Girlfriend of a year and a half broke up with me over text, started hoeing around immediately

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June 1, 2020
120 upvotes

I've been dating this girl for around a year and 5 months and it started as a dream. She was everything I wanted in a girl. Great listener, my best friend, absolutely beautiful. It was the most fun I'd ever had in a relationship. I was and still am head over heels in love with her. Tooting my own horn here, I have been an amazing boyfriend. I take her on dates, give her random gifts, love her as well as I can.

She started getting depressed about a year and a month into our relationship and we basically completely stopped having sex. She stopped being emotionally available and we never saw each other anymore. She's from my hometown and I'm in my college town 2 hours away. She went to college with me last year as well but now she's back home with her family because she doesn't have an apartment like I do. A couple months ago she asked if we could take a break and I was completely against it. We continued dating until last week she decided she was taking a break and we stopped texting and talking cold turkey. The weird thing is a day before she wanted to go on a break we face timed for hours and I had a great time and I thought she did too. I was planning on going back to my hometown to see her and we would hang out. I requested off 3 days of work so I could focus on her and be with her. As soon as I got to my hometown she decided we should go on a break so I was stuck wallowing for a few days before I headed home.

I have been in contact with one of her good friends who is just as confused as I am and we decided that I should send her a thoughtful text message explaining how we should have ground rules if we are going to actually make this break work. After I sent her that, she did want to even respond. I had worked like an hour on the text messages I had sent and they were literally perfect, she had nothing to complain about apparently. Then she sent me a text an hour later telling me that she thanks me for the relationship but she doesn't think that she is the one that I am supposed to spend the rest of my life with. She said that it's time we grow apart. I had a terrible panic attack as soon as I saw that message and her friend was not happy with her for leading me on. I've had the worst anxiety I've ever had this last week or so. I feel so alone. There was little to no explanation for why she doesn't want to be with me and what I did wrong but everyone I have talked to tells me that I have done literally nothing wrong. I sent her one last message explaining that I'm confused and I asked her why. She didn't respond to that message, so I sent her another a while later that literally just said "I deserve clarity" and she proceeded to block me on every social media, including my phone number.

Yesterday I learned that on our break she downloaded tinder to try and find and talk to girls. She told me she's bi about 2 months ago. I also learned that she went to a party and fucked some guy I went to high school with after we broke up, she was supposedly looking to fuck anything breathing and moving. Someone I've known since preschool. My family is members at the same country club as his. I had a conversation with him the last time I went home. She's apparently fucked a girl, and a few more guys. Her and two of her friends decided to make a game where they got points for stuff they do with guys. She was winning by a lot. They stopped that game last night because of her mental health. When she went to that party, she stayed the night at her friends house who lives two houses down from my house back home. She drove by my house knowing what she did. I can't stop thinking about her body on his, something only I have had the ability to touch and love. This has to be a rebound, something to try and get me out of her head. I think this hurts worse because she told me how she was never horny and didn't ever want to do anything sexual in any way for about three months before we broke up.

I want to wait for her. She's coming back to the same college next semester in a few months. Only 4 months ago she was head over heels in love with me. A couple of my friends have been telling me that eventually she'll smarten up and at least explain to me why she did this. All I can do is wait until then.

If anyone has any input on my situation I would love to hear it. At this point I'm just venting because I don't know what else to do. If there's anything else you would like to know, leave a comment and I'll answer. Thank you all so much.

TL;DR: Girlfriend broke up with me after a year and a half. I'm confused, broken, and hurt. I don't know what I did wrong here, or what I did to deserve this. She started sleeping around and it hurts to think about.

EDIT: currently reading the sidebar and hahaha holy shit. Thank you guys for the help.


Post Information
Title Girlfriend of a year and a half broke up with me over text, started hoeing around immediately
Author JDSooners
Upvotes 120
Comments 136
Date 01 June 2020 11:03 PM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/670488
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/guv85g/girlfriend_of_a_year_and_a_half_broke_up_with_me/
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Comments

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev313 points314 points  (23 children) | Copy

Girlfriend of a year and a half broke up with me over text, started hoeing around immediately

Welcome to the "Light Switch Effect."

I've been dating this girl for around a year and 5 months and it started as a dream.

A blue pill dream. The deadliest kind.

my best friend

Any time a girl refers to her boyfriend/husband as "my best friend" she might as well be saying "We have a dead bedroom."

I was and still am head over heels in love with her.

I see where you went wrong.

Tooting my own horn here, I have been an amazing boyfriend. I take her on dates, give her random gifts, love her as well as I can.

How'd that work out for you?

She started getting depressed about a year and a month into our relationship and we basically completely stopped having sex.

But hey, at least she was still your "best friend" right?

She stopped being emotionally available started riding other cocks and we never saw each other anymore.

FTFY.

A couple months ago she asked if we could take a break and I was completely against it.

She was already taking a break, she just wanted it to be "official".

I was planning on going back to my hometown to see her and we would hang out. I requested off 3 days of work so I could focus on her and be with her. As soon as I got to my hometown she decided we should go on a break so I was stuck wallowing for a few days before I headed home.

Yeah, so she was trying to get YOU to kill the puppy, but you forced the issue when you showed up.

I have been in contact with one of her good friends who is just as confused as I am and we decided that I should send her a thoughtful text message explaining how we should have ground rules if we are going to actually make this break work.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! WRONG ANSWER. Also, never ask a woman for advice about women, they are shit at it.

After I sent her that, she did want to even respond.

"Hey, anyone see THAT coming?" <All of AskTRP raises their hands.>

I had worked like an hour on the text messages I had sent and they were literally perfect, she had nothing to complain about apparently.

You CANNOT "negotiate" attraction.

Then she sent me a text an hour later telling me that she thanks me for the relationship but she doesn't think that she is the one that I am supposed to spend the rest of my life with.

Translation: "I WANT OUT! Will you PLEASE fucking GET THE HINT?!"

There was little to no explanation for why she doesn't want to be with me and what I did wrong but everyone I have talked to tells me that I have done literally nothing wrong.

Remember all that pussy-ass "I'm such a sweet boyfriend! Toot! Toot!" It was that shit.

I sent her one last message explaining that I'm confused and I asked her why. She didn't respond to that message, so I sent her another a while later that literally just said "I deserve clarity" and she proceeded to block me on every social media, including my phone number.

Clarity: You dried her pussy out. No more tingles. She will now proceed to bang every Outlaw Biker, Escaped Mental Patient and Drug Dealer she can lay her hands on.

I also learned that she went to a party and fucked some guy I went to high school with after we broke up, she was supposedly looking to fuck anything breathing and moving. Someone I've known since preschool. My family is members at the same country club as his. I had a conversation with him the last time I went home.

Yeah, and? She's not yours, it was just your turn, and now that turn is OVER.

She's apparently fucked a girl, and a few more guys.

Stop obsessing over her sex life.

Her and two of her friends decided to make a game where they got points for stuff they do with guys.She was winning by a lot.

Was one of those things "Get your broken-hearted ex-bf to send you a faggoty text demanding 'clarity'?" I bet that was worth 10 points....

She drove by my house knowing what she did.

