Why do some days I feel super confident other days socially anxious?

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May 2, 2018

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Title Why do some days I feel super confident other days socially anxious?
Author jekporkins77
Upvotes 60
Comments 37
Date 02 May 2018 12:11 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/700
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/8ggwup/why_do_some_days_i_feel_super_confident_other/
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[–]Endorsed ContributorMetalgear22264 points65 points  (7 children) | Copy

I think this is mainly an introvert issue as well as general mood. Introverts recharge their batteries when they are alone, when they are fully charged you get a burst of confidence and the want to be very social.

Personally, I've experienced that the social anxiety is only IN ANTICIPATION of a social meet, not actually DURING the meet. So if you feel anxious before you go, just know in 5 minutes of being there, it won't last. You'll be your confident charming self (especially after a drink or two).

[–]bluemoviebaz8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

I would advise against the drink if your social anxious as all your doing is masking the route of the problem and drinking will make your anxious worse in following days and in the long run as you become dependent on having a drink. Speaking from 4 years experience of constantly drinking 4-5 nights a week I found once I stopped drinking for 2 weeks my all round mental health was incredibly stronger, anxiety. Low moods and drive all better

[–]empatheticapathetic4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

There’s a difference between excess and moderation.

[–]The_Lightskin_Wonder4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Seriously I always grab a drink if I want to be social on demand, I talk more fluently and openly. When I'm sober I can't keep up with my thoughts, and I get impatient when people try to small talk me.

[–]deville05-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is true. He could be neurotic as well. All the anxiousness is pre everything. It's over thinking. But that knowledge alone won't stop it either. The only thing that does is just going past it. But thats way easier said than done in your head and way easier done outside of it

[–]3d_truth-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

This whole introverts recharge their batteries thing sounds like complete bro science. If it were true, all introverts should feel like extroverts after a day by themselves.

[–]Endorsed ContributorMetalgear2220 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Takes up to 2-4 weeks for some.

If it were true, all introverts should feel like extroverts after a day by themselves.

THAT seems like broscience.

[–]3d_truth0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

THAT seems like broscience.

Yea of course it is. I was just rewording what you said.

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat27 points28 points  (7 children) | Copy

Sleep/diet. Raises your test, high test makes you feel like you can take on the world.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (6 children) | Copy

Overtraining is also incredibly bad for your test levels and makes you feel like shit (you’re also more injury prone and you won’t progress that well). You can overtrain on a bulk with 8+ hours of sleep and the cleanest healthiest diet in the world .

I often see comments like “Lift everyday or at least 5+ days a week “, this might not be the best idea for everyone and you won’t make better gains than someone on an upper/lower program or a full body program.

Just don’t write your own programs unless you seriously know what the fuck you’re doing , and don’t be training like roiders when you’re natty.(It doesn’t matter how strong they are or how many shows they won.

[–]BasketCase5592 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

This is true. Overtraining is arguably worse than under training, because with overtraining you're working your ass off and still not getting results.

[–]DiggerClam1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Bullshit. Professional ATHLETES overtrain, not people on reddit message boards.

[–]ieatsoggytoast0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

By definition anyone who goes to the gym regularly is considered an athlete...

[–]BasketCase5590 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's a huge generalization but I didn't say anything about who over trains. I said it's arguably worse than under training, considering both produce poor results but one requires working your ass off for poor results.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

People who are in the gym 2 hours a day everyday and yet can’t bench 2 plates after more than a year of training are overtraining.

You can definitely overtrain on a high volume program + intense boxing three+ times a week it s not that hard ..

[–]MrBowlfish26 points27 points  (1 child) | Copy

Could be drugs you're taking. Any medication? Caffeine? Could be blood sugar levels from diet. Could be sleep loss. You could be bipolar and experiencing manic and depressive phases. There are too many possibilities.

[–][deleted] 38 points39 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sleep. Biggest cause of the majority of hormonal problems.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

If I were you I would start a journal detailing what you eat, how many hours you sleep and the time of your workout. Then you can spot a trend in your behavior if there is one.

[–]Shredderick4205 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Can relate man. One day I feel completely like I own the world, so confident, feeling like I'm on a good spree/streak and like I could conquer the world and then there are days where I feel like I want to stay home all day in bed, lack of motivation and drive. Today I feel good.

