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Gf plans to meet her ex next week. Best course of procedure due to holidays?

Reddit View
December 14, 2018

She knows that i dont accept ex’s in the picture, told her that while we were dating. Found some messages in her fb where she asked him today if they can meet sometime next week. Apparently they have been talking a lot and his cries seems to have worked on her. We had a fight a couple of days ago, and i did see this one coming. Im not gonna hamster and i know what needs to be done: hard next. But how do i do this? Her parents are flying in tomorrow and we were supposed to go to dinner with them, and we were supposed to fly out to mines the week after.

Post Information
Title Gf plans to meet her ex next week. Best course of procedure due to holidays?
Author beastin007
Upvotes 216
Comments 178
Date 14 December 2018 03:39 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Original Link
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
hamsterhard nexting

[–]Modbsutansalt[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children) | Copy

So long as you made your standards and expectations known, and what will happen if she fails to meet them, then all that's left for you to do is stick to your guns.

If you haven't made things clear, especially that latter part, then the time is now.

This all comes down to avoiding the appearance of impropriety. Whether or not she has failed in her part to uphold this critical component of trust in a relationship is a matter of opinion depending on where you draw the line: being in contact vs actually meeting with the ex. Only YOU can decide where that line is at.

[–]Ohboohoolittlegirl462 points463 points  (60 children) | Copy

her parents aren't your problem, hard next her now...

[–][deleted] 221 points222 points  (58 children) | Copy

This! The bitch knows your boundaries and she is crossing them. As a man you need to put your foot down. Tell her that if she goes to see her ex, don't bother coming back, because you won't be here.

Like Ohboohoolittlegirl said, her parents aren't your problem. If they call you or ask what happened, just say your daughter doesn't seem that interested in a relationship with me.

Stop allowing bad female behavior to go unpunished.

[–]RolandTheDickslinger166 points167 points  (3 children) | Copy

Don't give ultimatums, just leave without explaining yourself.

[–]animalapemachine30 points31 points  (0 children) | Copy

She will make herself seem the innocent bystander in her parents' eyes.
No closure for her.

[–]Jani115780 points81 points  (0 children) | Copy

This right here, she doesn't deserve the explanation. Plus, she's not stupid.

[–]11-Eleven-114 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

No way. That could ruin OPs reputation. At least with an explanation she would feel some shame and maybe spread less rumors about him.

[–]cafeitalia22 points23 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't even tell her that you will leave if she sees her ex. In a ltr it is not allowed to be in contact with exes. Simple as that. No buts no ifs. If you even talk about it she has power and control over you. Just next her. Leave. Vanish. Then block her ass from all possible contacts. Unfriend her on Facebook and other social media. Simple as that. She doesn't respect you and you should not even fuck a plate if she doesn't respect you.

[–]Casanova-Quinn22 points23 points  (1 child) | Copy

There's no point in threatening her with a break up. She's already planning on cheating, so just break up with her before it happens.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah that seems to be the consensus.

[–]beastin007[S] 48 points49 points  (29 children) | Copy

Tell her? I obviously cant tell her that. Im just gonna pull the plug tomorrow. Cant do it tonight when she gets back from work. This is the reason you dont live with LTRs. Damn, I have to reach out to friends for a couch or something

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten37 points38 points  (28 children) | Copy

Who has the lease? Her parents can support her. Try to think clearly. PM me if you need to, I'm off work today and have been through this before.

[–]beastin007[S] 45 points46 points  (27 children) | Copy

Me. My lease.

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten111 points112 points  (17 children) | Copy

OK. Here's how I did it...

Called off work.

Contacted fraternity brother with a truck. We loaded everything of any value and I dumped it in his basement in the suburbs. This could be a storage unit but they usually rent on yearly contracts.

Left a note that said "it's over and I wish you the best".

Called the landlord and explained. Had him call an inspection per the lease, send her an offer to re execute a new lease and a formal notice of vacancy by me, which she obviously ignored. This helped establish liability if she trashed the place, because it legally proved I didn't live there and it wasn't trashed when he inspected. Edit: take pictures because landlords always have a notice period before they can inspect.

Went totally no contact after calling her mom (was very very close with her family and they still send me holiday cards). Did not respond to a word of communication from her.

Helped landlord re rent the place to get my security deposit back.

