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What place does anger have in an alpha or man working on becoming an alpha?

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May 23, 2020
14 upvotes

Been around for 3-4 years posted a lot but mostly in TRP. Pretty comfortable with my knowledge. Worked through most side bar items in TRP, not as many in MRP.

Something that has escaped me all this time is what place does anger(as well as timing on showing it) have in a TRP/MRP/Alpha man’s life?

Of course, we don’t want to get but hurt over little things. Of course, shit tests need to be passed with an attitude of not giving a shit. Early on, reading Rational Male I got the impression a man should never show anger. Getting into 48 laws of power, getting emotional causes you to lose power. Considering stoicism and Marcus Aurelius, there’s a lot of reasons to not be or at least never show anger.

But through reading, experience, conversations with men and women, even my own experience with people that I look up to, it seems like there’s definitely a place for anger, albeit minimal.

Women often communicate their lizard brains are turned on by an angry man. But obviously out of control, dangerous, or weak(angry about little things aka butt hurt) anger in a man isn’t attractive. I’ve even seen/read about women getting turned on by a man yelling angrily at them, prob for a type of disobedience where she knows she was wrong and knows he’s trying to protect her. Similar to the way a dad might yell at a child for doing something dangerous(not because he is in a state of disliking them but rather in a state of hating their choices which could have brought harm to something he loves dearly.)

I can guess that at the least a sort of righteous anger that is directed at something that is attacking a woman or her children can be a positive experience for her, as long as it’s few and far between and controlled. Although my mind also goes to the confident silent alpha that knows he can destroy the little dweeb that grazed his woman’s ass in a club and doesn’t need to get angry or make threats.

I haven’t run across anything or anyone that describes the acceptable nuance here and really drawn the line.

Any books, articles, posts I’ve missed? Can someone give me some advanced thoughts that has found the answer to this question?

After thought: something that helps me work through concepts and kill my latent blue pill tendencies is flipping the scene. So doing that, I imagine an angry woman and how I would react to that. Out of control and crazy bitch is obviously weird and at times can cause a fight or flight trigger in me. But there’s definitely something I could see as attractive in a woman that is expressing the right type of anger. There’s a type of confidence you can see when you compare the difference between a controlled woman expressing anger and making coherent statements vs a crazy bitch flailing her arms around and screeching.


Post Information
Title What place does anger have in an alpha or man working on becoming an alpha?
Author alpha-zach
Upvotes 14
Comments 34
Date 23 May 2020 01:42 AM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/701054
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/gowdan/what_place_does_anger_have_in_an_alpha_or_man/
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Comments

[–]lolomotif1212 points13 points  (9 children) | Copy

Uncontrolled anger is an emotion that can cause us to do things we shouldn't and potentially get us in trouble however controlled anger can be a great tool if used correctly.

[–]alpha-zach0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy

I can agree. What are the details there? Do you have a story or personal experience where controlled anger worked in your favor? Or even just a story you’ve heard or a historical story?

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret5 points6 points  (7 children) | Copy

Let's imagine a TRP faggot strolls in here with an autistic view on being alpha after years of reading the TRP sidebar. He's comfortable with his shitty autistic knowledge. Alfa this, beta that.

And asks questions about not being autistic. So he yells at him in the way a dad might yell at a child for doing something dangerous and tells him to read the sidebar.

You know, like that.

[–]alpha-zach3 points4 points  (6 children) | Copy

Horns, I genuinely enjoyed that.

At first I rolled my eyes thinking it was another one of those irritating shit testy attacks I have to wade through to get enough respect to get a real answer from the mods. But I really enjoyed how you ended it. So many guys ask questions and get frustrated here, not understanding why the mods attack viciously. But it really answered my question pretty well through example. Beautifully orchestrated.

Which book or article in the side bar touches on anger or even the place that any emotion or the expression of it has in the context of an MRP lifestyle?

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Thanks, I'm honing the craft.

Most of the time I roll my eyes at TRP faggots since you're mostly just autistic betas LARPing alpha strategies to get laid and have no real "inner game" as the autists put it.

Thats why guys in their 30s and 40s are running circles around ya'll and fucking your women. Then those faggot leave that interaction and say "I need to make more money! Women suck!"

