic evidence of injuries, you're more than fucked.

[–]TheBlockedUser7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

Only if the other guy acts flirtatious and showers her with attention.

This commenter is talking about forced touch/sexual assault. Then you will HAVE to act.

[–]party_dragon3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

No, unless she's in actual physical danger, much better if she acts. She slaps the guy - she's gonna have 10 white knights immediately around her defending her. You slap the guy - you might be going down or having the police called on you.

[–]TheBlockedUser0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Females tense up in such situations, you can't expect them to stand up for themselves.

And it's faggot of you to rely on white knights to defend your bitch.

And no, you will not be going to jail because you were protecting a female from sexual assault. Multiple people at the bar will attest to that.

[–]party_dragon5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

THe problem isn't someone hitting on your girl - you can't control that (and neither can she). The problem is your girl's reaction - does she immediately cut him off, nip the approach in the bud, or "entertain fucking him". She can control that, as can you - by nexting her.

[–]Fabulous-Craft1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Apples to oranges.

Your scenario is a rando thirsty guy, which already disqualifies him as attractive, who she interacted with for 2 minutes.

OP's scenario is a guy she "mentioned day one", who she maintains a close emotional connection with at work, and spends a ton of time with. Not to mention she admits to not shutting him down.

[–]ay-fuh-q59 points60 points  (8 children) | Copy

My LTR of 18 months called me this morning saying she feels guilty. A guy she works with has been flirting with her. She said, she felt bad because she didn’t completely negate his sexual behavior and briefly entertained the idea at the time. She has brought him up to me before and she considered him to be one of the few people at work that she could be friendly with, since the place is loaded with overweight, snarky Karen’s. I asked her if she did anything with him and she said no, which I do believe right now.

If she isn't shutting him down, but is telling you, it's to set up plausible deniability and trickle truth.

She’s been working at this place for about 3 months and she told me about the guy from the beginning. I sensed it would come to this at some point. I laughed it off and told her “oh that must be your work husband.” She also told me he’s kinda fat and that I’m much better looking. If he’s working as a nurse, I also know I’m more financially stable than him. The guy does know about me and yet he continues to pursue my girl.

Talking about some new guy for 3 months? Yeah. Slurping up the cum.

This man has an LTR and a child which he lives with. He told her that his girlfriend would be cool with it if they had a thing on the side and that his gf is also bisexual. I don’t know how she responded to him because I didn’t take it too seriously when she brought it up. When she told me about it, I said “I appreciate your honesty and I’m not gonna hold it against you.” “Is this guy texting you?” She said; “no he doesn’t have my number.” Then I said, “I’ve seen the type of guys that hit on you and I’m not worried about any of them lol.” She laughed and got slightly offended. My LTR is definitely the type to crave male attention from what I can see and I’m sure she was flattered by the fact that this guy pushed up on her.

You know so much about this guy already, because she's focused on him and sharing the info.

My question is, am I going to have to demote this girl to a plate eventually? Is this a major red flag? What’s the likelihood she ends up fucking this dude? Do I have to go down to her job and fight this dude?

Fighting him will only show you to be the pussy. SHE has to shut him down. She isn't. Wonder why....

I’ve been way too available to this woman for the past 4-5 months. Taking every phone call on her break and spending all my free time with her. Should I start ignoring her calls and distancing myself from her more? I just setup some dating apps and I’m beginning to cultivate new leads on girls. Am I overreacting to this whole thing? What do you guys think I should do?

Where there's smoke, there's fire.

[–][deleted] 55 points56 points  (5 children) | Copy

All the other examples in this thread are absolutely beta trash.

given by what OP said I'd assume he has already fingered your girlfriend.

jesus Christ, she entertained his flirting?!? what kind of cuck are you

[–]-DeadLock34 points35 points  (3 children) | Copy

It honestly sounds like shes covertly asking if she can fuck him "well... he said his girlfriend is okay with it.." umm

[–]beginner_24 points25 points  (0 children) | Copy

exactly. The fact she talks about this at all is a red flag. I don't care about your work drama. don't waste my time with that BS.