Good luck homie

[–]1ANGRY_ATHEIST10 points11 points  (6 children) | Copy

Like a boss.

Keep in mind though... most states have squatters' rights. Since she isn't on the lease, if she really wanted to make a stink, she could just stay there while you're still liable for the remainder of the lease. Don't let her know that, having the landlord approach her with a lease transfer would make it seem as though she officially "needs" to do it. If she wanted to be a real pain in the ass about all this, she could. I would look over your local squatters' rights laws as well as your lease contract just to be safe.

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

You are correct and this is exactly why I took the "official sounding" approach, because it created the perception everything was already in place and nothing could be done. She just wanted the easiest way out, which most will.

[–]waynebradysworld-3 points-2 points  (4 children) | Copy

God and the devil are real by the way

[–]1ANGRY_ATHEIST2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Shhh. I'm just trying to fit in around here.

[–]waynebradysworld-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

What is this trosh

[–]mattyiceheretoentice33 points34 points  (7 children) | Copy

Beast mode

[–]Nov516050 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

At first I had you and OP confused and thought "Wow, that was quick!"

[–]ReturnsOver 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

If it's your lease, why the fuck would you be the one reaching out to friends for a couch to crash on, what the actual fuck mate

Kick her out and have her things ready to go in a bag and she can sort the problem out, what even....

[–][deleted] 36 points37 points  (4 children) | Copy

What is wrong with you?

When she comes home from work, she should find a suitcase packed with a few days worth of her things - clothing, toiletries, etc. If you're feeling particularly generous and if it's necessary, throw in enough cash for a hotel for tonight. Or maybe she can stay with her ex.

She can come by in a few days to get the rest of her stuff.

EDIT: If you think it's appropriate, then you should be home when she gets home and tell her "It's over. You know why. Here's your stuff. Go check the bathroom real quick to make sure I didn't miss anything important. You can come by in a couple of days to get the rest of your stuff." And then shut up.

[–]t0rches 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

don't pay for her hotel. that would be pathetic. but other than that this is what you need to do

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

We don't know if she has enough money or friends she could stay with (which is why I said "if it's necessary"). I wouldn't feel right throwing a girl out at night if I didn't know she had some place to go, and OP obviously doesn't either. $100 for a night at Motel 6 is a low price for a clear conscience. It's better than letting her stay with him one more night.

But he's under no obligation to do so.


I prefer "magnanimous".

[–]MartinVDK918 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't care if she has no money.

[–]eatingaburritoatm8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Kick her ass out

[–]TheGatesOfValhalla10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Then why the fuck are you going anywhere? Do you even understand what TRP is?

Go get your balls out of your soon to be ex girlfriends purse and replace them in your pants.

[–]4thAndLong12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ultimatums are a waste of time. She shouldn't have acted the way she did to where it even gets to the point of an ultimatum. You don't owe her anything at that point and the relationship is over.

[–]BusterVadge29 points30 points  (8 children) | Copy

I disagree with this. There's no reason to be a hardass about it. Simply tell her why you're done with her, block on everything and be done with it.

The worst punishment a woman can get is losing the attention of a good man.

[–]NeedingAdvice865 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

Bhahahahh….are we sure this is a good man?

Because honestly even this short tenure comes across he is likely a shit and the girl is going back to her Ex.

And I doubt she will actually be very much harassed that the Op broke up with her....she likely broke up with him weeks ago.

I do just love how all the dudes where instantly jump to the conclusion that the girl is a bitch and is leaving behind a paragon of virtue and godly man.

The GF is likely looking to get back with her Ex but I highly suspect it isn't anything other than she figured out that she made a huge mistake with the Op.

[–]PokeyTifu996 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

Could be true but doesnt justify disrespectful behavior from her. Two wrongs if your assumption is correct but he is justified either way AWALT.

[–]NeedingAdvice861 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Just lots of bitter hate clouds the opinions and responses of so much of the responders.

I doubt the GF is going to dry many tears when the Op drops the "we are broken up" on her....she will likely be "Well, yeah for a while" while the Op expects some great wailing and display of emotions.

But I understand this place is guaranteed to hate the girl for not bowing and scraping to the guy whether he was a jackass or shit or the greatest guy in the world....from the original post, I highly suspect that it isn't the last. Honestly there was ZERO way that this site is going to accept a girl breaking up with the guy...she will always be a bitch or know that, I know that, we all should know that the girl has only one way not to be the evil bitch in this circumstance on this site....shut up, sit down and put up with the Op regardless of whether he is a jackass, loser or most improbably, a god a BF.