Probably why I'm banned from TRP. My tolerance level is pretty low for bullshitters and their bullshit.

Steele's guide has the answers. You're looking for a way to express your emotions like a man instead of being a RP robot. Also MMSLP.

[–]Praexology4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Good indicator of the types of guys in that sub when a primary contributor and mod is banned.

TRP is ego central.

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

To be fair there are a very, very small number of guys there who I respect. But most of them are butthurt ego faggots, major ECs included, that couldn't hold a frame candle to half the faggots that come in here to do the work.

[–]AlohaMaui8080 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Its easy to tell you've never looked at the MRP sidebar "bro"

[–]man_in_the_worldRed Beret6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lucky you ... u/weakandsensitive already has a great post about this.

Stop tolerating bullshit. Start showing controlled anger.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I am always pissed.

[–]JCX_Pulse2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

I, for one, see value in this question. Maybe because I’m still new to this shit, but I think there are a lot of things that we deal with in every day life that aren’t clearly addressed. I linked a post below that details how a man properly expresses his emotions. The example given is from a movie, and the article talks about how the main character USES anger as a tool to accomplish his goal. I don’t want to butcher the meaning, so read it yourself, but after reading this article several times, I’ve come to recognize anger as this:

A man is always in control of his emotions. He will feel a range of emotions on a daily basis without being ruled by them. Anger can be used as an tool when necessary, but not the type of blind rage you seem to be posting about. It’s a calculated use of power and conviction.

Anger is not to be wasted on women. There is no use being mad at them, fighting with them, or seeing them as anything else as helpless victims of their emotions. Demonstrating or peacocking for a woman with anger isn’t how alpha men do things. You always put your mission first and your decisions all ladder up to that mission. Because a woman should never be your mission, using anger for a woman isn’t congruent to ones goals.

I could blabber on more but just read this thing and see what you get from it.

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/5ntc44/expressing_emotions_like_a_man/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

Edit: link

[–]alpha-zach0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Thank you. I read the post this morning. Watched the movie around 10am. And definitely picked out the references and value hidden in Spades’ use of anger or other emotions strategically.

It’s starting to form for me mentally where emotion has a place to be expressed.

I’d say I have my shit together at a fairly advanced level. But I’ve definitely depended on STFU and passing shit tests too much and not learned to strategically utilize my emotions(or even perceived emotions that I could have toward a given situation.) Likely when I do use emotions it’s been more out of being overwhelmed by them, but I have enough frame and control of my world that people either don’t perceive me as being out of control or I’m able to quickly reign it in and use a Machiavellian twist of the situation to make them think I was in control the entire time.

Working on the other responses now.

Again thank you.

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Likely when I do use emotions it’s been more out of being overwhelmed by them, but I have enough frame and control of my world that people either don’t perceive me as being out of control or I’m able to quickly reign it in and use a Machiavellian twist of the situation to make them think I was in control the entire time.

LARPing confirmed.

Who's frame are you in again?

[–]alpha-zach-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

We’re all LARPing until we meet up against a new experience or challenge we haven’t come across. In that moment we decide to win and grow or lose and shrink.

The closest we get to not LARPing is being x number of times greater than those around us such that they don’t perceive it.

The mighty oak no matter how great or strong is still only as strong as the last hurricane. Tomorrow’s hurricane may easily tear it to shreds, but does that mean it was faking it the entire time?

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Your mental models suck and are fucking shit.

The closest we get to not LARPing is being x number of times greater than those around us such that they don’t perceive it.

Who's frame are you in again?

We’re all LARPing until we meet up against a new experience or challenge

Are you in the new challenge or experience's frame?

The mighty oak no matter how great or strong is still only as strong as the last hurricane

Maybe you're in this one?

Tomorrow’s hurricane may easily tear it to shreds

Or maybe you're in the future's frame?

but does that mean it was faking it the entire time?

No, it means you have no frame of your own. LARPing is using a frame you perceive you are when it's something that you most definitely are not.

When a new challenge shows itself to me I already know how I'm going to address it, and I believe it and I make it my bitch. I also adjust my plan and tactics which are extensions of my frame. Not it's root.

