Gf plans to meet her ex next week. Best course of procedure due to holidays?

bsutansalt · 2018-12-15T10:39:10+00:00

So long as you made your standards and expectations known, and what will happen if she fails to meet them, then all that's left for you to do is stick to your guns.

If you haven't made things clear, especially that latter part, then the time is now.

This all comes down to avoiding the appearance of impropriety. Whether or not she has failed in her part to uphold this critical component of trust in a relationship is a matter of opinion depending on where you draw the line: being in contact vs actually meeting with the ex. Only YOU can decide where that line is at.

Ohboohoolittlegirl · 2018-12-14T15:43:38+00:00

her parents aren't your problem, hard next her now...

ASAP_IKER · 2018-12-14T16:47:00+00:00

Met with my ex last August just to "catch up and have dinner" at my place (she's in a relationship). Guess what happened? Yes, she was riding my dick after 3 glasses of wine and while she was on my bed she was texting the BF.

Hard next that bitch, she has no respect for you.

StrongAffordance · 2018-12-14T15:44:07+00:00

You are now her ex. Would you meet your ex’s parents and take your ex to meet yours? Didn’t think so.

creating_my_life · 2018-12-14T15:55:47+00:00

End your relationship right now. Be very clear why. Her parents are her problem, not yours.

If you already have a close relationship with them, you might give her dad a phone call (not a text) and say "I was really looking forward to seeing you, but ${girl} and I ended our relationship today. I'm sorry for the short notice but it was kind of sudden." And if he asks why, that's a question he should ask his daughter.

mrrooftops · 2018-12-14T15:48:09+00:00

Think about it this way. Assuming your parents are still together... Imagine your mother organizing the same thing with an ex of hers. How would you feel about your father? Right... Next.

secter · 2018-12-14T15:52:41+00:00

She’s already planning how to “accidentally” fall on to his dick, hard next or you’re a cuck.

As for the parents, let her explain why she’s single to her parents, not your problem.

mightyquinn478 · 2018-12-14T15:51:20+00:00

Unacceptable bro. Absolutely no reason to meet with her parents when she has already essentially moved on.

Mescalean · 2018-12-14T16:57:51+00:00

Why the fuck do you care about the dinner if you know you have to break up with her? Hard next dude.

mismm · 2018-12-14T18:35:29+00:00

If you never came on her face before, do it. Then end it.

gorillasizzle · 2018-12-14T16:01:00+00:00

Anytime I hang out with my ex I fuck her. Last time I did she kept saying how bad of a person she is and how fucked up she is, pretty sure she was in a relationship. I asked her outright if she was and she said no, but I’m almost positive she was talking to someone. Next.

iPattyR6 · 2018-12-14T15:56:31+00:00

Hard next her ASAP. She’s already fucked him in her mind. Don’t worry about the plans. You’ll have even more time to spend with your family now. When they ask what happened, tell them she cheated with her ex.

DadOnDabs · 2018-12-14T17:05:50+00:00

Ex-gf*

You stated a boundary and she crossed it

animalapemachine · 2018-12-15T00:03:40+00:00

NO CLOSURE for her. this was brought to the fore a couple of weeks ago.

check it again gents....

https://archive.fo/ENAtL

Closure Is Bullshit

by laidnyc

As a man, you don’t need closure.A girl either wants to fuck you or she doesn’t. A long, emotional conversation will not change this fact.Girls, however, need to put a man they are dumping into a desexualized box and wrap a pretty bow of closure around it. By participating in the closure process you are helping her tie the bow around your desexualized fate.If a girl breaks up with you:
Do not talk about your feelings
Do not talk about her feelings
Do not argue with her reasonsJust accept it and grieve on your own time.This is hard.Why?Because a woman will never give her ACTUAL reasons for breaking up with you. She will only give you society-approved bullshit that makes her look innocent.She will never say “you didn’t fuck me good enough” or “you’re too nice and not exciting” or “no other girl I know wants to fuck you so something must be wrong with you”.She will say “I’m really busy with school and work and don’t have time for a relationship now” or “you’re great but I”m not ready for anything serious” or “I care about you as a friend”.Sometimes the reasons she give will be SO false, such obvious flowery bullshit, that you will feel a deep burning need to set her straight, to correct her misunderstanding.Don’t.You can’t logic a woman.You can say “okay”, walk away with a smirk and never contact her again.Being robbed of emotionally dripping closure, she’ll always feel a little incomplete.
Why didn’t he fight harder for me?
Did I really not get to his emotions?
Am I not as desirable to him as I thought?
Is he more desirable than I thought?Girls have egos. They WANT to know you’re emotional about her breaking up with you. It validates her. So don’t do it.You want a girl dumping you to question her reasons, not verify them.When a girl dumps you, you want to be able to look back on how your handled it with pride.When you give a girl closure, you give her your pride.

