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Why isn't rejecting a girl a suggested strategy here?

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trpcounsel
December 4, 2018
79 upvotes
askTRP

Just a general question. Does rejecting a girl make her like you more? Is rejecting a girl considered a "push" strategy?

If you reject a girl, and then go after her in a week or month or whatever, what would the effects be?

I had a girl recently, pretty hot, HB8-9 that I rejected pretty forcefully because of exams. But I am interested and have her number and all that and I'm wondering if there's a play available for me once exams are over.

Thanks.


Post Information
Title Why isn't rejecting a girl a suggested strategy here?
Author trpcounsel
Upvotes 79
Comments 54
Date 04 December 2018 03:34 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/69759
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/a31pdk/why_isnt_rejecting_a_girl_a_suggested_strategy/
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[–]FireDrillem95 points96 points  (7 children) | Copy

There’s a right way to go about it. Instead of a flat out rejection, it may have been more effective to engage her minimally. In other words, give her SOME time. Just enough to pique her interest, but not too much to interfere with your mission. Give the perception of high value, while gaming.

[–]peacemakerzzz32 points33 points  (0 children) | Copy

Keeping a mission and maintaining a frame, while gaming, is a perception in itself of high value. This in turn allows you to engage her on a minimal level and will assume you of better things.

[–]priapula14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly, you cant flat out reject. You have to dangle the carrot

[–]Luftiwaffe12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy

YOU friendzone HER

[–]riggedved0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is what I do.

[–]IFuckingHateAllergy9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

A.k.a The reverse orbiter.

[–]unique_user91 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Or just tell her, I have my exams for a month and we can pick up after that.

[–]superbad4life0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Push-pull technique. Such as negging her verbally but pulling her physically closer to you (or vice-versa).

[–]alphabachelor107 points108 points  (13 children) | Copy

Because in the hyper connected world of Tinder, OKC, Bumble and social media, rejecting a girl means she replaces you with another guy from one of those apps.

You should only reject/ghost/dump if she’s rude, disrespectful, toxic or a cheater. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

[–]koedeloe43 points44 points  (12 children) | Copy

OP, I like the way you think. Girls want what they can't have and I think it might work if you're an absolute chad.

But if you ain't, then I have to agree with the guy above... Girls have so many options nowadays, it's sad.

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten14 points15 points  (8 children) | Copy

They've always had abundance by default. That is not new.

[–]trpcounsel[S] 10 points11 points  (7 children) | Copy

Default feminine abundance and the phenomena of Alpha Widowhood are in direct conflict.

If women were truly abundant, they would be impervious to Alpha Widowhood. So one these is incorrect, or at least incomplete.

I believe they have abundance mentality with regard to looking at average dudes as replaceable and insignificant. But when they attach high interest / high perceived value to one particular guy... I don't think their abundance is as prevalent as you claim.

Which goes back to my original point... Rejection then, logically, would raise any given woman's interest level (provided she sees you as more than an average, replaceable guy) right?

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Defaults get overwritten by new settings. In short, the relationships women have with men change what said women want in the next man. The reverse is not true.

Therefore, default abundance can be alpha widowed by a high enough SMV partner, because alpha widows up to a point are still chasing and bagging high SMV men and remain dismissive of men below the new standard.

What widows cannot have is stable or respectful relationships with men they see as other than highly attractive, nor can they hold onto high SMV men for long especially as their SMV falls with age.

I don't see it as contradictory.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

No matter what the general public says here, I can say for a fact that all women, not just average women do not have an abundance mentality about good men that are acceptable for anything more than 'fun.'

​

The vast majority of women are just like the vast majority of men. They are seeking something of a very particular value specifically tailored to fit them. The 'ideal' man is different for many different women but the core needs for a woman to want to bang are pretty well set in stone.

​

So the TYPE of abundance these women have is the same bland tasteless abundance any actively social male has. Once you do enough personal work, 99% of the people around you don't measure up and never will. They will talk to you like you are special, like what you've done is some gift of fate. Not hard work and dedication and self control but a fluke.

​

Women will see you this way as well, rejecting them is an incredibly strong strategy, if you have consistent contact with them. If you only see them in passing, it doesn't work as well. I would say once a week or more is the limit. Less than that and they don't give a shit enough to really dig in and get obsessed. I suppose there are rare cases where you could 'shock' a woman one day with tingles in a lucky way, and have them hooked seeing them once or twice in a month or every other month, with very little contact but when it happens you are just on point, potent, and really have strong chemistry.

​

I certainly support chasing this sort of experience if it happens and never worry if you will see them again. If you make a strong enough impression, a woman will find ways to 'run into you' and track you like a fucking stalker.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

My issue now is most of the women around me don't even attempt to qualify. They can see how low my interest is in them. My needs are so high and my profession is too low. I wont find confident women at my level here because I don't have a high enough paying position to have any great looking driven women around. Just a boring regular job and the worker pool reflects that.

