Update: I'm the dumb motherfucker that spent a decade in the military and still offered his girl up to Jody on a silver platter. Was I a little smarter today?

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May 29, 2020

First off, for those who don't know, I am one stupid sonofabitch. I'd like to put that one down to the TBI courtesy of Timmy Taliban, but the Muj don't give out bluepills. I took that one myself, and now I have to own it.

I sent my HB9 girl to the Navy, and I'm expecting an invoice from the Department of the Navy for all the worn out mattresses any day now. Not my finest hour, and not even the funniest way I've destroyed government property. It hurts like a motherfucker, but mostly because I chose to believe a fairy tale when I know how this story ends. One way or another, Jody gets your girl.

This is fucking common knowledge: Jody is at home banging your wife right now. That’s right, Jody. There’s nothing you can do about Jody; he is your girlfriend’s friend at work–the funny one, he’s your soon-to-be-ex-best friend, he’s the guy at the bar that doesn’t care that she’s taken.

So, now that we all know how stupid I am, what did I do about it?

Well, thank God I had my boys reminding me that I was going to pieces about my girl being a Field Mattress, but kept my shit together in Kunar. My little princess taking hot loads a thousand miles away doesn't really compare to mortars coming down on my head. On both sides of the equation, I'd prefer to be sending rounds downrange rather than have incoming, but only one of those is going to kill me and it's not my girl getting glazed.

The feedback here was good too. I would have preferred to not be called a snivelling little bitch in broken English as much, but that's pretty clearly not the most insulting thing to happen to me in the past few days. Most of you guys gave really solid advice, and by some miracle, I nutted up and took it.

Big ups to u/Tambamwham who set me on a righteous path:

I know this is hard but you’re a fool if you talk to her again. I would send her the text message that I wrote out to you in an earlier comment and then I would box up all her shit and drive straight over to her parents. I would look them in the eye, tell them everything you told us, tell them thank you and good bye. And in that last final text before blocking her on everything I would also tell her that if I don’t receive my ring within one week I’m suing for it. And that she better hope the clearance people don’t call me because I won’t shit good to say about you.

I grappled with that one for, no lie, probably four hours. However, as soon as I started bagging up her shit I felt better. Not like, oh a little better, a sea change. I started filling those bags faster than her barracks buddies are filling condoms. Everything went in there, clothes, books, knickknacks, down to fridge magnets and her vibrator.

I know you shouldn't be having a come-to-Jesus moment while packing lacy panties, shipped directly for Jody to tear off, but hey that's what happened. I gave myself a barracks cut, shaved off my stupid fucking depression/quarantine beard, laced up my fucking boots and went for a 10 mile run. I was able to look at myself in the mirror and recognize myself. Turns out, I have a pretty sharp jawline, who knew?

I have been through worse, and came out better, and I did that because I remembered a few simple principles: Boldness and Decisiveness of Action, or as some say it, Speed and Aggression. You don't do shit halfway, and you don't sit and wait around if you know the only direction is forward. You set the tempo, you get inside the reaction loop so everybody is following your lead.

You know the first 20 minutes of Saving Private Ryan? You know how the GIs know that if they follow their natural instincts and sit and cower at the beach, they're all going to die? How did they solve that problem? They changed forward, into the danger, because by so doing they reduced their exposure and were able to fight through. It's counterintuitive, which is why it's trained behaviour, but it fucking works. Well, substitute Germans in bunkers for cum being shot at my girl every second I sat around hoping things would get better.

I had blocked her number Thursday, because you fuckers were able to talk some sense into me. Now I pulled the fucking trigger. I texted her mom:

Hey, what would be a good time today for you, for me to drop off (The most popular girl in barracks)'s things?

