What are things you wish you knew in your 20s?

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May 17, 2020
166 upvotes

What advice you would give to your younger self.


Post Information
Title What are things you wish you knew in your 20s?
Author gtaguy1234
Upvotes 166
Comments 151
Date 17 May 2020 09:40 PM UTC (12 months ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/665812
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/glo18y/what_are_things_you_wish_you_knew_in_your_20s/
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Comments

[–]znikrep209 points210 points  (15 children) | Copy

-Work out. Seriously, not on on and off like you are doing.

-Get your nutrition straight.

-Appearences matter in every aspect of life. Work hard but make sure it is known.

-Be more assertive and aggressive in your professional life.

-Don't pay too much attention to what others think.

-People tell you that you look good as you are. That is not true.

-People tell you it is "cool to be yourself". That is a half-truth and it doesn't mean you should spend so much time doing unproductive things.

[–]dpgproductions36 points37 points  (9 children) | Copy

Fuck, that first one is relatable. That’s my biggest shortcoming, lifting for months at a time and then falling off also for months at a time.

[–]crazymysteriousman20 points21 points  (8 children) | Copy

I was doing soooooo great, finally found my rhythm going strong for about a year, after 8 years of on and off... Then the lockdown hit... I am dying without my gym. Been viewing a few home gym setups, can't take this shit anymore. Not giving up all I worked so hard for again!!!

[–]ckayOW12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy

watch athlean-x on youtube for some great home workout videos

[–]crazymysteriousman1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for the suggestion mate. Will check it out!

[–]landbuffalo4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

I feel that.

An issue I find, even with have some home gym equipment, is the lack of the correct environment.

Being in the gym gives me the focus mindset of working out and getting the job done well. Working out at home feels half hearted, either due to distractions in the environment or sub par equipment compared to my gym.

Ultimately I understand these are excuses I am making for myself and I should just get it done but that is easier said than done.

[–]crazymysteriousman2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

To be honest, I love training in the gym when it's really quiet and the rare occasions when I'm the only one there are the best sessions I have. Just put my headphones on and get down to business. No distractions. I feel like a home gym setup would suit me perfectly.

The subpar equipment might be the only thing that would dishearten me, so I've been looking for some real good quality equipment. Wouldn't you know it, pretty much everyone else has had the same idea as me since a lot of the good equipment is sold old, and it's pretty much impossible to find the right equipment if I'm not willing to wait months for it to arrive. By then the gyms will probably be open again (Australia). So I'm in quite the conundrum.

I still think long term a home gym setup is going to be the best thing for me, so I'm going to pursue it and get there sooner or later.

[–]landbuffalo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I definitely recommend buying the quality equipment. Lessons learned from my own purchasing is if you're going to do it you may as well do it right.

If you have the space look to do a home gym in its own room. Part of my problem is the 'home gym' is in a common space used for other things and it kills the focus.

Good luck

[–]ovrload1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

instead of focusing solely on lifting weights, you should go for a jog around your neighbourhood

[–]crazymysteriousman0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I actually have been doing that for the past year as well, so all good on that front. I just miss feeling my strength lifting some heavy weights you know... Plus those sweet sweet endorphins... Lockdown + no gym has really taken a toll on my wellbeing. It is honestly the main thing I have been missing in lockdown. I have still been working so my social life has sorta carried on, I really just need to get back to training man.

[–]New_Age_Radical16 points17 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is the best one. My biggest regret is probably that I didn't lift weights until I was about 22 and then I was playing catch up. A lot of the lads I know at University were lifting properly from 18 and it showed.

Also, paying too much attention to what others think. I was actually pondering this last night. Marcus Aurelius has a quote on not letting those men who can't meet their own standards get into your head. It's right. Be selective about who you listen to and definitely do NOT base where good advice comes from on your relationship with a person. Your father, for example, could end up giving you terrible advice. Just because he may or may not have your best interest at heart doesn't mean it'll be worth applying. Seek out those who are successful and ask them. But remember, what works for them might not work for you. U

Oh and one more, focus on the here and now more. It's all we have and you're a long time dead.

[–]salsamasterer1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

As long as you're lifting now its alright, doesnt matter when you started

[–]AssassiN180 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

How did you know I do it on and off ;(((

[–]AbrahamMoh0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Work hard but make sure it is known.

Damn. This part sticks. I work hard but many times it hasn't been "known" or seen by family and friends bc it's not done around them. I feel they don't respect me as much as they should sometimes.