And? She's not going to "feel responsible" or "guilty" or whatever you want her to feel. She feels nothing for you.

Nothing.

Get used to it.

I can't stop thinking about her body on his, something only I have had the ability to touch and love.

Yeah, well, lots of guys are having that ability right now. And some girls.

Stop putting the pussy on a pedestal.

This has to be a rebound, something to try and get me out of her head.

Or maybe she was a giant slut all along?

I think this hurts worse because she told me how she was never horny and didn't ever want to do anything sexual in any way for about three months before we broke up.

Because she lost attraction for you.

I want to wait for her.

No.

She's coming back to the same college next semester in a few months.

Great. You will have a front row seat to her sexcapades with ... everyone else.

A couple of my friends have been telling me that eventually she'll smarten up and at least explain to me why she did this. All I can do is wait until then.

Doubtful.

If anyone has any input on my situation I would love to hear it.

You thought you were here.

Right now you are here.

You need to get over that bitch, pronto, or when you are both back at college, you will be here.

Sidebar. Lift. Monk mode. Go fuck ten other women. Don't throw your good heart after bad love. Do not waste another minute thinking about her because that is just more time she will steal from you.

[–]alphaonthecomeup76 points77 points  (8 children) | Copy

Sadly OP. Uncle Vas is spitting the facts. You’re gonna hurt a lot and it sucks. But you need to FOCUS on your self and stop worrying about her. It’s rough but you have no choice but to move forward now.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev76 points77 points  (7 children) | Copy

Hey, it’s not like I want to be right all the time, I just am.

[–]babybopp51 points52 points  (6 children) | Copy

You are a good man for taking time to break it down to OP. I stopped reading when he said “I took 3 days off work to focus on her needs..”

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev56 points57 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yep. The kid has no idea what he's doing, and he just got ass-raped by Cupid. But that's why we're here.

[–]alikebabay9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't throw your good heart after bad love. Ass raped by cupid. Да вы поэт, дядь Вася.

[–]IveSawitall13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

I almost threw up. Dude was bluepilled as fuck. swimming in da soulmate myth.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Why do my eyes hurt?"

"Because you have never used them before."

[–]ThrowawayYAYAY20029 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Seconded. Fair play, Vas. You're a good man.

We can all learn from you/this. Thanks.

[–]RPOpenUp15 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

Huge appreciation to our EC Vasilly for taking his time to basically 101 the entire RP in a minute. However you HAVE to read the sidebar. All the info Vasily provided is right, but if you read through the sidebar you WILL be able to answer all those questions yourself.

That's basically TRP. You do You. Thanks again uncle Vas for taking your time, but READ the SIDEBAR

[–]Zero-Milk12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

The top-voted comment is the top-voted comment for a reason. You have a choice now, OP, now that a mirror has been held up in front of you. You can either admit to being a lovesick simp who fell for the fantasy and change the way you approach relationships, or you can stumble headfirst into the future where you'll find yourself repeating history over and over again.

What's it gonna be?

[–]bottomLobster22 points23 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is golden explanation, I wish someone had told me exactly this when I was 20.

[–]babybopp2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This kid made uncle vas spit some truths. He should fuck that good friend and see how fast that btch get in line...

[–]Stupyyy7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

This guy helped you out.

[–]glowing_dolphins10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

Great read. Deserves a column with submitted stories.

[–]alfred31111 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

OP is really lucky to get a reply from a legend

[–]jhx26416 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

Holy shit this was like reading my thoughts before I even thought them. I'm so glad someone took the time to unpack all of that.

[–]Tater__thot17 points18 points  (1 child) | Copy

Wtf who is this guy hes a legend

[–]mrmaika1018 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy

That’s Vas, resident RPer and yes, he’s a legend.

[–]Cerohero6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't pleasure your women, make her suck you

[–]BriefcaseHead21 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

fuck you ruined this mans whole career and gave him the path to enlightenment. My laptop was at 3% battery and I really wanted it to last through all of your comment. It did, im grateful I read all that even though its not for me. Thanks

[–]Hadabah3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ether. Nas.

[–]awakenedspirit10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is probably the greatest red pill introduction ever. Playfully welcoming him into the tribe.

Leave us alone over here. Let us turn boys into men.

[–][deleted] 220 points221 points  (5 children) | Copy

My names Dr. Dick. Your diagnosis : Oneiets

Suggested treatment :

  • Fuck other women
  • Find what you did wrong, learn & fuck other women.
  • Focus on what actually benefits you in life.
  • Meditation
  • Go Lift
  • Read/ Re-read sidebar

[–]nightdecoder61 points62 points  (4 children) | Copy

"I can't fuck other women, she took 2/3 of my heart and it hurts me"

[–][deleted] 42 points43 points  (2 children) | Copy

"Focus on what actually benefits you in life. "

"Read/ Re-read sidebar "

If I hear there's this one girl... I immediately copy and paste my response above.

[–]javisms9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

I like this you are a better man for helping this man the second time

[–]vwowv3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Focus on what actually benefits you in life. "

Needs to be said twice

[–]Cerohero0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Haha

[–]Rkingpin119 points120 points  (5 children) | Copy

You're so deep in a blue pulled fantasy I dont even know where to begin.

You sincerely believe your girl is a unicorn when the reality is she is a raging whore with low self respect. Putting her on a pedestal like you were doing was the fastest way to dry her pussy.

What you need to do is go and digest the sidebar and get your mind back on track. No time to waste crying over vagina

[–]babybopp27 points28 points  (2 children) | Copy

I took 3 days off work to focus on her...

That is where I stopped reading. Dude is so blue pilled I almost spat out my coffee.

[–]log_19877 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

I thought this was the dating subreddit till I read the comments. Surprised to see someone so blue pilled here.

[–]IterMercator7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're so deep in a blue pulled fantasy I dont even know where to begin.

Yup he sure is, and with any luck this should be he's awakening since he just received a double dosage of the red pill from this event

[–]vwowv3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

This just popped in to my head. I won't know what I'll think about it till tomorrow.

"Only Unibombers believe in Unicorns"

[–]grandorder12355 points56 points  (1 child) | Copy

It’s funny because you think the way you acted made you the perfect boyfriend when in reality it killed any attraction she had to you.

You broke almost every rule in the sidebar and it definitely seems like you haven’t read it.

Good news is it’s the perfect time to swallow the red pill and forget about that ho.

[–]Nergaal9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

think of how much of teh sidebar he coulda read in the time he wrote the essay above

[–]2319Skew24 points25 points  (2 children) | Copy

Be thankful for the opportunity to grow, the fact that you didn't have kids and weren't married. Ball's in your court.

P. S Read the side bar.

[–]vwowv3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, this is a good time to understand why you should never marry. I've been with the same woman for 30 years. Never married. Honestly, for the first time it's been a bit shaky in a concerning way. It might be the end of my turn. Doubt it, it's probably just a rough time that will pass, but I'd be the least shocked if, we, two people parted.

[–]Cerohero0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Air is sweet

[–]ToldYouNotToWorry_37 points38 points  (1 child) | Copy

The weird thing is a day before she wanted to go on a break we face timed for hours and I had a great time and I thought she did too.