[–]TheBlockedUser13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

Attaching on the "he's fat" remark seems to be a ploy to placate OP's feelings and shift blame from her inability to set boundaries.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

definitely

[–]LethalShade21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy

What the fuck is up with this thread? Is The Notebook going on an advertising campaign on Netflix this week? Usually RP is on point with this, dude not only did she LITERALLY say she thought about fucking up but she's been talking about him since she started working with him. OP's relationship is not only done but it's BEEN done for months.

My apologies, the part of the relationship where he had frame and his girl found him attractive is done. Please proceed to keep this relationship going for a few more years if begging for sex is your thing.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]ay-fuh-q2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly. It's all too evident to outsiders looking in. OP's girl has been talking about this guy since she started there. That's a lot of energy to focus on a guy that doesn't matter.... so he clearly does.

[–]spedoid77 points78 points  (23 children) | Copy

I would say you have three possible options. Rookie, intermediate, and advanced. Which option you choose is strictly up to your level of confidence.

Rookie: pick her up from work and when you see the guy, just give him a stare. Say nothing. Give him a handshake and crush his hand during the handshake. Say "is this the fat faggot you were telling me about?" This path is a little insecure but if fatty is a pussy he will fuck off

Intermediate: Go thru her phone next time you see her. Search all apps, search her texts with keywords, social media. See if there's any communication between them. If there is, hard next the bitch.

Advanced: Tell her you don't care. Ignore the issue completely. Work on yourself, lift, talk to other girls. Make friends with other girls. Don't tell her about them but let her see that the cashier at the store finds you attractive. Subconsciously it will fuck with her big time. If she is chasing your validation she won't give a fuck about her faggy coworker. Flirting is fun and females love attention. If you're giving her too much attention it won't mean anything to her and she will seek it thru other sources. Dread game is goat. If she is jealous of other girls than she will be nervous and trying to please you.

What do you think?

[–][deleted]  (5 children) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]Ill_mumble_that46 points47 points  (3 children) | Copy

Small regular doses my friend.

Gotta be like a drug dealer with your attention to her.

  • Too much attention, she ODs and kills the relationship.

  • Too long of periods without any attention, she might find another dealer.

  • Regular small doses? Yeah you got her hooked. She will pay whatever you want to get her regular fix, and always want more.

She will keep coming back, keep craving that big hit, but you never give her the big hit. This means she is ALWAYS craving it.

/u/spedoid's final strategy is to make your drug the best shit on the streets and make sure she isn't your only client. When you have an abundance of clients, you get social proof, but more importantly you can afford to fire a problematic customer.

[–]spedoid14 points15 points  (2 children) | Copy

Everything you said is spot on. I would avoid being totally regular with your attention. Like even if you only see her once a week, switch up the date. Sometimes being unavailable is good. I would avoid falling into a routine. Women get bored way faster than guys do, so what seems like a chill schedual can make a girl feel bored as fuck. Definitely gotta find the right balance of attention giving and personal independence. The most important thing is that you are always growing and Improving as a man so she doesn't get complacent. You should be the prize she is working towards getting

[–]Ill_mumble_that27 points28 points  (1 child) | Copy

1 thing I should mention is mystery.

Regular small doses, but let her hamster fill the blanks between when she sees you.

Keeping her in the dark with vague details about your personal life will make her hamster come up with wild thoughts about what you are doing when she isn't with you. This is to your advantage.

There are lots of ways to make her hamster spin.

  • Let her talk about herself, be a good listener.

  • If you are a chatterbox that loves to talk, that is fine but for the sake of your dick talk about anything besides yourself.
    When you do talk about yourself, keep it short and open ended.

  • Playfully flirting with women infront of her.

  • Don't be available when she calls or texts. Get back the same day but on your own time frame. Also, keep texts and stuff short and concise.

  • Be interesting. If all you do is play video games and watch TV, it will show. Juxtapose your shit up. Show up with a greasy shirt because you were working on a car and didn't have time to clean up for her. Memorize an extravagant recipe and cook a 5 star dinner, not for her, but just because you enjoy good food and you can. Read philosophy and be amazed at her inability to understand or keep up with any of it.

These are examples, not a guide.

Do shit, all kinds of shit. Don't tell her your life story. Let her hamster fill in the blanks.

Even if you are the most interesting man in the world your life story is shitty compared to life her hamster imagines you have.

