Don’t Wanna Be Mr. Nice Guy Anymore

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December 7, 2018

Hey guys, I’ve been reading a lot recently on TRP and there is some good stuff. What i’ve noticed is preached a lot on this sub is having a ‘strong frame’. Every top post lol.

Any tips on how I can build my frame? I’m your typical nice guy lol. I’ve gotten friendzoned/ rejected before by girls before telling me that I’m nice and a good guy but not the one for them lmfao.

Also, I feel like im too talkative. If i’m talking to a girl I feel like I talk more than them to be honest. That’s something I wanna change too. Same with guys, It’s just a validation thing I guess. Smh.

I wanna change. I wanna change my persona, my sura. I wanna have control of social settings and not worry about what others think. But it’s hard. Any advice? 17 y/o btw, I probably sound stupid as f*ck but I just wanted to vent here.

Post Information
Title Don’t Wanna Be Mr. Nice Guy Anymore
Author LucidDreamin29
Upvotes 74
Comments 34
Date 07 December 2018 05:54 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Original Link
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Red Pill terms found in post:
framethe red pill

[–]TheStumblingWolf71 points72 points  (5 children) | Copy

If you're new hit the sidebar. Absorb as much material as you can. By absorb I don't mean change yourself by reading because that alone doesn't do anything. Read about how things work and you'll eventually see what your shortcomings are. Then pick one thing at a time to focus on and improve that.

Don't focus on the end results because you'll constantly find yourself lacking. Enjoy the journey and only measure yourself against who you were yesterday.

IMHO frame comes from having perspective. The more experience you get you'll learn that life is really just a game. When you know that shit stops mattering much to you. This is called outcome independence. For me be truly being a man comes not from knowing everything and getting only the results you want. It comes from knowing that no matter what happens, even if unfortunate, you'll be fine no matter what.

[–]redbananaboard10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree 100% with the comment, I would add that it might be interesting to start building up some power and owning your shit. Attack mind, spirit, and body. Frame and holding frame is a by-product of improving yourself, not only girls but everybody around you will feel that you have your shit in order whatever that means for you, that's powerful and power is the ultimate aphrodisiac.

[–]LucidDreamin29[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Will do, thanks for the advice. How do I get to the sidebar if I’m on mobile?

[–]trpboy12315 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

Go to the ask trp sub. Then you'll see three dots on the top right. Press that and you will see a community info option. That's your sidebar

[–]H0tTamal31 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The sidebar says that you are supposed to read it before participating in discussions on TRP. There is alot there to read but it is all required and necessary to understand TRP.

[–]haughtyhay33 points34 points  (1 child) | Copy

"Frame" in this sense is your paradigm, your worldview. The way you see things. To you, it's what's good and what's bad, what is interesting, what size tits are the most attractive. You know that everyone else has their own frame, but you also know that you're fucking *you*, and therefore your frame is better than everyone else's.

You can't really fake a strong frame as it's so non-verbal. The one thing you can try is when you're in social situations, just simply react less. (ex: you're playing soccer with your bros, and you jokingly go for a bicycle kick and actually score. Instead of screaming like a child, "OMG WTFFFFFFF", you just smirk and continue playing.)

First off, read the side bar. The main sub can be accessed on your phone and on your computer, but as its been months since the quarantine I can't remember how to do either. There's hundreds of comments in this sub that'll answer that for you though.

As for truly developing your frame, and after reading the side bar, you can:

- get some hobbies, become good at them

- approach more women, get your share of an abundance mentality

- find a mission, your one true gigantic goal in life

- learn to pass shit tests (comes naturally if you're truly confident, which you will be if you've done these first 3)

Also, Robert Glover - No More Mr. Nice Guy. Sounds like it was written just for you.

No such thing as being too talkative. If you like to talk, that's part of who you are -- it's a part of your frame. Yeah, there are aloof guys who are laid back, that's their thing. Another phrase for holding frame is "being congruent".

If you're chatting up an 8 at a high school party, and you're being all talkative, and then you remember reading that post by that really red-pilled dude who doesn't talk much, and you start to act like him, the girl will be like wtf. He was just talking so much.

