Hey guys,

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So this post might be a bit all over the place because I need to get the background before the issue.

I'm 23 now finishing up my bachelor's to graduate in June '19. When I was starting middle school at a new school, my dad cheated on my mom and they got into a really nasty divorce. He didn't want anything to do with me anymore so of course, I was to live with my mom and being in middle school meant I wasn't really much of a human being yet other than going to school and coming home. She was hella strict too so I was pretty shy and timid, and because we were having money issues from the divorce which spread around school, I got picked on a lot. It was a horrible time and probably the root of my anxiety that comes and goes.

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Anyways, let's just count all of middle school and high school as the shit years because all that drama and being an easy target with no social group meant I was immediately placed at the bottom of the ladder and the only thing I could do was wait until I could graduate so I could go off to college and start fresh. What's done is done, basically, so my focus is not on the past.

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The bright side, I guess, is that my dad had a change of heart senior year and let me move in with him in addition to supporting my financially. My dad is also stupid wealthy. So when I graduated high school, I couldn't get into any college so I went to community college for two years, got a nice job in the mean time and did a bunch of things to pad my resume because I spent all of middle school and high school getting picked on, rejected from social and academic opportunities therefore I needed to play catch up in a very short amount of time. In that time I saved up almost 20 grand of my own money and from scholarships for having good grades, so I was in a really good position financially and drove a Benz too. I actually didn't get much help from my dad other than my phone payment and living rent free. So while things looked good on paper I knew my mental health was taking a toll since it was stressful, and this affected my body too since I had no time to get into fitness the way I wanted to.

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Anyways, I got into a good university and transferred but the first semester my crazy roommate burned half the apartment down and I had to move out during finals, which was a shit show. I couldn't find a place to stay until the last minute so it was either withdraw from school or take the shittiest place I could get because there was literally NO housing and because I had to leave my job and move cities and my car lease ended, shit was hard at university. I weathered the whole situation but because I moved into a place next to a construction and with no heating, my entire health was thrown off balance since I couldn't have a good nights sleep, have a healthy routine diet at least or get into fitness like I wanted to still because I was trying to compensate for these shitty situations, and keep up good grades so I don't lose my scholarship. Well, I did lose my scholarship for being just short of the GPA cut off, so having to move and having to pay extra costs for school drained my savings and put me in the red...which just added to my stress, especially now that nearing graduation I still have not been able to find a job.

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So...sorry for that gigantic ass post. I don't mean to sound whiney, truly, I don't, I don't even think about the negative stuff nor am I even depressed or anything right now, my mental health is fine/positive aside from some heightened anxiety during stressful moments like exams and shit...so what's the whole point of this and the silver lining? Let's get to the GOOD part. I met my current GF in high school and although we were on and off as friends/fwb, we got serious those two years in community college while I lived at home but I only ever went to her house. We broke up when I went away for university which probably was another reason I felt like I was having a shitty time vs. when I lived at home, but we kept in touch. Now that I am back home for the holidays and it seems like I'll be moving back for graduation, we've been talking again and I honestly can't imagine being in a relationship with anyone else. Hooking up with other girls? Sure, I'm fine with that and even my girl is too, we're pretty adamant about non-monogamy. But emotionally and long-term we gravitate to each other naturally and I'm glad things are the way they are and don't want to make it complicated.

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What's the issue? Well, for starters, my father, his girlfriend, and her mother who lives in the house, are all bipolar and therefore there is a lot of chaos going on in the house on a daily basis, one of the reasons why I was aching to move out for school and why I'm a little butthurt my university experience had to be such a shit show considering we only ever get to do that once, so yeah. For some odd, weird reason, my dad does not acknowledge my girlfriend as my girlfriend. He will ask me 'so when am I going to find a girl' or point at random girls in public 'is that girl cute? what is your type?' I will literally take out my phone, show him a picture of my girl and I hugging/casual kissing and I don't think it registers in his brain. He has even met her multiple times, forgotten what she looks like on each occasion, and never asks me about her, so I feel awkward talking about her or bragging about her. This had made things a bit weird with my dad now that I am finishing up school because he is actually convinced I'm behind in the dating department when I have absolutely no issue getting girls, hooking up with them and whatnot. I just make a very big distinction between a hookup and a date/relationship, and I don't take hookups seriously or feel the need to brag about them to anyone let alone my father, nor do I feel comfortable talking about private things about my dating life that I would rather just reserve to between myself and my gf or let her speak for herself if he was more open to meeting her for real.

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So my bros, essentially, I'm trying to get advice on how to be an alpha in general in my life, not exclusively to dating/sex. My girl looks good, she's a solid 7 on her best days, I'm like a 5 to be honest and I rock the average life and don't really have any insecurities, I laugh things off so I'm chillin. However, I feel stunted in my professional life, parts of my social life, and in my fitness. I don't want to be average anymore nor do I want to rely on looking good on paper or try to fit some beta lifestyle like I am now. It's my life, yes, but if anyone has been in my place in life I would appreciate any guidance. My plan right now is to just focus on graduating school, having a good time and not stressing over anything, then when I move back home, taking a year off from school and making a game plan. Thankfully, my dad has helped me out with paying down my debts and I'll be in a good position financially once I graduate, but I want to also go to the gym as a regular thing during that year off and just focus on living a healthy and self-secure life for a bit. No school, no paperwork, no office politics or social media bullshit or anything. And most of all spend time with my gf and see where things go if it gets more serious. I don't mind a more 'settled down' lifestyle as long as its our business and life and not under the microscope of my family. Moving out is not a realistic goal until I have a steady salaried job, so until then I'll be living off of and investing the generous parental allowance and see what happens.