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Ex porn addicts, how did you quit porn?

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mrkinix
June 8, 2020
83 upvotes
askTRP
/r/asktrp/comments/gyyxox/ex_porn_addicts_how_did_you_quit_porn/


Post Information
Title Ex porn addicts, how did you quit porn?
Author mrkinix
Upvotes 83
Comments 73
Date 08 June 2020 01:04 PM UTC (8 months ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/701938
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/gyyxox/ex_porn_addicts_how_did_you_quit_porn/
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Comments

[–]Rexile102 points103 points  (7 children) | Copy

I've focused my mind on other things like lifting, reading and working on my projects and spent majority of my time socially so I didn't even have time to watch porn or sexy images, even at night because by the time I was in bed I was already tired from my productive day.

[–]mrkinix[S] 13 points14 points  (6 children) | Copy

So you never get any urges? If not, how did you handle them?

I could spend the whole day busy or out, but when I find just a little bit of free time, I do the deed.

[–]Rexile52 points53 points  (1 child) | Copy

Ofcourse I had urges, but I tried to not give any attention to them. Obviously it's harder when you have spare time but if you can, try distracting yourself with a video game or whatever that makes you focus on it entirely. Or if you're just abstaining from porn (and not porn and masturbation) then wank it off using purely your imagination and get used to doing it that way.

Get used to feeling horny because nowadays people do the deed the moment they feel horniness, it wasn't the case before. People aren't accustomed to feeling horny and they think it's just like being hungry, that you have to immediately do something with it. Nowadays you can just watch porn with few clicks or hookup with someone via social media.

Either accept the craving and let it pass or busy yourself. Cheers and good luck.

[–]sandesh2k171 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Most sensible answer!

[–]Xelayahska16 points17 points  (1 child) | Copy

I relapsed a lot but each time after, I could go longer without it. Fap without porn if you feel that horny.

[–]zeekt126 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah legit, the more you relapse the more you realize it isnt worth it.

[–]dark_rabbit6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

I found that if you can go 7 days without porn/fapping, the urges go down dramatically. Then you're left with "what if i just peak once..." type of thoughts. If you can get to day 12, all of a sudden you'll have zero urges and you'll be amazed that you don't think about it anymore.

The first 7 days are by far the hardest, and I found it best to find something to keep you busy during that time where you have zero down time. A big project, or travel, etc. Also, remove all porn from your phone, and unfollow any thirst traps on instagram.

[–]FinallyRed3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

You may as well just accept the fact that you may well forever have the urges until perhaps you reach a time where you have a different girl to fuck every day of the week (which poses its own difficulties).

You'll hopefully always be a healthy male and porn and trivially easy release will always be a click away. You may have to continually remind yourself the reasons why quitting is more worthwhile than giving in. That all being said, you may never be an "ex porn addict".

[–]phertick8534 points35 points  (12 children) | Copy

This may sound condescending, but I simply decided to stop watching porn. You just stop doing it. Thats it.

[–]armchairplane14 points15 points  (4 children) | Copy

Can confirm. Over 500 days porn/masturbation free.

[–]LiberianCongauBCBa1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You are my hero

[–]SpareVanilla0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I’m 5 months in and am I not seeing the effects that other claim nor benefits that I expected like stopping pe

[–]gediwer0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Stopping pe? What’s that?

[–]SpareVanilla0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Premature ejaculation

[–]theoverlordactual2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Same here, I found nofap and your brain on pron a year ago, been trying to quit ever since. But with no avail, it got bad, then I watched the video again. And decided to just quit. I made it 40 days without fapping, then fapped without porn. It's so different.

This time it was easier tbh. But don't expect to be. If it was easy everyone would do it. But it's absolutely rewarding.

[–]macrian1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I did exactly the same with smoking to be honest :)

[–]phertick851 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

It's just a decision isnt it? I did the same with smoking. U still want to, but u just dont.

[–]macrian0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My exact experienvce with smoking. I still want to, 7 months out, but, I. JUST. DON'T. This is easy when the withdrawal symptos are not as severe as with some hard drugs, those are a complete different case. Either way though, get control of your life

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

[deleted]

[–]phertick852 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nice one, man! It's all in your mindset. It's your decision and yours alone. And it's binary, you either do or you don't. Just pick one. Glad the advice helped.