This is actually a very common thing before break-up/complete ghosting. Not sure do they do this out of guilt or as an ultimate shit-test known as pull-back, but it is very common.

They usually know weeks if not months that they're not feeling anything and want out, some girls get guilty about it and forcing a shit tone of nice emotions (but usually still no sex, like we say all the time, don't listen to what she says, watch what she does), or sometimes not guilt but a ultimate shit-test to see if a guy can do without her. It's sounds retarded, but in her mind, the way to get her is to completely get rid of her, paradoxical.

Anyway, block her everywhere (you might get some breadcrumbs after some time, but they are breadcrumbs, don't ever get your hopes up, if you do she will respect you even less), do not try to get in touch with her ever again, it's gonna hurt for some time. There is no solution like "do X to get Y" so trust me just stop trying to find one, especially don't fantasize about "winning her over again" life is not a Disney or rom-com, Oneitis will melt your soul if you do not move on. To move on, lift, meet and fuck other girls, surround yourself with friends, take your time.

After some time, you will feel nothing about this girl. You and your relationship are not unique in any way. We've all been there. Ultimately, it's gonna be a great lesson for your future relationships.

[–]knuglets8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is actually a very common thing before break-up/complete ghosting. Not sure do they do this out of guilt or as an ultimate shit-test known as pull-back, but it is very common.

You're right on the mark. I've had and heard of girls want to go on a vacation right before they pull the plug. They justify it as "one last good memory" when in reality it serves to leave the guy with good vibes and then completely blindside him with the breakup. This way, she gets more validation via "I need clarity" texts and shit while going into the rebound phase. Basically, more justification for her to say "Look, he was a pussy all along and he's still drooling after me. Glad I left him"

If you anticipate this coming and then flip the switch by breaking up with HER first, watch as she blows up your phone begging to stay with you. Only to try to blindside you weeks or months later so that she gets the final say.

[–]RedSkeller13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah I was shocked when my unicorn ran off and immediately starting hitting up shitty bars around town and fucking some straight up dirt bags. It was a surprise honestly, but it's also the moment when AWALT clicked for me. Girls just want to have fun/be irresponsible teenagers. At some point I came across her signed into her email account on my computer and that's when it really hit me. I saw numerous Lyft and Uber receipts in her mailbox, she must have been going out almost every night for months, probably fucking all sorts of dudes who I won't ever even know about. It really sucked and hurt, so much so that I wasn't eating and felt broken.

So what happened? Did I give up? Curl up and die like I wanted? Fuck no, I woke up and did the best I could every day and slowly, I felt better. Fucking new women is the ultimate cure, just bang a bunch of them and by the 10th or 11th girl, you'll be over your ex. That and time. The most detrimental thing is to sit around and think about it or to go back to her before you've completely healed.

Let me know if I can help any further, best of luck.

[–]RabbidMan14 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy

Jeez buddy, sorry to say but you are blue pulled af. When the relationship ends that's when you see their true colors. Realize the person you loved never existed, this was just a image in your head. I use this tactic even with new 9s and 10s in my life. Because I know what they're projecting to me is a hologram. A fake. These women only love on their conditions and will release the Jezebel spirit once freed. You can heal from this and become badass. Become a great and powerful man. But you literally have to accept that it's over. Accept that healing begins once you focus on yourself and stop paying attention to what she is doing now. Shes single. She can fuck whoever she wants. She already has. So instead of worrying about the shoulder, could, woulda. Worry about yourself homie. Lift, eat healthy, improve your fashion, get on your purpose, maintain frame and fuck bad bitches. Realize that we men are not designed to actually love these women. We're designed to spread our seed. Also seeing and understanding how things work from a biological perspective helps too. At the end of the day, we're still animals.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]vwowv6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you are blue pill you are going to do full blue pill. It may be 26 fuck ups, but it's really 1: the blue pill mindset.

[–]highcapybara26 points27 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your girl leaves you, blocks you, goes jumping on dick after dick and you come here whining about how she's wonderful, asking why she did that, and saying you want to wait for her?

Why should a whore respect you? You don't even respect yourself.

[–]Transport12721 points22 points  (9 children) | Copy

I was laughing the whole time reading this. I can’t tell if this is a troll or true story. Seriously, how long have you been in this sub?? This is VERY VERY basic stuff that you should know

[–]JDSooners[S] 10 points11 points  (8 children) | Copy

I was told to post this here. I had no idea about red or blue pills.

[–]vwowv5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Stop orbiting your EX and go in to orbit reading everything you can on this subreddit. Remember when Darth Vader got his limbs cut off? It's going to feel like that for awhile, embrace it. No need to go to the dark side, but surviving this will feel like you did. Hush out the cognitive dissonance by keeping busy reading. You will go through 'The anger stage' You want to get past it quickly but realistically it will take some time to get past it. It will take time to absorb what you learn here, and then it will take time to live it from an internalized perspective. You are looking at a typically 1-3 year cruise.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well, you just got red-pilled, HARD.

What you have to decide is: "What happens next? Do I sit around and mope about how unfair shit is? Or do I LURN and get better?"

You're lucky you found this out now. Imagine if you'd married her, had a couple of kids and then she pulled this shit? It would be a nightmare.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

It was a good man who told you to post it here, they might have saved your life.

[–]Decimus_Stark5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Listen start reading Rollo Tomassi's Rational male blog stat, start with "There is no one", and "the soul mate myth." Better yet pick up a copy of "The Rational Male" and "No more Mr. nice guy." by Robert Glover

[–]nayvote0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This all makes more sense now. I was like "how could this guy even know the red pill exists??"

[–]Transport1270 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You have a long way to go buddy. Sidebar is a great place to start your journey.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]TRPCops[M] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Newbies are welcome, this is ASK TRP.

[–]masterduelistky13 points14 points  (6 children) | Copy

I experienced the same, but we gotta realize when we get comfortable is where we start fucking up. We think we're doing the best in our minds as of to what she wants, but what she think she wants and what she responds to are two entirely different things. All this stuff likely turned her off, no matter how good intentioned it might have been. Once girls know they have you they don't get that turmoil that they need.

[–]JDSooners[S] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

I understand and accept that.

Still baffled that she immediately becomes a whore after she breaks things off with me. Why the fuck is she doing this

[–]lolomotif1224 points25 points  (0 children) | Copy

She didn't become a hoe, she always was one. AWALT.

Go read the sidebar. Go read "The rational male" by Rollo Tomassi.

[–]masterduelistky8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think every guy here has had this happen at least once. In my case at least, it was when I first started to internalize the pill.

She checked out of the relationship months before when she asked you for a break. That's why it doesn't bother her in the slightest, her attraction was dead by that point. My ex did exactly the same, and I thought like you that I would try harder to keep her not knowing that it would only push her away.

I know it hurts man, believe me. It took me years and it does feel unfair as hell, but consider it a blessing and try and move on. She only cares about how you make her feel in the moment. As long as you remember that you'll be straight.

[–]_nein_danke1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dude be incredibly thankful you just found TRP. Most find it after a horrendous break up like this, but you will get some HARD truths thrown at you. People will sound like they're being harsh toward you, but we don't believe in sympathy toward stupidity or blue pill ideals.

