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8 month LTR - I want to eject. Advice please.

Reddit View
May 29, 2020
139 upvotes

Hi AskTRP,

35M. Fucked up and moved in with girl I liked (27F) - against my own judgement (never again).

As I predicted, sex drying up / being used to shit test. I have other options, but I don't want to cheat.

I don't care about lease. I am financially strong.

Thinking of playing this 1 of 2 ways tomorrow:

(A) I tell her "I am fucking someone today. Is it you?" And then either banging her or banging someone else but it isn't cheating at that point as far as I am concerned.

(B) Sit her down, end it and then discuss who is moving out.

I need to regain frame here. Suggestions?


Post Information
Title 8 month LTR - I want to eject. Advice please.
Author throw_away_alkie
Upvotes 139
Comments 87
Date 29 May 2020 01:52 PM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/669545
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/gstduo/8_month_ltr_i_want_to_eject_advice_please/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
framecheatinglong term relationshipshit test
Comments

[–]RahLyt461 points462 points  (9 children) | Copy

Go with A because I need some entertainment during this lockdown.

[–]lvpvsdacvs107 points108 points  (1 child) | Copy

This might transform into the funniest rp thread. OP keep us informed please

[–]babybopp22 points23 points  (0 children) | Copy

I vote for A

[–]mrrooftops29 points30 points  (1 child) | Copy

Go with B THEN A

[–]burn-all-bridges4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

You monster lmao

[–]ignoremeghostboo46 points47 points  (0 children) | Copy

“If you’re going to wreck a room, WRECK A ROOM” Mistery

[–]VigilantSmartbomb10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bahaha always plan a

[–]April15Hater2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is the right answer.

[–]abomba242 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lol nice to have plan b but you know what to do

[–]freeagent108183 points184 points  (10 children) | Copy

Oh boy. Option A, but try fucking her first and if she says no THEN tell her that someone is fucking you today whether it is her or not. You tell her you need to be with someone with a high sex drive and if she can't do better your going to seek alternatives or seek a whole different partner. Try to word it a little better though.

[–]Budfox_9240 points41 points  (3 children) | Copy

This. Please listen to this guy.

[–]freeagent10821 points22 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yeah. Approach conflict level headed and with tact. People do not respond to ultimatums well.

[–]RagingMayo1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

So how should OP phrase it?

[–]freeagent10817 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

at gunpoint with an N95 mask. Safety first kids.

[–]VigilantSmartbomb14 points15 points  (3 children) | Copy

Honestly i like how you worded it. Girl is 27, a shittin on this man in his prime. She dumb lmao

[–]freeagent10816 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't settle guys. We are the prize, never forget that. They are a pretty face that will sometimes bang you but you will be paying for it long term and they get no better over time, only worse.

[–]falconiawillfall1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Does he carry himself like a man in his prime though?

[–]VigilantSmartbomb1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Either way it’s the fact of the matter, if he comes to the realization which he did then she dun goofed- especially now

[–]entrep46 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

You're*. Good points though

[–]freeagent1080 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

yeah I know I have gotten lazy with that.

[–]RedSkeller81 points82 points  (8 children) | Copy

Dude why the fuck did you move in together. I'm 33 and I've done that dance a couple times to tell you that shit will never work - I'm sure you've done the same at 35, it's not going to be different. Just tell her you want her to move out and give her time to find a new place. If she can move back in with her parents by Monday then tell her you want her out. If she's some sort of orphaned refugee from Sibera then yeah give her more time. Take all your shit that is worth anything either to you or valuable and move it to a friend's place or your trunk (bitches love to thief on the way out - RIP my childhood super nintendo, books and other trivial items my ex took). Make sure she leaves the key and depending, you may want to change locks.

Any sort of "discussion" on why you ended things will end up with her crying (trying to guilt you), then spinning things back on you, then anger when she realizes she can't control you and might get violent. Best just to tell her you want her out and then leave or disappear until she's gone. She'll try to do anything to let her stay, like fuck you or guilt you, so try not to be around for it and stay strong with your decision.