[–]steadygrowingbonsai45 points46 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’ve been involved in the nofap community since november of last year because of that no nut november meme or however it goes. It started as a joke but when I actually started noticing the urges i freaked out! Wtf! Why can’t i control myself!? It freaks you out man. I’ve never done drugs, never smoked, which are supposed to be the big bad addictive stuff right..? I only jerked off 3 times a day which was normal right...? My friend group even jokes about jerking it non stop and other meme shit and they’re serious.

That is how I found out I actually had a problem. For 5 months I had been trying to stop myself with stupid shit like reading what chumps on nofap had to say, their testimonials of their struggles and what not. For five months I’ve been struggling.

Until I heard about yourbrainonporn (dot) com. Holy fuck that site scared me, jesus christ. When you actually read up on and understand what this shit does to you you won’t be the same. Since then I gave up porn for good and haven’t looked back, it should be like 2 months so far.

Here are the positives:

-porn would literally kill my energy, now with not jerking off I’ve got much more time to focus on important shit like my schoolwork

-I’m a lot more interested in real world women. Before I was like a zombie outside, in my 22 years I’ve never thought of really getting together with a girl but since I’ve quit, I’m like a hound dog, finally feeling like a sexual man

-I’m not training myself to be a cuck. Literally

I’ve long left the nofap reddit since I don’t need all the cuddling from them every time I fail at not touching my willy to successful men plowing women I found attractive (see how retarded that sounds) and have been reminding myself of how harmful porn is.

Incidentally had I not found nofap trough the meme I wouldn’t have found trp which changed my life and worldview fundamentally. So in a sense, jerking off 3 times a day for the last however many years has shown me the resource to becoming that top male and live my life.

Cheers buddy, be sure to read the main bit on yourbrainonporn (dot) com

[–]bestsparkyalive16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

First of all it takes away from real life. Sexual experiences with women, the way you view women in general when your always drained from artificial orgasms. Second of all it hit me that I’m watching dudes get off and that is what I am jerking it to. That is the most beta male shit on the planet. And I really don’t like to use the alpha/beta terminology. But think about it.... it’s true. It’s gross. We’re supposed to be men. Not slaves to a screen.

[–]Don_Draper2714 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy

I always just ask myself, "Do I want to jerk off to some hot chicks getting fucked or do I want to put in the work to be the guy who fucks these hot chicks?"

Watching porn does have distinct negative effects in your life. Me personally if I PMO I'll immediately regret it after. I get noticeable brain fog, my drive and motivation plummet, and my frame around women takes a toll.

If I relapse badly and start binging really hardcore porn I'll notice that I check out women frantically. What's bad about this is that I'll sexualize the not hot girls even more than the really hot girls. Like I'll see a hot girl and almost avoid them because I immediately think that they're out of my league and I shouldn't even bother. Then, if I interact with the not hot girls I'll still be nervous and be so out of my head. Obviously this is bad and a very toxic mindset to have.

We all will get urges though and especially now with however seriously you are taking the social distancing order we all don't have easily available pussy just a phone call away.

Whenever I get uncontrollable urges (often times you can just distract yourself by doing something that needs to get done) I just let myself masturbate without porn. I'll take a shower and do my thing but I'll try and be mindful of the sensation. I'll be aware of what speed and intensity gets me going (imo this helps with sex because you're better understanding of your body).

I'll also practice orgasm without ejaculation. Basically as soon as you're about to hit the point of no return, you squeeze your pelvic floor muscles to "hold" the ejaculation but still feel the orgasm. From my experience I've found that there's energy in our ejaculation. When we release this ejaculation we also release this sexual energy and we then feel tired and fatigued. I believe that the whole, "As soon as he came he rolled over and fell asleep" complaint comes from.

To add to this and wrap this up, with orgasm without ejaculation during sex you can practice and train yourself to hit that orgasm that typically ends the intercourse, BUT, with withholding your ejaculation you can actually maintain your erection and after 10 - 15 seconds of a short "cool down" period you can continue to penetrate and immediately go for round 2, and then 3, and 4, etc.

[–]MigosXdd1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I just want to say thank you. This was truly inspiring.

[–]DoubleConversation438 points39 points  (6 children) | Copy

You watch porn because you have nothing else to do and you like the dopamine. But that dopamine is only making you more miserable in the long term

Best way to quit is quit it cold turkey, and go do something else whenever you want to watch porn

Get hobbies, I can't take a man who watches porn serious

Porn literally fucks up your brain

[–]mrkinix[S] 11 points12 points  (5 children) | Copy

I have hobbies and shit, I lift, run, read, program and so on, but once I think about porn, I just don't give a shit about what I was doing and jump to pornhub.