The relationship just needs to end....the Op had no intention of ending it....he likely would just have glided along for months\years in the shitty relationship....the girl was just ahead of the curve and looking for her exit route. And I doubt she has much concern about disrespecting the Op....

[–]PokeyTifu991 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Right, and that is why you see the backlash in this thread. The downright disrespect to openly seek a new partner or even rekindle an old flame while you are still currently in a relationship should be shit on. He's acting like a cuck no doubt, but shes acting as if this is acceptable behaviour. Everyone here is just trying to get the point accross that women need to understand men aren't going to put up with their manipulation. It's TRP after all, this isn't the relationships subreddit, so most responses will be aimed towards a certain answer.

Fact of the matter is, with the evidence we have only from OP, you can only get one type of response. That being ditch her for being a disrespectful partner, and find someone else who gives you respect.

[–]nO0f 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

He lives with her.

[–][deleted] 50 points51 points  (1 child) | Copy

She lives with him.

[–]desistrategist2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Pure Gold: ' Stop allowing bad female behavior to go unpunished'

[–]rebuildingMyself5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

This. She's more than happy to explain to them why you dumped her (yeah right)

[–]ASAP_IKER226 points227 points  (2 children) | Copy

Met with my ex last August just to "catch up and have dinner" at my place (she's in a relationship). Guess what happened? Yes, she was riding my dick after 3 glasses of wine and while she was on my bed she was texting the BF.

Hard next that bitch, she has no respect for you.

[–][deleted] 60 points61 points  (0 children) | Copy

This doesn't have enough upvotes and I hope he read it.

Banging an ex is very easy in most circumstances, almost forever.

[–]PokeyTifu999 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Poor idiot is probably in love wondering what HE did to cause this.

[–]StrongAffordance 1 points [recovered]  (5 children) | Copy

You are now her ex. Would you meet your ex’s parents and take your ex to meet yours? Didn’t think so.

[–]BurnieSlander105 points106 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is the answer. OP you are being disrespected. You don’t have a girlfriend anymore, you have a wild monkey who is looking to branch swing.

[–]thatbadrogue25 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

clip da branch brrrrroooo watch that bitch fall like in tarzan

[–][deleted] 152 points153 points  (12 children) | Copy

End your relationship right now. Be very clear why. Her parents are her problem, not yours.

If you already have a close relationship with them, you might give her dad a phone call (not a text) and say "I was really looking forward to seeing you, but ${girl} and I ended our relationship today. I'm sorry for the short notice but it was kind of sudden." And if he asks why, that's a question he should ask his daughter.

[–]creating_my_life45 points46 points  (0 children) | Copy

but ${girl} and I ended our relationship today.

just a slight upgrade on language:

"I ended my relationship with ${girl} today."

Take ownership.

[–]actually-guy 1 points [recovered]  (8 children) | Copy

And if he asks why, that's a question he should ask his daughter.

You make it sound like she will do the honorable thing? She is going to say (while crying): "OP used to beat me and I found out he rapes women on the side, so I broke it off!"

[–]Kurush55926 points27 points  (0 children) | Copy

And that's the red pill for ya

[–]StopGaming12344 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

When I broke up with my BPD narcissistic ex I told her parents exactly what happened and said I'm done. Meanwhile she actually told her parents, which I was actually very close to, that the reason she cheated on me was because I apparently cheated first on her with the girlfriend of my best buddy. Told them I did not love her anymore, never had time bla bla every textbook lie available.

Insane mental 4D gymnastics she did there.

Her mother was very enraged first, but eventually realized that her daughter is making up shit again. Her father was sad to not see me again. He sometimes called me to ask how I am and that his daughter is retarded for letting someone go who brought so much positivity, money and status in her life (Not his exact words)

[–]failingtheturingtest3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

And it doesn't matter what she tells him. Because you move on with your life. You have removed the drama.

[–]JakarrSlamson10 points11 points  (4 children) | Copy

If OP is as professional as he sounds, the dad should be able to figure it out on his own

[–]TopOccasion2930 points31 points  (3 children) | Copy

Yeah but most dads won't be understanding, they don't want to face the fact that their little princess is a disrespectful soon to be whore.