[–]dtyler8653 points54 points  (12 children) | Copy

I wish I had started dressing better, lifting and realizing how quick your twenties flies by. Having a roommate, wearing shitty tshirts and not being super fit are all college-era habits that are acceptable in your mind in your twenties. You’ll find as soon as you dress better, love alone and earn serious money, strangers, women, your friends, business associates all take you more seriously, trust your opinions and it all around boosts your confidence and makes you write things like this on TRP at 33. Had I really kicked my ass at the gym, swapped Deftones tshirts for button downs and pants, started setting REAL financial goals and reading (thing and grow rich, rich dad poor dad), I’d be SO much better off now. Financially, socially, physically

[–]Transport12720 points21 points  (2 children) | Copy

I’m realizing this at 29. Not too late though

[–]New_Age_Radical6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly. I'd argue it's not too late at 39, or 49 either. Even at 49 it's conceivable you're going to live for another 50 years. Might as well make the most of them.

[–]SaveMeApparel7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’m realizing all this at 16 I’m very happy I have this information at such a young age

[–]Jgalayd2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

about to renew my lease on first apartment where it is just me. turning 29 in a month, just finished reading rich dad poor dad and "release your brakes". I cant help but agree with you on so many levels. I feel certainly happier in my own shoes when wearing button downs, so much that I'm surprised that compliments i get them. have been taking supplements like magnesium and dhea over the last few years. When i did change gym memberships to a gym that has a sauna. I noticed a huge difference in my health. I would frequently get sick every other month, not anymore. plus before quarantine started I maxed my bench to my bodyweight. was so happy to hit that, frankly I'm ignoring quarantine and biking at least 50 miles a week. I cant help but agree somkuch with the importance of financial goals. after years of trying to get rid of re-occurring credit card debt i finally got both a savings and my credit cards are never more tghan can get paid off in 45 days. approaching. 29 and have an 806 credit score. goals people!

[–]dtyler860 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Amazing man! Congrats

[–]Bck4Bng2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

T-shirts can look good, you just have to choose the right ones. Agree with everything else, especially the taking seriously part. Good dressing sense and good bod helps with women and men alike, also proper grooming, like a good haircut and face appropriate beard.

[–]dtyler865 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

I mean these are definitely just my personal preferences, but there’s something to be said about going out with a few guy friends and a few ladies and one of your friends is dressed pretty well, yet they can’t get into a place because he’s wearing sneakers, your other Friend is wearing decent dress shoes but he’s wearing a T-shirt and you’re the only person there wearing dress shoes and a dress shirt and the circumstances are obvious. I’m not saying wear this all the time to the grocery store or to your local dive bar to meet your house, but I’m particularly fond of dive bars and I’m often regarded as a bit of a voice of authority and responsibility in the places regardless of my behavior because I’m the only guy there not wearing a chef coat, not wearing basketball shorts, always wearing pants, boat shoes and usually a polo shirt at the least. Into those reading this, this is not an easy adjustment. I’ve always been an indie rock bands and worked in the music industry, more of a jeans, chuck Taylors and a RammStein T-shirt kind of guy. But I can guarantee that I have made some serious important business relationships over a handshake and a cocktail in very unlikely circumstances and I believe that magnetism would not have been present had I been wearing the same clothes I wore when I was 24 years old.

[–]Bck4Bng2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Okay, that's good insight. I'll consider wearing shirts only at outings from now.

[–]znikrep2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's never too late to work on yourself. "It's too late" is often the biggest fallacy.

"It's Wednesday and I had a burger for lunch, I'll start my diet on Monday" What's wrong with starting now?

"I'll sign up for the gym next month, don't have money right now" Fair enough, how about going for runs or doing bodyweight excercises in the meantime?

"I don't have time to read a book right now, I'm too busy" Could happen, why don't you watch/listen any of the video material on youtube while in the toilet/driving/lunch at work, etc?

I only started seriously working out at 30. Only discovered TRP at 34, though I had read some of the books beforehand. Would I be better off if I had done this work when I was 25? Absolutely. Will I be in a better position if I postpone the work? Not at all.

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy

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[–]znikrep2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I haven't seen you, but seriously doubt it. You're probably just not used to seeing yourself in one.

Try different options, such as tucked/untucked or rolled up sleeves, depending on the occasion.

Personally, I find you can rarely go wrong with black pants (even black slim jeans are ok) and a white, long sleeve button down shirt. Consider adding a plain, thin material v-neck sweater.

[–]dtyler860 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It could definitely be preferential to your body type. I’m a little bit overweight, I have pretty large pecks and having a little extra fat there has the appearance of man boobs by wearing tighter fitting clothes when in reality I don’t have man boobs, put a button down sort of drapes itself in a way that’s a little bit more flattering on me, plus there’s the advantage that it’s considered formal, you always look like you’re going somewhere better or just came from somewhere important versus a regular T-shirt. I will polo shirts a lot too

[–]Jessor6982 points83 points  (3 children) | Copy

How self improvement is the tiniest niche globally & locally, how much people try to pull you in downward directions and see you fail.