That's it that's all. After two fucking hours, I would love to know what happened in them, I got back:

Can we just hold off for today? (The Colonel) has surgery Wednesday so we are in a crunch to get stuff done today. Phone appointment with fin advisor, nurse, home repairs and (Col) work calls and a zoom

That's as may be, but I know that after 2 hours that looks more like a calculated stall than a real scheduling problem. Remember, Bold and Decisive, Speed and Aggression. So, I thought of you fuckers giving me shit if I backed down, I thought of the rooms I had charged into not knowing what was on the other side, and I thought of the fucking cum bunkers of Normandy:

(Her Mom), I’m going to be frank with you. You and (Col) have been like a second family to me, I mean that. You have both treated me with love and respect.

(My beloved Navy-issue Fleshlight) made her choices, and unfortunately she wasn’t thinking of you or I when she made them. I’m genuinely sorry that this is a consequence of her actions, I wish she had acted differently. I am very sad and disappointed about this situation and sadder still that it will make today harder for you and (Col).

Both you and (Col) are close to my heart, and at some point I would like to sit down and talk to you about this. Today is not that day.

I will be dropping off her clothes and personal effects today, by 5pm. I’m flexible about any time before then.

I would like to speak with you on Monday to discuss other logistics.

Boys, I'm going to tell you that felt so fucking good. It felt like a fucking call for fire. I just did the drills, pushed my nagging little feelings aside and did what I knew I had to do. I know I'm being a retard hooah cheeseball right now, but that's better than being blue pilled, yeah?

Her mom, after another pause replied with:

I’m sad too! I really didn’t think you were at this stage. Long distance relationships are hard. Even more difficult during a pandemic. She’s been bummed but I thought it was more being isolated.

Well, that's very nice to hear. It's not true, I don't even think her mom thinks it's true, but what a nice story.

(Mom), you and I were both in the military. With respect, let’s acknowledge what this was. (Individual Soldier / Small Unit Desalination Device) made a promise she couldn’t keep. She can keep the ring if she likes. I will be over at noon.

Bing bang boom. Done. I cruised over, shook the old man's hand and carried her shit into the garage.

Her mom was crying the whole time. Asked me to please, please take a call from her daughter. Said she was on duty today, but would call me as soon as she could. I said, well her stuff is all here and I'll work out any logistical details or missing items with you guys, I'm not interested in talking to her.

She wailed "oh but she was so surprised that you were moving her stuff out". I said, that's weird because I was pretty surprised when we broke up on Wednesday, but It's been two days, how long could it take to pack? She kept telling me how shocked and devastated her daughter was and could I please take a call, and what happened? Things were so good between us! I said, well, what we have here is a typical Jody situation.

Her old man sadly grunted. He was stoic and reserved throughout the whole exchange. Whenever Mommy Dearest begged me to take a call, he said that it was up to me, and I'd talk to their daughter if and when I wanted to. When everything was packed up and I walked over the the car, he pulled be aside, shook my hand, said I was a good man, he was sorry, he thought he raised his daughter better than that. I told him I knew he did his best, he had my respect and my door would always be open to him. He asked me, if I was up to it, to talk to his daughter on Sunday. He said that maybe she'll learn from it, but she needs to take a lesson from the experience.

I told him I would, for him. I'm not sure what I need to say, really. My word is my bond, and he's a good guy. If he needs his daughter to hear something from me, well I can only try. Mostly, between how her mom was carrying on and whatever communication must have been flying back and fourth, I want to give the man some peace and quiet by putting this issue to bed.

Now, there's nothing I need to say on Sunday, you all made that case. Actions speak louder than words, and I'm so fucking relieved that I took action. I feel like any more instruction here should probably have come from him over a decade ago, but he was probably deployed when she was the age most dads give the "fuck around and find out" speech. If anyone has ideas, I'm game.

I'm driving him to his surgery on Wednesday and we'll hit the links once he's on the mend. So I came out of this with car, house, dog and her old man. Good thing we didn't get married.

How did I do today, and what should I do next?

I think I hit most of the points that u/Tambamwham pointed out here:

No. Call him up and tell him you’ll be dropping off her stuff later. And then tell them thanks for everything. And goodbye. And if they ask tell them everything. The drinking, the guilt trips, the mom stroke call, her friends freezing you out, the planned blindside, the obvious cheating, even that it ain’t her first time cheating...and tell them you’re done letting her hurt you and you’re going no contact with her. And you’re moving on with your life.