[–]JakarrSlamson13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

They will act like that fact isn’t true, but deep down they know it is

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’ve lived with my daughter long enough to take her off a pedestal. Doesn’t mean I don’t love her to end and back & all that sappy shit. Does mean I know she’s a fucked up human like all of us.

[–]bakamoney1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Tbh if you are the father yo want to your daughters on TRP too.

as I you would want the best for what they want - a stable beta payer and alpha fuck. Even.

[–]nateydanger25 points26 points  (0 children) | Copy

out of everything I read I would advise this course of action. It's middle of the road open with the communication and honest.

[–]friendandadvisor3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

And if he asks why, that's a question he should ask his daughter.

Nah, WTF should he be rude to his bud, and cover for a whore? He should just say "She wants back with her ex." And, leave it at that. WTF go all CIA or some nonsense like that?

[–]mrrooftops61 points62 points  (3 children) | Copy

Think about it this way. Assuming your parents are still together... Imagine your mother organizing the same thing with an ex of hers. How would you feel about your father? Right... Next.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy

This is sound advice

[–]mrrooftops12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy

It's an analogy worth raising when your partner does something that wouldn't be accepted happily by them if their parents did it. Helps them step outside of themselves for an eye-opening minute.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

It’s a great analogy

[–]secter102 points103 points  (0 children) | Copy

She’s already planning how to “accidentally” fall on to his dick, hard next or you’re a cuck.

As for the parents, let her explain why she’s single to her parents, not your problem.

[–]mightyquinn47881 points82 points  (0 children) | Copy

Unacceptable bro. Absolutely no reason to meet with her parents when she has already essentially moved on.

[–]Mescalean20 points21 points  (3 children) | Copy

Why the fuck do you care about the dinner if you know you have to break up with her? Hard next dude.

[–]toothdude 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

Depends on what's for dinner. Maybe hard next after. /s

[–]Mescalean8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

Actually your right. Check where first OP. Would not pass up a steak and shoe string fries at houstons...

[–]friendandadvisor1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well, if Dad's paying, perhaps there is some wiggle room here. OP could act very polite, then, somewhere in the middle of the evening bring up that she shouldn't go see her ex, and ask parents what they thought about that. Embarrass the slut, get a free!

[–]mismm 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

If you never came on her face before, do it. Then end it.

[–]drakehfh12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

This mentality if wrong. It doesn't teach people to put themselves before sex with horrible people. So if he fucks her one more time, what will that change? Nothing positive, it would just make it harder for the op to have abundance mentality.

[–]DntPnicIGotThis10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

this is correct answer

[–]gorillasizzle 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

Anytime I hang out with my ex I fuck her. Last time I did she kept saying how bad of a person she is and how fucked up she is, pretty sure she was in a relationship. I asked her outright if she was and she said no, but I’m almost positive she was talking to someone. Next.

[–]TopOccasion2930 points31 points  (1 child) | Copy

LOL I Met up with an ex- FWB last week. She's getting married in 2 weeks and she said we should just chill and have fun. She was blowing me within 10 min after she arrived at mine.

[–]markinsinz722 points23 points  (0 children) | Copy

Arghhh each time I think I'm past anger phase shit like this pulls me back haha.

Probably not being the guy that gets to enjoy this slutty nature of women is what makes it harder I guess.

Enjoy the wedding. You know she's gonna call ya after the honeymoon

[–]iPattyR630 points31 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hard next her ASAP. She’s already fucked him in her mind. Don’t worry about the plans. You’ll have even more time to spend with your family now. When they ask what happened, tell them she cheated with her ex.

[–]DadOnDabs11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy


You stated a boundary and she crossed it

[–]animalapemachine12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

NO CLOSURE for her. this was brought to the fore a couple of weeks ago.

check it again gents....