Once you start reading the red pill and it's ideas, what happened will all make perfect sense to you. It will also start you on a path to becoming the very best version of yourself and to never be fucked over like this ever again. There will be some harsh truths to swallow, but it's not named 'the red pill' for nothing.

[–]Monkitail3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

She was always a whore dude. It’s not like being a superhero where a life event suddenly changes the course of your life. That bitch was born that way

[–]jrr6415sun1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

AWALT don’t try to rationalize it

[–]macheagle6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

Sorry to hear OP, but you dodged a bullet. I must ask though, if you don’t mind. Are you from a broken home? Say, divorced parents etc? Because needing a partner to be emotionally available, be a great listener, etc are generally effeminate traits that are the natural needs of women, and often times for men who grew up in single parent or broken homes. I have had way too many friends with this exact situation and traits so it is more than just a correlation. I just thought I would ask so that if so, then the self-awareness may help you.

You’re extremely young. Some of us were only redpilled in our 30’s here, and the later it is, the more we have to pay for our mistakes. You have to pay virtually nothing due to your age. So there’s a ton of upside. Never forget the sidebar and start working on YOURSELF and freeing yourself from the need to be externally validated by women. Become internally validated by yourself and yourself only. Only then, will you be ready to lead your life and a relationship, if you wish.

All the best to you.

[–]JDSooners[S] 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

Growing up I really resented my dad. He’s ex military and it is his way or the highway. He still pisses me off to this day because he’s so fucking stubborn. I’m almost exactly like him in the way he acts.

My mom on the other hand I hold in a very high regard. She’s loving and kind and yet stern. She gives excellent advice. I never talked to my dad about my relationships with women because it just feels weird. I’ve told my dad “I love you” only a few times in my life, and vice versa. My dad is still an excellent man and very successful, I just don’t connect with him the way I do my mom. I think I took on my mothers emotional standpoint, I have a huge heart and love to give things, whether it be gifts or my time and energy, as well as give benefit of the doubt. I’m always optimistic, never pessimistic.

My home isn’t “broken” and my parents are still married after 25 years or so.

If there’s anything else I can elaborate on let me know. Sorry for ranting like a beta bitch.

Edit: I also apologize a fucking lot

[–]macheagle2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for your response, this helps clarify a few things and also sheds light on your situation.

We do not need to be from a “broken” home to be affected as an adult by the dynamics of how we grew up when we were kids. Your situation was similar to mine in that my relationship with my mother was better than that of my father. This creates a variety of issues particularly for young men and of course also for young women.

The leader of a household is the father. Our species was evolved from the man being the captain of the ship, the protector, and the provider. We cannot escape evolutionary biology in this century or the next, as it took millions of years for natural selection to work itself to this point.

When we have a sour relationship with our dads or we resent them outright, we take on less and less of his naturally masculine, dominant traits necessary for becoming a young man ourselves later on. And as we take on more of other mother’s traits, no matter how much of a leader or good adviser she may be, we become more effeminate and gravitate towards becoming natural followers rather than leaders. This is why we tend to become outwardly expressive, need good listeners, and need people around us to be emotionally available around us. All of these are textbook feminine, follower traits that complement masculine, leader traits. Like me, you were basically brought up as a daughter, and not a son. You will need some serious inner searching to recalibrate your mindset going forward.

The masculine leader traits exercise emotional restraint. We are stoic. We express emotions, but they are positive, reassuring, and restrained. This is to naturally balance out the females’ emotions and expressive nature which are always anxious (stems from anxiety) and their need to feel secure. You have been brought up to have this need (like I once did) which is not natural in men.

As a male, you are the rock/anchor in the storm. You are the captain of the ship with the sole responsibility to ensure the safe and smooth sailing of your first mate and your crew. That is your woman and your family. You are the most stoic person in the ship, and your first mate and your crew rely on reading your tone of voice and body language cues to determine how they themselves should feel. If you present a calm, level-headed state, they will too. For this reason, they are the natural followers.

It took me more than 20 years to realize this and than another 10 years after that to gradually work on this. From being the most outwardly expressive and emotionally needy male to now a generally stoic and calm has completely changed my life and relationships for the better. I had to learn this the hard way.

Make sure of the following as you age:

  • You are completely happy and at peace with yourself regardless of whether you are single or in a relationship. Your self-esteem is drawn from within and not externally by the validation of others, particularly women (because none of those are guaranteed to be permanent).
  • If you were anything like the young me - emotionally expressive and needy, the best advise I can give you is STFU more often please. Literally, shut the fuck up. Let people talk. Let women talk. Listen. Listen more. And then listen some more. Exercise emotional restraint, exercise finesse, exercise tact. Understand the power and value of silence. Understand the natural attractiveness of mystery. Understand the power or a man of few words.
  • Women are creatures of speech. Men are creatures of restrained action generally, or full-blown action when needed.
  • Remember women are the gatekeepers of sex. Men are the gatekeepers of commitment. If you are the one asking for commitment, then you’re a faggot. Don’t be that beta faggot that women will always end up resenting in the end. They want leaders.
  • Understand what shit tests and comfort tests are. As you age, you will encounter them more frequently.
  • Understand SMV and its curves for both men and women.

There’s more, but those are great starters. Read everything in the sidebar, watch YouTube clips of Jordan Peterson on male and female traits - Dominant vs Submissive. He talks specifically about those who resented their fathers and/or mothers, and the effects on adulthood and relationships. Become extremely self-aware of your own shortcomings as a result of your past. Read “The Rational Male”.

Some day, all this may save your life.

I wish you the very best, younger bro.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

She gives excellent advice

And presumably she advised you to be nice to women.

Part of growing up, young padwan, is realising that your mother has an agenda and that her advice about women is somewhere between 99.9 and 100% wrong.

[–]Glennus6264 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'd work on fucking her friend, and forget she even exists. Your turn is done.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

[removed]

[–]TRPCops[M] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

3d ban zero value add

[–]Joe_Doblow5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

She’s been hoeing champion. Go do you

[–]Scheme008 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

This was hard to read. Of course she left. You have a lot to learn, this is a good place to start. The ironic thing is that your behavior drove her away, not hers.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just my opinion, I’d block her and I’d work on yourself for a while in the gym and on you career/studies. It’s gonna hurt for a bit. Blocking her will help you not contact her and for her not to contact you. I think message will come across as I don’t accept what you did and I don’t want to fuck with you anymore. I think that will help you move forward and be in the present instead of dwelling on the past.If you could sleep with other women thats great. If you don’t feel like you’re ready don’t jump into it to fill a void. If there were any behaviors that you did or that she did while in the relationship, would definitely look at the sidebar to see if anything that happened between you two looked familiar. I’ve been in your position, I’m 24, had my first girlfriend a year ago who broke up with me and got with someone 2 weeks later. It felt like the end of the world because she was the only girl I’ve been with. I was depressed. I thought she was the one girl for me (lol).I found this community and read the sidebar and fixed my mistakes that I applied on myself and NEW women. I left my ex behind and never looked back. You should do the same. Like I said it might hurt for a bit but there are so many women out there dude. Lol like a lot more who are just as good or even better than your ex. You’ll be alright.

