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Failure to internalize TRP after 4+ years. Can therapy help?

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May 26, 2020

I've known about RP for more than 4 years. Devoured many RP books and articles. Most RP concepts make total sense to me both in the context of evolutionary biology and today's society.

If I browse AskTRP, I can find good solutions and identify issues in people's pleas for help, often coming to the same conclusions of the most upvoted or EC's comments. I'm not claiming to be a RP expert, but I do seem to understand what should be done in most situations to hold frame and maximize attraction.

Yet, I am completely unable to internalize it. Even though I lift and have a purpose in life, my self-esteem is still shit. With new women, I do not get easily invested, but I still doubt myself at every step of seduction and find myself posting here because I don't know how to reply to a text (that I would be able to easily reply to as an external observer).

With women I am attached to (e.g. multi-year LTR), I am a complete mess. I cried in front of my LTR multiple times because she was acting cold or unaffectionate, or because I didn't feel loved or I didn't feel like my sexual needs were being met. I know exactly how I should act and how I should control my emotions, and I know exactly that my LTR's behavior is often just a shit test, but I cannot control myself. I don't know how she hasn't dumped me yet.

My rational brain gets completely overridden by my emotional brain because of my poor self-esteem and my cravings for companionship, love, and sex.

I lie to myself that I'm "redpillled", but I didn't internalize anything. There's a part of me that sees the bullshit and understands how to thrive in a RP world, but that part is suffocated by the insecure and bluepilled one.

I even took testosterone with the primary goal of suppressing my emotional part (and secondary goal of improving my gym performance), but it didn't make a difference to my personality.

I want to vent. I want someone who can help me kill the bluepilled part of me, and help me become the man I want to be. I feel like I have made zero progress in all these years and that the RP knowledge I have is wasted on me.

Would therapy help me at all? Is there a way I can identify a therapist who is not completely bluepilled that would understand where I am coming from?

I have had a difficult childhood (history of abuse, no father figure, raised by two overprotective aunts). I don't know if there's some deep issue caused by that that needs professional attention or if this is just by brain trying to avoid responsibility again.

Post Information
Title Failure to internalize TRP after 4+ years. Can therapy help?
Author stokacanec2
Upvotes 62
Comments 70
Date 26 May 2020 12:40 PM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Original Link
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[–]Meloxian104 points105 points  (30 children) | Copy

A lot of people have a lot of opinions, here’s mine; daily habits that are good for you will change your life, they did mine; 1. Set a bedtime that gives you exactly 6 hours of sleep (+ 15 minutes in bed to fall asleep; no phone) take melatonin before bed to help you fall asleep. Go to sleep and wake up at the same time daily. This will fix a lot of problems. I try and pick a bedtime around 10 hours before school/work or so, the goal is to maximize your time in the morning when you’ve got energy, so say school starts at 8, then I’d say sleep from 5pm-11pm then grind afterword 2. I do a dream journal immediately afterword 3. Then I make my bed 4. A cup of coffee, tea, lemon water, a multi vitiman, a motivational video, clean your face and check the scale 5. Meditate for 20 minutes while jogging - YouTube has some guided meditation that’s great 6. journal for 10 minutes, use the phrase today I... (will do blank, or want to do blank work wonders as a way to get things flowing. This should all take 50 minutes or an hour at most.

  1. Gym time - 2 hours; I’ve found upper/lower split works best alternated with mma (2 hours of mma on those days) and a 30 minute cardio burn in the end, alternate cycling, running and swimming. I try and listen to a podcast at the gym or an audiobook also.
  2. Cold showers, not necessarly ice cold but at least the same temp you’d get in a swimming pool.
  3. Pick a hygene routine and stick to it: exfoliator, moisturizer and sunscreen for starters, and charcoal toothpaste is bomb.
  4. You ever seen that scene from the wolf of wall street? Beat your chest like the alpha you are in the mirror, no joke it feels good.
  5. Cook your own breakfast, Gordon Ramsay is who i like to watch
  6. Reading - a trp book for 20 minutes and ten minutes on a Philosophy, either Buddhism or stoicism;
  7. Watch an AMS video and a Charisma on Command Video, also Charisma Matrix

Around 4 hours for all of this, total around 5 hours.

  1. Learn a language - Duolingo to start, Id actually recommend 2, alternate them, ex: Russian on Monday and French on Tuesday, pick one you’d like to learn and one that’s difficult like I did. Get two crowns on duo, watch an occasional video on it;

  2. Play guitar - 30 minutes, they’ve got good tutorials on youtube.

  3. Learn to dance - 30 minutes, same deal as above

  4. Yoga - puts you in a positive mood and strengthens your core like crazy - 10 minutes a day is all you really need

  5. Cook your lunch - Gordon Ramsay 30 minutes

  6. Take a 20 minute nap to give you energy to get through the rest

Total that’s 2 hr and 30 min; around 7.5 hours total.