Closure Is Bullshit

by laidnyc

As a man, you don’t need closure.A girl either wants to fuck you or she doesn’t.  A long, emotional conversation will not change this fact.Girls, however, need to put a man they are dumping into a desexualized box and wrap a pretty bow of closure around it.  By participating in the closure process you are helping her tie the bow around your desexualized fate.If a girl breaks up with you:
Do not talk about your feelings
Do not talk about her feelings
Do not argue with her reasonsJust accept it and grieve on your own time.This is hard.Why?Because a woman will never give her ACTUAL reasons for breaking up with you.  She will only give you society-approved bullshit that makes her look innocent.She will never say “you didn’t fuck me good enough” or “you’re too nice and not exciting” or “no other girl I know wants to fuck you so something must be wrong with you”.She will say “I’m really busy with school and work and don’t have time for a relationship now” or “you’re great but I”m not ready for anything serious” or “I care about you as a friend”.Sometimes the reasons she give will be SO false, such obvious flowery bullshit, that you will feel a deep burning need to set her straight, to correct her misunderstanding.Don’t.You can’t logic a woman.You can say “okay”, walk away with a smirk and never contact her again.Being robbed of emotionally dripping closure, she’ll always feel a little incomplete.
Why didn’t he fight harder for me?
Did I really not get to his emotions?
Am I not as desirable to him as I thought?
Is he more desirable than I thought?Girls have egos.  They WANT to know you’re emotional about her breaking up with you.  It validates her.  So don’t do it.You want a girl dumping you to question her reasons, not verify them.When a girl dumps you, you want to be able to look back on how your handled it with pride.When you give a girl closure, you give her your pride.

[–]__fire_within26 points27 points  (1 child) | Copy

Maintaining social appearances is HUGE priority for women - probably their #1 concern in life. She's making plans to discretely cheat on you. Don't give her the honor of a dinner of pleasantries with her parents. Hard next now, make her explain to her parents why you two suddenly broke up.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

She wont.

[–]MrFiles43 points44 points  (4 children) | Copy

Damn everyone in here is brutal. I LOVE IT! NEXT

[–]beastin007[S] 39 points40 points  (3 children) | Copy

I love it too. Everything is clear when you just block out the noise and listen to your gut. Im gonna hit the gym now. Keep posting. I will update later

[–]vtagler5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

For me it’s always easier to next a girl when they pull BS like that vs a girl that actually had some potential. It shows you straight up that you’re not missing out on anything with her & can be prepared if it happens again.

[–]TacoMedic2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, breaking up with a good person is hard. Even when you know it's the best thing for you, the fact that theres really nothing to blame on them, makes you fucking miserable.

It's when bitches do this shit that you might have a few self-pity tears then go out to the bar with a friend and hookup with a rando. You're good the week afterwards.

[–]airmcnair060 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

So, have you done it yet? What happened?

[–]MartinVDK918 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck her parents, cherrish the thought they have wasted a lot of money. Not only on the flights, but also raising a whore 💪🏻 End it, while they are on the flight. Sounds harsh but we need to get these whores straight again.

[–]rek1ess9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Please update whatever happens.

[–]red_matrix7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’ve seen girls text their boyfriend “I Love You” while lying naked in bed next to me covered in sweat...she’s not yours, it’s just your turn.

[–]huntersam136 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

You can not control people. But if you have communicated your comfort level with the situation, and she still chooses to go ahead and meet with him, then she should have consequences. That being you are stepping out of her life.

[–]VengefullyY0urs5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Next dude. Hard next.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you don't live together: this shouldn't even be an issue. They are her parents, it's her job to explain why you're not there. She or her entourage doesn't matter anymore.

If you live together (and I hope it's your name on the lease): tell her to GTFO and tell her to call her parents and explain the situation or you'll do it yourself and tell them that their daughter is a cheating whore.

[–]DntPnicIGotThis5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

make sure you keep proof of what's going on like a screenshot of the conversations. She may end up prego after encounter with ex and try to get back with you. You'll want to keep evidence that proves she has been sleeping around in case this turns into some type child support thing much later on.

[–]deltron803 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Tell her parents and yours that she's talking to and seeing her ex and how disappointed you are that she is ending the relationship.

[–]swolingstoned2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

He can't say he was checking on her Facebook

[–]WeddingCrasher915 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Update us bro

[–]agsuy2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Be a man. Do what you want.

Just say bye.

Do all the logistics and then thats it.

Go to that dinne and say how sad u re that its the last dinner coz her daughter is a hoe and wanna see his ex.

Be mature and ask her directly. It is not hard at all

[–]scanfan20229 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Next her. There's a zero tolerance policy on disrespectful bs like this.