[–]Senior Endorseddr_warlock3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

She was fucking other guys while 'with' you. She just made it official with the text. You were a chump that got played. Use this as a lesson and never be that guy again.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

I was where you are around 3-4 months ago. Trust me when I say this, I am 32, and it happened to me. Be glad it happened whilst you were younger which I assume you are.

Literally acted like a fucking beta bitch begging for herback and all that cringe shit. I got blocked, still am lol but I don’t fucking care anymore. Turned up at her house uninvited, told her I wanted to marry her one day. Trust me the way you acted will be the hardest part to get over out of all of this, not the bitch.

Now I’m hooking up with woman, got dates lined up, lost a shit ton of weight, hitting the weights, trust me brother it gets better.

That woman is a hoe! Leave her be, she ain’t worth your time.

[–]jhx2642 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I know what you mean and it sounds like you owned up to being a beta bitch and made the needed changes, but it bothers me that you preface it with "this happened to me "

I imagine from your exes perspective, she's asking herself how could this happen to her! She thought you were something and then you got serious and you turned out to be something else. She just wasted some precious years of her decaying ovaries with you.

You let this happen.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I agree completely. By all Hollywood standard I was a good boyfriend. Was step dad to her two children and a good one at that.

Thing is, I let my emotions run wild. It became more about her and her kids than it did about me and my own children and that dries up pussy faster than fuck knows what!

I take full responsibility for what happened. If I hadn’t acted like a beta cringe bitch in the last few months and after the relationship, then who knows.

The thing is what I’ve learnt is this:

Until you have had your heart ripped out, much like OP, then a man will never have a reason to question anything regarding trp. It is through the trauma of it all, the why did it happen, what could I have done different, why did it happen to me, os what causes the shift between truly living for yourself as opposed to putting woman on a pedestal and relying on that attention to complete oneself!

[–]alfred3111 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yours and OP experience is way better, my oneitis is a single mom, im baby sitting her child while she fucks some alpha, gave her gifts, she did not respect me and all the cringe stories, did everything beta to get her back multiply it by 10, im so fucking lucky I discovered the red pill and dodge a bullet. Now all i can remember is her stretch marks and how dumb i am worshipping her pussy

[–]vwowv2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I have been in contact with one of her good friends

Maybe you should fuck her. Figure out if that's why she's following you around.

[–]AotearoaRepublican1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

He won’t cause he’s a cuck

[–]santaprisca3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

is this a troll??

[–]vwowv2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

no, it's 90% of men

[–]IXseed4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

She started getting depressed about a year and a month into our relationship and we basically completely stopped having sex. She stopped being emotionally available and we never saw each other anymore.

This was the end of your LTR and she had your replacement lined up. Think about it this way, OP. If you were such a perfect bf, why aren't you two still together because I PROMISE it's not her "depression".

[–]BNEDub5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're in the right place.

This is your red pill moment and it sounds like this one is impactful enough for you to make real change.

Instead of dwelling on what was and is now gone and can't be resurrected this is your chance to improve yourself. Stop worrying about what she does and did do it's no longer your concern. Don't try to understand her it's just gonna do your head in and get in the way of your progress

Read the side bar and internalise the principles this will take time. Do better with the next one.

[–]RedBloodHunter2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is your breaking point, mate. You quite clearly haven't read the sidebar. That's fine. Now's the time to do it; her behaviour will start making sense as you get deeper into it.

Understand that your experience isn't unique, similar situations are what drive many users to this forum. Take the time to mourn if you must, you're only human, but ultimately you have to forget about her. She's already forgotton about you, and she's not coming back. It's a waste of your time and emotions waiting for her, that time is better spent working on yourself.

I urge you to read the whole sidebar - and Rollo's "The Rational Male" - truly commit yourself to learning the red pill mantra, it will serve you well, but the particular segment called “the light switch effect” is probably the most relevant to you right now if you want answers (I can’t provide a direct link or the auto mod bot will delete, just go to the main sub and find it). Hopefully this'll drive you to actually read the rest.

Hit the gym, figure out your goals and work towards them, cultivate a life you want, spin plates and realise that AWALT. Women ain't shit, they are a lagging indicator of success, if you're living your life for women then you're doing it wrong and you'll be miserable. Work towards success and women will come. Spinning plates for a while will help you to vet for quality women worthy of an LTR, if that's your eventual end game, but understand that this fantasy of a supportive partner who will love you and only you unconditionally through your highs and lows throughout life is exactly that; a fantasy. Show weakness and she’ll check out of the relationship, it’s just how it is.

[–]comcain2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I really feel for you, man. My brother, married 40 years, just found out his wife has been hoe'ing around while "attending trade shows". I swear, it's like she got the Be-a-Hoe virus and flipped out. My bro is a good man, he's trying to figure out what to do with all her crap she left behind. I suggested trash bags.

This shit has happened to plenty of us. It hurts. The best cure is another girl or 10. You're young so you'll have no trouble finding more homes to increase your body count.

She was a fucking slut that couldn't resist her dainty little bisexual urges to go fuck everything that moved. Please don't even think about taking her back. She done burned that bridge.

Cheers

[–]axiscontra2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Breaks mean breakup sonny. She's not coming back. I only agreed to "breaks" just so I could sleep with someone else. When I was through with her, next time she suggested a break I just cut her off. This isn't a real relationship or something we call a LTR. hang it up.

Go for a nice slow paced jogged until you cant think of anything but breathing, and do that everyday. Get on tinder and be like you women are crazy, Im looking for someone who isnt, and then meet her and fuck their crazy ass lol

[–]sans10__2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

That’s tuff.

In all seriousness don’t expect too much out of women. They’re purpose in nature is to be a cum dumpster so that the species can live on. Think about it that way.

Don’t catch feelings for something that has literally evolved over thousands of years to be a cum dumpster.

Women were always whores, it’s just easier to see now because of social media

[–]savagetwonkfuckery2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Best advice is to hit the gym everyday before school starts back up

[–]Tambamwham2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yeh she started hiding around WAY before you were clued in. But hey maybe you’ll get the honor of having her take you back once she gets back to college. Fingers crossed buddy!

[–]JDSooners[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Why do you think she cheated on me?

[–]Tambamwham1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Experience

[–]alfred3115 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is textbook beta male, we have all been there, now cry for a week, months or maybe a year, but make sure you are doing your purpose in life, lift, study harder, work harder, eat healthy and meet other girls.

Welcome to the red world, forget the no contact rule advice you will see on youtube, she will be back after fucking 20 guys believe me but never ever let her get to your emotions, delete all your social media apps, its all fake and nonsense, now continue crying, you can do this brother...

[–]jhx2645 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I would bet my life savings that this one fucked around a lot more than you know. She wasn't just not having sex, she was just not having sex with YOU.

You just gotta realize that you fucked up by falling into her frame and being all feminine and in your feelings for her. Your behavior drove her away but she doesn't want to tell you that. Blocking you is easier.

But don't beat yourself up- the good news is you're probably super young and if you are able to learn the lesson here and make some serious changes to the way you approach relationships and dating, you'll be drowning in pussy before you know it.

Chin up, and move on.

[–]OG-345673 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don’t reach out to her. Work out. Focus on self improvement. Find your purpose, and make incremental progress.