If you have to move some of this stuff around it’s fine, but make sure you set aside time to work on your purpose, minimum 1 hour, ideally 2 hours a day 7 days a week. For me it’s writing novels, so I do that on my lunch break at work;

Everyday: don’t jerk off to porn, try not to at all

On your off days from school/work here’s your schedule - off day 1.

Forget the normal schedule - all day this is what I do: toastmasters public speaking, fishing, improv class, hiking, voulenteer, weekly shopping and a date night, either take someone but usually take myself out, just depends on how I’m feeling.

On off day two I do a dopamine fast, that means no external stimuli that produces dopamine at all here’s what you can do; clean house, meditate, walking, sitting in nature, writing (book), garden, blog and water; no food, tech, or talking, basically my day a week to be a fucking monk.

If you want to do therapy do it on off day 1, and don’t break the bank, but in my experiance before I started this routine around a year ago I was where you are - massively depressed and suicidal, but I fixed myself without nobody else’s help, and that gives me confidence like mad. I’m not perfect, I’ve still got a long way to go I still get depressed one day a month, usually on my fuck off days, but I have an idgaf mentality, I feel like I took myself from a peasant to a prince to a motherfucking king by my own hand and that’s a feeling no redpill book can give you, cause hell if I can do that then I can do anything, and I didn’t need anyone but myself to do it.

Remember don’t be looking for females, if you happen to find them then great but if not who gives a fuck, you’ll have no time for oneitis, no time to be depressed, you’ll have massive purpose and massive improvement. Plus you can always invite a chick to do something you were already scheduled to do.

your most common spots, or mine, to find chicks will be the gym, or the mma place, dance class if you do it, cooking class if you do it, in the park, improv, shopping, voulenteer, and during a date night a girl may give you choosing signals, up to you whether or not you get them.

Good luck

Edit: every two weeks or so I take a do nothing day, where I just basically fuck around; it keeps me from burning out and reminds me how good my routine actually feels. Dont feel too guilty about missing a day here and there, this is a rigorous schedule, but I try and remember that my time is limited, and every second I don’t use wisely is a second I waste. If you miss a daily thing or two that’s fine, remember if you do 80% of this list it’s still more than 99.9% of people do, and all provide great benefits.

Edit 2: forgot to mention friends, you’ve got four friends already through these habits - First yourself that’s the person you’ll be spending the most time with so treat him like the chad he is, second AMS is a legend, third Charisma on Command helped me out a ton with general social dynamics and charisma matrix with more specific social dynamics, those are your four friends; I’d say one best bro or maybe two who have the same goals as you in real life is a must, but don’t go looking for them, it’ll just happen long enough after hanging at the places you do as those are self improvement spots, just make friends/talk to the people there, not everyone you’re not trying to waste all your time yapping like a female, but strike up a convo on occasion and you’re bound to connect with a dude or two, and at least one or two of those will end up as a best friend.

[–]_nein_danke28 points29 points  (4 children) | Copy

This is an amazing comment but kinda feels like you’ve maybe missed OP’s point. It’s not that he doesn’t know or misunderstand what he should be doing, but that doing such things has not integrated TRP into his deeper mindset or settled down to his natural/mental/spiritual core.

[–]Meloxian6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

Look, If someone does everything laid out on my list (also proper nutrition/water, that wasn’t mentioned) I firmly believe within a few months all of the issues he mentioned on his post will be gone. I believe everything on here is a positive for the mind, and positives tend to compound. I’ve found this list makes the brain the best it can be, and when the brains at its peak it naturally gives you a lot of alpha things; a strong frame, relaxation, conviction, charisma, positivity, and many others that are the same stuff as what’s on the sidebar.

I can almost guarantee that OP hasn’t followed this list, as even most TRP guys do only a quarter of this stuff, and that’s way more than the average person. So I’m saying do everything on here, not 10% or 15% but follow this list 100% to a T.

Not just the normal 3 things that most people do, or the normal 6 things that most redpill guys do, but all things on here for even 6 months and almost all mental problems will be so drastically reduced they’ll be nearly non-existant. I went from someone suicidally depressed to someone who hasn’t thought like that in over a year doing this stuff.

However, If you follow this list 100% and do everything on it and still are having issues than something is seriously fucked up with your brain and you should absolutely seek professional help. Don’t get me wrong. Though at that point, a psychiatric Manual, medicine and a straight jacket is much better than anything the redpill, or self improvement in general can provide and should be takenS

[–]teabagabeartrap0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Russian on Monday and French on Tuesday

Nice, Now I say "Gedir krassne plochet?" in a french sounding voice!