When you improve you think people want to see you become better and help, just the opposite. There's a reason why frame is the strongest advocate of trp, because you need it so much as a defence against modernity & the mundane, it's practically used everyday.

Develop your frame and your mental point of origin (putting yourself first in every decision) and you will succeed. All that matters is your health, your wealth and your ability to date girls, the rest of your interests can be developed after having those 3 built on a foundational level.

Not to say people don't want to help, but saying 90% of people aren't consciously improving their lives and don't know how to help if they wanted to.

[–]znikrep5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

Not my quote: "People want you to be successful. Just not too successful."

[–]electricspresident1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

It should be 'they want you to be successful just not more than them'

It's human nature , nothing to be mad about.

[–]znikrep0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Absolutely. It's just an ugly wake up when you realise your friend doesn't REALLY want you to own a successful business or your girlfriend doesn't REALLY want you look ripped due to their own insecurities.

[–][deleted] 281 points282 points  (35 children) | Copy

That today’s society interprets friendliness and kindness weak.

Nobody really cares about anybody(maybe parents and siblings do) beyond that after college you realize that all those close college friends were just drinking buddies

Always keep your best interests number 1.

Enjoy the moment and stop always looking towards the next step.

Lastly I would give every last penny in my bank account to have had the ability to read the rationale male at 20 as opposed to 29.

Just some off the top of my head.

[–]KoolAidMan798041 points42 points  (2 children) | Copy

Shit. 29. Try being 40. With 4 kids.

[–]LSDparade15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

Pain, trauma and challenge is always relative to the individual. Doesn't matter if you're 20, 30 or 40 learning this stuff. I've learnt to never compare challenges to anyone else's or you'll get nothing but rationalisation, resentment or a lack of personal responsibility.

Really, it's all part of the battle of ego-reduction when coming to the realisation that your whole personality was built on misinformation, or lack of perspective. Something most men will never confront.

[–]Noodlesoupe2122 points123 points  (9 children) | Copy

No it doesn’t it interpreters neediness and simphood as weak. You can be a kind person as long as you are doing it out of choice and goodwill and not insecurity. This is what “nice guys” don’t understand.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (7 children) | Copy

Agreed that is definitely true for the “nice guy” the appearance is weak and cringey and comes off as insincere.

That’s not what I’m talking about in my comment though. Even simple acts of kindness helping the fat kid get into shape, when a kid is at the bar by himself and looking down and inviting him over, just genuinely caring about people at this point is looked at as weakness.

I’m about as far from a “nice guy” as it gets, but over the past 5 years these are things I’ve done and noticed.

[–]ihateyouguys19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy

You’re definitely right, but people can be taught to appreciate it temporarily, and sometimes even long term with occasional reminders. Loss aversion is the only true motivator.

As long as you help people because it’s the right thing to do, and you have the deep, central, core integrity not to expect anything in return (not even to be seen as a good, kind person) you’ll be in the clear. Carefully weeding out feelings of resentment is essential. In order to properly manage your emotional investment, you have to know precisely what your goals are, and precisely what your deal breakers are; stick to those with zero compromise and you should wind up okay.

[–]Noodlesoupe212 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Idk man maybe it’s geographic differences but I’ve gotten a lot of respect for being a genuinely nice (not a pushover) person and even if I didn’t I wouldn’t care about the opinion of those simpletons anyways.

[–][deleted]  (3 children) | Copy

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[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

The majority of my acts of kindness are when no one is looking and I expect nothing in return.

Let me ask you this would you cry in public if there were a bunch of smoke shows a few feet away?

With your logic...”hell yeah I would cry my eyes balls out because caring what people perceive as weakness is beta.”

The way we present ourselves matters and it’s not beta to control people’s perceptions.

Law 5 of the 48 laws of power: “so much depends on reputation guard it with your life.”

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

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[–]eaazzy_130 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

There are good reasons to cry. Having a cry doesn’t make you an emotional wreck or a child in an adult body.

[–]throwawayandtossout0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'd say the degree to which your "niceness" and caring nature is perceived by others as weakness is inversely proportional to the amount of success, confidence, and neediness you have. The more of those traits you possess, the less it's perceived that way.

If you're being nice for any reason other than to just be nice (ie if you're doing for any selfish reason), it will be easily noticeable by others.

[–]moonSOS1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly. Perfectly fine to be as kind and considerate as you want but be able to detach.

[–]redpill_scientist9215 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

If your parents and siblings care about you, you’re lucky

[–]WolfofAllStreetz28 points29 points  (0 children) | Copy

This. Noone gives a shit about you except your parents. Even then its pushing it.

Work on you, fuck everyone else. Give back when you can but realize your friends are not really your friends.