Best of luck.

[–]GratificationDelayed11 points12 points  (5 children) | Copy

Dis right chere

[–]babybopp15 points16 points  (4 children) | Copy

Did you see the dude on Am I the asshole who had a project car 1967 Impala in good condition and only 70k original miles that he was working on. Moves in his girlfriend and she starts bitching about the car. He has had it towed and he is working on it. He loves the car and has dropped 11k in restoring and parts. He goes out of town for business for two days and comes back and finds she is very loving. Of course he goes to his garage and lo and behold, she fucking called junk yard people to tow the piece of junk away... they came and took his car for nothing. Now he is on that sub crying whether he is an asshole or not for suing her.

Update: he filed a complaint of grand theft and grand larceny against her. He also got his car back as the junkyard dudes were trying to hide it

[–]rebirthandrecover4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Unreal

[–]dareealmvp-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

Good! Narcissistic control freaks like her deserve some good prison time. I can only hope they have gangrapes in prison like they do in male prisons. Seeing how lesbian relationships have more instances of domestic violence than gay and straight relationships, I have an inkling my hope might just be true.

[–]GlowInTheDarkDonkey1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

You might want to seek some therapy. This isn't an appropriate reply... basically ever.

[–]dareealmvp-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

A lot of men are gangraped in prison and nobody seems to care about them. When women demand unrealistic amounts of alimony and child support and send their exes to prison for not being able to keep up, do you really think they're not wishing gangrape on them? I didn't even do anything towards that direction, just wished.

[–]Jasperbeardly111 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm unsure if this is 100 percent true or just 92 percent true hahahaha

[–]Iluvalmonds8341 points42 points  (7 children) | Copy

You need to understand the WHY for the dead bedroom(yes, moving in was a huge factor to this) and the shit tests. Take a hard look and see if any of this is happening:

-realizing you overlooked significant red flags while vetting for ltr

-becoming comfortable with each other and slacking off in relationship efforts(also common when living together and seeing each other everyday)

  • taking each other granted / acting unappreciative of the other’s efforts

  • becoming physically unattractive to the other party(hygiene/grooming/fitness going to shit)

When a man loses his frame and overall stops leading the relationship correctly by allowing above mentioned behaviors to exist in relationship dynamic, it starts falling apart. The woman is forced to take on the extra burden of keeping things afloat, which she will resent you for (usually by withholding of sex, increased shit tests, etc).

Aside from the first one, you have the means to course correct the issues if you can reestablish frame and get yourself back in the steering wheel . When you move in with an LTR, the factors that made a relationship exciting(like distance, not seeing each other frequently, going out on dates, etc) are changed and you have to devise new ways to maintain it. Unless you plan on playing LTR on hard mode indefinitely, you should consider moving out, with or without saving this relationship.

Going Rambo on her out of nowhere and issuing ultimatums that don’t actually fix underlying problems is what a retarded beta simp would do. Don’t be like that OP.

[–]Raw_American_Steel4 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy

Is moving in together almost always bad for a relationship? I'm new to rp theory

[–]treehauz14 points15 points  (3 children) | Copy

It is because you get rid of competition anxiety on the girl. She has you. You are in the pocket. No excitement. No fun. Committed male. It's like a dog with a leash.

From her subconscious mind: He can't go far. Eventually will come back and validate me and prepare me breakfast for sex. Maybe I can force him to pay all of the rent as well. (They become a drug dealer and abuse feelings by cutting down the supply.)

The problem is it doesn't matter how nice or good hearted the girl is. They are not aware that they are doing this. They do it without bad intentions. It is coded in their dna after tens of thousands of years of evolution of finding the best father(alpha male) to their offspring. If you commit to her into same house, they subconsciously start to think you're not alpha enough..

[–]RagingMayo6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

What I don't understand is how are we supposed to build families, if moving in is always bad? I mean I want to be a father one day and be there for my kids. I want to be there and be a male role model and not let my kids - especially sons - be raised by a single mother like I was. If we followed the rules of only fucking women, never moving in with them and probably never have families, then we would be extinct or be left by a hoard of weak men raised by women.