[–]El_Serpiente_Roja2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Her parent may be nice but they arent your problem ...hard next no if ands or buts about it. Sounds like you already know exactly what to do.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Her parents her problem. She can hang out with them without your company. Hard next immediately.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Really depends on your interest in an ongoing friendship. Most relationships are much better off cutting the moment you realize it's time to cut them, no matter what.

However, if you have a good relationship with the family, and you will remain friends in the future potentially, it's not a terrible idea to just you yourself mentally unhook from her and continue on as if she's the main fuck hole you are going to bang this December through all the festivities, then whenever you get something else you can choose to next her for good our downgrade her to a FWB [as I would do and have done a few times with exes] or a plate when you need her.

Drama is the main determinate factor here. If you don't mind going solo to all your holiday stuff then do it. If you have other women available to game, start gaming them at once.

If you already talked to her about it and she knows she's ending the relationship by doing it, then the relationship has ended. How you progress should be dominated by your selfish single drives.

Enjoy your holiday, don't let this woman bug you. Use her and get more and be good to those who are good to you.

[–]jh18712 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

No ultimatum, no nothing. Just ghost her and let the bridges burn and cards fall where they may.

On to the next one.

[–]yamial 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Make sure when she gets back home, she sees you fvcking another chick on her bed with her lingeries.

PS. If the OP was sure to find a somewhat same gf soon, probably he was not asking here what he is supposed to do. This is millions of American guys Problem who have hard time to next. Nexting is not hard but finding a replacement, specially after lots of investment on a current gf is definitely hard.

[–]TopOccasion290 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

she sees you fvcking another chick on her bed with her lingeries.

That would be epic...the irony is that if OP was the one who told his gf that his ex needed him and was gonna meet up with her, she wouldn't be too happy with that lol.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ghost her and the parents

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (7 children) | Copy

Ok so I’ve been in the EXACT same situation a few years ago, and her ex definitely tried to slide back in with her after he went on a life changing adventure to do ayahuasca in South America... and he realised that he was the problem... fighting etc and she “deserved much better”.

Anyway it rubbed me the wrong way too, we talked it over after she met him for coffee and I said ‘show me your texts’, I wanted to get a taste for their dynamic over message, I’d never asked that of her was clearly obvious he had plans to get back in... her messages seemed to be oblivious, either dumb or wilfully ignorant.

So I said ‘it’s clear what he wants, what do you want?’

Convinced I was right beyond doubt she decided he was a loser etc and that she’d distance herself.

The guy spent the next 6 months trying to get in talking about his new spirituality and how he ‘can see light in people’ and other hairy fairy bullshit.

He’d message every one in a while, and she would laugh at the texts showing me and never replying, she’d moved in with me at this point, 7 days a week and we were really in our ‘honeymoon’ phase of the relationship.

Anyway the actual point of my comment... is that it’s not necessarily a hard next... but she is definitely meeting up with him to see if she gets the same old tingles she once had.

If your relationship with this women is solid, a hard next seems like a bad idea... but if it’s not so solid... it’s clear that she’s on the look out for new tingles provision that you’re failing to provide.

It’s difficult to go from a non tingles situation to tingles.... but easy in reverse.... so in that case you’d want to have the mindset that you’re likely to be single soon.

All women are whores, some just trade in cash on an hourly basis... a hard next seems over the top given what I understand

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

I am under the impression they already talked about the ex and her messaging him but I think the talk you gave would probably suit most people very well.

You often have to point this sort of thing out to a woman, they really can be oblivious to their own motivation, and certainly the motivation of the ex.

I know plenty of space cadet chicks that would go visit an ex, on the way totally not believe they would do anything sexual, then 'accidentally' bang them and hide it out of shame or fear of 'losing' the guy they were with.

I think the really important rule I recently learned is if a woman takes action like a single woman, going out without her partner, getting drunk, spending time with other men, not answering texts when out and all that shit... Then she should be a single woman. No man should be mad about this, he's just not the one that hooks her hard enough to alter these actions, OR she will be a mindless disloyal woman until she has a controlling partner, or maybe she's one of the rare ones that is totally aware and an egomaniac selfish bitch that just loves to lie and fuck.

You don't usually know right away, but over time actions certainly speak louder than words.

[–]friendandadvisor1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

You often have to point this sort of thing out to a woman, they really can be oblivious to their own motivation, and certainly the motivation of the ex.