Save money, max out your roth ira or company 401k. Live within your means for god sakes.

Source: MRP Guy.

[–]Velebit10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Humans have evolved to live in a tribe. Not just a 'tribe' but a real, blood related tribe where everyone is a cousin, at least a distant one. We have evolved for a life different then what we have, a life where you get friends as soon as you are born and they are at least your siblings and close cousins, a life where a marriage will be arranged for you regardless of your social skills, where a job will be provided regardless of your smarts, but also a life where things will be expected from you to provide for your tribe and to sacrifice your own interests often for needs of others.

This is just how we have evolved and why modernity and this atomized consumerist hedonistic life is not for us, especially being among people of far far different genetics and upbringing messes up various unwritten social laws that exist within various social groups, especially those that are closely blood related.

It was interesting for me to read how police in Israel don't arrest people for small things but instead shame them and moralize over what they have done and how it is undignified for a member of a society to act unseemly.

Fundamentally this idea or 'individuals who are our for themselves' is deeply flawed and unhuman and it was adapted in America and through American prestige after wwii spread everywhere.

[–]bayfarm4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nobody gaf about you in a sense that if youre in trouble theres no sympathy. Have no money? Nobody cares if you're broke living on the streets. When we were young we had our parents and grown ups that looked after us. That sense of security is gone.

[–]travlingsomewhere6 points7 points  (5 children) | Copy

Sold me on the last point. Going to read it. Haven’t heard of it though.

[–]redpill_scientist924 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

Models, book of pook, and 48 laws of power are all you need. Rollo is a good author but left me feeling bitter, which is never good.

[–]travlingsomewhere0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks my guy I’ll check them out.

[–]golgynat0r0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

and he also married.

[–]empatheticapathetic4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Are you new to this sub?

[–]travlingsomewhere0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I’ve been subbed here for a few years but don’t pay much attention to it cuz it just seems like a bunch of kids giving “tough” love.

I only look at actual quality posts from the older guys with lots of XP. This book sounds worth a read though!

[–]opper-hombre13 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy

What exactly have you learned from the RM that you couldn’t learn from TRP and google? Honest question. I have the book, tried starting it, but I’m really not a big fan of Tomassi’s writing style.

[–]durdensworld10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

I agree. Although I think RM has good content and talks a lot about RP theory, I found the Book of Pook to be a lot more useful in terms of developing inner game and a "I am the prize" mindset.

[–]opper-hombre13 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Absolutely loved the Book of Pook. So much of it resonated with me. Its the first reading material I recommend

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

For me the book came first. I never had issues picking up women, so I didn’t really enter this community through that lens.

I was redpilled by watching my dad get divorced raped and had what I thought was a decent understanding of women. Took me getting my soul ripped out and I wanted a better understanding of modern male-female interpersonal interaction, and every inner thought I had ever repressed or hidden because of it not politically correct was validated through that book it’s been a complete game changer for me.

I agree his writing style is a bit odd, but everything he says hits the nail on the head.

[–]colinnb4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

“every inner thought I had ever repressed or hidden because of it not politically correct was validated through that book”

Couldn’t have said it better myself

[–]opper-hombre10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for the response. I’ll have to give it another go

[–]SICFJC0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Why do you say that about the rational male ? What impact has it had on you ? Your comment may have inspired me to read it

[–]reece248319950 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I feel like I really need to buy The Rational Male Now.

[–]SaveMeApparel1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Search up “the rational male PDF” on google and it’ll come up if you want to get it for free online

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hot take the people in purple debate didnt understand me but basically women believe we think like them. So they assume every kind guy has a alternative motive because thats how most women are. I personally think the nice guys "tm" are not that common. But its also normal to expect to get a postive reaction to being postive not being treated like shit. Thats diff than winning about nor getting pussy tho.

[–]jackandjill220 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Interesting.

[–][deleted]  (3 children) | Copy

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[–]MeshackAjax8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

TELL US WHAT MADE YOU THINK THAT OTHER THAN RP IDEOLOGIES

[–]xxx69harambe69xxx5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

LOUD NOISES

[–]theredsperg1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

WHAT DIFFERENCE IS THERE IN MARRIAGE?

A CONTRACT? FOR PUSSY?

[–]drsherbert51 points52 points  (0 children) | Copy

Cut off all people who don’t genuinely give a fuck about you. In your 20’s you have more people in your social circle who secretly despise you. Watch the people around you, stand up for yourself and don’t let shit slide. Pay attention to the people who make slights against you. These people are most likely talking mad shit about you behind your back and are praying for your downfall.

[–]leotard-princess27 points28 points  (4 children) | Copy

That things get way better in your 30s and you should spend your 20s as a guy preparing for it. I was too bothered and bought the narrative that your 20s were the time of your life and it's utter utter bullshit. I would have been better getting a load of cash and then partying the fuck out of it in my 30s.