__fire_within · 2018-12-14T17:21:34+00:00

Maintaining social appearances is HUGE priority for women - probably their #1 concern in life. She's making plans to discretely cheat on you. Don't give her the honor of a dinner of pleasantries with her parents. Hard next now, make her explain to her parents why you two suddenly broke up.

MrFiles · 2018-12-14T16:13:45+00:00

Damn everyone in here is brutal. I LOVE IT! NEXT

MartinVDK91 · 2018-12-14T17:47:44+00:00

Fuck her parents, cherrish the thought they have wasted a lot of money. Not only on the flights, but also raising a whore 💪🏻 End it, while they are on the flight. Sounds harsh but we need to get these whores straight again.

rek1ess · 2018-12-14T18:06:36+00:00

Please update whatever happens.

red_matrix · 2018-12-14T20:22:22+00:00

I’ve seen girls text their boyfriend “I Love You” while lying naked in bed next to me covered in sweat...she’s not yours, it’s just your turn.

huntersam13 · 2018-12-14T20:27:35+00:00

You can not control people. But if you have communicated your comfort level with the situation, and she still chooses to go ahead and meet with him, then she should have consequences. That being you are stepping out of her life.

VengefullyY0urs · 2018-12-14T17:50:34+00:00

Next dude. Hard next.

[deleted] · 2018-12-14T17:24:12+00:00

If you don't live together: this shouldn't even be an issue. They are her parents, it's her job to explain why you're not there. She or her entourage doesn't matter anymore.

If you live together (and I hope it's your name on the lease): tell her to GTFO and tell her to call her parents and explain the situation or you'll do it yourself and tell them that their daughter is a cheating whore.

DntPnicIGotThis · 2018-12-14T19:04:05+00:00

make sure you keep proof of what's going on like a screenshot of the conversations. She may end up prego after encounter with ex and try to get back with you. You'll want to keep evidence that proves she has been sleeping around in case this turns into some type child support thing much later on.

deltron80 · 2018-12-14T20:53:19+00:00

Tell her parents and yours that she's talking to and seeing her ex and how disappointed you are that she is ending the relationship.

WeddingCrasher91 · 2018-12-14T23:06:15+00:00

Update us bro

agsuy · 2018-12-14T20:53:57+00:00

Be a man. Do what you want.

Just say bye.

Do all the logistics and then thats it.

Go to that dinne and say how sad u re that its the last dinner coz her daughter is a hoe and wanna see his ex.

Be mature and ask her directly. It is not hard at all

scanfan2022 · 2018-12-14T17:07:36+00:00

Next her. There's a zero tolerance policy on disrespectful bs like this.

El_Serpiente_Roja · 2018-12-14T17:57:59+00:00

Her parent may be nice but they arent your problem ...hard next no if ands or buts about it. Sounds like you already know exactly what to do.

[deleted] · 2018-12-14T18:33:30+00:00

Her parents her problem. She can hang out with them without your company. Hard next immediately.

[deleted] · 2018-12-14T20:30:33+00:00

Really depends on your interest in an ongoing friendship. Most relationships are much better off cutting the moment you realize it's time to cut them, no matter what.

However, if you have a good relationship with the family, and you will remain friends in the future potentially, it's not a terrible idea to just you yourself mentally unhook from her and continue on as if she's the main fuck hole you are going to bang this December through all the festivities, then whenever you get something else you can choose to next her for good our downgrade her to a FWB [as I would do and have done a few times with exes] or a plate when you need her.

Drama is the main determinate factor here. If you don't mind going solo to all your holiday stuff then do it. If you have other women available to game, start gaming them at once.

If you already talked to her about it and she knows she's ending the relationship by doing it, then the relationship has ended. How you progress should be dominated by your selfish single drives.

Enjoy your holiday, don't let this woman bug you. Use her and get more and be good to those who are good to you.

jh1871 · 2018-12-14T23:19:58+00:00

No ultimatum, no nothing. Just ghost her and let the bridges burn and cards fall where they may.

On to the next one.

yamial · 2018-12-15T04:37:58+00:00

Make sure when she gets back home, she sees you fvcking another chick on her bed with her lingeries.