Thank you for all the effort of the post. I am not OP, but I will read and re-read it. Sounds like it will burn me off if I go straight to that schedule, but surely I will incorporate a few of the things!

[–]bigmacked40 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Completely agree with everything you've said. A lot of the stuff you've mentioned are the things a CBT therapist would suggest. Good on you for having worked them into your lifestyle.

[–]_nein_danke0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Dude that’s so weird this is pretty much the advice I give out myself. My theory, very in line with yours, is that no single one of those things will help a great deal, or solve any issues, however all of these small changes add up (“compound” as you say) and overall they create large scale change. I’m actually working on a Mental Health Compendium, a blog/encyclopaedia that has entries alphabetically for advice such as this, under this theory.

Don’t know if your gym has a sauna or steam room but they work wonders for the heart and for mental health too.

I went from the proviso that OP already followed a strict regime but maybe I’m wrong.

[–]XC_863 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy

What do you do if you have a ADHD diagnosis that makes it harder to implement something like that than for people without it?

[–]GrooveDive0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm not advising since it's illegal and expensive, but you should research microdosing if you haven't looked into it. Interesting alternative to amphetamines.

[–]Meloxian0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

This is going to sound a bit blunt, but for myself I don’t make excuses, I was given the hand I was dealt and this is my attempt to make the most of it, I don’t know much about ADHD, but I’d say if you need to make a tweak or two you’re more than welcome too, just know the closer to this the better the benefit. This is more of a template I guess than an exact science, for example you could replace guitar with piano.

my opinion is the same for everyone - autistic, disabled, no matter what you are the facts are the world doesn’t give a damn, so you’ve got to press on anyway and work harder to be the best than most people, it sucks but that’s how it is.

[–]XC_860 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks Meloxian,
it's kind of hard trying to find a mental model or wrapping your head around that fact, that you always have to work from a position of less power and nobody can't see it, as if for example you would have an amputated limb for example and try to run as fast as others over 1000 m.

I do think working as hard despite the fact is still better than using the diagnosis as a crutch, but I do think it will take a long time to wrap my head around it this.

[–]drcube2000-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just keep making excuses for yourself and use your diagnosis as a crutch.

[–]SICFJC3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

Learning two languages at once is a bad idea. And duo lingo isn’t the way to do it. Learning one language is a full time investment and takes years.

[–]Meloxian-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

I disagree man, I’m not trying to have guys become natively fluent, just at minimum A2/B1 or conversationally fluent so they can talk to native speakers, duolingo is more than capable of getting people to that level.

Is it perfect? no but it’s great at creating the habit of language learning in someone, taking them from a beginner to intermediate. It’s better for someone to do a bit of French/Russian daily because it’s easily accessible on duolingo than to do it once every couple of weeks when they remember in some random online classes, it’s the same mindset as weightlifting, a short session hitting squats is better than no session at all.

Absolutely it takes years, but that doesn’t mean it has to be a full time investment. It seems like you’re gate keeping people from learning a language if they don’t want to dedicate 6 hours a day every day for ten years - the truth is they don’t need to.

I see it the same way as mma; mma doesn’t have to be a full time investment, even a casual will eventually get to black belt status after enough time, you can learn more than one martial art at a time, ex: bjj and boxing, sure you won’t progress as fast in one area, but you’ll get a more rounded skill set in the end and that metaphor extends to this list, it’s about making the best overall well rounded man.

[–]SICFJC0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

No, 6 hours a day could take a year for a level 1 language like Spanish or Italian.

[–]Meloxian0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, that feels like a red herring; what I said was just an example, my point still stands, it’s better to do a bit every day, than a lot only one time

or in the words of Bruce lee “I fear not the man who has practiced 1,000 words in Spanish for one day, but the man who has practiced 1 word in Spanish everyday for 1,000 days, as he actually knows how to speak Spanish and hasn’t forgotten/given up on it.”

[–]TSM_Bjergson1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is amazing stuff man, thank you.

[–]salezman121 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

There is a lot here and I agree with most of it, normally id just upvote and move on, but I just had to stop and say that I strongly agree with picking a difficult language. Learning a language that does not use the Latin alphabet has been one of the most mentally stimulating and fulfilling things I've ever done. In my case, I chose Japanese, but learning Russian, Arabic, or anything from the far east (Japanese, Chinese, Korean) will all greatly improve you as a person. It's not about knowing the language, but rather what you get out of the journey of doing something that just fundamentally operates so much differently than everything you are accustomed to.

[–]ivanbxng1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

How do you dream Journal bro?

[–]Meloxian0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

It’s difficult and I don’t do it everyday, occasionally I’ll miss a day, but most days a week I’ll get it down. Before you sleep remind yourself a bunch to write down your dreams, i try and do it at least 30 times as I lay in bed that way it’ll get impounded into my mind.