Go read some posts on frame. STFU more. Lift more. Sidebar more. Fucking W&S was right from the getgo. Stop being retarded.

[–]weakandsensitive0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

at a fairly advanced level

How do you figure? From this post and your responses, I'd take the under every day.

[–]youcantdenythat1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Anger is great in the gym. Actually it's fine anywhere.

Besides that any emotion can be expressed but oak frame needs to be solid and outcome independence is crucial.

Any hint of despair, depression, giving up, indecisiveness , or guilt can dry her up quickly and start some nuclear shit testing.

[–]alpha-zach0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I see what you’re saying with this. I’d normally categorize despair, depression, and guilt as types of emotions. But I def see how they have elements that aren’t just emotional.

That said, this is prob part of my personal narrative, but I also see too much happiness, excitement, or smiley-ness as nice guy behavior. In moderation fine and even enjoyable for her. But my experience is that if I let it go too long without snapping back to my more stoic frame, it creates too much familiarity which opens the door for disrespect the very second she sees the tiniest weakness. As well, in me personally, that familiarity builds too much of a friendly feeling which then I fall into the trap of opening up too much one day about a tiny blip of struggle at work or something. Then while she empathizes it slowly wears on her and she sees less oak, creating insecurity in her.

Eventually that comes to a head and I have to deal with her getting some heavy emotions about something meaningless over and over until I realize she’s actually just insecure about me, but doesn’t know how express it and projects it on minor problems. Then I reset and get everything back to normal over the course of a week. But it’s a cycle I’ve just started avoiding. So I aim to keep to a lower level of emotion as much as I can to keep life simple.

[–]youcantdenythat1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I see what you’re saying with this. I’d normally categorize despair, depression, and guilt as types of emotions.

Emotions are usually mixed up with other emotions.

I'm fucking pissed off Joe at the office took credit for my work and got a promotion; is anger with a side of depression.

I'm so fucking pissed at myself I crashed into someones car today and totaled it. Anger with a side of guilt.

Fuck, the neighbor's dog barks all night and I can't get any sleep and I'm not sure what to do about it. Anger with a side of indecisiveness.

On the other hand

My roommate Joe took our rent money and spent it on coke. When he comes home I'm gonna fuck him up. This will make her wet.

Dammit, you left a mess in the kitchen again, go clean it up. If this is normal behavior for you, this will also make her wet.

[–]Bigboyleggos0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Have an upvote. Great layout of simple examples.

[–]so_woke_da_wookie0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

How would you rate yourself at DEERing and STFU?

[–]theycallmenubs0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I have always struggled with anger, but I also feel it has helped me get to where I am in life. I have a strange way of getting things done by getting pissed off at the situation instead of the person. An example would be when I'm trying to get someone to do their job and I get them to understand how the situation is fucked up and what they need to do to fix it. I probably come across as an asshole, but a logical one so it's hard to argue against. A specific example is I had to have a new sewer line dug all the way to the meter in the alley. A guy from the city called nearly a year later because the concrete had started to sink some and wanted me to fix it. Fortunately for me the guy I had do the concrete does a lot of work for the city. I got very angry and basically told them to "get their boy" and not call me again. Never heard a word about it again. Probably not a great example but have had many like that where I feel I use my anger to my advantage versus shutting down or having a victim mindset, if that all makes sense.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Anger is an emotion.

Anger is emotion let loose.

When you let a feeling loose, it has repercussions.

Always.

[–]so_woke_da_wookie0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Everyman has his own kryptonite.

[–]TaipanshimshonRed Beret0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

Do you have any semblance of frame?

[–]weakandsensitive2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

You already know this, but for everyone that doesn't, this is the correct answer.

[–]TaipanshimshonRed Beret0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

And yet no one else seems to.

Bruh you slacking on the faggot hammer or what ?

[–]weakandsensitive2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not a mod here.

[–]so_woke_da_wookie0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Ha, I was paging WAS on homo-kundalini epiphanies over here a few weeks back. Found out that the his Soy Boy hammer and anvil don’t work over here too.

[–]TaipanshimshonRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

His powers are limited I guess

[–]so_woke_da_wookie0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Everyman has his own kryptonite.

[–]alpha-zach4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Obviously not. You should spend your time on someone more worthy



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