I feel bad for her folks, really. I stayed my hand from going over the details, but when her mom wailed "what happened, why are you kicking her out?" and I said, you guys were in the military, you know, I could see that he did. I don't know what it's like to be a father to daughters, and I don't want to insult him. If he wants to talk about it on Monday maybe I can find a tactful way.

e: Many of you have pointed out that I put ultimately put myself into this situation because of my self-esteem and need for validation and approval. That's true, but I don't think there's much I can do about it in the next few days, and I think as far as this situation goes, it's irrelevant now. That's going to have to be a long-term project. Having my self-image totally tied up into external forces and signifiers is definitely why my LTR fell to pieces, especially because her star was rising in all the ways I value, and all the ways that attracted her to me. That was obviously going to be a problem, and it was.

I figure building self-image or whatever is going to be part and parcel of getting over the heartbreak and getting my head back into the game.

Post Information
Title Update: I'm the dumb motherfucker that spent a decade in the military and still offered his girl up to Jody on a silver platter. Was I a little smarter today?
Author Shackrats
Upvotes 151
Comments 75
Date 29 May 2020 06:16 PM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/669504
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/gsy5en/update_im_the_dumb_motherfucker_that_spent_a/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
cheatinglong term relationshipgameclose

[–][deleted]  (7 children) | Copy


[–]misls28 points29 points  (4 children) | Copy

Piggybacking on this, take her back and I'll also shit in your ears daily OP until either you or 7reYZVmn die.

[–]damaged_goods42011 points12 points  (3 children) | Copy

Alright OP in addition to both of these guys, if you take her back I'll shit in your ears daily until you, 7reYZVmn and misls all die

[–]Ivabighairy17 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

If you take her back I'll shit where everyone else isn't until one of us dies first

[–]thesoloronin0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Alright if anyone even takes her, I’ll shit in their ears until any one of us dies first.

[–]Tambamwham0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

He’s gone boys. He went pain shopping on the relationship sub Reddit and now he’s taking the blame. He’s taking about how she loved him “fearlessly” and it’s his fault for not committing. About how he applied to colleges near her and will follow her. Ugh. We tried.

[–]7reYZVmn0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I've just read his comments, dude literally lost it mentally. Like in a bad way not a funny way :/

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy


[–]W_O_M_B_A_T11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don't have much to add to this. Just wanted to say I enjoyed your writing style. Sounds like you're on the right path. Good luck, man.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev42 points43 points  (0 children) | Copy

Shit Went Wrong, the Fairy Tale ended and it is how it is. Keep your head up, don't do nuthin' STOOPID, an move the fuck on with your life.

She's for the barracks, now.

[–]flying-backflip8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Reading through your other post and this one, I get the sense that you have felt for quite awhile that you were invincible. Being a combat vet you probably have conquered your fear of death (mortal combat is the ultimate test) and feel like you had total command & control. Truth is, you can be the biggest chad on Earth and still get cheated on despite not losing frame. I think sometimes the mystery and novelty of a new mate pushes people over the edge.

[–]Tambamwham15 points16 points  (6 children) | Copy

Only thing you did wrong was not give some specifics. Like how she dismissed you when you called about your mom and how she’s drinking up all her and partying non stop and about how she actually planned bc to have her dad move her out and blindside you. And that you actually find it insulting that shes so desperate to talk now because Ive been getting blown off for weeks.

I know it sounds petty. But every dipshit that has ever let his cheating ex control the narrative gets fucking destroyed. You won’t believe how quick her family will turn on you. If a beautiful woman speaks, her words are taken as gospel. Don’t learn that the hard way. Seriously, provide them with a way concrete way to measure her actions.

[–]Dougtoss4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah that friendship is going to get yoink’d real fast when he hears that she cheated because OP was slapping her around or whatever

[–]Shackrats2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

I forgot to say. He asked about my mom as soon as I got there. He was really great and supportive, we had a little chat about it. It was nice to have the reassurance, and considering the context, very big of him to take the time to tell me she'll be alright and ask about how her test results were.

