They ended up in the friend zone right where girls put them, then they wake up to the fact that it is less painful and stressful if you act like a jerk. But then somebody tells them to "just be [themselves]". Is the girl who wears a lot of make up being herself? Is the girl who wears high pumps to look taller being herself?

Being a nice guy means that you are the last person on a hot girls list of dates. When she is older and all used up, when she cant attract as many exciting guys anymore, she wants to settle down. This poor guy now has to put up with a high maintenance woman who is really just sloppy seconds. I used to be a nice guy but I found it to be exhausting. Opening doors and going out of my way to please girls, only to be walked on. Measuring my words carefully so as not to offend them in any way and apologizing if i do, and being given the go around automatically. Always looking for their approval before I do something only to be looked at weird. Eventually you cant do it anymore and you realize that what you are doing just isn't exciting to anybody of the opposite sex. They just give up on trying to find love and take themselves out of the dating pool, at least until they find some way to move on without carrying such a burden. This is not just a few thousand guys, we're talking about millions of nice guys everywhere. It is a very new trend. Guys who are fed up with girls in our strange dating world here in the united states. I for one want a girl from Russia or Buenos Aires. I have spent my entire life learning how to treat a girl right. But what about finding a girl who wants to treat a man right for a change. Then people call them picky and shallow or that they want a slave (by the way, society in the western world is itself very shallow). All they want is someone who will actually start the conversation and answer text messages. That doesn't lead them on for a week only to stop responding. Someone who wont go crazy with their demands in a relationship and start tantrums with no regards for anybody's feelings. It's not too much to ask.

They may be taken by cougars who celebrate being aggressive and they have a laundry list of things that they want out of a man. They want him to be taller and richer than her. They want him to be a better cook. They want him to be masculine when she wants it and then also feminine when she feels like controlling someone. That's just too conflicting and confusing. There is no way that a man can be all that. They want him to have a great job even in the face of this really tough job market. But the guy who is gainfully employed, that is what she calls a 'nice man' and so her criteria eliminates many many men from her eyes and these poor guys become invisible in the dating world.

If they cant get anywhere by being a nice guy then they will try being a jerk to most of the women they meet. To me it was freeing to be a heretic and I derive pleasure from breaking my chains of nice guy bondage whenever I can. This makes it harder for girls who don't fall for jerks and don't date many men only to settle down later on, to find that nice guy. It hurts nice guys that they try to be the prince or the saviour to sweep her off her feet and even pay for her debts, only to be passed up for a jerk who beats her and abuses her (or maybe even cheats on her). But she keeps on coming back for more. Why would you want to hang around such a person? So some guys eliminate really hot girls from their dating pool because they are most likely too much trouble and are found to be a constant source of rejection. If you meet a nice girl who is sweet and is attractive to you, you usually meet a reference to her boyfriend a few minutes later. Well, at least they were honest and didnt waste your time by leading you on. It's a token niceness (and that's cool), but it's not enough. But beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder and there are truly many fish in the sea.

It wont hurt to be mean to a bunch of them for a change because they will keep on coming. I for one have slammed a door in a girl's face for fun. I might tell them off if they want change for some money (what am I a bank?). And the liberating heresy comes when I realize that I dont have to apologize for any of it at all. Then they subsequently want to bang this confident man. But they cant have me, and furthermore they cant have guys like me. It doesn't matter how hot they are, I dont have to be a slave anymore. God forbid that you offend them and then suffer the cold shoulder from some girl, Im happy with myself. People may call me a jerk or a sad person. But I am not alone in this type of realization. Once you have it you cant go back. Maybe we are harming ourselves, but its up to ourselves to decide. Above all they hate the girls who ask that question because the answer is so simple. They are right under your nose and always have been.