Keep a composite binder by your bed and a pencil maybe on a desk, so that way when you wake up and you still remember your dream you can write it down, or hell some days I’ll use the memo app on my phone.

You have around 30 seconds before the stuff starts disappearing, just write down everything you remember, start with the stuff from your earliest dreams and then your newest dreams, as I tend to forget my earliest ones first, Just write the dreams like you’re narrating a story. Don’t worry about grammar or anything, just get the ideas out, especially at first. I’ve found it helps my writing a ton, there’s some creative ass ideas in there.

Enough days at least trying to write things down, attempting the process, you’ll eventually remember what you dreamt. And then it becomes habit. And then you get better at it and can even learn to lucid dream which I’ve done 4 times since I’ve started, although I’ll usually forget and fall back into a dream-like sleep.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy


[–]Meloxian1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

For me it’s not about my feelings, although it does help me understand myself a bit more like psychologically, and also I believe it’s contributed along with meditation to me being more relaxed, I see it as kind of a bridge between meditation and journaling, that out of the way

For me really it’s just a massive creative boost, Dream journaling is what’s got me started on my purpose - writing - in the first place, it was a wicked dream that was the inspiration for a book I’m working on;

I also like the idea of lucid dreaming it’s fucking cool and this has helped me a ton; for only a minute or two a day the return on investment is super high.

[–]Merah_Statis0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

How do people deal with no tech etc that have youtube/twitch/gaming-related stuff as jobs?

For reference, im pretty sure that ~75% of all the bad habits and "bad" things i do (not lifting, sleeping in, etc) stem from the gaming i do -- but it makes me money -- i know this because ive quit before for about 6 months and my life changed tremendously.

Any advice?

[–]Meloxian0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

There’s two answers - a. If you’re making a living off tech:

I’d say if you currently make enough money off gaming or tech for it to be your active source of income/live off it then you’ve got 50 scheduled hours per week (10 hours per day) Monday-Friday to use strictly for this purpose, if you can’t manage to get enough done in 50 hours than you’ve got major problems.

I’d still recommend the two days off, especially the second day off from tech to reset your systems. Every profession out there needs a weekend.

Also I’d pick a purpose that’s seperate from how you make your money; if you’re a Tech review YouTuber, maybe your purpose is to open up some kind of tech shop or something.

B. If you don’t make a living off gaming;

Gaming goes into your language slot through the week (it’ll be moved to lunch), you can free up more time by alternating dance/song days. That’ll give you around an hour a day to stream or something.

Your two off days/weekend days look like this: off day a. You move the nature stuff (fishing, hiking) to day b these are just now events that you do by yourself, do them in secluded spots, and you can’t bring anyone with you - ever. In exchange you get around 10 - 12 hours in one day to work on your tech stuff; around 15 or so hours a week, and you can still have a part time job/go to school.

[–]Merah_Statis0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

So I work 45 or so hours a week, plus always on standby because im the locations manager, so should an alarm go off or a problem occur, i need to be there. Even if its 3am. I think i need to followup about 5 times per month, but just to give you an idea of how much time gets eaten by my job (which i like).

About 30-40% of my monthly income comes from streaming and YouTube, i basically make educational gaming content, so i deal with numbers and theory a lot, which takes time. I have 27.5 free hours a week of which i spent ~ 21 hours of streaming or creating YT content, which is a bare minimum imo.

I dont count my evening routine(martial art techniques + stretching + meditation), which starts at 10 pm, as free time. I also dont see workout hours as free time.

I do cardio days 3x a week, which is a jog, and some bodyweight exercises. And i lift 3x a week.

The main issue im facing is that when i do my gaming content or stream, im mentally so worn down, i become lazy and dont work out, or i dont do my evening routine, and i know when i quit gaming i will stick to my schedule, cause it happened in the past. This channel is something i set up in my BP days when i was still pushing 12-16+ hour gaming days.

TRP is against gaming, which i fully understand because I've experienced effects firsthand. But since its a job for me and I feel like I've really 'built' something it doesn't make sense for me to quit, also all my friends game, even my LTR of 8 years studies gamedesign and games so its hard-ingrained in my life. (Also there is always that little blister of hope of actually going viral and becoming even bigger)

Would love to hear your opinion on this.

[–]Meloxian1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you make that much money off YouTube/streaming we know it’ll just grow, so you’ve got to be bold with this, you’ve got the one life so risk everything to succeed;

here’s what I’d do, and this sounds a bit rough, but I’d figure out a way to save at least half of my income every week or as much as possible which ever is higher - even if it means eating beans and rice and gum; I’d switch to callesthenics at home to save money on the gym; follow my schedule for 2 years or until you have 1.5 years income (the extra is for emergencies).