She’s a ho and belongs to the game. You made the mistake of trying to turn a ho into a housewife.

[–]Cerohero1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's normal

[–]bgrinnie1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Please, you have to let yourself be free of her completely. I went through a similar situation and it’s gonna be very hard but you can do it. You owe it to yourself to walk away from all that stress. That’s the best way forward.

[–]spartan_samurai1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She ain't gonna come back mate.

Reality in your situation: She despise you and she have moved on from you months ago.

The more you try to contact her the more damage you are going to do to your reputation.

Walk away if you have ounce of self respect and look for someone else.

[–]dtyler861 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah man. Us too. TRP is only appealing when you’re fucked over and exposed to the wake up call that is modern women. Welcome. You’re lucky you learned early.

[–]amwfhunter1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hey can I borrow your slut girlfriend for a few fucks I promise to return her after

[–]TheStumblingWolf1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Tooting my own horn here, I have been an amazing boyfriend. I take her on dates, give her random gifts, love her as well as I can.

Judging from all the red flags you've described, you might have been "too good" a boyfriend. Whatever you were doing obviously didn't check her boxes.

Seems to me like you've acted more like a loyal dog than a boyfriend.

You need to focus on yourself, figure out what you want in life (that isn't her) and move on from there. Read the sidebar. It seems to be you haven't, judging from your post.

[–]paint-the-world-red1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Girlfriend of a year and a half broke up with me over text, started hoeing around immediately

I was and still am head over heels in love with her.

That’s called oneitis, it’s naturally programmed within us to become more docile in a relationship and society encourages it even further. Hell, your T-levels drop when your in a relationship.

Tooting my own horn here, I have been an amazing boyfriend. I take her on dates, give her random gifts, love her as well as I can.

And yet, here you are, inside the lion’s den

She started getting depressed about a year and a month into our relationship and we basically completely stopped having sex. She stopped being emotionally available and we never saw each other anymore. She's from my hometown and I'm in my college town 2 hours away. She went to college with me last year as well but now she's back home with her family because she doesn't have an apartment like I do.

A couple months ago she asked if we could take a break and I was completely against it. We continued dating until last week she decided she was taking a break and we stopped texting and talking cold turkey.

Whenever someone wants to go on break it means "I wanna try new things and see if I can find better than you. If I can’t, I’ll be back so don’t fuck anybody else until I say so."

I should send her a thoughtful text message explaining how we should have ground rules if we are going to actually make this break work. After I sent her that, she did want to even respond. I had worked like an hour on the text messages I had sent and they were literally perfect, she had nothing to complain about apparently.

A word of advice, never ask the fish how it got caught.

Then she sent me a text an hour later telling me that she thanks me for the relationship but she doesn't think that she is the one that I am supposed to spend the rest of my life with. She said that it's time we grow apart. I had a terrible panic attack as soon as I saw that message and her friend was not happy with her for leading me on. I've had the worst anxiety I've ever had this last week or so. I feel so alone. There was little to no explanation for why she doesn't want to be with me and what I did wrong but everyone I have talked to tells me that I have done literally nothing wrong. I sent her one last message explaining that I'm confused and I asked her why.

That’s the thing about women they come love you on Monday and feel nothing for you a Sunday. Remember that she’s not actually yours, it’s just your turn and vice-versa. Also you notice that anxiety and those panic attacks? That’s fucking oneitis destroying you, it’s the deeply primitive aspects of us that freak out when our pussy supply vanishes because to your brain it believes that you’ll never pass on your genes.

She didn't respond to that message, so I sent her another a while later that literally just said "I deserve clarity" and she proceeded to block me on every social media, including my phone number.

You went hard beta and probably turned her off or on the other hand, she could’ve blocked you to block out the guilt she was filling.

She's apparently fucked a girl, and a few more guys. Her and two of her friends decided to make a game where they got points for stuff they do with guys. She was winning by a lot. Girlfriend of a year and a half broke up with me over text, started hoeing around immediately

She's apparently fucked a girl, and a few more guys. Her and two of her friends decided to make a game where they got points for stuff they do with guys. She was winning by a lot.

You should do the same, fuck as many girls as possible until your dick doesn’t no the difference between your local tinderella and your own sister (joking but not really)

They stopped that game last night because of her mental health. When she went to that party, she stayed the night at her friends house who lives two houses down from my house back home. She drove by my house knowing what she did.

And she may be back, don’t take her back throw her own words back in her face. "I just don’t feel like your the person I’m meant to spend forever with"

I can't stop thinking about her body on his, something only I have had the ability to touch and love. This has to be a rebound, something to try and get me out of her head. I think this hurts worse because she told me how she was never horny and didn't ever want to do anything sexual in any way for about three months before we broke up.

Dude, shape the fuck up or I’m going to drown you

I want to wait for her. She's coming back to the same college next semester in a few months. Only 4 months ago she was head over heels in love with me. A couple of my friends have been telling me that eventually she'll smarten up and at least explain to me why she did this. All I can do is wait until then.

Don’t wait for a goddamn thing, she’s nothing to you now, just as you’re nothing to her. If you wait for her, she’ll just ride more dicks and come crawling back.

If anyone has any input on my situation I would love to hear it. At this point I'm just venting because I don't know what else to do. If there's anything else you would like to know, leave a comment and I'll answer. Thank you all so much.

Read that sidebar (we have a downloadable pdf, A5 is for phones), lift until you look like you could take Jason mamoa, go monk mode, improve yourself in all aspects, never take back your ex. Kill the boy, and let the man be born.

[–]vwowv1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Get over your programing that at this juncture you have to be devastated, crawl in to your bedroom and not come out for 6 weeks, months or years. Just grow up on the spot and skip it.

She's obviously knew she was out three months before you did and spent the time carrying out the logistics.

You should never go back to her, and do all Dr. Dick said.

Any thought of going back to her better start with, "babe, teach me how to swing" If you aren't in to that there is no back. I said the swing thing facetiously. Or maybe it would work, I don't know. I'd think that would blow up in your face somehow.

Stop bargaining with yourself. This is one of the clearest cut cases she's done with you She bought a 10 year membership to club cock carousel.

Don't think you are wrong somehow and have to figure it out. Think of it as "I was programmed one way, and now I know how it really works, good to know"

Read up on oneitis, Briffault's Law. And awhile you do focus on not being mad, accept this is women's nature. You don't blame a fox for wanting to break in to a chicken coup, or a guy for wanting to get laid. Don't blame a woman for wanting to take all the $$ and cock that isn't tied down. Do you spend your nights up all night worrying about the chinese workers that made your iphone? It's all a matter of perspective.

I'm sure there's a lot of good advice in this post right now. Stop thinking your whiny crap. Shut it out like she blocked your twitter, facebook, text, etc.

Fuck her. It's time to spend some time with your bros and have a few dates. Hasn't your ex taught you anything?

Lastly, jesus. Do not try to contact her again. She has made it perfectly clear she does not want to be contacted. You told us you spent an hour on your msg to her and it was perfect. Like drunk texting.. as a rule.. if you feel out of whack and it seems IMPORTANT to you.. do not text. Remember, the more IMPORTANT it seems the most certainly you are being that idiot that sends an idiot text.