I can't even...

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Kid stuff I know, but it can also be that they pretend ignorance. Happens with younger people in general not just women, but many people stop growing, stop maturing and remain without an outer perspective.

They are firmly within themselves and believe everything they think is true and that they are the smartest person on the planet. They cannot see anyone being smarter because it is literally beyond their comprehension.

[–]friendandadvisor1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

So, your chick tried to branch swing back to an ex, decided he wasn't worth it, after you pressured her to not do it, she now lives with you, and you think you are ahead of the game?

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Oh young Padawan, Gawd no! She’s an ex.

Fuck bitches, get money

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Fuck bitches, get money

I can get behind this!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeh she was a whore with a sugar daddy history and notoriety on a website called fetlife... looked like the girl next door, with a killer early 20’s model body. Great in bed...taught me a lot about bdsm...

Looked too cute for fetlife, but some of the cutest are the most submissive

Fun while it was my turn

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Why would you care what your ex-gf's parents think?

[–]Herdsengineers2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

End it. Don't go meet her parents, and tell her you're going to your parents place alone now. If you can get refunds for airfare, do it now.

Other than that, tell her you want her to sleep separate from you, it's your lease, you get the bedroom. Ask her to move out as soon as she's reasonably able to. Other than that, you and her are roommates who will keep and respect each other's space and distance.

Then you just have to keep your composure until you and her don't live together. Don't display anger, sorrow, etc. Don't get sucked into emotional discussion. Be BIFF - brief, informative, friendly, factual - with her in as superficial and casual manner. Treat as you would a stranger in a friendly manner.

If you can, also see if you can bug out for your own holiday trip early. But document the home before you leave so you can document any damage or theft she may perpetrate while you are gone.

[–]Qyuk1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Why BIFF? How does it affects other's?

[–]Bedtimeshine1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Consequences involving parents are part of the deal. Cut her loose on the spot.

[–]YthisGuy1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

If you have the balls. Go to the dinner. After explain right in front of the parents " You know, i dont think this is working out between me and #-&#-$. I just came out of curiosity . Your daughter here thinks its a good idea to "meet" her ex boyfriend while shes in a relationship."

Parents now know their daughter is a slut. Next.

[–]KilgorrreTrout0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Why? This just seems like a good way to cause a scene in a public place and stir up drama. And parents tend to defend their children, at least in public, even if they know their child fucked up. This would put him a 3vs1 argument situation in a public setting. Sounds like a terrible idea.

[–]friendandadvisor2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This just seems like a good way to cause a scene in a public place and stir up drama.

You say this as if it is a bad thing.

[–]NeedingAdvice861 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just end it.... I doubt she will be very much upset as she has been broken up with you for a while but just hanging out until she makes her next arrangements.

She likely figured out she made a huge mistake with the Op and is just looking for the Ex as an easy jump for the transition.

It has been over for a while, you just have not noticed....likely one of the reason that it ended.

[–]ProFriendZoner1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She's going to fuck him.


[–]lazyinbeds1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Break up with her now

[–]mrHappyPotatoe1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You cancel everything. No explanations. Drop her good and fast.

I hope you dont cohabit with her.

[–]WIPAlpha1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Drop that bitch now. Break up during dinner to add some spice but let them enjoy it first. Call it her “last meal” with you. She crossed your boundaries, you have to be a little malevolent in how you deal with this situation - while controlling your emotions and being a man.

[–]FwoGiZ1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

cancel everything... find something better to do
this is long done

[–]waynebradysworld0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Call her parents... Actually call, no email or texting like a little b****... Call them and tell them you won't be around to see them because their daughter has been cheating on you with her ex. Then ghost her ass as she furiously tries to save face, lie, and make excuses for her actions

By the way very sorry this happened to you

[–]kyle7682 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Why not meet your ex gf next week, for ‘dinner’. I mean it’s fair right?

[–]beastin007[S] 48 points49 points  (2 children) | Copy

Nah, I hard nexted her too. This train moves forward, im not a taxi

[–]bostezo228 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Like we say here in Spain: "BRAVO!!!!" (BIG ROUND OF APLAUSE)

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

LOL - Just to get at you again, reading the comments, getting credit on your flights is pretty awesome this time of year. I don't know who you used but Southwest lets you keep it as credit for like a year so you can find something else to do either at a discount or even cheaper at times.