[–]DoubleConversation416 points17 points  (4 children) | Copy

You have a weak willpower and can't control what you're doing

You should try cold showers and meditating

And block all porn websites on a router-level, since you're a programmer you should be able to do that very easily

https://nofap.com/

[–]Landsherr7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Most of nofap is you don't fap for just 30 days 90 days 365daysand get this benifits. So it reinforces a model of if you fail after 30 days, you start over.

However it doesn't do a great job at giving a difference between lapse and relapse. So when you are in mentality that you need to start over, one tends to imagine that you need to do it again for 30 days to get the said benifits.

And as we know, we don't usually have the patience and we go back to our roots and past habits.

But look at drug or alcohol addiction recovery models and it is very different from porn addiction recovery models such as no fap.

Hence, I suggest that one read the SMART recovery handbook. It actually is great and helped me a lot.

[–]mrkinix[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I don't want to sound like a bitch, but I do meditation and cold showers every morning. I tried to block porn websites, but it only works for a short period of time, it's not that hard to unblock them. Also nofap is irrelevant, I'm okay with masturbating but not to porn.

[–]eucalyptusleaves6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

The only person that can make you change is YOURSELF. Porn is the goddamn devil, and you shouldn't want any part of it. Fucks up your brain in so many different ways

[–]rinse_and_rise8 points9 points  (3 children) | Copy

TBH I haven't read this but it comes highly recommended. Same type of book many swear by to quit smoking, alcohol etc.

https://pmohackbook.org/

I went 90 days without PMO 10 years ago after experiencing ED in my early 20s, traumatic shit. Nutted in a few chicks (HOORAY I'm cured lol) then slowly crawled back into PMO comfort zone.

Quitting again now, no porn whatsoever, I allow myself to jerk once a week with a well lubed fleshlight. If you're planning on occasionally jerking I'd recommend that as your grip is probably way tighter than any pussy.

Porn just ruins normal sex which is one of life's greatest pleasures, especially if you started early and relied on PMO for a decade or more.

[–]MagnetoWned2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Wow, this book is awesome! I started reading it on Tuesday and I’m about halfway done. So far since, I have no urge to look at porn anymore. I’ve read subs like nofap and YBOP YEARS ago but always thought nofap was weird “I didn’t fap for 7 days I FEEL LIKE A CONQUEROR NOW” and YBOP made me stick my head in the sand (like the book says) and ignore it. Thank you for linking this

[–]rinse_and_rise2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Glad to hear it's helping, I've begun reading it since I linked it too

[–]Lifteador1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Currently 43 days clean after reading it and I don't think I will ever PMO ever again tbh

[–]Thinkingard7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

3 weeks dry. I realized I had never lived any portion of my post puberty life without porn. It was always present and effecting me. With a smartphone it became even more invasive on my mind. In the past I had to be on a cpu but now I can access it anywhere.

I decided I wanted to live life, even a part of it, without porn. I never had any plans for porn it just became a habit I assumed would go away once I was married and had regular sex. Except it didn’t go away. It actually interfered with my relationship. I’m too old to be addicted to porn. I committed myself to abandoning it. I deleted all of my subs dedicated to my ideal female.

One unexpected result of going noporn is that I miss the women. Normal women become much more attractive yes, but you aren’t seeing them naked. You miss seeing a variety of naked women. It’s not anything bad enough to make me relapse but your memories of the women you consumed start to fade. I am realizing something about how the porn invaded my psyche and made me assume in some kind of hindbrain type way that all those women were mine. It has also become harder to masturbate but when I do thinking of normal vanilla sex is more than enough. You also feel cheated when masturbating because it is too quick and easy and you need someone to turn you on and satisfy you. I thought I would be hornier but I have actually gained some freedom from horniness.

[–]DonJuan_6913 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

I would do ab workouts or sometimes i would pray.

[–]alphaonthecomeup3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I like this

[–]PixelGummyBears5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Think of an older version of yourself watching you watch porn. You’ll feel embarrassed.

[–]RagingMayo4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

It was weird for me. I had a bad case of oneitis in winter of last year and during that time my lust for porn somehow vanished. I was so focused on that one particular girl and I got kinda depressed over it. (That was also the time I first found TRP.)