Let her hamster fill in the blanks. She likes it better that way. She doesn't care about you, only how you make her feel. You're just a drug dealer for her emotions. AWALT

[–]ASTRA-LUX2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Upvoted

[–]TacoMedic7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think this is true with just about everything tbh.

Asshole at work never says sorry.

Asshole at work says sorry too much so it doesn't mean anything anymore.

Both at bad.

[–]AlpacaStrap21 points22 points  (3 children) | Copy

Good lord. All this shit just because of what a woman thinks.

You motherfuckers are some phonies. Talking about staying in your own frame, then LIVING based off a woman thinks.

If she wants to cheat on OP, she is no longer worthy of HIS respect or time. But she does, you know why? Because this bitch is his life and she fucking knows it. She doesn’t give a fuck about his respect because it’s so low value she doesn’t need it.

You motherfuckers wonder why you get cheated on so often, well this is why. You make these bitches your everything and they smell that shit a mile away.

The less you need these bitches the more they need you.

If you were truly on your purpose, shit like this wouldn’t even cross your mind twice.

[–]spedoid6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Hey hardo: the first two options are the bluepilled behaviors that reek of insucurity. The third option is the one he should go with. That's the point.

[–]AlpacaStrap2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

And you’re still deep inside her frame. But you can’t even process that or register why that’s wrong, because it’s all about what SHE thinks

As long as you’ve fooled her, all is fine and dandy isn’t it

[–]ASTRA-LUX2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

He’s right, you know ☝🏻

[–]thesoloronin8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dread game is goat. If she is jealous of other girls than she will be nervous and trying to please you.

Competition Anxiety is genuinely advanced skill. It's an either be-all or end-all strategy. Solid advice here OP.

[–]f_ck_kale7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

You cant be serious, how many times have you been knocked out trying that rookie option?

[–]TheBlockedUser6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think he was joking with the "rookie" advice.

[–]ReasonablyGoodMexica2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Tip: if you do go for the phone, pay special attention to her friends messages. Side dick messages are a no brainer and are usually sanitized, friends chats, on the other hand, are usually not and women will tell their friends everything.

[–]ViolentInteger9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

My LTR is definitely the type to crave male attention

These are the types of women you do not promote to LTR status. Your vetting process should have picked up on this while she was in FWB territory and permanently disqualified her from further promotion.

What’s the likelihood she ends up fucking this dude?

Doesn't matter. What matters is that it's just a matter of time. Eventually the right guy is going to hit on her at the grocery store, and she'll be putty in his hands.

What do you guys think I should do?

Immediately demote her to FWB status. Then spend time reflecting on how you made such a mistake in the first place.

[–]thesatellite2351 points52 points  (6 children) | Copy

Set up a swingers date with you and her, plus her new boyfriend and his LTR. Except you could swing from her to her new boyfriend.

Seriously though, you sound overly concerned. She's trying to make you jealous. Just ignore. If you ever do find out that anything happens between them, drop her like a hit potato.

[–]drsherbert[S] 39 points40 points  (1 child) | Copy

I actually jokingly asked what his girl looks like lol

[–]TheBlockedUser8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

That was an amazing ask.

[–]downvotesanimals30 points31 points  (2 children) | Copy

Not sure I agree. If OP's LTR is hot she must get hit on constantly. Her telling him about it this time may well be based in guilt or she's trickle truthing because she's having thoughts about it.

Still, hard to say.

[–]69odin4201 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

i agree. totally depends on how hot this chick is. If shes really hot then she probably cheated on you, otherwise she wouldn't feel the need to even bring it up because guys acting that way towards her would be pretty much a daily occurrence.

[–]LethalShade1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Usually the responses are much harsher. Not only has she been telling him about this guy from day one but she literally admitted to entertaining fucking him???????????

OP step the fuck up although I predict your relationship is already done. Not done as it's over but like it's all downhill from there, you've already enjoyed the best time and she has already started losing respect for you and will continue to do so the more of this nonsense you take.

And this is coming from someone who thinks RP advice is usually too harsh but as someone who's been in a relationship and refused to listen to the advice, good luck, you'll need it brother.

[–]AlpacaStrap4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

“Ohh some dude at work is flirting with my girlfriend!”

Females play these mind games. This stupid shit shouldn’t even affect you or cross your mind twice. If she cheats her loss.

But oh that’s right, your girl is all you got. That’s why you going on reddit making posts about the bitch instead of using your time on your purpose.