[–]InscrutablePUA1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

downgrade to plate, continue fucking, acquire new plates. this shit isn't that hard.

[–]WIPAlpha2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

We’re human at the end of the day and emotions are always involved, that’s the case with him. He wants to know how to deal with it so don’t oversimplify it by saying it’s not hard.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You spelled “ex-girlfriend” wrong.

[–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Call her: "I know you're seeing your ex. You know where I stand on this. Is this your way of sneakily trying to end the relationship?"

You already know the answer, but it'll help you get over her to hear the lies and bullshit one last time.

Then go get credits for the plane tickets.

[–]TopOccasion290 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You don't owe her or her parents anything.

Hard next!...You already know though. Are you living together with her? If that's the case then it could be an issue...but if you're not cohabiting with her then it shouldn't be a problem.

Edit: She is living with you goddamn it!. Let her parents know what's up and cancel the whole thing. What are the laws of tenancy and leases in your area?. You should send her packing.

[–]inspiredshane0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

There’s no good way to rip off a band-aid man. You just have to accept it’s going to suck for a second before the pain fades.

Be honest and direct. “I said this was unacceptable. She did it anyway. I can’t trust her anymore. I wish you all the best, but I’m out.”

They’ll gaslight you, tell you you’re overreacting, try to get you to explain yourself so they can poke holes in the explanation... just expect it.

But if you drew the line, then letting them cross it simply isn’t an option. Don’t give the mouse a cookie. She’s just going to want a glass of milk.

[–]bumbuff0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You could rip the bandaid off or wait for her parents and have some fun.

[–]Nov516050 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

OVER AND OUT, SCOTTY !! holy shit - cancel plans - fuck her parents - you aren't married

[–]sonnydanger0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You know the answer OP. Do it and start living your life.

[–]EpCoSpIm0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Replace her.

[–]bigmanoncrampus0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you are at the point where you are looking through her Facebook messages y'all are probably bad for eachother

[–]pascuccired0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Ashame her in front of her parents.

[–]TopOccasion296 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

That would backfire for Op. Her parents will mostly likely take her side.

[–]pascuccired1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I was joking. But if he was to do that, he would just state the betrayal with proof and leave. There's no need to stay and argue with her and her parents.

[–]friendandadvisor1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

He could call her parents and ask them if they can be prepared to take her back with them. Irrespective of the answer, he'll have embarrassed her.

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"Hard next" means no more contact. Going out with her and her parents is NOT hard nexting. Going out with her and her parents is "Average Frustrated Chump-ing."

[–]HltvFanBoy-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

NEXT even if god came to eat with you guys.

She shows 0 respect.

[–]kayfab-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Cheating time

[–]antariusz-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your next course of action is block her number and change your locks and delete Facebook.

[–]FiveStarTendieDinner-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy




[–]someonesopinion6969 1 points [recovered]  (7 children) | Copy

Accept that some ex's will be contact with their ex's. it happens, it's for you to be the commander of your ship but don't stop people from living the life they want.

he may be in a place of needing support and in reality the only person able to understand him is your ex, that plus he could also be mindfucking your ex into playing up as a victim.

also faggot, you're also going to ALWAYS fight with women. hard nexting or whatever, do what you want, just don't expect sympathy for sticking your dick in holes

[–]TopOccasion293 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Accept that some ex's will be contact with their ex's

What kind of faggotry is this?. Any one worthwhile (male or female) will not keep in contact in their ex while in a relationship. It's her responsibility to shut down any communication or approaches from an ex.

he may be in a place of needing support and in reality the only person able to understand him is your ex

Who gives a shit, her ex is not OP's concern

[–]friendandadvisor1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

he may be in a place of needing support and in reality the only person able to understand him is your ex

Who gives a shit, her ex is not OP's concern

Yep; and, if she is the only person able to understand him, she should be working for Miss Cleo, and working wonders in Lourdes or Rome, not being in a relationship with just one mere mortal.

[–]CrazyHorseInvincible[M] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Lurk more.


[–]someonesopinion6969 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

aka read the message the way the reader intended.

[–]CrazyHorseInvincible[M] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I don't care what you intend. I care what you say on my sub.

[–]someonesopinion6969 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

It's a sub for the community isn't it? don't try and be some virtual daddy

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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