I barely feel horny at all, I’ve realised.

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June 6, 2020

I just don’t know what’s up with me. Today we were drinking with friends and some girls came over. My friends and me were drunk and a little bit stoned, so the mood was set. The problem is my friends turn into hyena’s after a few mixed drinks and I just don’t feel anything, at all. I’ve thought this through after I got home and realized I barely think about sex or get aroused. Is it performance anxiety, ED, stress, low test? I’ve had sex before, but never felt like I craved for it. Usually when I’d get horny I’d fap, but that craving has gotten way less too. Idk man, I’ve had many hints from girls, but I always end up doing nothing, mainly because I feel that the need isn’t there. What should I do? I’m 22 and it sucks to see myself not being to enjoy some pussy along the way. I’m attracted to girls for certain, though. Should I try Viagra or something similar once to get it going? Any guys that had the same experiences?

Post Information
Title I barely feel horny at all, I’ve realised.
Author youngfuture7
Upvotes 56
Comments 45
Date 06 June 2020 12:24 AM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/671427
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/gxgki9/i_barely_feel_horny_at_all_ive_realised/
Similar Posts

[–]boy_named_su50 points51 points  (7 children) | Copy

get some blood work done. check your T, IGF1, HGH and estradiol, vitamins, minerals

how's your sleep? diet? how much do you lift? I'm 45, started lifting again, and have a rager every morning now. it makes a difference

take up something competitive. winning raises T

try nofap for a while too

[–]youngfuture77 points8 points  (6 children) | Copy

I don’t lift at all. I’ve decided to go to the gym today. My sleep pattern is a mess lately, I drink and smoke weed way to often. Sounds like I need to get my shit together?

[–]caius10042 points43 points  (2 children) | Copy

Soon you’ll be youngNofuture7

[–]youngfuture714 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah. Fuck me. I feel like a total mess right now after thinking the things ive done since quarantine. Thanks for all these messages. I needed a reality check again.

[–]VigilantSmartbomb1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bro you doin your kegels? Is def gonna help when u are there

You watch porn? If you do garuntee that’s it

If I don’t do anything sexual, masturbate, or watch porn for x amount of time then even an armpit can get me goin lol

Try taking 6 months off of everything sexually dopamine - use that time to get ur shit straight then start cold approaching -

Maybe the girls just aren’t turning you on or aren’t slutty enough or aren’t of high enough value?

But then again it could also be the porn abuse- crazy how femdom and other categories have grown over the years from excessive porn use.

Which by all means if that’s your thing go for it, but porn changes your tastes- it’s also easy. Both of those are bad for a man imo

[–]boy_named_su10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

You've answered your question

Start light. You can do it. Good luck

[–]rickit3k1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's one of those to moments that make me incredibly happy

[–]JohnQData0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lol and you ask...

[–]GraphiteIsInPencils26 points27 points  (2 children) | Copy

Similar position to you. I've had sex plenty of times but it's never that rewarding to me. It feels good but not good enough to be worth the effort.

Are you depressed? Anxious? That's probably the issue. You don't need a pill at your age.

[–]youngfuture75 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

I mean anxiety has always played a role in my life yes, I’ve never really been the one that escalated things. The only times I’ve done sexual stuff is when the girls escalated on me first (and those weren’t the hottest ones obviously). My sister had similar issues, she would always be the “outsider” out of her friends. She’s 30 now and changed her mentality after a burn out and is succesfully dating etc. But I really don’t want to wait till I experience something similar to force a change. I’ve discovered TRP and try to change myself. I’m young and want to experience my times while I try to be a better version of myself. It’s just I don’t get rock hard, or horny when a girl is hinting towards me or try to escalate things on my own.

[–]macheagle0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Keep in mind that for some people, especially those who are depressed or anxious, it may take experiencing a crisis event to “change”. That is just sometimes necessary and the change becomes so profound that your entire sense of self and worldview is recalibrated. It is a good thing. If your upbringing is from a broken home or there is resentment between you and your parents, then the likelihood that a crisis event is needed increases.

You are young. Use your time and youth to pick the most challenging things you can do and accomplish them. Lifting is a must, because just the testosterone gains alone changes how your mind works. Make sure you read the sidebar, but don’t forget that how you change is up always up to you - if your case is fucked, then you will need external prompting such as a crisis event in order to change.

That was my case, and looking back I am super fucking glad I had a crisis event. My EQ shot way up after that and now all my anxiety are gone, permanently. It was a blessing in disguise.

[–]DerpJungler7 points8 points  (4 children) | Copy

First of all, CUT (at least minimize) weed and alcohol.

Both substances (along with others) are hormone fuckers. When I used to smoke and drink a lot, my libido was non-existent and I blamed my self for not being horny, same as you.

Secondly, go lift some weights. Do some sports. Exercising not only raises your natural T, it also makes you look better which raises confidence as well (and also, libido).

