I'm tired of being a pathetic beta male, I started to improving myself, but what's next?

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July 6, 2020
59 upvotes

Yeah, as the title says, I'm a pathetic beta male. I'm a fresh college graduate. I've been a pathetic beta when I was in high school. I chase women, I give gifts for them, and I got rejected. I get jealous to all of men who had fucking hot girlfriends and I don't have one. What did I do? I watch porn and masturbate, and nothing happens, I cried alot and get tired.

When I was in college, I had a plan of loosing my virginity, but it didn't happen. I did the same as high school. I chase women, put an effort to notice me, but I still get rejected. If I got rejected, I watch porn, masturbate, and cried. Then I got more problems, I didn't graduated on time because of my academic failure, I got depressed, and had suicidal thoughts.

Now, I got graduated, but I still living with my parents. I blame them because I feel like I'm a slave to them, I obey them and loved them, and I really forgot to love myself and I didn't do whatever I want, because they always rejected me.

Then one night, I went to my bestfriend's house, I complain anything about my life, and he scolded me for being a pathetic, worthless, beta male. What he did is introducing this Red Pill, and I'm interested to learn. He wanted me to be a successful guy, not just in girls, but in life.

And I'm here, researching about redpill for eight months, I had learned anything from here. And I'm still learning outside of this subreddit, including podcasts, reading articles, watching some videos. At first, I cried alot, because I realized that what my bestfriend said to me is true, I cried and cried, and trying to move on, and learn.

Now, I'm started to the little things, like not watching porn, I deleted all of them and blocked all of sites. I started to not to masturbate, it really gives me energy and confidence, and I'm happy on the results. I'm still overthink, so I always meditate every morning. I didn't had a time to approach and talk to women because I'm focusing on finding a work, so I have money to go to the gym, lift weights, eat healthy for weight gaining. By the way, I'm 23 year old, 5'9" and a skinny guy.

And yeah, we have a pandemic, and I'm still unemployed, and still living to my parents. What should I do next? I have limited sources here, and I'm striving to improve myself.


Post Information
Title I'm tired of being a pathetic beta male, I started to improving myself, but what's next?
Author s7reak
Upvotes 59
Comments 34
Date 06 July 2020 07:52 AM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/705658
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/hm3ey1/im_tired_of_being_a_pathetic_beta_male_i_started/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
betaliftthe red pill
Comments

[–][deleted] 47 points48 points  (11 children) | Copy

Cutting out porn will be the best thing for you. Just don't make the mistake of thinking of giving up porn as a sacrifice..it's not a sacrifice because it does nothing good for you. And you are addicted to the feeling of relieving what porn withdrawal induces. It will be hard but make sure not to peek or cheat. And it is ok to fap once in a while, just try not to think of pornlike images. Ex-addict here.

Besides that read "No More Mr. Nice Guy" to learn about some behaviors you probably have been doing. Focus 100 percent on self-improvement. And practice being openly sexual with girls as you go about your day. Even if it is just flirting with a waitress or cashier. Being confident that you are desirable. Maybe join a social club, doesn't matter what it is.

Try easypeasy way to stop porno addiction here:

https://pmohackbook.org/

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy

Just finished the PMOHackbook a few days ago, finally feel free of that shit for the first time in over a decade.

Hopefully more people start to wake up

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Same here. I have tried quitting for the past 7 years. Was a hardcore addict from about 15-28. There was not even a sniff in the mainstream that porn was bad for you. I hardly even consciously considered it as a problem. Then Your Brain on Porn came out. And my whole life flashed in front of me. First few years of quitting were hell. Nofap was sort of masochistic but helped overall. Kept cheating. Got better and better with longer and longer streaks. Went about a year without porn but still went back. I am 35 now and was still peeking here and there. Even though it has destroyed so many opportunities for me, I still went back. "Just to see", and inevitably slip back into long sessions. It's a monster.

But I really feel free of it too now, finally. Glad you escaped as well.