And somehow as a blessing in disguise I still didn't watch porn, even after leaving the oneitis behind me. I gotta say that I relapsed and watched porn around 4-5 times in the last 7 months which is still pretty great for me. I haven't fapped in the last 7 months, though. I am still trying to make up my mind around masturbating because it was normally only connected to porn for me. Due to my past experiences with porn, I am kinda scared to try out just fapping. I imagine that I could become a fapping loser, just like I was a PMOing loser before.

However my sex drive is....well driving me nuts. Never had a girlfriend and I don't have any "prospects" to have sex with anytime soon either. The only thing that helped me regulate my sex drive so far was hitting the gym regularly. When I wasn't working out, I felt like my head was exploding because all I could think about was spreading my semen like a damn caveman.

[–]Rolfenstien3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

The only reason I used to pmo a lot was because I had nothing better todo, then I started reading TRP and found some hobbies which I loved. I did so much stuff that I had no time for stupid girls on screens

[–]anotherpatch3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Porn will turn you into a cuck. Straight up.

Fill your time up with shit to do. When you get the urges, or that devil starts whispering in your ear, saying "come on, one time wont hurt". You tell that bitch to shut up and stop lying.

The reason I fapped to porn was to escape. You have to get out of that mindstate. This is life and life is a blessing man. You gotta get on your purpose and do your thing.

[–]Landsherr2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Read the smart recovery handbook and do all the exercises. Nofap is a bad system for porn addiction recovery. You can find the book on z lib.

[–]Peruaan2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Came to the epiphany (pun intended) that I was wasting my time. I felt numb and eventually the anxiety went up. How can I be the high value person I want to be, if I just keep staring at OTHER people fucking on a screen?

[–]mkovic1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I figured out that my porn addiction was a stand in for my having a shitty social life and being a 24/7 workaholic with no fulfilling downtime, so I started trying to go out more and it almost completely disappeared. After the quarantine started and the novelty of the situation wore off a month in, the urges started to come back which seems to have confirmed the cause.

[–]pinouchon1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

In a few days it will be 2 years since I've completely stopped watching porn.

I think fapping with your imagination and regular fucking is ok, but porn definitely is not. It's way too unnatural and fucks with your brain. One thing that surprised me was trying for once to fap like in the old days (before the internet, just with my imagination) and seeing how hard it actually is.

At some point I decided to change a bunch of things in my life: quitting videogames, sugar and junk information (petty news & social media sites). Porn was part of the "package". I managed to keep most of these habits.

One thing that made it easier was living with flatmates and not having a computer in my room. That way, to watch porn, I would need to plan it by bringing a computer in my room, finding a suitable spot etc... This small hurdle makes it much easier to resist any urges. If porn is just a "ctrl+shift+n" away, you will have a hard time resisting it (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2Wcu6aGyz8). With that said, the first few months, I did it through sheer willpower because I had my own flat & privacy.

There have been some urges though. As other people have said it: fucking your hand with your imagination, or doing something else to occupy your mind will help. The urges are the worst when I'm feeling akratic and unmotivated, but I've learned to recognize that state and apply the proper fix (depending of the situation: going for a run, stopping to work, starting to work, talking to a friend).

In the first few months I had a recurring dream where I would catch myself watching porn and so breaking the promise, after a few more months I stopped having these, now porn is just not part of my life anymore and the urges are very rare.

[–]Guarnerre19951 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You want to watch a stud fuck the living shit out a woman you desire?

Cuck, thats what made me stop instantly

[–]sjswander940 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I didn't quit and I was never "addicted". When i have multiple girls on rotation I literally dont have time to jerk off, maybe 1 or 2 times a week as opposed to everyday or 2x a day when I wasn't getting laid.

Not sure if that's a strategy, but when you have a stable sex life pieces of the puzzle tend to fall in the right places.

[–]breathintoyourballs0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

By reading about how porn wants to destroy me and turn me into a mentally sick loser.

I'd still rub one off once a week but wouldn't watch porn. Fuck that shit.

[–]Thinkingard2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I second this it helps to know that porn is nowhere near your friend but is meant to take over and inflame your passions so you are more easily controlled. Also reading page after page of normal girls lamenting their porn addicted boyfriends shows how destructive it is.

[–]breathintoyourballs0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

At one point normal porn wasn't satisfying me anymore that's when i knew something was wrong, luckily i saved myself before it was too late.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It’s one of those things where you just have to make the decision to do it, then you actually do it. Find the willpower. Find something else to occupy your time.