Fix your sleep and nutrition, cut out porn and stop overthinking.

Do this for a couple months and report back.

If it doesn't work, go get checked for low T. But don't start thinking you are definitely having low T symptoms because it will only raise your anxiety and make things worse.

[–]nixon9932 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]TheKing57072 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This ^

[–]youngfuture72 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks alot. Guess progress comes slowly. I wanted to apply TRP from the start and got over a little bit aggressive to one of the girls.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Smoking weed every once in a while can you really horny. Smoking weed regularly kills your libido.

Source: Experienced smoker

[–]jsphere25611 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is more common than you think. Make a doctor's appointment and don't ask TRP for medical advice! You'll thank me later.

[–]Bungeeeeee3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

From your post, I think it's pretty clear what you have. You are an undisciplined person. You can only do fun stuff, things you are passionate about and do stuff when you are motivated. Couple that with weed and laziness will go through the roof.

The fix: you will need to recondition/discipline yourself! Set goals and go through withdrawal. Hack your mind so you never go back to your old ways when stress comes around, because you'll need just a little to fall again.

Cut everything out you know doesn't bring you any further and works against you (amongst others: bad thoughts, bad diet, weed, addictions. you get it already). You need a clear head for action taking, and that's what you have to do, action. You'll change yourself in no time if you stick to it. The challenge will come if you come under stress and that's why you have to build a strong rational mind, immune to distractions, choosing right over wrong.

Introspection will help but in very small doses; you should mostly learn from experience. Fill up your day with things to do, clear your mind and give yourself to those things. You will eventually stumple upon something that gives you a sense of belonging, a purpose, and then your depression will just be a distant dream.

[–]youngfuture70 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks alot brother. I just don’t understand how my friends can all do these stuff when completely drunk or stoned. I guess it makes me the different one from the group. Im going to stop with weed. Its a habit that came from corona boredom. Im going to start lifting today with a friend of mine starting from today and get that habit running insyead. I luckily watch what I eat (not always) and tend to drink only water. I guess I should really find myself first before even attempting the game stuff.

[–]agoodcrayon8 points9 points  (6 children) | Copy

You’re at an age where you’ve learned the poon isn’t worth the squeeze.

You’ll be rock hard if the next girl is a 9 in all categories. That’s a guarantee.

Also don’t forget to lift

[–]youngfuture70 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I mean is it strange if I’ve felt like this my entire life? I’ve only had horniness(like really fucking horny all day, I’d start jacking once I got home) when I was working fulltime. I’ve been a student all my life and still doing bachelor’s for some time. All my friends work fulltime already.

I guess I should start lifting, but I feel this is more of a mental issue.

[–]agoodcrayon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I’m the same way but if I’m around an attractive girl that I want and I know for a fact she wants me it’s a different ball game. I have a conscience and my standards are high so that affects my libido. Quality over quantity for me. I know what I’m worth and I’m not setting for anything less.

It can be a mental thing in regards to approaching and closing. Anxiety. But I only have that if I’m not truly into a chick.

You’re fine man. I only go for 7s or above. All the others aren’t worth my time. Yeah I don’t get as much as I can but the quality is much higher and my game is much better since I’m more motivated to pursue.

But lifting and especially dead lifts will boost your Testosterone to another level. It’s unbelievable what dead lifts will do to your body and lifting in general. You will change within 3 months and people will notice.

Eat right. Lift right. And make sure your form is right or else it’ll be detrimental to your health.

If you’re not lifting, idk what you’re doing on these red pill forums. If you’re not lifting, you lack in every other category of your life and people will notice you are lacking.

[–]nixon9930 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

He didnt learn anything,its just the way he is,would you say to asexual person that when 10 comes he will be rock hard.I am hard every day and if i could fuck every day i would gladly because sex feels fucking great for me,but thats the way i am built.

[–]agoodcrayon0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I’ve only met one asexual person in my life and this guy definitely had some sort of autism or had some sort of trauma during his childhood. He lived with his mom at 32 and she still cooked for him and he played video games. And I’m not lying nor exaggerating to prove any points.

This guy either jerks off way too much or has some conscience issues or just never got the opportunity to click with a girl on a higher level than average.

Read my post above as well. Anything is possible but I’m betting on what I’ve told him in the post above.

[–]nixon9930 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I didnt met even one asexual or maybe i did i really dont ask other people about their sexual life,but there are people like that.About the OP well i dont know maybe try living a little helthier and stop smoking and drinking that much.And stay away from the porn i am quilty of it its miserable.

[–]youngfuture70 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I barely watch porn at all. If almost to none, 2-3times a month. Ive picked up masturbating on my imagination instead. I dont jerk daily too. I guess its just the laziness from not engaging in physical activity. I used to kickbox and my blood was pumping before TRP. Ill start lifting from today.