[–]Tambamwham2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

That’s great and all. But you gotta stop leaving room for anything but the real truth. When you meet up with them next you need to give specifics.

[–]antariusz2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

No, he needs to cut ties... they are connected to him ONLY because he was fucking their daughter. That connection is severed, he needs to move on.

[–]Tambamwham4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeh... I agree. After he gives the truth.

[–]Space_Salt0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is awful!!!

So sorry for all these people that have experienced this

:( :( :(

[–]RunawayGrain15 points16 points  (8 children) | Copy

If he wants to talk about it on Monday maybe I can find a tactful way.

First off, don't dump on her in front of her old man. You wanna maintain a classy image there. From the sound of it her dad doesn't just understand, he actually respects you and your decision.

Also, expect a deluge of nasty rumors from this girl. You done let the cat out of the bag with her parents, so the typical female is gonna be looking for a way to get even.

Next off, to complete this win, go do something awesome with your life. Use the same decision making skills and resolve you showed here.

[–]Shackrats5 points6 points  (7 children) | Copy

From the sound of it her dad doesn't just understand, he actually respects you and your decision.

That's the sad truth of the military. He sat her down for some words of wisdom back when she shipped off to basic, but he could only do so much. He wasn't there when she was growing up, and he knows exactly what happens to bored females in the military, that's a tough position to be in.

Also, expect a deluge of nasty rumors from this girl. You done let the cat out of the bag with her parents, so the typical female is gonna be looking for a way to get even.

What kind of thing are we talking about here? I mean, she already said I was a scrub who couldn't support her financially and wouldn't commit back on Wednesday. It hurt, I'm still dealing with it, but does that rumour have legs?

If she's chatting to her butter bar friends, there's nothing she can say in the Navy that will hurt me in my professional or personal circles. I'm not looking to attend a Navy O Club any time soon, so no harm right?

Finally, yeah I really need to get out of this two year cycle when I'm riding high, achieving things and then end up with a Type-A woman who wears me down, I shake all of my habits and drive, and then when I get dumped I'm at square one again.

They're always attracted to me at my apex, and they're always disgusted by me at the end. It sucks because I hate all that shit too! I'm not a homebody who likes the farmer's market and eats takeout, I don't know why the fuck this keeps happening to me.

[–]RunawayGrain10 points11 points  (4 children) | Copy

That's the sad truth of the military.

Yeah, I'm very familiar with the Jody show.

What kind of thing are we talking about here?

It depends. My crazy ex threw me under the bus and got me curb stomped by several dudes because she was trying to safeguard her image. Nowadays she might just file a false rape charge with the cops. They tend to arrest the guy and ask questions later in those cases.

I'd say any time you hear she's in town, document your whereabouts at all times just as a precaution. Most smart phones have some capability to track their movements by GPS, so turn that on and keep it on your person.

On the other hand, you get a front row seat for the fireworks when she gets knocked up to avoid a deployment.

[–]Shackrats1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Fuck. I was hoping she'd just tell her family I was a scrub and wasn't making a commitment to her (and implicitly: and that is why her cheating is justified)

[–]Tambamwham13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

This whole comment thread is exactly why you need to tell both her parents details about her behaviors and some of the cruel specifics about how Shes treated you. And that this ain’t her first tine cheating. You’ve already seen what shes capable of. You’ve already seen that her mom is capable of bullshit (even though it was small... that was just the first hour of this shit). What until the blame shifting and rewriting of history starts happening. Control the narrative with truth with the people that matter.

Head over to survivinginfidelity.com Making a post on the “just found out” forum will actually be more beneficial to you then posting here. You see plenty of examples of supportive families of the cheaters quickly turning their backs on the betrayed. Get out in front of it. And it’s actually the best thing you can do for her.

[–]dusara2175 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.

[–]Space_Salt1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy


This is so sad!

[–]Space_Salt0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Don't let one bad female ruin females for everyone.