​

The only women I get along with are in marketing and they are alright. There's a pretty but aged Director I speak with but in general I walk among vermin.

​

I should really step it up, but I'm going to settle and marry instead. Fuck me right?

[–]whuttupfoo0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You don’t wait for a higher paying job to find women in higher value social settings. Go to events where high value people go, and I’m not talking about a nightclub. Make a millionaire friend. Go out in neighborhoods where the median income is above $100k. Eat out in these neighborhoods.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I have a few millionaire friends.

Do you?

I guess I need to find social ones because mine are all pretty insulated, they don't get around much and they stick to the circles where they maintain high levels of influence and power.

Great advice though. I do enjoy eating at nice places and easily engage with those sorts. I guess for me I just don't give a shit at the moment.

Been too long since I've been hungry.

[–]beginner_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Which goes back to my original point... Rejection then, logically, would raise any given woman's interest level (provided she sees you as more than an average, replaceable guy) right?

In general no depending on your actual meaning of rejection. Stringing her along isn't rejection for example. If you tell her you don't want to date her, then forget it. It's over. Why? because to protect her ego and inner feeling world she now has to mark you as undesirable and bad in her mind. "He didn't reject me, I never wanted something from that ugly weirdo guy anyway". That plus you looking indecisive (and hence not very trustworthy / secure) by changing your opinion rather quickly.

[–]alphabachelor1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think OP made the right decision just poor execution.

Women come and go. And there's no such thing as a soulmate. So OP made the right decision on choosing exams over some girl. There will always be another girl if you're a man. Especially if you are fit, dress well, have your own place and a good job. That should be your main goals in your 20s as a man.

That being said, let me now discuss the execution. No need to be forceful. Just say something like "I gotta wrap up some exams then they'll be some rose brut with our names on it" and that's it. You can periodically touch base if your text game is tight. Otherwise, circle back when exams are done.

If she replies back, great. If she doesn't, her loss. Focus on acquiring skills and wealth, not women in your 20's. I'm in my 40's and I cannot stress this enough. My life is like a giant all you can eat buffet of pussy because I did this.

[–]trpcounsel[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Right. I get that a dude that a girl barely likes is easily replaceable... But if she has a high interest level and you reject her... I don't see how that in effect closes the door on yourself... She's not going to have a comparable interest level for a dude online.

Seems like it would have the opposite effect.

Sends the message "I have more important shit going on/hotter girls to bang than you right now." Plus like I said she's very attractive, has very possibly never been rejected in her entire life...

I don't see how it hurts my position. But hey maybe it does.

[–]markinsinz72 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Objectively speaking - as far you going to bang her goes, it does hurt your position. You are coming from a logical standpoint. But the thing is rejection is an extremely negative feeling man she would probably go suck 2 different Chads off just to feel validated about herself now.

Don't ever flat out reject

[–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar25 points26 points  (2 children) | Copy

There's a difference between "rejecting a girl" and "breaking rapport." The latter is a very effective strategy for handling shit tests and generally establishing yourself as higher value than a chick who's being testy. The former basically ends the interaction. Only emotionally damaged chicks who are highly invested in you will continue to pursue after an outright rejection.

[–]trpcounsel[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Can you link a post covering breaking rapport? Not sure what that is exactly.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

google pua breaking rapport

[–]MGRaiden979 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Because when I get rejected by a girl, I'm not going to ask again, and I'm not sitting on hopes that she will change her mind.

I imagine girls are the same way

[–]Trphello10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

Flat out rejection is all push and no pull. If you're trying to fuck her then why would you reject her???

[–]riggedved0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"If you're trying to fuck her why would you reject her."

This is pure red pill stuff.

[–]Herdsengineers8 points9 points  (3 children) | Copy

Women are like cats - if you put a ball on a rope and bounce it in front of a cat, it will try to swat and get the ball. If you pull the ball out of reach whenever the cat tries to jump, the cat tries harder to get it and it drives the cat kind of crazy. So, like when teasing the cat, you need to figure out how to dangle something fun and intriguing in front of the girl while not intending to let her have it yet. Tease her with it until you are ready to give it to her. This has the added effect of building her excitement so she'll latch on hard when she finally gets the ball you're dangling in front of her.

Oh - that ball you dangle is your attention and approval. Let her see it, let her show she wants it, and then tease her with it until she's ready to latch on hard when you let her have it. Only do this with girls you want to latch onto you though. You can end up creating a bunny boiler if you really don't want her to fall hard, but she does.

[–]5kylord0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

LOL at "bunny boiler" ! Nice Fatal Attraction reference.

[–]Rabb1tH3ad0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

This is a really good analogy.

[–]Herdsengineers1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

yeah, the cats analogy is one of my go-to's. also like cats, if you chase a woman hard, they run. but if you sit still and be attractive to the cat, eventually the cat will come up, check you out, purr some, and jump in your lap and settle down, especially if you act like you don't care.