Don't do that. Be congruent. Be the man you think is cool.

Good luck

[–]LucidDreamin29[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Wow, thank you for this!

[–]BigDickEnergy12321 points22 points  (3 children) | Copy

Here's some real advice, not this psuedo bullshit.

Girls tell you you're a nice guy, because you wait too long to make a move. You're too afraid of offending hri/rejection that you wait until it's a safe bet which your chance is already over.

You let a girl's perception of you affect your self-worth too much, instead of just being happy with yourself. Don't be afraid to tease/flirt/be sexual with them.

So do what makes you happy/be who you want/act however you want and if someone doesn't like it fuck em, there won't be any chemistry anyways.

Godspeed dude.

[–]LucidDreamin29[S] 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

That’s true, I take too much time to initiate lol. Thanks brother!

[–]altra_hex2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

That’s solid advice but still be choosy with who, when, and where for pulling the trigger (ie. don’t shit where you eat). There is this me too culture to keep in the back of your mind now, especially if you’re so young. I’ve read many horror stories about undergrad guys getting false accused last couple years. If that happens, it’s guilty until proven innocent.

[–]LucidDreamin29[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah I’ve read some of those stories too, over at the MGTOW sub. I’ll try to be careful, one little thing done wrong and here come the accusations lmao.

[–]c4toyourdoornobeef29 points30 points  (4 children) | Copy

personally I didn't like No More Mr. Nice Guy

Read the book of pook, changed my perspective on everything

[–]inexorable_stratagem9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

Exactly. Read The Book of Pook.

[–]c4toyourdoornobeef4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

the way he writes is brilliant aswell

[–]Aestheticcunt19961 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I recommend it as well. Very enlightening book (of Pook).

[–]sonnydanger1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

+1 for Pook. It takes a couple times to read everything and aborb the information, but when you do your life will change.

[–]NorthernWarriorRP 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

Also, I feel like im too talkative.

STFU. Words are a resource, to be used mindfully.

I wanna change... 17 y/o

Better to start now than later. Do what everyone else is saying and start by exhausting the sidebar. Don't stop at the reading either, too many people seem to fall into the trap of illusory (or imagined) change simply by convincing themselves that reading and internalizing information is the only step. You need to do the work.

[–]LucidDreamin29[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Everybody is telling me to go read the sidebar. I guess i’ma read the sh*t out of it lol. Thanks for the advice brother.

[–]Red902104 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Read book of Pook as well

[–]LucidDreamin29[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’ll check it out. Other people have also recommended me that book.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy

For now, forget about the girls. Focus on your mindset and how you can change it.

I can't tell if I'm still perceived as a nice guy or not but I surely still have remnants from my nice guy days. However. Here's how I overcame that shit and I invite you to try it.

First of all, in a nice guy's psyche, there is also a dysynchronie between what he internally genuinely think and what he does. You have to make synchronised to each other. Meaning, if you think that someone is being rude to you and you don't like them or you don't want to stay with them, let them know. If you think someone is crossing your boundaries, let them know. If you don't agree with a hoe on a certain point, give her a straight blatant "No. Bitch, you're wrong. Here's what I think is right".

When you become able to be in harmony with what you think and what you do, then the nice guy behaviour will decrease significantly.

Second tip is to not compliment a girl unless you're trying to get her attention. Even the complimenting doesn't have to be overdone. A simple, "You look beautiful in that skirt today" will be more than enough to let a girl that you're interested in her. And all the complimenting should be replaced by teasing, teasing and more teasing. Girls are insecure about so much bullshit, and if you playfully make them aware of that, they will love it. You don't have to be harsh on them, but you have to playful and it all depends on the way you say it, basically with a smile and a sexual look on your face.

My method for teasing is this: find the object of teasing, think about what could go wrong with it, and say it. For example, if she sings, "Jesus, I bet you sound so stupid when you're warming up to start sing, am I right?" Or if she's wearing a very colorful dress, "Oh you look like a clown". Or if she's a model, "Did stumble once and fell?" If your bro has this Viking haircut, "So what village are you raiding next?" Etc etc etc.