[–][deleted]  (4 children) | Copy

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[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

That's why most guys get roped into it. Men connect through sex. It's an easy fix. Plus it is socially validated and private. Good recipe for addiction. You are not alone, most guys struggle with it. It is only now that the harmful effects of porn are becoming mainstream.

I meant more like, don't treat it like "wow I am doing so good at "giving up" porn!" That will make it harder. Think of it more like "wow I escaped porn, I'm lucky".

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

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[–]Killljoys131 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I have nothing new to add but if you need any RP book in pdf/epub format, you can pm me. I would be happy to help!

All the best for your transformation!

[–]oozzoonnee2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I just want real sex, love and affection.

Women don't love men

[–]BarcaLiverpool3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Dude EasyPeasy hackbook saved my life. I wish that book would be more widely known.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

same

[–]Strikingable1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Currently halfway through it, and this book really feels like the easy way to stop.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Happy to hear it! Yeah it kind of logic-bombs you and pre-empts your rationalizations as you go

[–]nonick12311 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yo man, here is my advice. If you think everyone here is successful as they pretend to be you are wrong. Everybody has problems and flaws but they just don't share it on the net. I was in kind the same situation as you and everything changed when I realized two things. Firstly, it is ONLY MY FAULT. I didn't have job, was fat,without goals,girlfriend- ONLY my fault. In the past I blamed everyone and everything.When I realized that I felt free and just decided to change it. To achieve something in life you must be consistent and do little things everyday or every 2-3 days and eventually you will see the results. Read the Slight edge book or the post in getdisciplined subreddit about non-zero days. My second biggest realization was that the biggest enemy is the image you see every morning in the mirror-it is you. You can't compare yourselves to the others you should strive to be a better person than yesterday.Don't overthink it, just start small,have goals and mission, be consistent and when your mind is occupied you will forget about the depression. Also, read and reread the sidebar and book of Pook to remind yourself about the reality we live in. I think it is far more important to change your mindset first instead of just going to the gym or doing nofap.

P.S. Sorry for my English, it is not my first language. I hope i have helped you.

[–]ProFriendZoner1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you think everyone here is successful as they pretend to be you are wrong.

EXACTLY!!! Most of us are here because we are NOT successful. The minority is here to help us along.

[–][deleted]  (5 children) | Copy

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[–]oozzoonnee1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

t 5'9 and skinny you need to put on muscle, especially if your face isn't anything special

How big of a difference will bulking make when it comes to women being attracted to you

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy

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[–]oozzoonnee0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm working on it! I've gained 10 pounds but I still have a lot more to go. I was really skinny lol

[–]2ComplexProjection7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

I didn't had a time to approach and talk to women because I'm focusing on finding a work, so I have money to go to the gym, lift weights, eat healthy for weight gaining.

You don't need to be in perfect shape to talk to women. You don't need time to talk to women. When you commute to wherever and you spot a woman, go for it. Just talk to her. Cute or not, get use to interact with women. Realise they are just people and most people suck. And then, when you find a cute one, try to escalate.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

bro are you me? - this is almost beat for beat by story haha

Fire a PM if you need an accountability partner or something in the exact same shoes as you.

[–]boy_named_su6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

  1. do body weight exercises until you can go to the gym
  2. try to eat enough protein. do what needs to be done (see examine.com)
  3. read The Rational Male series, Models by Manson, Game by Roosh. You can often find these free online, or get at least one free w audible

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

I can relate to this. My Brother caught me looking at Dick Pics on the other subreddits, He scolded me and made me do intense workouts. I tired of working out he said come on be a Man and push though it. He said betas compare themselves.