Once that happens quit your main job and treat gaming as your main job. it’ll take up your purpose and your work slot everyday and 10 hours on off day 1; for 65-70 hours a week over the course of 6 days; throughout the year; I’d follow the schedule after that, do all the stuff to improve for 8 hours, work on youtube for 10 then sleep, then repeat; get 70 hours a week worked on youtube total;

sell all that random stuff you don’t absolutely need for youtube right now, and don’t buy anything else major before you start this.

Before you start your year follow my schedule to a T, once you hit 1.5 years income saved then for the next year don’t focus on women at all, it wastes time you don’t have, don’t be afraid to cut something like dance from the schedule to free up time, or cut down on your gym time to an hour, both of those would free up an extra hour and a half a day. Go all in, with everything you’ve got in that year - if you want to take the island burn the boats, so pay all your bills a year ahead, don’t go out very much with friends if at all, set weekly goals to do x amount of videos, perhaps a video a day; and take a weekly paycheck out of your savings each week, the minimum amount you need to be alive and breathing. Promote the shit out of your content, everywhere you can. You have to succeed.

All the income you make in that year should be put back into the YouTube channel, it should be a lot of money, every single penny, marketing especially is a big thing: do this until your savings is basically down to $0, around a year later, then reassess. Set a yearly goal that defines success and write it down; hang it somewhere where you’ll see it everyday. You’ll have to succeed, there is no other option.

[–]cockkksucker0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

good shit bro. i recommend training ur ears to be able to listen to podcasts at 2x speed. i’m still working to fully comprehend at 3x speed for audio books

[–]FlyingPigs32100 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Asking for personal help. My biggest issue is finding a sleep schedule. I thought cutting alcohol and weed out completely would help but I can’t fall asleep, especially when I know I only have x hours to sleep. I feel the pressure the fall asleep. I try meditation before bed but mind still goes back to its racing tendencies. I do about half on this list. Journaling is another step I need to take but I’m regards to not being able to sleep whether I slept 10 hours the might before or 4, I can’t fall asleep. Thoughts?

[–]Meloxian0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

For me I only set 6 hours a nigh and the schedule is rigorous, that by the time I go to bed I nod the fuck off to sleep.

That being said, the biggest thing to falling asleep is to my as weird as it seems waking up at a consistant time in the morning, everyday, that way Your body can get into the habit of producing the right chemicals to help you sleep when it’s time, and I’m always tired at night after 18 hours of the schedule; it’s mentally, emotionally and physically draining.

I’d also recommend a herbal tea like sleepy time, some kind of otc sleeping pill and melatonin, do these an hour before bed time; granted the sleeping pills especially make you groggy, so I’d drop them as soon as you fix the sleep schedule - after a night or two as they make you very groggy. Drink a glass of water also, and I’d recommend a late night snack about an hour before bed of some kind to raise your blood pressure and help you sleep, at least when setting your schedule.

Make sure you wake up in the morning, I usually set 20 alarms across the room that way I have to get up to get to them, and occasionally I’ll oversleep through a few of them and wake up at 4:45 or 5; that kind of stuff happens, or have someone wake you up - which I’ve found works best for me, know that if you break the habit of waking up early it’s hard as fuck to reset it.

Make sure you set the same sleep schedule every night, and stick to it for a few days, even if you’re tired, I’m naturally not a morning person so this is the thing I have the most trouble with; I’ve found your brain tends to give into your sleep schedule over time.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Id go against charcoal paste, add a mouthwash instead (i know this is not important)

[–]Meloxian1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I do both myself, I try to use as many natural products as possible, because all that processed crap is man-made with toxic chemicals and is really bad for your body, basically the more natural products the better and there are so many benefits to activated charcoal, that I have to use it, hell of all things it even reduces the bad kind of cholesterol.

[–]DaneelOctavius21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy

It should help. Not with TRP in particular, but you're a mess with emotions blocking your rational decisions.

Just be sure to see a male therapist.

[–]Ill_mumble_that17 points18 points  (2 children) | Copy

You need to ditch LTR and acquire 10 plates instead.

Only once you drink from the Holy Grail of abundance will you ever truly internalize theredpill.

You can read this shit all day everyday and become an autistic idiot that knows what it is, but you need to practice it to internalize it.

Therapy helps you be honest with yourself if you have a therapist who will shut the fuck up and let you do 100% of the talking. Psychologists can't fix you, only you can fix you. Talking and being brutally honest about yourself in an environment where you pay someone not to judge you can help but it isn't a solution.

Change your habits and you change you. You are the culmination of your habits.

You've done enough research for now.. Go get 10 plates. Then continue to research.

Action action action.

[–]y0ussefhesham0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed. You don't become a professional footballer because you've played a couple of games in FIFA. You need to truly practice it. Simply consuming content is not enough. Go out there! (When all of this is over)

[–]bluefingerblue0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Ok along the line of what I was gonna say.