[–]KidWonder10112 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck what a lot of these guys are talking about here.

Focus on acquiring skills and wealth. If you have to reject a girl that gets in the way of that, then so be it.

In actuality, if she has high interest in you and you reject her, she'll be more attracted. Trust me. I've rejected girls all the time, and it's always easy for me to come back around. Now it doesn't always work, but it does for the most part. It signifies that you aren't thirsty af like these other guys who will be salivating at the mouth if they got that opportunity.

[–]Chadster1132 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

When used correctly breaking up with a girl can make her want you even more regardless of whatever kind of shit she’s given you in the past. It’s called demonstrating higher value. But for it to work she can never be your girlfriend again.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you reject a girl, and then go after her in a week or month or whatever, what would the effects be?

She's with someone else, and you have dry balls.

[–]BusterVadge1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

A bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush. Why reject someone who is DTF now just to make her want you more?

[–]Cmdrj-nice5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Autism that why

[–]Smubii1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

OP, Todd has an amazing to this question, and explains how it 's a bad idea.

​

https://youtu.be/dlFnNcWu6c0?t=859

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

An explicit (verbal) rejection does two things which are contrary to your goals:

  1. It gives a girl something to add to her "story", thereby strengthening her ego and her irrational confidence.
  2. It acts as an additional barrier to the two of you hooking up again later, once the present issue has faded out.

The proper way to reject a girl is to ghost her. That way, you don't feed her ego, and there's no standing reason for you two not to hook up in the future if the opportunity presents itself (assuming she hasn't disqualified herself from a hook up in some other way).

[–]BuzzLightGear321 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

Girls know how to reject like pros, watch them. Say things like "I have a girlfriend" or "Let's just be friends". Or you can go full beta and have them reject you.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

only go full beta for a woman you would not fuck even drunk.

[–]IVIaskerade0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Because you're talking to women because you want to bang them.

Rejecting a girl then going back might yield results, but going for three nee women with the same amount of time and effort will yield more results.

[–]bumbuff0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Rejection is a strategy, but not out-right forcing it. Subtle toeing of the line.....just like the ladies do it. But guys need market value to do it.

[–]markinsinz70 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She has already sucked another dick to get over the negative feeling of rejection you gave her. By the time you come around now she won't be interested cause her mine is on someone else. But try your luck

[–]Peter_B_Long0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

soft / hard nexting and push / pull are both forms of rejection.

If you reject a girl, and then go after her in a week or month or whatever, what would the effects be?

Thing is, girls have an abundance of options. A ton more than any of us here. a HB5 could make a new IG profile and post 1 photo showing mild cleavage and she'll get more attention than your Tinder profile that you've had for months.

Because of this, girls will forget about you quickly. You'll pop your head up and she'll be like, "wait who? Oh.. you"

Unless you're top 5% of men, girls won't chase you when you reject them.

[–]keelo440 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you’re a stud she might bite but that shouldn’t matter anyway because you’re a stud.

Right?

[–]A_solo_tripper0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Does rejecting a girl make her like you more?

Maybe. Depends mainly on how much she likes you after you reject her. If you spiked attraction, then she might like you more.

It's really difficult to say if the girl you are talking to will still like you after you "rejected" her. Only one way to find out for sure...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You already have pre-oneitis. The trick is to reject women in general (or be able not to get prematurely attached to them, their looks and their pussy power), not one girl, that you like and want to plate so much that your dick is thinking but not your brains. Women can't stand rejection. That's why it is sound strategy and it works 9 times out of 10.

So if you need to ask such a question you need to backtrack and re-read all the RP teaching about women and their psychology. They want a man who has options. You, unfortunately, do not have much options. You already put her on pedestal even if you "rejected her". The fact that you think about her as sexual prospect is enough to shoot yourself in a foot. Do not do that. Try not to do that and care less. And you will care less when you will have abundance mentality internalized. And you will internalize it only when you pursue multiple women at the same time.

[–]Rabb1tH3ad0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Because she should be kept as a possibility of ass? That's just my guess. If she's so low in self-esteem what more is she good for, really.

That and the fact that it really diverts psycho backlash if she isn't aware that all she's for. Women crave attention and if you have a certain level of finesse she won't know why you're keeping her around and you will hopefully avoid the unwanted drama/harassment you would get by dropping her.

[–]LiberianPr1nce 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

https://soundcloud.com/ponglordz/my-ducks

Listen 2 this webinar and you will see the light Homey

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What garbage is this?

[–]ArdAtak0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

LOL! That's so bad it's good.

[–]Thizzlebot-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Sounds like you are playing games at this point.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

it's called THE GAME for a reason. Women play it all the time and they do in unconsciously even. Some men play in unconsciously too, but most men need to LEARN it in order to play.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think the concept of soft next can answer your question adequately.

Sidebar is this way ->



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