Thirdly, and this is probably the hardest point, TAKE INITIATIVE. Don't let the girl tell you what to do. You must tell her what to do, how and fucking when. And because you're convinced and in harmony with what you think and feel, she'll follow you around nonetheless. At first, try being authoritative in everything you do. Where to go, what to do, where to sit, what to order.. etc and all giving the impression that you're not actually doing it. "Oh, I know this cozy café place. Let's go there." "Alright, this table is good" and proceed to sitting down. "Oh, I know this café tastes amazing, I recommend it".

Here is a fresh example of this. Yesterday I went to Starbucks with a girl and she said, "Why Starbucks though?" "Why not?" I said. "Well, compared to other places, it's pretty expensive". "Yeah right. For me it's not."

We're about to order, "Did you try the pumpkin Halloween special?" "It looks disgusting, honestly. I'm getting me a tall latte". She orders a tall latte.

They want you to lead, man. They will put you in the position to lead. You'll see. The more you hang out with girls, the more you'll understand that they're fucking unable to take fucking initiative and decide for themselves. What you do is basically playing your role right and that's it.

[–]Aestheticcunt19968 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

„they‘re fucking unable to take fucking initiative and decide for themselves“. STRONG agreement with that. I see this all the fucking time I‘m going out with a girl. „So what are we gonna do?“ „So when do you plan to leave?“ „So where do we go next?“ „So when are you going to grab my titties, pull my panties down and fuck my brain out like there‘s no tomorrow?“

[–]LucidDreamin29[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bro you guys are giving me gems, thank you for this! I will try to apply this advice as well.

[–]peacemakerzzz3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I used to be like you. I've read a lot of books, worked out, made a lot of mistakes with women. Eventually, all these things compounded and taught me how to invalidate women's opinion; to do my own thing. If you do you, coupled with game, you're gonna be better than most guys. Most of these men don't know much about game other than brag about their money and all that stuff.

Frame is game. Game is the application of red pill knowledge. Therefore, (red pill) knowledge is power.

[–]MantogeMan3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I can and browsed and read posts at first but then like after 4 months I finally read the sidebar.

Read the sidebar.

[–]W_O_M_B_A_T2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I probably sound stupid as f*ck but I just wanted to vent here.

Iron Rule of Tomassi #9

NEVER SELF-DEPRECIATE under any circumstance. This is a Kiss of Death that you self-initiate and is the antithesis of the PRIZE mentality. Once you've accepted yourself as a "douche" there's no going back to confidence with any given person. Never appeal to anyone's sympathies, sympathies are given by someone's own volition, NEVER when they are begged for. You need action, not commiseration. Even if you don't seriously consider yourself pathetic, it never serves your best interest to paint yourself as pathetic.

[–]Thinkingard1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

What kind of men hold women to account? Jerkboys. What kind of men absolve women of personal responsibility? Niceguys. Women don't want a toady, they want a challenge, someone who will call them out on their shit. Jerkboys give them that thrill. It's obvious then, you can build frame by holding girls to account for their shitty behavior and then stick to it and never apologize. It's up to you to decide how much to apply this, I can see you taking it too far, but that may work with girls who want to be absolutely controlled.

[–]coldser1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Act like YOU are the prize not them

[–]1UnluckyPenguin1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'd strongly recommend buying a copy of The Rational Male.

Honestly though 17 y/o is too young because you aren't the least bit in control of your life. You can workout, but you can't exactly be alpha when you have no job, no money, and live with your parents.

[–]LucidDreamin29[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Haha true but i’m trying to prepare myself, graduating soon and I‘m gonna try to live life to the fullest.

[–]BusterVadge1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

My first suggestion is to drop the "lol" from your writing. It makes you seem very unsure of yourself. Speak clearly, directly, and in a commanding manner.

[–]LucidDreamin29[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It’s a bad habit.

[–]matootski1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

So lemme get this straight can we get back on the old The Redpill subreddit or do we have a new one after it was quaranteened?

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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