[–]tacosattack7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Amen to this. My early twenties were a miserable time. I'm nearly 30 now and never been happier.

[–]NerdyAffleet2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

What specifically makes your 30’s better than your 20’s? Sometimes it’s hard to visualize as a mid 20’s guy

[–]leotard-princess4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well in my opinion as a man you are not properly emotionally formed until you are at least 28. You are more complex emotionally than a woman - who will have peaked around 21. You now understand and have the ability to be compassionate and brave and insightful - and can better see your place in the world and follow that.

You know all this stuff about having your mission. Yeah that. Plus also you are dramatically going up the SMV scale and now have access to tons of women that you thought held all the power before. It's a great time to be alive.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

x 1000 to this. 30s is where it comes together for most guys. And it doesn't mean you have to date 30-year-old women, either.

[–]bigsam1time128 points129 points  (7 children) | Copy

Love is something only your mom can bring. You should’ve started lifting at sixteen. Your Fuckboy friends were right. Don’t trust anyone with your life.

[–]throwmrwaway12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your Fuckboy friends were right.

That's relatable, my fuckboy brother sure was right

[–]deezkneezplease11 points12 points  (3 children) | Copy

you'll only believe that you will never find a woman to fully devote herself to you until the day either of you kick the bucket if you have a fragile ego or if you just generally have a shit taste in women.

[–]IndianaBW16 points17 points  (2 children) | Copy

I had 3 strokes trying to read this

It’s also wrong. Just because 20% of people can make daytrading options on a credit card profitable doesn’t mean we should advise the rest of the world to do it. Marriage isn’t the remotely what it was 30.. 50 years ago, & it’s getting worse by day.

It’s statistical Russian roulette on your finances and frankly your entire well-being and time.

[–]deezkneezplease-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

I was high af. I dunno man, who wants to be a kid their whole life chasing random hoes and dying without passing down their Gene's? Sounds like a sad life. And besides, life is all about taking chances

[–]Bck4Bng0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Nope don't lift from 16. Your height grows till 20. Start lifting from 19 and ramp it up sometime in your 20th year. What were fuck boys right about tho? Please elaborate.

[–]bigsam1time2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I lost my virginity to a girl I had passively macked on for 4 years. My friends who had sex at age 12 told me that I’m gonna get too attached to that body, she ain’t shit, and she’s gonna leave one day. Like most of us, I thought I was the exception.

She broke me, I’m here, and he told me what was gonna happen word for word. No red pill, books, none of that hypergamy shit. Just facts from my bro. It’s funny, he laughed at me for 20 minutes while he hugged me, and after a while I laughed too.

Your real homies will never lie to you.

[–]thrwy7547953 points54 points  (1 child) | Copy

  • Set aside time to read regularly; make it a habit
  • Have fun
  • Fuck around with girls, don't waste too much time on girls though
  • Get at least 1 good LTR under your belt, so you're not emotionally stunted
  • Maintain your health; keep fit, lift, eat healthy
  • Be competitive about finances; be greedy about maximizing your income
  • Learn to sell; take up a sales job for a while, become good at it
  • Learn about as many financial concepts as possible: stocks, dividends, bonds, debt, interest, real estate, valuation, risk management, etc.
  • Fight all you want, time is undefeated

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Be greedy about maximizing your income

I really like this one, thank you for that. I’m 24 and throughout college I’ve always been working and making bread to live fairly comfortably. However, I’ve never taken the next step to pursue other streams of revenue. Now is the time.

[–]Musicgoon15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

The risk of getting rejected is worth it. And always invest in yourself and your own happiness.

Most people don't have a fucking clue about being happy.

[–]Noodlesoupe265 points66 points  (2 children) | Copy

People aren’t as out to get you as you think and socializing as much as possible is the best thing you can do for your inner and outer value

[–]rplad42010 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Underrated comment.

Many lads assume that people are out there to get them and avoid socializing which prevents them from having the time of thier lives.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev31 points32 points  (3 children) | Copy

Life After 30: How to Be an Old Guy

-You have one life. Here's how to enjoy it.

Become the Prize

-Master your life. Become the Prize.

Approach Anxiety: Faint Heart Never Fucked Fair Lady

-Take a Deep Breath, and Make It Count.

Abundance Mentality - Why It's Good For You.

-If You Really Want To Know, Go And Build It.

Uncle Vasya’s Guide to Outcome Independence or Welcome to Level 99 DGAF

-How to Rock Out With Your Cock Out.