Don't make excuses for females as 'typical female'. Hold every female up to the same standards or before you know it you'll be a woman-hater AND have accepted a shit female into your life.

There are good females out there and morality is a sexless code

[–]MarvelousWhale1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You know, I used to believe this too.

It wasn't until the last good, moral, decent female, my best friend, I knew had turned out to just be another branch swinger towards me when her ex dumped her. That was the nail in the coffin of this false hope you've displayed that I used to believe in too.

What you said ain't true. As black and white as it sounds, fundamentally, ALL. Women. Are Like. That. ALL OF THEM.

Accept it, Internalize it, and you will grow.

[–]northernCAgrown10 points11 points  (3 children) | Copy

I'm just wondering in what country "Jody" is an acceptable male name...

[–]BPasFuck2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

I grew up with a guy named Jody. He did not turn out well.

Maybe the name was to blame.

[–]northernCAgrown0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Sounds like a decent band name...A Guy Named Jody

[–]BPasFuck0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well, you'd certainly catch some response from military and military affiliated individuals....

[–]SteveSan824 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't understand why men keep doing LTRs while in the military. It rarely works.

[–]Ed4all154 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think you did pretty good. If they keep pushing you to talk to her, politely say no, I don’t have anything to say. I wouldn‘t talk to her Old man about her either, at least for a while. If you want to remain friends, great but if he brings it up, use your balls and laugh It off. If you landed a 9, you can do it again. Now Go enjoy life.

[–]DarkestShadeOfRed2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well, substitute Germans in bunkers for cum being shot at my girl every second I sat around hoping things would get better.

Good shit OP.

[–]damiksta932 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're actually a brilliant writer man some of those descriptions had me laughing out loud fr. You've done the right thing cutting her off, and as other commenters have said, yeah dive into hobbies and self improvement (though it seems your well on that path already). Well done bro and good luck

[–]OpenComparison2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Want you to know that you handled this as best as you possibly could. Remember: don't let this go to waste, stand your ground in a stern but respectable way when talking to her father and herself in the future (as you have so far, do not let emotion cloud your judgement). You are free now, the world is yours.

[–]axiscontra2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for sharing this. I learned some stuff. Good on you brother.

[–]BlueBrye2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Jody thanks you for your service

[–]monky-loves-you5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think you did alright and you'll be fine. Hell, read half the shit posted on this sub and I think you'll realize you come out of this head and shoulders above most of these fellas. Learn your lesson and make the next one better.

[–]Fabulous-Craft5 points6 points  (9 children) | Copy

Why the fuck are you chauffeuring her dad around and being butt buddies?

This doesn't need to be so damn dramatic. She was just a piece of ass who was in high demand.

It just seems like a sad attempt to keep some kind of tiny thread in this girl's life.

[–]Shackrats11 points12 points  (7 children) | Copy

Her old man went to bat for me with the VA, took me under his wing, and has been a really positive role model the past two years. We've been to ramp ceremonies and funerals together. We were on the same tour, though I was a grunt and he was brigade staff haha. It's a tight bond.

We got out on medical within a few months of each other and I've visited him whenever he has an operation. He's got a lot of pain, and can't communicate with the women in his family, on top of they don't know, they weren't there. It's nice to be able to talk about that stuff sometimes.

[–]Fabulous-Craft0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

He didn't do it because he's such a swell guy.

He did it for his daughter. You don't owe him anything other than to be respectful as you walk out the door.

If you're going to be done with her, you need to be done. Maintaining a relationship with him is just your way to weasel your way into her life.

This just stinks of you trying to keep tabs on her (for whatever reason) or trying to be the salt in her wounds. Both reasons are dumb and a waste of time.

[–]Shackrats9 points10 points  (4 children) | Copy

He was in Bosnia and the Gulf with my old man. I don't want anything to do with her, so if I have to let go of my friendship with her pops I will, but why the fuck would I want to keep tabs on her?

[–]Fabulous-Craft1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Good question. Why the fuck would you want to play golf with your ex's dad?

Like I said, it stinks of you trying to be in and around her life. Plenty of BP guys catch their girl cheating and then get off on shaming them for a period of time before taking them back.