[–]SavorThePill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Many people here have given you solid answers. I've nothing really unique to contribute except to say that it's much easier than you think. There's actually no secret.

The answer you seek is simple: stop watching porn. With that in mind, you can take the methods from the comments here and implement them into your strategy to keep you away from such a perverse and shameful activity. The methods of staying busy and changing your mindset are crucial to the endeavor of exerting further discipline over your life by quitting porn.

Yet don't forget that the quitting itself is literally just to quit. It's not easy, but it is simple.

[–]AuberyBitoni0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I just did, at first it was hard, but now I go weeks without porn without even realizing it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Realized what a simp thing to do it is. I still look sometimes, but I would rather spend my time and energy doing other fulfilling things instead of support the thot economy.

[–]Sin-Silver0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Porn was always a stress release for me, an easy dopamine hit whenever you need it. Keeping yourself buys with other, more productive and rewarding dopamine hits is the way to get over it.

The biggest challenge for me was braking the habit of doing it before bed. I set myself the goal of only doing it on Friday and Sunday nights, and spending the last hour before bed reading until I was so sleepy I just went straight to bed.

[–]Joe_Doblow0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The benefits help me refrain from my impulses. Benefits- More energy, more ambition, better with women, more lively

[–]empatheticapathetic0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Having a good enough reason to quit and believing it was possible.

[–]basebool0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Same way you quit anything in the proper manner: cut it out little by little.

Cutting cold turkey is actually bad for your body. You will experience harsh withdrawals (depending how long you have been doing it), will be plain miserable and your chances of relapsing is much higher.

For example, if you watch porn once a day, only do it 4 times the next week. Then only 3 times the week after, than 2, than 1. Before you know it you will maybe watch it once in a blue moon when your really horny and have no one else around.

Also the generic advice of keeping yourself busy with other things is also a great idea to help.

[–]mortalcoil10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Got addicted to opiates. Lost my sex drive. Also quit drinking which had become a problem after I got out of the military. Got off of opiates. Still don't watch porn very often, and the porn I do watch is less... degrading. Still don't drink very often.

Regardless, I don't recommend getting addicted to opiates to get you off of porn.

[–]ya_stepdaddy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

When I got tired of it and wanted real pussy. Then I really quit when I learned about semen retention.

[–]thenotoriousbull0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Daily tracker on excel

[–]Lightways4340 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lifting, reading, and meditation. Eventually it became habitual and I didn’t even care to watch it or masturbate. Now a days I practice semen retention indefinitely and only ever cum through actual sex with actual woman. Thing about porn addiction is that it creeps up on you every once in a while and it’s easy to fall back into it. That’s why I got off social media completely because it’s a sure fire way to lead you back into the addiction.

[–]Snowboard180 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I quit 5 months ago and have no desire to go back to it.

I just realized that porn is the most beta shit you can do. Your literally pleasuring youself to a random bitch online instead of actually going out and getting real pussy.

[–]linkschode0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Got a girlfriend who I actually wanted to be with emotionally AND sexually

[–]depressedfuckboi0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Started getting laid instead. Stopped wasting time watching porn and investing my time into meeting women.

[–]RevolutionaryPea70 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I made sure I can have sex whenever I want it. There's no need for porn now. Almost a year without it.

[–]tacosattack0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Only way I've ever done it successfully is to remove all computers and phones from my house. If I need the internet for something I do it at work. Also helps a lot with sleep schedule. Try it for a couple of weeks, you'll be a different person.

[–]Ekhochambeer0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Started getting laid, realised porn was for losers. Only watch for educational purposes now when I want to try something new

[–]SteveSan820 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you knew how porn is made you wouldnt find it that interesting

[–]SnooSnoo860 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I will try this tool lets se how it will do for me ladderout.com

[–]Mufasavader880 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

always remember Porn can replace sex. which beats the purpose of redpill

[–]BruntLIVE0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My urges come from being single n bored I see flesh I’m in. Any advice?

[–]EdvardMunch-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

Do you have the reddit alien app?

Subscribe to gonewild, lots of porn subreddits. Give it some time and trust me you'll be sick of seeing another pussy and asshole detached from the real life interactions.

Worked for me. I have all but mostly gotten sick of looking at it. Hard to explain but its been like that for a long time now.



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