Almost everything about me enjoys or idealizes being beta. I like the idea treating others kindly. I like being meek, unpresumptuous, honest, complimenting and easily excitable. I like being emotional, investing in relationships, caring a lot and so much more that is considered beta. And I like to show all of that right from the start when meeting people. The overall ideas behind being beta, like unconditional love and selflessness appeal to me with to no bounds and make me a peace in a unique, but not complete way. The problem is, despite how I am, people don't seem to want anything to do with me. They regularly ignore me and I'm never sought out for anything social. It's hard for me to understand on an emotional level even though intellectually I understand and agree with a lot of TRP. Trying to be alpha not only does not come at all naturally, but it makes me very sad deep down.
So what can I do? My heart cries out in joy for all things beta, is repulsed by all things alpha, but I'm left with my needs unmet by being beta. It seems like a unsolvable problem.