Instead of thinking and thinking over and over about it in your misery lens use this time to read and study every bit of good advice in this post, and google every term you don't know.

This is your time to grow up, don't blow it.

[–]AotearoaRepublican1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck bitches get money

[–]bestsparkyalive1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Hello friend. I am really sorry you’re going through this stuff. I am in a similar predicament although it is to a lesser degree, but I know the same feelings. Think about this. What she’s out doing right now. Put your self in her shoes for a second with me....

You are a girl who just cold heartedly dumped her guy.

You go and hoe around hardcore immediately.

Your guy is wanting to work on it, not just that but he is willing to wait months and months until you get this out of your system.

She is giving her body to people who do not have a sliver of care for her.

All while you wait patiently.

How can she possibly respect a man who is willing to wait and clean up the scraps when the smoke has cleared?

You need to realize that it’s over. Unless these things I’ve read are not boundaries that have been crossed for you. Then sure wait and try again.

But if she can pull this kind of stuff now would you be able to trust her in marriage? Would you be able to support a household and leave the door with complete peace in your mind? It’s time to think. The right choice will NOT be easy it never is. Again I’m sorry for your loss and situation but if you really put in all the effort you claim then you deserve devotion. Not an ungrateful woman who isn’t finished slutting about.

[–]vwowv0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She could see he was that kind of guy before she left. That was one of the major factors she left. Other factors include: she wanted to go full sexual.

[–]Snowaey1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is literally the pinnacle of blue pill lol

keep reading the sidebar OP and I can guarantee you, you will improve your life because of it

[–]violetmonstermunch1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She was hoeing before she broke up with you, just saying.

[–]Iluvalmonds831 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Oh, honey. I stopped reading after the “who’s the biggest slut” game she was crushing her friends at.

Take this as a sobering teaching moment for what happens when you put your SO on a pedestal. Anyone, including your unicorn LTR, has the capability to break your heart, disappoint you and most certainly develop into a person you didn’t think they were capable of becoming.

She exhibited some obvious red flags (depression, pulling away, telling you she was Bi) spelling the end of this, that you failed to really see for what it was. The biggest red flag I see - the fact you went along with a Long distance relationship, which is nearly impossible to maintain a frame over in the first place, and no inkling of having frame over any of this. In essence, you were at the mercy of her whims and she led the relationship into the ground.

Before you entertain going into a relationship again, work on your mindset, gaining abundance in things that bring you joy outside of the opposite sex, and becoming a person who’s proud of what he’s built in himself. Work on being able to establish and enforce boundaries so others don’t control the outcome of your ventures/ relationships. Remember that in the end, the only person truly invested in your happiness and success is and will always be YOU, so no whatever how wonderful your partner is, you cannot just hand the keys over to them and trust them to keep your ship going in the right direction.

[–]ay-fuh-q1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've been dating this girl for around a year and 5 months and it started as a dream. She was everything I wanted in a girl. Great listener, my best friend, absolutely beautiful. It was the most fun I'd ever had in a relationship. I was and still am head over heels in love with her. Tooting my own horn here, I have been an amazing boyfriend. I take her on dates, give her random gifts, love her as well as I can.

Wow! You really put her on a pedestal as the perfect unicorn.

She started getting depressed about a year and a month into our relationship and we basically completely stopped having sex.

That depression is because the guilt started to set in for swallowing other cum. She needed to feel less guilty, so...

She stopped being emotionally available and we never saw each other anymore.

Best way to not feel guilty about swallowing other cum is to simply not be where you are anymore. That was easy.

A couple months ago she asked if we could take a break and I was completely against it.

EVERY SINGLE TIME a girl asks for a break/time/space, it's because she's already fucking another dude. By asking for a break, she can mitigate the cheating aspect and retcon some calendar dates. Make no mistake about it, though. By the time she asked for this, his cum was already in all her holes.

We continued dating until last week she decided she was taking a break and we stopped texting and talking cold turkey.

YOU believed you were still dating. She took the break unilaterally because.... cheaters decide to fuck others unilaterally.

The weird thing is a day before she wanted to go on a break we face timed for hours and I had a great time and I thought she did too.

Women are weird. She was probably reminiscing and enjoying the conversation with you. Making you think she's a good person....

As soon as I got to my hometown she decided we should go on a break so I was stuck wallowing for a few days before I headed home.

You tried to see her; she was already enjoying new cum.

I have been in contact with one of her good friends who is just as confused as I am and we decided that I should send her a thoughtful text message explaining how we should have ground rules if we are going to actually make this break work.

Her friend was playing dumb. Wow. You're really new to this.

After I sent her that, she did want to even respond.

Can't respond with a cock in her mouth...

I had worked like an hour on the text messages

You ability to write a great novel is irrelevant to her sexual drive for this other dude she's been fucking for far longer than you can admit to.

she had nothing to complain about apparently. Then she sent me a text an hour later telling me that she thanks me for the relationship but she doesn't think that she is the one that I am supposed to spend the rest of my life with.

Spoken by a girl who doesn't care about you or your "perfectly-crafted text messages." She's busy with cock.

She said that it's time we grow apart.

Her legs were already apart by the other dude.

I could go on and on with each part of your post, but you very clearly put your unicorn on a pedestal and ignored every classic and cliche sign imaginable.

[–]-ThePathIsTheGoal-1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Get down on your knees and thank god that you found the red pill.

[–]RIchardjCranium1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The hard part is you'll never get a good answer. Chicks don't even know why they do things. They change their mind like they change their phone covers. I had a great chick who was totally into me and it was awesome. A year later she dumps me over some nonsense and now she's engaged to someone else.

Like the saying goes she's not yours it's just your turn.

[–]Mad at ModsFusionnn1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Jesus christ dude listen to yourself and man up, you've gone complete beta bitch mode.

[–]_Lemongrab0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck her friend and be done with the bitch. You want to wait for someone you KNOW slutted it up?

EZ not relationship material, bro.

[–]Nergaal0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Now I understand what people mean when they say read the sidebar. You spent more time writing this post than reading the sidebar.

[–]comu_nacho0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I would get tested for HIV at least. She didn't change all of a sudden, it's just that now you know how she really is. Who knows when she started her round on the carousel. From the mainstream point view about women's sexuality, it's surprising how much more opportunities and experiences a regular looking woman has, compared to a similar-looking man. After taking the red pill, you'll know you've got to be in the 1% of guys that get 90% of women.

[–]FromTheCaveIntoLight0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I was you almost 5 years ago. Read sidebar. Read top on this and the main sub, lift, mediate, journal, create, do something you’ve wanted to do, but haven’t. Then repeat until all this becomes habit. See you on the other side. It’s a lot brighter over here. Hoes like this become a Thursday night fun time, not a year and a half waste of time.

[–]LegendaryOx0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The beautiful and ugly thing about life is that it keeps moving forward, with or without you. Humans, especially women are very fickle things. Take this as a blessing in disguise. You could have knocked this broad up and then she ran off with your kid and made you pay child support. You could have been married to a woman for a decade and then walk in on her getting pounded out by the milkman. You’ll be ight. She wasn't special and later in life you'll realize she was some cookie cutter chick like most women are.