Hope that's not you. We call it scorched earth for a reason. Her dad has to be collateral damage.

[–]ogpine032512 points13 points  (2 children) | Copy

This guy is right, although a little harsh on the truth spitting.

OP, I understand her dad was a role model to you and both your dad and hers served together, but you have to understand that the only reason he is being nice to you at this point is because he is disappointed in his daughter. Say some nice humble last words, tell him you're only pissed at his daughter and not him, and then just cut the whole family out. It's hard, but this is true. You must cut out all parts of this whore before you truly can never look back on this life situation.

[–]Shackrats4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

When you put it like that, you're right. Yeah, I'm disappointed too.

[–]ogpine03250 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good luck bro, and whatever you do please heed my advice on the other single comment I left on your post. I've done enough crawling back to women to know that it ultimately leads to greater heartbreak.

[–]brosky73311 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You dont know anything about the guy.

[–]Ivabighairy11 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She was just a piece of ass who was in high demand.

If ever there was a Red Pill quotes page, this should be the first one.

[–]Snowboard181 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Is it just me or is every post by an armed forces member fucking fantastically written and actually interesting, unlike most posts. Well done man.

[–]mrrooftops1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If an honored military col alpha can't imbue his daughter with the correct framework for strategic relationship conduct then this sub is more important than even most of you think.

As an aside: Let's hope Jody isn't a member of this sub because these write-ups are specific...

[–]seducter1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hey man fucking awesome job, I went through something similar with long distance and it’s amazing how once you see the bullshit for what it is, suddenly packing her shit goes from the hardest thing to the most rewarding thing. I love your writing style btw, fucking hilarious while also tragic. Now, for sunday, what you can expect is basically all the reasons in her mind she is now hamstering for why this happened, and guess what: she’s gonna blame you. At this point she is not who you thought she was. In fact that is the thing that fucked with me hardest. Trying to reconcile the sweet and funny girl I thought she was, with the raging slut she really was. Turns out, she was always the raging slut and the nice girl was smoke and mirrors. Don’t get defensive, don’t internalize it. Just “yup, uh huh, ok, welp gotta go!” You gave her old man your word you’d talk to her but you didn’t say it’d be long.

Lastly, you sound confident which is great, but I know you’re in pain. I was the same, one day I’m like “fuckin best thing ever dumping that bitch!” And the next day couldn’t be bothered to get dressed/shower, was in a rage. Just let it happen and dude you will be ready to storm the beaches of Pussmandy!

[–]CassWCD1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

die because of Jody, or live long enough to see yourself become Jody..

[–]BPasFuck1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy


You've done well. Better than I think anyone might've hoped, given what usually happens when guys show up begging for advice.

I agree with the folks suggesting that you find some way of telling the father just what went down. They're not wrong, about how your ex is liable to make up just about anything.

Women are nuts. And when they declare a jihad, all kinds of unexpected shit can go down. You don't have to be too excessively paranoid-- but don't let her be in your presence. She shows up at your house unexpectedly? Depart.

Dad invites you somewhere, and the mom tells her so she shows up? Depart.

All that said-- you mentioned having the opportunity to hang out with the guy 1 on 1, at some point soon. If he asks you-- tell him. You don't have to be a complete savage and give him all the dirty details. Just tell him that you realized she was checking out on you, tried to use him to move her out and blindside you, and you realized she was cheating on you with that one dude she'd talked about, and then suddenly never mentioned again.

Finally, I would also consider deleting this thread and it's predecessor, sooner rather than later. You've put enough personal information in them that if someone really gave a shit, they could identify you. Believe me-- it's very possible, and there's been several occasions in the past where blue pill cockfags have gone out of their way to dox posters on this sub reddit.

[–]Shackrats0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you for the feedback. Especially:

Finally, I would also consider deleting this thread and it's predecessor, sooner rather than later. You've put enough personal information in them that if someone really gave a shit, they could identify you. Believe me-- it's very possible, and there's been several occasions in the past where blue pill cockfags have gone out of their way to dox posters on this sub reddit.