OP is trying to use red pill themes for blue pill goals.

OP - have you ever spun 3+ plates at a time? Have you ever actually felt abundance? I have a feeling you keep getting into exclusive relationships.

In order to be able to internalize red pill, you need to know what abundance truly feels like. It’s not enough to know what it should feel like. But once you realize you can get girls whenever you try, they lose a lot of their power over you.

But when you’re still operating from a place of scarcity, because you only get involved with one woman at a time, you’ll never understand how easily replaceable they are.

Easier said than done, but if it really matters to you, dump your girl and put in the work to spin multiple plates. Then once you’ve mastered plate spinning, you can think about an LTR again.

[–]rockyp323 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is what I feel happens to most of us on here.

The people that shit on you here have they truly internalized it? Or they just trying to convince themselves? What do u think the success rate is???

I have no gucking idea but I’ll tell you without doing all the TRP shit correctly I still feel happy. I attribute that to no fap and semen retention literally I’m happy but I don’t have a purpose I could be doing other things so much better. But yet I feel good

[–]ppvknifefight[🍰] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Mad excuses and whining in your post. Childhood woes? We're men so no one cares -- You're hustling backwards. You're all lying to yourself, taking drugs and shit, nigga you need more honesty with yourself. You cannot read or think your way into solid self esteem, you must accomplish things and challenges OUTSIDE of dating. You've been reading TRP for 4 years without the results you want -- you need to let the constant perusing of this shyt go and forge your own path because you're all messed up in the game.

You cannot get to the level you want without criticizing TRP theory and forming your own conclusions. TRP is dope, but guess what, it aint the word of God and there's a zillion men out here with the results you want without reading a single thread in this subreddit.

You're emotionally conflicted and a failure because you don't have the courage to make your own decisions and is a slave to your own mind. Cravings for love, companionship and sex is completely normal. The fact that you consider this a negative or "blue pilled" is confirmation that you're confused as hell. You're aspiring to be some kind of a stoic badass and pfff, that aint you. Be more flexible and forgiving with yourself and focus on your strengths.

If you're the more emotional and expressive type, keep it within reason, but date a girl who's on the same wavelength emotionally as you. They're out here, I've dated many. No offense, but you're probably dating a thot. It's not too late -- step up or get steamrolled emotionally with this particular girl.

You're throwing salt in your own game trying to be emotionally CHAD or Mr Supreme Red Pill LORD 365 days of the year. In LTRs, you dont aim to kill the blue pill part of yourself. You mold those traits into making you a better, confident more well rounded person.

[–]JoesIcedTea1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You've got a lot of support here in these comments. Sometimes for me I forget that these comments, more often than not, are connected to souls with stories that have shaped each and every one of their lives.

With that being said, its important to surround yourself with the people you most want to emulate. In your post it was mentioned that your childhood wasn't everything you wanted it to be, maybe because the people around you weren't everything you wanted.

Give it some thought. Follow those thoughts up with actions.

Reflect what you admire, attract what you desire.

[–]wanderwhy001 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I am having the exact same situation. Have been trying therapy too but I don't understand how it will change the way I am percieving life. Although everything is ok in my life, like my finances, my health and such, I feel terrible emotionally. What I internalized during all my life is I am a disposable human being while others are not. I am tired of watching the fight between my rational side and emotional side. And it feels like it will come to peace when I die

[–]hotboyadam1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Why do you say you’re disposable and others aren’t? Im getting nihilistic vibes. Care to elaborate?

[–]wanderwhy000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Oh, thanks for the comment. This is the feeling I have, not my rational thought or my belief. Therefore this feeling or anxiety drives my actions. Don't know much about nihilism but if I was in that mindset I think I should have felt like everyone is disposable equally. My mind constantly interprets the world around me doesn't need me at all. And with women, when I hook up with one without emotion, I don't feel the strength and positivity which i could have with someone emotionally close to me. I don't want to be in a situation that is expecting happiness from women and don't know if it will ever be fixed.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (6 children) | Copy

You need life changing experiences for any of this to be able to click within you

You can’t read things on the internet and expect it become a sort of second nature

For me I never knew about red pill even when I was red pilled,

Maybe you should accept this is not for you because it’s not for everyone

[–]stokacanec2[S] 18 points19 points  (4 children) | Copy

The only sentence I disagree with is the last one. It is obvious TRP is truth. Not accepting it would be willingly closing one's eyes to how the world works.