[–]fapfapfapnot2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Hey Uncle Vasya! Hope everything is going great! I recently came across a comment under some post in trp which suggested to read Vasiliy's post on the topic - How to live solo when you get older and how guys thinking they have their kids as security is a myth - something along the lines of this. I tried finding it in your profile but couldn't. Question is did you write something related to this topic? and if yes can you it link here? I'm still young, in my early 20s and I know I need not worry about it for now but I've decided to never get married and I'm kind of worried about what would happen when I live when I'm old and alone.It's not about the loneliness but about a certain situation like someone breaking into my house and robbing and killing me for money when I get older or stuff like that (overthinking, I know). If you have a post on this topic please link it and I would like to know your perspective on this and get your advice. Thanks!

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'm kind of worried about what would happen when I live when I'm old and alone.

Why? Once you hit your 30s, things will get easier for you as the pool of non-fucktard men gets smaller, so if you manage to keep good work, don't go to prison, don't become a drug addict and don't blimp out, you should clean up.

It's not about the loneliness but about a certain situation like someone breaking into my house and robbing and killing me for money when I get older or stuff like that (overthinking, I know).

So don't live in a shitty neighborhood.

If you have a post on this topic please link it and I would like to know your perspective on this and get your advice. Thanks!

It sounds like this one:

End Game or Handling Life on Your Own Terms

-Take a Deep Breath and Make it Count.

[–]fapfapfapnot0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks a ton for the advice and link! About to read it right now!

[–]Endorsed ContributorMetalgear22212 points13 points  (3 children) | Copy

-I would've quit video games cold turkey sooner.

-I would've began reading sooner.

-I would've focused on overall health in fitness (stretching, cardio, proper rehab and isometrics, calisthenics etc) instead of focusing on size or being shredded for summer.

-I would've gotten out of the bar/party scene sooner and into passions and hobbies where you can meet lasting friendships and higher quality girls

-I would've chased spirituality sooner instead of believing I have all the answers to everything

-I would've learned to speak up, learn to say No, and do what I really wanted to do instead of just being guided by my dad and older brother

-I would've focused on having less ego in my interactions. More humility. Quietly confident, not loudly. Being kind instead of editing my personality to be the most Alpha I could. Basically more genuine.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Best advice in this whole thread.

[–]Throwaway0111960 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

What hobbies would you suggest for meeting higher quality girls?

[–]Endorsed ContributorMetalgear2223 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Rock-climbing, anything involving exercise like beach volleyball, those obstacle course 5k's, dancing lessons, early morning gym group class workouts/yoga are all good.

But nothing beats having a social circle that does social things together and constantly puts you around meeting new people and girls. Social game beats cold approach in my experience.

Church and youth group shouldn't be overlooked either. Great for looking for LTRs if you're religious

[–]Relaxredditrockstar40 points41 points  (1 child) | Copy

Some friends are temporary. There’s nothing wrong with that. People move apart.

Work very Hard towards your goals NOW.
“You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today. And then one day you find ten years have got behind you. No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun” - Pink Floyd

You’ll be surprised how fast the years do go by, and you’re sitting there with regret. Incredibly shit feeling.

[–]JaydXThomas4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

'Time' is one of the greatest songs ever written. I haven't listened to it in a while, thanks for this.

[–]Ed4all1546 points47 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don’t get fucking married

[–]omegaXXIV20 points21 points  (2 children) | Copy

  • Start investing for retirement now if you haven't started already. Use your employer's retirement plan benefit if they have one and if not look into standalone retirement plan options.

  • Start lifting if you haven't already. Learn proper form so you don't get injured and delay your progress. Ego lifting is not sustainable in the long run.

  • Read the TRP side bar and at least one book on game and actually practice game. If you're reading every single book on game available at the expense of practicing it, you're defeating the purpose.

I'm actually 24, I'm just repeating conventional advice that I know applies. Nothing groundbreaking.

[–]whereabouts117 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

I’d say retirement/pension schemes will be dead by the time we’re 60+. Not reliable at all

[–]1jacques_cousteau00761 points62 points  (4 children) | Copy

Invest in bitcoin

[–]jackandjill2215 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

lol

[–]11-Eleven-114 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

Here's to hoping ethereum is the next bitcoin

[–]New_Age_Radical10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

narrator

Ethereum didn't turn out to be the next bitcoin.

[–]11-Eleven-110 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah a lot of people are saying that. I might start looking at cardano.

[–]Fury_9329 points30 points  (0 children) | Copy

Never love a bitch.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

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[–]le_wolfe1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Most of the things that hurt your feelings right now, in future you'll laugh at those things.

Haha. Looking back at me early 20s priorities makes me chuckle, couldn't agree more.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]ZealousFeet1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This seems like one of the keys to abundance mentality beside inner goals.