[–]idevastate9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's not always bad. It's just that men tend to become complacent betas. You never stop dating your LTR/wife, or someone else will. You never give up being you. You ever see those married couples with the dad pushing the baby stroller walking behind the mom? Don't become that guy.

[–]Iluvalmonds830 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It is more than not; it’s significantly harder to maintain a healthy level of dread and also excitement/ desire in a relationship. Also, it leaves you in a vulnerable situation especially when you don’t intend on marrying that person within the next 6 months/year.

So many people jump right into cohabitating with someone who is a bad fit for long term; when shit hits the fan it’s messy getting out once you combine living spaces.

[–]robbiedigital0011 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is the best answer on here, its either work out where youve lost frame over time, sort these out by working on yourself and combine that with dread.

Or break up with her but if you do this have everything in place so its a clean break with no bullshit

[–]porkmissiles18 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy

I have tried a gradual breakup before in a similar situation. It doesn't work. Just break up with her.

One of the most important points to remember here and always is that you can't negotiate attraction. Both A and B seem to be attempting that.

[–]caius10016 points17 points  (1 child) | Copy

Fuck another girl in the living room while she is watching to assert dominance.

[–]Freedom__Fighter1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This OP! You need to grow up and start lamenting the women!!

[–]cryocai40 points41 points  (0 children) | Copy

A and an update for us all

[–]TFWnoLTR20 points21 points  (0 children) | Copy

B, but don't make it a "discussion". There's nothing to discuss. It's over, do you want to stay here? Yes? I'll be moved out in a week.

Don't engage when she starts playing her mind games. Women don't discuss things, they manipulate emotions.

[–]nightdecoder17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

A-bsofuckinglutely

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev31 points32 points  (4 children) | Copy

You can't negotiate attraction, so your version of "A" is out. Dread has to be more subtle.

I'd opt for dumping her.

Start with: Dear LTR, I am breaking-up with you then mix/match the follwoing:

A. "It's not you, it's me."

B. "I feel like I am standing in the way of your dreams."

C. "You deserve so much better than what I can give you."

D. "It's not fair to me, it's not fair to you, and it's not fair to the guy who could REALLY love you the way you DESERVE."

Then stick the dismount.

[–]CasualPlay3r3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Man this is some genius level shit right here. instead of going all alpha macho vibe you drop this nuclear level beta bomb and leave her wondering "what the fuck is he talking about???".

she cant blame you. she cant guilt you since you are (supossedly) putting her first.

she cant get mad at you without sounding like the asshole.

she wont know what hit her. brilliant checkmate.

[–]aDrunkenWhaler6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Best answer by far

[–]J-Unleashed1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I will forever give the D.

[–]CDBaller0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Uncle Vasya always brings the gold.

[–]1DullIntroduction22 points23 points  (0 children) | Copy

(C) Tell her it's over, gtfo and find a new place.

[–]mrbill123413 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you are being shit-tested with sex - there is no long-term prospect here.

[–]comcain19 points20 points  (1 child) | Copy

B. Stay firmly in your frame. Don't be angry, just rock solid firm. Personally, I like the option of getting some U-Haul boxes and packing tape and start packing her shit up, but garbage bags also work.

"This is what's happening. You're moving out."

Don't get drawn into an argument (she'll try). Then she'll try the waterworks. When that fails, she'll try to seduce you. Don't be fooled, she's testing you to see if you have any weak points. She'll push any buttons she finds mercilessly.

Be certain you have no mixed $$ in accounts, etc. She'll hit the ATM first thing.

You'll get blamed. Be unmoved. This is her fault and she knows it. The louder she screeches, the surer it is that she knows it.

Good luck, brother. Be sure to get your key back.