Yeah, in hindsight, rank, age, para athlete, brought up a stars and stripes article and I'm no detective. Everybody here was helpful, but not worth risking God-knows-what.

[–]IveSawitall1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

OP was telling himself he'd found a unicorn, even though TRP has told us that there is no unicorn. Only thing I can tell you is that there is no woman you will ever meet that will be different. STOP trying to find a good girl to have family with. what comes out from between her legs is a nuclear warhead that will destroy everything. Don't settle for marriage. No need to talk too much. Take care.

[–]ogpine03252 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You sir, are a god dam legend. Keep your head high, do not look back. Your emotions will make you regret crawling back to her when she inevitably fucks you over in the end.

[–]alleyteris0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I just saw both your posts, and I have some observations to make :

1)you are indeed a dumb MF

2) past behavior in women is a a good indicator for future behavior

3)you did good by not mixing your income with that cunt


Oh,did I mention that I will also shit in your ear too if you take her back again?

[–]Tambamwham0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy

He’s gone boys. He went pain shopping on the relationship sub Reddit and now he’s taking the blame. He’s taking about how she loved him “fearlessly” and it’s his fault for not committing. About how he applied to colleges near her and will follow her. Ugh. We tried.

[–]Shackrats0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

I'm not doing anything, I'm still no contact, I'm just really fucked up and trying to understand, because at it's core, the possibility exists there was nothing I could have done, other than never tried. Which is fine, a fling two years ago wouldn't hurt so bad, but it would mean ultimately accepting never having a family.

Now the lines have been drawn.

[–]Tambamwham1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

You drunk right now? There’s nothing you could have done. Her cheating has nothing to do with you. Marrying her like an idiot 18 year old private wouldn’t have changed anything. She’s filling the container she finds herself in. If you think about it, she’s been doing that all her life. And her loyalty is to her feelings. What she feels right now is all that matters. She’s just doing the same thing she did to her lady boyfriend to get to you.

And if you talked to her Sunday, then your not no contact. And that conversation was as pointless as I said it would wasn’t it?

[–]Shackrats0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

I'm not drunk, just shaky. I'm hurting exactly as you said I would. I can't imagine how I would reconcile this in a marriage. Right or wrong, I was able to take swift and decisive action - even if it is debatable that I did.

I promised her dad, it wasn't all bad, but it was pointless.

If "those other guys" are right, and she was aggrieved by me holding out commitment and not marrying her, it didn't seem that way. I mean, she has nothing to lose now, ties are broken and her stuff was out, she could have expressed that want.

[–]Tambamwham1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

It has nothing to do with it. If she though you weren’t committed then why all the secrets and plans to blindside? Why all the typical dismissive behavior of a woman trying to push a man away in an effort to weaken his commitment to her. Do those sound like the plans of someone who thinks their partner isn’t committed? Your commitment to her is literally the obstacle she was trying to side step. She’s the one not committed. She cheated, she’s got feelings for him, and she’s diving head first into this honeymoon fantasy. Remember, she’s done this before.

Mos def once told me “the hard headed always gotta feel it to believe it.” So prove it to yourself. Put it all on the line. If your perceived lack of commitment is the problem here... then remove it as a problem. Text her right now. Tell her you got into a college near her and that your packing your shit and coming to her. Tell her you’ll marry her when you get there. Go ahead. Do it. I’d love to see what kind hamster spinning bullshit she’ll say to keep you from doing that.

Look. Get off Reddit. Head to the “just found out” forum on survivinginfidelity.com

It’s rational, experienced, expert advice. It’s from seasoned vets that aren’t influenced by any “pill” or online groups or bullshit conventional wisdom. Trust me. Post over there and give them a try.

[–]Shackrats0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

How could she both be wanting more commitment, to the point of wanting me to marry her last week and have been falling out of love for 6 months? How can it be both?