PS. If the OP was sure to find a somewhat same gf soon, probably he was not asking here what he is supposed to do. This is millions of American guys Problem who have hard time to next. Nexting is not hard but finding a replacement, specially after lots of investment on a current gf is definitely hard.

[deleted] · 2018-12-14T16:00:29+00:00

Ghost her and the parents

friendandadvisor · 2018-12-14T19:38:48+00:00

Ok so I’ve been in the EXACT same situation a few years ago, and her ex definitely tried to slide back in with her after he went on a life changing adventure to do ayahuasca in South America... and he realised that he was the problem... fighting etc and she “deserved much better”.

Anyway it rubbed me the wrong way too, we talked it over after she met him for coffee and I said ‘show me your texts’, I wanted to get a taste for their dynamic over message, I’d never asked that of her before...it was clearly obvious he had plans to get back in... her messages seemed to be oblivious, either dumb or wilfully ignorant.

So I said ‘it’s clear what he wants, what do you want?’

Convinced I was right beyond doubt she decided he was a loser etc and that she’d distance herself.

The guy spent the next 6 months trying to get in talking about his new spirituality and how he ‘can see light in people’ and other hairy fairy bullshit.

He’d message every one in a while, and she would laugh at the texts showing me and never replying, she’d moved in with me at this point, 7 days a week and we were really in our ‘honeymoon’ phase of the relationship.

Anyway the actual point of my comment... is that it’s not necessarily a hard next... but she is definitely meeting up with him to see if she gets the same old tingles she once had.

If your relationship with this women is solid, a hard next seems like a bad idea... but if it’s not so solid... it’s clear that she’s on the look out for new tingles provision that you’re failing to provide.

It’s difficult to go from a non tingles situation to tingles.... but easy in reverse.... so in that case you’d want to have the mindset that you’re likely to be single soon.

All women are whores, some just trade in cash on an hourly basis... a hard next seems over the top given what I understand

Whisper · 2018-12-14T23:41:14+00:00

Why would you care what your ex-gf's parents think?

Herdsengineers · 2018-12-14T16:53:24+00:00

End it. Don't go meet her parents, and tell her you're going to your parents place alone now. If you can get refunds for airfare, do it now.

Other than that, tell her you want her to sleep separate from you, it's your lease, you get the bedroom. Ask her to move out as soon as she's reasonably able to. Other than that, you and her are roommates who will keep and respect each other's space and distance.

Then you just have to keep your composure until you and her don't live together. Don't display anger, sorrow, etc. Don't get sucked into emotional discussion. Be BIFF - brief, informative, friendly, factual - with her in as superficial and casual manner. Treat as you would a stranger in a friendly manner.

If you can, also see if you can bug out for your own holiday trip early. But document the home before you leave so you can document any damage or theft she may perpetrate while you are gone.

Bedtimeshine · 2018-12-14T17:55:25+00:00

Consequences involving parents are part of the deal. Cut her loose on the spot.

YthisGuy · 2018-12-15T00:01:30+00:00

If you have the balls. Go to the dinner. After explain right in front of the parents " You know, i dont think this is working out between me and #-&#-$. I just came out of curiosity . Your daughter here thinks its a good idea to "meet" her ex boyfriend while shes in a relationship."

Parents now know their daughter is a slut. Next.

NeedingAdvice86 · 2018-12-15T01:12:39+00:00

Just end it.... I doubt she will be very much upset as she has been broken up with you for a while but just hanging out until she makes her next arrangements.

She likely figured out she made a huge mistake with the Op and is just looking for the Ex as an easy jump for the transition.

It has been over for a while, you just have not noticed....likely one of the reason that it ended.

ProFriendZoner · 2018-12-15T07:32:24+00:00

She's going to fuck him.

NEXT!

lazyinbeds · 2018-12-15T07:43:10+00:00

Break up with her now

mrHappyPotatoe · 2018-12-15T08:04:36+00:00

You cancel everything. No explanations. Drop her good and fast.

I hope you dont cohabit with her.

WIPAlpha · 2018-12-15T08:27:11+00:00

Drop that bitch now. Break up during dinner to add some spice but let them enjoy it first. Call it her “last meal” with you. She crossed your boundaries, you have to be a little malevolent in how you deal with this situation - while controlling your emotions and being a man.

FwoGiZ · 2018-12-15T09:16:14+00:00

cancel everything... find something better to do
this is long done

waynebradysworld · 2018-12-14T19:23:36+00:00

Call her parents... Actually call, no email or texting like a little b****... Call them and tell them you won't be around to see them because their daughter has been cheating on you with her ex. Then ghost her ass as she furiously tries to save face, lie, and make excuses for her actions

By the way very sorry this happened to you

kyle768 · 2018-12-14T16:07:22+00:00

Why not meet your ex gf next week, for ‘dinner’. I mean it’s fair right?

