I really do not want to attract women with money

forefatherrabbi · 2020-05-18T22:12:52+00:00

So people are attracted to money, and those are people that are not attracted to you. You want someone who is attracted to you. Being successful usually means money, but it also means you work hard and get stuff done. You manage your time, you cut out stuff that is a waste, and generally have more opportunities. These are not 100%accurate, but these are the traits people are trying to show off with money, because if you have money you must have these qualities, so the logic goes.

Instead of showing off the money, show off the qualities. Be good with your time, work hard, do things you love and cut out the things that don't bring you joy. A partner will see that and not have to wonder if money = traits, cause you show them the traits.

theblitz6794 · 2020-05-19T13:11:02+00:00

"Women" don't exist. Womans do, individual female humans with different personalities and values and desires and life experiences.

The individual female humans you attract will be filtered by how you attract them. If money is your shining characteristic, you'll attract individual female humans who value money as the most important thing.

Do you really want that?

raziphel · 2020-05-18T20:53:05+00:00

Then don't date them.

There's nothing wrong with wanting financial stability in your life or your partner(s), because being broke fucking sucks, but if you don't want to date superficial or materialistic people, then well... no one's forcing you to.

But don't for even a hot moment think that this is the only thing women want in someone. Attraction is more complex than that. Don't look down on people who have good social skills either - that would be foolish and self-sabotaging.

Be someone others want around.

beigs · 2020-05-19T00:25:20+00:00

Don’t mention your job or how much you make?

I met my husband in university, and we were both dirt poor. It didn’t stop me from loving him.

Inareskai · 2020-05-18T21:10:01+00:00

So.. don't attract women with money?
There are many things that make a man attractive or not to a woman (and that varies between men and women!). To this day - having been with my partner for 6.5 years - it's my car (he can't drive) and the apartment is in my name (because my money paid for it). I wasn't attracted to him for anything related to his material status.
Rich men are likely to have girls fawn over them, the same way rich women have guys fawn over them. But they make up a very, very small percentage of the actual relationships out there in the world.

RandomKneecaps · 2020-05-19T16:31:25+00:00

You don't need strangers on the internet telling you that it's okay to be you, you need to actually socialize with the intention of getting to know other people. You're having a hard time with all this because you are, and I don't mean to be insulting, completely fucking lost in yourself. That's okay to an extent, that's what these kinds places are for, talking about what's going in your head.

You've had a lot of issues and seem to be dealing with a lot of mental health problems and life changes. That can make you very self-centered in the way of "I have to put on my own oxygen mask before I help others with theirs" kind of way and again, that's okay.

But recognize that every single post you make here is you comparing who you are to some idealized life you want for yourself, what you want to be thought of, what you want others to be attracted to you for, what you're worried about people thinking of you. I'm expressly using gender neutral terms here because women are people, and when you back off and realize that your expectations of women and men around you are wildly different then maybe you will see that you're focusing far more on yourself and this image you have built of what you think a good relationship is and your need for absolutes, for comfort and safety in that fantasy than worrying about being able to actually connect with other human beings.

Healthy, normal relationships come from people empathizing with each other and being able to set their ego aside and let someone else into their lives. Reading your thorough and looooong history posting in this sub with repeating themes, do you really think you're in a place where you can care about another person as much as you care about how you're perceived by that person? And to be clear, caring for someone as a person does not mean sacrificing for someone without reward, it does not mean setting yourself up to be taken advantage of by someone, it does not mean being a doormat and suffering in silence and then wondering why you do so much for someone but they don't give you the feelings you want. It does not mean worry or stress or constant work, it's about finding JOY in another person's life and perspective of the world and everything else. If you can't find actual joy in the lives of others, you will have a hard time connecting with anyone in a way that will make you feel secure enough to stop worrying about your Attractiveness Rating™.

Shared emotional joy and appreciation for your own life others makes you attractive. It makes them attractive to you, it solidifies relationships and creates security and it should be your foundation for any kind of relationship with people you choose to let into your life and build a future with.

In harsh honesty, people who think that money is a factor in finding happiness in a relationship are typically the same people that pursue wealth to be attractive in the first place because they don't know how to connect with others emotionally and comfortably and receive all the problems and horror stories that go along with that mindset, and don't make an effort to give and receive love in their lives and get security that way.

There's literally billions of poor people who love each other and are happy. It's because people can find joy in each other and stop worrying about anything but that joy and love they give each other, and maintaining that feeling in each other.

globeglobeglobe · 2020-05-18T20:54:59+00:00

It really is a shame that in American society, money talks. You mentioned in the past you work in retail---if you're living paycheck-to-paycheck, with consumer debt, rent, and perhaps student loans, finding a partner who makes a bunch of money becomes an appealing prospect irrespective of any actual attraction. You're an artist---if at all possible you should try to find a romantic partner through that community, where hopefully money is less of an issue. I'm really sorry if this comes across as a bit callous, but it's a shameful societal problem.

Coollogin · 2020-05-19T18:02:58+00:00

Move to the city, where cars are a hassle and no one wants to bother with them.

H2orocks3000 · 2020-05-27T00:29:18+00:00

Sadly it works extremely well

H2orocks3000 · 2020-05-27T07:55:39+00:00

If not straight money, they are at least attracted to ambition or afression cues in the direction towards a capacity to go out and produce, wheathrr its learning constantly to grow, or figuring out how to go out in the world and bring home bacon.

I think subconsciously they respond to that type of stuff.

redditmastery · 2020-05-19T09:18:32+00:00

Just say you have a lot of debt. They'll be gone before you can blink.

dreamerdylan1111 · 2020-05-18T21:17:58+00:00

Just downplay your resources.

Downplay your job title or just fake a low-level job; live frugally, and dress frugally too. This way if a woman is attracted to you, it won't be because of resources but because of you as a person.

CitrusyDeodorant · 2020-05-18T20:41:10+00:00

[removed]

Title	I really do not want to attract women with money
Author	defo18
Upvotes	20
Comments	35
Date	May 18, 2020 7:49 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/gm8p7g/i_really_do_not_want_to_attract_women_with_money/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/i-really-do-not-want-to-attract-women-with-money.667815 https://theredarchive.com/post/667815