You can't really go back once you see it.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Very good reply, my mistake for thinking you weren’t for it,

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

The problem is everyone that wants to be rp believe s they have to be some sort of badass tough guy 34 fucking 7,

Find what you like about yourself and apply the RP in your own ways,

Remember the biggest thing about trp imo is being YOU

[–]E9er0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

idk man... the TRP mask its self as a how to guide to be the perfect you can be, but realistically it’s a long long guide on how to game women really. so it’s no mystery that one of the key polarizing topics is women are feminine and men are masculine. so guys will naturally do everything they can as to appear this macho bad ass!! because TRP dictates alphas get the girls not the pussies! so you can see why guys don’t apply it to themselves and work from their. most are just racing to be the biggest bad ass

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Very well said brother, it is true being “alpha” gets women easily and being red pill is being able to see through the shit tests the bullshit not only from women but sometimes from fellow men,

Treat women with somewhat respect treat everyone with somewhat respect, speak loud and less and don’t be a pushover,

To me red pill is the only way and I never knew there was an actual term for how me and so many others are,

What upsets me is we have to categorise ourself into this as this is what any normal man should be,

That’s why when I see a fellow man upset over something so minuscule as a woman it angers me thag we have gotten to this point in the world

We are the ones women call “anomaly’s” the ones they can’t “figure out” we are the last of the true men

[–]Noodlesoupe21 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly what I was gonna say. Experience>>>>reading every time. Go out there and experience life OP

[–]acoltismypassport1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You need to get practical. There are many men like you on TRP and its satellite subs: walking encyclopaedias for the sidebar; the books commonly recommended you've committed to memory; the commandments of poon are tattooed into your brain - and yet you don't take action (or not nearly enough.)

Caveat lector: start doing, not just reading.

[–]cluelessguitarist0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hardships and being out of your comfort will help, do hard shit that will help to prove yourself of your own worth, read stoic material about men of old, practice martial arts and surround yourself with quality friends, iron sharpens iron and not just phisically but mentally. And dont overthink the redpill that much, being redpill is just being aware of how the world works and not the true end of things, use the redpill to construct healthy boundaries and then forget about it.

[–]Javares0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

For me it's just natural, what held me back was the urge to follow rules. Take the enneagram test. As a type 8 I've never had a problem. Other personalities tend to be less inclined to accept certain ideas. So take it and get a sense of how you think now and work on changing your approach. I don't know if therapy will help but yeah I'm sure it is worth a try. Gl.

[–]RivenHalf0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

How old are you?

[–]stokacanec2[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy


[–]RivenHalf1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Honestly dude you're very much still in your learn phase of life. I'm not much older than you and I'm a much different person I was even a year or two ago. Pretty much what has been said a few times, stop trying to internalize anything. Seek experience. You are going to continue to fuck up. You're supposed to. Never stop learning form your fuck ups.

[–]Ebrii0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

didnt you just crash your T levels, and now you have low t and messed up e2 which makes you a whiny bitch? Do you have blood test?

[–]stokacanec2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Bloods are fine, E2 is under control

[–]l2oland0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My advice as someone who has known of RP since he was 17 and is now 22. Meditate. Get into a deep state of meditation and then once you’re accessing the deeper aspects of your psyche plant the ideas you want to reinforce there. Meditation also helps with being able to separate yourself from the BP thinking that’s going on and allows you to act in the moment free of thought. (Which is not to say thinking is bad. Thinking is a tool and it has its place; however, the “thinker” makes a terrible master)

Learn some basic breath meditation and walking meditation. To help with the mindset of a meditator, read The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. It’s a seminal classic and has helped thousands of people including myself.

I was able to adopt RP so easily into my life due to this habit that I started when I was much younger before I even knew anything about TRP. I think it has the potential to do the same for you.

tldr : meditate

[–]OneTrueQ0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My guy, I didn’t hear nothing about plates. Boy if you don’t spin some plates asap. Keep pushing. The red pill’s primary goal is to wake guys up into properly investing into themselves and not seeing women as everything.

So, the knowledge ain’t wasted on you if women aint ruining your money.

[–]Snowboard180 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Your lack of a strong parental connection in childhood is most likely the cause of your deep deep and strong need for companionship, which is why you get so emotional. That need for companionship is overpowering any trp knowledge that you try to use.

So yes, id suggest therapy to figure that out.

[–]Musicgoon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I read this and I think it's a very good question albeit rather multifaceted. So let's see if I can help a bit.

I went to therapy for a while. I was divorcing a crazy bpd bitch. It helps, but it's really difficult to find a good therapist. I went through 4 thapists before finding someone that was trustworthy. And much to the dismay of trp she was an older PhD female. Guys will tell you to find a male therapist. That says nothing. You could get a male feminist or a straight up dumbass. Just be picky about who you select. Most therapists are female centric.

It looks like you mention a lot of times about women and their opinion of you and your emotions. So there's a few problems there with your frame and application of some of the tools trp suggests.