The lot of you motherfuckers are phonies. No sense of purpose that’s why you give a shit about these females coming and going to the point of writing paragraphs on an internet forum. Because these females are how you define yourself. You use these bitches to fill your void from your lack of purpose, so you’re dependent on keeping them.

Centering your entire life around these females, literally LIVING in their frame. Rationalizing it as “love” or some bullshit.

Make your purpose your main bitch. These bitches come and go. You shouldn’t ever give a fuck to the point of worrying like this over some dumb ass mind game. if you do you got it ass backwards.

[–]CrackDaMarco9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

Well, for a start... He has nothing to lose apparently and obviously doesn't give a fuck. It's good that she was honest with you, and others saying it's to make you jealous might also be right, but how you personally handle that is what ultimately defines you.

Don't go and fight this dude. That's first and foremost. You don't need to beat on your chest like a fucking silverback. Just be aware that if you value this girl, and others do, you're still essentially competing in the sexual marketplace. There will always be challengers. So, it's up to you to be the best you can be - for yourself. Any feelings of jealousy or anxiety you get about this will act like a poison spreading within you, if you allow it. The best you can do when you feel anything close to those feelings is take them and use them as fuel for something productive; working out, going for a run, learning something new, playing an instrument or anything you can think of that will focus your mind elsewhere, and be worthwhile for you and your future. This may take discipline.

Remember: Your validation shouldn't depend on others, it should be dependent on your own internal self. If she cheats, accept it's happened, and then move on (However you choose to. I'd personally dump her, and then work on myself more for a while, then spin plates). If she doesn't, then cool. Either way, why worry about it? It's just your turn. Life goes on. Live it curiously, playfully, and with a sense of adventure, not in fear or timidity. This requires a stoic outlook, and a healthy sense of self. All of which can be achieved.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's good that she was honest with you

A big assumption.

[–]TheBlockedUser0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"and others saying it's to make you jealous might also be right, but"

It definitely is. Females use this common tactic to create dread. Her adding the phrase - "He is fat" - could be a lying mechanism to shift blame from herself and her inability set boundaries.

[–]throwawayandtossout8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

Hmm, she feels bad, but didn't do anything wrong. Got it.

[–]omega_dawg938 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

2 things women will not admit to their man:

  1. how many cocks they've serviced.
  2. how often guys hit on them.

forget ever knowing the truth about #1... just forget that and trust me, you don't want to know the true number.

but if your woman is HONEST, she'll admit that she gets hit on constantly... bc that's just how it is for women. all the alpha males, simps, friends, and orbiters hit on them if they're just average attractive. if she's really attractive, this is REALLY true for her.

women love attention... they crave it like you crave pussy. this guy felt he had a chance bc even though she says she didn't give him pussy, she truly is (or has) given him HOPE.

here's when she will cheat: when he gives up on the hope and withdraws his attention, she will either let it go or do something (fuck or suck) to get his attention back.

[–]takewhatsyoursin20170 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Omg spot on

[–]FrickOffAHS8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

If she’s the type to crave male attention you should keep your options open because that’s a red flag

Otherwise not a big deal though, just another shit test

[–]Tambamwham14 points15 points  (2 children) | Copy

First of all bud. How do you think they got to that point? You think they went from zero to “hey my gf is cool if we fuck... she might even join.” There is a metric fuck ton that you don’t know and she’s crossed plenty of lines with him behind your back.

This how I would handle it. Keep your mouth shut. When she gets home, tell her to hand over her phone. Fonelab is a good program for recovering deleted texts. A google search will show you how to recover data from apps. If she says no then show her the door. As for the guy... I’d tell my gf that she needs to let his gf know. Right now. And tomorrow we will be going to report him to HR together. If she says no to any of this. Once again.. wish her luck and show her the door.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

You think they went from zero to “hey my gf is cool if we fuck... she might even join.”

I don’t know, I could get there pretty quick. But FTR I’m not trying to bang the OP’s girlfriend

[–]Tambamwham3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’m talking about her. She made herself available as this moved up level by level of their “friendship.”