[–]Tambamwham1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you’d post on survivinginfidelity.com like Ive told you to multiple times you’d see. You’d see that literally nothing unique is happening. This is following the same nauseating pattern as all cheating women. None of her excuses match her actions for the last 6 months because her excuses aren’t true. She’s cheating, caught up in the affair fog and now she’s blame shifting and rewriting history to not be the bad guy.

[–]AlpacaStrap-3 points-2 points  (8 children) | Copy

You made a slut your everything that’s where you fucked up. Stop writing fucking paragraphs and read the sidebar

Your two posts are the most retarded shit I’ve seen all week. Are you trying to write a fucking novel?

This is why you don’t revolve your life around women. Or else you turn into a drama queen writing short stories about a bitch on an internet forum.

[–]RedDeAngelo5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

I really dont understand how some men fall in love with whores. It bamboozles me.

[–]Diche_Bach3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

It probably has something to do with the fact that some whores are hot af, totally dis-inhibited and eager to do some of the most perverted shit in the book. I know that was the appeal to the couple whores I "fell for." It isn't really love though; more like . . . infatuation.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lol you pretty much wrote word for word my own thoughts.

OP should just write smut for Woman's Weekly.

[–]longjeep20053 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

I agree. It should be a simple case of "let's see other people," "I'll be by to get my things at XX:XX time, does that work for you," "thanks nice knowing ya." And go find other girls.

I understand that for guys figuring this stuff out, a breakup can be hard. But OP, your post exemplifies the exact kind of validation-seeking behavior that you say got you into this situation. You're looking for the validation of this community to tell you that you did a great job, by telling us every detail of the interaction you had with her family. This is only going to get you into similar situations as you go on. You need to address these self-esteem issues firsthand if you want to have success in sexual and fraternal relationships.

If you are having trouble with this, I've had good experiences using psychedelics for this purpose. It may help you understand why you feel these compulsions.

[–]AlpacaStrap1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don’t know if people are just bored or what and that’s why they’re actually bothering to read through all this bullshit.

Must be the quarantine.

[–]Space_Salt1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Come onnnnn.

What is life without love... really.

You gotta go through some nasties sometimes on your way to find the good ones. It's just part of life.

This kind of attitude will lead to woman hating. Woman hating leads to an empty life with no chance of finding the good woman.

This road of going through woman that screw you over, people disappointing you and breaking your trust is hard. You need mental strength to get through it; it just IS painful and there's nothing you can do to avoid the pain.

Part of being strong is getting through it, sitting with the emotions and picking yourself up again. The prize is the right person eventually.

Feeling ashamed of having normal, human (non-psychopath) emotions does what? Nothing good long-term.

[–]AlpacaStrap-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

If you’re high value and have spun enough plates you know exactly how to avoid these types of situations.

And for the record, I have been through plenty of breakups, but never have I felt the need to vent paragraphs on an internet forum.

No one is saying to be ashamed of having emotional attachment. Just don’t be a weak little bitch about it. You should never make a bitch your life, I don’t care how high quality she is.

Love does not mean your entire life revolves around your woman. It never should. In fact, it’s pretty much the opposite.

[–]Space_Salt0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah... but how do you get a bitch who makes you her life?

Why can't you have everything? All the stuff you love in your life and the bitch you make your world?

I don't like this attitude of just becoming emotionally closed off. It makes life not worth living as much. Eventually if you want to be happy you've then got to undo alllll of that emotionally closed off stuff again and risk losing good women inbetween.

I am female, full disclosure. Just from experience, I've been down that road of becoming emotionally closed off. I honestly think it just gives power to the asshole that hurt you. It's hard to stay open and still be ok, but it is 100% possible.

I must be an optimist but I do believe that even if 95% of people are out for themselves etc, the 5% are worth staying open for.

You'll still take the same amount of time to get over it whatever route you take.

(Agree though short-term good idea to just throw yourself into making an aspect of your life outside of relationships better and sort of shelf it for a couple of months until you're in a better place to think about it. Just don't make it years not months or they win!)

[–]iliketorunn-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

i’m like jody, i don’t give a fuck if a girl has a boyfriend, if he’s not with her at the bar or club, i’m gettin her

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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