  1. It sounds like you're outcome dependant. You give too many fucks. You haven't cultivated IDGAF. Something to work on.

  2. It doesn't sound like you are your own mental point of origin. You concentrate on what your girlfriend thinks of you and if your using the tools and ideas of trp correctly. What's your goal or goals? Live your life for yourself.

  3. I'm a fan of customization. We can give you tools, but we can't tell you what to create with them. The tools I use are customized and calibrated to my personality. Do you know and accept yourself? I was in denial about being perverted and really sexual. It's part of me that I now celebrate instead of hide. Generic lines and regurgitated theories aren't smooth and aren't ,"your own". Get creative.

  4. Billions of women are in the world. You don't have the time or resources to bang them all or have relationships. If one leaves, or stops banging you for crying, who gives a shit? Find someone who will understand and respect you.

  5. I think this always is a much overlooked aspect of TRP, game, frame and just life in general.... Are you having fun? Are you smiling and enjoying yourself? If you aren't happy and smiling most of the time, you aren't doing right by yourself.

  6. Find your flaws, be honest about your weaknesses and quirks and fix what you can. It might be that some depression is there. But most problems can be fixed with self reliance.

I hope that helps.

[–]PM_ME_UR_NIPS_GURL0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Outcome dependence. Just own your shit and if it goes south, abandon ship.

[–]_nein_danke0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Maybe try switching lifting for cardio, or incorporate cardio into your regimen. I used to swim a fuck tonne and use the steam room after (lots of mental health benefits from both). The next day at work I would be noticeably calmer, more collected, relaxed and happier.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy


[–]Smuggler-Tuek0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is not true for all circumstances. There are definite issues that NEED outside help. Real help. Not some dudes on the internet. Don’t “avoid at all costs” just be aware that there’s good therapists and shitty ones.

[–]E9er0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

TRP is like a whole different life man! if you’ve been forced your whole life to look at objects as something you can own. then one day someone comes and tell you it’s not you who own the objects but all the objects who own you! you start questioning reality!! as a male you instinctively see how you can get the upper hand once again and remain in control. insert: TRP! however when you’ve been indoctrinated to behave a certain way your entire life. baby boy telling you to do something else isn’t something that will happen over night 5 yrs or 10yrs.... its a cynical depressing lifestyle you have to let sink into your core day by day piece by piece for the rest of your life. however if you lived in fairyland where happily ever after exists and girls love monogamy in every movie! it’s difficult not to resist TRP lifestyle and stay in a BP life. there they have eternal love and a naive innocent gf who lives to serve your wishes and commands

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Trust me what I’m about to say to you.

I’m a 32 year old man, and I have only just started to internalise this stuff.

I had a major traumatic event happen regarding my ex, you can guess I’m sure, which made it worse by my beta behaviour, it was so bad.

Only through the trauma, have I truly taken on board trp.

I don’t give a fuck about game or shit tests, that was natural for me anyway.

What is true is hypergamy. Live by the saying


Why give a fuck thinking about how your text may be interpreted; why give a fuck how you come across; why give a fuck if you do something that isn’t attractive.

Until trauma is experienced, as in a mid life crisis, it is just theory and words for most.

And PM me maybe I can help you with some of this stuff from a brother to a brother

[–]absolutelynp-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

go out there with redpill teachings in mind and see for your self how women are. I swallowed that shit faster than gatorade bro

[–]_nein_danke-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Do you have a meditation practice OP?

[–]ivanbxng-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’m kinda in the same boat as you bro. I had to go 2 years without any emotional contact with women. Luckily I had a ton of friends who were throwing parties every weeks so that was the only time I would flirt with girls and fuck them. My golden rule was to never even text back the ones that were a little bit more unique than the other, that way it was impossible to get attached. I took it to the extreme in order to stop my needy tendencies and right now I’m doing the best I can to fight a balance.

[–]IBETITALL420-2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy

" My rational brain gets completely overridden by my emotional brain because of my poor self-esteem and my cravings for companionship, love, and sex. "

I know exactly what the fuck is wrong with you. You've never truly the discovered the end game for The Red Pill.

Dark Triad Traits are the END GAME for The Red Pill. That means that everyone who discovered TRP, and if they fully practice it(not half ass it) will eventually gravitate to THe Dark Triad.

"Cravings for companionship, and love" Are Blue pill traits. Narcissism, Pscyhopathy(Dark Triad Traits) do not feel empathetic or desire such faggotry.

This isn't a fucking edge lord post. So I don't want fucking faggot ass replies. Look up The Dark Triad and it will bring new meaning to your life, you can apply it anything.

The Red Pill isn't about sexual strategy, that is one tiny avenue, it's about getting whatever the fuck you want through The Dark Triad.

[–]ivanbxng0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I’m gonna look it up bro

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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