[–]boy_named_su5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

A good girl tells him "I have a boyfriend. Leave me alone". She would call HR when he persisted. She doesn't even mention it to you

Your gf "feels guilty" and let him flirt with her. She didn't shut down his sexual behavior. She brought him up. She wants to be "friends" with him

You're not fucked yet, but you're pretty close. Time for Judge Dread

[–]E9er4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

idk man... happily ever after seem possible but i’m cynical and believer; she’s not yours it’s just your turn.

benefit of the doubt she’s loyal and it ends there’s plenty girls turn down advances.

but this guy already has an eye for your girl. clearly she is not bothered by it. she’s guilty it’s happening not that it happened to her. she could have shut it down instantly but she gave in. HE knows this he wanted his foot in the door he got it he may have the door shut on him now. but he’s there baybe. just waiting.

THE real question is: how long can she hold off???? that there is the real answer to your question. get that answer and you have your answer.

and you and me both know game knows game and when you got a target.

cut off some time with her and make the available time meaningful she probably has too much access to you and is bored you got what you wanted so you try less everyday except feelings grow one or the other has to go.

[–]ev3rynightfireworks5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

|She also told me he’s kinda fat and that I’m much better looking

All I know is that this is not a good sign. She's feelin him my man, if shit hasn't gone down already. Not so much for the techniques here but why didnt you ask her why are you entertaining this.

Just ask her, has it not crossed your mind to just say thats inappropriate, I have a bf?

[–]lolomotif123 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

  1. She has openly admitted she entertains the idea of him wanting to fuck her.
  2. She admitted she would fuck him because he is the best looking man at the work place.
  3. You have already asked her if she has cheated on you, you are now in her frame big time.
  4. She is doing nothing to stop this.

Sorry to break it to you but she is definitely not LTR material. I personally would next such woman or demoted to a plate at best.

[–]SeasonedRP3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Despite what some others who should know better are saying, it's a major red flag, and you need to be lining up other options now if you don't have any. Their conversations are too detailed, too personal, for her not to be an equal and willing participant in them. Has she done anything with him? Who knows, but a woman who has these kind of intimate discussions with a guy at work isn't LTR material. She's done more than "briefly entertain" the idea.

[–]drsherbert[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I agree, but why did she tell me about it? Wouldn’t she at some point have said nothing at all about the guy if she was trying to keep it secret? Is it her guilt? Does she want my approval? Wtf is this broad thinking? I know I wouldn’t have said shit if I was either planning to or already fucked another woman.

[–]Bone_Coat2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’ve been way too available to this woman for the past 4-5 months. Taking every phone call on her break and spending all my free time with her. Should I start ignoring her calls and distancing myself from her more?

I would say: yes, start ignoring her calls a little, spend time by yourself. follow the golden ratio: if your girl gives you 3, you give her 2 (your girl must love you, more than you love her)

sorry if context is hard to grasp, English is my second language.

edit: from another post- the Golden 1:3/2:3 ratio where you give a woman 1-2 things/actions for every 3 things/actions of her own.

[–]alfred3112 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You cant plate a gf, hard next her. Remember that it's just your turn, who knows if the fat guy already fucking your gf, this what happens if you dont have abundance, you overthink and paranoia kicks in.

The fat guy has a game, he may be have a kid and a gf but who cares, as long as he can make your ltr smiles and giggles, thats all that matter. Lift and read and improve yourself, forget about her, focus on your mission in life.

[–]69odin4202 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

damn your girls cheating on you with a fat nurse. that must be a big wake up call. You will be in my prayers if I ever pray in the future (highly unlikely).

[–]spartan_samurai2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Plan your exit.

If she is talking about this guy for last 3 months and didn't negate his sexual behavior then do you really believe that no flirting is going on between them ?

She is enjoying the attention, the situation is not going to get better and will mess your head up more.

It's your choice at the end of the day to put up with this drama or call off a relationship.

[–]Greaterbird2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

How is her self control in general? Does she cheat on diets?

You'd think it would be easy in a relationship to simply not fuck other people behind the back of the person you supposedly care about, but apparently some people don't quite seem to grasp the general concept of monogamy.

[–]bestsparkyalive2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

It might be nothing at all. But she’s fucking with your head and your frame by doing this. It’s your choice wether to proceed based on your level of trust in your girl. To each their own. Do not come here and take most of these comments to heart. Do an honest evaluation of the situation. If you are able to and you need to get into her phone and check messages. As they say. Trust but verify.