[–]empatheticapathetic1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Got some soul searching to do

[–]Transport1271 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I have completely lost my sexual urge once out of the blue. I was worried about what was gonna happen. But I regained it after weeks/months.

Don’t worry things like that happens

[–]xxx69harambe69xxx1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

depression can fuck you hard mate, its a pandemic, dont beat yourself up

[–]ivanbxng0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Maybe your body fat is a little too low? Last month I lost like 8 pounds and even though I’m really lean now I don’t really feel horny at all.

[–]heylox10 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

do you have morning boner?

[–]youngfuture70 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Thinking of it, no not daily anymore.

[–]heylox10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

i think thats the problem. im dealing with the same thing.

[–]babban_rao0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

So what? Focus on your goals and forget about pussy. That shit's overrated.

[–]cjack950 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Definitely get your T levels checked. Most docs aren’t friendly about it. There are online places that will get you a test and injections if needed

[–]Zero-Milk0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

32 year old man reporting in.

You're not always going to be horny and sex-oriented every day of your life. Just because you're in your early 20's doesn't mean you're gonna be popping boners and fantasizing about sex daily. You'll go through phases and have periods of time (days, weeks, months) where it simply doesn't interest you, and then there will be times where you can't get enough of it. That's life, man. You're not going to be the same every day of your life.

Figure out what CURRENTLY motivates you and go hard at it. You're gonna be fine. Don't stress.

[–]youngfuture72 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

How can I dig deeper into myself? I’ve been thinking about what drives me, what my dreams are, my passions, and shockingly I can barely come up with anything?

[–]Zero-Milk0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Believe me when I say you've got a lot of time to figure that out. The best advice I can give you, man, is to never turn down an opportunity to broaden your horizons. A lot of people let themselves get locked into what's familiar, and as a result, they stop growing. Don't let yourself be that guy.

You meet somebody that says they're into rock climbing? Ask 'em about it. Maybe give it a try if the opportunity arises. Heard about a book where the subject matter interests you? Pick it up and try it. Someone at work recommended a movie? Go home and actually watch it instead of being the guy who says "oh yeah, I'll definitely have to check that out" but has no intention of doing so. Every day presents you with so many new opportunities to experience new things. It's all in the attitude you choose to approach life with, and the sooner you realize that you're in control of your own attitude, the more you'll get to enjoy from life.

Like I said though, man: don't sweat the sexual stuff. It comes and it goes in cycles. We live in a hypersexual society that over-emphasizes its importance, often to the point where young men like ourselves think that the only thing that matters is your SMV. The truth is: what matters is you, and the things you actually care about. Not the things you've been conditioned to care about. You're already head and shoulders above a lot of your peers simply because you're NOT out there thirsting for pussy every day like a heroin addict looking to score his next hit. That addiction is so prevalent in today's world that it has you utterly convinced that YOU'RE the abnormal one for wanting other things.

If I were a betting man, I'd put my money on you over any of the hundreds of simps I see every day of my life. I mean it.

Be at ease, man. You'll figure out what's important to you in time so long as you never stop the hustle. And instead of the dime-a-dozen low-self-esteem bimbos with vapid personalities and shitty tit jobs, you'll get hard as a diamond for the next gal that actually meets your standards.

Edit: formatting.

[–]jpozzed0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Check out "Awaken the Giant Within" by Tony Robins. All of his later stuff is basically a rehash of this book and used copy can be found for a few bucks. Sit down with a pen and paper and go through all the exercises. https://www.selfauthoring.com/ and https://www.wimhofmethod.com/ are also worth checking out. Everyone is different - Find something that resonates with you and spend 20min a day on it.

[–]DeepNutted0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Alcohol and weed will not help you to feel horny, start with that.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What drugs do you take regularly? Anything like Kratom or weed or w/e

[–]catsdontsmile0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This isnt a problem, one less distraction in your plate. Work on self-improvement and your career. Not wanting to fuck any low value bar hussies is good.

[–]flgeo70 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I have the same problem at 25. I’ve followed every piece of advice suggested in the comments and it’s barely gotten better. I had sex a few weeks ago with like a 60% boner and it wasn’t very enjoyable. I got blood work done about a year ago and was told everything was normal, including my T. It was a bit on the lower end of normal but not too far from average. I’m considering doing blood work again just to check.

One question: do you suffer from anxiety or depression at all? I have anxiety and I’m pretty sure that has everything to do with it.

[–]AuberyBitoni0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Dude I'm 23. I never feel horny either, no morning wood ever. My diet is good,sleep 7-8hours, got my test levels checked and they're above average. Yet, I barely crave for sex, I'm satisfied with sex once a week??? You're not the only one, I'm gonna get an expert to check my hormone levels.

[–]DatRiggz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Smash beers, smash weights, smash broads. Wrap.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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