[–]Nuwanda2063 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

wtf?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

That was his reaction and he slapped me around

[–]DadBod2ChadBod0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I used to think I had a small dick when I was a pseudovirgin who watched porn, then when I took the red pill, stopped watching porn and got some actual pussy I realised I was doing just fine in that department. Those horse cocks in porn aren't normal and the sooner you remove yourself from seeing them on the daily and watch women's reaction to yours instead you realise it's just bullshit and you're actually ok.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ok Thanks Man

[–]Thoth_X4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Positive self image is the first step. "Pathetic" and other insults should not be in the vocabulary you use to describe yourself. Start exercising. Given the pandemic and gyms being closed you should start with calisthenics / body weight exercises. a better physique influences your mind both psychologically and physically (hormonal rebalancing). hormonal imbalance is usually the cause of depressive thoughts so getting into shape isnt just broscience its actual science for helping reduce depressive thoughts. Red Pill isnt about bitterness (even if some guys get stuck on that phase when they experince reality). Red Pill is about both acceptance and self improvement.

[–]ipwnedx2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lift

[–]akihonj4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

You don't need a gym, first of all, you can get a good shape by looking around you at what you can use. As well as your environment to get in shape.

Second you need to be clear about your goals, let nothing distract you from that goal, what is it, a job, cool get off your arse and get that job.

A series of small things that you can do for you is where it starts, too many people try to make the massive changes and either wonder why they fail or give up.

[–]sportsdude5231 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

i know you are going to get a lot of "yeah just focus on yourself and become awesome and naturally girls will begin to flock to you" advice. which is true to certain degrees, but in that process you might have thsi deep yearning for getting a gf that might still hurt.

my recommendation is improve yrouself independent of women and establish your territory, what makes you cool, what things do you like to spend time on and enjoy, but also while taking that mentality of establishing your zone of "cool", begin dating and finding a gf. lower your standards if need be and dont worry if its not this amazingly romantic experience. just roll with it when u find a gf. and then look at the experience yourself. shit... there are women just as desperate as men, so seek those out and start one just for the experience.

having a gf and seeing the ridiculouness in a relationship will be very integral to truly breaking beta male beliefs and "oneitis". because you realize "wow, waht ive been chasing this whole time is a bunch of horseshit." you realize behavior you see in a relationship and why it demands different acitons that run contrary to betamaleness. you realize "wow fuck this, i have so many better things to spend time on than a relationship." and your most important transition from beta maleness to truly not caring in a certain way (a healthy degree of not caring, not a fuck all attitude) will come alive.

on another note: when it comes to girls, stop taking the mentality of you having to be some kind of circus performer riding a unicycle juggling pinballs and hoping that she puts up a 10 score as the judge. that is the exact opposite of manhood. BE THE SELECTOR. and you can be the selector if you give certain verbal and nonverbal... or most importantly "the vibe"... that you are a cool guy that they want to be selected by. this is a very artistic concept that takes a lot of time to develop so don't sweat it if it doesn't come naturally and you mess up. small victories in this regard must be celebrated. and over time, you will have it as second nature.

a wise man once said "you're crying about one woman when there are 2.5 billion others." who cares if you mess up on one. if it makes you more comfortable, go outside of oyur immediate social sphere so you can find people youll never see again. practice talking with girls on dating apps even if they aren't pretty to learn socializing.

[–]SerialATA_Killer1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

My advice for noobies: most dudes want to fuck hot chicks, they have watched other guys fuck lots of hot chicks, and think fucking hot chicks will solve their life's problems. This leads them to pick up, and eventually, red pill. However, living your life to fuck girls is one of the shallowest of existences, and your self worth will always be tied to how many girls you can fuck.

Use red pill to become the man you want to be for yourself. There are plenty of lessons in red pill for picking up girls, but the real valuable lessons are learning how to manage all relationships and focus your energy on acquiring what you want.

Also, take your time and enjoy the journey. You wont transform overnight.

[–]anonyree1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

watching porn is not a problem.

work out. clean your diet. socialize. you should hav been working for 8 months already

[–]jankyahk3010 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don’t believe in that red pill shit bruh ima snack the color out of u what u need to do is meditate fuck these females worry about your own self sex isn’t all that stop complaining to ur friends about how bitchy u are I can say this having sex isn’t all that from the age of 15 all the way to 19 i can promise u throughout those years pussy wasn’t even all that before u even get a girl u need to get right through your self know what u need to work on

[–]nbaprospectHT0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Go watch stephiscold video on YouTube



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