[–]D50HS2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

If she had any sort of respect and genuine desire for you she wouldn't have "entertained the idea". You're getting cucked. You know what to do

[–]ASTRA-LUX2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’ve been way too available to this woman for the past 4-5 months. Taking every phone call on her break and spending all my free time with her. Should I start ignoring her calls and distancing myself from her more? I just setup some dating apps and I’m beginning to cultivate new leads on girls. Am I overreacting to this whole thing? What do you guys think I should do?

What should you do? How about you cut her loose and move on.

If a woman isn't sure of herself and status as to let other men trespass her personal space with nonsense, I wouldn't consider her life partner material. A simple but swift 'Fuck off' would have sufficed yet she didn't.

She said, she felt bad because she didn’t completely negate his sexual behavior and briefly entertained the idea at the time.

That's the reminder right there. Genuinely committed people don't behave that way.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's done, man. Pack your shit and leave politely. Then ghost.

[–]The1ndex2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

She told you she entertained the idea of fucking him.

“Hey so just FYI I’m thinking of fucking this guy a work”

That’s not LTR material.

[–]Fabulous-Craft2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

My LTR of 18 months called me this morning saying she feels guilty.

That's how trickle truth always starts. An innocent admission leading to more.

She also told me he’s kinda fat and that I’m much better looking.

Not a good sign. Just mentioning his attractiveness at all is a red flag. The only reason to bring this up unprompted is to try and deceive you.

If he’s working as a nurse

uh oh. Does that mean your girl is a nurse? They are crazy sluts. Something about the stress of the job, being cooped up in scrubs and having off hours for more play time brings out the slut in them. Just my personal experience.

My question is, am I going to have to demote this girl to a plate eventually? Is this a major red flag? What’s the likelihood she ends up fucking this dude? Do I have to go down to her job and fight this dude?

You catch her cheating you pretty much need to hard next her. And yes it's a major red flag, and honestly there is not much you can do about it other than maintain your frame and be vigilant to odd changes or nights out. Of course you could just next her too.

[–]hawaiianboomerang6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

bro just keep doing your thing and don't pay any attention, let her shut him down... she knows what she has to do..

now if it turns into him touching her and waiting by the car in the parking lot and other creepy forceful shit, is. he shows her nudes of his ltr cuz she's bi then I'd just smile and not tell her anything and show up at her work and talk to this fucking guy assertively and hint to him on fucking the fuck off

[–]KilluminatiGotti22 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

NEVER fight a guy over a girl unless something spontaneously egregious happened, for example you were out for dinner and a random guy disrespected her honour. In this situation you described it’s never ok to mate guard or fight a guy.

There’s an old saying, don’t check the pimp, check the hoe. With all that being said, this girl is giving major red flags and you need to lower your availability to her immediately. Become less invested and do it now. She sounds extremely bothersome. Just going off what you wrote, it’s sounds more like she’s using this as a shit test/ego boost than an actual precursor to cheating, but at the same time never underestimate the likelihood of her becoming unfaithful either.

[–]bakachelera1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not gonna lie. This sounds like your time's getting up. You may need to dump her soon before ir all goes to shit. She feels guilty. You're fucked dude.

[–]drovid41 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

OP try semen retention for a couple weeks. Worked for me.

[–]Delicious_Knowledge1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

What the fuck kinda stupid advice is this? Man, get the fuck off asktrp.

[–]drovid40 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

fuck TRP, I don't subscribe under their shit

SR does work though. Instead of wasting your energy through an orgasm dispenser, try to channel it into elevating your masculinity. My subjective experience tells me it works.

[–]Snowboard181 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You only need to be worried if the dude is a player that can pull. If its just any old beta dude, you have nothing to worry about unless your ltr is drinking around them.

Just always remember its just your turn and abundance mentality.

[–]coldestmichigan1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She didnt negate his moves when things between you are good. This is a typical cheating script in the writing for what would happen if you guys have an unrelated massive quarrel later on.

[–]maverick97591 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She has at least kissed him if not more and the hamster will try to put the blame on him for making advances or you for "not giving her enough attention" if that's so.. If one of those 2 things happen you should know she isn't telling you the truth. Also dread.. and for God's sake if you are in an LTR always keep one leg out of the door ready to leave at any moment you need to without any hesitation whatsoever.