[–]Vanhyrac-6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

  1. Quit porn, and take quitting extremely seriously.

  2. Start your side hustle ASAP, the sooner you fail the sooner you’ll learn how to succeed.

  3. Most people have no clue what they’re doing, but don’t assume you know more.

[–]AboveAll20173 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Underrated comment. All 3 are very good points

[–]NPLPro34 points35 points  (3 children) | Copy

Instead of wasting time and money at college use those resources to start a business.

The older you get the more liabilities shackle you to unfulfilling jobs making others wealthy.

[–]HiImMeee3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

What kind of business would u have started?

[–]GucciInch15 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy

Start a service based business.

Learn a revenue generating skill (copywriting, sales, traffic generation, etc.), sell that skill to established biz owners in exchange for a flat monthly fee and/or commission.

[–]kevin_tanjaya0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I want to learn that too. Where do you learn that?

[–]when_its_too_late5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

That women are liars.

That all women are the same in the long run.

Wish I knew about hypergamy.

[–]Nighthawk_Black_11 points12 points  (3 children) | Copy

Save your money.

[–]blacwidonsfw3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

For what though? I got 90k in my bank. Should I buy a house ?

[–]Nighthawk_Black_5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Incase shit hits the fan like you get hurt and can't work.

[–]rplad4202 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Start a biz

[–]spartanblood14 points5 points  (8 children) | Copy

Im a young male, and a question to older people. Should I be hardcore saving money? should I be easy with my money, is it a struggle in the future with money? Thanks

[–]flgeo77 points8 points  (6 children) | Copy

Save at least 10% of whatever income you have and take care of all your priorities first and foremost. Whatever is left you may use for whatever you want. I personally use that remainder to have fun, invest, and save even more.

[–]spartanblood11 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

thank you for your comment, taking notes.

[–]Shortbull2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

I'm 20, so young myself. I don't have much experience but I look into this stuff a lot. The primary thing I would say is look into generating as many sources of income as possible. Practice trading on the stock market. Not only will you learn how to read stocks to invest in, you can earn some serious money daytrading if you get good at it (which is hard, but people have done it before there you can do it too). I am not at that point yet.

Savings account interest rates are abysmal at the moment, and probably will be for a while. If you put £1000 into a bank, a year later it'll probably be worth 1000.50 - 1005. It is extremely low. In the stock market on an average investment, you can turn 100$ into 120$ in a couple of months (or lose some) but that 20$ is way more than any interest. For that reason, I buy a diverse array of stocks when low and use them to store a bit of cash. Risky but i'm up way more than if it sat in my bank.

Read the Slight Edge, Extreme Ownership, How to Win Friends and Influence people by Dale Carnegie and the 4 Hour Work Week. Also read The Rational Male. This will develop your mindset to make money, get after it, grind and stay sharp. You will not be 'rich' from a regular job, so you need to look into getting more sources of income.

Barriers to entry are very low for online businesses right now so you just have to think smart and learn skills. Even freelancing anything. The more skills the better. You don't have to have a business but it will make things easier and teach you a lot of financial information, if you ever get into a position in a normal job / career where an opportunity arises, you will know whether to seize or avoid it due to experience in the past.

If you don't track money, it will disappear. I turned a 9k student loan into a few hundred and could only account for 1.5k. Now I track everything and know what I spend and it helps enormously.

My plan for wealth is finish my STEM degree, keep working on my marketing business (atm doing so), put extra cash that I can afford to lose into stocks to earn and learn, store money in safer stocks that would make much better money than interest would than in a bank. When I get about 25k saved, get started in real estate. I have 2 business partners and we agreed 25k is good to start each, and we plan to do it together to raise our initial money to 75k. After that, I will focus on automating my marketing business (although current goal), potentially day trade with spare cash to make a few grand a month extra, and keep developing into real estate.

The fact you are here indicates you are already ahead of the curve and need to keep working hard.

Read 10 pages a day of a life changing book, be frugal, be positive and look for opportunity everywhere. Don't be afraid to fail! Good luck brother.

[–]flgeo72 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

I really like your plan. I’m only five years ahead of you. I have my STEM degree but it’s my only source of income. I just recently started investing in the stock market, but it’s hard to pay attention to it throughout the day when you have a full time gig. I started with individual stocks, but I’m thinking of investing more into ETFs. As for a side gig, I haven’t been able to come up with a good enough idea to make money off of. What inspired you to start the business you’re running?

[–]Shortbull0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I know exactly what you mean haha, I waste a lot of time watching it. I think ETFs are more secure and fluctuate less, I don't have any myself as my portfolio is just under 40% cryptocurrency and 60% stocks, with most of those being in oil because it was so low recently. The crypto I got during 2019 so I've not made much but it was better than nothing.

I think its good your working with your degree as you can use it as experience if it something like coding/software/web design.