InscrutablePUA · 2018-12-15T01:47:54+00:00

downgrade to plate, continue fucking, acquire new plates. this shit isn't that hard.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2018-12-15T01:56:58+00:00

You spelled “ex-girlfriend” wrong.

leftajar · 2018-12-14T18:29:35+00:00

Call her: "I know you're seeing your ex. You know where I stand on this. Is this your way of sneakily trying to end the relationship?"

You already know the answer, but it'll help you get over her to hear the lies and bullshit one last time.

Then go get credits for the plane tickets.

TopOccasion29 · 2018-12-14T17:27:41+00:00

You don't owe her or her parents anything.

Hard next!...You already know though. Are you living together with her? If that's the case then it could be an issue...but if you're not cohabiting with her then it shouldn't be a problem.

Edit: She is living with you goddamn it!. Let her parents know what's up and cancel the whole thing. What are the laws of tenancy and leases in your area?. You should send her packing.

inspiredshane · 2018-12-14T19:42:17+00:00

There’s no good way to rip off a band-aid man. You just have to accept it’s going to suck for a second before the pain fades.

Be honest and direct. “I said this was unacceptable. She did it anyway. I can’t trust her anymore. I wish you all the best, but I’m out.”

They’ll gaslight you, tell you you’re overreacting, try to get you to explain yourself so they can poke holes in the explanation... just expect it.

But if you drew the line, then letting them cross it simply isn’t an option. Don’t give the mouse a cookie. She’s just going to want a glass of milk.

bumbuff · 2018-12-14T21:20:24+00:00

You could rip the bandaid off or wait for her parents and have some fun.

Nov51605 · 2018-12-15T03:16:41+00:00

OVER AND OUT, SCOTTY !! holy shit - cancel plans - fuck her parents - you aren't married

sonnydanger · 2018-12-15T04:41:01+00:00

You know the answer OP. Do it and start living your life.

EpCoSpIm · 2018-12-15T21:56:33+00:00

Replace her.

bigmanoncrampus · 2018-12-30T13:56:09+00:00

If you are at the point where you are looking through her Facebook messages y'all are probably bad for eachother

pascuccired · 2018-12-14T17:43:22+00:00

Ashame her in front of her parents.

friendandadvisor · 2018-12-15T01:20:14+00:00

"Hard next" means no more contact. Going out with her and her parents is NOT hard nexting. Going out with her and her parents is "Average Frustrated Chump-ing."

banica24 · 2018-12-14T15:56:55+00:00

You’re going through her fb? What kind of insecurity are you into. Should’ve ended it last week if you picked up on red flags right

HltvFanBoy · 2018-12-14T22:15:19+00:00

NEXT even if god came to eat with you guys.

She shows 0 respect.

kayfab · 2018-12-15T02:42:58+00:00

Cheating time

antariusz · 2018-12-15T02:45:58+00:00

Your next course of action is block her number and change your locks and delete Facebook.

FiveStarTendieDinner · 2018-12-15T03:11:45+00:00

G H O S T

T H I S

C U N T

someonesopinion6969 · 2018-12-14T16:21:20+00:00

Accept that some ex's will be contact with their ex's. it happens, it's for you to be the commander of your ship but don't stop people from living the life they want.

he may be in a place of needing support and in reality the only person able to understand him is your ex, that plus he could also be mindfucking your ex into playing up as a victim.

also faggot, you're also going to ALWAYS fight with women. hard nexting or whatever, do what you want, just don't expect sympathy for sticking your dick in holes

Title	Gf plans to meet her ex next week. Best course of procedure due to holidays?
Author	beastin007
Upvotes	216
Comments	178
Date	14 December 2018 03:39 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	askTRP
Link	https://theredarchive.com/post/70649
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/a65uvd/gf_plans_to_meet_her_ex_next_week_best_course_of/

Gf plans to meet her ex next week. Best course of procedure due to holidays?

The Eight Psychological Secrets That eliminate Flaking

Badly need HELP: How do I keep him interested and convert from non-serious to serious?

Friday Evening Anxiety/Help Quashing Need to Control/Please reassure me that my boyfriend is not an awful person and that this is just a dude thing

My awakening: An international relationship analyzed with TRP

How My 4 Year Beta LTR Changed After TRP, How I Dealt With The Biggest Shit Test From Her.

Closure Is Bullshit

by laidnyc