[–]zlodej871 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your post radiates insecurity plus you give her too much comfort. And she saying that you're better looking than him is just her way of giving insecure you comfort you crave, while it should be the opposite. Regardless of what happens (has happend) with this particular guy, you have lost this one.

[–]BusterVadge1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

. I asked her if she did anything with him and she said no, which I do believe right now.

If she's bringing this up to you, there is more. Every girl who's not morbidly obese or looks like hammered shit has men hitting on them constantly. Your girl has for sure had men hitting on her since day one of your LTR. Something happened with this guy to make her want to bring this specific instance up to you.

Something is up.

I know there are 100 other posts saying the same thing, but count this as a vote of "you need to pull your head out of your ass, OP".

[–]longerpools1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This post is 10/10

[–]TRP_Scepter3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you can't handle the heat, stay out of the kitchen.

You're insecure and you need to fix that primarily.

  1. You should have already been cultivating multiple women in the first place.
  2. She may monkey branch, and that's just life.

Get more chicks and realize that she's not yours, it's just your turn.

[–]baggio862 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

She has either already smashed and is trying to slowly break it to you to alleviate her guilt as much as possible.. or she is conditioning you for when she does smash.

Even if she is totally innocent why would you want to be with someone who has to play that game?... dont even plate. Not worth the drama long term.. Just drop.

[–]brianmcg3211 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I vote plate her.

[–]1HurricaneHugues1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

"My question is, am I going to have to demote this girl to a plate eventually? "

How do u even still consider her your gf?

"This man has an LTR and a child which he lives with. He told her that his girlfriend would be cool with it if they had a thing on the side and that his gf is also bisexual."

He fulfilled his biological purpose plus he's Chad enough that his gf is okay with other women joining them. He's displaying adventurous and alpha behavior to your LTR and she's been eating that shit up the entire time. Your whoe of a "gf" is gone dude. Her mind is elsewhere. 3 months at a job and she can't even guard her rep as a girl who's in a relationship. Jesus Christ, it's like you need to keep this bitch on a leash in your basement so she doesn't start sucking random dicks. She just can't help herself.

"My LTR is definitely the type to crave male attention from what I can see and I’m sure she was flattered by the fact that this guy pushed up on her."

Christ, it's like you clowns enjoy loaded gunpowder kegs blowing up in your faces. She's a whore that craves male attention. Where are your standards? You're not special. You're not gonna magically turn this floozy into a saint. Get it out of your head that you're special and that women will change for you. Have some self respect and some standards. She is not LTR quality.

[–]RedVelocitiy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Handle it like a man, this will ALWAYS happen if you have an attractive girl. That's why you have plates.

[–]Wrote 1230 words about This One Girltakka10130 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Bro wtf dont be a bitch , if shes ur legit set her straight !

[–]bilabrin0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

There's a reason she's telling you this. It's a comfort test. Stop reacting. Agree and amplify.

Your only response should be (playfully) "cool, well if you do end up banging the guy use protection. I don't want to end up giving my next GF the herp." And then never bring it up again.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I’d you’re dating a nurse bad news. I work in healthcare and healthcare women ain’t it...

[–]ASTRA-LUX1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

dating a nurse bad news.

Not all nurses, believe me.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I am a nurse trust me more, my mom is also a nurse

I’d show you proof but not risking with the stuff I be posting on here.

We’re all fucking eachother in the hospital. Especially with the new dynamics covid has brought

[–]ASTRA-LUX1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hospice nurse here. No need for proof on your part lol but the ‘we all fuck each other’ must be an american thing. Never seen such unethical behavior in my facility. Plus I already have a life partner.

[–]ay-fuh-q0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Funny to see this particular thread 118 posts deep.... far less than the amount of times OP's girlfriend has been violated in some way by the guy at work.

[–]flying-backflip0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

There's no such thing as "demote to plate". The armchair womanizers here are dreaming if a woman in an LTR is just going to be okay with suddenly being nothing more than a fucktoy. There will be a confrontation.

[–]D50HS0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I don't think the confrontation matters that much. The real problem is that by demoting her to plate you're still rewarding her by wasting time and effort on a cheater.

[–]Shieldless_One-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Are you still fucking her? If yes no worries. If no then leave.



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