Hear me and listen to me closely brotha. Leave her be. Rid your spirit and mind of her. And most importantly remember this -> It is what it is but never allow something to become more than what it should be.

Welcome to the redpill. Now, you can either rise up as a man and create the life you desire. Or you can allow this moment to paralyze and emasculate you for the rest of your life.

[–]Forsaken43210 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

First she was already fucking around when she suggested a break. Other dudes where balls deep insider her at the time she suggested this.

Second, being nice to a women isnt helping. Your worst enemy is your instinct to please her. FUCK her needs. Be the best version of yourself smd please yourself

Third, everything under solid 5 years isnt real committment. Just get some juicy sidechicks. Especially if you live 2 hours apart.

Fourth. If she lives so far away. A dude just needs to catch her ovulating in the right moment to get pussy. Happened to a plate of me who totally thought we were exclusiv.

Example: i have a little snorring problem. And on weekends after eating at 12:00 we fuck and go cuddle nap. During quarantine she became a total bitch about it. Hitting me so i wake up etc. Or filming me while snoring. At the moment i said, ok fuck you i cant control this no more cuddles. Letting her lir there used and wet. It took about 2 hours she came crawling towards me begging to cuddle...

Forget this bitch

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Stop crying like a bitch and move on

[–]EscobapRablo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think OP NEEDS to read the rational male to understand Red pill concepts better.

[–]zamahx0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Bro, this post belongs on relationship advice, theres no way someone on trp is THIS beta. Holy fuck

[–]TRPCops2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Zero value add 3d ban

[–]idevastate0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The oneitis is strong in this one. Go read the goddamn sidebar and internalize it. Lastly, I cringed irl reading about “I prepped a message for over an hour” “I asked for clarity.” Women need closure, not men, start being in your masculine. It’s done, move on, read the goddamn sidebar homey.

[–]_-resonance-_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

TLDR: you saying, “I deserve clarity,” means she has the keys to your clarity. Why would anyone date someone who didn’t already have (and maintain) clarity?

[–]Relaxredditrockstar0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The moment she asked for a break you should have broken up with her. What are you doing. She literally said “I miss the taste of other dick”, and you said “no you’re stuck”. No wonder the girl was depressed

[–]Infernir0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is why TRP exist in the first place, guys wanted an understanding for why all this shit happens. They needed to rationalize it all to cope with all their irrational lovey dovey feelings. To understand all the pain and why something feels not right here.

Now you know, and you have the wake up event you need to become fully red pilled.

[–]Jonathank920 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She belongs to the streets. Move on and block her number. Under no circumstances do you allow her back in your life. Focus on yourself and your well being.

[–]nixon9930 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Just move on.Its the only solution.Its hard and it will be hard but dont turn into some guy full of hate,just move on there is alot of girls you just have to meet them.I know it hurts when you think of her giving herself to some idiots who dont care about her,but its not your problem anymore,just wish her luck and go on with life.

[–]Ign0rantBliss0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Bro you are not red pill at all. Soon as she recommended a break I would've recommended we break permanently. She had you, maybe still has you in the palm of her hand. Perfect text? I bet you that Chad who was blowing her back out whole time you were "together" sent her one word replies. Learn from this situation and don't let these women little boy you in life, man up.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Tooting my own horn here, I have been an amazing boyfriend. I take her on dates, give her random gifts, love her as well as I can.

This is screaming "blue pill provider behaviour". This KILLS ATTRACTION. Read the main sub sidebar till you get it.

You cannot buy love and you cannot buy attraction. "Amazing boyfriend" is how women describe men like you.... while they fuck someone else.

She started getting depressed about a year and a month into our relationship and we basically completely stopped having sex

And you took this. This killed the last shred of attraction. You're now the loser who is getting none.

A couple months ago she asked if we could take a break

Translation: "I want to fuck other men and come back to your provisioning and support".

I've had the worst anxiety I've ever had this last week or so. I feel so alone

Your dependence is deeply unattractive to her.

There was little to no explanation for why she doesn't want to be with me and what I did wrong

Wrong: Unattractive, needy, buying and doing stuff for her, being dependent.

Missing: focus on yourself, LIFTING, own career, independence, etc.

he didn't respond to that message, so I sent her another a while later that literally just said "I deserve clarity" and she proceeded to block me on every social media, including my phone number.

How else can she explain it? She doesn't want to tell you what I'm telling you: "ATTRACTION LOST BECAUSE YOU ARE WEAK".

I also learned that she went to a party and fucked some guy I went to high school with after we broke up,

I thought she was too depressed for sex?

If anyone has any input on my situation I would love to hear it

Sorry to be so brutal but you need to hear the truth. You're new to TRP and women suddenly make no sense after the end of your relationship.

I'm here to tell you that you did everything wrong. Too much commitment, too much support, and zero attention to living a life that's fun for you and attractive to women.

I've been there, done that. I've seen how it goes. You do everything right and you get treated like dirt. Well, this is how women are so you either adapt or you go through that whole process again.

Read the main sub sidebar. Settle in, this is going to be a long and difficult ride. Make sure you never, ever, ever think about "wining her back". This is the new you. You decide how it goes from here. Good luck.

[–]zeitdruck0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I just checked your post history. You literally posted this in like 5 different subs.

Stop looking for answers on "why she left you". She left you because she's not attracted to you. She left you because you didn't fuck her good enough. She left you because she's a woman and woman are like that. She left you because [..]

It doesn't matter why she left you. The only thing that matters now is that you learn from your mistakes. It can only go uphill from here now.

[–]ThatOneDrunkUncle0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lol not to trivialize what you're going through, but this is pretty basic stuff. I made a few of the same mistakes as you in my first relationship, but at least I knew what I was doing and convinced myself I was different. I made a post a few months ago that you can read in my history. I was starting to heal, but then covid hit and things went to hell, and now I just imagine us holed up having a blast at my lake house alone, and all of a sudden I can't eat again.

  1. Read my post for some actionable steps.
  2. Realize that nothing you've done is wrong and is a great learning experience
  3. See a counselor. Seriously. Swallow your pride and just do it. He'll help you unwrap your thoughts/feelings/emotions.
  4. Hit the sidebar
  5. It's going to hurt A LOT. Take the time and just go through the motions of lifting, socializing, working and work on your mission.
  6. Talk to other women

[–]Eagleassassin3-3 points-2 points  (2 children) | Copy

A woman can sleep with whoever she wants. That doesn’t make her a whore.

So guys here can sleep with how many women they like and that’s completely okay, but when women do it they’re whores? That’s very hypocritical.

[–]vwowv0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's because a guy who sleeps with everyone.... that's hardmode that impresses everyone.

Any ugly woman sleeps with everyone .. easy, no one is impressed.

Men need need to turn it up a notch, whores need to tone it down a notch

[–]awakenedspirit10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Absolutely. "Whore" is such a derogatory (and innaccurate) term. She's a sex positive person.
Those "agreements" with partners about sexual exclusivity, those are oppressive reminants of the Patriarchy. No one owes anyone exclusive sexual access. Only insecure men would ask for that. Women can fuck whomever they want, and we men need to never emotionally invest in them or give them any money. Clearly this is the system that works for everyone. Here here!



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