[–]judethedude1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah sometimes I feel like I need to socially lube up, especially if coming from an engaging activity into socialization.

[–]Republic_of_Ash1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I have this problem sometimes too, but I'm not sure if it is Bipolar as the anxiety is very much caused by outside factors, I've noticed. I don't just wake up feeling shit but I'll have a week where I'll feel like a hero, and then the tiniest thing can happen, and I'm down for another week or maybe longer. Being low seems more prevalent than the highs.

[–]Scheme001 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

In all seriousness it could be masterbation. When I am fapping I have zero social confidence but about 2 days of not doing it I am highly confident. 10 days in and I am a beast picking up women on the street. Look into NoFap and semen retention.

[–]oyoungpadawan1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah man once in a blue moon I'm firing on all cylinders and I feel invincible. Rejection doesn't even graze me, girls start hitting on you because they pick up on your mood...

Other days I feel like I don't belong and I feel like a creep approaching girls.

[–]Duke_Maddog1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Been feeling like this for the last 5 years my bro. Recently I stopped drinking coffee, eating sugar , meat except for fish and i feel like a boss most days. Give it a crack see how it works for you.

[–]lnternetLiftingCoach 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

I feel the exact same way as you do and I am seriously in doubt whether I suffer from bipolar disorder type 2. Try taking some tests online. If anything seems out of the ordinary, consult your doctor. Remember, however, that there can be numerous reasons as someone else already pointed out.

[–]inscnmya3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy

Do not take tests online lol. That will only increase your anxiety and worries even more.

If you actually think you got a problem take your time to find a doctor and get an evaluation from a professional.

Stay away from SSRI and SNRI drugs though.

[–]mustang371160 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

It'll only make you anxious if you care that you have a problem hahaha

[–]inscnmya0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don’t talk like you’re this guy who doesn’t give a shit about anything.

If you actually mentally and physically feel bad and feel that something is wrong, these stupid online tests can really have an impact.

[–]lnternetLiftingCoach 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

Of course online tests cannot provide definitive answers to one's issues. However, I do believe they can be used as guidelines if you suspect something is wrong. That is why I advocate taking a few tests, and if anything is out of the ordinary, he should consult a professional, e.g. his doctor, for a thorough evaluation.

[–]inscnmya0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you research neck pain online you’ll get results from cancer to disc problems. Just a small example. Too many variables are at play here.

Thats why I suggest seeing a professional if you think something is wrong. Besides they can do a myriad of tests like hormone tests which can provide measurable and accurate/scientific results, as opposed to a vague diagnosis from some random survey you might fill out online.

[–]3chazthundergut0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Why do some days I feel super motivated to work out and some days it's a struggle?

[–]HyperSensitiveSigma0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Check your diet carefully, especially what you drink. A lot of soft drinks contains additives that can cause anxiety. So can bread. https://thyroidnation.com/bromine-in-soda-drinks-adversely-affects-your-thyroid-gland/

Everyone feels rough sometimes. Lifting regularly can increase confidence and stability. Cold showers help a lot.

[–]Swoleygrowly0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It could also be due to magnesium deficiency

[–]BasketCase5590 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is like asking "Why is it hot some days and cold others?" You're a living organism, not a statue. You're going to have ups and downs. Doesn't do you any good to feel bad about feeling bad. But you also shouldn't let it get in the way of doing what you need to do. Go with the flow, don't fight the current.

[–]1walawalawa0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I had this same issue for years, practically all my life. I identified it 20 years ago as co-dependency.

It's bad programming that leads to these bouts of anxiety. I still get it but then i stop myself and try to dissect the triggers for it.

I avoid the triggers: drama, negative people.

Also i have to recite like a mantra my successes to over-take all that negative self-feedback that propels me into that anxious state you describe.

It's truly about recognizing what is driving this and taking it apart.

It takes time and effort to dismantle co-dependency.

Understanding the Red Pill has been a huge help in reassuring myself that i'm on the right path.

[–]Peter_B_Long0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Numerous factors. Sleep, your mood, your attitude, your motivation, your looks, your mindset.

I feel like meditation helps a ton with being consistent with feeling confident and wanting to talk to people.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Every day isn’t going to be perfect. I got Monday’s I love Friday’s I hate. Vice versa. Life is dynamic and so are your emotions. You can’t enjoy a good day without knowing a bad one.

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