Cheers

[–]satellite7791 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

In most countries you can't legally evict someone with a day's notice. Your suggestion can work only if she wants to move out. Otherwise, he has to move or they have to live together till one finds another place or is evicted

[–]EscobapRablo6 points7 points  (7 children) | Copy

When did the sex begin drying up?

[–]ya_stepdaddy24 points25 points  (0 children) | Copy

The moment she stopped chasing his validation

[–]throw_away_alkie[S] 20 points21 points  (5 children) | Copy

Thanks for asking this. To be honest, it hasn't really. Been consistently about 3 times a week since day 1. But the effort it takes to get her in the mood is going way up. Tonight she got into bed talking about having a UTI. In my mind, she should have blown me as she knows its been a few days. Then she says "Are you mad?". I laughed it off and said of course not - and take it for a shit test.

I don't know man. I just can't be bothered. Honestly, would be easier and more fun to try and bang a new woman at this point. Just the hassle of moving her out now. Oh well, lessons have to hurt me before I learn I guess haha.

[–]HypergamyDoesntCare5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm faced with the opposite issue, I can have sex whenever I want but I'm slowly losing attraction to the mother of my child. I'm getting better looking she is hitting the wall hard

[–]MagnumBurrito10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

fuck her in the butt

[–]sjensen5150 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What’s the issue with banging other girls in the meantime? You don’t owe her anything.

[–]Hseen_Paj3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

If you are already walking on ice, might as well dance!!

[–]Ebrii1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

ooh i like this saying

[–]vyrulence4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

everyone already pointed out the errors you made.

HARD NEXT her dude. don’t try any fucking mindgames like the alpha you aren’t. tell her you’re moving on and throw her out. if that’s not an option YOU move out.

next time don’t cohabitate - you won’t be in this mess and you can just walk away.

[–]Yashugan005 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Option A.

- depends on the delivery.

Best case: your frame is strong, she still respects you, and you can playfully resolve this with and keep relationshit. You should not have to outright ASK for sex though, it can be a real turnoff for women.

.. can also be seen as an 'ultimatum'. So make sure you can follow up on this. Be prepared to not come home that night without explanation. Your relationshit is effectively over, though she'll probably "reclaim" sex you on the way out.

regarding option B.

- When have you ever sat down with a girl, calmly discussed options and came to a rational, solution oriented conclusion? ... without it dramatically blowing up in your face?

Also spoiler alert, the 'who' is going to move out: spoiler alert, it's you.

As to 'how' to accomplish this.

Never from a position of weakness. So your step one would be to find a new place.

Overall:

For penance of co-habitation with a woman:

- Recitations 99 x "The 9 Iron Rules of Tomassi", particularly #4

JK, we've all been there.

(mine was: she cut all my clothes and threw them out the window)

Your property is not safe while you're living together during a breakup, as many youtube clips can attest to.

[–]axiscontra1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

agreed lol. play it cool while your stuff is in there haha.

[–]coldestmichigan5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

The real red pill option would be B . Dont listen to these other clowns . But give her no options , just tell her you are ending it and this is not a discussion.

[–]paint-the-world-red2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Option A. Let the games begin

[–]Stargazer343 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

A and please record the audio of the conversation and subsequent freak out!

[–]1MrTheFalcon1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don't think you need to phrase it as an ultimatum. You don't need to make a big deal out of it either. Just tell her in passing that some things have changed since the move-in, and that you need more sex. Then dress like you're going on a date every time you leave the house. Look your best. The medium is the message. It will encourage her to keep you sexed-up.

If the sex dries up again (or anything else isn't working for you), it's probably time to split-up. In that case be straightforward and civil. There's no going back, even if she begs. Just figure out the logistics of the living situation, and show love and generosity, even if she doesn't. Maybe you'll remain on good terms, maybe you'll have to next her. That's up to her, and how she handles herself.

Personally, I don't think you made a mistake. Moving-in, getting married, any LTR is just more challenging. You learned some things, and that will help you avoid issues in your next LTR, should you choose to have one.

[–]Domebeers1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Going from zero dread to the final stage of dread is going to be...interesting. Getcha popcorn.