I try to think of ideas all the time but most of them are turd. I started it in digital marketing a couple of years ago. I always liked the idea of being a business owner to get me some extra income and just never thought how I could do it, until I met some like minded friends in school, we researched the skills and made it. I must admit we got in during the SMMA phase but try to differentiate ourselves on real value and professionalism. We are still looking for our first client after dormancy until last Feb but since then we have been trying a lot and are pretty close to getting our first couple. We wasted too much time.

It is still not too late to get into that, especially with industry experience if your field is similar, and things like outsourcing work to people with skills to complement your own can mean you can have a skilled and experienced workforce under you, so long as you can find the clients

[–]flgeo71 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Tbh, the digital marketing industry never really interested me but I’m starting to see the value and potential in it. I don’t have any experience with coding; I’m actually a scientist. I chose this field because I had very little desire to sit in front of a computer at a desk all day, and now that’s like 50% of my job. I guess that’s made me more open minded about pursuing work in the digital realm.

I definitely can see myself being a consultant sometime in the next few years so that’s what keeps me in the industry for right now. There’s a lot more money to be made as a consultant than as a full time employee of an engineering firm. It’s also easier to achieve the goal of being my own boss and doing something I enjoy. Anyway, wishing you the best in your endeavors and thanks for sharing your experience.

[–]Shortbull0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Wow that's really cool actually! I am in computer science myself. Marketing never interested me at first but I think its a highly applicable skill you can take anywhere with you which is great.

Perhaps you could make online courses? Or offer tutoring to students or people who are interested in the industry maybe. And thank you! You too, good luck

[–]daymi1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

is it a struggle in the future with money?

No one knows, especially with economic crisis now.

But in the past I advanced in positions at companies over the years (by working smarter, not harder) and money increased a lot. So saving in the beginning is not so useful comparatively speaking (saving rate is like 0% too). However, investing in the beginning is a mighty good idea.

That said, healthcare costs for me personally are getting higher and higher.

Source: 37 yo.

[–]Nergaal8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Red Pill is real, and every single time you choose to ignore it, the reality will bite you

[–]TheProfitMotive4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

- 99% of relationships are supposed to FAIL not succeed. Something that is truly worth having will not be easy to come by.

- Unless shes the woman you are going to have kids with, it DOES NOT MATTER how the relationship pans out. Every relationship other than the one with the mother of your child fundamentally just boils down to a pleasant distraction. You can ALWAYS find a new distraction

[–]DifficultDamage8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just as all of the other posts said, work on yourself while you can. One thing I will say is never ever fuck your credit score, in fact, focus on building good financial habits and build a strong credit score, it will help you so much it's ridiculous.

[–]drevenx136 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

As long as you’re healthy, money is all that matters.

[–]Elfclan307 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

dont smile too much.

know what haters are and how to deal with. You were on the right path all along, no need to change(spent my whole life listening people talking about haters, but could identify them in my life and therefore the lack of knowledge on how to deal with them, you are on the right path of self improvement, no need to go ganster, just keep reading books, college and gym).

Please, dont give the crabs in the bucket too much attention and ofc dont let them pull you down.

[–]woodencrown2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Compound interest

[–]signsoflife6201 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

  1. Never trust a deal unless it’s in writing

  2. A promised higher paying job won’t always make you happier than a job you can achieve good health and happiness at.

[–]1InformalCriticism1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Always assume people are trying to take advantage of you, including agents of the government.

[–]VigilantSmartbomb3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Love yourself because it really doesn’t matter

[–]Youngyoda890 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Learning to lift a correct way. And starting a 401k yester-year. I’m not joking start your 401k NOW.

[–]IBETITALL4200 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Finding the Red Pill. But i'm still blessed that I found it regardless.

[–]fartingaround0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don't do drugs. Even if its weed. Keep the usage minimal to none.

[–]DrunkOldBear0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Fffuuuc... I am travelling now with two young fellow engineers in their twenties, advising them (because they asked) about their relationships. I realize that I needed someone like me in my life when I was that age.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Everything you hear about men on social media is BS, the wife isn't always right, don't put girls on a pedestal, don't be a simp, put yourself first and everything will come from that.

[–]The_Peoples_Asshole0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Pushing 30. I’m so lucky I found TRP at 22.

  1. Get your body right. Outside and inside.
  2. Learn Game. If you have the cash to spare, I have a course that I learned a lot from that could possibly help. It’s like the extra 25% I didn’t know. The crucial stuff that was making girls run from me. DM me.
  3. The most important part; GET YOUR FINACIAL HOUSE IN ORDER! This is easier said than done. Something I continued to struggle with because of old College habits. But now, I’m coming out on top with my job that I’m making a career, and using these stimulis checks to pay off significant parts of my student loans. I can only go up from here.


You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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