I'd just disappear a lot more, instead of going with a or b. I mean, get hobbies, get busy, have other shit to do. If she is going to be a frigid bitch, then you have other shit to do with your time. If she is putting out, then you have time for her. She will pick up on this and then it's her choice, really, whether she changes her behaviour to keep you around or not.

Remember to flirt with the waitresses when you take your girl out

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Move out before doing anything else or you'll have to live in a toxic environment

[–]Xkirbyx1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you have nothing to lose, freshen yourself up wear your best clothes and once she starts asking questions let her know put out or I’m out. Go out with some friends or find a side. She’ll either shit or get off the toilet

[–]warthundersfw1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I did a soft A when it came to bj’s but in a “ if you don’t I’ll find someone who will” way. She woke me up the next morning with a bj

[–]new__vision1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Option A is what's called "the nuclear option" at the married redpill subreddit. You usually only go there if you've gone through the 12 steps of dread (essential reading) and this has not resulted in an improved sex life. Search "The 12 Step Plan of Dread". It's a plan to move the relationship back into your frame and rekindle the sexual desire of your LTR. Even if you break up it will be better if you're following the 12 steps because they make you more attractive in general.

[–]TxnyMontana0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don't waste time bro, go for B and end this quick.

[–]oozzoonnee0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Why did you move in with her? Also why are you dating a woman who's at the prime age for wanting kids

[–]beardestbird0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

A please.

[–]SeasonedRP0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Get another place lined up then move.

[–]alleyteris0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Find a new place first, move you most valuable things there and tell her it'd over. Option A is for betas who think that they can negotiate sex

[–]tacosattack0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

B makes more sense. You're not there to get butthurt, you're there to do a job and that is to eject with minimum drama. My advice is to deal with the breakup now, then worry about finances later. Ie you should just move out, then later you can sort the lease.

At least I did it that way and it worked out pretty well for me.

[–]kriskros180 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

A sounds more fun, Either way, record and/or have a friend with you. Last thing you want is her falsely alleging dom violence. No pussy is worth that.

[–]Diche_Bach0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If it is your place, then tell her "You need to move out. How soon can you move out?" Offer to help her find a new place; it is the human thing to do.

If it is her place, then find a new place, then tell her you're moving out. No drama, no games, no fake passive-aggressive high school bullshit. Just tell her: I found a new place. I'm moving out. The movers will be here in about an hour . . . do it. Done.

(A) is childish, but not actually as hard-core and decisive as (B).

Do you seriously want to "negotiate/extort" this woman for sex!? You're better than that. It is over. Move on. It is only a matter of logistics at this point.

[–]W_O_M_B_A_T0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

(a) is pretty savage, but either way, you kind of expect the plug has been pulled on the relationship is at this point. At best she'll agree, have freaky hate-sex a couple times. Then she'll rethink the decision the next couple days and start backsliding into bitchitude, while pulling some real desperate attempts to suck you back into orbit.

Don't let a sudden uptick in the quality of the sex change your resolve to NEXT her. Remember you had to threaten to go full-nuclear before she was willing to be submissive to you, out of pure desperation. Don't let her "reset" your clock for leaving.

[–]Bungeeeeee0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you really do have other plates lined up, then B with some kind of "it's not you, it's me" variation. You lost frame, she lost competition anxiety = loss of attraction. You always need to try more to get her in the mood and you don't feel like a man. You lost your way and became soft, but it's salvageable if you detach and work your shit out and looking for other plates can be done in the meantime in case it doesn't work out.

[–]spartan_samurai0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Tell her : It's Me, not You.

And wait for the drama to unfold.

[–]IXseed0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

There's something about "levels of dread" in MarriedRP. Check it out and implement.

TLDR is work on yourself and slowly withdraw attention.

[–]lord_ah0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you don't care about lease, just leave...

[–]IrvineKafka0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Eject.

[–]lelucif0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Update, mans

[–]ThatNights0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

!remindme 1 day

[–]Otec_Fedor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Option B for sure



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